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Haha, military bootcamp! https://www.healthline.com/health/how-many-times-should-you-chew-your-food#how-many-times-to-chew For me, it's all about conscious and mindful eating right now, I've lessons to learn and am getting interested in digestion and the gut's link to the brain, etc,. The counting helps slow down the whole process (meals last longer!) which is what I need at the moment (I've gone deeper into the rationale behind this goal more fully here in this Journal when I started this challenge). 30 chews? It didn't feel very natural at first but now I find it's not too difficult chewing my food that amount of times, even when I'm doing something else at the same time. And if macrobiotics is anything to go by, "30" is mere amateurism, a drop in the ocean. Macrobiotics teaches us that chewing well is a primary factor in health and transformation. Thorough chewing means chewing each mouthful between 50 and 100 times (ideally 100 times) for physical, emotional, mental health as well spiritual progress. Naboru Muramoto writes that chewing 50 times per mouthful is the basic number of chews for good digestion; 100 times or more if one has a health problem; 200 times if you have a serious sickness. https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Ourselves-Naboru-Muramoto/dp/0380498669 There wouldn't be enough hours in the day for me to chew 100 times on each mouthful, 30's good for me, do-able. So count or not to count, that is the question, only you can chews choose.

What you're describing does not sound strange at all from a developmental perspective. For you, if deep down there is the sense of total; utter okay-ness and peace, despite anything that is happening on the relative level, such as emotions and so on, then that is genuine realization of Truth. Since you're describing what you're experiencing as a 'Dark Night of the Soul', I assume you already know this on some level. If this is Not your experience, you can ignore everything I will say next. You will recognize some time in the future that, That 'sense' of total and utter okay-ness IS the Absolute; it's actually not a "sense" or "feeling" - it's direct Consciousness, and if that's not what it seems like right now, it will become that in time. It's possible that you will also recognize that the developmental reason for all the emotional arisings which occured, is transformation. That having had genuine realization of Truth, there is actually Space for emotional transformation, which is why it all took place. Enjoy all the emotions while they're still turbulent. Savor and bask in the negative thoughts and depression - you just might miss it. I personally envy you having a good material life as you're going through this. When I went through this stage of development, I felt like I had absolutely no one, and objectively, I really didn't have anyone either.

@Surfingthewave Yea i read an article about spiritual escapism, and it really hit home. I think healing my inner trauma and reconnecting with my self is the key to my growth from here on out. A few years i got depressed, and after a year i finally got sick of it and completely transformed my life. I had never felt better. I always wondered what i did what worked such magic. I think i practiced some form of ad hoc inner work that compounded back then and that's what the "trick" was of my transformation. https://lonerwolf.com/spiritual-escapism/ This is the website I found. What kind of inner work are you practicing now?

True shadow work goes after your deepest "pain points" but from a place of expansive love and understanding. We think of death as a loss or a ceasing to be "you", but in order for death to occur at all there must be a you to die. Death is more of an experience of finally accepting (with love) the things you had always resisted that were always a part of you. This is what is meant by there is no death. Death = Self Love = the truth of no self, you include everything. Paradoxically on the path there is stuff that is experienced that is seemingly"not it". If there was not stuff that felt like it was not it (ie felt bad) there could not be the experience of discovery, a path or a transformation at all. Regarding the life purpose stuff, your purpose of exploring can be expanded to include exploring which living options leave you the most freedom to explore, it's all exploring in itself. I live in a rural area and I'm pretty amazed how easy survival seems in comparison with more developed areas. You can live in a trailer, camper or small home with your own well and electricity, even have a good bit of land and be completely free with very little savings or regular income. So many of our needs and wants are far from basic but assumed as such. So many peopl are so used to assuming that this is what poverty looks like that they miss the freedom that comes with it, as long as it is by conscious choice and not default. My parents lived in the middle of the woods with no electricity in a log cabin they built themselves with a dug well for a few years. My sister and her fiance built a yurt in the middle of the woods and lived there a few years. Eventually they also opted for electricity and running water. Give yourself freedom to let your desires change and clarify over time. Have you seem Nahm's thread about having a dream board? I highly recommend it.

