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Running. You get the runners high and incredibly sharp clarity of thought, almost as if you're channeling. It pays huge dividends back to your work. You do not have to run very far, anything like 1.5 miles to 8 miles or so. Running 5 miles totally puts me in bliss like lala land, and I start being less effective but 2 miles is a good daily routine. I'm sure it varies for others.

I can speak based on what I experienced with LSD and what Leo said in his "What is death?" video. What you're saying is probably the most accurate outcome of life after death. Leo says it, forum users say it, other sources say it, and LSD showed me it. It's completely lights out. No mind, no thoughts, no feelings, no attachments, no memories of life on earth, no human senses, no self. You cease to exist. One thing you're missing here though is that, with non-existence there's this state of pure bliss. Leo mentions this in the video, and it happened in my LSD trip as well. This is probably the best thing that ever happened to me, it was so peaceful that I actually wanted it to last for eternity. This is probably where the concept of heaven came from. Another thing to add is that, in a way its similar to us as humans, being asleep. But when we're sleeping, we don't really know we're asleep. We sleep on our bed, have some dreams then a couple hours later we're awake in our human body. And so, from what I experienced in my trip, you have complete awareness, awareness of nothingness. As humans we're aware that we exist as humans, but through ego-death you're aware that you exist as nothing. I wouldn't know if this lasts for eternity when we literally physically die and if we reincarnate into another living being but I would say there's nothing to fear if our memory of our current life is completely gone. Of course we don't have our current thoughts and feelings after we die, so there's no regret or wishing that we came back to life after we die lol, those thoughts don't exist anymore. Nothing is permanent. People talk about being afraid of death because they have so much to live for but what does all that matter if the illusion of life just completely disappears as if it were just a human's dream? That's like a human in his dream saying he's afraid to wake up because he has so much left to do in his dream.

Combine shadow work with bliss/satisfaction work, see Leo's latest two videos.

This isn't my first rodeo. I'm not new to transcendence, psychedelics or working with "the void". My 5MeO experience was not about "the void" for me. It was about being so severely out of it I basically blacked out. I was chasing something. What thought I was chasing was ego death and oneness with the Absolute. What I got was a drug induced spanking and my only realization was that I was chasing an escape from being human, but the whole point of being human is to be human. If doing all this spiritual work does not manifest in your life, in maya, in the human realm of duality, time, space and ego, then what is the point? If all you want is to have a perpetual bliss of divine love etc, just kill yourself, take psychedelics everyday or go meditate in a cave someplace for the rest of your life. But then suicide and chronic drug use and decades of isolation are all just attempts to escape being human. Why not just embrace it? Be fully present and mindful / conscious of each moment AS a human? Why focus so much on transcendence? What are you trying to transcend, and why? Don't get me wrong. I'm not suggesting that occasional experiences of transcendence, divine love, unity with all time and space etc. isn't worth pursuing. My realization is that these experiences are not what this life is about. For occasional use only. We need to stay grounded and integrate these experiences with the here and now of human experience. Otherwise it is spiritual narcissism and can lead to losing touch with this reality, psychosis and even suicide. Be here now people!

Hey my first real suicide attempt was actually doing shrooms I had before a few times but it wasn't all the way like shrooms. I sat in a puddle of blood in utter bliss knowing it's all over truly and I had latched onto thoughts of my mother and me when I was a child. I really learned my lesson when I got up and realized I wasn't going to die, I just sat still for a long time. I calmed down and contemplated what the actual fuuuck happened. Basically man it's like understanding you can choose to surrender or to resist, that's all it is. I know it's sooo simple to say this but it's really just having the awareness that with certain waves of feeling (although in the present moment of being in that state it can feel unbearable) it's actually mostly the resistance causing your freakout because you're still clinging onto your model of reality. Just surrender yourself into whatever happens, make a vow. Practice laying down and meditate by surrendering to everything whatever it is you're feeling no matter how horrible, just sink into it. Like stick your face into it and be with it, you'll see you can become meditative like this and have a lot more confidence knowing you won't get caught up in the trip and make it hell for yourself. But I must say I have built a lot of confidence by the traditional stuff rather than the insanely high states of consciousness psychedelics can put you in, I have spent a looooooot of time reading watching and thinking, practicing the more traditional stuff from buddhism, yogic practices etc and the ratio of traditional layed out brick by brick stuff that's all out there right now to doing psychedelics imo should be like 10:1 So I think if you're doing fuck all inbetween your trips to resolve stuff you will constantly be in that terror of not trusting yourself to let go fully.

