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Heaven and hell are normally seen as two different physical places (with unknown locations) where you/your soul goes after you physically die. You go to heaven, if you are "good" --> You do the "right" things that the sacred books tell you to do. You go to hell, if you are "bad" --> You don't follow what's written in the sacred books. The problem is that religious books were written by men mainly with a poethic and figurative language (with allegories and such) and that many people interpret (by cherry picking the passages) sacred books "licterally" and/or in a materialistic way, so that they see heaven and hell as physical places and they decide to believe to this "good" and "bad" foreplay narrated in the sacred books. And that judgments are a mainly human invention. There is no "good" or "bad", but only facts that happen and that our mind define "good" or "bad" through some kind of cultural/personal imprinting. In reality it's all just a story. Heaven and hell as figurative places where you stay there and live in bliss or burn forever don't exist. There is indeed some kind of karma system (eg inherited karma from the family/genetic) existing in our world, but not in a way that lead you to go to a place or to another, but rather that create a heavier pain body in you or a lighter one. So what's heaven? Eckart Tolle describes heaven as the state of peace in which you are where you are really conscious of the present moment. If your mind is not drifting away in the future or in the past or rather by attaching itself to some emotion or some kind of idea/concept etc. you'll experience peace and that peace is heaven. Leo likes to describe heaven as becoming conscious of your Godly nature (that you are God/infinite).

Set and setting: Together with two close friends who also are deeply invested in spirituality. We did it outside in nature in Denmark with no others around. We had blanket, GVG pipe, torchlighter, dmt in capsules, mat to lay on, pillow, eye shades to be in total darkness, hand pan to play beautiful music on the comedown (the nature's delicate music of birds chirping and soft wind was already veru beautiful). We had already done 2-3 grams of dried of mushrooms two days beforehand, which we were still feeling the afterglow of (very playful blissful spiritual experience with lots of small beautiful insights into my own and other's psychology). We were together for 5 days in a summer cottage. On this day of smoking DMT, we also had 1-2 hours before smoking ingested 60 mg MDMA to see if it could help calm pre-flight anxiety/jitter and make it easier to break-through/let go. So my mindset before the MDMA was already very peaceful, loving and calm (been awake for +5 weeks now, never had a bad day since, since all is just love and god and oneness/bliss for me these days) and the 60 mg MDMA made me even more calm and zoomed into the present. I was extremely open and peaceful and couldn't wait to take that one big hit of 30 mg dmt and hold it in my lungs as long as I could. So I did. DMT is very visual for me and the dominant color I see now is yellow. I get the usual feeling of delicious loving heat in all my body, and I start making involuntary movements with my arms, like I'm an angel moving its wings. The next I know these yellow/black-fractals start morphing into some kind of extradimensional extremely metaconcsius entity. First I get a little frightened, but then I remember to just be open, and I communicate through thought to this being: "show me more, show me more". And then I break through. I get shot into this being while losing all contact with my body. While merging with this being, I see that it is me. And I then get a overwhelming extreme intense sensation of being God and seeing that absolutely everything in existence is my own doing, and that it is all absolutely pure Love/Goodness. It's not that I see it. I was it. I am Love. I am God. I am all of Reality/Consciousness. Being in this state of Oneness felt like eternity. Absolute Nirvana. Absolute Bliss. Pure Infinite Love. So Good that words fail to describe how Good it is. After this eternal peak of Oneness/Godhood, I slowly begin coming back. But even this come-down of coming back to my body felt like a looong time (the whole trip lasted actually only 10-15 minutes). The first thing that happens is that I slowly merge out of this yellow metaconcsius entity/God, and then the entity gets dissolved into an infinite number of what I can only describe as Machine Elves. They had little hats and were whirling around in circles in front of my vision. They were so happy to see me, so loving, and they were making lots of music with their voices. They wanted me to participate, so I began making noises with my mouth to tune into their energitic frequency, "laaaaaaaaaa" and so on. It was pure joy being together with these "elves". We were just having fun. Then slowly, these elves dissolved and I started really coming back to my body. It felt like being reborn. Extreme gratitude like I've only felt on my last 40 mg 2cb trip 5 weeks ago. My ego came back and it could nothing but surrender to the Truth of what I had become/remembered myself to be: Love, God, Oneness. I started to say and repeat sentences like "how can living be so good?" ,"I don't understand" ... " I DO understand!" " It's too much" ..."I cant take it" .. "Yes, I CAN take it!" "Its all Love" .."just remember to breathe... there's no rush, nothing to get to" ... And I came back, took my eyeshades off and saw the beautiful sky with the sparkling white clouds. I felt the sand around me, lifted some of it up in my hand and I was just stunned to have a body, to be able to move an arm, and hold sand in my hand and let it fall out down to the ground. I told my friends that I was speechless, that I had nothing to say, because words won't do what I experienced justice. Great trip. DMT is surely something. Remember to breathe guys, take it easy, there's nothing to get to. Heaven is already the case and could never not be the case. There is truly nothing to fear. Of course if you don't feel like it's Heaven and feel stressed and feel like there is a lot to worry about/get to; then that is also perfectly Perfect and absolutely also Pure Love, God having an intense dream. Bless you all❤️

