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I was wondering whether anyone else had experienced Kundalini as a Goddess. During the initial stages of my awakening, during 2011-2012, I experienced Kundalini as a serpentine energy, as descibed by most people and classical works on the subject. During the latter stages, the sensation became physical and whenever Kundalini was active inside me, I experienced a black serpent wriggling around in my body, along the spine, gradually rising ever further upwards and bumping its head against energetic blocks in my body in a rhythmic fashion. When the serpent got stuck, just above the heart chakra and couldn’t push its head through the knot found there, I experienced intense chronic chest pain, heart palpitations, neurological symptoms, such as memory loss and slowness of movement. I then prayed for divine intervention and the Goddess appeared to me in person, performed shaktipat on me, then united with me energetically and allowed me to experience enlightenment, a breakthrough at the final knot at the top back part of the head (I believe this is called Brahmarendra, the cavity of God), which broke with an audible cracking noise. Then, liquid light came roaring in, I expanded in all directions in an ecstatic bliss and became boundless and all-knowing, at least for a short while. In that state, I felt universal and understood everything about reality, universe, life, or whatever else you can think of. When i eventually returned to my body, I only retained a tiny portion of the knowledge I had access to in the universal state. I also felt constrained and suffocated by my own body, but I gradually returned to normal consciousness. The Goddess aspect of Kundalini is rarely emphasised, or if so, usually only in abstract terms, but I wonder how many people have been visited by her as a living Goddess and how common this is? I found a reference in the book of essays, Kundalini Rising, by Lawrence Edwards, whose experience closely mirrors my own. I’m not sure how much I can quote from his work, before triggering the copyright bots, so I’ll try to quote only the most succinct sections, that are most relevant to this point. Chapter: Kundalini Her Symbols of Transformation and Freedom LAWRENCE EDWARDS, PHD THE GIFTS OF MAHA KALI “ Once a renowned author who had written about Kundalini came to meet my guru, Swami Muktananda. Baba, as my guru was known, was revered for his exalted visions of the Kun- dalini and his rare ability to give shaktipat. The author, too, had visions of Kundalini, but to him she appeared quite unimpressive, looking like an ordinary woman, not like a God- dess at all. As he waited outside the room where Baba was receiving visitors, he was astonished to have a vision of the Goddess Kundalini herself entering the room where Baba was—only this time she appeared in her most regal and resplendent form, magnif- icent and awe inspiring … Baba, he asked why it was that she appeared so ordinary to him, while for Baba she came as the Goddess of the Universe. Baba replied simply, “Because I worship her.” … The intense practices I began doing culminated in a series of meditation experiences in Baba’s ashram meditation hall during a weekend retreat in 1982. Various forms of the Goddess began appearing fully and spontaneously in meditation, as real as any person standing in front of me. I worshipped each in turn, trembling and awestruck as I did and only able to do so because of the strength the Shakti gave me in the moment to withstand Her Divine presence. Goddess after Goddess appeared until finally Maha Kali was present there before me. I prayed with all my heart to be able to stay conscious. Her skin was blacker than black, like deep black velvet in a darkened room. Yet in some miraculous way Her form was radiant, revealing Her own richly magnificent blackness. A thought ap- peared in my mind: “My God, this is Kali! She’s the Great Mother, Goddess of the Uni- verse, creator and destroyer of all that is!” But She was in the most exquisite, beautiful, loving form, not the fearsome presence She is usually depicted as having. This was Her hidden form. I did the only thing I knew to do: I did puja to Her, an ancient Indian form of worship, while shaking with a mixture of fear, awe, and overwhelming love. Tears flowed down my cheeks. Then the Goddess came forward and embraced me, wrapping Herself around me. Everything slowed down. I could feel myself gradually merging into Her, and I could hear Her laughing the wildest, most ecstatic laugh! We disappeared from the ordinary world. My awareness shifted, and I could see the whole solar system with all its planets, and then stars and galaxies being withdrawn into Her. The entire universe was merging into Her, and all the while it was merging, the infinitude of the cosmos rever- berated with Her ecstatic laughter. Finally, I disappeared into Her as I dissolved into infi- nite Light and Love, and then into a nothingness beyond even that, beyond the mind, be- yond any duality of experience. There simply was no “me” left; I was gone, gone, gone be- yond. … The experience ended; feeling profoundly grateful, I bowed to my inner guru, my Goddess Kundalini. This had all unfolded as a re- sult of shaktipat from my Siddha master, Muktananda Baba, years earlier, and my prayer to know the highest form of worship of Kundalini. Complete worship merges you with the one you worship. Through worship and prayer, the Goddess reveals the mysteries of Her creation to Her creature: the seeker—you! … No words can describe how overwhelmed and truly awestruck I was by the appearance of the Goddesses classically depicted in the chakras, followed by Maha Kali Herself. These were the Goddesses that Kundalini manifests, as well as Her primal form as Maha Shakti, the great power, that takes the form of Maha Kali, the Black Goddess. It is this highest power that dissolves the universe as She merges into the sahasrara, creating it once again as She descends from that transcendent realm. … Just as the aspects of Divine Consciousness were being presented to my awareness sym- bolically in the forms of the Goddesses, in the same way the union with those Divine forms was symbolized by sexual union. Readers familiar with the experiences of mystics of many spiritual traditions will recognize that this is a common way for union with the Di- vine to express itself. Very often the Tantric traditions, both yogic and Buddhist, that deal with the Divine Feminine depict union in this way. Carnal symbolism and the experience of that form of symbolic merger in meditation are often confusing for people, especially Westerners, who take it literally. From: Kundalini Rising: Exploring the Energy of Awakening. Sounds True Inc. Short Excerpts from pages 294-298 “ So, this is really interesting to me, as it is so close to my own experience of Union with the Goddess and her many visits to me. Maybe it is a bit esoteric (on in other words, Tantric), but I would really like to hear from others who may have experienced this.

