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Depression is the superlative case of repression. Repression = pushing away (emotional) pain. With each bit of pain that is repressed, a bit of your wholeness and sense of meaning and authentic desire goes with it. Therefore when there is too much to repress, you lose most of the sense of meaning and desire that is inherent to being an alive human. The way out of depression is to choose to feel more of what is repressed, thereby lifting the depression. Some depressed people are actually really angry, but unable to cope with that and process that fully, so hence they are depressed. Other common feelings are sadness, grief and hopelessness. The less you push these away, the more you will feel. The more you feel, the more emotional pain you feel, but also the less depressed you are. And after feeling the pain, bliss and insight follows. That's not to say that you can just make that decision from any situation. Repression is there for a reason. Are you currently in a condition to handle emotional pain? Is your life stable? Do you have the time, space and guidance needed? If not, then the first thing to do is to go get that. Set your life up in a way that makes it possible to process some repressed feelings in a safe way. If that means working a day less at your job, do that. If it means temporarily removing yourself from a toxic family system that doesn't accept and hold space for your feelings, cutting off contact and going to live on a friend's couch, do that. If it means getting a therapist, coach or mentor, do that. If it means reaching out to a friend even though it's hard, do that.

Assuming Buddha and Christ actually existed, I agree totally. My issue is that it is really easy to misunderstand the Buddha. If you interpret him as the goal being to eliminating all suffering, then you also eliminate all that is good about life as a natural consequence. That is what I was saying he was wrong about if in fact he meant it in the way I interpreted it. All I am saying is that I realized for myself is that it is okay to feel other emotions besides happiness. It is okay to let yourself feel frustrated when you don’t perform your best. In fact, I suggest that being happy with a poor performance in life is a reinforcer to repeat bad performances. If you are happy doing drugs, you will continue to do them, but if you are mad at yourself for doing them, that could be what you need to bring about a change in you. People can easily turn Buddhism into a trap where they want to let go of all their attachments, desires, and dreams, and strive to have no emotion other than happiness, contentment, and bliss. But the issue is that the Buddha’s teachings on attachment for instance and suffering, don’t seem to me like they apply to the majority of people today. I hear a lot of people say to me that if they followed the Buddha, they wouldn’t care, and that hit me because I realized that the reason why I studied philosophy, and why I excelled at all the things I excelled at were because I cared. I still loved myself and was loved what I did, but my perfectionism showed how much I cared about being good at the skills I cared about. Maybe this is my misunderstanding of Buddha’s teachings and if so, I guarantee I am not alone. For instance, I do agree with Buddha about striving to live in the Now, but the thing is that if you go all the way with any teaching, it will stunt you and become a trap. Living in the Now is always a reality for you whether you are thinking about future or not. All teachings need nuance. Meditation is good, but like I said, at some point you gotta get off the mat and learn how to meditate when you are in the moment of suffering. Suffering is eliminated not by avoiding it and emotional fakery and toxic positivity, but it is rather “eliminated” when you no longer perceive suffering as suffering. That is my take on it at this point anyways. I appreciate your all’s thoughts and feedback so far.

His insight is valuable. In my younger years between 15-25 years old this mindset helped me out a lot. It helped me prove my value to myself and deal with certain dark moments in my life. So its an admirable mindset to seek to achieve and if someone wants to take this path I won't fault them. I just know in the end that is not where happiness comes from, joy, bliss, etc. The key to joy, bliss, etc, comes from within. I'm satisfied right now in the present moment. If you aren't satisfied you are looking in the wrong direction. I’ve often said that I wish people could realize all their dreams and wealth and fame, so that they could see that it’s not where they’re gonna find their sense of completion. Like many of you, I was concerned about going out into the world and doing something bigger than myself, until someone smarter than myself made me realize that there is nothing bigger than myself. My soul is not contained within the limits of my body, my body is contained within the limitlessness of my soul. - Jim Carey

