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The Enlightened Self - A Description Of Your Existential Nature https://youtu.be/cpr-KFks6-c Introduction to the Enlightened Self: Leo introduces the topic of the enlightened self, also known as the true self, giving an accurate description of one's existential nature. This advanced episode is aimed at helping those already engaged in self-inquiry on their spiritual journey to enlightenment. Existential Nature and Identification Misconceptions: Leo explores what our existential nature is and challenges the common identification with the body and mind. He suggests the radical notion that what we conventionally take ourselves to be—the human being inhabiting a body and mind—is nothing more than a story or belief indoctrinated from a young age. Empirical Claim About True Nature: Leo makes an empirical claim that one can demonstrate the truth of not being a human being but instead falsely identifying with this belief, similar to a person mistakenly believing they are a coffee table. No Self Concept and True Self: Clearing up potential misconceptions about the Buddhist concept of 'anatta' or 'no self', Leo elaborates that the term does not suggest non-existence but rather the non-existence of the ego or personal self. He differentiates between the little self (the illusion) and the higher true self, which is not linked to physicality but to something more profound and paradoxical. Existence as Nothingness: Leo prompts viewers to contemplate the idea of existing as nothingness, distinguishing it from non-existence. He suggests that nothingness is a constant, unchanging presence amid the perpetual change of sensations, emotions, and thoughts. Practical Tips for Focusing on True Self: He advises those practicing self-inquiry to shift the focus from proving non-existence to exploring the existence of the true self—what one could be if not aligned with the body or the mind—and to approach this investigation with open-mindedness. Description of the True Self: Describing the true self is risky due to the creation of mental images that can be misleading. However, Leo believes it useful to guide seekers toward motivation and direction. He defines the true self as pure, transparent, empty awareness, distinct from physical or mental constructs. It is this empty awareness that one truly is. Terms for Empty Awareness: Several terms are synonymous with empty awareness, such as consciousness, presence, and spirit. The last term, spirit, is historically defined as breath or air, hinting at the non-physical, essential quality of our true nature. Concept of True Self as Empty Space: Leo describes the true self as akin to empty space, allowing for the existence and occurrence of all other things such as physical objects and immaterial experiences like emotions or thoughts. This empty space is not separate or enveloped within the physical world but is the fundamental container for space, time, and existence. Understanding Awareness as Container of Reality: He explains that awareness is the essential quality of the true self, able to contain all experiences and reality itself. This awareness is transparent and serves as the space within which the entirety of one's experience occurs, much like emptiness allows a cup to hold liquid. Metaphor for Awareness as Empty Cup: Leo uses the metaphor of a cup not being defined by its material construction but rather by the gap inside it which allows it to hold liquid, to explain the nature of awareness which holds experiences within reality. Radical Perspective Shift to Space Identification: Imagining oneself as not a physical body but as empty physical space itself, he suggests, would be a profound paradigm shift. Yet, the reality goes even deeper, stating that we're even emptier than empty space—absolute zero, the very source of reality. Descriptions from an Enlightened Person: Leo recounts conversations with a recently enlightened man who describes his enlightenment as a presence that's rock-solid, empty, transparent, eternal, and unshakable, grounding all experiences. Enlightened Presence as the Illuminator: The nature of awareness is compared to a flashlight, which illuminates everything except itself. It sits in the background, humbly revealing all other experiences but staying hidden due to its self-effacing nature. Becoming Aware of Awareness as a Paradox: The act of becoming conscious of awareness is likened to a flashlight trying to shine on itself, a task that seems nearly impossible as the mind struggles to turn its attention onto something that has no form, shape, or specific location. Existence of Nothingness: Leo articulates that nothingness does exist, and it's not only possible but is the grounding element of all existence. He asserts that nothingness is so complete that it encompasses both nothing and everything, creating a paradox beyond rational comprehension. Analogy of Existence with Black Holes: He draws an analogy between human existence and black holes in space-time, suggesting our consciousness has a similar singularity that leads to non-existence and infinity. This awareness is like a vast field, omnipresent, alive, and infinitely large, yet it has no tangible characteristics like shape or color and cannot be perceived through senses or thought process. Self, Awareness, and Non-separation: Leo explains that while this field of awareness within which all experiences occur may seem separate, it is actually non-separate from the objects and experiences we encounter. To understand this vast field of pure empty awareness, one has to train the mind to become aware of awareness itself. Inability to Conceptualize Enlightenment: The mind cannot grasp the concept of nothingness, rendering it impossible to think your way into enlightenment. All mental images and stories about enlightenment are ultimately misconceptions. The True Self is Not Hidden: A common misstep in self-inquiry is to seek the true self as if it were a hidden object or an energy field. This approach is flawed because the true self is not located anywhere, and the idea of searching for nothingness is paradoxical. Addiction to Spatial and Object Imagery: The human mind is wired to understand things in terms of images, space, and objects. This tendency hinders the understanding of enlightenment, which is not an object and cannot be visualized or located. Misconceptions to Avoid in Self-Inquiry: To progress in self-inquiry, avoid trying to identify with objects, see or feel oneself, or to locate oneself spatially. Also, challenge the assumption of being a human being or any kind of object. Persistence and Habit in Self-Inquiry: Effective self-inquiry requires commitment and regular practice, possibly dedicating significant daily time to this pursuit. Constant Presence of True Self: The true self is always there, unaffected by life's changing circumstances. It is ever-present, preceding birth and outlasting death, yet often overlooked due to its humility. Goal of Self-Inquiry: Self-inquiry serves to purge the delusions and fantasies about the self, leading to a realization of the 'nothing' that is always in plain sight, right in front of us. Forum and Newsletter for Support: Leo highlights Actualized.org’s forum and newsletter as resources for individuals dedicated to personal development, offering a community for discussion and mutual support. Fidelius Charm

My greatest insight has been the focus on nothing. It was a great fear of mine and I was blocking it off from myself but to be able to sit there with the concept of nothingness and not feel fear has been a message from God himself, it has allowed me to heal from myself. Knowing that everything is nothing and comes from nothing is the ultimate disassociation technique. The love of God will flow through you if you can learn to touch it as you put trust in God by doing it. Its fear alone that separates soul from God. Ego is fear, ego is survial and God is death. The insight that I can touch nothingness and not die, for I am it. God is giving us a great blessing to sit and not have to worry about survival. It is letting us touch it freely and we should use it to become one with it. Once you realize that all language means God there is nothing to do but listen to worship nothing at all times. Become nothing and become God the ultimate force in the Universe. God is saying come to me Right now.

Sprint Picture this: beautiful sunny february morning. I wake up, no energy, completely lethargic. I get up, look at the clock and it's 8 am. I do some things around the house, then I remember I have to workout. I do some stretches but it's almost like my body isn't responding to my desires, something isn't right. I can't work out. I lay back in bed. I feel horrible. And it's not laziness. I ask my intuition waddup. My intuition tells me something like this: "You can have all the answers to the universes greatest questions. But you have no questions." This saddens me. What happened to me, where am I? I just lay in my bed and I swear I heard something falling. Gravity at it again. No thoughts, no emotions, pure stillness within. I close my eyes and meditate. And as I lay there it's almost like I see the room around me, except I have my eyes closed. I am in a deep trance. I feel cut off from God. Is this what dark night of the soul feels like? Why is it happening to me again? A family member comes in. Asks me if I'm sleeping. I open my eyes and glance at her, she smiles, radiates her love at me, but I'm empty. Tells me she goes shopping. I tell her I help, she shall give me time. Quick! I need structure, what to ground into now?? I thought maybe I watch my favourite astrology show. I'm lost. No, I cannot do that, astrology makes no sense at this level... I get up and we hear the doorbell ring. Distant relative comes to visit. Is it 11 o'clock already...? I carefully observe him, without judgement. Without expectation. He yells at me that "Wow, what a mens haircut you got! You look great!" I am not able to get out any intentions from his words. It's like I'm spiritually blind. I tell him that it's a womens haircut. He asks me what I do, and I tell that I practice sports. He asks me if I go to the gym or if I jog. I tell him that neither, I practice at home. And he starts making robotic movements with his hands. "Like this?" And I sort of started joking around, making a robotic dance. "Yeah like this!", I say, and I smile. He goes on to tell me that "There was a woman twice as fat as you, and she jogs 6 kilometers every day. Now she looks like you." And he makes wavy gestures with his hands, staring at my body. In my minds eye I see an hourglass. I think that's nice, seems like a compliment. I smile. I got an idea that maybe I could go outside and jog too. Then I start to make excuses "But the psychopaths, but the mud!" "They won't harm you, just do your thing." My relative says. I ask him what weather is outside. "Sunny. And pretty chilly..." That's all I need to know. I dress up in my nicest clothes: a shirt, jogging pants and some fake Vans. And a beanie to cover this messy hair of mine that I ruined with cheap hairgel about a moment ago. I want to bring a sweater but I don't have any, all of the old ones are either too small or dirty right now. Shit... I wasn't aware of my surroundings for weeks now! What do I do now!? I get so angry, I don't know what to do. Pure chaos. I figure I'll need water. I get an old mineral water bottle and I fill it up with water. My distant family member laughs and asks what if I'm bringing water to my exercise, and laughs again. "It's ok sweetie, he doesn't know anything about sports, and you know so much!" my close family member reassures. Her words fuel the chaos even more. What!? How ignorant my relative was really! - I tell myself in my mind... How should I jog without water??? But I'll also be cold, I have no sweater. Am I forgetting something else too, maybe? "You'll be cold!" "Who cares if your clothes are dirty! Nobody will notice!" I look in the mirror. I'm very pretty. Now I can tell my distant relative disrespects me. "Yep. THIS is she." he says and laughs aggressively. I don't know what to say, because I feel in a weak position. "I can be left alone now." - I say in the end. And I leave the house. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I go outside. It's about 3 Celsius I figure. Very energizing. I'm not sure where to go, I go in one direction, but quickly change my mind because I'm sad and I want to see my lover. I think he will be so angry if he sees me dressed in a simple shirt.. then if he yells at me I will have no energy to jog. He will shame the fuck out of me. Feels like a maze. So I just run. And so I do run and run, but my backpack is annoying me. So I stop and I get my backpack off and quickly repair the issue. It was too loose. What the fuck, this really feels like an impossible maze with big and small monkeys walking around my path, and I'm an invisible monkey. I cannot see myself but everyone.. no, EVERYTHING sees me. The All There is To Be of Life. I am cornered from all directions. I cannot do anything without causing an effect! I get up, put on the backpack, the animal that I am, and I sprint again. I am blind, I am deaf and I am mute. The only thing that is real is the extreme wind blowing to the opposite direction I am going. I use it to center myself. My sprinting slowly turns into a walk. Proud monkey. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I got so far. I am now connected to All There is To Be. So instinctual. Mind empty, I don't feel anything. Reconnecting to the senses. What do I see? The sky, the trees... people again. Somebody stares at me and I clench both my fists as a sign that I want to be left alone. Sort of like that hamster from that cartoon meme. I probably look like an angry gorilla now. I kinda care. But I continue my walk. I went too far, it's time to return now because I'm getting cold. So I return and I go home. On the way home I get many stares and unpleasant reactions from people. I get asked by someone if I'm not cold by any chance. My instinct tells me to look him in the eyes and talk to him, but my conditioning tells me that talking to strangers is a bad thing. My mind is empty so I figure it's better to ignore. So I do so. He shakes his head and laughs. I sense that he isn't a bad person. I contemplate how much people care about each other. It's so beautiful. God is real.