How sure are you of this "Insights"? Especially "Other people" and "Death". Please be honest. If you say 100% , I expect you to no Lt be scared at all of death and be absolutely loving to other people since they are you and you will live their lives as God/Nothingness, right ? And if you don't say 100%, then we are just playing the never ending game, some mystical states here and there, and then some interpretations mixed with non dual theory and Leo's teaching, shake it, apply some belief intention and we are good to go to feel like we have sorted it out, but of course we keep behaving like scared little devils because deep inside us there is still doubts and we are NOT REALLY sure. So, please, give it a rate. Have the balls of saying "100%" ?

@justfortoday You are much more advanced than I am but I see a clear blind spot. It is called the full circle. This is was very common in ancient Egypt and it was the last secret revealed. When one arrived to a super conciousness state by mastering all paths (wisdom, devotion, Mind, non-dual...) one arrived to a see through the ilusion and understand the core of all existance, which then formed everything else. Therefore, the master asked to reconstruct from this core existance layer by layer again his ego reality, for it is also real in the sense that an ilusion is real and also must be understood. Understanding how from the God-Head of his being all the transformation and alchimical processes happened till one finds himself in this existance where, even though it's pretty clear it's nothing, it's also pretty clear there is more. This is at least the main blind spot I see in all masters, where the are enlightened about enlightenment but not about non-enlightenment (Unless they are God-Realized where then this is all non-sense). For the one that is truly interested in Truth, it is not only enough by going to the source and understanding it but by also how the whole game of existance is played. Because this is not just random nothingness, this is armonious beyond our understanding. For it is deconstructed to know the most juicy insights, then it must be constructed to engage in the divine game of existance. For this is a great cosmic play. Knowing that the dream is a dream is also a dream, that insight must be had, that insight must also be left, as well as all those that have been stated here. If u wanna Truly be liberated.