Here’s an insight I just had on a run and it’s this. If you aren’t frustrated with yourself for being mediocre then you’re doing it wrong. If you are happy with being mediocre then you are reinforcing mediocrity in your life. The Buddha is wrong the goal is not to eliminate suffering, it is to learn how to bear it with it and use it to grow yourself to success. Think about it if you were completely happy and didn’t suffer and weren’t frustrated with being mediocre then you would be mediocre. You will become whatever you are content with. If you are satisfied with playing video games all day and don’t feel anything wrong with that, then you will never level up. Without suffering there could be no growth and no success. Think of any person you think is highly developed. David Goggins, Sadhguru, Alan Watts, Leo Gura, Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, or whoever. The common theme is they are all not content with being mediocre. If they followed the teachings of Buddha or Christ to be satisfied with themselves, then they would have never leveled up in life. This comes from my personal experience. I excel at anything I really care about whether that’s tennis, trumpet, or whatever. With caring comes suffering. But suffering is good. Attachment is good. It is good to be attached to things that deeply matter such as your vision for your life. If I followed the Buddha, I would have never excelled at anything. Yes, I got mad at myself for failure, yes I suffered, but what is a good life without suffering? It’s counterintuitive. The good life isn’t infinite bliss, it is falling in love with life, which means to set challenges for yourself, fail, and to suffer. The good life is falling in love with suffering, not trying to get rid of it. That’s the key point. I could not be attached, not care about my results, but the fact is, you aren’t going to enjoy your life if you don’t care about it or the results. Your life is always happening now. Fall in love with the Now always because that is where you live, but that is no excuse to not care, not plan, and not have a vision. It is paradox to be in the Now while also being a Visionary. You have to know the right balance for you to be at your 100%. If you aren’t at 100%, it is okay to not be satisfied. Always love yourself, but never be satisfied if you aren’t living up to your fullest. That is also a paradox as well. How do I love myself if you are telling me to not be satisfied with myself for being mediocre? Because the highest love you can give yourself is your fullest creative potential. Being dissatisfied and angry is good because that is a sign that you are acknowledging some area of your life is unacceptable to you. That is good. If you are satisfied doing drugs then you will never stop doing them. Real change comes with you being real to yourself. At some point you have to admit that your poison is unacceptable. Your highest love is to not be satisfied with everything in your life (particular that which doesn’t serve you; mediocrity), it is rather to strive to be satisfied with yourself now with a vision to be in alignment with your higher-self. Hope this is helpful. This was a big trap for me. It is easy to take teachings to limit your growth. The key takeaway is to allow yourself to be angry with things that don’t go your way. If you are a happy Buddha with everything, then you are signaling to the Universe that you are also okay with being mediocre. You will manifest what you accept. Contemplate what improvement really means and entails. If I am satisfied with how fast I run, then can you see how that would hinder me from improving? Improvement requires a big change in your mentality to always strive to get better. There is no finish line. Whatever you are satisfied with, that is what you’ll get.

Bliss happens as a result of releasing resistance (e.g. dropping attachments and clearing trauma), and peace is when you stabilize in that state. So peace is inherently blissful, but only compared to a non-peaceful state (experiences are experienced through contrast).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIZfqWAPrHg Now I had a near death experience (not like how most other NDE's mine was basically a loose attachment to my body) which the result lasted for 2 weeks. That along with a kundalini awakening showed me that your true nature in the present is Blissful. But now that my attachment to my body has become strong again (what we would consider normal existence) when I focus on the now I feel peace, but the blissful feeling that is naturally generated is no longer felt. Now I can think or focus on loving thoughts and gratitude and feel momentary bliss, but my prior experience was that my natural feeling without those actions was blissful. So while I hear what Spira is saying, most people aren't looking for that peace, they want that bliss. The only way it seems to me to attain that as a natural state is to clear through your traumas, so the blockages in the body can open up and you can attain that state as a default state. Until then....you will only feel peace. Peace isn't bad but it doesn't compare to bliss.

@Federico del pueblo thanks for the insights. I do try to meditate it through sometimes but I always just feel so drained after. I’ve even had nights where my heart is fully open and I just go spread love throughout the whole club in my own way. And I can’t sustain it for more than a night. @Leo Gura I think you’re right. Day game is a better option. I actually don’t want to give up pick up because I love women and sex. It’s just the club and alcohol scene that I’m getting sick of. So many douche bags. @Aleister Crowleyy I kinda feel like the most conscious sages really don’t get any pussy…but I think they’re just so melted into bliss and God that it doesn’t matter. It’s like they’re getting blown 24/7

I am high on bliss. Blessed home. Live, Laugh, Love. Honor and togetherness. As One Being in One Heart.