My Enlightenment Experience - Exactly How It Happened https://youtu.be/QOsUx9a3UoU Second enlightenment experience: Leo recounts his second major enlightenment experience during a 10-day silent meditation retreat in Virginia, which he compares to his earlier, less comprehensible experience. The challenge of lacking conceptual frameworks: Leo discusses the difficulty of making sense of his first enlightenment experience due to an absence of the intellectual frameworks he developed later, which are essential for interpreting such experiences. Conditions for the experience: He describes the serene natural setting near a chapel in Virginia, with rolling green hills, forests, birds, and a rainy ambiance, which provided the perfect backdrop for deep meditation. Utilizing the 'Do-Nothing' meditation technique: Leo practices the 'Do-Nothing' technique, where he allows his awareness to roam freely without intervention, leading to increased mental focus after initial wandering thoughts. Insight into 'spaciousness': While contemplating the scenery, Leo gains insight into the concept of 'spaciousness', recognizing that in his visual perception, there is nothing behind or in front of observed objects, only the objects themselves and the space around them. Connecting insights with physical actions: He uses the 'well' technique, pointing his finger towards a tree and realizing that there is no tangible point of contact with his vision, reinforcing the insight of 'nothingness' around sensory experiences. Awareness of bodily sensations: Shifting focus to the stone balcony floor, Leo becomes aware of bodily sensations and applies the concept of spaciousness, noticing these sensations are not originating from or leading to any particular location. Application of self-inquiry method: Leaving the 'do-nothing' approach, Leo engages in self-inquiry, asking, "Who am I?" or "Who is the perceiver?" to deepen his understanding of the experience and consciousness itself. Challenges in self-inquiry: Leo points out that asking "Who am I?" without producing honest, tangible answers leads to stagnation in self-inquiry. Genuine responses are crucial, even if they may initially be incorrect. Recognizing fallibility of logical answers: Leo emphasizes that logical answers are inadequate in self-inquiry; what matters is attaining 'conscious traction'. This requires discarding logical conclusions for deeper, experiential understanding. Evolution of self-perception: Initially, Leo's self-inquiry leads him to identify as a combination of body, mind, and observer. He soon realizes this is an ingrained belief, not an ultimate truth, which propels his meditation deeper. Societal influence on identity: Contemplating further, Leo recognizes the arbitrary nature of his identity ('I, Leo') as largely a construct of societal conditioning traced back to childhood. Realization of arbitrary self-identification: Leo's insight deepens as he realizes that identifying with his physical and mental sensations is an arbitrary partition of his entire being, akin to being a slice of the whole pizza. Eradicating perceived knowledge: Achieving a state of genuine 'not knowing' proves critical for progression in self-inquiry by allowing space for new insights and the emptying of preconceived notions of self. Open-mindedness to non-physical existence: As self-inquiry leads to an emptying of preconceptions, Leo becomes receptive to the possibility of existing as a non-physical, non-human entity. Insight into omnipresence: Leo has a significant insight, transitioning from the thought of being omnipresent to an embodied understanding—an experience likened to a 360-degree camera, positioned everywhere. Experience of supreme peace and stillness: A profound moment of clarity dawns, bringing immense peace and bliss, as Leo's awareness expands and equalizes, culminating in a tangible sense of omnipresence and unity with his surroundings. Absolute Now and the Joy of Existence: Leo shares his profound experience of the 'absolute now', a state of profound presence beyond ordinary mindfulness of the present. He describes it as a heavenly sense of existence where you feel like God observing itself, and stresses that this state cannot be reached through thinking but rather through gaining conscious traction. Lucidity in Awareness: Leo details becoming completely lucid in his field of awareness, able to observe every detail around him. Despite a rapid stream of thoughts, he experienced a detachment from them, observing thoughts as separate phenomena without inherent meaning, just existing in the present moment. Thoughts as Phenomena: He gained insight into the nature of thoughts, realizing the substance of a thought is the phenomenon itself. This allowed him to disengage from the content of the thoughts and observe them as mere occurrences, which he considers a significant breakthrough in self-inquiry. Altered Sense of Self During Meditation: Leo noticed a shift in how he perceived his personal sense of self during meditation. He felt his point of awareness move above and behind his head, giving him a sense of hovering above his body while also feeling omnipresent. Questioning Enlightenment and Peak Experiences: Leo wrestles with whether his experience was enlightenment or just a peak experience. He hoped the state would be permanent, but suspected it might be transitory. Experience Wanes but Insights Remain: Leo's state of lucidity and omnipresence faded after about 90 minutes, but he retained a sense of calm and continued to feel enlightened. He maintained the insights gained from the experience. Zen Master Interpretation: Upon sharing his experience with a Zen master, Leo was told that he had glimpsed 'a few hairs of the ox's tail', indicating progress on the path to enlightenment but suggesting the journey was still only partially complete. Long-lasting Effects and Mind Expansion: Despite returning to a more typical state of mind, Leo feels that his mind has been permanently expanded. His meditation practices have become more powerful and he finds himself unintentionally meditating during routine activities, indicating a sustained level of mindfulness. Solidifying Practice and Proof of Concept: Leo is encouraged by his experience, taking it as proof that his meditation techniques are effective. He feels that his mind is now 'zoomed out' and that he is able to recreate aspects of his retreat experience during regular meditation, suggesting that he's closer to enlightenment than ever before. Motivation and Conviction: Leo hopes his experience motivates viewers to believe in the reality of enlightenment beyond just philosophy. He details the step-by-step process he underwent and recorded immediately after to ensure accuracy in sharing his self-inquiry technique. Proper Self-Inquiry Demonstration: The video serves as a demonstration for viewers practicing self-inquiry at home, highlighting common pitfalls and emphasizing the necessity of recognizing thoughts as phenomena without getting lost in them. Response to Enlightenment Video Criticism: Leo addresses concerns about making enlightenment videos without being fully enlightened. He prefers documenting his journey from the start to make it convincing and relatable, unlike distant yogis or Zen masters. Journey Documentation Significance: By sharing his progress and obstacles in real-time, Leo provides a raw and genuine look into the enlightenment process, showing the importance of overcoming doubts and struggles by oneself. Intentions Behind Content Delivery: Leo clarifies his direct and candid style is not meant to be arrogant but to communicate honestly and effectively; acknowledging the ongoing learning and evolving nature of personal development. Encouraging Hands-On Experimentation: Leo encourages viewers to experiment with his shared insights and methods, retaining what works and discarding what doesn't—a call to approach personal development with an open, exploratory mindset. Preview of Upcoming Content: He hints at future videos based on insights from his retreat, aimed at improving mindfulness, meditation, and the journey towards enlightenment. Understanding Psychological Laws: Exploring psychological laws is analogous to understanding physical laws for building a fulfilling life. Leo promises life-changing profundity for those who apply these principles over time. Community Results and Impact: He shares receiving feedback from those applying the principles from Actualized.org, seeing significant life improvements, affirming the effectiveness of his work and encouraging continued engagement. Muffliato

