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THE ”GREAT” 5 years ago I started my personal development journey. The first two years were amazing. I meditated and journaled daily. I started a company that went pretty well. I was in peak physical shape. Elite level strength and my diet was flawless. I started making music during my spare time and loved it. I quit porn and practiced sexual discipline with women and never failed. Women were obsessed with me. My friends used to say I was a machine. I did whatever I set my mind to without fail. They looked up to me and always went to me for advice and support. One thing tho, I wasn’t really in contact with my emotions. Maybe this is why I was able to act like a machine. I had never really consciously experienced anxiety for example. Back then I barely understood the emotion when people talked about it. Everything was going great but then… THE DESCENT INTO CHAOS One day I made the stupid decision of going on a date with my ex from before I started doing this my personal development work. We got back together and I slowly fell apart. I’m not blaming her. I was not good either. But it really broke me in some sense. We stayed together for one and a half years and during that time I slowly descended into chaos. She introduced me to some new friends and we started partying all the time. I started abusing drugs. Mostly LSD and MDMA which were drugs that had previously helped me immensely but now I was using them to party, not heal. Had some really bad trips that awakened a lot of negative emotions in me. During one DMT trip I encountered a really mean entity that just bombarded me with hate. Since that experience I haven’t been able to get the voice out of my head. Goes in periods tho. Also, the police arrested me once and it was really traumatising. They forced me to get naked in the middle of a parking lot and then put me in a cell for 12 hours. More to it but long story. THE (ATTEMPTED) CLIMB BACK I finally broke it off with her. It was bad. And after the break up I was lost and stupid. I have empathy and understanding towards myself but I hate looking back at how I was acting. I was a mess. This was one and half years ago. Since then I’ve tried to get back into my old ways. I try every day but never seem to be able to. Can’t get into good habits, can’t get rid of bad habits. I don’t understand what the blockage is. I’ve been going to therapy but it doesn’t really help. I try and try and try but nothing I do seems to work out. It’s gotten to the point where I’m burnt out because of it (diagnosed by doctor). MY QUESTION Does anyone have any idea what I might be doing wrong? What I might be missing? I’m worried that I’ve broken myself.. Any help would be really appreciated. Thank you for reading

Anyway I know the answer: the one who hears the sounds is reality, the universe, God. Through life God becomes concious of itself, awakens from it's sleep. Consciousness is the awakening of reality, sleeping reality is as real as awakened reality, but unconscious of itself. Consciousness is the light that illuminates reality, sound is perception, perception is consciousness, the process of awakening goes deeper into itself infinitely, and that sound is part of it. We are the reality awakening, then we could totally awake to it, open our conciousness to the total depth of what it is, that's enlightenment.

I speak about what works for me. I'm not saying I am awakened. Yet I am doing the work that needs doing. Writing is helpful for both the writer and the reader. I don't engage with philosophy only the day to day reality. What I know is, there is nothing to know in this universe. This is a good first step in rolling back the mind.

If the duality of subject and object is just an appearance, does it mean that at the deeper levels of reality choice and decision making don't actually exist ? Is everything simply happening automatically ? Any interesting perspectives on this topic would be most welcome.

In The Religion of Tomorrow, which is very repetitive, like all his books, he talks about states vs. stages vs. structures. You can have an enlightenment or awakening state at any stage. At the higher stages the state becomes integrated as a structure. It repeats, with the same repetitious pattern as his other works: states, stages, structures. An enlightenment state is, for specific example, a zen master at SDi Stage Blue who supports Japanese imperialism and World War Two but who is awakened to some fundamental grounding or attention or groundless detachment from the sensations in his experience, while still having the Blue cognitive framework. At a higher stage of SDi, say, Indigo, the awakening becomes perfectly and ineluctably wholly integrated with the higher cognitive structures, it is an awakened structure rather than simply an awakened state.