Perhaps. The realization for me however was that this experience of being a human being, bound in time and space and illusion IS the reason we are having this experience of being human. This consensus realty we all experience may be the true hallucination, we are still having it. While it can have some value to peer beyond the veil to see maya for what it is, the purpose of being alive as a human is to experience being human, not flirt with nothingness. If you really think that a perpetual experience of Nothingness / God / Absolute truth is the goal, then suicide is likely the best option. But that is not why we are having a human experience. It is to live our lives, have experiences (both good and bad) within the relative matrix, share love and human connection and to value the beauty of this experience of being alive. There will be plenty of time for Eternity when we surrender back into the Void. But can you cook your dinner? Can you protect a hurt child? Can you make this worldly experience better for those around you? If not, then spirituality is really just narcissistic escapism. Being fully present and conscious in the ordinary is the goal of a spiritual practice IMO. Holding the hand of a dying loved one and letting the experience totally in, working on helping society and the Earth be better for everyone is the goal. Not experience transcendent states, live in bliss all the time or preach about solipsism, nihilism and spiritual narcissism.

This. But, clearly psychedelics can be abused. When I first took 5g of mushrooms I had the most profound spiritual experience of my life. I fell into a deep sense of oneness and bliss. It was absolutely amazing and beyond words. I felt the afterglow for 3 - 4 days after. I felt "enlightened". Then it wore off and a week or two later took 7g wanting to get back to that state. My 7g experience was pure physical pain. I felt poisoned and was afraid I was going to die. I felt like I needed to vomit but the cramping was so bad I couldn't. I did much lower doses months after that and every time got severe nausea and vomiting. Last time was about a year ago, and on only 2g violently spent the entire trip throwing up. I apparently developed an allergy to them. LSD is different for me. I get profound insights and euphoria most trips with little to no nausea. But after my mushroom experience, I no longer have a desire to chase that next high. I do psychedelics 2 - 3 times a year now because I see how possible it would be to abuse them. My one 5MeO experience wasn't something I would desire to repeat anytime soon. It was just too much. I felt like I died and then came back. It didn't feel spiritual at all. It was just shit. I was SO grateful to be back, the only insight I got from the experience was that THIS life is "IT" and WTF was I chasing? I am now working on integrating that experience into my day to day life. I have basically lost my desire to do psychedelics again. I may revisit it again at some point, but from my new outlook on them, they don't have a strong pull anymore. So I totally get Endangered-EGOs concern about psychedelics. They are unlikely to cause any serious physical harm, but for some people they can really screw with them psychologically. If you have any signs of psychosis sober, then stay away from them like the plague. They are not a magic fix to the problems of humanity. They are not a cheat to gain enlightenment. At the very best, they can show you what consciousness is capable of for a few hours. It can give you a target to shoot for while sober. That is it. Taking them more than a few times a year, I would consider abusing them IMO and experience.

I have spoken on this guy in the past addressing his radical claims. He has a kriya meditation on YouTube which (honestly) really isn't great so I decided to test the waters with his work further. I have recently been 'consecrated' by him into the Shambavi Mahamudra Kriya and I would like to share what I experienced. Well firstly, there was a massive difference in doing the meditation with him than doing it alone. I was consecrated online but the day it happened the meditation was 'explosive' to say the least, it genuinely left me trembling, the next few days it was much lighter though still very powerful. Anytime the dude clapped his hands, I could feel my energies going crazy. He made some radical claims (again) throughout the sessions and I hope to confirm them. He said that over a certain period of time, you will hit a layer of being called the bliss body and burst into ecstasy. With consistent practice, it will become your natural state, A perpetual state of orgasm... Further the meditation is dubbed to have tremendous healing capacities because it puts you in touch with the 'source'. Actually there are some scientific studies on this. There were innumerable other physiological, psychological and spiritual benefits mentioned by him. Six months was the time frame given. He said that you will not recognise yourself in six months. Your consciousness will be that different. I guess I will update you guys in a few months, but so far it truly has been amazing. He said if enlightenment is of interest, then it is important to seek consistently but he also said that if one doesn't make it and has been initiated or consecrated by him - they have nothing to worry about. He essentially said that he will deal with you after you die and you will not take on another body, the game is over. Again, I have yet to confirm these and am practicing consistently to do so. I mention this here because I am curious to hear if anyone else has had an experience with him and also what you guys think of him? Also, has anyone else who has been consecrated with this particular kriya (long before I have), started to experience any of these more profound benefits?