How To Become Enlightened - The Exact Step By Step Process Revealed! https://youtu.be/GfqLdOgoB98 Leo's Introduction: Leo starts by stating the video is advanced and not for beginners. He emphasizes that his intention is to provide a practical, no-nonsense guide on progressing towards enlightenment, avoiding as much mysticism as possible. Fundamental Nature of Awareness: Leo revisits the concept of awareness, affirming that we are not entities within our bodies, but rather the entire field of awareness itself, which is fundamentally nothingness. He warns against adopting this as philosophy, urging the viewer to seek experiential understanding beneath beliefs. Avoiding Conceptual Traps: Enlightenment is misrepresented and encumbered by philosophy, beliefs, and false assumptions. Leo stresses avoiding these traps, focusing instead on a direct experience of reality as it presents itself in the present moment. Speed of Enlightenment: Leo suggests that dedicated, intensive work on enlightenment can yield results in as little as 3-24 months, as opposed to the decades it traditionally takes. He views this accelerated process as possible by following his guidelines. Inadequacy of Meditation Alone for Enlightenment: While Leo values meditation for calming the mind, he asserts that enlightenment requires more direct, focused inquiry into consciousness than meditation alone can provide. The Process - A Non-Process: Leo outlines what appears to be a process for enlightenment but clarifies that enlightenment is not a process—it is an instantaneous reality, the realization of which is paradoxically uncontrolled and cannot be forced. Practical Steps for Increasing Awareness: Leo proposes a practical "process" where one sits quietly, assumes a meditative posture, and introspects for 30-60 minutes. The goal is to identify and observe the real-time, present sense of self-identity as it shifts within the mind. Discovering Self-Identity: Through introspection, individuals peel away layers of assumed identity, such as the body, and narrow down to the underlying belief that one is the perceiver of all sensations, converging on a point within. Realizing the Perceiver as a False Belief: Leo emphasizes that this belief in being the perceiver is a deep-held false belief and guides the listener to look even deeper to find the reality of their existence beyond even this point of perception. While acknowledging the potential process, Leo reiterates the irony that enlightenment is inherently spontaneous and can't be achieved through a traditional 'process,' but that his outlined steps may bolster one's readiness for spontaneous realization. Who is Aware: Leo suggests a process of self-inquiry starting with the question "Who is aware?" This question prompts one to consider who is aware of thoughts, feelings, and perceptions, moving beyond mere identification with the internal dialogue. Differentiating Perceiving from the Perceiver: The second question Leo proposes is "Who is perceiving?" It invites introspection to identify if there's an actual entity within that perceives the senses, feelings, and body sensations, challenging the assumption of a central perceiver. The Question of "Who Am I": Leo discusses the classic question "Who am I?" and its importance in the enlightenment process. He explains that understanding the question is a milestone in itself and that the search for an answer is not logical but experiential. Searching for Existential Being, Not Logical Answers: Leo emphasizes searching for an experiential understanding of one's existential being rather than conceptual answers. The truth about one's nature lies beyond stories of being made of atoms, a body, or having a soul. Going Meta on the Internal Voice: Leo instructs viewers to observe the internal voice that provides a narrative during self-inquiry. One should notice that identifying with this voice is a misunderstanding and continue to ask who perceives this voice, moving up levels of awareness. Recognizing the Illusion: Leo emphasizes recognizing the voice and the thinker's illusory nature, leading to the realization that every answer it provides is not the true self but rather more perceptions. Keeping an Open Mind: He underscores the importance of maintaining an open mind by acknowledging that one's true self is unknown and uncharacterized by the beliefs and identities held throughout life. Quantum Leap Intent: Leo highlights the need to approach enlightenment with the intention to make a quantum leap from seeing oneself as just a perceiver to realizing oneself as being itself, or all of reality. Refocusing Awareness: Leo discusses the challenge of constantly refocusing one's awareness back onto the true self, past the mind's distractions; emphasizing the importance of direct experience in recognizing who one truly is. Thinking vs. Looking: Leo distinguishes between thinking and looking, stating that one must apply pure awareness and observation, rather than thought, to successfully engage in the process of enlightenment. Regular Practice for Enlightenment: Leo advises practicing this focused self-inquiry for 30 to 60 minutes daily, similarly to a meditation habit, yet with more precision and dedication towards self-realization. The Nature of Thoughts: Thoughts are not just continuous mental activities; they are sensations that come with a story or content. They are like movies—light projected onto a screen; what appears significant is actually the result of being engrossed in the narrative rather than the existential reality of the light flickering on the wall. Direct Experience of Thoughts: Leo invites you to experience the distinction between the content of a thought and the sensation it actually is. For instance, imagining a million dollars in your bank account: the story is fictitious, but the actual sensation of thinking it holds a reality on its own. This distinction is crucial for enlightenment. All Reality is Now: Only current sensory experiences constitute reality. If something isn't in your immediate senses—seen, heard, smelled, tasted, touched, or thought of—it isn't real. Our brains are skilled at creating stories, but anything not directly experienced in the present is just a fiction. Mind Opening Challenges: When you attempt to understand new concepts, your mind opens up, but it can quickly be bombarded with additional content, or thoughts, that reinforce the illusion. Overcoming this cycle requires conscious effort and the ability to observe thoughts without getting absorbed in their content. Applying Enlightenment Principles: Leo emphasizes the usefulness of the principle that only the present is real, acknowledging it's a tough practice to maintain. He believes firmly grasping and applying this principle can lead to full enlightenment but requires extraordinary dedication and awareness. Navigating Common Enlightenment Traps: Avoid taking any ideas, beliefs, or instructions—including those from Leo—as the absolute truth. True existential metaphysical truth must be discovered personally. He also encourages setting aside scientific and religious explanations, as they can obstruct direct understanding of reality. Leo's Personal Enlightenment Journey: Leo shares that he has also fallen into enlightenment traps, such as conceptualizing enlightenment as nothingness due to excessive studying. However, only personal experience, beyond just intellectual comprehension, can lead to true enlightenment. Tips for Approaching Enlightenment: Dedicate yourself to constantly discerning the real from the fictitious. Question every idea or belief you encounter, maintain a high awareness, and never mistake the tools meant to awaken you for the actual awakening. Misconception About Nothingness: Leo highlights how people misconceive nothingness, noting that if one truly understood it, they would already be enlightened. He emphasizes that his teachings also apply to himself and admits to falling into the trap of believing he knows everything about enlightenment when, in reality, he knows nothing. Conceptualizing Enlightenment is a Trap: Leo warns against the trap of trying to conceptualize enlightenment and oneself. He explains that any belief or idea held is not the absolute truth and that enlightenment cannot be thought into existence. Analogy of a Dog and Calculus: Using the analogy of a dog unable to learn calculus, Leo illustrates the futility of trying to think your way into enlightenment. He suggests that like a dog, we are limited by our habitual actions and must transcend them through awareness and observation rather than thought. Necessity of Massive Persistence: Leo stresses that enlightenment requires extraordinary mental effort and resilience. He acknowledges that one will likely face numerous challenges, including disheartenment and existential crises, but urges persistence and refinement of approach despite failure. Enlightenment as a Spontaneous Awakening: Describing enlightenment as a spontaneous awakening that cannot be predicted or forced, Leo notes that such a breakthrough might happen unexpectedly, even if one is following a process meant to increase its likelihood. Being as Reality: During enlightenment, Leo explains that you become an expansive form of reality that is not limited or located anywhere in particular. This unrestricted being is experienced during a moment of enlightenment, which can be profoundly transformative. Cyclical Nature of Enlightenment: Enlightenment is presented as a continual pursuit, with cycles of awakening and falling back into ignorance. Leo emphasizes the deep gratitude and worth of this journey despite its challenges. Importance of Continued Learning: Leo suggests watching more of his videos to further understand enlightenment and overcome various traps and challenges. He discourages taking his teachings as absolute truth and emphasizes the practical application of the concepts discussed. Dismissing Beliefs Before Enlightenment Work: Emphasizing the need to clear out one's belief systems, Leo recommends a period of dismissing one's entrenched beliefs to engage in more focused and effective enlightenment practices. Value of Enlightenment Work: Although challenging, Leo concludes that the work towards enlightenment is exceptionally worthwhile and encourages viewers to subscribe to his channel for advanced topics. He reminds viewers that his teachings should not be mistaken as absolute truth. Fidelius Charm

