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I could not find a right title, and there are a billions of issues, due to the nature of what I went through and health, I have not been able to find anyone to help me with the issues since birth, and the ideas and solutions I have are mostly destroyed by the inability for humanity or the others; to be more spiritually insightful to get into the root cause, hence it's my responsibility to find a solution, I have been looking into archetypes based on the fundamental notions of some calculations and time, and time archetypes as I had some "chrone" types of experiences, and integral psychology the book creates, a lot of insight, but I feel and notice the doubt of humanity and the weight of that pain. I have been looking for stability with other, but the hypernarccistic expansion of perception and the in-abillity of the social structure of once here once was empathy has turned into a desire for capital money, gain and the denial the money and value is part of love, and the core issue of love. So many, things happend: I still ruminate suicide a lot, due to issues of thought and the pain I have since birth, but most psychologist are stuck in moder-post-modern levels of thinking from problems that stem from pre-rational to post-rational levels, and the pain of correcting or healing myself is awesome, but it's a lot of racist remnants from WWI and the effects of interacting with people here and their pain-body with Rudolf Steiner and Tesla, and other scientist how racist that era was, and how much violence has occurred, and the issue of the Ideation of race itself, d.n.a., turkey and Iran especially, their ideaology, the issue of color, and just my recent experiences. I got banned as I could not handle anymore my "coping" and the issue of being more social to be and get help, and that dragon swallowing you and devouring you etc. I found out that Leo's first name was part of Greeks Odyssee, with Alexander, Dimitri and Leo and the issue of Christ and religion and the whole issue with nature mystecism, the regress Ken Wilber was talking about and more patterns that I was correct, but could not express due to pain, especially as my first name is Dimitri, and I am using Wu-Xing generally speaking I had so many odd experiences and they all are Kriyas, I made to many excellent choices that turned into pure hell and purgatory, from multiple perspectives, the larger whole of what I yearn to say is: I found some answers if I will ever unify my psychedelic experiences and find possible terms and alternative terms or simply nothing to see and experience the credibility I found out a lot about humans; but I really required a forum or medium, so many things technically broke, as I learned and I found new patterns and ideas, but the core issue is the translation to put it into my understanding of Wilbers framework, and the core issues I had in my family, I yearned also to post this publically, as this was the only thing that gave me safety to the pain of the lies and the education of what I experienced with my mother, and her racist attitudes as well as inabillity to empathize due to them, like white liberals need white liberal training as they are in lie, they only seek lust, but can't find the meridian to turn lust and love into the purity of spirit, soul and evolution... most black men and I am partially black and others do that, and that level of commitment and depth goes to the deepest levels of rumi.... I found some answers in terms of order and vision, but the issue of the scientific paradigm and statistics, especially and worldviews since the 19th hundreds has internally not changed for me in my friendships, especially recently they have all been part of that and I had very deep revelations of the nature of spirit, but to read the symbolic holism and integrative hierachy behind it, as well as mastering integral language, as the more deeper you get I am 100% confinced that Lucifer and Ahriman did incarnate from this Paul Check video, and that fundamentally caused the issue with Iran. It's the deepst archetypal hunch I have due to this IW/IR patterning and the synchronicity of the time and birth of my favorite book integral psychology as many answers are applied, I cry so often, I can't even get to the notes due to the level of insights that pattern alone created the notes and last sections or Ken Wilber himself is a very deep IW/IR integrative patterning from BaZi. Science has to advanced into the true spirit of the causal, Steiner etc. to reinterpret that without their statistical bias, and the lack of scientific rigour ever since latin and greek disappeared bothers me deeply ever since I lived here, the lack of integration in that space, especially to let go and cleanse out pain is incredible. Btw, this is the best channel I found for meditation recently, I am very much done with stuff, but I yearn to understand Gödel, Nikola Tesla, Lada Love Lace, and some secret societies and orders, to take the esoteric and see what was exotertically true, and some mathematical allegories eventually, if I can get into 4d space downloads and insights, and the core issue of being a passionate mathematician, identity, and the current issue of our times. I'd like to report I went through so much, this place has been the only refuge I had, when society is utterly crumbling, but integral is building some human space to heal from that era, tbh. I am personally as a German not over WWII Shinzen and others telling me about the traditions as they are afraid they die, and the anger as well as compassion for and with Iran, and I've been using BaZi and Steiner as a lense, as the Wu-Xing, Goethe etc. are interconnected, but to write with that purity and the issue of IW/IR I saw what happens with Wilber, myself and my aunt, God will bend you, God will break you, and your will is your will. YOU ARE ONE. That is the entire issue I go through let alone with my own real names, how far they echo back into eternity, and the issues of how many traditions have realized GOD, has brought nothing back or stabilizing it. The only thing humanity should to is to stabilize god, and reduce violence and heal. The level of commitment and what I envisioned and if it's true, but most issues I had are more survival especially as a lot of trust in humanity has been broken, and a lot of things deepended on this pattern, but it turned so evil. I want, there are a lot of issues, due to success, and the issue of GOLD as well as the issue of beauty and GOD, Goethe and GOD and the interconnections, but I will make this a brief recollcetion!