kontrudar.com - the main website, it has articles, lectures, A&Q, books, audios, videos. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-Jx82IQivEoq9nb8YWqQSTMghMRhSEvW - about 20 interview-format talks https://www.youtube.com/user/geydardzhemal - youtube channel Important note, it has many political topics, but if you seek you shall find metaphysics and theology related articles, videos. All of works together make up meta-discourse, the new system of understanding (and also opposing) reality from Absolute to low-level affairs. It is what marxism was for economy, the meta-discourse. Just to show the scale of how much reality hates his discourse, and how much reality is opposite to consciousness - his website is blocked in my country (Kazakhstan) by KNB (post-soviet transformation of KGB). Also, I know some foreigners read him via google translate and learn Russian just to read him. Similar to how in the past people learnt German to read Hegel. --------------- addition: Also, I forgot to add his two most important books in pdf: Ориентация Север - Orientation North: http://askrsvarte.org/pub/downloads/orientsever.pdf Prophets' revolution: https://jahproxy.pro/index.php?q=nKaooGuVaMzVn6WoqsWW116VotBfqZrWl9VglcvJk9egpmOWmtKe1JWjlqykza7apKWc3JGVodSh1KCc1dlg0piY Especially, Orientation - North, its absolutely important to read for anyone who was or is on the path. Please do read Orientation North even if you don't know Russian, use google translate, learn it. Do anything but read it. It is the main existing metaphysical manifest (imo).

@from chaos into self OK, good points, strictly speaking. But since we're talking metaphysics, metacommunication, we are examining and reexamining the meaning of meaning, right? We are, thus, seeking ever more overarching ways of both perceiving and experiencing the word, based on more inclusive paradigms, right? So, yes, we can begin with contrast as simply the difference between one identity and another, but if those identities flow into each other, in the endless and eternal passage of time, and if we offer this perpetual transformation no resistance, then we have a new paradigm that includes all three. Right? Hence: Truth = Change = Flow = Time = Eternity = This Now/Moment Right?

When He Places Warmth At The Center Of His Heart, Life, Universe, Enlightenment? When He Experiences Infinite Empathy As The Core Of Enlightenment? When He Experiences Self As Other And Other As Self With Every Breath Of The Now? When He Integrates And Resolves All Paradox And Contradiction Through Just One Thing: Warmth Of Heart Flowing In This Eternal Now? When He Recognizes That All So Called "Progress" (Humanity's History As "Stages") As But The Projection Of The Alienation Of His Body From His Mind? When He Experiences His Heart ~ Not His Mind ~ Everyone's And The Universe's Heart As His True Center/Periphery ~ Not The Universal "Mind"? When He ~ Like Heraclitus ~ Experiences All Identity As Utterly Transient, Since We Can Never Step Into The Same River Twice? When He Discontinues His Political Mud Slinging ~ Having Recognized It As The Mere Demonization Of His Own Body From His Own Mind (And Vice Versa)? When He Puts Love, Warmth, Tenderness And Communication With Both Self And Others, Above Insight And Making Others "Wrong" So That He Might Be "Right"? When He Understands That Sociality Has Less To Do With Accuracy, And More To Do With Mutual Support In Warmth Of Heart ~ In The Eternal Now? When He Experiences All Communication Of Self With Self And Self With Other As Trope Or Metaphor, At The Very Core Of All Communication, And Thus That His Much Vaunted "Truth" Is Just A Simile, A Conceit? When He Experiences That The River Of Being Is Pure Communication In Constant Change And Transformation? When He Experiences "Truth" As Nothing More And Nothing Less Than Change And Transformation? When He Experiences Truth As Sheer Communication In Perpetual Change As Engagement And Engagement As Awareness Itself, In The Eternal Present? When He Groks That All Demonization Is Just A Way Of Disengaging From One's Own Projection Of Disengagement Onto Another? When He Refrains From Demonizing Demonization, And Sees Even Demonization As Merely A Projection Of One's Own Disengagement From Oneself? When He Lives In Infinite Empathy Yet Forgives Himself And Others For Our Inevitable Failure To Live In Infinite Empathy? When He Cultivates Contemplates Meditates Embraces Embodies Infinite Unconditional Empathy Tenderness Heartfelt Warmth?