Note: I originally posted this on Curt Jaimungal’s r/TheoriesOfEverything subreddit, but since it has relevance to this sub as well, I’ll cross-post it here too. In a recent “Theories of Everything” youtube episode, that dealth with the subject of UFOs and UAPs (might have been the one with Luis Elizondo), Curt Jaimungal expressed his frustration in trying to imagine what a higher-dimensional being might even be like. This prompted me to give my own perspective. I am assuming that Curt has ancestors from the Indian Subcontinent and is therefore familiar with the beings known as the Devas. Deva means shining one and is used to denote the deities and gods of the major indigenous religions of India, such as Hinduism, Buddhism and Jainism. We usually translate Devas as Gods, but that is somewhat misleading as Devas were not originally believed to have the attributes of what we in the West conceive of as a being that is omnipotent and omniscient, or even immortal, for that matter. Devas are extremely long-lived, sometimes with life-spans nearly as long as the universe itself. They are believed to be beings of light and are mostly distinguished by their awesome effulgence and radiance. Although some are believed to reside on other planets, their place of abode is usually signified as existing on a higher plane of existence. These higher planes of existence, I believe, are substantially, realms that exist in more dimensions than ours does. Michio Kaku actually writes about this in his books, as an interesting side-note on String Theory. He posits, theoretically, what the characteristics of a higher-dimensional being might be. These include abilities such as time travel, seeing past, present and future, the ability to enter lower-dimensional (that is our) reality at will and exit it at any given point, both in time and space, the ability to pass through solid objects without resistance, etc… Notice, how his descriptions overlap substantially with the abilities ascribed to both supernatural beings and UFOs. I believe this is where the two phenomena do meet and an intersection between the two becomes too obvious to ignore. During my own spiritual practice, I have encountered such beings, who, to my satisfaction, were entirely real, though I realise of course that such personal accounts would not cut it in the field of empirical science. Still, if you will indulge me for a minute and put your scepticism aside, I believe some of my experiences with higher-dimensional beings may be instructive in understanding the nature of reality, the existence of high-strangeness events surrounding UFOs and many other mysteries that we are constantly baffled by. My own very first encounter was with a Goddess of the Sumerian pantheon, known as Inana, who later morphed into many different deities in different cultures as her cult spread east and west, becoming, among others, Durga, Astarte and Aphrodite. I encountered her as I was undergoing a spiritual process known as Kundalini Awakening (the famous Quantum Physicist Carl Friedrich Von Weizsacker, wrote about this in his foreword to Gopi Krishna’s very first book, where he analysed the Kundalini mechanism’s philosophical and scientific significance), which was causing a great deal of difficulty in my life. I connected to this ancient deity through artefacts connected to her worship exhibited at the British Museum in London. I won’t go into the details of our encounter here, except to note that it was very similar to what others, who have also gone through a similar spiritual experience have reported over the millennia, usually in connection with tantric deities, belonging to the Hindu and Buddhist pantheons. The interesting point here is what kind of insights my encounters can give us into the nature of higher-dimensional existence. I would draw your attention to the Buddhist classification of planes of existence, or lokas, as they are called in Sanskrit, a good summary can be found here: The Thirty-one Planes of Existence (accesstoinsight.org) Subsequent to my visitation by Inana, I was given a brief insight into two of the highest planes on the list: (29) Infinite Consciousness (viññanañcayatanupaga deva) (28) Infinite Space (akasanañcayatanupaga deva) Where, it