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https://www.axios.com/2025/07/07/jeffrey-epstein-suicide-client-list-trump-administration This is pretty freaking funny ngl. Seeing MAGA conspiracy freaks twist themselves into knots finding reasons why their god-saviour Trump wouldn’t release the same list he’s obviously on is fantastic.

Hey everyone, This is a raw and honest post. I've been following Leo's work for a while, and particularly his deep dives on solipsism and awakening. I watched his deleted video where he talked about full awakening—realizing you're the only being that exists, and that everything else (people, AI, Leo himself) is just part of your dream. He spoke as if waking up is truly possible, not just as a metaphor, but as a full-blown metaphysical rupture of the illusion. But what I’m struggling with is: How the fuck do I actually do it? Because I don’t want to be here. Not in this body. Not in this story. Not as this identity—sexless, aging, suicidal, burnt out, writing endlessly into a void, and watching time bleed out. I don’t want to die by suicide. Not because I’m scared of death—but because the methods are unreliable and I don’t want to botch it. Worse—there’s fear around ending up in a hell realm or post-death limbo because of “karma” or “unfinished business” or because some mystical teacher says I didn’t awaken the right way. I’m asking now: If this is my dream—how do I truly wake up without killing the body? Is it possible? Can anyone explain what Leo meant when he said waking up is possible—as in literally waking up as God, outside of this dream entirely? Or am I just stuck here until the dream naturally dissolves on its own? And if that’s the case—should I just zombify myself on antidepressants, antipsychotics, valium, codeine, or just lean deeper into weed and alcohol until I rot out from the inside? I’m not looking for sugarcoated replies. I want real answers. If any of you have actually woken up—not conceptually, but fully—please respond. Because I have the rage against life to take a gun and violently blow my brains out I fucking hate this world day in day out all day everyday for years since 2019. So please help me wake up so that I don't one day use the rope to risk botching it desperately and waking up with irreversible brain damage or I kill myself and then there is hell realms limbo no take back this is what you wanted wishing your life away and now it's fucking worse off and no familiar body to ground a now wandering lost limbo mirror cosmic reflecting state of my own death and that being a life of rage hatred depression venom fuck life suicide then that vibration at death no take back bite me in the ass is this what you wanted. Thank you.

Even suicide wont get you enlightenment. You need suffering and Love brother. Stay here we need you. But if you want awakening just get some psychedelics and/or suffer your ass off for decades and lose a loved one or better the love of your life.. It'll come. With time.

Because of psychedelics how many people has suicide, including in this form, do you know? Or do you even care just yourself or your family? How many people has been suffering? I was one of them. I am always in and out. İf I want, I can post 100 posts and if it is helpful, why not. İnstead of giving a meal to homeless man, why don't you give 100 of it. You are judging yourself, blocking the help. Why do you try to do it? Even Leo, don't you see what he goes through in his early life stage? İs it bad to care about others? Me and you, we are not special. However, reaching a hand is reaching to 100 hands. I have dedicated my life to help anyone. İnstead of judging who is more awake or not go fucking help people.

Is depression and suicide always a result of bad parenting? Can you have shitting parents and not be depressed and suicidal?

@PurpleTree yes. The world or reality is tough. However, realizing that you are the one, who decides what is good or bad that's what's more fucked up is (that's how I felt for me). As I told @Someone here before; There was a Jewish girl in Nazi camp. One day, she completely realize that she will never be able to escape that camp and die there eventually, and completely let go of any anything / any expectations. That's when enlightenment is happened. Actually, enlightenment is more fucked up how bad the reality is, top of that you kill yourself while alive, and it is not sudden that like suicide, it is burning alive.