We have actually discussed this topic before...❤ When your name is called the body turns because of its conditioning... the same way you can drive all the way to the store and not even realize you did it...its conditioning... it runs on autopilot... the sense of personality remaining is also still just the conditioning. Duality is an illusion.... no matter how much you imagine separation to be real, it is an illusion, and just because something appears as separate does not mean it is... Its all One appearing as many. It's not that humanity is denied or anything like that, its completely recognized there is no true ME inside the body. There was never a small self and there isn't a large self either that makes no sense... even the big self or true self is an illusion there isn't a ME inside the body period... I completely understand what you're talking about with the zen ox heading pictures and returning back to the marketplace. Before Enlightenment chop wood and carry water after Enlightenment chop wood and carry water. The difference is the resistance to what is is dropped...totally got it. The path to freedom is not self improvement, or somehow satisfying the self’s agenda, but it’s a dropping of the self’s agenda altogether. Some people fear that awakening their true nature will mean that they lose their individuality and enjoyment of life. Actually, the opposite is true; the unique individuation of the soul can only be expressed when the conditioned self is overcome. Because we remain asleep in the matrix most of us never find out what the soul actually wants to express. Maya or the illusion has to have been completely seen through for True Enlightenment to have taken place. I am not in any way accusing you of not having a full Enlightenment experience I'm just saying that it seems there are some fairly large differences between my experience and yours.. Going full circle does not seem to match or describe this experience here. For this unit here there was a radical transformation, shift and expanse of Consciousness if you will. I'm not interested in the same things I used to be and almost all of my future goals have completely changed or just dissolved. Again I'm not trying to compare experiences or say one was better than the other. Instead of calling it going for Circle... I would describe it as "Full self transformation and Liberation from the egoic self agenda and social conditioning which I call The Matrix". ❤ Merry Christmas brother!! ? Talk with you soon hopefully ❤

"In pursuit of knowledge, every day something is acquired. In pursuit of prajna, every day something is dropped." - Lao Tzu "We need to draw our attention to what is false in us, for unless we learn to recognize the false as the false, there can be no lasting transformation, and you will always be drawn back into illusion, for that is how the false perpetuates itself" Eckhart Tolle

I doubt it's the second one. The only way to be in permemnant nonduality state is to be in permenant meditation. One has to become the meditation itself, has to merge with his system that he follows. It has permiate every second, every breath of your life. Then it becomes permenant transformation. Like mooji says, I'm not seperste from my teaching. I am the teaching, I and my teaching is the same thing. Jesus sayed something similar, He sayed "I am the way and the truth and the life.'' Same thing like mooji. Papaji was asked: "you always talk about being vigilent, but do you have to be vigilent? Papaji: To my very last breath" But there is a stage beyond effort. Where you don't have to try to be aware. You're just yourself always. But you don't reach this stage without going through the first one.

Hi Leo, Your videos helped me a lot to overcome a lot of issues, move to another country, finish my studies anr create a challenging and meaningful business. Maybe I'm a slowly learner, but.. I really invest a lot of time in contemplating, meditation and a lot of work. I can't imagine most of your watchers are that dedicated. However I don't get the essence of your videos: - What is death? - how to discover what's true? - What is death? It seems that they are very advanced. It seems that they are very turquoise. I know you want to do bleeding edge stuff, but I think in order to help most of your watchers' life, you should really to focus on more yellowish topics (like going meta) and make the next transformation in a few years. Thank you for everything, Laurens

@Unjigorjigor you gotta figure out for yourself that you are Jesus. You are God, manifest in the flesh and you must die and be born a second time (born again). Born another time, but this time as the ruler of creation, with God, as God. There are soooooooo many correlations between the Bible and nondual teachings. For example, Leo released a video explaining how "good and evil" are contingent upon *you*. A thing is defined as being good or bad only when it is good or bad *for you*. This explains why the tree that Adam and Eve ate from (this is an analogy) was called the *tree of the knowledge of good and evil.* When the Bible says they ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil it's basically pointing to the moment when mankind developed the individualistic ideas. Ego. So many patterns, it's amazing. But yes, you are Jesus in your universe. I am Jesus in my universe. And once this is realised and becomes real it really becomes fucking real. "It is no longer I that lives, but Christ that lives in me." 1 John 4:17 "In this world we are like Jesus." The only mistake religion makes is, there is no actual transformation. I live in Northern Ireland where religion is extremely popular. Protestantism and Catholicism. Protestantism is slightly closer to truth I think. "Be ye transformed by the renewal of your mind." This refers to the long process of emptying the mind and dying to your self. It's so cool now I can see it all

SD is a map that in practice represents endless seeking. Enlightenment is about finding, not endless seeking. Endless seeking represents the unwillingness to surrender egoic attachment to "improvement" or "transformation." Enlightenment is not about "improvement" or "transformation" but surrendering to the perfection of being.

@Nak Khid Radical transformation = gradual transformation change over the long run.