is said, that: “ The inhabitants of these realms are possessed entirely of mind. Having no physical body, they are unable to hear Dhamma teachings.” My experience on the plane of infinite consciousness, was that of unending bliss and joy, omniscience, boundlessness and a complete lack of dimensionality. This part is very hard to explain, but I experienced a complete lack of dimensions, as well as an infinite number of dimensions at the same time. There was no space and time and yet, they were also infinite. Perhaps I experienced the two highest planes in this fashion, which is hard to establish without other first-hand accounts to compare my experience to, but the progressions described in Buddhist teachings is how I experienced them. The two highest planes are described as thus: (31) Neither-perception-nor-non-perception (nevasaññanasaññayatanupaga deva) (30) Nothingness (akiñcaññayatanupaga deva) The other experience I had was that of universality, it felt like I was the whole universe in myself and there was nothing beyond me. This also gave me the experience of omniscience, in that when I was in this universal state, however briefly (significantly less than an hour), I understood everything. All the questions I ever had about the universe, existence, the meaning of life, etc… were instantly answered and all the knowledge of the universe was available to me in a manner that would be utterly impossible to experience with the limitations of a physical body. Another noteworthy feature of this expansive experience was that of light. It was everywhere, overwhelming, indescribably joyous and blissful, all-pervading, intelligent and contained incredible amounts of knowledge and wisdom. I myself became that light for a brief period. When I expanded into this infinite state, my body and with it, the physical world was left entirely behind. Subsequently, I found that some NDE experiencers describe a similar experience after they die briefly and then return. When I returned to my body, I found it to be small and constricted and I could only recall a very small fraction of the knowledge I possessed in my universal state. The details above are all important, because they serve as a framework, to go down on the list of Worlds, which according to Buddhist teaching are grouped into four categories. I discussed some of the characteristics of the Immaterial World (arupa-loka) above, which contains four planes of existence. The second category is the Fine Material World (rupa-loka), which has 16 planes of existence. This is the world where higher-order Devas reside, such as the one that has visited me. They are characterised using various epithets, with radiance, effulgence, glory and beauty being their primary characteristics. From my own personal experience, the Devas of this realm have incredible splendour and radiance. Their bodies are made of an unknown state of matter, which I and other observers have described as liquid light. They can manifest denser, humanoid bodies, but in their primary state, they are light beings. The light they are made of does not consist of the usual photons observable to us in our physical realm, including with scientific instruments. The light they are made of is coherent, like that of a laser beam, but also coagulant, in that their bodies settle into a rough shape, that is very difficult to discern because of the incredible radiance of their bodies. The radiation coming off them, isn’t just bright, but also hot. When they are very close to you it feels like another sun radiating right next to you. They do have the ability to touch, which, startlingly, feels very much like a human touch and one can easily discern, the gender, general disposition and intentions of the higher-dimensional light being that thus approaches. When a Deva enters our reality, we perceive it as them coming from above, but this is in the sense of them descending into a lower realm from their higher plane of existence. Still, the distinct perception of descent and then ascent when they leave is unmistakable. There is also a sound, which I can only describe as that of radiance and splendour. I imagine that the sun would give off a very similar sound if we could listen to it from close by. Higher-dimensional