Saturday July 25th, 23:04 I think I'm past the worst of this dark night of the soul, although I can't say that with full confidence yet. It's been extremely rough. There have been some times in the last two months where it's just been terror. I really don't want to talk about it too much right now, but just some really dark feelings and thoughts. Although I can't say this with full confidence either yet, my way out of this seems to be that it's important that I start working towards a life purpose. Hence I have bought the life purpose course in a sort of moment of panic. When I bought the life purpose course I was repeating to myself "I MUST, I MUST", but very quickly I found that this attitude of trying to force myself to do something like this wasn't going to work. Since then, I don't have the same kind of obsessive attitude about it, but in its place has come an attitude where I'm just like... what gives... I can do it anyway because the alternative of not trying anything and not doing anything isn't going to serve me any better. I have been having that attitude with a lot of things lately. With many things, I am not sure if it's going to work or if it's going to help me, but do I rather just stay in bed depressed? Today I had a moment of clarity in which I realised or felt that I had the power within me to actually create a lasting change within myself and really create a good life for myself and consistently spend a lot energy developing structures, routines, disciplines and so forth, whereas before I never felt like I could because 'I don't work that way' or 'everything goes in cycles so it's only inevitable for me to quit it' or whatever clever reasoning I had. I started to notice that whenever I felt like I couldn't continue with something but then still did it, thinking it was the last time I would still have the energy for it, that then the next day I found I could do it again, and then the next day I could do it again, making me now think that this whole notion of me 'having to eventually quit or take a break from everything I try to do structurally' was perhaps maybe just all in my head, a strong self-fulfilling prophecy. There's still things I tend to be reluctant towards to accept or at least to let go of. Why do I have to suffer? Why is there suffering in this universe? Is there really more peace and bliss than there is suffering in existence? Bla Bla Bla... Useless questions. Getting me nowhere. In a way I'm sort of lucky to be such a deep spiritual non-dualistic thinker because it just makes me feel like the notion of suicide doesn't make any improvement in the best case scenario, and will give you only more trouble in the worst case scenario. I've had suicidal thoughts, but thoughts of what would happen if I did commit suicide made me too afraid to seriously consider doing something like that, although I have fantasized... I really don't like being here on this earth in this position. I don't like what I'm feeling and thinking, and I don't like what I'm seeing around me on this earth. But it's useless to complain, be negative and be miserable. The only thing I can do, the only thing I am really forced to do, is to start focussing on what my possibilities are, on what can be done and what life can be created for myself, alternated with just being very present in the moment and being in the here in now. A little bit of hope, a little bit of presence. That's all I can rely on right now. That's all I'm really forced to be concerned with. I can have hope for the future, but I got to realize that the steps taken towards a more fulfilling future are being taken right now, and that really the only power I have to create a situation in which both my inner and outer reality are more... prosperous are being dependent upon the steps I am taking right now. But at least I'm starting to feel like there is some power within me to create a life that is really fulfulling, that there is some possibility that can create a life for myself that can be really peaceful and joyful and not be forced to 'suffer my karma' as some kind of victim as I previously believed. I dreaded that idea and it gave me a feeling of deep despair.