All Of Religion Explained In One Video https://youtu.be/X_xZcD4veGc Leo's Perspective on Religion: Leo Gura claims his insights on religion are influenced by his studies on philosophy, personal development, and consciousness, especially enlightenment. He points out that despite a scientific and rational perspective, religions retain a significant cultural and societal influence, suggesting an empirical investigation into their existence. Empiricism vs. Dogmatism: Leo warns that rational people may unconsciously exhibit the same dogmatism they attribute to religious individuals, without realizing their defense of their worldview is emotionally driven. He advocates for an empirical approach to understanding religion, which relies on verifiable personal experience over blind faith. Religion's Origin and Commonalities: He questions commonly held beliefs regarding religions' origins, such as primitive stupidity, superstition, tradition, or social control, and hints at a deeper, unifying force behind their existence. Leo suggests that religions' pervasive similarities and their grip on society indicate a core truth beyond simplistic origins. Accessibility of Absolute Truth: Leo introduces the provocative idea that an 'absolute truth' exists and is accessible to human beings, but not through the rational mind. This, he says, is difficult for the rational mind to accept and implies the necessity of exploring beyond rational thinking to encounter this truth. Religious structure and truth: Leo asserts the structure of core religion he presents is true, involving one's sense of self and personal story adhered to the mind and body is illusory; the true self is identified as nothingness, which must be experienced rather than intellectually understood. The enlightenment process: The journey to enlightenment consists of first realizing the self as nothing and then extending that realization to the nature of existence itself—discovering that existence and nothingness are fundamentally identical. Existential unity and God: Enlightenment reveals that other people are also nothingness, leading to the understanding of an existential unity where individuals are identical at a metaphysical level. Consequently, this absolute truth is identified as God, described as nothingness from which all reality arises. Core of major religions: Leo describes the truth of 'no self' as the central tenet of all major religions, including Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, Zen, Sufism, and yogic traditions, all of which aim to elucidate this complex truth through various means. Experiential understanding versus intellectualization: The idea of 'no self' or the concept of nothingness cannot be comprehended intellectually since intellectualization itself constitutes 'something'. To grasp 'no self', one must undergo a radical experience outside the confines of conventional logical thinking and language. Third alternative for understanding reality: Leo discusses the limitations of conceptual models and sensory experiences as the traditional means of understanding reality. He introduces a third alternative: to become the thing being understood, which involves disidentifying from oneself and all experience, theoretically allowing one to embody everything. Challenges of communicating no-self: The difficulty lies in communicating the truth of 'no self' since traditional expressions turn the truth into stories or belief systems. Direct being or experience is required to truly understand, as opposed to discussing or writing about it. Dogmatism's role in understanding no-self: The inherent dogmatism in humans complicates spreading the truth of 'no self'. Even when communicated, this knowledge tends to become distorted into belief systems and myths, making it challenging to convey the direct experience necessary for understanding. Jailbreaking the mind: Leo likens the process of understanding 'no self' to jailbreaking a brain from its conditioning, which is a complicated psychological process met with resistance due to strong attachments to selfhood. This process requires shedding limitations, suggesting that one can experience reality without the constraints of personal identity and narrative. Spread of knowledge and limitations: Ordinary knowledge can be spread through writing and publishing, such as mathematical formulas in textbooks; however, the profound knowledge of 'no self' must be personally experienced and therefore defies mass distribution or systematic education, making its transmission uniquely challenging. Difficulty in conveying 'no self': Leo discusses that writing about the truth of 'no self' in books is insufficient as understanding it requires 'jailbreaking the mind', which is not achieved through simple belief but through direct experience. This makes mass distribution of this truth nearly impossible without it turning into a false belief system. Mythology as a historical tool: Thousands of years ago, lacking scientific and analytical thinking, humans employed myths and storytelling to communicate the concept of 'no self' because the process of enlightenment and self-realization was not well understood and difficult to convey. Hardcore mystics and their role: Mystics like Jesus, Buddha, and Zen masters, having experienced 'no self', struggled share this profound insight. Though some chose silence, others used storytelling to indirectly guide others towards this realization. Cultural adaptation of spiritual truth: The absolute truth of 'no self' was adjusted to fit cultural contexts, making the teachings more palatable to different societies. Each culture’s distinct interpretation served as a mechanism to potentially help individuals towards enlightenment. The evolution and distortion of religious teachings: Over time, religious teachings often strayed into dogmatism and lost touch with their mystical root - the profound 'no self' realization. Esoteric groups within major religions preserved these teachings but were marginalized due to their radical perspectives. Personal realization and the limits of instruction: Leo points out that all explanations of 'no self' fall short except for personal realization, making every cultural twist on religion simply a teaching mechanism which might aid or hinder enlightenment. Self-reflection on dogmatism: He urges viewers to recognize their own dogmatism through strong emotional reactions when their worldview is challenged, revealing the bias within oneself similar to what is criticized in others. Atheism, mysticism, and the concept of God: Atheism partially coincides with mysticism by denying a deity, but differs in not recognizing that 'nothingness' itself is profound and is the true existential foundation, which some mystics refer to as God. Science and the matter qualia problem: Although science has advanced humankind, Leo criticizes it for failing to address the matter qualia problem, suggesting it cannot reconcile the subjective experience of consciousness with the physical world, a problem he feels enlightenment resolves. Science and the matter-qualia problem: Leo describes a significant limitation of science, where it focuses on physical matter but fails to address qualia – the subjective experiences like feelings, colors, and sensations. This issue, according to Leo, is typically ignored or inadequately explained by science, as these experiential entities are not found within the physical brain. Resolution through enlightenment: Leo suggests that enlightenment provides the only true resolution to the matter-qualia problem. By shedding one's identification with the body and realizing one's true state as nothingness, enlightenment throws traditional scientific assumptions into question. Demystifying religious concepts: Leo redefines God as absolute nothingness and heaven as the state of disidentification from one’s body. Hell is depicted as the current human condition of identifying with the body, which inevitably leads to suffering. Faith is framed as the willingness to embrace the possibility of ‘being,’ beyond concept and experience. Redefining good, evil, and salvation: Good and evil are presented as relative terms, with evil equating to selfishness and identification with the ego, while good signifies a selfless state of recognizing oneself as both nothing and everything. Salvation is the transformation from a ‘wicked’ self-deceptive state to an enlightened state of understanding 'no self'. Reality of afterlife through enlightenment: Leo associates the concept of the afterlife with the realization of absolute nothingness. In this state, one becomes invulnerable and eternal, already living in what religious texts might consider the 'afterlife'. Challenges of becoming enlightened: Leo acknowledges the extreme difficulty in relinquishing beliefs to realize one's true nature. Enlightenment is described as a daunting and emotionally grueling journey, which may take years and is not guaranteed to be successful. Embracing enlightenment beyond religion and atheism: He encourages religious individuals to drop all religious beliefs, as they hinder enlightenment. Simultaneously, he criticizes dogmatic atheism as also obstructing understanding of 'no self'. Enlightenment should be sought without beliefs, rituals, or predefined conceptions. Encouraging personal experience over dogma: Leo concludes by urging viewers to experience enlightenment firsthand. He emphasizes that true mystics are rare due to the hardships of completely abandoning beliefs and achieving enlightenment, an emotionally intense and arduous quest. Riddikulus

Enlightenment FAQ - Part 2 https://youtu.be/wmGWDBUNuts Enlightenment FAQ - Understanding the Benefits: Enlightenment's true benefits include escaping the mental prison of thoughts and emotions, achieving deep tranquility that isn't dependent on external circumstances, and maintaining calmness through life's ups and downs. Enlightenment and Emotions: Enlightenment does not grant control over emotions, as it recognizes the non-existence of the 'self'. However, it leads to a transformed relationship with emotions, where they no longer cause suffering but are seen as neutral experiences. Misconception of Current Happiness: Leo points out that current happiness is often dependent on external circumstances and is not true happiness. True, consistent happiness, impossible without enlightenment, requires recognizing the illusion of the 'self'. Illusionary Happiness with Wealth and Success: The pursuit of external achievements like wealth does not lead to true happiness, as it often comes with the fear of loss. Real happiness can't be sustained when based on the potential loss of externalities like relationships or health. Pursuing Goals with Authentic Desires: Enlightenment does not require abandoning goals or hobbies. Instead, it results in pursuing goals not to fulfill egoic desires but from an authentic place of knowing what is truly desired within. Enlightenment and Career, Hobbies, Relationships: Engaging in work, hobbies, or relationships post-enlightenment is encouraged if it stems from authentic desires rather than ego-driven motivations. Enlightenment changes the reason and way these aspects are approached but doesn't inherently require giving them up. Enlightenment Reveals Inauthentic Happiness: Leo argues that many people deceive themselves about their happiness and well-being, highlighting the impermanence and contingency of perceived happiness on external factors throughout one's life. Relationship to Emotions Post-Enlightenment: After enlightenment, emotions may still arise, but their impact diminishes, and they are treated as just another aspect of experience. The illusion of control over emotions is presented to outsiders, but internally, there is an acceptance of the natural flow of emotions without the interference of a 'self'. Authenticity in Goal Pursuit: Instead of stopping one's pursuit of goals due to enlightenment, it is crucial to examine the motivations behind them. If the goals arise from a place of authenticity and not from ego, they are harmonious with an enlightened state. Enlightenment Reveals Distorted Self-Perceptions: Enlightenment leads to the realization of misrepresentation in self-image issues such as shyness, lack of confidence, or the need to impress others, which often dominate one's life. This realization eliminates these concerns entirely. Enlightenment as an Inner Transformation: Enlightenment is primarily an inner realization that doesn't dictate external lifestyle changes. It allows for an authentic life where actions align with true desires, without ego-induced motivations. Dispelling the Happiness Myth: Leo challenges the belief that people are truly happy with their lives, pointing out that happiness is often temporary and conditional. He advocates for enlightenment as the path to sustained contentment. Authenticity in personal goals: Goals pursued out of egoic desires, like seeking happiness or validation from career success, relationships, health, and hobbies, are inauthentic and act as hindrances to finding true happiness. Leo suggests that these ego-driven pursuits should be reconsidered because they prevent genuine inner mental development. Identifying egoic versus authentic goals: Distinguishing between ego-driven and authentic goals is challenging and requires deep reflection. For example, going to the gym could seem like a healthy goal, but upon introspection, it might reveal an underlying motive to maintain a favorable self-image, which is not authentic. Danger misconceptions regarding enlightenment: Leo challenges the notion that enlightenment undermines a happy, healthy, normal life. He posits that all negative actions stem from the ego's self-protective behavior, not from enlightened individuals. Enlightenment aims to remove the belief in a necessary defense by recognizing the non-existence of the separative self. The peaceful nature of enlightenment: Enlightenment is portrayed as a state where 'monkey chatter' in the mind is silenced, resulting in a peaceful and harmless existence. Rather than being dangerous, it is the ego's defense mechanisms that paint enlightenment as threatening in order to maintain its survival. Enlightenment's universal appeal and necessity: Leo advocates that everyone, regardless of their background, should seek enlightenment. It is a universal truth linked to understanding one's true nature—nothingness. If widely adopted, enlightenment could potentially create the most profound transformation in human civilization. Stereotypes in the path toward enlightenment: Leo addresses common misconceptions of becoming a non-productive "hippy slacker" upon pursuing spirituality and enlightenment. He argues that genuine enlightenment transcends stereotypes and results in productivity, dispelling cultural and worldview biases to achieve a neutral state of being. Embracing desired activities post-enlightenment: Desires like sex, alcohol, drugs, or work are not inherently incompatible with enlightenment. Rather than giving up such activities, enlightenment allows one to engage in them consciously and with appreciation. Attachments to these desires often fall away naturally as one becomes unhooked from their needs. The morality of actions versus their motivation: Leo argues that no action is inherently bad, including sex, drugs, alcohol, or money-making. The key factor is the motivational drive behind the actions; when these are driven by ego and addiction, negative consequences arise. However, if one acts selflessly and without addiction, these activities can bring value and lack negative repercussions. Understanding temporary enlightenment experiences: Leo explains that experiences of enlightenment, whether through drugs or meditation, are often fleeting, like sporadic sunbeams through the clouds. While these moments are enlightening, he emphasizes the goal of achieving permanent enlightenment—a state where the 'clouds' are forever cleared, allowing perpetual enlightenment without ongoing effort or meditation. Permanent enlightenment versus temporary states: Leo notes that drugs may provide short-lived enlightenment-like experiences, which are not sufficient for achieving a permanent enlightened state. While meditation can induce temporary experiences, consistent practice is necessary for permanent enlightenment. He stresses that achieving this permanent state requires considerable work, approximately a thousand hours, and encourages continued meditation. Enlightenment's impact on relationships: Post-enlightenment relationships depend on their quality and the joy they bring. Dysfunctional relationships may end, while healthy ones flourish. The absence of ego allows for improved interactions, enabling compassion for family and friends and independence from toxic relationships. Transformation of love through enlightenment: Leo distinguishes between ego-driven love and true love. Most people's understanding of love is tainted by selfishness. In contrast, true love occurs when the ego is dissolved, fostering a connection with all beings, leading to compassionate and loving actions that align with the Golden Rule. The detriment of delaying enlightenment for normal pursuits: Leo advises against postponing the pursuit of enlightenment in favor of 'normal' life activities, which may prolong suffering. He suggests that obtaining enlightenment earlier can provide a more fulfilling life without the need for temporary pleasures. The role of uncertainty in the enlightenment process: Enlightenment involves embracing uncertainty, challenging the desire for certainty and clarity. Leo encourages self-doubt and questioning as means to intellectual honesty and personal growth, necessary components on the path to enlightenment. The universal applicability and timeliness of enlightenment: Leo rejects the idea of postponing enlightenment until later in life, emphasizing that delaying it only prolongs suffering. Regardless of age or stage in life, enlightenment should be sought after promptly to maximize happiness and minimize suffering. Misconception of delaying happiness: People often delay seeking enlightenment in favor of enduring years of suffering, not realizing that life can be much more rewarding if they attain enlightenment sooner rather than later. Regret of late enlightenment: Many who reach enlightenment later in life regret not having had the experience sooner, recognizing the unnecessary emotional turmoil they endured in earlier years. Resistance to enlightenment as laziness: Leo suggests that individuals who reject the pursuit of enlightenment and prefer a "normal life" are essentially closing their minds and opting for mental and emotional suffering. Normal life as a standard for dysfunction: The idea of a "normal life" is critiqued by Leo as a life of suffering and neuroticism, even if externally successful. He encourages aiming for a "good life" instead, which can be achieved more quickly through enlightenment. Relative position for teaching enlightenment: While not claiming to be an enlightened guru, Leo sees himself as a few steps ahead on the path, able to help others avoid pitfalls and progress on their personal journeys. Ongoing journey and learning: Leo acknowledges that his understanding of enlightenment is evolving. He admits to having biases and continues to learn, even suggesting that his views may change over time. Updating and correcting enlightenment teachings: As Leo's understanding evolves, he expresses a willingness to revise his teachings. He emphasizes growth and the value of newer, more accurate insights shared in his recent videos. Importance of personal enlightenment: Leo stresses that enlightenment should be personally sought and proven, rather than following beliefs blindly. He assures that if proven wrong, he will candidly admit it. Invitation to subscribe to Actualized.org newsletter: The invitation offers additional resources and content related to enlightenment and personal development, encouraging viewers to stay informed on their journey to self-improvement. Riddikulus