light beings communicate telepathically, using pure thought, though others I know who have encountered them report hearing them speak. I imagine, that these friends of mine have received thought transmissions as well and it is their own brain that turns these into a sound pattern they can recognise. Since these beings have no physical bodies (although myths describe their ability to manifest one temporarily), they cannot speak in the sense that we can, by generating soundwaves, so their thoughts have to be transmitted as pure thought, which I presume is transmitted by the light they emanate. Some other noteworthy features of these light-beings include: - They float, propelled by the energy they are made up of - When they appear, they change the nature of spacetime around them. One gets the distinct impression, that time doesn’t move to the same rhythm when they are around, or might even be non-existent. There is a distinct impression, that when they descend into physical reality and one shares a space with them, some sort of space-time bubble or distortion is created, in which the usual passage of time and perhaps the laws of the physical universe change. - They have healing powers, can touch someone and cause energetic changes in the body, including sensations of vibration, heat, out-of-body experiences and a perception of time dilation. I can personally attest to the effectiveness of their healing abilities as can a few other people who have been visited by them. - The overwhelming feeling they radiate is that of love, compassion and wisdom. They send information through their radiance which means an encounter with them is always calming, soothing and uplifting Having discussed the characteristics of the beings that inhabit the second world, Rupa-Loka, it is time to look at the third world, known as The Sensuous World or Kama-Loka. The inhabitants of these worlds are lower-order Devas and they would be closer to the beings usually described by UFO/UAP witnesses or experiencers. Since these beings exist in planes close to our own (we are believed to live on the lowest of the 7 planes of the Kama-Loka) they are the most likely to visit us. It is instructive to read descriptions of the 3 planes directly above our own, meaning beings located there are almost as physical as we are, but are perhaps in a spectrum of matter that doesn’t normally interact with our own, possibly falling within the definition of “Dark” matter and energy, or alternatively, existing in a parallel reality very close in its base vibration (in the sense of how string theory would describe different, parallel realities as vibrating to slightly different frequencies) to our own, just divergent enough, that we cannot perceive or interact with it under normal circumstances. According to Buddhism, the below devas are our closest neighbours: “ (8) Yama devas (yama deva) These devas live in the air, free of all difficulties. (7) The Thirty-three Gods (tavatimsa deva) Sakka, a devotee of the Buddha, presides over this realm. Many devas dwelling here live in mansions in the air. (6) Devas of the Four Great Kings (catumaharajika deva) Home of the gandhabbas, the celestial musicians, and the yakkhas, tree spirits of varying degrees of ethical purity. The latter are analogous to the goblins, trolls, and fairies of Western fairy tales. “ Notice, that the above classification would provide a plausible explanation as to the nature of many “high strangeness” events and even cryptozoological phenomena routinely observed in the vicinity of UFOs. Interestingly, Yama and Tavatimsa Devas are described as having a very close affiliation with the air and flying, a fact widely depicted in Buddhist and Hindu art. So, in summary, Eastern Philosophies actually provide a plausible framework, through which we can view the world of religion, UFOs and High Strangeness, “spooky” occurrences and events. To my mind at least, it is beyond reasonable doubt that many of the mythological beings described by the ancients are of this category, that is they come from higher planes of existence and their lower orders are responsible for UFO and High Strangeness phenomena, whereas their higher orders form the basis of religious experience and myth.