Another enlightenment exercise: Noting aloud Kenneth Folk quote: http://awakenetwork.org/forum/kfd-archive-wetpaint/12498-tips-for-stream-entry “ Forget about the tips and tricks. Forget about the centerpoint. Forget about the 3 characteristics. Forget about whether you think you are concentrated or not. Forget about what you think you know about meditation. Every time you discover the "problem" with your meditation, note your reaction to that thought. Note the thought itself. Note once per second, aloud, for the duration of your sitting. Note catastrophizing, dramatizing, histrionics, self-pity, evaluation thoughts, impatience, despair, self-loathing, joy, triumph, scenario spinning, longing, desire for deliverance, irritation, doubt, bliss, absorption, distraction, fear, anger, rage, disgust, euphoria, hope, contentment, anticipation, softness, hardness, coolness, warmth, pulsing, burning, itching, throbbing, stinging, tingling, hearing, seeing, tasting, smelling, pleasant, unpleasant, neutral, petulance, futility, dullness, fatigue; what have I left out? Of course you would like some kind of a shortcut or a tip. There is no such thing. There is only the mastery of this simple technique. By the time you master this technique, you will be an arahat. If you distract yourself from this technique by trying to tweak the recipe, the warrantee is void. “

I never knew about happiness I didn’t think dreams came true I couldn’t really believe in love Until I finally met you If I could have all the time in the world I know what I would do, yes I’d spend the time In pleasure sublime just by being with you Of everything I know and love and treasure It’s you my love, who gives me perfect pleasure I love your way with me, your touch, your kiss, your smile To be with you is happiness and bliss

Leo's already tried this or thought about this (based on his video). And so the following wont help him. But for others, I want to share an experience about my severe stomach pains and how I cope with it. So since I was a kid, I've had extremely bad irritable bowel syndrome. And it affected my energy levels. It affected concentration for meditation, sex, studying ability, a whole lot. And feeling sick all the time sucks. Like literally since I was a kid, after every fucken meal, I would feel sick to the stomach. I, like Leo, tried all traditional methods. Doctors did scans of my chest, endoscopy, gave me heaps of anti biotics, blood tests, vitamin B12 injections etc to no avail. They ended up telling me it was from 'anxiety' and sent me to a psychiatrist, which ended up fucking me up more. Doctors don't really value irritable bowel syndrome, because its not inflammatory. But for all I know I've got crohn's disease and their diagnostic methods are just so cheap that they will only pick it up once it gets severely worse. I've also tried a few non traditional methods to no avail. (funny that the oldest methods are called 'non traditional') So a month or 2 ago, I had a skype session with a spiritual teacher (who is actually active on this forum). And I told him, I've got severe stomach pains and it affects my ability to do pickup and meditate. What I've noticed is that certain feelings affect behaviour. For example, if you feel blissful from a psychedelic, your behaviour changes and you start skipping, taking more risks, etc. If you are sick, its like the opposite, your behaviour starts to become reclusive and fearful and lack of consciousness. I was about to ask him if he could explain the metaphysical/non dual mechanics of what's going on, but before I could he stopped me right there: "welllllllll... I would be careful about your interpretation of what's going on, because if you want to do pickup and you feel sick from having a hangover, you can still have the best time of your life and be the most blissful you've ever been. There is nothing inherently absolute about the feeling of sickness which says you must act a certain way." Then I told him "but like, if you feel sick, your behaviour does change, like when you take mescaline for example, you start talking to the neighbours, or when you take alcohol you start doing other stuff" Then he said "yeah but that's all just because you're interpreting those experiences to mean something, and your behaving in according to those meanings, not to the experiences themselves" And then I said "so sickness and psychedelics are just a placebo effect?" Then he said "everything is a placebo effect" So this conversation opened me up to the possibility that everything you feel is an interpretation and a placebo effect. And actually I believed it, because I felt extremely sick taking the cactus, but when the cactus kicked in, even though I felt extremely sick, I felt amazing. And I was picking up chicks outside just because the mescaline was so strong. So that was evidence that this teacher was onto something. So now, whenever I feel sick, or tired, I question whether the feeling is associated with the semantic meaning of "tired" or whether I'm making that up, and then I try to invoke Love and Bliss to dissolve the sensation of tiredness and sickness. You would be suprised, in the same way you can dissolve negative emotions through emotional mastery exercises, you can dissolve the feeling of sickess and tiredness through invoking love and bliss onto the feeling and by questioning whether the feeling is associated with the meaning that is causing the behaviour (inspecting feeling from thought, and separating them).