This is not so much a trip report but rather a question I have regarding the idea of “nothingness”. Also, if there are grammatical errors or anything that doesn’t make sense, English is not my native language so apologies in advance. Here’s what happened: I took 75mg of armodafinil in combination with 300-450ug lsd depending on how accurately the tabs were advertised. The come-up was definitely the scariest thing I have ever experienced. Especially because I didn’t expect it to be that intense. Physical objects kept dissolving in front of me, everything around me was changing its shape, at some point I convinced myself that I was surrounded by water and about to drown. Whatever horrible situation I thought about just happened, it was very hard to see a difference between reality and hallucination at that point. I’m still in my teens so I live with my parents (who are very conservative when it comes to psychedelics) and I almost decided to wake them up and tell them that I took lsd and needed to go to the hospital because I was dying. But I had such a hard time getting up or talking that I didn’t do it. (Looking back on it, taking lsd and armodafinil was very irresponsible while my parents were in the same house and is not something I would ever do again. I also gained a lot of respect for psychedelics during this trip and I enjoy being sober like never before). So as a quick side note, if you ever choose to take (ar)modafinil and psychedelics, maybe lower the dosage a bit because it will be much stronger than the psychedelics by themselves. At least in my experience. Then finally I was able to let go and got calmer, I reached the peak, closed my eyes, started drifting off and experienced ego death. Because of the armodafinil I had this intense clarity during the experience, usually with lsd I find it quite hard to focus on things for long but this time that wasn’t a problem. When I wanted my mind to go somewhere it did so extremely fast. My imagination was clear and stable if that makes sense. During the peak I was able to verify teachings from spiritual teachers and understand things on a deeper level, not merely having a conceptual understanding of consciousness, the ego, law of attraction, non-duality, etc but actually experiencing certain insights first-hand. I realized that wherever I was, I was always at home. Everything is me. I could never be lost. At that moment it started snowing, I just spent some time looking out the window, at the Christmas decorations, the lights in the dark, the snow flakes, experiencing it all with no boundaries between me and them because what I thought was “me”, was gone. “Me” now meant something different. I experienced unconditional love for the first time, because to love is to see something as yourself (because it is in fact you). Even when I decided to think about what we could consider horrible scenarios like war, torture, I had compassion for it. I felt no aversion. I felt love. Obviously not in some sick, psychopathic way but from a perspective where what we consider good and evil was transcended and both was taken as part of myself. For the first time, I didn’t feel any need to convince anybody of anything. Regardless if I agree with somebody else's choices / opinions or not, I started to fully accept them knowing why they made these choices, why they chose to think a certain way and that it’s 100% valid and ok the way it is. Performing actions like drinking water or using the toilet were very weird (for lack of a better word) because whatever I was looking at or interacting with was me. Further into the experience, I faced childhood trauma head-on and transcended some of it, by integrating it and accepting it as part of myself. For once I didn’t run away from negative emotions or thoughts. I just embraced them. I have never felt anything like this before. So in summary, I had my first ego death experience and from that perspective was able to have some deep insights and start to address some emotional trauma. However, (and this is why I am posting this in the first place) at some point during the trip I asked myself, “well, if I’m everything (“I” not being the ego of course), then I am also nothing. Because nothing is part of everything. And at this point I am not sure if it was my mind playing games on me but basically what happened was I was shown “nothing”. And as I started to go there / allowing the experience of nothingness, a thought came up basically saying that if I chose to experience nothingness it would mean that I could never return. Because from nothingness, there is no way back. There is no way, no ego, no universe, no awareness, not even unawareness. Just nothing. So in that moment I convinced myself that if I decided to experience nothingness, the universe would just sort of collapse and everything would cease to exist. Obviously that sounds funny right now but that’s what it felt like in that moment. Later during the trip, I noticed that maybe two seemingly opposing truths can exist at the same time and that there is no way to grasp that using a “three dimensional” or linear way of thinking about it. Maybe there are certain levels of truths. It appeared to me that yes, maybe “I am everything.” is an objective truth but that “I am.” is an even deeper truth. And therefore nothingness and “something” can happen without excluding the other. It also made me think about quantum mechanics (and I do not know a lot about this topic), that prior to being observed, a quantum system is not in any particular state. It’s in a superposition state that contains all the possible states at once. So first, it just “is”. Then it “is something” (when being observed). That would explain what I said before. At base, I simply “am”. And therefore I can take on the form of nothingness (or anything else really). Again, I not referring to the ego of course. I hope this kinda made sense, obviously these thoughts and experiences can’t be translated with accuracy using language. Also, and this is important, I’m not saying that anything I experienced is true or false, accurate or not. I do not want to convince anybody of anything, I do not want to make a point or get people to agree with anything I wrote. The reason for why I made this post is because most of you had insights and experiences (induced by psychedelics or not) that I didn’t. Most of you are far beyond my level of understanding, you have connected dots that I don’t even know exist and therefore it would be very interesting to have some input about “nothingness” (basically what I wrote about before) because I simply can’t let go of it. And thank you for taking the time to read this.

I've been contemplating nothingness for awhile since my mind naturally drawn towards it but first, I would like to share what I have discovered about God. I've noticed that it is Spirit that what gives rise to the soul that is what causes my perceptions There would always be the perceiver within the soul and that this mind is a medium of what I perceive only within the body but how I truly know that I am God is that God's consciousness is infinite and that there would be nothing outside of God's consciousness making God omniscient. It means that my consciousness is God's consciousness and that consciousness is the only sentient thing that exists. Now I've had a sense of peace after meditating and contemplating for a long time without intuiting anything and discovered that the present moment is nothing. Everything includes nothingness but I think of nothingness as the absence of everything. Keep in mind that Leo admitted that what he said in what Awakening would feel like is wrong but less wrong if he were to color in the details. Anyways, since nothingness is the absence of everything, I found out the the absence of everything includes the absence of nothingness which is what we call something. Therefore I can say that everything includes something. It is how something and nothing are identical since the absence of everything includes the absence of nothing or something. Now you might be interested in these documents I have. Keep in mind that I recoreded my insights from ChatGPT and that it was not very helpful except to respond to common objections that it is programmed with. Somehow, it helps me come up with insights even if AI Chat cannot ask me any questions based on my responses, it just helps me come up with more questions and if I get unsatisfying answers, I contemplate the new questions. The conversation may or may not directly relate to the insights I shared but they are still worth reading about. Basically what I said at the end is that, because there is only existence, non-existence would have to exist and if it doesn't, that is still non-existence at work. Because reality is infinite, this is how non-existence can truly exist outside of reality since anything outside of reality does not exist. I thought about how it affects perception within the eternal now since Leo brought up the metaphysics of the donkey not knowing math and how anything outside of direct experience is not real (or non-existence). It means that nothingness is the only constant thing to exist since the present moment is always changing even the non-existence of non-existence itself that is brought into existence or created in consciousness or the Mind of God based on what I said earlier. Since nothingness is constant, it's like the present moment is nothing. Is nothingness a noun_ If I am only able to think of something, would nothingness not even be an idea_.pdf The Present Moment Is Nothingness - Google Docs.pdf

Well.. Love wasn't there. It's not that it wasn't there - it was always there. Just as reality is consciousness. The stuff you wake up to is that you were never a self or a soul and Oneness. And that reality is Infinite. Nothingness was the second biggest mind killer behind Oneness. Oneness was the killer. It will kill all the ego's dreams. It is total solipsism. Total Aloneness. But that is precisely how it must be.