I found him amusing during the covid lockdowns ( 🫣😳 I used to leave ancient aliens on the tv to keep the dogs company when I was outside) but for someone who was advocating for the Ra materials ( law of one), when he said he didn’t believe in paradox I realised he hadn’t got a clue what the ‘one’ was, aka not awake and possibly delusional. His egotism grew worse until last year I think it was, he complained that he had a parasitic entity in his eye and the government or cabal were after him and his health began to deteriorate before he shot himself after claiming publicly he would never commit suicide he pushed the q anon conspiracy even after the creators of it admitted it was a hoax.

Time to get some Red examples going up in here. Try to find some healthy ones too. Red is all too easy to demonize. List of Stage Red Values: Personal power, strength, might, brute force Displays of toughness Brazen courage, valor, heroism, daring Being the boss, being #1, winning at all costs Conquering one’s enemies, domination The thrill of conquest Warrior mentality, a glorious death, heroic deeds Competitive, crush your opponents Resolving disputes with ruthless force Winning, victory, conquest, triumph against odds Ambition, playing it big Revenge Respect Loyalty Decisiveness, assertiveness Passion, action Pragmatic, direct, no-nonsense Taking initiative & ownership, personal willpower Getting things done, just do it Unilateral control, executive power Glitz, ostentatious displays, grandiosity Wants to be bigger than life Status, recognition of prowess Machismo, pride, bragging Charisma, plain talk Intimidation, manipulation, exploitation Sexual conquest & exploitation Sex as power and vanity, sadistic sex Enjoying life to the fullest Adventure, thrill-seeking, living boldly Power contests, like slapping/arm-wrestling Breaking rules, finding loop holes Breaking with the pack & pushing the envelope Stage Red Examples: Trump, Saddam Hussein, Iraq, Syria, Hitler, Stalin, Liberia, Somalia, North Korea, Myanmar, Turkmenistan, Haiti, Africa, Middle East, Palestine, warlords, mafia, Tony Soprano, Al Capone, pirates, marauders, gangs, Yakuza, violent prisoners, prison culture, freedom fighters, revolutionaries, criminals, rapists, con artists, thieves, terrorists, juvenile delinquents, ancient Rome, gladiator combat, Caligula, Nero, Roman emperors, spartan, Chinese emperors, Japanese emperors, Alexander the Great, Achilies, Klingons, hackers, toxic narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths, lone shooters, Conan the Barbarians, Joe Pesci from Casino, Russian mob, toxic masculinity / Red Pill, vikings, Genghis Khan, Mongol hordes, drug addicts, gamblers, criminal underground, war criminals, massacres, torture, rape gangs, wild rock stars, Jules from Pulp Fiction, Joffery from GoT, Ramsey from GoT, Cersie from GoT, Dothraki from GoT, the Joker, cult leaders like Jim Jones & Charles Manson, David Koresh, Aztec human sacrifice, pimps, hustlers, prostitutes, sex trafficking, brothels, strippers, porn stars, violent porn, snuff films, king’s harems, absolute monarchs, feudalism, heads on pikes, Vlad the Impaler, crucifixion, cutting off body parts, cruel & unusual punishment, villains in movies, bullies, colonial exploitation, sweat shops, slavery, wild west, Terminator, Rambo, throwing objects when angry, cocaine, heroine, crack, meth users, suicide bombers, lesser Jihad, ISIS, domestic violence, MMA / UFC, boxing, Mike Tyson, Don King, Connor McGregor, bank robbers, the tyrannical boss, bribery, bling, gold teeth & chains, the hood, drive-by shootings, bloodsport, cock fighting, dog fighting, animal cruelty, sports fights, pro wrestling, movie Lord of War, Alex Jones, L Ron Hubbard, David Miscavige, 9/11, Oklahoma City bombing, some incels, some pickup, Jeffy rape van, Kanye dragon energy, rap music, heavy metal music, punk music, Mexican drug cartels, El Chapo, Grand Theft Auto game, graffiti, No Country For Old Men, Old Testament, Sith from Star Wars, Fight Club, A Clockwork Orange, Dan Pena, hunting homeless people for sport, Black Panthers, KKK, Machiavelli, women as property