Again, dogma, clearing speaking from an absolutist's paradigm. When I say dogma, I am taking aim at your absolutistic attitude about meditation. This is further ironic given that you keep citing spiral dynamics and suggesting that meditation is a tier 1 activity. Yet if you've ever deeply studied SD, you'd recognize absolutism (dogma) is a tier 1 activity lol. So again, so many chuckles. Speaking in my experience, meditation has radically transformed my experience. Stable attention, unification of mind, heightened sensitivity to body, and metacognitive awareness of thought (and more not worth listing) have all played into what I'm calling "radical transformation." Hahaha thank you friend. You've made no enemies here. Only helped me see first hand self-deception and made me look more closely into my own. Which is part of why I qualify most of my meditation comments; qualify that I acknowledge meditation isn't for everyone. If you are too dogmatic to see the utility meditation has for Self-Actualization and Self-Transcendence, I can't help you. Refer to my above comments regarding SD. I invite you to transcend into tier 2 relativism, and acknowledge that maybe, just maybe meditation has utility for certain individual's based on relative mind structures, histories, environments, culture, perhaps even past lives, etc. Or don't. Making absolutist claims that meditation has no utility for Self-Actualization or Self-Transcendence is dogma my friend. No way around that one. If you read, I actually addressed this point about meditation. I agree with you. Meditation is not inherently about uncovering truth. It is about the rewiring of one's mind, and emotions which facilitate the integration and processing of insights. Dry insight alone is rather weak if one's attention span can't stay still, if one is constantly being dragged around by the mind. Believe it or not, you can have deep insights into the existential nature of reality but have these insights poorly integrated into lived baseline experience if attention is weak. So again, I invite you to consider the possibility that your perspective is partial and does not contain within it the full truth. I further invite you to take a leap into tier 2 thinking and try to see the partial truth in the words I write rather than clinging to your absolutist's attitude with meditation, if only to help make you a better teacher for those who do not understand Self-Actualization or Transcendence.

@V-8 1) What level do you think you are on here? 2) Also what do you see as the best method of ascending these levels? What is the best way to do it? Psychotherapy? Psychedelics? Or just seeing it as a philosophical system or set of principle one can then just follow rather than see it as more psychologically oriented? Or is the best way by joining a Spiral Dynamics organization where there is a group dynamic? 3) I don't advocate meditation for everybody, just if you want to do it. But what is your experience with it? How much have you done? Did it bore you? Have you ever done 20 minutes or an hour? If so how many times? 4) Do you think forms of stoic contemplation or other contemplation are useful or to similar to meditation? 5) You quote a lot. How primary are books to your growth? 6) Do you see Spiral Dynamics as unique or just a good organization of classical ideas and wisdom traditions? 7) Do you prefer radical transformation or gradual? What is the most reliable method of radical transformation? 8) Did you see this -- 8) cont' Did you read Maslow's : The Farther Reaches of Human Nature which is quoted in that thread? What to you think of this later Transcendence stage he added?

Yes,...looks like meditation is for you. Bravo! As for Radical Transformation,....that's another subject,...one in which meditation has no part. I'm not here seeking to upset meditator's obsession with their practice,...it's a very addictive behavior, and sentient beings like sticking with things that soothe and medicate,...which is something that more than 95% of humanity engage in. My intent here is to commune with those interested in Self-Actualization and Self-Transcendence,...not to make enemies with those who identify with the substance levels of Spiral Dynamics. This is a large reason why I use quotes,...so not to tread on other Personal Truths. I'm not into Personal Truths,...nor Me Stories,...or other mental inertia. However, I'm certainly interested in Radical Transformation,...as McKenna said: "I can assure you, that anyone who has ever managed to awaken from the dream state was drive by unendurable mental and emotional forces,...many people can build nuclear reactors, compose symphonies, conquer nations, or can perform brain surgery, but very few can see what is. Spiritual awakening is about discovering what’s true. Anything that’s not about getting to the truth must be discarded. Truth isn’t about knowing things; you already know too much. It’s about unknowing. It’s not about becoming true; it’s about unbecoming false so that all that’s left is truth." That's not dogma,...or a system of beliefs,...but points to the end of beliefs. Meditation (as the quotes in my page 4 post state) is not about about uncovering truth. "Two truths cannot contradict one another” - Galileo Galilei