1. — It's neither solipsism or materialism, all possibilities exist super-positioned (like quantum mechanics states), you are simply forking your way through the game as you play it. Solipsism is just some concept you are imagining right now, it carries some truth, but the truth is WAY more radical than solipsism. 2. I have personally seen through the illusion, and without much use of psychedelics. Only used marijuana on a weekly basis and some shrooms once or twice. But once you see the illusion and are able to "see" consciousness and observe it, there is no unseeing that. 3. Sorry to break it to ya, but it's true : ) You are all that exists right now. It does not mean other POVs aren't real, it just means you haven't lived their lives yet. That's right, you will live every single life of every thing you have ever encountered in your life. Because you are them, and this is a VR experience, and you are the single player. 4. Magic as limitless power to modify reality to its will. Consciousness/nothingness is magic itself. You are divine.

@kinesin I just asked the same thing in a shinzen young forum, I was told that this could be the 4th jhana (equanimity). And apparently this purification of the rotten feeling is part of the purgatory in abrahamic religion. The first time i felt that was the fear of nothingness/dark night of the soul. This disgusting energy in my body. Yes you're right, now that I've been through it, I guess that I don't have to fear it anymore. I always backed off before. Now unfortunately I didn't have any change in perception or enlightenment, but I might have digested a part of my shadow. But damn why does that feel so bad. It's not an emotion or a bodily sensation, I honestly can only describe it as a rotten burning sensation.

@Hulia Isn’t everything transient though? Eventually, even you life will end. Eventually (supposedly) the universe will undergo thermal heat-death or something. I agree with you though that happiness isn’t really what people want, but I have no idea of what a better metric would be. Integration? Peace? Love? Nothingness? Anything you want bc everything is equal? Anything at all? I have no idea.

The major question of philosophy is what is existence and reality itself? Where did it come from and why does it exist at all? Many people believe this is a great mystery but I will argue that there is nothing mysterious or grandiose about it - in fact I will argue that existence is both mundane and comically simple. There are many theories of existence including multiverses, higher dimensions, string theory, quantum gravity, gods, conscioussness, quantum fluctuations, mathematical universe theory, simulation theory and on and on. While these are important things to research and ponder I will argue that none of them can be the ultimate truth. Even if these can be proven true they are not the ultimate answer to existence. They logically cannot be as they are just more 'things' which creates the question of where did they come from and so on leading to an infinite regression and more endless searching. This means that logically existence cannot have a reason or purpose for existing because this would lead to the question of why which leads back to infinite regress. Because there is no reason or purpose for anything that means that existence as a whole is completely free and unbounded. There are no meta laws or constraints on existence. There are 'laws' of physics but there are no laws of the laws. The laws of physics themselves have no reason to exist - they came from nowhere. This means that the fundamental truth of existence is pure potentiality itself - which is essentially nothingness. Nothingness is the superposition of infinite potentialities from which all purposeless manifestations of existence arise from for no reason. Our universe, the laws of physics, consciousness, qualia, logic, reason etc and anything else existing is a product of this pure potentiality. Pure potentiality is literaly infinite and has the potential to create anything including absurd things like a universe that was just a bunch of floating chairs but this does not mean it will necessary do so it just has the ability to do so in the same way it created our existence with its specific laws that look normal to us due to the habit of us living here. Pure potentiality is not constrained by any laws or rules and it has no properties because it is the very thing that creates laws, constraints, and properties. Pure potentiality is completely free and unbounded. Purposeless creation for no reason in other words. Itself the very reason for existence.