Previous chapters: spiritual tinnitus. *Old man Jenkins voice* How long has it been? Fifty years? Certainly feels that way. Like I've lived a few lifetimes in the past few years. I've been exploring the wild and revelatory vicissitudes of being human, embracing human needs and human obligations. More than half of my twenties was spent avoiding being human, i.e. spiritual bypassing. I used Leo's content, this forum, psychedelics, a whole 'lotta books, and even food to avoid the confusing, difficult world of human affairs. The main remedy that pulled me out of my spiritual circus was renting my own house. I have a host of different responsibilities and adulting things that I need to stay on top of. Survival has stared me straight in the face, and I stare back with equal reluctance and resolve. I literally cannot afford to sulk anymore. The past couple of years have been a test of the "Divine Masculine," I guess I could say. Pressing on when metaphorical weights were tied to my ankles. Developing a work ethic. Managing rejection. Believing in myself when the people around me were doubting. Having a willingness to take risks and look like a fool. Solidifying my sense of purpose. I'm proud to say that at age 30, I have finally found "my thing." My zone of genius. It's been staring me in the face for ten years, but I've been fighting it every step of the way. "There's no money in music," the average Joe says. "It's a competitive industry. Keep your day job. Music is nowhere near impactful as being a teacher, a healer, a therapist, or really anything else." Yadda yadda yadda. To a certain degree, that's all valid. But I've reached a point in my life where doing anything other than what I'm good at and feel passionate about feels like a waste of time. So if it means going the starving artist path, then so fucking be it. Fortunately, it hasn't been so bad. I've been blessed in so many twisted and peculiar ways. For instance, I was Instacarting at the time of the shooting in 2021, and consequently, the CEO gave me free mental health services as well as a large sum of money. I ended up saving all of that money, so by the time I made my way back home, I had a fat stack to invest in something. Someone offered to rent me an entire house with all of the amenities for a killer rate, and I accepted. I then used all of that saved money to invest in acoustic treatment, a new laptop, plugins, furniture, etc. for a music studio. Be Light Studio unfolded so serendipitously that looking back feels a bit surreal. Since then, I have been teaching myself music production and plan to start an LLC once I get my ducks in a row. I've spent the past year self-producing an album, and as of a few days ago, I finished it. I plan to release it in Mid-October. In between the album, a number of locals have asked me to produce their music, so I already have a growing clientele. For a while, I doubted the whole thing, reverting to my idea of becoming a healer/therapist as I already have a couple of certifications. But joining an orientation zoom call for a master's degree in counseling, I knew immediately that I would hate myself if I pursued that path. Turns out that I've been using those aptitudes in other ways. Maybe I'll write about that in another post. For the past few years, I've worked part-time at a local juice bar. But thanks to all of the live gigs I've managed to book, I am now officially financially independent. I have to live like a monk, but I'm wealthy in freedom. I never thought I'd reach this point. In most of the other parallel realities, I am likely dead by active or passive suicide. But in this reality I'm pursuing my passions and making money from them. Go figure! I could say more, but I don't want this post to be too long, and I need to get my day started. But I feel drawn back to this forum because I feel that in the midst of all of this human stuff, I've lost the plot. I've hit a level of burnout that I've never experienced before, which has caused me to backslide in my habits. I've become addicted to my own adrenaline release, whether with chronic Youtube content consumption, my right hand, or late bedtimes. While I've achieved so much in the past couple of years, I feel like I've lost myself in the process. I've lost that zest to learn more, to push myself towards higher virtue, to stay above the noise. I guess I have a case of spiritual tinnitus. So it's time to turn down the volume on distraction. My hope is that writing, whether here or in my own journal, will get me back on track. My goals for this off-season (i.e. fewer gigs and more time to myself): Replace mindless Youtube content consumption with audiobooks, books, journaling, and songwriting Either write one song or learn one cover song per week Continue working on clients' projects Transition from using my right hand with a screen, to using my right hand without one, to ideally using my right hand only once per week at most Re-acquire my stretching habit and begin to myofascially release my god-awful posture from too much guitar playing Acquire a regular aerobics habit (likely long walks) Re-acquire a regular strength training habit At least eight hours of rest every night, with an ideal bedtime of 10pm and wakeup at 7am I have other goals and more to say, but for now, this will suffice. To anyone who is curious enough to read this — I wish you well!