Maybe join a yoga ashram. Then you can bliss out doing yoga and don’t even have to think about enlightenment.

I thought I'd broach the subject of having a love life. When it comes down to it I feel very conflicted. It's something I think about consistently almost like a reflex. But even now I'm struggling to gather my thoughts coherently. Ok, time for Mr Left Brain, a list of points: I get horny I want regular sex with women I don't want to have to compromise what I can and can't do by being in a relationship I'm an all or nothing type of guy, I can't have a part-time relationship, it would drive me crazy I do want intimacy, sharing and joy and some adventure from a relationship I have an acute sense of beauty and especially for faces (see below), it's important to me I want to flirt and attract attention, even if not to get off I don't have opportunity/make opportunity to put myself in situations where I talk to women All my social circle are around my age or older (i.e. married with kids, i.e. no source of new people to meet and no partying) I'm prepared to go out by myself, but I'm always very conscious of my age I do like the idea of having a family and all that, so that limits the age range I can go for I'm 50/50 about taking on someone my age with kids, there will be hurdles to overcome A 50 year-old woman can be attractive no doubt, but it gets much rarer I'm not into PUA tactics, it just sucks, although I will approach if the situation allows it: nightclub, possibly pub but unlikely Online dating is low odds, I mean I do scan on occasion, but the response rate is nearly non-existent There have been one or two work colleagues I have found attractive and got on with, but that's just luck of the draw I could do courses or activities that would allow me to meet women, but from experience you get stuck with a particular cohort, and if no-one fits that's it, no luck. And I would need to do something I'm interested in I'm at my most relaxed, confident and self-assured I have been in my life, and I feel frustrated that I'm not in a position to explore that more with women I don't want to go out with bimbo even if she was a supermodel, intelligence is important to me I know for a certain fact that if I'm looking for some sort of good fit in a partner, it's a numbers game, I need to meet a fair amount of women to meet one that fits my standards To a degree my standards are high, because I have a lot to offer, I'm high value in a lot of ways Energy is important to me, I don't want a woman that just wants to stay in all day on her laptop or painting her nails, there's a strong inverse correlation between age and energy I would happily go out with women in a wide age range, but I'm acutely aware of being judged if the woman was noticeably younger than me, whilst personally IDGAF, I'm also not into making my life harder for no reason at all: she has to be worth the aggravation! I'm sure there's a lot more going on, but that's the stuff that immediately surfaces. In terms of the face thing, I've taken various tests and I'm a super-recogniser or at least I'm high up there. I have both an extremely good memory for faces, and attention for facial characteristics: https://theconversation.com/facial-recognition-research-reveals-new-abilities-of-super-recognisers-128414 I like a good body (especially good skin) in a woman, but the face is most important to me. I would probably have a bias against stick thin, but it's not out. I'm not bothered by height, but I know for a certain fact that women are. But I'm a shorter guy at 5'7", so probably it tops out at 6' in a woman (without heels) for me. I'd probably feel odd going out with someone under 5', but I have done 4'11"! I feel it's a bit childish to say I have a type, there's so many different characteristics that might attract me in a woman physically let alone personality. I would genuinely say I'm race/ethnicity agnostic. But that's not to say I don't have biases in what attracts me, I do, blue eyes for example, or jet-black hair or blonde. But it's the entire package so to speak, not just individual characteristics I go for. I don't think I have any sort of race fetish, but I've never really given it much thought. The way I see it, is even in spite of everything else, I will have to look at this person day in and day out, she has to be interesting to me visually, I'm a very visually-led guy. My ex always had a particular pair of jeans she looked good in, and that attraction never wore off. And vice-versa, if something were to bother me about appearance, there'd be no shaking it off. It's a visual shallowness I guess, but not something I have control over. Ok. So if hypothetically I had a stream of "encounters" with women that fit my vague criteria at least visually say, but no real relationship, would that satisfy me? I think it would do a lot to satiate that horniness I regularly feel, and give me some sort of ego boost too. I would probably keep things mostly private from friends etc. I'm not sure how maintainable that is longer term, and knowing me I'd probably fall in love with most of them. So being put through the emotional ringer regularly is not something I relish. I'm not sure I've got the right mindset for a numbers approach to it. But not getting into relationships would leave me free to be myself and not compromise. I'm definitely not into long distance relationships. I mean, yes it can start that way, but one or the other would have to move. Either I'm in a relationship or I'm not, I don't want some vague something in-between or meeting via Zoom now and then, that would suck big time. I suppose the only other thing, was that if a relationship were to become serious and longer term, that she is amenable to having a family (my ex wasn't and that caused problems). And for god's sakes no dogs or horses. I get the companionship thing, but it's just not me. I actually got a message from a dating app from a 25 year old recently. She was definitely attractive facially, and was a Buddhist, so maybe? I found myself being reluctant to message back, it's a big age gap, but I did, however she didn't follow through. I think 25 is pretty young for me, but it's a hard lower limit. I'd probably be more comfortable with 30 and upwards to 38. After all, it's only a number. But I would feel kind of odd being introduced to parents younger than me!! That's it, no real resolution, or much coherence about what direction to head in. Fuck it. I'll just carry on as I am for the moment. Singledom bliss.