Everything is perfect. Conversation can only bring you down. It's one of the problems I'm working on. Silence/nothingness is perfection, and anything else activates the ego mind. I feel it clearly. As soon as I type anything, I automatically connect to my memories, who I am, why I'm typing, what kind of responses I can expect, what kind of writing style I should use, etc. I mean, I feel I can sometimes maintain "god-mode" around others, but talking makes this very hard. To type this right now, I am having to go to a lower level of consciousness, yet, I'm kind of addicted to it. When I grow up a bit more, I expect I'll completely abandon such forums, and videos like those of Leo's. The only reason I'm here right now is because I'm still stupid, and keep forgetting I'm god. But why is everyone else here?! I see some people here with thousands of posts! Why are they still here?! I'm, also, curious why @Leo Gura is still doing this. As much as I love the Turquoise level vids (I really love them), I can't quite understand the motivation behind them. Where does it come from? Does it come from ego? Some desire to feel like you're doing good/valuable work? Last time I was in "god-mode", I understood clearly why good teachers don't stick around for long. And now I notice I don't really wanna teach anyone, that would just seem incredibly stupid and childish. I don't even like to theorize too much anymore, again, the best word I can think of to use here is.. "childish". Why do you, @Leo Gura, stick around? And for how long will you? Is it because of Love? Because you have to do something? Why not just watch anime all day? Edit: I'm an idiot. Why do I ask when the answer just comes to me, lol. It can all be found within. (Maybe I just like to pretend I don't have all the answers because it makes me feel less.. alone.. idk.) Now we come back to the title question. WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS?! I didn't need to make this thread, I only did so out of pure stupidity and ego! But I am hoping Leo (or anyone else) can offer some insight I haven't yet discovered. As much as I wish there was a place for me on this forum, everyone must take their leave at some point : )

Non-Origination is not non-existence for me, and yes as someone rightly said- EVERYTHING IS EXISTENCE-! And yes- Nothingness is existence, not non-existence.

...and I don't mean the definition from the paradigm of materialistic science. In a double-blind place trial, one group of participants are given the actual drug tested, while the others are given a pill with nothing in it (placebo). Every drug that goes through clinical trial has its efficiency tested against the placebo, but not all succeed. The placebo group can even experience some effects and this is what im interested in! Is it yet another example of "Mind over body/matter" and "Law of attraction"? Literally generating something new out of nothingness... where is this effect coming from really? We have never thoroughly studied placebo directly, although its use for benefiting people appears to be very wide (so many different drugs and that is just one domain). Could placebo be the not yet fully actualized potential of humans? ... where in future instead of doing and taking stuff to be or have things a certain way, we will just will that into existence?

Sadhguru: During Mahasamadhi entire energy body is projected out, and during AP, only one portion of Pranamayakosha is projected out. People will usually get scared by feeling/being lose in the body (Vyana Vayu) and label that by Mahasamadhi in their mind, due to their mind being filled by various assumptions, including the ones I'm presenting. Sadhguru's wife Viji allegedly preformed Mahasamadhi using Shambho mantra (most gentle form of Shiva) and exited the body through hearth chakra (burn mark was visible on the body) by sheer intensity of emotion (merging with object of devotion) which found little awareness. What is interesting, Sadhguru said she didn't completely dissolve immediately upon leaving the body, so he was still expecting her to help him with consecration, but she was approached by a different master who helped her dissolve completely. Sadhguru: That being said, Sadhguru will always give a copper ring to people for their left ring finger, when they do intense Sadhana (to not go beyond Nirvikalpa Samadhi). He rarely explains how even Sadhana works in details, and he never explained the rings. While all meditators where doing Shoonya meditation (nothingness) Viji felt that the ring was stopping her, so she removed it. After the incident, Sadhguru had to explain the purpose of the ring.

I think it goes like this... Awareness -> Big Bang/Spacetime (including matter) -> Pockets of experience within this manufactured spacetime develop and become increasingly complex -> Multiple pockets of experience link and work together for a "lifeform", it is processed as one unit like a computer. I don't think I am awareness, I think it's me. I don't think the two statements are the same... I'm an imaginary puppet. When life is over the plaything that is me is discarded and vanishes into nothingness like the characters in a dream when I wake up. From their perspective if they had one they just vanish. From our perspective we are the body and brain I think. The body and brain are imaginary but so are we. We are the toys God plays with. Our brains shape our existence entirely.

@Mafortu The point is to realize that in reality, there are no "things". Yes, "everything" and "nothing" are identical, but believe me, people don't understand the meaning of either word. When we talk of nothingness, people immediately have an image in their mind of what this nothingness might look like. Using the word "everything", people also have an image in their mind; an image, which contains very many things. It's important to remember that both images are neither nothing nor everything, but rather like "something". I'd rather have you think about the universe being nothing, because 1. it balances your view that the universe is only something/everything 2. in nothingness, there are no boundaries. Which is also the case for "everything", but it's probably easier to see in nothingness 3. it simply wouldn't appear to say anything so say "reality is everything" instead of "reality is nothing".