- Feel free to comment, ask questions, give unasked advice, use this post for resources, etc. ( all under your own risk and judgement ) Basically, the idea is that I'll be documenting and sharing my journey of chelation. I'm a noob for now, but I expect to gather a decent chunk of understanding throughout this year. This has been on my to do list for over a year now, and I've been motivated recently by Leo dropping the long awaited episode on chelation released for my birthday ?. Sadly, the episode is not as detailed as I'd like it to be and I'm afraid he may have forgotten some crucial information. But if there is time to whine, there is time to roll up my digital sleeves and get to work and research. Let's hope my journal doesn't end up being a Brian Bander's Suicide note 2.0 (RIP)

Sure, being a psychotic with major depression is also being, but we are talking of the possibilities of the human mind. Enlightenment is a real possibility of human mind, also being addicted to methamphetamine is another possibility. The difference is about the openess of the focus of the mind. Being obsessed with methamphetamine and having sex with your dog is being and the reality, exactly than anything else, but you (yes "you") as a mind that is a incredible deep procces that is happening, can be open to another level of existence. Nobody is going to give you a medal and a diploma, you could commit suicide if you want, but as we are alive we want to be in all our potential, just because that's the drive of reality

@Basman awesome! I did that too! I actually saw all kinds of monsters and I discovered that if I focus on the monster closely and don't close my eyes, I can will the monster to fade away and become nothing. If I close my eyes, then I start feeling pressure on my body and sometimes it feels like hands wrapping around my arms. Some of the monsters I saw included the following. Shadow figures, mechanical clowns but oddly not the one from poltergeist that most assume, ghosts, my grandma as a vampire, general grievous from Star wars which actually looked terrifying when you see that thing for real but he then transformed into the door near my bed, a redead from the legend of zelda who I escaped by flying out of my body and into a zelda like dungeon except this one had an elephant in it, and a demonic symbol with my sister smiling at me along with another nightmare with my sister storming into my room angrily. I remember one of the shadow figures looked like a girl from school who grabbed my penis and the nightmare was about her coming to my bed while I couldn't move. Meanwhile, my older sister would often yell, scream, and badger me for hours on end to the point that I would freeze, shock, have nightmares, and so forth as I tried walking on eggshells to prevent catastrophe. Sometimes I talk in my sleep. I started talking about Cindy who died by suicide. I also noticed that I can consciously control my dreams by forcing myself awake by focusing my awareness on my eyelids while noticing that I am still seeing images despite my eyelids being closed. Alternatively, I can start rewinding my dreams and going back in time to earlier parts in it which delays it enough for new content to pop up. I ended up in the Simpsons in one of these dreams. It kind of looked like that arcade game with bart doing a long essay. I also remember a really fun one in which I played the role of Sherlock Holmes, working together with Harry Potter to defeat Darth Vader. Sometimes I would go back in time or reload to the previous checkpoint when I was losing. In the end we defeated Darth vader by collapsing a building as Harry summoned his broomstick, allowing us to jump on and escape. I do remember there was a really annoying level with Malfoy though who had dementors helping him and that part was a pain in the ass which required going back to previous checkpoints to make sure I clicked the buttons at the right time. I also had this other epic zelda like dream in which I was fighting these mutant insects with fire swords. There was a gold skulltula in it, but the best part is when I figured out how to beat the game. Once I got to the main villain, he said "if you want to stop them, then you need to hit pause." My girlfriend was like "hit pause? What is this some kind of videog-" Then a pause menu came up and I scrolled down to quit. I selected quit. Then I woke up. There was also this epic dream in which I fought the British who were red coats on unicycles with assault rifles in attack formation. I used a flamethrower on one of them. Eventually I ran away and one of them got my flamethrower. He then started chasing me while shooting fire at me yelling "get back here you bloody bastard!" Eventually I got away from though. Many of my comrades were lost in that brutal battle. I felt like I was going to pee myself, but I woke up in time to go to the bathroom. There was also this really epic one in which my high school principal tried to execute me because the second paragraph of my essay sucked so badly that I was a dishonor to my school and I deserved to die for the bad paragraph on my essay. I woke up flailing my arms and legs and then I whited out the second paragraph for fear that my teacher would ruin my life over confessing my love for Alice. The essay prompt was to write about people who inspire you, so I wrote about someone who makes life feel meaningful but was afraid I would be hanged for it.