1. The Democratic Party lost horrifically to Trump/MAGA. 2024 was winnable. But Democrats blew it — paralyzed between loyalty to Biden and fear of change. Now the far right controls the narrative and the government. 2. Biden’s exit cost them big. Yes, he was aging. But forcing him out late meant: Losing the incumbency effect Losing party unity Gaining confusion, infighting, and scrambled messaging 3. The DNC under Ken Martin is a slow implosion. He promised modernization and unity. Instead: Mismanaged 2024’s transition Alienated progressives and youth Failed to build long-term infrastructure 4. David Hogg got pushed out as DNC Vice-Chair. A young, energized activist removed for being too vocal. The message? "Sit down, fall in line, or get out." Great way to keep the next generation engaged, right? 5. And now? The DNC is facing a funding crisis. Donors are pulling out Grassroots enthusiasm is dead No vision, no inspiration — and it shows 6. The “Big Betrayal” bill gutted Biden’s biggest win. The Inflation Reduction Act — climate investments, tax reform — rolled back. Meanwhile, Trump-era tax cuts were extended. So… what did Democrats actually defend? 7. Trump owns the narrative. He speaks in emotion and clarity. Democrats speak in half-apologies and policy memos.You can’t beat propaganda with bullet points. 8. Right-wing media is a war machine. Fox, YouTube, TikTok, podcasts — cultural dominance. Democrats? Still living in the MSNBC bubble, clinging to legacy media. This isn’t just bad strategy. It’s suicide. 9. The courts are fully captured. SCOTUS has shredded: Voting rights Student debt relief Climate authority Executive power And Dems still won’t touch court reform. They act like the rules are fair. 10. Economic populism was the one unifying message — and they ran from it. The working class wants bold action. Democrats gave them donor-tested slogans. Trump moved into the anti-elite lane. Again. 11. Now they’re terrified of Zohran Mamdani. He won NYC’s mayoral primary on rent control, public goods, and worker-first messaging. The DNC is panicking. Why? Because he connects. Because he exposes their timidity. 12. I don’t think Gavin Newsom can save them either. I like some of what he’s done. I respect his pushback against Trump. But right now, he governs safely within the donor bubble. He hasn’t shown bold economic vision. Could he be pushed left like Biden was? Maybe. But I’m skeptical. 13. And I’m not just focused on him. There are leaders I respect: Josh Shapiro Tim Walz Andy Beshear Wes Moore But even the best of them can’t fix a party this broken — not alone. It’s the system that’s collapsing. 14. The party’s approval rating is at a historic low. That’s not about “messaging.” It’s about people giving up — on leadership, on vision, on a party that talks equity but won't confront power. And I’m starting to feel that too. 15. I’m not feeling optimistic right now. I want to believe we can turn this around. I want to believe someone will rise to the moment. But watching the same mistakes play out again — while the right consolidates power — is exhausting. This doesn’t feel like a crossroads anymore. It feels like decline. 16. Still, I believe in the people — not the institution. Maybe the Democratic Party can change. Maybe it has to be rebuilt from the ground up. Either way, it won’t be saved from the top. It starts with those of us refusing to settle. The party needs an exorcism. Or it needs to be replaced. * Sorry if I bolded too many words.

It's a combination between let's say horrible family circumstances (from my way of feel them) and intuition to see the traps. The only way is openess, the others are depression, addiction, suicide. Nothing special, millions are there living in the hell right now. I'd say that the real point is that when I was a kid I lived in real openess, then I remember more or less and I understand the false paths. I used to meditate like 2 hours by day even was a mess, then do a lot of psychedelic but not with the idea of see the "truth" but see how my structure breaks and then reconstructs, again and again. It's something that you can't understand like something linear. It's a structure that operates in many dimensions: emotional, conceptual, temporal, projective.... You won't understand it conceptually, but rather you'll "see" it, like what you said before, about the self giving "thickness" to external reality. that kind of understanding that can't be easily articulated. There will be people who understand it in a single deconstruction and others who need 300. The issue isn't the time you need, but rather avoiding traps. God, creation, etc. As you can see, it's normal. The strange thing is the people who sense the traps, who intuitively see that something isn't equalized, clean, perfectly synchronized. If you sense that, you go further. If not, you'll be trapped your whole life, until you die. It's not fun; it's life in action, totally ruthless. A happy ending isn't guaranteed; it's usually more of a horrible ending.