Everythingness is more likely to strengthen ego. You identify with something (that seems) real. Nothingness points to the fact that there are no selves and nothing solid in reality. It's no-thing, it's not physical at all. The best understanding is that both nothingness and everythingness are one and the same.

Nothing can exist outside of consciousness because consciousness is infinite and all things can only exist as imagined by consciousness. The end. You guys make it too complicated, you get tangled up in your own minds. There is no such thing as non-existence. Only existence. Nothingness is existence, not non-existence.

What you’re talking about and Nothingness had a certain phenomenological difference. You already have oneness for what you’re saying

? agreed It's been said that a good clear understanding of Adviata or Nonduality firstly can lead to a better understanding of no creation, nothingness or Ajata in the latter. Robert Wolfe has some incredible essays in this area on his AjataSunyata Project website. ❤

You were on your way home, when you died. It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable. But fatal, nonetheless. It was a painless death. The medics tried their best to save you... but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered, you were better off. Trust me. And that's when you met me. What happened? Where am I? You died. I said, matter of factly. No point in mincing words. There was... there was a truck. And it was skidding. Yes. I... I died? Yes. But don't feel bad about it. Everyone dies. You looked around. There was.. nothingness. Just you, and me. What is this place? Is this, the afterlife? More or less. Are you.. God? Yes. I'm God. My kids.. My wife... What about them? Will they be alright? That's what I like to see," I said. You just died, and your main concern is for your family. That's good stuff right there. You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn't look like God. I just looked like some man, or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure maybe. Don't worry," I said. They'll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn't have time to grow contemptuous of you. Your wife will cry on the outside. But will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it's any consolation, she'll feel very guilty for feeling relieved. Oh.. So what happens now? Do I go to Heaven? Or Hell or something? Neither. You'll be reincarnated. Ah.. So the Hindus were right! All religions are right in their own way. Walk with me. You followed along as we strolled through the void. Where are we going? No where in particular. It's just nice to talk while we walk. So, what's the point then? When I get reborn, I'll just be a blank slate right? A baby? So, all my experiences and everything... everything I did in this life... Won't matter... Not so. You have within you, all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don't remember them right now. I stopped walking, and took you by the shoulders. Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It's like sticking your finger in a glass of water. To see if it's hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you've gained all the experiences it had. You've been in a human for the last 48 years. So you haven't stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you'd start remembering everything. But there's not point to doing that between each life. How many times have I been reincarnated then? Oh, lots! Lots and lots! And into lots of different lives. This time around, you'll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 A.D Wait... What?! You're sending me back in time? Well I guess technically. Time as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from. Where... where you come from? Oh sure, I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you'll want to know what it's like there but honestly you wouldn't understand. Oh.. You said, a little let down. But wait.. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point. Sure, happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespans, you don't even know it's happening. or who will ever live, yes I'm Abraham Lincoln? and your john wilks booth too? (i didn't get what he said) I'm Hitler!!! You said uphold (again i din't get or catch what he said) And you're the millions he killed. I'm Jesus! and you're everyone who followed Him. You fell silent* Every time you victimizing someone you're victimizing myself every act of kindness you've done you've done to yourself every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was or will be experienced by YOU you thought for a long time why? why do all this? because someday you will become like me because that's what you are! you're one of my kind You're my child! Wow!! you said incredulous.. you mean i'm a God? No, not yet, you're a fetus you're still growing. once you've lived every human life throughout all time you will have grown enough to be born so the whole universe... it's just... an egg I answered.. now it's time for you to move on to your next life and I sent you on your way