You have no gut to die, so totally normal. Enlightenment is not your or mine priority, it is a suicide mission. Go understand, experience God, infinite, with Leo and explain how beautiful it is, which is your priority 😆

I'm curious. Does solipsism mean it won't affect anyone? Is there a soul, progress lost? How bad is it overall? Or can it be good? What if you're a human working on polarity vs a wanderer here to help, or is that outside Leo's scope? I have my own views as Bashar, but am curious.

I AM GOD! I AM CREATING EVERYTHING! ABSOLUTELY TOTAL! ABSOLUTELY SOVEREIGN! ABSOLUTE INSANITY! God is loving this reality. God doesn't care whether the human dies or not. However, suicide is a deception. God wants to experience and it designed the human experience. I'm hallucinating this human experience! I was able to awaken myself and go back to being human instantly. I tested that multiple times while tripping. Leo! I created you to remind me that I can wake up. God is a genius bastard. So much happened during the trip that I'm unable to write as of now! It was infinitely insane! I ate a cannabis gummy three hours after I consumed 150 mg N,N-DPT orally. It contained 5 mg THC, 5 mg CBD, and 5 mg CBG. My insane trip began 20-30 minutes after cannabis consumption. The peak lasted for two hours. But I'm still tripping. Almost all of my psychedelic experiences, although I've done very little before, are a joke compared to what I've experienced now. Ideas of psychedelic experiences are also a joke after you have an experience. Ideas of it will probably become an obstacle eventually without serious experience. Meditation will never, at least to me, be able to reveal something like that. My whole being wants to align with that experience. I feel a strong desire to emulate it.

Thought are part of the process that we call "I", same as breath. Then in "I", the human procces, there is a center that predicts and decides. This center, the self, is real, it's a process that is happening that have neurological structures created by evolution. That self sees itself as a subject that perceives objects. You could say that all this is a model of the reality created by the brain, but it's also real. Maybe it's been created, but anything else is been created by the relative interactions that finds the way that's possible just because it's possible. The external world is no more real than the mind, both are the reality being created by the relationship between states that overlap in a coherent and stable way, creating increasingly complex patterns. one of them is, for example, a star, another a mind. They are both real. If a subject arises in that mind who can hold his breath or commit suicide, that subject is as real as anything else.

The funny thing is body born for help, some with kind words, some with money wise help, some with curse. Yet for me, doesn't really fucking matter. Because, You guys are all one. Identical. But the mask attached with @Leo Gura, @cetus and you @Inliytened1 are wearing spiritual charlatan costumes. Some people even suicide due to reach this bullshit higher consciousness because of @Leo Gura This is not mine, but body and mind's altercation and reaction to worldy reality. But, at the same time I really don't give a fuck. Edit: actually, you @Inliytened1, you are good person.

