I want to have sex with a girl this week

[Olaf]

@Ulax

[Inliytened1]

@JosheI see you here. We can't make this shit up. This is classic shit.  Let's teach these boys.  I know you aren't quite as old as me 40's is good. You been there bro.

 

Edited 19 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Natasha Tori Maru]

2 hours ago, something_else said:

See I would interpret both of these as playful teasing or a direct insult entirely depending on her energy, and act based on that.

If it’s playful teasing I’ll roll with the punches, if it’s a direct insult then I would just laugh and walk away.

The concept of a shit test is meaningless precisely because if it is a real concept and a girl uses one, I don’t want to continue the conversation anyway. My time is better spent elsewhere with girls like 95% of girls I’ve hooked up with or dated in my life, who didn’t do this.

I find that even having the idea of looking and labelling something a shit test conducive to poor social dynamics - just personally.

Would take me right out of the moment and into analysis. Never good.

Edited 17 hours ago by Natasha Tori Maru

[Olaf]

@Natasha Tori Maru That is why you don´t practice it in the field, like you practice this stuff at home so you don´t think about it when you approach someone. Or after you have approached and you come home, you can think about how you could have come up with something better.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

34 minutes ago, Olaf said:

@Natasha Tori Maru That is why you don´t practice it in the field, like you practice this stuff at home so you don´t think about it when you approach someone. Or after you have approached and you come home, you can think about how you could have come up with something better.

Reflection 😁

[something_else]

4 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

I find that even having the idea of looking and labelling something a shit test conducive to poor social dynamics - just personally.

Would take me right out of the moment and into analysis. Never good.

I agree. I think it has some narrow scope of value for people who have really underdeveloped social skills and need a step-by-step instruction booklet on how to flirt or banter. Beyond that it seems really bizarre and unhelpful to me.

Again, I also come from a country where giving people shit is how you make friends most of the time, so maybe that contributes to my opinion on this being a dumb concept.

[Miguel1]

As a man, I test the girls all the time.

I call it piss testing.

Where I see how immature they are. I’m not even kidding.

Edited 12 hours ago by Miguel1

[PsychedelicEagle]

11 hours ago, something_else said:

My approach to dating or chatting to girls has always just been to talk to them like human beings, be playful, be flirty, and politely accept rejection if it happens. I know deep down that if one girl doesn't like me it isn't a reflection on me as a whole and another girl will. This approach has worked well for me so far.

I think that's a good & healthy approach.

11 hours ago, something_else said:

If we exclude playfulness, how do you distinguish a "shit test" from genuine criticism, rudeness or rejection? If you can't, you're potentially teaching guys to interpret "fuck off" as a test they're supposed to pass because actually "'fuck off' is a shit test and really, deep down she actually likes you". Which is a bit rapey, and not something we should be teaching guys.

In my mind: you don't try to distinguish. You just act from first principles. You know what respectful behavior for you means and you act in accordance to that. That's why having a principled approach to life is important. If she crosses a boundary, you enforce the boundary and walk away. If she comes after and changes her behavior, that demonstrates her interest (and that it was a shit test). You should not be running after the girl after she exhibits any behavior that resembles rejection.

If the guy's goal is to get the girl regardless of her behavior he's already lost. And from that place he can exhibit rapey behavior, yes. So again, the importance of principles in one's modus operandi.

If she comes back after the shit test then you know it was indeed a shit test and not real rejection. Hard to know until then, and one should not be chasing the girl in either way. However, being aware that such types of "shit testing" can occur helps the guy knows what's possible and be prepared when she unexpectedly comes back after you enforced your boundaries. Which is why the distinction is helpful IME.

Edited 10 hours ago by PsychedelicEagle

[LordFall]

@Olaf The week is over my brother. I don't think you achieved the goal right? There are of course still many lessons to be learned from a failed quest. 

What are your biggest takeaways from the week? I haven't followed the whole thread beyond my initial contribution and answering some questions but I assume you took massive action this week and learned a lot. 

Edited 1 hour ago by LordFall

[Olaf]

@LordFall to never self reject, which is more then only closing, it is not rejecting yourself in the open aswell. The whole idea of the conversation is to close. Second biggest lesson is to write down what you are screening for aka qualifying. Just before you go out look at for the traits you want in a woman and write them down, then go out with the mindset that you go out there to qualify her for these things (not just looks). Last one is to aim bigger, don't aim for a number, aim for an instant date or to get laid. There are many smaller lessons, but these are the bigger ones that had the most impact. 

[Yimpa]

23 hours ago, Miguel1 said:

Thank you for asking Joy.

Some people in my personal life learned about me being in this forum, so I’m just protecting my privacy. I will put up a new updated picture later.

I love the work we do here but for a common folk (99% of people in my life), this can and probably is very threatening to the ego.

oh, gotcha. tanks for sharing! I respect your privacy ☺️