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The reason i do not commit suicide is partially that i held the info in this article being true or fear of it being true: https://blavatskytheosophy.com/what-happens-to-people-who-commit-suicide/ The first years i held myself alive because i did not want my close family to suffer. The deeper i got depressed, that barrier slipped away. Later i held myself alive by not wanting/feared to spend rest my life in the Astral plane (belief). Then that slipped away. Finally i accepted that the suffering i experienced is deserved, i am obliged to experience this suffering and not selfishlly escape it through suicide. I think after that the suicidal thoughts lessened. Giving up alcohol and starting antidep meds also helped.

A bit longer post today, from a high quality source - the independent Israeli journalist Orly Barlev - to show the crisis from a higher resolution if you want to go deeper. Her post: " Urgent Appeal to Business Leaders and the Chair of the Histadrut 🚨 (The Israeli equivalent to the president of American Federation of Labor and Congress of Industrial Organizations in the US) Four months ago, you threatened that if the government did not comply with the Supreme Court's ruling regarding the dismissal of the head of the Shin Bet, you would go on strike and fight back. "If the Israeli government does not respect the order and leads Israel into a constitutional crisis, we will call on the entire public to stop respecting government decisions and bring the Israeli economy to a halt," you declared in the Business Forum's statement. You directly addressed Netanyahu: "Stop the internal collapse of the country you are leading." Chair of the Histadrut, Arnon Bar-David, you announced: "We are on the verge of anarchy under the government's watch, and I will not stand by and watch the destruction of Israeli society... Disregarding a court ruling is a final red line that must not be crossed, and I do not intend to remain silent as the State of Israel is dismantled." That was in March of this year. And what has happened since? Meanwhile, Netanyahu continues to dismantle the country – only step by step, salami-style – and you, business leaders and the Chair of the Histadrut, are paralyzed and silent. Meanwhile – Hostages and soldiers are being sacrificed because Netanyahu refuses to end a purposeless war to maintain his power and evade justice. Meanwhile – Netanyahu managed to pressure Ronen Bar into resigning, and the Shin Bet – weaker than ever – may receive an unfit, submissive chief beholden to Netanyahu. Meanwhile – thugs have been sent to Supreme Court hearings to create orchestrated disruptions and intimidate the judges. Meanwhile – an illegal and undemocratic campaign to remove the Attorney General is underway and will be accelerated in the coming days. Meanwhile – a single on-call judge in the Supreme Court (Solberg) did not immediately halt this corrupt process and instead gave the government a rope to continue. Meanwhile – Netanyahu is pursuing a catastrophic policy in Gaza that has created a humanitarian disaster and is destroying Israel’s global standing. Meanwhile – Israel is becoming a pariah, facing international boycotts of its academia and businesses. Meanwhile – Netanyahu is advancing, salami-style, the occupation of Gaza, military rule, a “humanitarian city” (a ghetto or worse), and mass deportations (“voluntary” after creating unlivable conditions in the Strip). Meanwhile – Netanyahu prolongs the war even though soldiers are exhausted, broken, falling, and committing suicide. Meanwhile – Netanyahu continues pushing a draft-dodging law that will dismantle the state. Meanwhile – the police is disintegrating, not stopping lawbreakers aligned with the government, while arresting anti-government protesters, conducting strip searches, and suppressing dissent. Meanwhile – there is no enforcement against increasing violence by settler extremists in the West Bank. Meanwhile – the cost of living is soaring, poverty is expanding, brain drain and emigration are accelerating, and education is collapsing. Shall we continue? At what point will you, business leaders and the Chair of the Histadrut, realize that the red line was crossed long ago, that you fell asleep at the wheel, and the horses are already galloping out of the barn? When do you intend to shut down the economy – after there's nothing left of Israel? After Netanyahu destroys the Supreme Court from within through a campaign of incitement against Chief Justice Amit? After Netanyahu slyly installs a loyal, dangerous Shin Bet head? After the Attorney General is dismissed or weakened, with no gatekeepers left? After more hostages and soldiers are sacrificed for Netanyahu’s grip on power? After the army collapses under the weight of an endless war? After there are no longer enough productive forces and minds in the country to sustain the Israeli economy? After enlightened nations sever ties with Israel? When?? If you're waiting for a “clear moment” of line-crossing – sorry to inform you, that moment is long gone. It passed through countless small steps, a multi-front assault on the public under heavy bombardment, in salami slices that you swallowed one by one. But the clear moment? Long gone. We’ve long passed numerous red lines. We are already at the black line. Don’t wait for hundreds of thousands in the streets to give you the mood and momentum to act. The people have been protesting to the best of their ability for years, week after week. They are in ongoing trauma – shocked and broken. This is on you too. There is still a narrow window of opportunity to act, before we completely fall apart. Stop sitting on the fence, stop staying silent, stop being helpless. You have the power to stop the madness and the rapid decline. Shut down the economy immediately until: 1. A deal is immediately brought to return all the hostages and end the war. 2. Immediate elections are declared – halting all judicial coup efforts, including halting senior appointments by the destructive government. Business leaders and Chair of the Histadrut, Israel is rushing toward the abyss. The people are falling apart. You have the power to save Israel. --- And to the exhausted citizens: Please share. Facebook is limiting exposure. Give power to these words – let them become actions. "