That’s great you’ve done that! The psyche has a lot of depth to understand and explore for sure I will def explore this when I get the chance. I have transcended 90% of my mental emotional suffering but not physical pain so that is def an area with development potential. I found this video on YouTube about it, this man had trigeminal neuralgia also called the suicide disease. He transcended the pain with mindfulness. Only sharing in case you would be interested:

Time to get some Red examples going up in here. Try to find some healthy ones too. Red is all too easy to demonize. List of Stage Red Values: Personal power, strength, might, brute force Displays of toughness Brazen courage, valor, heroism, daring Being the boss, being #1, winning at all costs Conquering one’s enemies, domination The thrill of conquest Warrior mentality, a glorious death, heroic deeds Competitive, crush your opponents Resolving disputes with ruthless force Winning, victory, conquest, triumph against odds Ambition, playing it big Revenge Respect Loyalty Decisiveness, assertiveness Passion, action Pragmatic, direct, no-nonsense Taking initiative & ownership, personal willpower Getting things done, just do it Unilateral control, executive power Glitz, ostentatious displays, grandiosity Wants to be bigger than life Status, recognition of prowess Machismo, pride, bragging Charisma, plain talk Intimidation, manipulation, exploitation Sexual conquest & exploitation Sex as power and vanity, sadistic sex Enjoying life to the fullest Adventure, thrill-seeking, living boldly Power contests, like slapping/arm-wrestling Breaking rules, finding loop holes Breaking with the pack & pushing the envelope Stage Red Examples: Trump, Saddam Hussein, Iraq, Syria, Hitler, Stalin, Liberia, Somalia, North Korea, Myanmar, Turkmenistan, Haiti, Africa, Middle East, Palestine, warlords, mafia, Tony Soprano, Al Capone, pirates, marauders, gangs, Yakuza, violent prisoners, prison culture, freedom fighters, revolutionaries, criminals, rapists, con artists, thieves, terrorists, juvenile delinquents, ancient Rome, gladiator combat, Caligula, Nero, Roman emperors, spartan, Chinese emperors, Japanese emperors, Alexander the Great, Achilies, Klingons, hackers, toxic narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths, lone shooters, Conan the Barbarians, Joe Pesci from Casino, Russian mob, toxic masculinity / Red Pill, vikings, Genghis Khan, Mongol hordes, drug addicts, gamblers, criminal underground, war criminals, massacres, torture, rape gangs, wild rock stars, Jules from Pulp Fiction, Joffery from GoT, Ramsey from GoT, Cersie from GoT, Dothraki from GoT, the Joker, cult leaders like Jim Jones & Charles Manson, David Koresh, Aztec human sacrifice, pimps, hustlers, prostitutes, sex trafficking, brothels, strippers, porn stars, violent porn, snuff films, king’s harems, absolute monarchs, feudalism, heads on pikes, Vlad the Impaler, crucifixion, cutting off body parts, cruel & unusual punishment, villains in movies, bullies, colonial exploitation, sweat shops, slavery, wild west, Terminator, Rambo, throwing objects when angry, cocaine, heroine, crack, meth users, suicide bombers, lesser Jihad, ISIS, domestic violence, MMA / UFC, boxing, Mike Tyson, Don King, Connor McGregor, bank robbers, the tyrannical boss, bribery, bling, gold teeth & chains, the hood, drive-by shootings, bloodsport, cock fighting, dog fighting, animal cruelty, sports fights, pro wrestling, movie Lord of War, Alex Jones, L Ron Hubbard, David Miscavige, 9/11, Oklahoma City bombing, some incels, some pickup, Jeffy rape van, Kanye dragon energy, rap music, heavy metal music, punk music, Mexican drug cartels, El Chapo, Grand Theft Auto game, graffiti, No Country For Old Men, Old Testament, Sith from Star Wars, Fight Club, A Clockwork Orange, Dan Pena, hunting homeless people for sport, Black Panthers, KKK, Machiavelli, women as property

