Gianna

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About Gianna

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  • Birthday 11/22/1996

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    Capistrano Beach
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  1. Thanks for the resource ricky!
  2. Being liberated from the fear of consequences.
  3. @RickyFitts So true! I love that
  4. If you can stay focused on LP while dating then do it. Why not. They can be a good balance for each other. Like sometimes when you’re dating you can’t stop thinking about the person and having a life purpose to turn to is nice. It gives you comfort in something else; makes you feel less needy/dependent and more focused. Also, being connected authentically to another can make you more connected authentically to yourself which can only help your LP. In other words, they can positively influence on another. I don’t believe they will take away from one another. I think that’s limited not expansive thinking. Follow your desires. Insight always follows.:)
  5. Or maybe you’re avoiding the truth on why you don’t want to do them. Why you really and actually are resisting them. Once you connect with the little voice inside that can speak to this, then you will be able to figure out what you can do to make those tasks less miserable and more interesting/compelling.
  6. Every day. I disconnected myself from it so I don’t feel self-hate around it. But the futility kind of numbs the self-hate anyway.
  7. Hm, all of the scenarios seem connected to me except the one with the dog. The one with your dog seems separate to me, like it came from an inclination to feel/express your own power. This could come as a result of feeling powerless or disempowered or being oppressed or suppressed. Maybe you experienced this during that time of your life. Do you disempower yourself often? Through moral judgment or expectation or righteousness? Do you suppress yourself or inhibit yourself? The other scenarios you said were driven by curiosity and fascination (whereas the dog one came from anger). With these other scenarios, where are you relating to the instances you binge/fascinate over? Are you living vicariously through them? If so, what does vicariously living through the experience give you? You say satisfaction, but what kind of satisfaction? Is it the sense of disconnection that is satisfying you?
  8. What is your relationship with Disappointment? Did you have any major disappointments around the time you started to get more apathetic? Your apathy might be a subconscious strategy to avoid disappointment, “If I never care, I can never be disappointed.” Also, although apathy can come with a lot of numbness (which may be the same as what you’re calling emotional flatness) we can recognize that numbness and apathy are still emotions in and of themself. So if you feel the apathy as an emotion more and more— deeply and more deeply— you can explore around the feeling to feel more and trigger yourself to invite more feeling. This will help especially if your body is using the apathy to protect yourself against feeling (like disappointment) because it is signaling to it that it is okay/invited.
  9. Realizing that it was an unconscious strategy to stay safe socially.
  10. What does your mind think it’s getting out of the paranoia? Does it think that it can prevent whatever worst scenario it is imagining and then does it start to plan around it? Or does it believe that it is helpless to the scenario and just panics? It sounds like the latter by reading your description. But I’ve asked myself these questions relative to my issue with paranoia to help myself distinguish between what is worrying, anxiety, and straight paranoia. It’s good to gain awareness over what the mind is actually doing and what it is trying to get so we can provide ourself (our mind) with that thing in a way other than paranoia— so we can take proactive action for ourself. This is the self-loving thing we can do, “without love there is only pain.” Essentially our mind is agitating itself unconsciously and needs both our awareness and love desperately. What it probably is/what your mind probably needs is safety and security. How can you give your mind a sense of security? We as paranoids do not know how to provide a sense of safety and security to ourselves. Which means we were never taught it. So we have to figure out how to nurture our mind. How can you make your mind feel safe? This is an essential need of the mind and without it this is what happens. Some things that helped me: 1. My mind is agitated and is stuck in a cycle of agitating itself via paranoia. So when it is really severe it helps to feed it convincing thoughts of the opposite scenario of the paranoia— thoughts that actually convince me and that I can actually believe in, not thoughts that my mind think are bullshit. 2. Realizing that the pain that comes with caring about what people think reflects the degree to which we value Connection. It could also reflect the degree to which we need connection. Reframing in this way helps to stop self-hating on caring about what people think and to consciously recognize the motivation behind it (this helps it feel more like a choice than a tendency). 3. I would catch your ‘inner critic’ in the moment that it is criticizing you to get awareness and healing around it. Your inner critic is probably feeding the paranoia as well. Hope this helps <3
  11. @Loba Oh that’s great ☺️
  12. Ask whatever you are genuinely curious about or dying to know My go to is always asking why. Why are we here? Why are there others? Today I asked, why do we need self-reflection? My brother likes asking how. How is this happening? But I would start with your genuine desire to know whatever you want to know.
  13. I suggest you start by following what resonates with you. This can be your compass for what direction to go in. I would also suggest you let go of any attachment to logical reasoning and expectations. You may have a confusing path for a more complex journeying through your life. If you want to know a lot of thing you do a lot of things. Are your addictions coming from an avoidance of pain or boredom? People want kicks of stimulus (and have addiction in general) in their life when they are emotionally detach (which would lead to a lack of direction) or when they have been neglected or abuse. If you sit with your discomfort and understand where it’s coming from you can know where to go. Meeting your needs will be the new form of direction, while still following what resonates.