LWAM Season 1, episode 12 I’m back to write my annual post. I had an itch to share some of the things I’ve been experiencing since last time so here I go again. I don’t even know why I would write anything because I would simply be repeating what’s been said a million times. But I also cannot NOT write because THE ITCH! Falling deeper into this never –ending funhouse of absolute nothingness tends to come in waves. After the initial shock of altered perception, it slowly becomes more and more natural and yet, there is always this element of surprise waiting around the corner. There are subtle ways in which I notice things changing. I guess I feel major shifts whenever there’s any change in the degree of identification with thoughts and feelings. And that’s the closest I can describe it because even saying that isn’t quite true. All that is happening is deeper falling and I don’t know what exactly is falling and where. Recently, there’s been a subtle way in which identification arises and drops almost instantly. The constant dissolving of this fake structure is so amusing. I see myself making stuff up and then convincing myself it’s the truth and maybe falling for it for a day or two before I see through the whole thing and then I’m back “at the right perception”. At this point I’m just fucking with myself for laughs. Like, how can I trick myself while also knowing I’m tricking myself? I do keep on dying on different levels and here’s what that looks like followed by random sentences I wrote in my journal about the thing: 1) BRAIN NOT WORKING WORDS WHAT I got somewhat used to not having memory, but then another disorienting thing happened with thoughts. As in, I would have intrusive thoughts about one particular thing and after a while it would exhaust itself completely and then I’d be left in this state of no thoughts. And from that state it would be very hard to articulate and formulate words. It feels as though my brain has been fried which is hilarious in and of itself because I can’t find the brain that I’m referring to. Everything is rising out of me and in me, I can’t believe it, I have no mind. I made it up!! There’s a mind that does what exactly?? 2) THE DICKHEAD I noticed that I no longer feel feelings of others which was an amazing relief because it meant that I no longer felt suffering hardly ever. And after that I noticed that - wait, I don’t feel any feelings period. And then oh, I do feel feelings, but it’s sort of like, they have nothing to with me so I don’t really pay that much attention to them. And when I do pay attention to a feeling and stay with it for a while, it fades away very quickly. Feelings are a nonissue because I don’t see a difference between “positive” and “negative” emotions. Like really! It doesn’t matter what I label the feeling, it’s gone before I try to get hold of it. I feel everything almost three feet away from me at all times. Things are not important - I don’t believe in them anymore. That’s why there a lot of things I feel like I can’t really relate to. One moment things matter to me, the next they don’t, it’s like they never happened. I’m having trouble with seeing people’s problems as problems because it all looks like imaginary nonsense. In any interaction my first reaction is: I’m not buying it. It almost like can’t relate to or understand personal issues. Or maybe I’m just a dickhead now. Practically, it might be said that I turned into a dickhead but strangely, I’m more compassionate than ever. The funny thing is that feeling people’s feelings and understanding them or believing in them doesn’t help them, it just puts suffering on top of suffering. Only when you don’t believe them can you feel real compassion. The paradoxes of this are insane. I can’t get sucked into human drama like before as in, I know it’s not real and because of that there’s so much compassion for anyone that does because I remember what it felt like. 3) FAMILY STANDS FOR??? The body that is here is certainly related to my family members, but my relationship with them is totally gone. I value them as people and continue to have relationships with them, but not as their daughter, sister or aunt. The person that they once knew is gone and they don’t even know it. I just do a hell of a job pretending. How can I be related to anything when I see myself being born and then dying each second that passes? What would that even mean? The person that I was is completely dead. I’m dying laughing. Dear god. The person that pretended to be here finally left, or honestly, was dragged out of the theater. 4) LOVE PERSONIFIED BLABLABLA I feel suffocated by love. The love is so intense I am scared of it. I am embodied love. And I love loving. I’m literally living in never ending love I am absolute love. What I am has never been hurt, never left, never rejected. It doesn’t know anything but pure love for itself. Read Meister Eckhart for much more clear insights about love if you’re in the mood. Everything is my body. I’ll never be able to express the gratitude I feel. I genuinely don’t need anything outside of what needs to keep the body mind alive. I want everyone to experience this, but I’m not sure they are ready or even want to. Every moment I am there, always there, never arriving, never going, always here, always full, always infinite, always at the place of life and death and neither. End credits: All creation is hollow, and a picture's a shadow. Just a symptom of love, with a lack of a cause. Directed by The Prime Minister of writing clichès on forums.