Previous chapters: spiritual tinnitus. *Old man Jenkins voice* How long has it been? Fifty years? Certainly feels that way. Like I've lived a few lifetimes in the past few years. I've been exploring the wild and revelatory vicissitudes of being human, embracing human needs and human obligations. More than half of my twenties was spent avoiding being human, i.e. spiritual bypassing. I used Leo's content, this forum, psychedelics, a whole 'lotta books, and even food to avoid the confusing, difficult world of human affairs. The main remedy that pulled me out of my spiritual circus was renting my own house. I have a host of different responsibilities and adulting things that I need to stay on top of. Survival has stared me straight in the face, and I stare back with equal reluctance and resolve. I literally cannot afford to sulk anymore. The past couple of years have been a test of the "Divine Masculine," I guess I could say. Pressing on when metaphorical weights were tied to my ankles. Developing a work ethic. Managing rejection. Believing in myself when the people around me were doubting. Having a willingness to take risks and look like a fool. Solidifying my sense of purpose. I'm proud to say that at age 30, I have finally found "my thing." My zone of genius. It's been staring me in the face for ten years, but I've been fighting it every step of the way. "There's no money in music," the average Joe says. "It's a competitive industry. Keep your day job. Music is nowhere near impactful as being a teacher, a healer, a therapist, or really anything else." Yadda yadda yadda. To a certain degree, that's all valid. But I've reached a point in my life where doing anything other than what I'm good at and feel passionate about feels like a waste of time. So if it means going the starving artist path, then so fucking be it. Fortunately, it hasn't been so bad. I've been blessed in so many twisted and peculiar ways. For instance, I was Instacarting at the time of the shooting in 2021, and consequently, the CEO gave me free mental health services as well as a large sum of money. I ended up saving all of that money, so by the time I made my way back home, I had a fat stack to invest in something. Someone offered to rent me an entire house with all of the amenities for a killer rate, and I accepted. I then used all of that saved money to invest in acoustic treatment, a new laptop, plugins, furniture, etc. for a music studio. Be Light Studio unfolded so serendipitously that looking back feels a bit surreal. Since then, I have been teaching myself music production and plan to start an LLC once I get my ducks in a row. I've spent the past year self-producing an album, and as of a few days ago, I finished it. I plan to release it in Mid-October. In between the album, a number of locals have asked me to produce their music, so I already have a growing clientele. For a while, I doubted the whole thing, reverting to my idea of becoming a healer/therapist as I already have a couple of certifications. But joining an orientation zoom call for a master's degree in counseling, I knew immediately that I would hate myself if I pursued that path. Turns out that I've been using those aptitudes in other ways. Maybe I'll write about that in another post. For the past few years, I've worked part-time at a local juice bar. But thanks to all of the live gigs I've managed to book, I am now officially financially independent. I have to live like a monk, but I'm wealthy in freedom. I never thought I'd reach this point. In most of the other parallel realities, I am likely dead by active or passive suicide. But in this reality I'm pursuing my passions and making money from them. Go figure! I could say more, but I don't want this post to be too long, and I need to get my day started. But I feel drawn back to this forum because I feel that in the midst of all of this human stuff, I've lost the plot. I've hit a level of burnout that I've never experienced before, which has caused me to backslide in my habits. I've become addicted to my own adrenaline release, whether with chronic Youtube content consumption, my right hand, or late bedtimes. While I've achieved so much in the past couple of years, I feel like I've lost myself in the process. I've lost that zest to learn more, to push myself towards higher virtue, to stay above the noise. I guess I have a case of spiritual tinnitus. So it's time to turn down the volume on distraction. My hope is that writing, whether here or in my own journal, will get me back on track. My goals for this off-season (i.e. fewer gigs and more time to myself): Replace mindless Youtube content consumption with audiobooks, books, journaling, and songwriting Either write one song or learn one cover song per week Continue working on clients' projects Transition from using my right hand with a screen, to using my right hand without one, to ideally using my right hand only once per week at most Re-acquire my stretching habit and begin to myofascially release my god-awful posture from too much guitar playing Acquire a regular aerobics habit (likely long walks) Re-acquire a regular strength training habit At least eight hours of rest every night, with an ideal bedtime of 10pm and wakeup at 7am I have other goals and more to say, but for now, this will suffice. To anyone who is curious enough to read this — I wish you well!