@Space that...is fuckin class (<In northern Ireland thats a saying that's very common, it's like saying thats awesome). Man, the vibrations are brilliant...it makes you feel like your gonna vomit tho to haha haha? But the bliss is *sooooooooo* heavy, weighing down on me, my face, my arms...I can't move, or don't want to move. Bliss is the reality in that place. ? Pure. Amazing Man, I am so humbled by this whole experience, it's fucken awesome. I just can't wait to get more 5meo and progress towards enlightenment wayyyyyyyy faster ♥️

Haha ... Actually literally nothing, fuck. Yoooo I need to order myself more 5meo haha. Jesus. I had a really challenging DMT trip 2 days ago, had sort of divine heavenly music playing in my ears and I smoked a big bit of DMT and WOOSH everything magnified and turned into ULTRA HD blue digital pixils/tiles and massive chunks of reality where just getting ripped out with this amazing spectacle to behold. I remember shouting after it was over "wow"..."WOW......"*.W.O.W.**** really loud. Unfortunately the majority of my trip I was locked in a room with my *being* being ripped and destroyed and obliterated for 10 minutes haha. I knew it would purify me lots. After, I thought "fuck it" and smoked up 15mg of 5meo hcl (the batch that was good) unfortunately that was all I had left so I'm gonna have to order more. At that point I was translated into realms of bliss where overwhelleming euphoria permeates perpetually through your entire body and reality. Heaven. Lol. I can't WAIT to get moreeeee ?

yeah, angel always leave me with tears of love and bliss, soul travel really interesting, I heard of it before however never had experience with it are you aware of the travel ? do you have any memory of the experience or just see the outcome from it? I see you are reading An Introduction to Chaos Magic Chaos Magic one the best kind of magic for us we human are better in Chaos Magic than other spirit-entity best of luck

Some people have found great value in working with 5-MeO-DMT at lower dosages. Other people say 5 Meo dmt low dose is complete waste of time. Of course having a breakthrough experience on 5 meo dmt is much more valuable than low dose. But what about people who are not ready yet for a full dose and still want to get some value from this divine medicine. I want to share my results and want to know what values you get from low dose 5 meo dmt trips. Do you use it for therapeutic work? Do you do yoga exercises? Breath work? What do you do in the come up phase which is mostly very unpleasant? Here are my personal results from these trips,: Setting: I plugged low dose (3 mg - 10 mg) 5 Meo dmt hcl 15 times (with a different boofing technique postet here) and just sit in silence in my room with eyes opened or closed. during the trip: there is almost no fear, even when heart beat is racing and heavy breathing occur which last for 1-3 minutes no visuals at all negative thoughts in come up phase like "why are you doing this? maybe this time I will experience something really shocking, I should not do this again in the near future, please let the trip end in some Minutes) a little nausea sometimes sometimes I feel a little dizzy and cannot locate myself which is weird and unconfontable after comeup I can meditate well, there are less thoughts very rare: (just one time 4 mg low dose) I feel bliss and tears from my eyes flow. I wish I could experience this every time low dose.. after the trip: Biggest value: very strong music enhancement even days after. it feels like my head is slightly burning when I hear music. my dreams sometimes are a little psychedelic

Hey, i am very happy to hear. I am in the process of all that, because i have nothing else going for me right now. Since i have unfortunate circumstances i am doing my best to rest in myself, yes it produces some unusual levels of bliss and a few quantum glimpses, but nothing else sadly. Fortunately i have reinforced myself with timeless truths to apply when there is friction and restless consciousness stinking somewhere. Feels lile if i keep going there, i will be victorious. And thats because i am not worrying about when.