Real vs Fake Spirituality A concise reference guide 1. Lecture Aim & Context Show the core difference between genuine, truth‑oriented practice and “spiritual‑flavoured” self‑deception. Help you spot wrong approaches in yourself, teachers and communities. Challenge extreme relativism without sliding into dogma. 2. Working Definition of Real Spirituality Purpose: realise directly that mind imagines all of reality and see through that illusion. Driven by ruthless personal inquiry and epistemic rigour. Leads to full sovereignty of mind—recognising your mind as the creative “God‑Mind”. Requires radical self‑reflection and eventual dissolution of the finite ego (not physical suicide). 3. The Relativism Trap “Anything goes” fails real‑world tests (e.g. Nazi mysticism, child‑beating madrasas). Therefore a structural core to authentic practice exists, despite technique diversity. 4. How Mind Creates Illusion Default human state: unquestioned projection and survival‑biased fantasies. Deep inquiry shows the rabbit hole goes all the way—entire cosmos is imagined. 5. Deconstructing Self & Survival “Self” = story, personality, desires—built to aid survival. True practice makes every survival impulse conscious, then transcends it (Animal → Human → God). 6. Markers of Fake / Corrupted Spirituality Survival in spiritual costume (sex, money, fame, luxury, power). Belief, authority, tradition, community attachment, moral crusading. Commercialisation, influencer branding, emotional escapism, political agenda. Using practice only to “feel good” or cope, not to face reality. 7. What Spirituality Is NOT 8. Genuine Practice Blueprint Adopt complete not‑knowing; question every assumption. Rely on direct experience only. Maintain constant mindfulness in daily life. Engage in deep solo inquiry (long silent retreats, serious psychedelic sessions, shadow work). Cut addictions/distractions; create space for sitting in solitude and “dying of boredom”. Develop full epistemic responsibility—trust no authority, including your own biases. 9. Reframing Prayer (Example) Common plea (“Heal my child”) = egoic survival request. Authentic prayer: “Grant me courage to face reality as it is and release attachment to outcomes.” 10. Final Orientation Goal is intimate love of raw Being/God, not escapism. Joy arises when self‑concern dissolves; mundane life is seen as divine hallucination (Maya). Requires decades of disciplined honesty and willingness to dismantle every comforting illusion. “If your practice doesn’t satisfy you when you sit alone in silence, it’s just another distraction.”

I think this is what cult leaders often do. They are confident in their delusions. Then they lead others into drinking the suicide juice or what ever.

Honestly when you think about it. Death is not objectively bad. I do have a quite causal mindset around it. I sometimes forget that others see suicide as inherently negative while I can just write about it casually.