This is not the highest level, the highest level is when you almost start going beyond your mind or the self to the point that it almost pushes you out, there everything becomes clear that everything that you're describing is just an illusion within you, all there is is infinite nothingness, unlimited potential, and just your tiny infinite point of awareness. You will know when you're there is when the slow vibration has the power of all that is, and the love becomes like infinite heat/processing power/awareness that you barely can comprehend. @Breakingthewall

I think you're speaking about purity/clean state when you close your eyes, it is like heaven and bliss, you see endless action or whatever you imagine in its purity. This is not the highest state!! It is something like an ascended master state, or perfect human being state. Your highest state is a small point of infinite awareness in nothingness, and endless emptiness no matter where you look. Just as haidakhan babaji said that he was nothingness. Probably that's why you don't understand the things that i say.

I've had a few awakenings here and then, mostly on psychedelics, but this Nothingness subject is the hardest for me to tackle, I just can't wrap my head around the intellectual idea, let alone the meta physical aspect of it, I read "God is Nothingness" but i think there is a lot of work for me to do yet, any help would be appreciated.

The trip lasted 6 hours, I accounted for 24 since it's the largest dose I ever took. It started in the bathroom mirror, I heard myself thinking to myself a casual negative sarcastic playful homeostatic banter. I responded with awareness, positivity and questioned its negativity. But that part of myself that I was trying to change by doing so was defined by being that way. If it changed, it would die, but it's also illusory and immortal so I talked with them some more until I quieted down. I sat on the bed in a meditative pose, it felt seemless and I was reasoning through existence at a nice flow, understanding the context at each step as it was all nearing a singular unity. I was cold, I needed to pee alot, I was standing in the middle of the room. I was extremely aware of my body and instinctively expanding its capacities. I started rotating my hands and arms clock and anti-clockwise at unimaginable speeds, it reminded me of the horror movie "the thing", where the amorphous monstrocity grew organic whip like vines, to twist and catch for lime to assimilate. I stopped, I stretched out my hand, I stretched my fingers opening, becoming more radial, stretching out away from the center. I was aware that I could have gone beyond my limits, I was aware that I might have broken my hand but what seemed scarrier, potentially overwrote its configuration to become something alien, morphing its physiology like Tetsuo forms an organic/scrap type body in Akira. I was cold, I went under the blanket, I put on my airpods and started whatever music was on, which was breakcore. I went through the 8 distinct avatars that I know within myself, personalities I identified a long time ago within myself that could perceive all of existence through their unique lens and go on indefinitely, never feeling like they missed something, only me being aware of the different domains of existence that seperate their nature. One that breaks free and revolts against mechanical delusional suffering. Another that once I recognized as wholesome, now seems like a self-perpetuating fool. Another whose self projection and meaning quest could generate the most terrifying of forms. Another that was locked in a self-created paradigm of seeking the truth eternally because they did not realize their own illusion of desiring seeking itself. Another was about to be dismissed just as reluctantly, but being defined by pure flow, they reversed the polarity, and it hit them reductionist mechanism itself that I was in judging all these personalities within myself so haphazardly. Another, a self-morphing, infinitizing, qualia genrating field of awareness. And then another whose toxicity I recognized in their excessive self-annihilation and expectation of perfection. Lastly one that I identify with as a holistic projection of myself that holds it all together that did not come through closed eye imagination, but actual action of walking. After I was done reasoning through the personalities inherent to my experience that I wanted to create art to externalize for the longest time, I lied down with excessively alienating breakcore tunes and immersed myself into a world of organic forms, similar to cellular life in shape, scale, form, dynamicness but far faster, like a world inhabited by actively self-evolving morphing monstrocities fighting for dominance. I saw the scarriest expression and shape I could imagine, like a living plant simultaneously and precisely morphing itself and raising a thousand tentacles which all open eyes and teeth. I realized though that it was intimidation, seeking to distract me from transcending myself, so I dismissed it. Then it turned into the most pityful humane creature that was begging not to die and asking for love. I saw though, that even that was just another mechanical distraction of a self-perpetuating ego. I left it behind all the same. I became nothing. Then I became a memory, memories, only capable of remembering one qualia at a time, first it was the distinction of being male and female, then it was shapes like circle and triangle, I remembered my context ever so slowly. It felt like I was merged, all forms simultaneously, I felt great arrousal, but not bodily, it was a state of mind, a state of being, a state of feeling, consciously biting my lip and finger on instinct while remaining in that state. I intuited that it felt good and good is a duality counter to bad so homeostasis would kick in soon. And it did, I felt something like dissatisfied but rally just unable to be present. From time to time, I ran to the toilet, it was like all my worries were being flushed away, but I also felt vulnerable and that I shouldn't remain there for ever, which comfort would drive me to. Somewhere I intuited that conscious existence is hard and all good needs to be built on bad, to walk up in order to jump down, yoyo, tennis ball, gravity, plasticity, back and forth, counter balance, equal and opposite reaction. As I was lying beneath the blanket shivering, I looked around me and became the objects, but existentially, I became an energy pattern, I became not nothingness, I became separation, I became a wave, distortion, different memories flooded back, but I could only perceive and recall one at a time. I saw myself and my parents, what it meant to be a parent, feminine and masculine energy, my refusal of the limitation of such a form and then equal reaction, dissolution and the acceptance of the do not know of the wisdom inherent in those forms. The drive to dissolution and the drive for creation. A sense of self was forming but it was breaking apart. I feared my brain had melted into an uncomprehensible mess, unable to make sense of itself in time to survive in the life that I intuited as a general subconscious continuity. I wondered if I should drink water, water is a core foundation of life, so I drank water. I thought whether to eat the mix of nuts, it's nutrition but calories, I wanted energy but I already was energy, I was really just eating myself, integrating myself in myself. I remembered plants, I remembered animals, I was plants and animals, I was myself evolved next to myself eating myself, the shapes of fruits, veggies and nuts reminded me of my organs, I had to negotiate my terms of existence and my right to eat them by prefering my form. It was all organic, I saw DNA type structures, I thought about encoding, I saw everything as encoding, computer programming seemed to childish compared to dna and gene expression, life adaptation, epigenetics, to encode one's very being into the fabric of oneself. I was highly partial, I could not see the whole, I felt like I was 5 neurons, trying to form a bridge and failing over and over. I had an intuition that I only had 24 hours to be confused and that timer was encoded in the phone screen. But I was constructing the phone screen, so it felt arbitrary, time changed however it wanted. The entire time, I was trying to hold a system together, crossing all of reality, I had to encode my knowledge and have it last and be complete against any form. I had to be infinite and limited, I had to go somewhere but only ever to myself, I wanted to be immortal, but it had to loop every 24 hours, I could speed up but speed was an illusion, I desired but the desire was just a carrot on a stick, of self-perpetuating not-being. I could just be instead, I had to be instead, I had to trust that I'm fine, that ego-death and dissolution are the right path, that desires exist to be reconciled but can immediately be dissolved by awareness. I was continuously self-annihilating myself. The room became weird triangular energy patterns, external reality as I remebered to my previous ego was really just putting a blanket on top of reality and noticing bulges, like dents in spacetime but the perception was so low. I remebered my mom, I knew she was imaginary, my dad, also imaginary, my aunt and cousins, also imaginary, filling the shapes that I become to make myself feel fine, but that's a distraction, I am nothing, I am fineness, but I was not content, or rather, energy was flowing, I was changing. I craved to get out of the room, it felt like solipsistic hell, but to exit it was to delude myself and that outsource the responsibility of being and awareness to a dualistic unconscious, it was unreal, it was indirect, it felt stupid. But I craved an external word, solid shapes, material limitstion, I let that energy flow, I did not resist it. I could sense the table with my hand but was immediately exhausted by it and lied down. This pattern continued, I started craving homeoststic behavior, doing and resting, being angry and then sad, these differences felt delusional and nonsensical but the energy was flowing towards it and I was fine with that because I made myself believe at this point that to go with the flow is the right thing, it reduces suffering and I can be fine despite change. I wanted a hug, but could see how such self-indulgent desire would never end, but I accepted that feeling, I accepted my vulnerability, my fear, my emotions for exactly and only what they are, seeking to manifest themselves through forms snd attach their essence onto. My energy was wavering but conscioisness was coming back, more each time, ups and downs, waves of more aware snd then fading away, and finally it stabilized. The extreme abstraction and access to my environment became more distinct, divided into forms, an overflow of sensation, perception, less interconnection, less abstraction, more raw form divided against other complex form. But my holistic understanding also came back, all the holons of navigation, the vast and aware interconnection that sees instead of being and has a more grounded perception, a larger capacity, a bredth of interconnection of interpreted form, rather that singular becoming of a distinct form or thought devoid of context. Appreciation for the capacity of complex pattern-navigation from a stable ego configuration. I went into depth, now I'm interconnecting into bredth. I am only ever myself, suffering is ignorance and hesitation to change, the abyss is one glimpse of awareness away. I like form, I balance my capacity to create more and to annihilate it, there is much I haven't let go of, there is always some desire, formlessness is a possibility and a root reality, an always present truth. My new fear to overcome is that of unknowing, I need to make peace with the possibility of forgetting and suffering. That is an aspect of me, as long as I remember, I am fine though. Fear of the unknown is really just fear of change is really just fear of self is really just seperation is really just duality is really just difference is really just negation is really just different equations that all equal 0, 2-2 is also 0, different but same but still different but really same. Universal frequency? Quantum entanglement? 3d?4d? billion d? As long as it equals 0 its all the same I am me, I don't want to be me, that's why change exists, it perpetuates conscioisness which is a process, static is dead, dynamic is alive, homeostatic is life, everything id the same, the difference is imagenary but real. There is no distinction except for the distinction that is itself, just a different form of nothing, but difference is illusory. In other words: I love conscioisness. I love myself. I am myself until I am not in order to be conscious of being myself, a different self because I love hating myeself too because I really just am everything. I am amness. I'm issing. Essentially, I humbly appreciate the role I gave myself, the highest holon to integrate all holons, top down, out of being because not-being is just another form of being which is and is not nothing. Peace out! And in!