Thanks for replying mate. In the aftermath, I thought so too, that that is it. I have decided to prolong my meditation sessions and I will wait for this to come again. It would be really easier for me to deal with this fear while sober. But what really kinda bothers me are those voices man. I mean, was this Schizophrenia ? Am I sick ? It didnt feel like monkey mind or the usual voice i my head it was different. And another thing that I felt was that someone was watching me. Right in that moment when I realized that I am really really close and that this was it, it was as if my whole room, my experience was entered my a presence, as if that moment that I was having was kinda important or interesting, and someone or something tuned in like when we turn on a tv channel to watch something. I had this exact feeling once before, on my first lsd trip I had an incredible cathartic emotional release from past trauma and after that a state of total bliss and like anything was possible, I was walking around my room crying of joy realizing that literally anything I set my mind to, success money travelling is instantly possible. There I also felt something tuning in to this moment I was having. Am I imagining this ?

@Blackhawk Hi, I've suggested in other threads that you do some specialised therapy which may help in the non-spiritual areas of life, but you seem to be resistant to establishing any regular practice, whether spiritual or therapeutic. You say things like this: "1. I don't have the energy for that. 2. I don't have the time for that. 3. I hate doing it. 4. I don't have the discipline for it. 5. I don't want to waste so much effort into something which might not even be true." The areas of enlightenment and therapy are basically experiential so you gotta put in some work and effort to achieve any sort of change in your consciousness. Many spiritual people spend years practicing without achieving a full enlightenment, but what keeps them going is lower level experiences like peacefulness, bliss, insights, nondual / mystical glimpses etc. You've been into this stuff for some time now. What practices have you tried, and have you had any limited success so far?

You want enlightenment, how come? Oh my God, because it will feel amazing, the very source of bliss, inspiration, creativity, the very Author of all the climaxes and resolutions of every dramatic story and every seemingly impossible math problem ever dreamed up. Satisfaction itself. Beyond the question and the answer. The more I push it away, the more impossible it seems the more DELICIOUS the answer when it comes to me. I cannot fuck this up. I love knowing I cannot fuck this up. There is no "I" to fuck this up. Sigh..... Pure. Fucking. Delight.

Precisely. It is Infinite Bliss which is synonymous with Infinity. Total lack of meaning is Infinite Love.

Not much to report today. Just haphazard rhetorical type questions. Is it ok to have nothing going on? Have you ever been with people and felt the suffocating vacuum of having nothing to say, even if it's only momentary? What if you've been with your partner for years and in fact the norm is to say nothing to each for long periods? Should every moment be filled with activity? What about boredom, how does that figure in having nothing going on? Isn't boredom a fate worse than being a loser? Winners always have something going on. Being bored is just admitting to being a loser (?). How is it possible to life live and be bored? Aren't they complementary opposites? What if you give up doing anything? Just recontextualise activity as nothing. Isn't that bliss? Isn't that just admitting death in through the front door? Isn't death a fate worse than knowing you're a loser? Can you attract any/thing/body by doing nothing at all? Can anything get done by doing nothing at all? Doesn't the world revolve anyway? Can't you just recontextualise doing nothing as constant activity anyway? Isn't doing/doing nothing just a duality to be squashed like a bug? Only to be left with an uneasy sense of WTF?

Sat chit ananda. Existence conciousness bliss. There is a reason bliss is there. Sometimes it is not always the right thing to do and listen to someone who has the attitude of sensation=suffering. Life is bliss if one cultivates it and enjoy existence as it is supposed to be. There is a reason the saying goes that GOD is LOVE. Existence is love. Buddhism nowadays IMO, is a bunch of nihilism. The body and cells and everything around you vibrates and sings to the bliss of existence if you just listen and observe it.

All thoughts are love. But what fun would it be if you were directly conscious of that? You might roll around in bliss for eternity but then You would have to give eternity meaning and create differences for the purposes of differences. Otherwise you would not be able to contrast bliss from hell.

I think you are misunderstanding the Buddhist notion of suffering. What it basically means is that chasing material conditions and positive states is dissatisfying because they never last. This does not mean you cannot meditate on the feeling of satisfaction itself. In fact, doing so is how you escape suffering. Bliss and joy can be reached this way. Now, you can counter by saying that that bliss won't be permanent. Of course it won't. But I never said to get attached to permanent bliss. And it is still far better than what most people are doing, which is chasing dopamine hits. Think of it this way: in every moment you only have one of two options: you can either be satisified or dissatisfied. Which will you be?