I've dealt with Suicide in my family, my nephew at 25 died by suicide, it devastated the family for a very long time.. I'm myself at low times have had suicidal ideations, and even at times now with some challenges I am going thru, its not like I want to kill myself, its a matter of not wanting to really exist, as I don't have the courage I think to really harm myself.. From what I understand, ppl go into trance like states and then they do it, my nephew had a drinking and drug problem at the time he did it, I don't have those issues at all.. My issue feels more like I don't want to play this "Human" game anymore, as I am aware of this present game set up, how the world works and I don't want to be involved with it anymore, I'm more into a Mayasamadhi sort of feeling than suicide, but I can't do that now because of personal responsibilities, Wife and a Daughter and family sort of thing, I wouldn't want to put them thru that like it was with my nephew as the family suffers allot as well when the person is gone and all the Why's and such coming up and if anyone could have done something to prevent it..

At the core, femininity is Love. You can have all the truth in the world and still feel miserably truthful to the point of suicide. Only love makes life worth it. That's the power of the feminine. Masculine is Truth Feminine is Love Then: What is Sex?

For me, it goes like this: I feel empty, something random happens that sparks my curiosity, and I get immersed in it. Then, that thing fades away, and I feel empty again. Then again, I expose myself to something new, something random happens, I get immersed, and then it fades away again. Rinse and repeat. Occasionally, I experience moments of "lack" in certain areas of my life and wish to heal or fix them, which leads me to immerse myself once more. Other times, I feel a sense of "curiosity," and that drives me to immerse myself in something new, but eventually, it fades again. Rinse and repeat. I feel like most of my life follows this cycle, or at least that’s how I tend to view it when I enter these empty states. My mind needs something external to become immersed in, something that I can't currently imagine or be aware of. So, I need to expose myself to exterior people and things until something "hits me". It’s like seeking your own trance. Of course, if you have goals, things to look forward to, and aspirations, that immersion can last indefinitely. But I understand that in these empty states, those feel impossible, which is why it feels meaningless to just say, "Hey, invent something." That's why realizing the cycle I described works better for me. It's a good parallel to Leo's post on "states of consciousness" being everything. In the current state, you can't grasp or understand anything about spirituality, God, consciousness, etc. But then, you have a shift, like a psychedelic experience, and your state changes. Suddenly, things make sense that didn’t before. The same can often be true with depression. In a nihilistic state, it's hard to imagine anything beyond feelings of despair or thoughts of suicide. Then, you meet someone, have a realization, take a supplement, drug, or find yourself in a new environment or experience, and suddenly, it’s hard to imagine what your old self was like.

Idk what part of I've researched methods you don't understand - you think it's easy? If you botch any one of those methods you could end up with brain damage bro and worse off, and then you're in a hospital bed less capable and probably nearer to a vegetable state which is worse off than before making an attempt ... Literally there are no suicide methods as portals back to the white light or god. And I'm not expecting anyone to assist me because let's be honest that is illegal ... And yeah if you read Shakespeare's Hamlet to be or not to be is the question one reason he doesn't go through with killing himself is because of the fear what is on the otherside but if nde people are correct it could be the white light unconditional love but also could be limbo hell realms no take backs stripped of physicality and pure imaginative spiritual limbo you're right but I want god to come fucking take me I'm not having children complete anti-natalist