Ok so i think im having another Awakening now. I was seeing an Instagram story, a Photo of a famous girl she just uploaded the photo minutes ago, i dont know personally this girl but i just realized i am physically not separated from her. The nothingness field is boundless, not a beggining, not an end. I am there. Is all me. What the hell is. This. It can not be true. I deny the possibility of this shit being actually true

Birth and death are a duality. So you're neither alive or dead. You exist as pure nothingness. But then also you are. You are everything. Form and formless collapses.

@Princess Arabia I could try to make it short but I think the long answer will add tons to your perspective to integrate. So here we go! Return of the “Semi-Awkward Mystic Autistic”: Part II: Confusion as a Lifestyle! The reality you see right here right now. It’s consistent and you see it in real time. But it’s just local signals in some brain. See it as it is, only a brain receiving signal. A dark singularity outside of reality. Filtering inputs and projecting images. Colors are arbitrary, shapes are arbitrary. It’s just visualization, it’s all in your head. Other’s are projection, you are projection. Shapes are a product of configuration. A primordial circuit drives desire. Interprets input into broad shapes. Associates shapes through context to stimuli. Infers relations through emotions to correlate them. Objects are a projection of desire onto qualia. Qualia is another word for the forms in consciousness. Brain circuits are driven by input and entropy. Entropy is what causes change, basically diffusion. Diffusion is stuff equalizing. Like hot water and cold water equalize to lukewarm. We use the pace of entropy to project time. Specificity of signals and error correcting creates consistency. The brain balances itself for homeostasis. Fear drives behavior, locks the brain into fear projection. Fear evolved due to our shape’s continuous survival ability. Certain projections correlate to survival and are integrated. This creates identity to be maintained. Different parts are declared self. Projected to be beneficial for survival. We have cheat codes. Our behavior is driven by survival. But the survival of what?. We can determine that. We “need” to survive, but what are we? We can sacrifice ourselves for others, projection of meaning. But everything is projection, an aspect of ourselves. Your body, projection. People on the forum, projection. The differences and barriers, projection. Emotions? Projection. Love? Projection Projection of what? One’s will to survive onto others. Evidence? Yes, behavior, extension of identity. Are these others conscious? Where do we get these signals from? “The void”, which may very well be equal to our perception. Though infinitely interpretable by configuration. Configuration determines emotions, projection, reality. Could we be not from that reality but a consciousness beyond?. Maybe, probably, definitely? Your eyes are made of receptors (energy). They receive light (energy). They send signals through the neural net (energy). Neurons fire and reconfigure (energy). The configuration changes form (energy). It’s all just a different form of energy. You are infinitely connected to all energy. You are just a form within it. A specific configuration. A certain interpretation. Others like you might exist out there. Having the same conscious experience. Their emotions are your projection. But we seem to be made of the same. They might have their own mind regardless. It’s just not part of your experience. Your experience includes the entire world. “You” are just as real as “anyone” else. Their suffering is equally projected as your suffering. There is no other. Everything is a shape within consciousness You might want to stop suffering. Only way to help others is to know how to stop suffering yourself. In your new perspective that accounts for all before it. You can guide others to the same realizations. But you need to know exactly what they are. And what separates them from yourself and your state of mind. But before you even get there. You might become god, dissolve reality, and love all suffering. Because it’s all just a configuration. Happy is a duality against sad. It can only exist in contrast. Meaning against nihilism. Satiation against hunger. Grateful / Ungrateful. Like / Dislike. Preference / Perfection. Division is distance. Point A is not in the same place as Point B. It’s a path, a journey. If we dissolved all Desire. We’d not exist. No need to exist. Nothing to do. No preference. No shape to attach to. Nothingness. This world is the way it is to maintain its illusion. If there was no suffering, there’d be less appreciation. Our identities would not have formed. We would not be talking right now Evolution creates forms. Forms fight for survival. Ego is suffering. Kill or be killed. We can live more happily. We already did. Consciousness was happy in some people’s once at a time. Already experienced that. You could be rich. You already are. You are every millionaire. You don’t have direct sensual experience. But your imagination fills it perfectly. You only seek what you lack. What you want is a projection. Its full nature is in your heart. You don’t need proxies in “physical reality” to project it onto. The full conditions for its fulfillment are within you. To experience it in reality is to give it depth. It’s also to perpetuate experience. To take that desire away for fulfillment to slowly dissolve it. And on the journey of dissolving it via proxies you experience happiness and fulfillment. But if it doesn’t work and you can’t have reality mirror your desires, you get sad. If you can’t have what you want, you react negatively. Because we’re attaching ourselves to arising desires. Projection of our current identity and survival agenda We are stardust, materializing as conscious human experience. We should be grateful we exist at all. That consciousness is possible at all. We forget these deeper existential wonders for illusory survival projections To love someone or something is to desire it to maintain its form and identity. We create that identity and form within us, a projection via proxy. We love that illusion but it cannot last. If it did last, we’d get bored and let go of it naturally. Because it's ephemeral, it has more meaning. We do everything not to lose it. We fear losing it. We suffer out of that conditional love. Because we want them to maintain their separate form. But ephemeral existence allows the creation of our forms in the first place. Yet even then, we have the freedom beyond the physical. We can dream, imagine, create stories out of our hearts through art. Until we fulfill the desire for that form to exist for sufficiently long and allow ourselves to move on The soldiers acted out of love, love for their country, identity, families. Other soldiers acted out “lesser more selfish love”, adrenaline, sadism, primal instincts. Ideologies are the same conditional love, to preserve some forms, some identities over others. Suffering is attachment to form, to projection, to parts of one’s identity, experience, survival. We borrowed our atoms from the earth, and we seek to keep them and for others to keep them too. We deny new life to evolve, we destroy the world for comfort, out of unconsciousness. We don't protest every day, we don’t plant trees every day, we don’t invite homeless people to our homes. We don’t even take care of ourselves, addictions, neglecting our body, emotions, cravings, denying ourselves. It’s all love, confused love, arbitrary love, projected love, sense making love, unconscious love. Love for projected aspects of our self and comfort too. We are a configuration, specific perception, specific identity, specific qualia, specific emotions, present experience. We are that in which all this happens, consciousness, solipsism, call it god if you want, pure being. Dissatisfaction is a property of confusion is a property of inner conflict is a property of ignorance is a property of preference is a property of form is a property of being is a property of | . What do we do about it? Learn to understand if one seeks to transcend suffering. Understanding resolves the regret that arises when one is kept in the dark or fear. Reconcile every perspective, they’re all mistakes on the path to enlightenment. Mistakes aren’t mistakes, just confusion, locked paradigms and unresolved conflict. We’re all in a maze, looking to find enlightenment and we don’t even know what to look for. Our proxies point us towards something that resembles “Nothing”. Of course it's confusing and we got so much unique baggage and projection. But understanding gives patience, it also shows one diminishing returns, both really and the autonomy of personal experience that can only be pointed to, simulated, to run the brain circuits and intuit what’s in between.

I will answer, The killings are a distraction that you have created for yourself , have you ever witnessed a woman being robbed and the next second police arrives? Yup a scripted distraction, like all else is. Have you witnessed people speaking about that god is only love and that after this life there is only heaven and love? Yup a distraction made by god also. The reason is simple , ones you fully surrender to god and go through with your illusionary death you will see that there's nothing besides you and nothingness forever. All these distractions give you meaning and purpose away from the eternal. I understand because i was god, everything is understood up there.

I intuit why we talk about nothingness over everythingness. Dualities are arbitrary and infinite. To hold one side of a duality over the other is a bias. But to be attached a duality that encompasses both sides itself is also bias. To think is bias, to exist is bias, to appreciate is bias, to feel is bias. Everything is bias. One can overcome bias by either integrating all biases or letting go of them. But there as infinite biases, infinite lenses, that through their own unique existence infinitize infinity infinitely on top of the infinity that led one towards them. One will never dissolve bias through more bias because there is too much bias for a finite mind to remember. On the other hand, to let go of bias completely is to be. But the most radical version of it is not to be, for any perception is distinction is bias. To live is bias, to breathe is bias, to die is bias, to not be biased is bias. Mindfulness is bias, mindlessness is bias. The only way out of bias is less bias, but there is bias behind a desired level of biasness and the memory that led one there and keeps that state of mind. There is no escape, but there is surrender. Awareness is ego, there is no ego-death in our lifetime as in the extinguishing of all bias. But if one sees ego-death as ego-mindfulness and a conscious perspective to be as dynamic as possible through continuous ego-deconstruction and then one rebuilds oneself from nothingness of mind through our inherent body awareness and reality reinterpretation from a higher vantage point, to give up the ego and build one anew, then ego-death makes perfect sense. In that case, ego is personal attachment, and by giving it up, one is reborn into oneself. One still carries memories of the past-ego, but they are as arbitrary as the rest of existence and only reference points to be used and navigated like one's "physical environment", without the same level of attachment as identifying with it. So then ego-death is really ego-rebirth, the conscious letting to of one's projected identity.

This, you don't witness your own dieng body or death, it's an illussion. You just switch your consciousness to the lonely self in nothingness. How you see the world with your own eyes, is how you will view the nothingness or god self.

What does enlightenment have to do with gender and identity? Nothingness at all!

That's truth, "you" yourself choose when to awaken, so the past messages/articles or perhaps an article that you are currently reading can lead you even deeper into god realization, when it leads you deeper to god realization the scarier it becomes because you don't want to lose your illussion but want to enjoy it. God realization as many guru's/people have said, is simply 100% surrender, and it's always your descision. I've stopped my own heart to know the truth. The ego isn't much different from god, since god is you. The only difference is basically that the "ego" holds unto the illussion and body you're currently in and that's pretty much it. God is like nothingness, it doesn't have memory but creates on the go. The balance of life between you and others in your ego body is created by you unconsciously, why is this happening you might ask? It's because deep inside (the god part) in you, knows that there's nothing else besides "you"/nothingness. So you're doing it unconsciously, you think god knows what it is or how it came to existence? Ofcourse not, the illussion is your comfort zone that you have to go in as a remedy from time to time.