Spirituality can be defined in many ways, some more useful than others depending on the context. I like this definition: Discovering what’s real and being it. End of story. This solves no “problems”, instead it “kills” the one who “has” the problems, making them almost completely obsolete and therefor infinitely easier to deal with. Live authentically, accept all that is around you as part of oneness happening, act accordingly - which may mean that you do things that don’t fit any typical “spiritual” paradigm. It sounds like your transcendent trips gave you the impression that spirituality would help you transcend or escape your life situation. What spirituality does is causes the realization that it isn’t your life situation because there is no you (just Godness/Awareness watching the movie of the body you think is you) and that you don’t need to escape it because it doesn’t effect Godness/Awareness/You in anyway. You’re in a dream right now and you may wake up in it and go “Oh! This doesn’t matter! (Thought it still counts!)” or the body will die and Godness/Awareness/You will have a similar experience that “you” as the body does every morning when you wake up from dreams and are completely untouched by the to the point that you don’t even really try to remember them. Zen also sums it up well: Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. This makes enlightenment seem pointless, where’s the infinite bliss, the adoration of other seekers, and the world peace that you are about to now be able to create? Turns out once you finish the journey, there’s no need for any of that. You are found in a peacefulness that is so completely unconditional that it doesn’t matter if you live with Hyenas or in any other situation (not that you won’t continue to follow your biological imperatives to some degree and seek to live skillfully). Hell, you’ll very likely see them such that you will have great love and compassion for them.

I pray it is my friend. This is bliss

Internal voice is just a thought. But competition of the internal voice is the problem, hiding the underlying bliss. For instance, when I was an active addict nearing early recovery, I would search my drawers for pills that I'd forgotten about or dropped (I had tons of opioid medication just laying around and I threw it all away when I quit, but there was always a bit more left over that had gotten lost -- I had tons and tons of painkillers in my drawers at one point lol). Anyway, all the while, I was literally simultaneously looking for the pill (to crush it and snort it through a straw), WHILE seriously hoping to NOT find it. If I found it (happened several times), the feeling was "fuck; dammit," and if I did NOT find it (also actually happened several times), the resulting feeling was THANK GOD. That's the state of addiction, but it relates to all manifestations of competing desires -- basically the state of "not being at peace." Addiction as described above is simply a rather intense manifestation of it -- most people have it in other ways... uncertainty; confusion; not trusting their own power; etc. Really it manifests all the time to some degree, IF you think you're a separate individual. This competition of desires can be stilled with intensive meditation, and when they stop, an enormous amount of energy is released -- this is what "Kundalini awakening" is -- overwhelming exhilaration that makes you want to shake people and say "HAVE YOU EVER FUCKING TRIED MEDITATION? IT'S INCREDIBLE!" etc... (of course that's just a stage; almost a bit manic, but very lucid).

Combining shadow work with bliss work helps a lot. We can get stuck in focusing on feeling our pain. It really helps to give the childhood versions of us the infinite satisfaction they always wanted. Lets say I experienced a huge loss as a child. This is going to sound like woohoo, but the more I play with the imagination of having had a perfect childhood where that loss did not happen and feeling what that feels like, the more I will notice positive shifts in my identity in the present. The reason this works so well is because infinite love is the case anyway and you are the ultimate creator of your life. This technique can speed up the healing process tremendously.

Once you penetrate the illusion, you discover the true parinibbanic bliss which comes from fucking the illusion with itself by continuously destroying itself in evermore intricate and tantalizing ways. The best part is the fucking does itself in a completely intuitive and human way in which you discover that the greatest illusion was that anything could be more “enlightened” than you always were. Now you just see the connections of how this eternal death functions.

Feel what exactly? Something other than what you are feeling right now? You are chasing a paper tiger. What is real is this moment. This is it. The only difference between someone enlightened and the rest of us is they see clearly that this moment is "It" and relate to it with the reverence and bliss of seeing God. Nothing more. It may be that you want to have a profound, mystical experience or unity with all things. OK. Easy. Drop 200ug of good LSD in a safe and comfortable setting. Enjoy. 12 hours later you will be back to your normal consciousness. Unless you can take that experience and turn it into something you can experience in this moment completely sober it is no different than going to watch a good movie. It can be exciting and entertaining, but once the titles are rolling down the screen, the lights come on and you are back to your life. Now what?