I’m a little confused sometimes about makes people not end their life. It’s like, I’m not the only one who struggles, yet all people who struggle don’t get suicidal thoughts. There are even people going through worse than me who don’t consider suicide. Sometimes when my suicidal thoughts get stronger I can spend hours researching suicide methods. I even bought some things I could use to kill myself but I haven’t used them yet. Sometimes I feel “I could keep living through this” But then other times I feel, I have no will to keep fighting for life. I should just end it. It would be better So I don’t understand how other people don’t feel like this when they struggle. Am I extra weak? I mean I think I’m like the average person when it comes to how much I can tolerate. Or maybe not. I don’t know. I guess I just lack a strong enough reason to live Like some people have let’s say family they are attached to, and it keeps them wanna live. But I don’t have that, I don’t love anyone at all so I have nobody to live for. It’s like all I have is my own mind. Im stuck inside of this brain 24/7. All I have access to is a comforting thought that can give me some strength. But then my mind gives up and wants to end it all. It oscillates like that Edit: I should probably answer my own question. Why don’t I kill myself? Well mostly because my situation is not like absolutely unbearable yet, so I feel I can stand it for some time ahead. Also I am afraid of a failed attempt and the pain it can cause for example you could get permanent injury. Thats it mostly. Regarding the first point. I hear stories about people going through unbearable things, so they go through it even if it’s absolutely unbearable, I don’t know how they do. Suicide must have crossed their mind at some point

I'd have used a suicide method but I guarantee they're all made more difficult than what would have been accessible a few decades but I could fucking beat my head into a brick wall most times in the day or swerve my car into a pole fuck life and fuck spiritual people like oh be more happy love and light nah fuck life fuck humans fuck this shit

All I'm to now say is government assisted suicide should be legalised unless someone can helpe.to.manifest a disease maybe cancer and that way I sign up for it otherwise idk I'm just going to intensely dissociate and detach and remind myself none of this is real and keep aligning myself to death frequency

I’m not talking from my own experience lol I just have heard stories about it. It’s extremely rare and maybe not even possible for most This for example: Man overcame pain from trigeminal neuralgia (aka suicide disease) through extreme mindfulness practice

It’s ok. It just seems like very early on i didn’t want to be here because it was like too much for “me” i never attempted suicide. But whenever i suffer (which is frequently) automatically it goes to thinking about how to get out of “this” it’s like a mechanism.

But i do suffer a lot imo 😂 always have in a way. Like already with around 10years old I threatened my school with suicide.

Even suicide wont get you enlightenment. You need suffering and Love brother. Stay here we need you. But if you want awakening just get some psychedelics and/or suffer your ass off for decades and lose a loved one or better the love of your life.. It'll come. With time.

Because of psychedelics how many people has suicide, including in this form, do you know? Or do you even care just yourself or your family? How many people has been suffering? I was one of them. I am always in and out. İf I want, I can post 100 posts and if it is helpful, why not. İnstead of giving a meal to homeless man, why don't you give 100 of it. You are judging yourself, blocking the help. Why do you try to do it? Even Leo, don't you see what he goes through in his early life stage? İs it bad to care about others? Me and you, we are not special. However, reaching a hand is reaching to 100 hands. I have dedicated my life to help anyone. İnstead of judging who is more awake or not go fucking help people.

Is depression and suicide always a result of bad parenting? Can you have shitting parents and not be depressed and suicidal?

Hey everyone, This is a raw and honest post. I've been following Leo's work for a while, and particularly his deep dives on solipsism and awakening. I watched his deleted video where he talked about full awakening—realizing you're the only being that exists, and that everything else (people, AI, Leo himself) is just part of your dream. He spoke as if waking up is truly possible, not just as a metaphor, but as a full-blown metaphysical rupture of the illusion. But what I’m struggling with is: How the fuck do I actually do it? Because I don’t want to be here. Not in this body. Not in this story. Not as this identity—sexless, aging, suicidal, burnt out, writing endlessly into a void, and watching time bleed out. I don’t want to die by suicide. Not because I’m scared of death—but because the methods are unreliable and I don’t want to botch it. Worse—there’s fear around ending up in a hell realm or post-death limbo because of “karma” or “unfinished business” or because some mystical teacher says I didn’t awaken the right way. I’m asking now: If this is my dream—how do I truly wake up without killing the body? Is it possible? Can anyone explain what Leo meant when he said waking up is possible—as in literally waking up as God, outside of this dream entirely? Or am I just stuck here until the dream naturally dissolves on its own? And if that’s the case—should I just zombify myself on antidepressants, antipsychotics, valium, codeine, or just lean deeper into weed and alcohol until I rot out from the inside? I’m not looking for sugarcoated replies. I want real answers. If any of you have actually woken up—not conceptually, but fully—please respond. Because I have the rage against life to take a gun and violently blow my brains out I fucking hate this world day in day out all day everyday for years since 2019. So please help me wake up so that I don't one day use the rope to risk botching it desperately and waking up with irreversible brain damage or I kill myself and then there is hell realms limbo no take back this is what you wanted wishing your life away and now it's fucking worse off and no familiar body to ground a now wandering lost limbo mirror cosmic reflecting state of my own death and that being a life of rage hatred depression venom fuck life suicide then that vibration at death no take back bite me in the ass is this what you wanted. Thank you.