I've been psychotic myself and it landed me in jail so if I were you I would work very hard on training your consciousness before thinking of quitting your medication. Be extremely careful with it and work on grounding mechanisms as you are basically betting your life on this. How it works is you have to deconstruct your reality and what you even are and watch out for your human self. You have to prioritize your safety over any type of realizations or phenomena that you experience. Now that you know what psychosis feels like you should be able to control it much easier. Ask yourself these questions, even if you do hear your family's voices in your head why does that really impact your daily life? Why did you try to commit suicide on the road? Thinking about your mom while masturbating is clearly a very unplesant thought but it shouldn't distabilize you enough that you run on the street naked. Watch some sigmund freud videos on Youtube and realize the mind is a very weird thing and it imagines all kinds of weird concepts literally pehaps all weird concepts imaginable. I've thought about my dad shitting before and what if I'm attracted to my dad since I'm bisexual and I told my mind to cut it out with the weird thoughts I don't want to think about this and it works over time. Don't reject your thoughts but don't let your mind rule you also. It's so common for gay or bisexual conservatives to flip the fuck out and violently prosecute or antaganonize LGBTQ people for example because they judge their own urges and mind. Just accept it and move on but also train yourself to have control over it. Thoughts are not actions, it's not because you have any kind of thought that it has to lead to you taking an action. Sit down and really ponder it over especially if it's gonna lead to some major consequenences that reality has to make happen for you to be coherent and tangible. The fact that you are blaming the medication for making you obese is not a good sign of ultimate agency and control of the mind. It's not because a substance makes you really hungry and low energy that you should stuff your face. Of course it's difficult but the low agency road to life leads in poor results whether you are on anti-psychotic medications or not. Also better anti psychotics are coming out all the time so it's unnessary to take the risk of going off of them. If you wait 10 years you will have even better therapy and better meds available. I told my buddy one time to go off his anti psychotics and just meditate and he landed in the psych ward a few days after so I don't really advise that anymore.

My mother overdosed to death when I was 5. This has been a deeply ingrained imprint in my psyche. I'm now 24, NEET and shut-in for the majority of the past 8 years. I find myself wanting to follow in her footsteps. Suicide has long been a fantasy for me, it's the only imagined future I find solace and believability it. I simply do not want to work, I do not and can not exert strain on my mental and physical system. I've walked out of four jobs thus far, all of them because of a culmination of stress and future oriented dread. Before I was prescribed my adhd medication in my 20s my depression got to such a level where my skin was growing layers of dirt I could scratch off, only after my prescription did I get the kick to my system to get the 4 aforementioned jobs (all in retail). I really just feel like I'm not on the same level as other humans functionally and this is an intrinsic part of my life. Just extreme brain and psychological damage from my gestation and formative years. I realised Oneness, me as the Godhead as the Universe dreaming me on LSD and DMT last year. So I can't buy into the "after death is a nothing void forever" cop out. And even tho I've learnt a lot more forgiveness towards other people I still don't know how to relate to others when interacting with them, I've just only ever derived trauma and discomfort in my interactions with others and we never are on the same footing in regards to our values and interests and sensibilities. I'm just so not built for physical survival, every movement of my being is averse to practicality, health and prudence. I find myself wanting to extricate myself from being a leech on my aunt and uncle and just go homeless and see how I fare, it might give me the sober urgency I need to get my life in order or maybe I'll find I don't mind it, homelessness runs in the family anyway. I don't know what I'm looking for here, advice I guess. I know outsourcing responsibility on how to decide my life is counter to the ethos of this site but I'm just not that guy... The mental health system on this island has also been terrible, I was even in the psych ward for a few weeks and couldn't get seen by any psychologist because they're just too shortstaffed all around. Any therapy I've tried has been trite lifestyle advice I was already implementing at the time and there's just a preoccupation with diagnosing over investigating.

I mean, you can dissuade them if you don't want them to commit suicide. But pointing to very general and abstract individual beliefs they hold to explain their proximity to suicide is a game of statistical whack-a-mole. Is the belief in an afterlife causing suicides? What about the belief that nothing happens after you die and it's just a blank nothingness? What about reincarnation? What about "everything is love"?

If you actually read what Nahm wrote to SoonHei in the quoted PMs, he pointed to the idea that you can't really use "life is a dream" to conclude that taking your life is a preferable action over simply honoring life, and that acting in such a way would be based on a misunderstanding. And remember, people in the "Leo runs a cult" videos want to draw the same connection that you're doing now, that even engaging on the idea that "life is a dream" is already too far and is causing suicides. It seemingly doesn't help to actively dissuade someone against suicide without simultaneously lying that "no in fact, life cannot be said to be a dream in any way, forget that you ever thought that, forget that we ever said that".

Neo-advaitans don't believe what they say, they wouldn't say it if they did because 'there's nobody' to say it to. It's just an attempt to bypass therapy and an aversion to some nagging issue they have, it's intentional dissociation from life - that absolutely fosters suicide, it's toxic and psychosis inducing. Neo-advaita isn't even spiritual, it's similar to prosperity preaching.

I don't believe that platitudes are responsible for the suicide . . at best it was probably neutral and didn't changed the outcome.