For what it's worth,,,,, Becoming fixated in the Spiritual Domain, there is a swing to the dichotomies of that domain. This can manifest in a positive sense as a focus on Spirituality on one side, or Realism at the other side. It can manifest in a negative sense as Fanaticism at one extreme or Skepticism at the other extreme. These dichotomies are represented by two characters: the Believer at one end, the Doubter at the other. Prejudices invade the consciousness in this domain. The stress of being fixated and imbalanced in this domain can lead to Sensuality as a compensatory mechanism. The poisons of this domain are Ignorance, Arrogance and Stupidity. The Trap which simultaneously restricts but potentially liberates this ego is its focus on Seeking. The Way of self-realization of this ego is the Way of Self-Awareness, which is “immensely mystical” and which entails becoming aware of one’s “internal inner clarity”. The Holy Idea which acts as a catalyzer for the transformation of this ego is Holy Love/ Divine Love. This can lead to the Virtue (energy) of Action. According to Ichazo, Divine Love is “The awareness that though the laws which govern reality are objective, they are not cold, because these cosmic laws inevitably lead to the creation of organic life, and Life itself, like all natural phenomena, fulfills a cosmic purpose. As soon as the mind’s word mechanism is destroyed, love, the natural condition of the mind, appears. Love begins the moment man contemplates the Creation and says, ‘Thank you, God.’ All men feel this somewhat, no animal can feel this at all. Man alone can know that all comes from God.” from: https://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/showthread.php/48274-Oscar-Ichazo-s-enneagram-descriptions

@V-8 So much dogma.. cant help but internally chuckle. Ill say this again, insight isn’t the primary utility with meditation. Radical transformation of mind and emotions are. If being happy while doing nothing isn’t something you’re interested in, no meditation needed. But all I can say is meditation has been one of the most rewarding decisions of my life But Im also not dogmatic enough to think it’s for everyone.

@Ero That is a very good point, Ero, I'm glad you brought it up! Here's the method to my madness: I experience the beauty of this, Leo's forum, as AUTHENTIC INTERCHANGE, that is, DANCE ~ But, unfortunately, I DO believe the PREVAILING PARADIGM, is, nevertheless, NOT one of flowing interaction, but one of STASIS, or STATIC "this is what is." And not, "this is flowing into this." So, I'm trying to show how this is the missing link. I believe this missing link would dramatically help people get "enlightened" faster. Because instead of asking themselves, "what am I"? They would ask, "what is my experience of grace?" And I'm not saying that I'm "right," because I don't use that metaphor. The metaphor I'm using instead, the one I'm privileging, is "grace." Or, "flow," or "dance," or "change," as "Truth." So, for example, instead of asking oneself, "is this in a state of 'rightness' or 'wrongness'?," one would ask, "what is this changing from and into," and most importantly, "how do I participate, empathize, with this ongoing, changing, now?" Does this make sense? I'm trying to change the dominant default, or paradigm, from one of "Truth" as static, or a state of being, into one of flow, or transformation, or interaction, "Flow," or DANCE, or, sometimes better, "GRACE." Right? So, yeah, thanks!

The quick summary was enough to understand that Mr Culadasa is another Caterpillar teaching Caterpillars to be Butterflies. Perhaps one of the first things to bring up in a discussion of truth is...“Two truths cannot contradict one another” - Galileo Galilei Thus,...all that is necessary to uncover a single absolute truth,...which is sadly missing in today's culture. I can certain type out an Absolute Truth,...such as "There is no Present in time."....yet it doesn't do much good until one realizes that themselves. "Contradictions in perspective among those Seeing the profound do not occur" – Taranatha. Real seekers of truth eventually realize that the way or path to uncovering Absolute Truth is through the letting go of the false. "The real seeker of truth never seeks truth. On the contrary, she tries to clean herself of all that is untrue, inauthentic, insincere." Chandra Mohan Jain "We need to draw our attention to what is false in us, for unless we learn to recognize the false as the false, there can be no lasting transformation, and you will always be drawn back into illusion, for that is how the false perpetuates itself" Eckhart Tolle But who really wants to do that? "How many of us truly want wisdom? We want many things, but who really wants to be wise." Gabrielle Roth What most want is their Me Stories and Personal Truth,...which are always lies.