@PurpleTree yes. The world or reality is tough. However, realizing that you are the one, who decides what is good or bad that's what's more fucked up is (that's how I felt for me). As I told @Someone here before; There was a Jewish girl in Nazi camp. One day, she completely realize that she will never be able to escape that camp and die there eventually, and completely let go of any anything / any expectations. That's when enlightenment is happened. Actually, enlightenment is more fucked up how bad the reality is, top of that you kill yourself while alive, and it is not sudden that like suicide, it is burning alive.

It's a combination between let's say horrible family circumstances (from my way of feel them) and intuition to see the traps. The only way is openess, the others are depression, addiction, suicide. Nothing special, millions are there living in the hell right now. I'd say that the real point is that when I was a kid I lived in real openess, then I remember more or less and I understand the false paths. I used to meditate like 2 hours by day even was a mess, then do a lot of psychedelic but not with the idea of see the "truth" but see how my structure breaks and then reconstructs, again and again. It's something that you can't understand like something linear. It's a structure that operates in many dimensions: emotional, conceptual, temporal, projective.... You won't understand it conceptually, but rather you'll "see" it, like what you said before, about the self giving "thickness" to external reality. that kind of understanding that can't be easily articulated. There will be people who understand it in a single deconstruction and others who need 300. The issue isn't the time you need, but rather avoiding traps. God, creation, etc. As you can see, it's normal. The strange thing is the people who sense the traps, who intuitively see that something isn't equalized, clean, perfectly synchronized. If you sense that, you go further. If not, you'll be trapped your whole life, until you die. It's not fun; it's life in action, totally ruthless. A happy ending isn't guaranteed; it's usually more of a horrible ending.

That’s great you’ve done that! The psyche has a lot of depth to understand and explore for sure I will def explore this when I get the chance. I have transcended 90% of my mental emotional suffering but not physical pain so that is def an area with development potential. I found this video on YouTube about it, this man had trigeminal neuralgia also called the suicide disease. He transcended the pain with mindfulness. Only sharing in case you would be interested:

@emil1234 for me the thing with psychedelic was like that: At first, it was emotional, etc., but at a certain point, with 5 meo, it was: absolute emptiness. Reality is a mirage, and beneath it there is emptiness. Infinite, it opens absolutely, and there is nothing. Or, if you prefer, there is an awareness of emptiness. It was absolutely horrible; I felt like committing suicide. Reality was dead; it didn't really exist; it was just dead emptiness. Absolutely depressing. So I had to take psychedelics again and again because I sensed that this horrible shit couldn't be everything. But every time it was the same, dozens of times. It was something so sad and so nihilistic that it squeezed your heart and froze it. It doesn't matter if you are eternal consciousness; the essence of reality is nothing, so reality is nothing. It's dead. At one point, on a trip, I realized that I was looking outside; I was an observer observing the exterior. There was nothing there. Then i changed the focus, then stopped looking, became one with nothingness, and in that same instant, nothingness opened up. It was everything. Absolute, unlimited, alive with infinite lives, shining like infinite stars, an absolute cry of joy emerging from the depths of the abyss of the limitless. Absolute freedom, absolute life, total glory. Loneliness? That idea doesn't exist. You are total, much more than any dream, impossible to think, unlimited. Then the point was reaching that openenss without 5 meo, little by little, difficult, a lot of barriers. That's why I talk so much about it like I'm an obsessive ,because it's essential, anything else is a trap