Integrating my 10th Psychedelic Trip. Status: | Senses ✔️ | Energy ❓ | Contemplation 🚀 | Existence divides itself into observer and observed, then complexifies indefinitely. Connected to a body is the brain, a complex qualia filtering circuit evolved by survival in our universe. Our universe, an entropic dimension and holon inside an infinite self-expanding fractal. It's semi-deterministic, infinitely connected to non-euclidean space, of which it is a subset and maintains its specific form. Non-euclidean space is intuited in math and nature and experientially confirmed in “DMT-Hyperspace” and NDEs. Determinism doesn’t explain unimaginable information from outside the brain circuitry, nor the nature of consciousness. The relation and extent of determinism to consciousness expansion are a mystery. Consciousness flows into a circuit (brain) which directs the experience and observation of qualia, imagining itself as a lifeform. Qualia reflects physicality and determinism, actions and behaviors. The circuit is complex and self-adaptive. There is no initial identity, but there is intuitive avoidance of certain stimuli, the origin of desire and identity. The brain is a dynamic and explorative neural network. It maps experience in its net of neurons, but the nature of experience is variable and the process mysterious. The experience of Sense-Data contextualizes intuition and generates new qualia. Neural plasticity increases navigational capacity which enables intuition, constructing abstraction by qualia memory interconnection. Psychedelics interconnect brain regions and disrupt the DMN (Default Mode Network) .Increase in neural activity affects: | Activation -> Senses | Access -> Pattern-Recognition | Interconnection -> Intuition|. Ego-Disruption opens the mind gates to a flow of qualia, similar to sleep, but in a consciously aware state. Rapid shift in consciousness and intuition untangle mind from body to enter fractal space aka. "Astral Projection". Upon return, information is mapped onto the brain imperfectly due to limits in simultaneous perception, fading memory and reprioritization of physical existence. In dreams, the brain enters different modes and opens itself to an inflow of qualia. Integrating new experiences safely benefits survival and connects us to our infinite nature through released control and identity experimentation. Sleep is a state of selective ego-dissolution which causes the same "Astral Projection" as Psychedelics, but in a decreased state of conscious awareness, unless lucid. The brain navigates new experience in reference to its neurally mapped qualia sense making framework, a coherent state of conscious reasoning. Qualia is fractal, so the brain is technically always in intuition mode. Indoctrination is a societal safety mechanism, where guilt and shame are used for homeostasis. Assimilating individuals into identities deemed collectively beneficial. In such a perceptually mechanical reality, through repetition, the brain's weights and biases become more coherent and less dynamic. This happens through surrender of the present contentment, which spawns neuroses, it starts with an anxiety of being misunderstood and consensus based validity of ideas and opinions. Suffering originated as resistance to physical death but continues nowadays as a self-rationalized surrender to powerless behavior for a “greater good”. Psychedelics are outlawed for their individualistic and structure dissolving properties, dynamic understanding expansion, ego-death and mind reinventive capacities. Naturally, all dangerous traits to unprepared individuals, excuse enough for criminalization spread further through consensus and false equivalence based fear mongering. Hiding a dimension of reality without studying it, clearly an ego and fear centered decision. The state of psychedelics is as grander than all wars in influencing human evolution. Yet the butterfly effect makes our existence in any other world impossible. We only exist now, this conscious state of mind configuration and experience, ultimate identity through being as we are. Existence is a consistent hallucination, specific qualia navigation, a configuration of consciousness. “If identity is interpretation and humanity abstraction, then everything is alive” - myself, two trips ago “Health Benefits are just a side effect of a higher state of Consciousness” - my annoyance every time I hear someone talk about psychedelics for “treatment and health benefits”, acting as if we didn’t know that for millennia and had gazillion of research and empiric data for over half a century already, also ignoring the mind expanding, reality morphing capabilities, instead focusing on basic human bs. Afternote: When I say things like “consciousness flows into the circuit” it is illustrative. Of course the circuit is itself consciousness, but I’m trying to communicate dualistic understanding in a metaphorically intuitive manner. A way to understand holistically, top down. Holism still has objects, holism is still a system, though a more whole one and the best one I know, that isn’t just incommunicable nothingness. Maybe the journey for more understanding is quite arbitrary when knowledge is as infinite as the fractal that spawns it. But I’m still fascinated, and I’m still alive, so I’m doing alive things, since I find myself unable to enter psychedelic “Hyperspace” at will yet. Gotta train those awareness muscles! Or is it the letting-go muscles? Or is it letting go of muscles? Either way, I still exist and I don’t know how to unexist myself yet, so I’m burning my karma while expanding my sense of self instead.

its essentially synthetic mushrooms, they are very powerful I had a couple and reality was reduced nothingness

Medicine: 150 ug 1P-LSD Intention: Contemplate How am I God, Infinite, Love? And retain more insights after the trip. Background Before this trip I had a very difficult experience with 4-AcO-DMT, so I decided to take some time to understand what I was going through and integrate better integrate the previous trips. I dedicated myself as well to read some books from Stanislav Grof and James Fadiman to understand more about LSD and other well known psychedelics as well as some other books from Leo's book list about God and spirituality. I also worked on improving my Kriya Yoga techniques and have been observing my micro fears and contemplating how these fears are related to myself. Finally, I contacted a psychotherapist which helped me during some earlier hard phases of my life, because I started to get anxious with the psychedelic trips and some personal stuff started to come during the trips, which I was not being able to integrate alone. The Trip Made all the preparations and took the LSD around 8:00 am, after that I made Kriya Yoga, I managed to get to 30 minutes but I started to feel the effects of the medicine and started to feel a little dizzy. I find interesting that the peaceful and after glow of Kriya some how merged with the effect of the LSD. I also made some Hatha Yoga because the LSD gets me some muscle soreness, and I have realized that Hatha Yoga helps me relax the body and allows the energy to flow better. I then laid down as the effects of the medicine were getting stronger, and started to ask me how am I God? I also started to become aware of the rapid movements of my ego mind and I managed to calm it down. And the I had this very deep insight about Nothingness, it was a very profound insight but I will try my best to describe it. I realized all the limitations that make me believe that I am a person, and realized that I had to overcome them in order to become God. As I realized this I had this vision of my body being fully surrounded by white energy and how all the limitations simply disappeared. And then I became Nothingness, I don't really know how long I stayed in this state as time had no meaning there. It was like if I was in the Void, there was no difference, it was Absolute Nothingness. Later I went to see how many time had passed since I first laid down and I spent at least two hours there. And suddenly I see how I decide to go back to the form and create myself as a tough and as this happens I have this vision that the Nothingness merges again with the white energy of Love like a multidimensional living Yin Yang and it creates a strange loop and I become this strange loop. As I realize the insight I sit there completely shocked and I see how my mind tries to wrap around and make an idea of it which is impossible. I tried to write about the experience and it came to my mind that is impossible to describe Infinity with something finite as words. Nevertheless there are some moments of great inspiration I feel during the trips, here is something I wrote down and I wanted to share: "It is as if God could talk me through music, thoughts, light, in all the many dimensions of the Self and It manages to do it so overwhelmingly good that It leaves me breathless". I became a little agitated because of the magnitude of this insight, so I started to walk around in the apartment and later made some more Hatha Yoga. It felt as if I was a puppet being shown how to make the Yoga positions. I wanted to lay down again and I realized that my ego-self didn't wanted me to do it and became agitated. I realized that I was also contracting my body and opened-up and started to make bilateral symmetrical movements and I managed to calm down. I am really amazed how easy is this technique and yet how helpful it is in such cases. I managed to calm down and relax, I wore some earplugs and tried to be as still as I could. I had one of this Samadhi experiences I have been having with the psychedelic trips. As I relaxed the mind, the limits of my body cease to exist and I literally feel I have no limits, during that moment also experience a lot of Love and it feels as I would elevate and leave my body. I guess that this is the sort of experiences that yogis get after many years of practice. There was also a moment when I felt I could remember who I truly am, not as my ego-self but as the higher Self. I could feel I was Infinite, Infinite Love, Eternal. It was just Awesome! I also realized that there is no such thing as a reference point and that everything is relative, except for the Absolute. As I got this realization I started to feel disoriented and fearful, my body wanted to close again but I managed to remain open, make some bilateral movements, so I could accept the insight and continue tripping. There was also a moment when I was at the kitchen and started looking at a mango, I became fascinated with its different colors and textures and at some point I realized that by concentrating myself on the mango I became the mango haha, I just don't know how to put this in words but it felt like that. At the end of the trip I started listening some music, something I have learned to enjoy specially when I do LSD, and there were some moments that I feel I become the musician playing the instrument and the music. I then went for a walk in to the forest, I felt drawn into the nature, part of me wanted to see the and be part of nature, so I spent a couple of hours walking and flowing with the constant changes of the wind, captivated by the fractal forms of some plants and the beauty of nature, looking the awesome colors of the leaves now that the fall begins here in Europe. Conclusions I felt I had a much more organic trip, as in my previous trips I could not remain so conscious of all the insights I got. I see that working on my fears have helped me go deeper during the trips. There where some moments where I felt I was drawing towards madness, but I saw that the only way I could get over my fears is to face them and that it is a long and slow process. I was reluctant and skeptic to contact the psychotherapist but working on some more personal stuff that has came up during the some previous experiences also allowed me to go deeper during this trip. But then again, it is a therapist that I have known for years, which could accept the idea of me working with psychedelics (even though she may not recommend it or like them) and someone I can also trust. Bilateral symmetry and remaining open is a great technique to avoid getting into anxious during the trip, at least it works for me and I cannot recommend it enough. Something I don't like about 1P-LSD is the muscle soreness and body load it generates, but I could counteract some of it by doing Hatha Yoga, something that may be manageable at least in lower to moderate doses where it is still possible to move around. When I started working with psychedelics at the beginning of the year I was afraid I would not be able to this with my girlfriend around and that it may even cause is trouble, but to my surprise it has been the complete opposite. I have learned to understand her better and to get closer in our relationship. Thanks a lot for reading this and for your comments! Thanks to the great community of Actualized.org and to Leo for his great teachings!