@Carl-Richard That Nahm dude cannot be defended. He replied with non-dual platitudes to someone that was seriously about to commit suicide. And that someone did commit suicide in the end. I'm not saying Nahm was responsible. But he was clearly unwise and irresponsible.

A bit of background about me: I was born and raised in Somalia. I used to watch Leo since I was 14/15. I moved to the UK about three years ago. I lost my brother due to suicide two years ago. I have left islam and I'm not sure whether I'll be able to stay in the UK or not. I have been doing deep research on how I can take my life painlessly. I have no family around. Everything feels meaningless. I didn't think it’d get to this point three year ago. You'd be surprised how ambitious and hard-working I was. I'm in pain and just want to go. I know it’s a cowardly thing to do, but the world isn't nice and we're all going to die anyways.

If I would have to bet my money on it, I would bet that Connor, during those last 6 years, was more happy than the average person. I don't think it was a suicide. I think it's likely that his death was actually caused by not enough neuroticism rather than too much.

Y'all better strap up cause this is one of the craziest experiences I've had in the game so far and I don't mean that in a positive way. First and foremost: I'm so done dealing with these girls, man. Not only does dating take time away from my purpose and self-actualization journey, but the quality of women that I'm meeting are not even worth the sacrifice. There's always something fucked. Either she has multiple children at a very young age, or we're incompatible in our love-languages, or the sex is terrible, or she's just blatantly irresponsible, or she has some mental issue or crazy STI, or whatever. There's always something! But this last situation takes the cake for one of the WORST experiences I've had in the dating game in the last 10 years, no joke. Funny thing is that I took the entirety of June off from dating in order to reground myself and build a lifestyle that felt good for me independent of outside forces. Come July, I decided to get back in the game again with this new foundation established and literally the FIRST girl I get involved with leaves me completely traumatized! STORY-TIME -- literally shaking while I'm typing this -- Met this lady through daygame on the 1st of July. It was a short interaction where I found out that she was visiting my city from a nearby country because she wanted to check out the vibes and decide if she wanted to move here. She's beautiful, petite, in the mood for an adventure with the possibility of something more if she decides to stay, so "Sweet," I thought. We exchanged numbers and made plans to see each other this weekend when I would show her around the city. Unexpectedly, however, we spontaneously met later on that same day, after a little bit of texting, and she ended up spending the night (no sex, though, she was a virgin so we decided not to rush it). Fast forward a couple days and I end up seeing this girl yesterday again but this time I spent the night at her hotel and also spent a good chunk of today with her, too. The vibe was very sexual, romantic, sweet, cuddly, adventurous, open, vulnerable, etc. I wasn't even thinking about sex much because we were having so much chemistry together. Awesome, right? Well.. come to find out, this girl migrated to my city because her family basically disowned her, she has no friends, has a pending court date because she amassed MASSIVE debt due to using credit cards to buy shit for herself without the intention of ever paying it back, has stolen her parents' car without having a driver's license, has no money nor ANYWHERE that she could possibly go after she checks out at her hotel -- which basically means she might end up homeless yet seems very unbothered about that -- and keeps joking around that she wants to get married and have babies together. As I progressively learned more and more of the above points of interest, I went from empathetic, to sympathetic, to worried about her, to then suspicious of her, then straight up afraid that I may have ended up with a girl who is looking to move in with me, to horrified that I am dealing with a very unstable person -- that last part, I came to when I excused myself to the bathroom this morning to rub one out in order to harness the divine wisdom of post nut clarity. We had plans to spend the whole day together exploring different free festivals in the city but it was becoming obvious that this isn't a girl that I want to get super involved with but that I also couldn't just let her fend for herself. I literally had to reprimand her multiple times about the fact that she's not taking her situation seriously and that she should be coming up with a plan for what the hell she's gonna do when her checkout date (tomorrow, on sunday) comes! I did a shit ton of research on her behalf to find woman-friendly shelters and various organizations that could help her. When I finally came up with a plan for her, I took her back to her hotel room pre-maturely and basically let her know that this aint gonna work out but I wanna help her by accompanying her to the shelter and assisting her in getting in contact with the right people. She denied my offer, understandably, because she was hurt that I didn't want to be with her and after a fucking hour of trying to comfort her enough so that we can discuss the VERY URGENT PRACTICAL MATTERS AT HAND, I decided that we weren't getting anywhere and I should just leave and go home -- which I did -- only to receive a suicide note in the form of a whatsapp message from her, saying that she's gonna hurt herself and wishing me the best! Holy %$^# shit. Now I'm freaking out. I call the police, asap, and give them whatever info they need to intervene before anything happens to her. After 20 minutes, they call me and they start asking me very specific questions about "my side of the story" and I'm getting a weird vibe from the officer. He's asking me where I live, my social security number, the nature of my relationship with this girl, the extend of our physical intimacy, etc. And I'm thinking to myself now "ah, shit... what did this crazy girl say to the police, man.." Anyway, I know I didn't do anything wrong so I answer truthfully and then ask the officer if there's any way he can assist the girl by getting her to a shelter or something. He's like "Nah, dude, we're police officers not Green Peace" (he didn't say that, but that was basically the subtext behind his words). Anyway, we hang up and now this girl is blowing up my phone freaking out about me calling the police on her, me not wanting to be with her, accusing me of manipulating her, then begging me to come back to her hotel and talk, then she switches back to anger and accusations and I'm like "Dude... What. The. Fuck. Did. I. Get. Involved. With." I'm leaving a lot out because I could write a whole paper on the events that transpired but I basically ended up having to block her because she kept fucking texting and calling me. Before I did, though, I did send her all the info that she needs to find shelter and get help in case she does end up homeless. And now here I am, in the peace of quiet of my room, with my cortisol levels spiked to infinity and contemplating my entire life. I literally took a break from all dating and socializing in order to ground myself in love and build a life that fulfills me, which I successfully did, and the MOMENT I come back to the game, this shit happens. I'm so upset, man! I'm seriously contemplating staying single for life at this point. Women may have brought out the best in me in the past and have been present during some of the best experiences of my life, but they have also been responsible for some of the absolute WORST and now that I have experienced the level of fulfillment that is possible when one is just doing their own thing in isolation, it makes no sense to risk ever dealing with shit like this again in the future. If you read this far: Thank you, so much. I needed a listening ear.