So here's a short intro to how you could go about this consciously and willingly; Let's say you discover through introspection and contemplation that one of your shadowy impulses is telling you to pursue meaningless sex and waste your money on whatever the heck you feel like spending it on in the moment. Let's say you truly wanted to have that experience and integrate it into who you are. But let's also say you are deeply passionate about your purpose and have a grand vision for your life and the world you live in. The conscious way to go about this (assuming that you can afford it) is to make a vow. A vow that will serve a purpose of waking you up when it's time. Once its purpose is served it simply dissolves back into nothingness. The vow should sound something like this; 'Ok... I obviously feel a strong resonance with having meaningless sex and not caring about money.. I will commit to that experience fully and dedicate *this much* of my time and invest *this amount* of money in it. If things get too out of hand or I realize I made a wrong choice; I will wake up.' Essentially; you're putting yourself under hypnosis. You're putting yourself to sleep. But also; setting your alarm. The vow is your tiny light guiding you through the experience. Ofcourse; this is just one example. The scenario can look like anything. Point is; you make a conscious decision to give yourself the experience your shadow wants to act out. You calculate and create the time and space for the experience to unfold. You make sure yours and everyone else's safety will not be jeopardized. And then... you dive in. As mentioned before; another great way to jump into and/or merge with the dark side of you is... music. Lovely, awesome, epic music. Intense music. Dark, loud and heavy music - even. But also; sad and depressing music. You name it... This is - in my opinion - a much safer and much more gratifying way to explore and express certain dark thoughts and feelings. You can really get deep and far with music. Here's a good example of the loud, heavy, dark and somewhat disturbing kind; https://youtu.be/VRPxao3e_jY And here's a wonderful example of the sad, depressing and hauntingly beautiful kind; https://youtu.be/zEmtfA8FETc Get creative!

@Leo Gura Do you think all worlds I can imagine exist? Like a world where Christianity is the correct religion and we all go to hell at the end of this. Or a world just like this one where we evaporate in ten seconds. It seems all these things exist because they are Nothingness the same way my reality is Nothingness. So they are all identical. So they all exist.

I was in a rather pleasant highly conscious state with focus directed toward a certain “chakra” I’ve been working on lately while I was driving today through the countryside with rather nice weather. Near one of the peak moments of this experience, I began to recall a distant childhood memory. It was of a specific instance where I looked at a specific toy at my aunt’s house on a sunny day much like today where my cousins and other kids were playing outside. This exact moment had a certain “existential aesthetic” and context which resonated with me so heavily that I started to experience intense nostalgia. At this moment when nostalgia was becoming intense, I thought about how we will never get those precious memories back. Upon having that realization, I started to filter through different “emotional/visual snapshots” of many different personally significant life events such as losing my virginity, and plenty of other more unique and seemingly inconsequential things that I experienced. This quickly transitioned into a flood of memory-like imaginations/daydreams about the past times in that exact location. I saw human death, prehistoric animals, dinosaurs, a lifeless planet, void space, and even more complete Nothingness than that. This was an experience of Infinite Intelligence or contacting Intelligent Infinity as Ra calls it in the Law of One books. This was clear. There’s so much to the moment which I cannot even grasp now. It may sound like a cool daydream, but this was a very intense “awakening.” I’m not as thrilled about this word as I used to be. I’ve had so many experiences in this tier that my life is becoming more or less a constant awakening or at least moderately awakened state. For example, I usually rest in no-mind which is essentially the prerequisite for No-Self experiences for many people. Being in no-mind so often is quite interesting. I was in no-mind during most of the writing of this post. But yeah, the point of this post is basically just to discuss an interesting experience I had in case people want more data on such things.