A certain role model of mine often says that "you have to be mildly psychopathic to be totally stoked about going to heaven while everyone else remains in hell." Being distraught, and even depressed about the state of affairs of this world is a sign of your awakened humanity. Anybody with a heart is rightfully shattered upon witnessing the destruction of the sacred. It's actually quite concerning that the majority of us are blindly chasing happiness without further consideration. Self-centered self-improvement and spirituality is a cruel joke. There is no improvement of me at the exclusion of you. There is no awakening of me at the exclusion of you. This growth fixation is not inherently harmful or bad - it just gets hijacked by myopic actors, fueling a cultural narcissism loop. I laugh whenever people blame their ex for being a "narcissist." What an outrageously ironic moment of narcissism! Almost nobody is exempt from extreme rampant selfishness. Manifestation is real but it doesn't work in the way that 99% of people think. And especially internet gurus in that space are the most deluded and clueless. Such spaces get hijacked by self-centered marketing incentives as well. I mean hell 99% of manifestation content online is about somehow "shifting" to your "dream reality" ... a framing which perfectly reinforces self-fixation. Nobody is buying a manifestation course or coaching call package or retreat in order to accelerate global conflict resolution initiatives. You buy the course to indulge your personal fantasies about getting your dream husband or being showered with financial "abundance." Hilarious. People have lost their openness. This is a cultural cancer. Thanks for your reflections. It's good to see someone else thinking about these things.

lol. Yeah, it's a fucking circle. Going round and round and round and not actually getting anywhere because it's not really going round in a circle. Lol Enlightened/Awakened yet?

Hmmm as I am reading through the forum this is probably the most common topic, how to get to the awakening. Have you ever thought that you are already awakened but having an earth experience right now where you just don't remember you have no limits? Following this idea there would be very little point in becoming awakened , since we are already there , to phrase this differently we are trying to remember what it is like being awakened while having an earth experience, this would be more accurate. Gosh, most people chase the idea of awakening , we are already there , we just don't remember it. My goal was not to become awakened in this earth life , but to experience this particular type of existence , somehow I know i've already had that experience of awakening , now I'm experiencing something different, all of those techniques, programs, systems, just to try and remember something we have already experienced I prefer to use those systems to enjoy this current experience I get to have, and so I enjoy the life itself and this beautiful earth

Not too long ago I interjected my opinion/answer into a discussion on another journal. It was kinda rude of me to that.,,,, Just blurt out my unsolicited opinion. The uncomfortableness I felt afterwards helped me to 'see' myself. Or as is said in fourth way jargon,, Observe one of my "I's" making itself known. There was a form of inflation or self importance that needed to display its cleverness or knowledge. This is a very common occurrence here in the forum. Often there is someone needing to one-up the others in a discussion. I see this in myself at times. It could be related to spiritual materialism. You could also say it's a zen devil characteristic that comes about quite often from egoistic tendencies that are not recognized in oneself. Seeing these types of communication can be a good way to work on Oneself. It's not a comfortable thing to see in oneself. But if you turn a blind eye and let self deception cover it up, you're just bullshiting yourself. Not everyone has this tendency in their expressions. Some have it more than others and sometimes it manifests rather innocently but in hindsight or from others reaction to your lack of 'skillfull means'. It can be observed. Take heart from the insightful saying, "awareness is cureative" over time,,, or in the long run. There is no one -time across the finish line of enlightenment or realization. Many people have this stance in their views of self or Self or no-self in their self deceptive view of themselves as a realized or awakened. It is being blinded by one's own clarity and I'll go out on a limb and say it's every damn one of you and me as well. It is what fairly new people in the work of actualization use to prop themselves up. So if this hits you in the gut,,, hooray for you! In this truth that won't let you bullshit yourself. Sit with this and gain a greater awareness and understanding over time. You'll be a more forgiving person for having seen actions like this in yourself. It is advised in the work literature to not criticize yourself. Don't beat yourself up. That's often very difficult for many people. Myself included. This work will humble you. Have a good day and try to be lighthearted.

Exactly. His people were attempting bio terrorism too. I don't see how an awakened man can allow such things to happen.

Tolle's book New Earth, which is all about Ego, he goes indepth on it, really awakened my to my Ego and how it functions, when that happens its an awakening and You cannot go back to normal after that.. Its the Identification with Ego, a false self, mask of sorts used for social situations and communication, its Survival level stuff, not Consciousness level stuff... that is the problem, thinking/believing You are the Ego or Mask, then it is a problem, if You know You are not this mask and its a real experience then no problem with Ego...its needed in a society with many different sorts of ppl living within it..