My 'spirtual ego' is up on the stump shaking its finger at the unintegrated, yet identified pile of stuff in my collection of conditioned associations. Fueled by strong coffee/paint remover this morning. I'm preaching to the mirror in front of me,,,,,,, . We need a healthy ego before we can transcend it or before transformation can occur. Individuation as well as integration are both required. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Individuation Personality is the synthetic unity of all personal traits. All the mental traits—intelligence, emotions and sentiments, impulses, volitions, native and acquired reactions, must be organized and integrated into a unity. The uniting of all mental traits into per­sonality is called integration. Complete integration is the ideal of personality. A sound personality comprises reaction tendencies that are not loosely organized but closely related to integrated. They are gradually reorganized and reconstructed according to more dominant interests and ideals. Although gradually changing during long periods of time, the personality usually possesses a continuity of pattern which the person himself and others recognize. In every person there is the primary or dominant self, which is his innermost characteristic self. It has a special unity which tends to endure, and is expressed in certain familiar reaction tendencies.McDougall regards integration of personality as integration of intellect and integration of character all the conflicting reaction tendencies should be harmonized and organised gradually and integrated with the dominant trends. A personality should be well-integrated and flexible. An integrated and inflexible personality cannot adapt itself to the- changing environment. An ideal personality should be integrated and flexible. It should reveal in some degree the characteristics of integration, consistency, persistency, and flexibility. Disintegration of Personality: The conflicting reaction tendencies in a person may not be harmonized and organized into a unity. The disturbances of personality are due to disintegration or dissociation. The term dissociation applies to all forms of disintegration of consciousness into separate parts. It is a state in which certain activities are no longer integrated with the personality, but are split off from it and coexist with its other activities. It covers practically all mental abnormalities. There are sensory dissociation in the form of anesthesia ideational dissociation in the form of hallucinations and delusion, and motor dissociation in the form of automatisms. Dissociated or alternating personalities are interesting phenomena. Insanity is due to mental disintegration. An insane person is torn between conflicting demands of reality and hallucinatory, unreal world. From: http://www.psychologydiscussion.net/personality/integration-and-disintegration-of-personality-psychology/1683 and also a couple of quotes from Jana Dixon http://biologyofkundalini.com/article.php@story=ShadowSabotageandSacrifice.html The difference between prepersonal and transpersonal giving is that, prepersonal service is undertaken in order to find happiness through giving, while transpersonal generosity is enacted because we are already happy. The first is entropic or dissipatory and the second is syntropic and regenerative. Presence-awareness is not a denial of any part of our being, but a sensitization to the whole of it. And 3 quotes from Almaas Individuation is the Cosmic Conscious Presence Individualizing and Manifesting as the Personal Essence We have been discussing the process of personalization of the Cosmic Consciousness, which shows the direct relation of the Personal Essence to the formless realms of Being. It indicates, in an actual personal experience, that individuation is really the Cosmic Conscious Presence individualizing and manifesting as the Personal Essence. This process is also the deeper resolution of ego inadequacy. It is easy to see here that ego inadequacy is not only a consequence of the loss of contact with Essence, but also due to the separateness of ego boundaries that isolates the ego individuality from the Cosmic Presence. The Personal Essence has no inadequacy because it is directly connected to, and hence completely supported by, the Cosmic Loving Presence. Ego boundaries leave the ego individuality without the inner support of the various aspects of Essence, and without the comprehensive support of the Cosmic Essence (Consciousness). So just as we saw before that ego inadequacy is due to a mistaken sense of self, now we see that it is also due to the presence of ego boundaries. Both intrapsychic self-structures, the sense of identity and the sense of separateness, although indispensable to ego existence, are the reasons for its deep and basic inadequacy. Inadequacy is the deep nature of ego, due to the mere presence of its structure. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 444 The Personal Essence is the True Autonomous Individuation Not only does this process of developing “ego autonomy” put one in bondage to one’s past in the form of self-images, it also leaves one relating to the object images of one’s early primary caretakers, and therefore under their coercive influence, which functions as what the analytic model calls the “superego.” Thus even though the ego might be relatively independent emotionally from the love object, its sense of identity is definitely not. The sense of self of the ego, and its individuality, are fundamentally dependent on the traits of the objects in the inner world, and on the particulars of the childhood interactions with it. We will discuss in some detail later how the development of the Personal Essence is related to the ego development which occurs through identification. When one is the Personal Essence, one does become free of these identifications and of the influence of the early caretakers which has lived on in the ego’s object images. The Personal Essence is an ongoing sense of Beingness, completely independent of mind and memory, and hence completely free. It is the true autonomous individuation. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 58 From : https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/individuation The False Pearl Developed According to the Ego Ideal Very good—the relationship between the self and the personal essence, or what we call the “point” and the “pearl.” The false pearl is the personality which has developed according to the ego ideal. The personal essence, the personal beingness, on the other hand, which we call the Pearl Beyond Price, develops by living according to your essential self. This essential development can take place only when you are not separate from yourself. When you are who you are, when you are just precisely yourself, you are your “point.” Just that. This has nothing to do with any qualities, functions, capacities, and skills you may have. It has nothing to do with your status in the world, and nothing to do with living this life in a body or not in a body. It is your nature. The Pearl Beyond Price is the connection between this genuine center and all the capacities, skills, and understanding that are a part of your growth as a human being. It allows your capacities, functions and accomplishments to develop in a genuine way as an outgrowth of your spontaneous unfoldment. It is the result of living in the moment, living in a way that is true to who you are. This is your genuine personal life, your own development, your own growth. The pearl is the actualized individuation of your Soul. So the personal essence is connected with your unique function, your unique work in this life. To actualize your particular unique work in this life means to be your personal essence. It is the essence of all that you have developed and integrated in your soul as you live a real life. Diamond Heart Book Three, pg. 66 From :https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/false-pearl The Pearl is the Actualized Individuation of Your Soul When you are who you are, when you are just precisely yourself, you are your “point.” Just that. This has nothing to do with any qualities, functions, capacities, and skills you may have. It has nothing to do with your status in the world, and nothing to do with living this life in a body or not in a body. It is your nature. The Pearl Beyond Price is the connection between this genuine center and all the capacities, skills, and understanding that are a part of your growth as a human being. It allows your capacities, functions and accomplishments to develop in a genuine way as an outgrowth of your spontaneous unfoldment. It is the result of living in the moment, living in a way that is true to who you are. This is your genuine personal life, your own development, your own growth. The pearl is the actualized individuation of your Soul. So the personal essence is connected with your unique function, your unique work in this life. To actualize your particular unique work in this life means to be your personal essence. It is the essence of all that you have developed and integrated in your soul as you live a real life. Everyone is born with the true self, with the point. Although we feel that the point is unique in each of us, the quality of the point is universal. Then how do people become so different in their personal lives? This is due to the particular development of their personal essence. Excuse me please for the lengthy and varied copy and paste excerpts in this post. I got carried away,,,,, It happens. It is being observed,,,, for the most part. Still, in part I'm a loose cannon. ????