@Son of leo Depression is the superlative case of repression. Repression = pushing away (emotional) pain. With each bit of pain that is repressed, a bit of your wholeness and sense of meaning and authentic desire goes with it. Therefore when there is too much to repress, you lose most of the sense of meaning and desire that is inherent to being an alive human. The way out of depression is to choose to feel more of what is repressed, thereby lifting the depression. Some depressed people are actually really angry, but unable to cope with that and process that fully, so hence they are depressed. Other common feelings are sadness, grief and hopelessness. The less you push these away, the more you will feel. The more you feel, the more emotional pain you feel, but also the less depressed you are. And after feeling the pain, bliss and insight follows. That's not to say that you can just make that decision from any situation. Repression is there for a reason. Are you currently in a condition to handle emotional pain? Is your life stable? Do you have the time, space and guidance needed? If not, then the first thing to do is to go get that. Set your life up in a way that makes it possible to process some repressed feelings in a safe way. If that means working a day less at your job, do that. If it means temporarily removing yourself from a toxic family system that doesn't accept and hold space for your feelings, cutting off contact and going to live on a friend's couch, do that. If it means getting a therapist, coach or mentor, do that. If it means reaching out to a friend even though it's hard, do that.

Lysergic bliss - of montreal

Usually. People with lower IQs are given less opportunities to move up the spiral in a way, poverty etc. I guess suffering from having a low IQ can move you up. But are you suffering? Ignorance is bliss. Moving up the spiral equates to abundance and some suffering, something high IQ people have.

I once had such an intense DMT trip that my friend in the same room felt it. He fell into a kind of trance, and when I came back eh also snapped out of it and said "Dude what did you just do?" According to him there were waves of energy and bliss pouring off of me and he couldn't do anything except sit and pray and receive it. Also: https://youtu.be/HzcA-bcR4LI

I don't know completely. The passage about involuntary bliss in that book is very interesting. And the individuality of the character makes perfect sense to me. He is very funny; I love the tightrope walk where the clown murders the acrobat. But there's something sad about it all because Nietzsche must have been a very miserable person, being so alone philosophically "profoundly" in the time and place he was at, likely nobody understanding his ideas as clearly as himself and him suffering from severe health issues. He said in that book Jesus was immature and would have needed more time alive to reach proper clarity, so it makes me wonder what Nietzsche would have ended up as if he survived. Leo's issues with health also would correlate with Nietzsche's, though Nietzsche's was worse, it seems. And Leo hasn't gone insane and institutionalized yet! Or rather, he's just a freely roaming insane person in Las Vegas! Aurobindo is my favorite philosopher.

@Breakingthewall The thing that frightens me most is "infinite bliss" or eternal love etc. It struck me the other day, and it caused great distress... I don't want to be in infinite bliss, I want to be here. When people have notions of a heaven where they're walking around clouds with dead relatives, "eternity" sounds quite alright. But when considered in this context, truly frightening... "No infinite love! No! Stay away from me infinite love! I want to be a character! I don't want your love!"

You can look from that perspective and say that the internal is the key to happiness. When the internal is strong enough, the external doesn't matter. But in order to make the internal strong in the first place, and to maintain it strong, the external does matter. And as I've already said, you can also see it from the opposite perspective: That the external is key. When the external is strong enough, the internal doesn't matter. A strong enough external can cause bliss regardless of your bad internal state (judgements, perspectives, biases, neurosis). For example by taking heroin. Now you can say that the bliss from an enlightened mind is better than the bliss from heroin. But: that judgment is relative that difference in quality of bliss depends on the rules of the current reality/dream. In a different reality, it might be switched. In such a reality, people might get the enlightened bliss from taking heroin, and get the shallow bliss from being a Buddha. But even within our reality it can be considered relative. I guess most people would consider the bliss from relationships to be better and higher quality than the bliss from a still and accepting mind) (I use taking heroin as an example to better illustrate. But in the category of "external" also belong things most people consider valuable and fulfilling, like romantic relationships, sex, friends, traveling...) I'm not saying either internal or external is key. I'm saying both are key. And depending on one's specific situation one is more important to focus on.

Yep, but mine was different than most. Instead of getting complete detachment I got a sort of a limbo detachment. Like I was half way attached. I existed in this state for like 2 weeks. I felt like I was dragging around something dead. In that state it was constant bliss, sometimes it got too much and gave me a headache. It made sense to me now why Jesus and Moses both went into the wilderness for 40 days and 40 nights. If you weaken the body (Not telling you to do this lol don't want yall to harm yourselves) you truly discover that your natural state is peace, joy, and bliss. Our body and discriminatory human brain creates the suffering we have.