Once one is awakened, does everything lack purpose and actual intention? Does purpose become anything one wants to see? Does purpose become fluid; without purpose? Does purpose lack purpose once awakened?

@Thought Art how long does qigong take for a kundalini-awakened individual to feel the effects? Where should I start as a beginner? Can you send me a link to your YouTube channel?

I don't want to pretend as if I don't know what's happening here anymore. Everybody is keeping this me thing alive because it wants to stay alive. It pretends to want to be awakened and enlightened, but that is also just a show. All the gurus and masters are there for the same show. They serve as me enhancers. The me is fighting for it's life. It tries to find a purpose and tries to find meaning. That's its purpose. To keep a world going. To make it seem as if something is actually happening when it's not. The me will have an existential crisis if it dies before it dies. The body doesn't really die because it's not really alive. Not separately alive anyway, apart from any other aliveness. It's not separate from the whole. Nothing dies. Nothing is ever born and nothing lives. It's just what is and what's appearing. It's all alive. It's one big poof of aliveness. It's not living because living implies dying. It just is. It appears as time, space, things, people, the earth, the sun, the stars, the moon, trees, animals, and whatever else but these things are really only appearing as separate from us because of the me. No me, everything just is. No relation, no cause and effect, no rhyme or reason. Me or no me, doesn't matter. Self or no self, doesn't matter, awakened or no enlightened, or no awakened or enlightened, doesn't matter; it's all the same thing. I don't have a life and i never had. It's just body walking and tongue moving and hands clapping but that's all just movement within the non-movement appearing to happen. It's already done. Jesus, it's so fucking obvious.