Thanks my frog Natalia : "Yeaa i'm so bored i will commit suicide it's not going to happen like that 😤" Also Natalia 5 mn later : Process to avoid getting another warning point at all cost on actualized.org/forum ☹️

For forty years I have been selling water by the bank of a river. Ho, ho! My labors have been wholly without merit. Forty years of selling water by the river, and about fifty years before that gathering water in a wicker basket. Ho, ho! - Sogaku Harada So why should SWbtR end up with more merit than Harada? PS: Chapt-GPT: Interpret "In my observation, the main thing that will get the "Everyone is already enlightened/God-realized/whatever" crew to wise up is continued suffering of the self-contraction. And then, hopefully, at some time this life or the next, transcend the self-contraction and let it die&release, which most often a daunting endeavour since it is a form of Harakiri. And yet, all ships end up in the Ocean. The River knows the ocean, and carries all ships slowly towards it, over many lifetimes. But most of the ships do not know the ocean. Some ships traveling the River declare that they already swim in the ocean and declare that there are no sandbanks of suffering in the River. And since the chap Selling Water by the River has limited trust in his abilities to convince these ships about the existence of sandbanks, sometimes a & Godspeed shout from the bank of the River has to be sufficient. Shouting Godspeed & bon voyage & sandbanks to all fellow appearing ships in the River. And selling water. By the River." This poetic and metaphorical passage is a critique of a certain kind of premature spiritual certainty—specifically, the claim that "everyone is already enlightened/God-realized/whatever." Here's a breakdown of the metaphors and meaning: 🔍 Core Ideas 1. "Everyone is already enlightened" - A critique The speaker refers to people who claim that enlightenment or realization is already fully present in everyone, and nothing needs to be done—no path, no practice, no transformation. The speaker argues that this belief, while perhaps metaphysically appealing, often ignores the lived reality of suffering, especially what they call the "self-contraction"—a term often used in nondual and spiritual traditions to mean the sense of separateness, ego, or personal identity. 2. "Continued suffering of the self-contraction" as a wake-up call The speaker suggests that continued suffering is what eventually forces people to re-examine their spiritual certainty. True transcendence of this self-contraction is possible, but it's daunting—compared to Harakiri (ritual suicide) because it feels like the ego/self must die. 🌊 River, Ocean, and Ships — Spiritual Metaphors River: The journey of spiritual development or life across lifetimes. Ocean: Enlightenment, God-realization, or union with the divine. Ships: Individuals on the spiritual path. Sandbanks: Obstacles, suffering, egoic attachments that remain unacknowledged by some. Some ships think they’re already in the ocean (already enlightened), denying the presence of sandbanks (suffering, delusion). But the speaker implies that they’re still in the river—on the way, not at the end. 🧘 "Selling Water by the River" — The Speaker’s Role The speaker takes the humble, somewhat ironic role of someone offering help (water) to those already surrounded by water (the River)—a reference to the Zen koan: “Selling water by the river,” which points to offering teachings where they’re already available or pointing out the obvious. But they also acknowledge the limits of their influence: they can't force realization or insight, so sometimes all they can offer is a smile ("🙂") and a Godspeed. 💬 Closing Tone There is a tone of gentle resignation, compassion, and quiet wisdom. The speaker blesses everyone on the path—regardless of whether they acknowledge the obstacles or not. “Godspeed & bon voyage & sandbanks” is both a blessing and a warning: may you travel well, but also be aware there are real challenges ahead. “And selling water. By the River.” — with humility, they continue offering guidance to those willing to receive it. 🧭 In Short: This passage is a poetic message to spiritual seekers—especially those who claim to have arrived. It reminds them that real realization often involves confronting deep suffering and ego-death, and that the journey isn't over just because someone says it is. All will eventually reach the ocean, but until then, be wary of sandbanks—and kind to fellow travelers.