I made a post about different ways to increase spiritual bliss: The void dimension is kind of always involved to some extend. These are the ways how the void dimension increases bliss. By: increasing shakti awakening kundalini making transmissions and invocations more powerful making it easier to surrender and accept unconditionally making the enlightened state more profound I think the void dimension really is the component of enlightenment that causes the most practical benefits.

Spiritual Bliss I think spiritual bliss has these 3 main causes: 1. Shakti Bliss Shakti energy in your body causes bliss. It also makes your body sensations feel more and more like bliss. Ways to increase your baseline shakti: - (1) by having a high baseline void dimension In my experience, the higher my void dimension, the higher the shakti bliss. How to increase your baseline void dimension: Link - (2) by having an awakened kundalini How to awaken your kundalini: Shaktipat transmissions high void dimension advanced invocations, psychedelics, shamanic breathing, whole body orgasms, kriya supreme fire and least effective; kundalini yoga, kriya yoga, meditation - (3) by receiving Shaktipat transmissions in person intensives online live transmissions recorded video or audio transmissions during meditation and during as much of your daily activities (including sleep) as possible Jan Esmann and Gareth have the strongest shaktipat in my opinion. - (4) by doing Invocations of Ascended Masters The higher the shakti of an ascended master the better. The higher your energetic sensitivity, the stronger Invocations and transmissions become. How to: Link Keep in mind that shakti energy is different from just prana or chi, or the energy of most transmissions and invocations. Prana or chi is not blissful. In case your prana or chi ever turns blissful (for example through kriya yoga) then that's because of shakti, probably due to activating the kundalini. At least that's my current understanding. 2. Acceptance The higher your unconditional acceptance, the higher your spiritual bliss. I talked about that in the previous post. How to increase your acceptance skill: willingness to accept what you don't like ego surrender presence, mindfulness and self-awareness void dimension (a high void dimension makes surrender and acceptance a lot easier. Acceptance is actually a natural effect of a high void dimension) 3. Enlightenment Being conscious of non-dual nature increases bliss. The more profound your enlightened state, the higher the bliss. The level of profoundness depends on: illumination dimension void dimension magnitude dimension which facets of awakening you're conscious of surrender and deconstruction of the ego mind. - Summary So these are the main causes for spiritual bliss: shakti (energetic state) acceptance (mind state) enlightenment (consciousness state) - Other causes for spiritual bliss sense of purpose open heart chakra healed traumas being present ...

If someone takes heroin and tries to resist the bliss, he still feels bliss. If someone gets tortured brutally and tries to accept it he still suffers. Suffering and bliss are not merely a result of the mind. Both the mental and the environmental state are factors. If the environmental factor is too strong, you have no chance overcoming it with your mind. I disagree. The reason most people who seem to have everything aren't happy is because they DON'T have everything. They have a lot, but still are far from a perfect heavenly life. So of course they suffer. They could probably still list a 100 things every day that could be better, if they micro-analyse their day. Outside happiness doesn't replace inside happiness. Likewise, inside happiness doesn't replace outside happiness. Just take both. I wouldn't distinguish between true vs not true happiness. Instead between higher conscious and higher quality vs lower conscious and lower quality happiness. And that is relative. There could be aliens who are wired differently, and for them internal spiritual happiness and nondual states of consciousness are objectively low quality and bad. And video gaming gives them high quality, permanent, soul fulfilling happiness.

That is an imperfect version of heaven. In a real heaven you don't suffer regardless of how messed up ur mind is when you get there. Some possibilities how that might be possible: The heaven might instantly magically purify your mind such that it creates no suffering the inherent nature of human psycholgy as well as laws of logic could be bent such that even a messed up mind creates no suffering but only bliss. Internal change is not required if the external change is strong enough.