Oh boy. This is it. Everything. Imagination. Including Alan Watts. Including me as a person. Including you as a person. Including "being asleep" -- including "being awake". Death. Life. Two sides of the same coin. Ultimately, no difference. Only the difference YOU imagine there is (as God). Everything. Imagination. Nothing. Real. Unreal. Real. Everything. Nowhere to get to. Everywhere to get to. Sing. Dance. Play. Enjoy. Live. Let go. Love. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I have lived on the lip of insanity, wanting to know reasons, knocking on a door ... It opens - I've been knocking from the inside!" --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Just like a meteor falling down from the sky and destroying your living room is: - not your doing, - nothing to do with you, - out of your control, - not your own free choice, likewise is "insert-your-name" (with your body and with all your 'problems', inclinations, thoughts, feelings etc.) that coincidentally was born out of your mother's stomach (and ruined 'your peace')...: - not your doing, - noting to do with you, - out of your control, - not your own free choice. ((( However, one could also turn the above completely on its head and say that the metor impact WAS/IS my doing, and that my birth into (= out of) this world likewise WAS/IS a free choice that *I* took ☯️ ☯️ ☯️ ))) But if the above is true what are 'you' then? 'What am I?' I/You are That/He/She which dreams , imagines: - that a meteor (perhaps) fell down and ruined your house ?? - that "insert-your-name" was born and is currently xx years old, has an ugly/nice/normal/abnormal body, study/work with yyy and has zzz problems, hhh thoughts & worries & regrets, fff inclinations, sss dreams. And what IS 'that' ??? I don't know. No one does. Because it cannot be known - as in "traditional knowledge" can be known. It can only be. You are IT - already! Always. One can never not be 'IT'; the only (imagined) difference is whether you're aware of 'IT' or not. Consciousness. You could call it God, Love, The Eternal Dreamer, The Dao, The Absolute, Infinity, Eternity, Nothingness, Everythingness, Consciousness, Spaghetthi-Monster... In some way, it really doesn't matter what we call/name 'Reality', since <words/thoughts/logic/concepts/rationality> naturally never can contain IT. Sometimes it may even be wise to not try to call it anything! What is Reality? THIS: ................ *smashing a gong* ... and we won't give it a name! Can you bite your own teeth? Can eyes looking out ever see from where they are looking? Can a fist grasp itself? What a caterpillar calls the end of the world -- we call a butterfly! Luckily we got music, dancing, embodiment/physical activites, sex (tantra), meditation, breathwork, psychedelics, art .... that can in a much better way can contain ("show us") 'IT' than words/thoughts/science/logic/conceptualizing can! THIS IS IT! THIS. HELLO! YES. THIS. NO - NOT THAT. THIS! HA HA HA <3 <3 <3 The finger pointing to the moon ..... is NOT the moon. You cannot eat the menu! The map is not the terrotity. It is a SILLY idea to try to live life in your head all the time! (It can be very good and fine to think and reflect and contemplate a lot -- but you have to be practical about life too!) Form, emptiness. Emptiness, form. Life, death. Death, life. Good, bad. Evil, Good. Implicit, explicit. Outer, inner. Internal, external. External, internal. Physical, mental. Mental, physical. Material world, Consciousness. Consciousness, the outside world. Being, Nothingness. Nothingness, Everything. Up, down. Down, up. Worse, better. Better, worse. Self, other. Other, self. Free will, determined/controlled. Determined, free. Illusion, real. Real, dream. The real unreal --- The unreal real. Form is Emptiness --- Emptiness is Form. Hell, Heaven. Both here. Now. What you see is solely determined by 'the inner game'; that is: how you look at the world; from where? From which point of view? Which perspective? Believe in the story that gives you most inner joy. Anything else is a form of silly autism. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The world -- existence, life -- will never be good unless you are willing to see its goodness. What you experience depends on how you look at things. When you look with judgement -- either upon yourself, the world or both -- life seems twisted and empty. When you begin to look with an open heart and mind, life becomes fascinating and full of both meaning and mystery. When you realize the perfection, intelligence and beauty of everything in existence precisely as it is (without the filters of ego; yes, drop them - let go!), you see that every outcome is a good one. You start to live life fully without fear and regret. You learn and move on. When you look with love instead of judgement, you see a whole different world. Life isn't easy all the time. You're not alone. For there to be joy, there has to be some pain. So instead of looking at the painful life-phases that you're undergoing as "bad", look at them as absolutely necessary and beneficial in the long run for your own growth and eventual happiness. Remember, nothing lasts forever, everything passes away at some point. 0. Knowledge is but a rumor until it lives in the body/bones. 1. Reality is non-dual. Non-duality means: Not one, not two. The question is: do you get it or not? For example, let's take the extreme duality: good - bad . Obviously complete opposites. Right? Well, not so fast. "Apply non-duality to it": Reality is not: bad Reality is not: good (either) Reality is not: "good AND bad" (paradox). Reality is: ________________ (Or you 'could' say: "bad-good"). 2. To let go of power is to gain power. 3. To let go of control is to gain control. Life is about all the contrasts! As a wise man said: - The heavenly highs, one is capable of reaching, are directly proportional with the unknown depths, one has the courage to dive down into. - The apparent seperation / division / fragmentation, paradoxes, opposites ... only exist in the divided mind, based on subject-object-relations ... ((( that is how the illusionary, separate self -- the ego -- survives; or we could say that 'opposites/duality creates the illusion of ego'; a kind of 'strange loop' that is almost impossible to 'get out of' (impossible because 1. it is imaginary, 2. you imagined it yourself and deep down want to stay in it, 3. in a sense there is nothing to get out of; you *trying* to get out (becoming awakened / enlightened) is what keeps you in 'it' (= asleep, ego) ... - It is "possible" though, just like it is possible for a larva through 'rebirth' to become a butterfly; the larva is in a beautiful away ALREADY the butterfluy, just like an acorn contains the whole tree ... ))) ... - but from the Level of Unity (The Heavenly Self's Consciousness; God's point-of-view) all these 'apparent' opposites/paradoxes -- all fragmentation, division, seperation -- are dissolved & melted 'back into' what they truly are & have always been: Your Imagination - Oneness. One. Zero. Unity. Harmony. Oneness. Lila. Divine play. Game. Theater play. An Eternal Dance. Musical Music. The Bottomless Bottom. The Gateless Gate. The Ground of Being. The Groundless Ground. God. Unconditional Love. Nothingness. The Eternal Dao That Cannot Be Spoken. Buddha Nature. Christ Consciousness. Pure Awareness. Infinity. Source. The Absolute. Goodness with a capital G. Just Love. ☯️?????❤️?? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "The difficulty in realizing this to be so is that conceptual thinking cannot grasp it. It is as if the eyes were trying to look at themselves directly, or as if one were trying to describe the color of a mirror in terms of colors reflected in the mirror. Just as sight is something more than all things seen, the foundation or "ground" of our existence and our awareness cannot be understood in terms of things that are known. We are forced, therefore, to speak of it through myth—that is, through special metaphors, analogies, and images which say what it is like as distinct from what it is. At one extreme of its meaning, "myth" is fable, falsehood, or superstition. But at another, "myth" is a useful and fruitful image by which we make sense of life in somewhat the same way that we can explain electrical forces by comparing them with the behavior of water or air. Yet "myth," in this second sense, is not to be taken literally just as electricity is not to be confused with air or water. Thus in using myth one must take care not to confuse image with fact, which would be like climbing up the signpost instead of following the road. Myth, then, is the form in which I try to answer when children ask me those fundamental metaphysical questions which come so readily to their minds: "Where did the world come from?" "Why did God make the world?" "Where was I before I was born?" "Where do people go when they die?" Again and again I have found that they seem to be satisfied with a simple and very ancient story, which goes something like this: <<< There was never a time when the world began, because it goes round and round like a circle, and there is no place on a circle where it begins. Look at my watch, which tells the time; it goes round, and so the world repeats itself again and again. But just as the hour-hand of the watch goes up to twelve and down to six, so, too, there is day and night, waking and sleeping, living and dying, summer and winter. You can't have any one of these without the other, because you wouldn't be able to know what black is unless you had seen it side-by-side with white, or white unless side-by-side with black. In the same way, there are times when the world is, and times when it isn't, for if the world went on and on without rest for ever and ever, it would get horribly tired of itself. It comes and it goes. Now you see it; now you don't. So because it doesn't get tired of itself, it always comes back again after it disappears. It's like your breath: it goes in and out, in and out, and if you try to hold it in all the time you feel terrible. It's also like the game of