Hello everybody. I decided to post a guide on how I managed to activate my pineal gland. It involves DMT. Anyways, here it is: Here is the method: 1. Find a dark and comfortable room to sit in any meditation posture of your choosing. 2. Prepare your meditation music. This is what I prefer: https://youtu.be/cDCS19EOsrA 3. Prepare a good dose of DMT to smoke (a sublevel blastoff dose is about 0.02-0.028g.) enough to ALMOST blastoff. Remember, YOU MUST BE IN A DARK ROOM. Hold the hit in for as long as you can. If you think the dose might have been too big and you may blastoff, then don't hold it in for that long and exhale. 4. Once there, close your eyes and you will see a light. That light is your pineal gland on the verge of activation. Follow that light while concentrating on the meditation music and you should eventually reach a metaphorical door that will lead into a metaphorical sea of consciousness. Remember that since DMT only lasts 10 minutes that you only have a 10 minute window to access the sea of consciousness. Concentrate on blending that sea of consciousness with the meditation music. Afterwards, let everything melt. Free yourself. Let everything go. Find peace by letting go of peace. 5. There will either be a full-blown activation of the third eye or a partial awakening. However, both will be a sea of peace. 6. You will know the pineal gland is activated when you feel an intense pressure in the center of your brain. 7. The feeling is of intense peace, intense bliss, intense happiness that is infinite and ongoing. It never stops. You can remain in this state forever if you so choose. You can open your eyes whenever. Congratulations, look at your shadow and see the aura of sacred geometry outline your shadow. See the red ribbons floating down in celebration. And see the pinecone in your mind's eye. Difference between full-blown pineal activation and partial pineal activation: A full blown pineal gland activation will be accompanied with a vision of your consciousness going down a tunnel where all the demons and traumas of your past are confronted. The Niagara cascade of endogenous serotonin will wash away all the pain of the past. Also, I have reason to believe that the massive amounts of serotonin may come from the pineal gland converting melatonin or some other precursor into serotonin on the spot. Both a full-blown activation and partial activation will feel 100,000 times better than sex. When the pineal gland is activated, insanely massive amounts of serotonin floods the brain without any threat of serotonin receptor down regulation. This was something I thought was extremely interesting? How could activating the pineal gland release so much more serotonin than all the ecstacy in the world yet not cause any serotonin receptor down regulation and feel so incredibly healing and feel so infinitely blissful and infinitely happy? I have yet to understand this myself but my only current understanding is that why would the brain develop or have a defense mechanism against true happiness and true healing? The only difference between a partial activation is there are is no vision. A person can remain in both meditative states for as long as they want and the infinite bliss would never go away until they leave it.

I seriously cannot believe that nobody would actually even try or attempt this considering how you guys consider yourself psychonauts. Let me explain why that small amount of DMT is necessary, it is like a jumpstart for the piezoelectric motor of the pineal gland. That jumpstart lasts for only 10 minutes so if you cannot get that motor running within 10 minutes, then wait a few minutes and try again. Taking a blastoff dose can be compared to overrevving a motor, the brain has built in functions which reduce the RPMs. Activating the pineal gland is COMPLETELY different. The goal is to start the piezoelectric motor at an RPM that can sustain itself indefinitely. When you manage to achieve that, this is when you will feel INFINITE bliss and happiness. I suggest you stay in this meditative state for as long as you can. Me being the idiot that I am, the first time I stayed in it for 30 minutes and still felt infinite bliss for two hours after leaving the meditative state. The second time I attempted it, it had the same success rate, so me being the idiot I am, stayed in that meditative state for only about 45 minutes. Thinking it was so easy, the third time I tried it, instead my consciousness arrived at something written in Sanskrit, then I felt something push me down. I opened my eyes and my entire room was in quantum darkness. I could move but knew I couldn't occupy any space. Then something grabbed me and I was taken into some pocket dimension with two beings that looked very pissed off. Then I was taken into a pocket of dimensions where I was shown the only thing truly real was consciousness. I was FULLY conscious so this was completely different from a trip. I'm not sure if it's because I shared the method before attempting a third time but I haven't been able to activate it ever since. So don't take it for granted.

Meditation is supposed to make you feel. That's it. If it is terrible stuff that is surfacing up, it will make you feel that. If it's time for bliss and love, it will make you feel that. Go with it. Good luck

@Dylan Page hey man, just know this...that existential pain (greatest suffering in the world when I had it) makes for INCREDIBLE fuel for awakening... You should do what I did, dedicate yourself to the discovery/path. Do it legit. Even on this website, actual awakening is very very rare. Become one of the few to actually become immortal God♥️ do not believe you are God. Do not disbelieve you are God either. Practices practices practices. Kriya yoga, self enquiry, concentration, contemplation, investigation. You've clearly got something up with your mind...you could be psychotic. Truth is, I don't know why you have existential anxiety. But one thing I know...healing is available if your willing to do the practices. Most people here don't focus on the practices and don't take it seriously... And the only thing I have to say is, if your condition is making your life Impossible to live happily, then the only logical choice is to dedicate yourself to the path of healing. The actual version. Sacrafice your entire life and you will save your life ??? Matthew 16:25 (NLT, Bible) "If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it." Nobody will understand when you try to explain this to them by the way. They wont. Get yourself some psychedelics my friend, and use them with care and power. They are the real workers of magic. ♥️ Anxiety was massive for me, I know very much what it's like. Also, doctors won't help you. Practices (and psycs) will help u. Test your psycs before consumption. You do not know what awaits you post awakening. I'm not awake yet, but I know what is awaiting my intuitively. I feel it's bliss stalking me. Heaven. Nirvana. BLISS ????? everlasting life. Unending love. Entering the divine dimensions