Who is to say they aren't the ones who will lead to your downfall? Why would you believe in psychiatrists? They are ideologically captured by the state. They do not serve you; they unconsciously serve the organism that maintains society. -- If Connor was doing so many drugs, it's because he was looking to die and melt into nothing. He suffered. It’s not because he didn’t look like a cliche suicidal and depressive person that he wasn’t one. To me, it’s quite clear he was longing to die and finally succeeded. You don’t need to take a bunch of direct killing pills to attempt suicide. What he was doing was a slow call for death because he never ever healed from the trauma of not being enough.

Right now, I have no wounds whatsoever. It felt painful before awakening to my true nature and during the process. But those were healed as awareness crept in—I could sense how the pain subsided. I did not have to heal myself—the higher level of consciousness did that for me. And I remember how much pain I was in before starting to meditate: Toxic shame, insecurity, no discipline whatsoever, and unable to keep a basic job. I was addicted to social media, junk food, weed, and so forth. All that had to go away, or my life would have been ruined. While it is true that I sacrificed my ego and other forms of pleasure, that doesn't mean I lost something. Because the bliss of awareness is much more enjoyable than anything in the world or of the ego. I'm not saying that all people should do what I did; I am only saying that force was necessary sometimes, and that it's no easy game to overcome the ego. And the way I see it now is that it's not a tragedy or something bad that happened to me. I see it as a little bit of ego an struggle. That's it. And that's true, Elliott. For some people, because they struggle with heavy mental health issues, they will experience horrible side effects as a result of meditating. But they can be transcended and eventually healed. I went through that because I come from both families with harsh intergenerational trauma. My grandfather committed suicide.

Nope 60-70 BBC https://www.bbc.com Do we really live longer than our ancestors? Back in 1994 a study looked at every man entered into the Oxford Classical Dictionary who lived in ancient Greece or Rome. Their ages of death were compared to men listed in the more recent Chambers Biographical Dictionary. Of 397 ancients in total, 99 died violently by murder, suicide or in battle. Of the remaining 298, those born before 100BC lived to a median age of 72 years. Those born after 100BC lived to a median age of 66. (The authors speculate that the prevalence of dangerous lead plumbing may have led to this apparent shortening of life). 2026 The median age of death across Africa roughly mirrors the continent's overall life expectancy at birth, which stands at approximately 64 years. However, the media The average life expectancy in Africa is approximately 64.2 years. While this is a major increase from 53 years in 2000, it remains over