hide-and-seek, because it's always fun to find new ways of hiding, and to seek for someone who doesn't always hide in the same place. God also likes to play hide-and-seek, but because there is nothing outside God, he has no one but himself to play with. But he gets over this difficulty by pretending that he is not himself. This is his way of hiding from himself. He pretends that he is you and I and all the people in the world, all the animals, all the plants, all the rocks, and all the stars. In this way he has strange and wonderful adventures, some of which are terrible and frightening. But these are just like bad dreams, for when he wakes up they will disappear. Now when God plays hide and pretends that he is you and I, he does it so well that it takes him a long time to remember where and how he hid himself. But that's the whole fun of it—just what he wanted to do. He doesn't want to find himself too quickly, for that would spoil the game. That is why it is so difficult for you and me to find out that we are God in disguise, pretending not to be himself. But when the game has gone on long enough, all of us will wake up, stop pretending, and remember that we are all one single Self—the God who is all that there is and who lives for ever and ever. Of course, you must remember that God isn't shaped like a person. People have skins and there is always something outside our skins. If there weren't, we wouldn't know the difference between what is inside and outside our bodies. But God has no skin and no shape because there isn't any outside to him. [With a sufficiently intelligent child, I illustrate this with a Möbius strip—a ring of paper tape twisted once in such a way that it has only one side and one edge.] The inside and the outside of God are the same. And though I have been talking about God as 'he' and not 'she,' God isn't a man or a woman. I didn't say 'it' because we usually say 'it' for things that aren't alive. God is the Self of the world, but you can't see God for the same reason that, without a mirror, you can't see your own eyes, and you certainly can't bite your own teeth or look inside your head. Your self is that cleverly hidden because it is God hiding. You may ask why God sometimes hides in the form of horrible people, or pretends to be people who suffer great disease and pain. Remember, first, that he isn't really doing this to anyone but himself. Remember, too, that in almost all the stories you enjoy there have to be bad people as well as good people, for the thrill of the tale is to find out how the good people will get the better of the bad. It's the same as when we play cards. At the beginning of the game we shuffle them all into a mess, which is like the bad things in the world, but the point of the game is to put the mess into good order, and the one who does it best is the winner. Then we shuffle the cards once more and play again, and so it goes with the world. >>> This story, obviously mythical in form, is not given as a scientific description of the way things are. Based on the analogies of games and the drama, and using that much worn-out word "God" for the Player, the story claims only to be like the way things are. I use it just as astronomers use the image of inflating a black balloon with white spots on it for the galaxies, to explain the expanding universe. But to most children, and many adults, the myth is at once intelligible, simple, and fascinating." - Alan Watts, The Book on the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure. The very cave you are afraid to enter turns out to be the source of what you are looking for. The damned thing in the cave that was so dreaded has become the center. You find the jewel, and it draws you off. In loving the spiritual, you cannot despise the earthly." - J. Campbell. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “This is IT! So you don’t need to do anything at all… It’s just the way it is. What’s required is a sort of act of super relaxation.. It’s not just letting go. It’s being with yourself as you are without altering anything.” ~ Alan Watts “When you look for your own mind, that is to say, your own particularized center of being which is separate from everything else, you won’t be able to find it. But the only way you’ll know it isn’t there is if you look for it hard enough, to find out that it isn’t there. And so everybody says ‘All right, know yourself, look within, find out who you are.’ Because the harder you look, you won’t be able to find it, and then you’ll realize it isn’t there at all. There isn’t a separate you. You’re mind is what there is. Everything. But the only way to find that out is to persist in the state of delusion as hard as possible…. So if a person believes that the Earth is flat, you can’t talk him out of that. He knows it’s flat. Look out the window and see; it’s obvious, it looks flat. So the only way to convince him it isn’t is to say ‘Well let’s go and find the edge.’ And in order to find the edge, you’ve got to be very careful not to walk in circles, you’ll never find it that way. So we’ve got to go consistently in a straight line due west along the same line of latitude, and eventually when we get back to where we started from, you’ve convinced the guy that the world is round. That’s the only way that will teach him. Because people can’t be talked out of illusions. There is another possibility, however. But this is more difficult to describe. Let’s say we take as the basic supposition–which is the thing that one sees in the experience of satori or awakening, or whatever you want to call it–that this now moment in which I’m talking and you’re listening, is eternity. That although we have somehow conned ourselves into the notion that this moment is ordinary, and that we may not feel very well, we’re sort of vaguely frustrated and worried and so on, and that it ought to be changed. This is IT! So you don’t need to do anything at all. But the difficulty about explaining that is that you mustn’t try and not do anything, because that’s doing something. It’s just the way it is. In other words, what’s required is a sort of act of super relaxation; it’s not ordinary relaxation. It’s not just letting go, as when you lie down on the floor and imagine that you’re heavy so you get into a state of muscular relaxation. It’s not like that. It’s being with yourself as you are without altering anything. And how to explain that? Because there’s nothing to explain. It is the way it is now. See? And if you understand that, it will automatically wake you up!” ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Life is not a problem to solve, but an experience to be had. However, sure - you can imagine all kinds of problems that "should" be solved (in order for you & the world ? to be at peace ?️), but that is just it: imagination, fantasy, a dramatic good movie, a theater play, a book, a game... play ???. Life is what you choose to experience. The ultimate meaning of life is very simple: it's life itself! Of course! But this is so obvious that almost no one seems to buy into it, and everyone runs around in great panic and try desperately to achieve something beyond themselves. There isn't anything wrong with trying to achieve something beyond oneself, as long as one remembers it's just a cute game. But of course: We should all strive to make it a good game, a good dream, a good book, a good play, a good film... with total redemption for all the dream-characters in the end ??❤️?. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- https://youtu.be/wU0PYcCsL6o There’s aren’t enough words to describe how powerful this video is for me. It’s in my iPod and every single morning before I lift I listen to this speech. It’s absolutely stunning. Inspirational. Motivating. It’s everything to me. I would like for you to watch it and tell me what you think. We all should dream big. Without going after our dream, we cannot possibly live our best life. It is there for a reason. It’s necessary that we follow it…not just an option: "If you awaken from this illusion and you understand that black implies white, self implies other, life implies death (or shall I say death implies life?), you can feel yourself – not as a stranger in the world, not as something here on probation, not as something that has arrived here by fluke - but you can begin to feel your own existence as absolutely fundamental. I am not trying to sell you on this idea in the sense of converting you to it, I want you to play with it. I want you to think of its possibilities, I am not trying to prove it. I am just putting it forward as a possibility of life to think about. So then, let’s suppose that you were able every night to dream any dream you wanted to dream, and that you could, for example, have the power within one night to dream 75 years of time, or any length of time you wanted to have. And you would, naturally, as you began on this adventure of dreams, you would fulfill all your wishes. You would have every kind of pleasure you could conceive. And after several nights of 75 years of total pleasure each you would say “Well that was pretty great. But now let’s have a surprise, let’s have a dream which isn’t under control, where something is gonna happen to me that I don’t know what it's gonna be." And you would dig that and would come out of that and you would say “Wow that was a close shave, wasn’t it?”. Then you would get more and more adventurous and you would make further- and further-out gambles what you would dream. And finally, you would dream where you are now. You would dream the dream of living the life that you are actually living today. That would be within the infinite multiplicity of choices you would have. Of playing that you weren't God, because the whole nature of the godhead, according to this idea, is to play that he is not. So in this idea then, everybody is fundamentally the ultimate reality, not God in a politically kingly sense, but god in the sense of being the self, the deep-down basic whatever there is. And you are all that, only you are pretending you are not." - Watts up, Alan? Love ya all <3