@Hello from Russia Yeah, I think if he continues to meditate at some point he will become full of his stage orange attachments and go through a similar transformation as we saw with Alex Becker.

"At the end of the day you're either a caterpillar or a butterfly, and the only way anyone will ever have even the slightest sense of what it means to be a butterfly is to become one. There are no butterfly experts among the caterpillars, despite innumerable claims to the contrary" - Jed McKenna Butterflies don't meditate. "Do you think you can clear your mind by sitting constantly in silent meditation? This makes your mind narrow, not clear." Lao-Tzu Huahujing “If your purpose is to medicate dukkha,...then meditate. If your wish is bodhi,...practice absolute bodhicitta.” a Chan saying. Hui Neng said that meditation is unnecessary, and warned that such practice can easily become a narcotic. "Free yourself from meditation, practice non-meditation" - Kyergangpa Chökyi Senge "The practice of meditation is represented by the three monkeys, who cover their eyes, ears and mouths so as to avoid the phenomenal world. The practice of non-meditation is ceasing to be the see-er, hearer or speaker while eyes, ears and mouths are fulfilling their function in daily life." - Wei Wu Wei "in my regard there is no view on which to meditate" - Kunje Gyalpo "You don't need to meditate for hours and hours to attain inner peace. You need only to see, feel, and act from the heart." Kung Fu Panda "Meditation is about repetition, whereas Non-meditation is observing something totally new in every moment. If you want to connect with the open, spacious quality of mind, at some point you have to stop trying to meditate." Lama Willa B Miller "The state of non-meditation is born in the heart...." Jigme Lingpa "meditation and religious teachings are all gentle deceptions meant to soothe the inner coward, not forge the inner hero." Jed McKenna Historically, Siddhartha Gautama was near dead from meditation when a young girl named Sujata (likely a dakini) offered him some food (perhaps rice cooked in milk). Some say a state of appreciation filled him from this meal, and others as he recovered his physical strength, through a state of appreciation, he realized the nature of Dependent Origination from which suffering arises. As for LSD,...I've used it over 300 times and never had a "bad trip." Perhaps LSD is not your "cup of tea." Psilocybin was my food of choice,...but from what you wrote, I wouldn't recommend that for you. Bad trips arise from Me Stories,...thus, the best thing you could do for yourself is find and let go of as many personal truths as you can. Personal truths are always lies. Conditions cannot enter the Unconditional,...although the medicated and the media-ted believe otherwise. Don't seek truth,...in your condition that is futile. "We need to draw our attention to what is false in us, for unless we learn to recognize the false as the false, there can be no lasting transformation, and you will always be drawn back into illusion, for that is how the false perpetuates itself" Eckhart Tolle "The real seeker of truth never seeks truth. On the contrary, she tries to clean herself of all that is untrue, inauthentic, insincere." Chandra Mohan Jain "What is false need not be remedied, it merely needs to be seen as false." Wu Hsin