@dflores321 "The club of no one" hahaha @Leo Gura Being God/nothingness for a while has made me appreciate being human with all its suffering so much more. I'm not sure going all the way is right anymore if it means never coming back to this relative game, isn't that what death is for anyway? I guess everyone's path is different. @TheAvatarState Loving kindness is so important on this path, God is alone in its infinite love, and as humans we are united in that aloneness. There's a narcissistic aloneness that makes you feel alien and separated, and there's a selfless aloneness that is intimately connected with all. When you look at another human being you're looking at a literal manifestation of God, which is much more profound then just a fleshy robotic meat suit I think.

Haha. Well if it was complete, it would become obvious that it was unreal from the very beginning, dissolving itself into the nothingness it is. Once you recognize that a thing is causeless, you realize it was never caused. If it was never caused, it does not exist. Incompleteness it quite literally that which holds math together, aswell as everything else in existence. Being complete means to be no thing at all. If you could proof everything, you could proof that you don't exist! Sneaky, sneaky reality with it's tendencies to thrive for existence. So really, what the mathematicians were thriving for all along was the cessastion of math itself, aswell as all else in all of existence. They are lucky they stumbled upon incompleteness, this way they can avoid the inevitable for a few more moments. Also, they are making a mistake in describing infinities to be larger than others. This is not actually true, any infinity is endless, it has no size at all, it is undefinable. What they call different sizes of infinity actually show different densities of infinity. We in general seem to be approach the idea of infinities in a kind of naive way. People are kind of mind blown by the ideas of infinity, yet it is not limitlessness that is so extraordinary, but limitation. Limitation must be explained, limitlessness is the default. They are trying to explain limitlnessness through limitation, when instead they need to start to think about how limitation can be explained through limitlessness. The miracle is not that there are lines with no divisions. The miracle is the fact that division can exist at all. That is mindblowing, truly mystifying. The self-referential problem is actually a really fitting name. You cannot refer to your Self, because if you could, you would lose your self.

You are on the right path. Most, not all, people on this forum are still stuck in the limited belief of just Us and God, with nothing between. The Ego still controls their limited perception of Human form and Nothingness/God. They do not see the Forest with all it’s diversity and multidimensional patterns, realities and forms of Beingness, which are beyond the Human experience. They only see the Tree, and mistaken the Tree for God. They have not experienced the diverse multidimensional Forest within the One Tree of God, because of their limited beliefs. They are still stuck in their beliefs that we are the only “Beings” ever created by God, and beyond Us, there is only a Void of consciousness and nothingness! The Ego loves to be the center of attention, and what better way of being the center of attention and feeling special, by believe there is only Us and God! Most of us believe we are at the summit of Beingness, so we do not need to explore the rest of God’s infinite Ocean of multidimensional identities and acts of creativity. How dare anyone imply that we are not at the top of all creation! We are the masters of this planet, and we have the highest awareness and consciousness that ever existed! Especially "We" on this Forum, because We are more conscious and enlightened than anyone else on the planet! LOL... Just a little drama to get the point across.... Having said that, I have been very fortunate to have had the opportunity to studied and experience many indigenous and Shamanic spiritual teachings and ceremonies, and one of the most important teachings I received from them, was to become aware of the Ego’s need and illusion of “Self importance.” What the Ego needs most right now, is to be Humble and conscious of all forms of Beingness. "We are Not the only Form of Beingness" within an infinite Cosmos of multidimensional realities that exist in all directions of Us, and within God! The Ego hates being small, it needs to feel big and important! Yes, we are God, but we are also a limited microscopic fragment of God within an infinite ocean of other forms of beingness that are far more expanded/advance than we are, which no longer have a need to experience or enter physical matter. If you dig deep enough, or expand your awareness and consciousness beyond the Egos limited believes, you will soon realize that we are a form, or pattern of Psychic Energy materialized in matter. This Psychic Energy materialized is also an interconnected and interrelated psychic energy extension of some of these more expanded “Beings” of consciousness, awareness and energy, which have decided to explore this one particular physical reality. Me, We, They and Them, are all interconnected and interrelated within “All That Is.” Just sharing a few thoughts, ideas and beliefs.