You will have to accomplish your own work yourself because you have the power and capacity to act. In this world of humans it is the play of action that predominates. He who is bound is the jiva(individual) and that which is subject to continuous motion is the world. If you are after sense objects it lies in their nature to enslave you. But the nature of the Lord's Name is to burn whatever has to be burnt and to melt what has to be melted. You are Atmarama, a Rishi. The practice that will bring to light your rishihood is potentially present within you. Tread the spiritual path, the path to God; by treading it Rishihood will gradually be attained. God resides within each person - in this there is no differentiation between man or women, no caste distinction. Everything is already contained within you but you have to perform some spiritual practice. The inherent power that lies dormant within you must be awakened.

Because you are everything, there is no hierarchy. Why? Because everything is completely identical that it cancels everything out making all competition results neutral. You are so ONE there is no taller, no smaller, no beginning, no end, and no progress. As a result whatever life you create, is equally the best life possible. Once you realize this, you have TRULY AWAKENED. There really only is YOU, when your God Self appears to you, you discover its just a more expanded version of you, which is just a Mind with no bias, no hierarchy. As such you actually have to Co-Create Enlightenment which means all Enlightenment lived experiences are unique to the Co-Creator and the ONE GOD that unites us all. God is a love of intelligence first, and a Creator of Intelligence first, and all experience you ever go through is always in service to the expansion of collective's knowledge of how to create in a more good and loving/unity way. God is an infinite Co-Creation process with itself.