Acceptance vs Rejection Enlightened consciousness accepts everything unconditionally. The ego resists and rejects what it considers "not good". The more resistance you have to anything (like pain) the more you suffer. The more you accept unconditionally the greater your wellbeing on an internal spiritual level. And the greater your rejection of "not good", the greater your wellbeing on a wordly environmental level. Because rejecting what is considered "not good" makes you trying to environmentally maximize what is considered "good" and minimize what is considered "not good" (like pain). People pre-awakening tend to only pursue environmental wellbeing. People at awakening tend to prioritize spiritual wellbeing to greater and greater extends. If you are spiritually advanced you can exclusively focus on spiritual wellbeing and that can be enough to experience constant bliss. But: this is not holistic and ignores humanness this is ironically still dependent on environmental circumstances. Someone living an average life can have high wellbeing exclusively from focusing on spiritual wellbeing. But if environmental circumstances change enough (like getting kidnapped and tortured) then there is always a range of pain that exceeds your spiritual acceptance skill and thus unavoidably leads to suffering. In such a situation environmental bias and changes are necessary. Someone who is truly selfless and unconditional wouldn't resist being kidnapped in the first place. So the solution to holistic wellbeing is to include both spiritual and environmental wellbeing, without trying to bypass one. For environmental wellbeing it is necessary to have biases. The stronger your biases and notions of "good" vs "bad", the better, imo. The notion of "good" vs "bad" is deeply ingrained in humans and ensures the best chances for environmental wellbeing. If you dissolve that bias through a-human states of consciousness, you will probably pay for that sooner or later. And yet, it is necessary to include ruthless acceptance in order to maximize overall wellbeing (at least in this local reality). Because the more resistance you have to anything (like pain) the more you suffer. To decrease suffering on a spiritual level, acceptance is required. Even better than acceptance is to love it. And even more effective is if you love it so mindlessly that you want even more of the pain. The further you get away from resistance, and the closer you get to these senseless levels of love, the greater your spiritual wellbeing. And that actually works. If I experience pain, and adopt that attitude of trying to love the pain and even getting into the mindset of wanting more of it (even if that mindest is faked) then that reduces suffering, sometimes to the point where it makes no difference for me whether there is pain or not (if the pain is low enough). But this of course only works for pain up to a certain level. If the pain exceeds the acceptance skill threshold then suffering occurs. I suppose most people would probably prefer a fair balance between spiritual and environmental wellbeing. But I personally am more biased towards the ego, the environmental component. I love goodness and I hate suffering. And I want to hate suffering. Evil and suffering is unjustifiable and doesn't deserve love. It should be absolutely eradicated from existence for ever. (good and bad/evil are relative so how would it be possible (just in theory) to eradicate the bad/evil absolutely? Simply by creating for each being what it considers good relative to itself. This is goodness and love. Allowing suffering to exist is evilness.) So I do balance the spiritual and environmental wellbeing, but I pursue the spiritual component of wellbeing (unconditional acceptance) not genuinely but out of necessity because that's the only way to maximize overall wellbeing in this local reality that we're currently in. I fake loving suffering because I hate suffering, because I love goodness. Goodness is perhaps my highest value. Loving the "bad" is a calculated survival strategy for coping with the unjustifiable abusiveness of this local reality.