@zeroISinfinity If there was absolutely nothing wrong with me I wouldn't be on a self help forum seeking advice from strangers on how to be happy lol. Coaching didn't work but there's more going on than just lack of development for coaching. I agree that i lack development and if i was more mature and at different stage in life than i bet Nahm's teachings could help me. But the main thing we got stuck on was how to choose a better feeling thought, that was the biggest block lol. Nahm would say pick a different thought that feels good, and my mind would start going all over the map trying and i could never find a better feeling thought. He also stressed the importance of meditation to feel good, but i've tried meditating a lot over the years and i never experienced what he was saying. It was basics of basics that i couldn't grasp. In hindsight i think LSD is what gave me the most improvement over the last few months. It forced me to just sit down and face what's going on. The only 2 good trips i had were trips where i was able to fully relax and release tension from my head. That's what it was that worked so well, the LSD just let me relax and unwind tension which i don't think i really ever did in my life. My family is full of insanely hard workers they don't know how to relax but for some reason it doesn't bother them. My uncle is a good doctor, and i sent him an email after my LSD breakthrough trip, where i felt bliss flowing through me and released all the tension from the third eye, and he told my mom he's pretty sure i'm manic depressive and i need lithium, or prozac. I think he's ri'ght. My guess is over the years i've been at a low, depressive state, and periodically i've hit highs, and those almost always come with major life upheavels. I think i got used to the Lows throughout the years, so the low state just became my baseline and i never really considered that i was just chronically depressed and in a low. I've reached to out some psychoanalysts that also work as psychiatrists so i'll know in the coming weeks about a diagnosis and treatment plan. I'm assuming meditation, running, thinking etc will be a lot more beneficial when i'm able to be relaxed and low tension from meds. @kag101 has posted a similar story. He was chasing enlightenment neurotically, doing meditation, ayausca, and various other new age therapies and he managed to find relief and real progress with meds and therapy.

I have to sit for at least 1 hour if I really want to bliss out in self inquiry. Imo one of two things is happening here: 1) Your I-thought has got to a blank state. This is a sneaky trick of the Ego where the mind goes quiet and creates the impression that it has been diminished, but actually it's just another mental state. I was fooled by this for about a year before I really understood what falling away was. If you want to check if this is happening I highly recommend Leo's guided "the next level of meditation" video as he really gets you to let go of everything. 2) Your definition of emotions are still wrapped up with the Egoic self, in which case you need to temper your expectations. Remember, you're going beyond the realm of conceptual experience here. Don't expect to be happy, excited, overjoyed or awe-struck whatever. These are all emotions about something. The emotion of abiding in the Self is beyond description but its about the most enjoyable feeling there is.

Follow your bliss. I'm repeating myself for the third time already, and I plan on doing so should a new thread require it, when I say -- let it be natural. Whatever purpose you are seeking you already are. It's not a purpose of some future you, of someone else. It's buried within you. Right now. At this moment. Otherwise you wouldn't be looking for it. It's right in your face. I say fuck that unless it's an intrinsic calling. You gotta sit down and be brutally authentic whether being of service to others is your top value. Don't mistake it for not sharing your gifts with the world. I had a period when I ached to become a mentor. In a way, I still do that through art; through imagination and metaphors, but I'm talking about the more direct version of teaching or coaching. Now, listen carefully. All I saw was ignorance in the world - everyone around me was ignorant - and therefore I wanted to "teach them a lesson." Be the wise guy. Be known for knowing. Would it really be authentic for me to become a teacher like Leo? No, it would be destructive and egoistic. After some awakenings, I realized 99,99% of people wouldn't get to the highest wisdom anyway and I never saw a point in teaching them directly again. Leo teaches because it is his inner calling, yet he knows there was never a point. I couldn't. Because my motives were to have people thank me and kiss my feet. Since then, my purpose is more hermitish. I admire what a real teacher has to endure. I really do. It's s noble cause. Your students will nod on everything you say, and yet 99,99% will remain miserable and blind. Look at Leo's most recent video's comment section. You could literally be as direct as possible with words, and yet there is hardly any way around this. That's why your purpose requires extreme authenticity. Only you can figure out whether it suits you. Remember the first paragraph.