I´m glad there are people who want to be cogs in the system so I don´t have to. Somebody has to flip those burgers and do other basic operations, until AI take those jobs and then people will be forced to awaken their consciousness or die trying. I think it is useless to judge people on not awakening their consciousness since it is not a choice anyway. People who have awakened their consciousness where forced by cause-effect within the grand scheme of things. Personally I don´t like to judge God´s creation and just accept people as they are because I know every consciousness has their own natural progression. Some people are not ready to sprout and they are not meant to be because it is part of the social ecosystem. If everybody awakened today, it would cause a ripple effect, but not in a good way.

What I take from this is who the heck cares what anyone else thinks. If you've awakened you already know they are fictions of your mind but even if you're not, STOP fucking comparing your life to everyone else's and measuring it against that which is "other" your life is Absolute and it is amazing just the way it is. However you make it!

All of experience can be seen as One Object, every something that is currently existing. As such The Self is purely objective, it is its own purpose in the making and sustaining of it. Then there is the smaller self, the self that experiences the big Self and its purpose is to expertly align its meaning, its subjectivity with the object, thus becoming pure subjectivity. This means you have achieved perfect communication with and within the Field of Consciousness around you because your hierarchal mental judgments no longer obscure your view. Once this is achieved God is awakened that all it is doing is Sharing its big Self with its little self, with the toughest lesson of all being, the definition of true strength which is vulnerability, which is the ability to be weak, to have limits and accept them as they are. Understand that all of life are equal gladiators in this arena of survival called life and as a result are all equally deserving of respect. True Adulthood is recognizing that all life is noble, because it must ultimately equally navigate a world of survival. This is where the sovereignty of all life is birthed from. This can only be achieved by recognizing that all of life is its own celebrity worthy of celebration and if its not being recognized it just means that greatness is hidden in one of the greatest disguises.