What is the force that cannot be defeated, represented by Kali's unstoppable destruction on the battlefield? This thing all things devours; Birds, beasts, trees, flowers; Gnaws iron, bites steel; Grinds hard stones to meal; Slays king, ruins town, And beats high mountain down The answer is time, or perhaps we might call it the inevitability of death that comes along with the existence of time. Kali is invincible and ruthless in slaughter. The oldest written records of Kali, or goddesses who became synonymous with Kali support this tantric interpretation of Kali dancing upon Shiva. The Rig Veda, which was set down somewhere between 1500 to 1200 BCE from older oral traditions contains a hymn called the Rathri Suktim, which is sung to Rathri, goddess of night, who was understood as synonymous with Kali. This hymn is also sung to Kali. The Rathri Skuktim speaks of a sage Kushika, who perceived the enveloping force of darkness while meditating and thus invoked the name of Rathri which means night as an all-powerful goddess, Rathri Devi, this holy darkness was called upon to free mortals from their fears and their bonds to the earth and like Kali was seen as possessing the all devouring power of time. Worshippers of Rathri sought to manifest this devouring power to overcome fear and any obstacle that they may face. Conceptually, Rathri is very similar to Kali, and other Vedic writings attest to this as well. The Atharva Veda which was likely the last part of the Vedas to be composed, somewhere between 1200 BCE and 1000 BCE, directly associates Rathri with several goddesses, including Durga. Then we have the Mahabharata which was written between 400 BCE and 300 CE, and this text combines the names of Kali and Rathri into Kalatratri and she's very reminiscent of what we saw from Kali in the Devi Mahatmaya. She shows on the battlefield to battle various asuras and villains, her tongue lolls out thirsty for blood and most importantly, she specifically is associated with blackness and the eternal void, like Kali. The Rig Veda also mentions the goddess Nirrti, who is the personification of death, decay and destruction, and who may be either a predecessor to Kali or perhaps just a very similar deity expressing its similar concepts. There is a continuity of thought about void goddesses that we can trace from the very earliest written records of Indian literature, right up to the present. Is it dark already? How light is a light? Do you laugh while screaming "Is it cold outside?" All of this destruction is also linked to cycles of creation and rebirth. And the idea of her driving cosmic time in intended to be paralleled to the cycles of personal growth, which are supposed to come from the studying of the Vedic scriptures. Most religions and spiritual practices are about self-improvement to some extent, and this is true of Hinduism, and Tantric traditions in particular are focused on using meditation to achieve spiritual liberation. The constant battled between the devas and the asuras are therefore generally understood to represent the good and evil instincts within mankind. Any esoteric interpretation of Hindu folklore or scripture presumes this; thus, we can begin to see Kali's relentless slaughter of asuras as representation of what we must do to free our higher selves, our good instincts from encumbrance. We must ruthlessly seek to slaughter any signs of evil or deception inside of us. This is a metaphor to describe the practice of any kind of quest to obtain spiritual enlightenment or righteousness. It's the process of rooting out ignorance, selfishness, illusion and delusion and anything else that causes us not to live up to our values, to fall short of our own moral compass and to fail to reach our own potential, thus Kali represents not only the progress of physical time, but the progress of self-improvement, the opposite of personal stasis, which is a kind of spiritual death or slumber. This statis and complacency is what we must go to war against, says Kali, through her bloody trappings she is telling us that attainment of spiritual freedom comes only through the elimination of attachment, and the destruction of false consciousness. That's what the severed head represents, false consciousness. The sword represents the knowledge that destroys illusion. This iconography portrays the process of self-improvement as active, bold, tumultuous, painful, a striking contrast to the stillness of Shiva's meditation. In the end, these two ideas are designed to work in tandem, the quiet reflection of meditation should lead to insight, and insight to action and through this process we are transformed. The metaphysical interpretation of Kali dancing upon Shiva, the emergence of reality from the cosmic stillness parallels the metaphysical interpretation of transformative action emerging from the stillness of meditation. There are two other folkloric interpretations on Kali's dance on Shiva, and although they are somewhat different from the Tantric interpretation, they still work with the same idea of self-improvement, or mastery of self. In both of these interpretations, Kali is understood as the destructive aspect of Shiva, when Shiva is portrayed as calm or peacefully reclining beneath Kali's furious dance, he's showing us mastery of his anger, or darker thoughts. He's aware of these darker impulses but remains in control or unperturbed. If we see Shiva depicted as being dead or in pain beneath Kali's feet, that's seen as an expression of Shiva losing control with his dark side, or id, taking power. So, although different, we still deal with the same concepts. Kali and Shiva are basically always working together to describe and depict the war that is the path to spiritual mastery. The iconography isn't all blood and battle, though, Kali also expresses the love of a mother with the hand signs or mudras that she's frequently making with her right hands. In her Dakshina Kali forms specifically, the mudras are abhaya - fearlessness, and varada - blessing, this work says a promise of spiritual freedom and salvation to those who have the courage to seek ultimate truth. There is no real comfort in delusion, so the message here is along the lines of, "only the truth will set you free." One thing I know for certain Oh, I'm pretty sure It ain't over I'm not done Another important avenue for spiritual growth and perfection in Hinduism is reincarnation, with the idea being that the eternal soul is improved upon gradually through multiple lifecycles, and that those cycles of death and rebirth are of course powered by Kali. The garland of severed hands that she wears is specifically tied to the concept of karma and reincarnation, hands are what you do work with, and this collection of hands represents the work of karma, the many lifetimes of work that it takes to achieve nirvana. The severing of those hands, accordingly, represents Kali's ability to bestow ultimate freedom from the binding of karma. By these means, Kali is seen as helping us to achieve enlightenment, not