Is cheating inevitable in a relationship with a male?

[Hojo]

The relationship is already over as you dont even know if your boyfriend loves you.

[RendHeaven]

On 4/23/2024 at 11:22 AM, Schizophonia said:

Generally, everyone here suffers from advanced mental retardation and random behavior

freaking love this guy lol

[Schizophonia]

6 hours ago, RendHeaven said:

freaking love this guy lol

I like you too, I saw a video of you recently and it looks like my alternative, more hypomanic and Asian version.

I want us to have a video debate against the pro vegans of the forum aka @undeather and @Michael569.
We will very partially name this live "CHAD meat eater rich in testosterone MOG two pro vegans"
“SPOIL ALERT, PLOT TWIST: Michael leaves in  RAGE and returns to eat vegetable sausages in the rain with his overweight Protestant English wife after being moped by Chad Valentin and his big brain fed on duck fat raised in the Périgord sun”

It would be fantastic.

[Israfil]

1 hour ago, Schizophonia said:

I like you too, I saw a video of you recently and it looks like my alternative, more hypomanic and Asian version.

I want us to have a video debate against the pro vegans of the forum aka @undeather and @Michael569.
We will very partially name this live "CHAD meat eater rich in testosterone MOG two pro vegans"
“SPOIL ALERT, PLOT TWIST: Michael leaves in  RAGE and returns to eat vegetable sausages in the rain with his overweight Protestant English wife after being moped by Chad Valentin and his big brain fed on duck fat raised in the Périgord sun”

It would be fantastic.

It never fails to amuse me how much you live up to your Alias.

 

[Raze]

On 4/22/2024 at 8:50 PM, LambChop said:

 

When my mother was in her fifties I found out that my dad was cheating on her with a younger woman, and it made me feel sick to my stomach. My mother had been nothing but supportive to him for over 25 years at that point. He lives on her paycheck, she agrees with literally everything he says, she cooks him dinner every other night, she visits his family more often than her own, she even gave him more attention than to her own children, and he still cheated because she grew old and conventionally unattractive. Her opinion on all this? "sigh...Men..."

It’s possible she had a muted reaction because she no longer wanted to sleep with her husband. This does happen with older couples who let their partner cheat because they prefer they meet desires elsewhere then pester them.

Edited April 25, 2024 by Raze

[fopylo]

11 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

I like you too, I saw a video of you recently and it looks like my alternative, more hypomanic and Asian version.

I want us to have a video debate against the pro vegans of the forum aka @undeather and @Michael569.
We will very partially name this live "CHAD meat eater rich in testosterone MOG two pro vegans"
“SPOIL ALERT, PLOT TWIST: Michael leaves in  RAGE and returns to eat vegetable sausages in the rain with his overweight Protestant English wife after being moped by Chad Valentin and his big brain fed on duck fat raised in the Périgord sun”

It would be fantastic.

💀

[Schizophonia]

On 25/04/2024 at 4:34 PM, Michael569 said:

have you forgotten to take your pills today ? @Schizophonia  

Yes.

@Sugarcoathas ate them.  

[Schizophonia]

On 25/04/2024 at 4:34 PM, Michael569 said:

have you forgotten to take your pills today ? @Schizophonia  

Also, @undeather proposed a debate several times, before revising himself each time for whatever reason.
So it’s also a little snub.  

 

Whatever.

[Sugarcoat]

12 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Yes.

@Sugarcoathas ate them.  

Nothing works on my fucked brain

[Schizophonia]

17 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

Nothing works on my fucked brain

If you heard the discussions from me or my mother, you would put things into perspective. 

More seriously, everything will be better soon, you'll see. 

 

[Sugarcoat]

@Schizophonia

 k ..

Edited April 26, 2024 by Sugarcoat

[Schizophonia]

Motivophonie 

[Egodeathrow]

I have had 4 relationships as a male and never cheated, I have been cheated on before though 

[Applegarden8]

And we arrive to the million dollar question, why people can't stay in a relationship as they would like to? Why don't they see the importance of commitment and communication, strange isn't it, while they are speedrunning to get married and procreate almost. A lot of them it seems, just to get divorced!

[Basman]

I believe that putting on weight is what makes a person look the most aged. Like a "middle aged mom" is typically a bit round and squat looking as opposed to slender and fit.

Staying healthy and fit and cultivating long-term relationships might be the best strategy for dealing with aging as far as I can tell.

Edited May 1, 2024 by Basman

[Breakingthewall]

The dilemma of love and sex is a very son of a bitch genetic trap. Its goal is not to make you happy but to keep you moving. Reality doesn't want happy couples, it wants competition and drama.

Every time I have been in a relationship I have seen that corrupt component and my option is: love and sex are separate things.

[Emerald]

I used to have a lot of these fears when I was in my 20s. And it's hell to think about it this way because it genuinely can feel like you're going to age out of lovability. And it creates this pressure to get all the love you can while you're still in your youthful years. And my identity was so wrapped up in this, that it was difficult to untangle.