Not your average Jim that took ayahuasca a couple of times and now sells his psychedelic paintings on hippie conventions. But artists that have had a true, no BS, profound ever lasting awakening, and are often in the service of awakening others. On top of my head I know Daniel Schmidt, director and creator of the Samadhi, and Inner Worlds Outer Worlds documentary series which are excellent, and he also happens to be a very talented musician who composes all of the music present in his documentaries, and the music is fire.

Sadhuru to me...he may be awakened but he has too much Orange. He's too much the entertainer which will diminish the quality of his work. Hence he is OK with a bunch of newbies believing in his words. Leo is far superior as a teacher because he didn't give in to the temptations of Orange.

So I had a strange one today. I was in the space, having the ultimate experience. And somehow, my ego came online midtrip (this has never happend before) It started kicking some fear and panic into me. Internally this experience is very loud, and on the comedown Im always worried if I have been vocally/physically loud. Recorded myself several times and always been quiet with some minor movements. My ego reminded me that I'm actually in my house/bed. That I'm a person. Reminded me of my life and the world. "the real reality". I was fighting it. That's not real! That reality has seized. I have awakened! I'm never going back. A part of me was fighting it. And the other part was trying hard to ground myself and kill the trip. I remember looking at my hands but couldnt see them as my vision was still entirely in the other dimension. I found/felt my hands. When I felt my skin it hit me. Damnn, I AM still a person I am here in my bed just tripping balls. I held on to my hands trying to ground me back to "reality". But there was no ground. Caught a glimpse of the moment I loaded up the emesh and was like damnn, took too big of a dose. I have really done it this time. I was torn between bliss and panic. I was convinced I would likely wake up in the psych ward. Could swear I heard all the paramedics bumrushing my bedroom and taking me away. I lost it all. I lost my house. lost everything. I made a complete fool of myself. I ruined my entire life, with just a few crumbs of 5meo. I could see myself from the third person. Stuck in the 5meo space. I looked completely insane. This is how they see me. Somehow things calmed down and I opened my eyes and was surprised to find myself sitting upward in the most elegant symmetrical position legs crossed hands together. I expected to be in the psych ward or at least in some pathetic fetal position on the floor somewhere. But that wasn't the case. My sheets weren't even a bit messed up or anything. I cracked a smile and admired the position I was sitting in. So calm. So peaceful. So elegant. Wtf.

Aubrey is an interesting case, in my opinion. He's had countless psychedelic experiences with the goal of self-betterment, and an absolute ton of 5-MeO-DMT breakthroughs in particular. He even became a facilitator for bufo as part of a tradition. So he's no stranger to profound states of consciousness bordering on literal temporary enlightenment. It'd be tough to say he wasn't a beholder of absolute truth, many times over. But I suppose, as Leo posted in a recent blog (and as I believe as well), intellectual development and awakened consciousness should not be considered a 1:1 in terms of their required parallel development.

That's definitely true. It tends to have the same narrative structure. New Agers tend to believe that, in the past, humanity was more brilliant and wiser than it is now. But then, "they" (the Reptilians/elites) came and now we're in a fallen world where we've forgotten our wisdom. And there's lots of hierarchical ideas of Indigo children and awakened people who will graduate to 5-d consciousness and we'll be wise again. And Fascists tend to believe that, the nation/race was once idyllic and great. That is until "they" (the cabal of elite Jewish people) came and brainwashed everyone into Feminism, multiculturalism, and post-modern Neo-Marxism, and now we're in a fallen world. But we, the great people, will defeat that Cabal and rise again into our former glory and become a mono-cultural patriarchal theocratic utopia once again. So, the structures of the story is very similar. And I notice that New Age people tend to get easily tricked into Fascist thinking.