I love the day I do go for walk outside and talk to everyone who can smile back at me. I guess you are now over-thinking of how to do this as step one as this, and step two as that, etc. Have you recalled back to just listen to that thought (not to debate to that), just listen to it? Pragmatically, you can do nothing, lay down for how-many-hour-you-think-you-need, and listen to it or at least let that thinking flowing through. Do nothing. You are young, I am even younger than you. But here is a thing: why you want to impact the world? -> You love yourself. That is not the romantic love sentence as you are in a Courtroom. You love yourself to do this process. You love yourself to be a little bit ‘not serious’ to sometimes joking around like ‘Here was difficult. Oops how it is going? And I don’t know’. And when that comes up, do you still keep doing or going outside and walking around. You love yourself as the same who are even being a so-called ‘mediocre’ as you don’t want to be. Willing you to talk about something or ask him or her what he or she is doing? And can you realize he or she has been a genius as well? ”A day is long and a year is short” What you love is needed to love the day. The love for even getting yourself to have a ‘depressed’ and because of that depression, can you please your mental health more than what-you-did-mention-as-following-your-heart? And the most powerful insight that how I need to keep myself following my bliss more is the Life Purpose is just as the way to keep yourself to live with love to contribute positively to this Experience and not to ‘how-to-be-a-genius’ or ‘read-1000+-books’, and ultimately you are living with love. The love of Life Purpose is so powerful but you are taking it as the whole world, sometimes it is but it is nothing when you have lists of techniques to do this stuff like ‘in the morning, I will have 3 cycles of deep work. And later maybe, I have 4 hours of pomodoros, and in the evening, I will speedread up to be Lenin’s style of that’. Hell no, is it that how-to? I still there is a ton of things that you are facing and I do too. But ask yourself, if you are even living somewhere else like SEA, willing you to do it or blame that country is not suitable for your so-called ‘Life Purpose’? Look around, you are having a lot of advantages than someone living in SEA like me. ? Nothing will change even that dream not being able to achieve but your love of this Experience. Don’t tell me because I am living in SEA and it’s as so-called counter-intuitive as ‘That is the disadvantage as the most motivating you as the real motivation’. ?!. I did wish.

@Dario1995 , those stories of spontaneous enlightenment and bliss experiences are more depressing than inspiring. Wonder how many people strive and aspire for the same and feel despair when nothting comes their way. I was given channelled advice that the high anxiety and tension caused by the striving acts as a barrier and so it is self-defeating. I spent many days and weeks in the belief that if I cried hard enough or desired hard enough I would become enlightened. Of course, it didn't happen. Have you read "Enlightenment Ain't What it's Cracked Up to be: A Journey of Discovery, Snow and Jazz in the Soul" by Robert Foreman? It is the most sensible book written on the topic. You'll find interviews by Robert Foreman on YouTube.

Yo yo yo Let's drop some words Full of Love, coming from above Sky full of swans and little doves Yeah, existence dancing in bliss The sky giving moon a little kiss Unity, love, compassionate hugs T-shirts, merch and actualized.org cups Running in the streets and swimming in the lake Feel like a rapper, i feel like drake The speed just keeps increasing and there are no brakes, and no breaks either, it's a continuous flow, running thru the ether I like cake, i like chocolate too Turtles Icecream is the best, i feel like not-two Yeah! My eyes are blue and I'm about to take a flight. Reach new heights. I'm not strapped to a rocket, I'm floating on light. The stars shine and the angel sings I let out a roar and spread my wings Unload my luggage from the wagon, i need no carry ons, I'm a dragon Oh yeah, the blue eyes white dragon Flying so high Living in the sky He's no ordinary guy He's not even shy Nor is he high He's friends with Bill Nye, the science man Watched all his shows, he's a big fan Don't need no tan Cuz it's hot, gimme an ice cold can I would run a mile but i already ran Just to end the show now Drop the mic, out of sight