Remember wrote: " this is because you quote a lot instead of experiencing what divinity actually is - as if you knew. theism and divine are not the same, one is an -ism. (and isms are mostly red or blue even buddhism if it is an -ism) also you contradict yourself a lot. (headache program, sorry to say - if you expected an answer hope this is satisfactory enough) " Yes,...Green's (SD 6) believe they are at the top of knowledge, and in a way they are, because at Yellow (SD ) begins a shift to gnowledge. Thanks for your response,...it says you are not Yellow (SD 7) "open to learning at any time and from any source, like bees that gather nectar from many flowers," and surely not higher, as per your beliefs about things divine have been rejected by Buddha, Lao-tzu, Tilopa, Guan Yin, and every known Awakened Being. "Contradictions in perspective among those Seeing the profound do not occur" – Taranatha. And yes,...was so thrilled to come across this Discussuon Forum ( even perhaps having an opportunity to commune with some Kindred Spirits). Considering Kindred Spirits that may come upon this Turquoise (SD 8) thread, instead of commenting on your post,...I'll finish with a few points on things divine, and their place in the One Space-Time; even though my above post on Turquoise (SD 8) was rather complete. Brahma, God, Creator, Allah, all things Divine,... ARE NOT,...nor synonymous with The Tao, Tathagata or Source. The Tao or Tathagata or Source is like a Fulcrum,...they do not Come and Go (Zer0). The Lever is One (Brahma, God, Creator, Allah, all things Divine). Duality effects its motion (Yang-Yin energy) from the Lever. There is no One Lever without Duality, no Center without Boundary, no Here without a There. As quoted before,..."Sensing is but an electric tension set up by the seeming division of one into many which "strain" to fulfill their desire for Oneness" - Walter Russell. However, even ACIM agrees, it will never be found because it's not Real. Oneness and Duality are part of the same illusory loop. Years ago,...likely before Remember was incarnated,...I quested for God,...even attended Religious Studies through the Masters level at two universities and a college. When it could not be found, decided to seek this elusive idea in the Present, which meant I had to let go of all beliefs, even the quest for a God. The Present was uncovered,...and just as Buddha, Lao-tzu, Tilopa, Guan Yin, and every known Turquoise Being had realized,...there is no God or divine thing there. "You abandon completely all belief; you abandon every sort of way of hanging onto life. You accept your complete impermanence; the prospect of your death of vanishing into nothing whatsoever, you see, and of not being able to control anything, of being at the mercy of what is completely other than you, and you let go of that, you see, this means that you even get rid of any God whatsoever, to do it fully. You don't have a thing left to cling to." Alan Watts. To Remember,...this is likely not your incarnation for Truth Realization,...however, an Eastern quote comes to mind that could be helpful in your predicament,...perhaps even posting it on your refrigerator: “Start knowing what you really know, and stop believing what you really don’t know. Somebody asks you. “Is there a God?” and you say, “Yes, God is.” Remember: Do you really know? If you don’t know, please don’t say that you do. Say, “I don’t know.”. . . False knowing is the enemy of true knowledge. All beliefs are false knowledge." And re-member: "In pursuit of knowledge, every day something is acquired. In pursuit of wisdom, every day something is dropped." - Lao Tzu "The real seeker of truth never seeks truth. On the contrary, she tries to clean herself of all that is untrue, inauthentic, insincere." Chandra Mohan Jain "We need to draw our attention to what is false in us, for unless we learn to recognize the false as the false, there can be no lasting transformation, and you will always be drawn back into illusion, for that is how the false perpetuates itself" Eckhart Tolle “Positive thinking does not bring you consistent peace. Positive and negative are attributes of duality. Positive means there's an opposite that you're trying to avoid. Negative means there's an opposite you're trying to attain. This keeps you in a constant state of avoiding, or attaining." Osho