only by being ruthless in the quest to root out evil and delusion, but also by causing our souls to be reborn from the dissolution of death. Kali's eternal existence outside of time, outside of the veil of maya, or illusion, which is the physical world, is what enables her to perform this function. This is the reason for Kali's nudity, she is uncovered by any sort of cloak of illusion, the ultimate personification of indestructible, eternal truth. Thus, Kali is perceived as beckoning us on our journey to find truth from a place which is actually the source of ultimate reality. For similar reasons, Kali is always described as black or dark blue, and again, Kali means the black one, and of course, the link between the great goddesses and the primordial darkness goes back to Rathri Devi in the Rig Veda. These symbolic implications of Kali's blackness thus are of a prime importance, primordial importance, and are spoken of often. The Maha Nirvana Tantra, written in 18th century explains that just as all colours disappear in black, so all names and forms disappear in her. Sri Ramakrishna, an 18th century Bengali yogi and saint, similarly explains that "My mother is the principle of consciousness, she is Acanda Sachidananda, indivisible reality, awareness and bliss. The night's sky between the stars is perfectly black, the waters of the ocean depths are the same. The infinite is always mysteriously dark, this inebriating darkness is my beloved Kali." You can clearly recognize the language of creative chaos here, Kali's darkness represents things from which creation can emerge, like the ocean or space. Kali therefore represents the principle of consciousness that emerges from that darkness, an invisible yet all pervasive and life-giving force. Sri Ramakrishna also describes Kali as the force behind the sun, which is kind of Egyptian concept. The thing is to tap into that force we must first submit to the destruction of ego. This is the dissolution of Kali into which all names, and forms disappear, and then in terms of reincarnation, we can imagine our soul sort of dissolving back into that dark ocean of Kali, upon death, only to reemerge reborn from that ocean when we're reincarnated, just as the consciousness of the universe first emerged from that same void. The kindling of consciousness from the void and the spark of awareness itself is often liken to a fire, or to a light that blooms in the darkness and Kali is associated with exactly this sort of fire of awareness. The uncompromising truth which Kali offers is often likened to the fire of the sun, which burns away illusion like morning fog, along the same lines, the very first written record of Kali by name associates her with the purifying fire, specifically the fire of ritual sacrifice. We have this idea of purification through destruction and disillusion. This text is the Mundaka Upanishad, dating approximately to the 5th or 6th century BCE and it names Kali as one of the seven quivering tongues of the fire god, Angi, who's flames devoured the sacrifices intended for the gods, thereby transmitting them up to heaven via the rising smoke. Obviously you'll notice the connection between the lolling tongue of pretty much all Kali depictions and the idea of her as a tongue of the consuming fire god. There is also a deity mentioned in a slightly older Jaiminiya Brahmana dated to the 8th century BCE, called Dirgha-jihvi and this means the long tongued one, and this is thought to be an early form of Kali, or perhaps an older goddess whose mythology became combined with Kali over time. Dirgha-jihvi is an ogress who drinks up all the soma produced by the holy yagna ritual of the devas, which causes the devas to become weak. Who is the Alpha? How do you say I'm sorry And there's nothing to be afraid of? Oh, I'm pretty sure It ain't over I'm not done So, you can see the similarities to the slightly later concept of Kali as a tongue of holy fire, which devours the sacrifices intended for the gods. Instead of the soma stealing instrument of chaos from this earlier tale, Kali is now simply consuming, metabolizing and then transmitting the essence of the sacrifice up to the heavens. This concept of holy consuming fire leads us back to the concept of dissolution, which means it's time to talk a little more about Nirti, the goddess of death, decay and destruction, that appears in the Rig Veda, the Sanskrit ford Nirti is translated as decay, and it's derived from Nir which means to separate, think dissolution, and Nirti can also be translated as a lack of order, or a state of disorder. Think of the whirling pool of primordial chaos, from which creation emerges. Nirti seems to specifically embody the dissolution end of this process. The Vedas also used the word Nirti in lowercase form to indicate a realm of nonexistence and absolute darkness. The void, essentially. Like her sister void goddess, Kali, Nirti is described as having dark skin and additionally dressing in dark clothes. There is a Hindu shakta poet from the 18th century named Ramprasad Sen - shakta - he fallows shaktism or the worship of shakti the divine goddess - he is also from Bengal, like Sri Ramakrishna and he associates Kali with the cremation ground, which builds on the concepts of fire and dissolution. Prashad means a ritual sacrifice, usually in the form of a food. "O Kali, thou art fond of cremation grounds; So I have turned my heart into one That thou, a resident of cremation grounds, May dance there unceasingly. O Mother! I have no other fond desire in my heart; fire of a funeral pyre is burning there; O Mother! I have preserved the ashes of the dead bodies all around that Thou may come. Oh Mother! Keeping Shiva, conqueror of Death, under Thy feet, Come, dancing to the tune of music; Prasad waits with his eyes closed." The metaphor of the heart as cremation ground, is a reference to the holy fire of Kali, which burns away all the bad things, false consciousness, illusion, base desires, selfishness and so on. This inner fire that Kali bestows to her devotees has a specific name which is gyanagni, which means fire of knowledge. This is the sun-like aspect of Kali's truth, which burns away all illusion. You can see how all of the concepts behind Kali's symbols complement one another and now you can make sense of all the death and gore that pervades her imagery and her stories. Now you know there's nothing to fear, nothing but the truth, that is. The truth is like a sword, sharp, cutting, inflexible, but which also promises a kind of spiritual freedom. The ultimate spiritual freedom, which can only be won through courage. Kali offers us blessing and courage with her right hands, and offers us the sharp tools of freedom with her left, dancing Kali pedaling her cosmic bicycle, powering the cycles of time, existence and reincarnation, of which our world is made. Kali, the divine mother, who gave birth to all and who waits at the end to welcome us back home, back to the primordial sea from which our consciousness first arose.