@Marianitozz Hey, fellow artist! Listen up. I know this will take someone who's also a creator to answer. I went through the same process back in 2017-2019. Imagine a wave for me. Will you, please? Imagine a bell curve with only one hill in the middle. At first, you practice your craft without a second thought about selfishness and selflessness. Ignorance is bliss, and therefore you compose music or do writing in my case, just for the sake of it (assuming you did.) The beauty of art flooded your veins. Your heart was on fire. Everything was fine, but then, the goddamn spirituality came. How dare it stole my sweet illusions -- only wait, don't share that glass of wine. Don't drink from it yet. The point came where you arrived at the foot of the mountain. This is where the curve becomes steep. You slowly start walking up the hill, and at the peak you may find melancholic sorrow and feel like nothing has meaning anymore. This is also where you'll feel like you're balls deep in spirituality, when in fact you're as far as you could be. As you walk up, you take on new theories and ideas, perhaps even practices, and you start morphing into what should be the right thing to do. Often these thoughts aren't truly yours, and merely reflect your surroundings. Along the journey you hear about self-actualization and nonduality, and suddenly all your actions and goals strive to reflect this seeming Golden Bull of Sicily even harder, because if they don't, they are low consciousness, trash, ordinary. You might even take on new purposes that aren't yours, perhaps you'd want to shoot videos or become a coach like Leo, because your mind is so desperate to find itself. I've seen many people here do that, and I'm only hoping they knew themselves well enough at the time. Keep walking. One day, it will click for you. It might take you three weeks, or it might take you three years as it did for me. Here's the secret: The peak of the hill is an illusory top. Real spirituality comes later when the curve begins to flatten again. You come back to where you started (don't mistake it for the band or people) -- and practice your craft for the sake of it again. Only this time accompanied by a slight smile on the corner of your face. You appreciate the journey you had to undertake, for it brought peace and authenticity. You found the inner muse again, and life regained colors. I now write poems on Instagram and plan on immersive short stories. The question that truly settled me after all those years: What am I practicing writing for? What am I channeling through it? Truth is, you could say I became a refracting glass prism. That, and only that, a vehicle for reflecting the beauty of the universe. That is my purpose as an artist. On the outside, people may see the rainbow fragments of light, but to you art became something greater along the way. It was great even when you began, only now you realize it. I'll be waiting for you, fellow artist.

@zeroISinfinity I'm not seeking anymore, not in the sense that i expect to find awakening or enlightenment or bliss etc. I'm going still going to talk to Ramaji because i enjoy the call, and there's no downside to continuing. Good thing about seeking map with stages, is i know if i'm at a certain stage or not. if nothing changes in direct experience over next few months and i'm stuck at a singular stage then i'll know to just move on. I don't have any actual life stuff going on. Today i woke up, had tea and oatmeal from my grandma, argued with you and freaked about Nahm, then went to doorshop until 7, then talked to my mom about her maybe being sick and worrying about me and my brother, then sent some emails to psychoanalysits/psychiatrists, then weighed blueberries, now i'm on couch talking to you. The entire day is permeated by background sadness and hopeless feeling. I'm pretty fucking sure this is depression, and this is why they have therapists and psychiatrists to deal with problems like this. I wonder how many people just brute force through these feelings and thoughts, thinking they don't need therapy and meds because it's not real and then get stuck in misery for years for no reason. Every fucking idiot on this forum was sucking off @winterknight a few months ago, before i got here. I actually heard of him from one your posts. You know what he fucking said. Seekers should see psychoanalyst before going for full awakening because psychological baggage will be too much to notice results. He said work through psychological issues first. Which is exactly what i'm going to do.

I had a short glimpse of non-dual state which lasted for a day. I went out and everything I saw, no matter what it did, I saw that it was all me. I had a deep sense of bliss and love, but slowly as I began to describe the state, it all went away. I haven't tried psychedelics and in fact, my first mystical experience was a result of just being introduced to enlightenment and Alan Watts' talks about the World being the Self. Do you have any advice as to how I can navigate this bind when the ego has complete grasp on the mystical state? I know that it is silly to ask these questions because there is nothing to ask about but if you would like to guide me here, I would appreciate it.

@Thought Art I love the concept that the mastery will find you and not you to find the mastery. It’s now all about your happiness or so-called ‘follow your bliss’ in the time that you settle down for the training, work, learn, etc. You don’t care about ‘whether tomorrow you have got better or not’, so there is for what as you might think but beyond that. That thing is the real thing to work on yourself. What is the thing that is not supported to that but your mind while you think you are not able to achieve that thing? Hey, there are still goals as well. It's not different than some folks who are having the tracking-every-minute schedule of every day when you wake up and see the distance between you and your dreams. And you know clearly that how burned-out will kill your next days. Even you are a polymath who loves a lot of thing, don’t cram everything without reading carefully with your curious. I did read a lot but nothing would help, and burned out a lot. Even that you need to do the counter-intuitive move: slowly reading and enjoy it as the nothing will change even the mastery you dream of being not ever able to achieve. And if you still think you must read a book a day to follow your dreams, you will not able to be at least a Polymath. Do you want that schedule while you’re in what-you-did-mention? And still love that?