I started worrying about aging when I was 16 years old... and the fears peaked in my late 20s.

Now I'm 35, and my perspective has shifted so much that I'm genuinely out of the woods with it... which I never thought I would be. I feel above it in most ways. It's like being able to see that the emperor has no clothes in a way.

I had similar feelings of anxiety as a kid. When I was like 8-10 years old, I used to worry that I wouldn't grow out of childish things like playing with toys. But once I got to be a tween/teenager, I wasn't even interested in toys anymore.

There are a few things that helped shift my paradigm most of all.

The first thing was to realize that I was projecting my dynamic with my mom onto men as a whole group. And one of my traumas was aging out of my connection with my mom... as we were very close until I was 8 and then the relationship became strained. And so, I transferred a lot of feelings about my mom onto boys and eventually onto men where I was trying to get the love where it felt impossible to get the love and that any love and admiration that I got from men would be lost with age.

The second thing was to see the vulnerability in men as they age. Young men are often not as conscious of this as young women are. But men want to love and be loved too. And they are really capable of loving a woman, even if you seem to see evidence online that they're not on all these alpha male podcasts. And that love extends far beyond looks... even if they are consciously fixated upon more lustful things and looks. Eventually, (usually by the mid-30s to early 40s at the latest) men start wanting to settle down and create families. But they have to first get past the fantasies of being the playboy first, if they have those. Otherwise, they will feel they're missing out. And men who end up leaving their wife in search of a very young woman are often trying to live out a fantasy that they feel will make their life somehow more fulfilling... usually to find that it doesn't scratch the itch.

The third thing was to find secure connections and be able to define my identity outside of being desirable to the male gaze. Honestly, the male gaze is not very meaningful if you know what really drives men to focus on women so much. So, a lot of the attention and adoration that women get from men comes from insecurity and wanting to be the masculine guy with the hot young women who are interested in him. So, it doesn't come from a very deep place when a man looks for a hot young woman. But men are capable of loving very deeply if they can get past this phase. Shame will tend to hang them up in this phase though... looking for the archetypal woman to validate him.

But most of all, getting to know mature men as friends is helpful in dispelling feelings like men aren't capable of loving and being attracted to a woman beyond youthful appearance. 

[PenguinPablo]

3 hours ago, Emerald said:

I used to have a lot of these fears when I was in my 20s. And it's hell to think about it this way because it genuinely can feel like you're going to age out of lovability. And it creates this pressure to get all the love you can while you're still in your youthful years. And my identity was so wrapped up in this, that it was difficult to untangle.

I started worrying about aging when I was 16 years old... and the fears peaked in my late 20s.

Now I'm 35, and my perspective has shifted so much that I'm genuinely out of the woods with it... which I never thought I would be. I feel above it in most ways. It's like being able to see that the emperor has no clothes in a way.

I had similar feelings of anxiety as a kid. When I was like 8-10 years old, I used to worry that I wouldn't grow out of childish things like playing with toys. But once I got to be a tween/teenager, I wasn't even interested in toys anymore.

There are a few things that helped shift my paradigm most of all.

The first thing was to realize that I was projecting my dynamic with my mom onto men as a whole group. And one of my traumas was aging out of my connection with my mom... as we were very close until I was 8 and then the relationship became strained. And so, I transferred a lot of feelings about my mom onto boys and eventually onto men where I was trying to get the love where it felt impossible to get the love and that any love and admiration that I got from men would be lost with age.

The second thing was to see the vulnerability in men as they age. Young men are often not as conscious of this as young women are. But men want to love and be loved too. And they are really capable of loving a woman, even if you seem to see evidence online that they're not on all these alpha male podcasts. And that love extends far beyond looks... even if they are consciously fixated upon more lustful things and looks. Eventually, (usually by the mid-30s to early 40s at the latest) men start wanting to settle down and create families. But they have to first get past the fantasies of being the playboy first, if they have those. Otherwise, they will feel they're missing out. And men who end up leaving their wife in search of a very young woman are often trying to live out a fantasy that they feel will make their life somehow more fulfilling... usually to find that it doesn't scratch the itch.

The third thing was to find secure connections and be able to define my identity outside of being desirable to the male gaze. Honestly, the male gaze is not very meaningful if you know what really drives men to focus on women so much. So, a lot of the attention and adoration that women get from men comes from insecurity and wanting to be the masculine guy with the hot young women who are interested in him. So, it doesn't come from a very deep place when a man looks for a hot young woman. But men are capable of loving very deeply if they can get past this phase. Shame will tend to hang them up in this phase though... looking for the archetypal woman to validate him.

But most of all, getting to know mature men as friends is helpful in dispelling feelings like men aren't capable of loving and being attracted to a woman beyond youthful appearance. 

very smart girl / human / whatever...