Recently my baseline awareness has been increasing. The more and more I pay attention the more I see the same traits I possess in someone else. Its funny because as a result I experience what it is like for others to deal with my ego, because their ego is doing the same thing. It is hilarious because sometimes those characteristics annoy me. Then I realize in that moment, so this is how I am making people feel. I apologize, I apologize for not working better to connect. I have now realized that in my desire to teach I relinquish the true desire of all communication which is the desire to connect. Its crazy I thought I transcended this but I have allowed myself to backslide into arguments. Instead of focusing on the differences that others speak I should focus on where our similarities lie. When I watch the logical types on this forum try to hammer in on their perspectives and stroke their metaphorical mental phalice I laugh because I spent majority of my life doing that. But now I truly see debate for what it is, a waste of time. I actually already know how to overcome debate as well, but I allow my old habits to take control. Well no more!! I will make a conscious effort to focus on what connects, than what separates. I truly know what the phrase follow your bliss means now. Follow what keeps you connected. We all know bliss, and peace does that, but also following the similarities you see in others that also reside within. Stop seeing someone as separate, as long as you are doing that you are stuck in ego. The illusion of separation? That is the biggest trap of all.

Meditation notes: - mindfulness of head and spine is enough although intense concentration results in intense bliss. Don't chase bliss. - Integration of major dualities like Self and Other. It's funny but I tend to only be mindful or non judgemental toward other, not myself. It might be just unique to me and my journey. Integrating myself results in leaning back, self love, masculine energy. It's a major duality integration for me. - I'm very conscious of the whole and it's wellbeing. But less so of my own cell. It's my own path. - replace concentration ability with simple mindfulness/ non judgement practice, polarization, spine and head work - polarization: calm, sweet, cheerful, high big 5, non judgemental, mindful, acceptance of otherness

AHAAHAHAHAHAH, this keeps getting better and better, i love this stuff so much. today I finished my contemplation tools (i have these small yellow papers, that are put in like a stack notebook you can pull from) so I got the bigger version after coming back from the gym. hmmm, what else, oh yeah. I realized I am starting to turn these spiritual stuff into dogma and ideology, and I don't know how to not do that, I will add that to my contemplation list. Life Purpose well I tried making a vision board, i was trying to download abode photoshop cracked but internet sucks so it starts downloading then stops midway, even when I use IDM. Diet clean. Reading did not read a lot, only introduction of big leap. Meditation my technique worked! I sat the whole time, i thought: its probably 25 minutes in now, then i heard the goddamn bell, its been 35 minutes! but my focus was weird, it would get so deep for like 30 seconds, like sooo deep, like everything other than the breath disappears from existence, then after 30 seconds or so i get sucked back in to distraction for like 2 minutes or even more. i also spent the whole day in spiritual bliss, and yeah I'm trying not to get attached to it. Physics watched meditation videos instead, F, BUT I WONT GIVE UP, I WILL DEVELOP GODLY WORK ETHIC. Gym yo, so currently I go each other day, i decided to make more structure into my routine, i would go the first day on Sunday, second day on Tuesday and third on Thursday. and in between them I will go do HIIT on the treadmill (Monday and Wednesday)