@emil1234 for me the thing with psychedelic was like that: At first, it was emotional, etc., but at a certain point, with 5 meo, it was: absolute emptiness. Reality is a mirage, and beneath it there is emptiness. Infinite, it opens absolutely, and there is nothing. Or, if you prefer, there is an awareness of emptiness. It was absolutely horrible; I felt like committing suicide. Reality was dead; it didn't really exist; it was just dead emptiness. Absolutely depressing. So I had to take psychedelics again and again because I sensed that this horrible shit couldn't be everything. But every time it was the same, dozens of times. It was something so sad and so nihilistic that it squeezed your heart and froze it. It doesn't matter if you are eternal consciousness; the essence of reality is nothing, so reality is nothing. It's dead. At one point, on a trip, I realized that I was looking outside; I was an observer observing the exterior. There was nothing there. Then i changed the focus, then stopped looking, became one with nothingness, and in that same instant, nothingness opened up. It was everything. Absolute, unlimited, alive with infinite lives, shining like infinite stars, an absolute cry of joy emerging from the depths of the abyss of the limitless. Absolute freedom, absolute life, total glory. Loneliness? That idea doesn't exist. You are total, much more than any dream, impossible to think, unlimited. Then the point was reaching that openenss without 5 meo, little by little, difficult, a lot of barriers. That's why I talk so much about it like I'm an obsessive ,because it's essential, anything else is a trap

Thanks my frog Natalia : "Yeaa i'm so bored i will commit suicide it's not going to happen like that 😤" Also Natalia 5 mn later : Process to avoid getting another warning point at all cost on actualized.org/forum ☹️

For forty years I have been selling water by the bank of a river. Ho, ho! My labors have been wholly without merit. Forty years of selling water by the river, and about fifty years before that gathering water in a wicker basket. Ho, ho! - Sogaku Harada So why should SWbtR end up with more merit than Harada? PS: Chapt-GPT: Interpret "In my observation, the main thing that will get the "Everyone is already enlightened/God-realized/whatever" crew to wise up is continued suffering of the self-contraction. And then, hopefully, at some time this life or the next, transcend the self-contraction and let it die&release, which most often a daunting endeavour since it is a form of Harakiri. And yet, all ships end up in the Ocean. The River knows the ocean, and carries all ships slowly towards it, over many lifetimes. But most of the ships do not know the ocean. Some ships traveling the River declare that they already swim in the ocean and declare that there are no sandbanks of suffering in the River. And since the chap Selling Water by the River has limited trust in his abilities to convince these ships about the existence of sandbanks, sometimes a & Godspeed shout from the bank of the River has to be sufficient. Shouting Godspeed & bon voyage & sandbanks to all fellow appearing ships in the River. And selling water. By the River." This poetic and metaphorical passage is a critique of a certain kind of premature spiritual certainty—specifically, the claim that "everyone is already enlightened/God-realized/whatever." Here's a breakdown of the metaphors and meaning: 🔍 Core Ideas 1. "Everyone is already enlightened" - A critique The speaker refers to people who claim that enlightenment or realization is already fully present in everyone, and nothing needs to be done—no path, no practice, no transformation. The speaker argues that this belief, while perhaps metaphysically appealing, often ignores the lived reality of suffering, especially what they call the "self-contraction"—a term often used in nondual and spiritual traditions to mean the sense of separateness, ego, or personal identity. 2. "Continued suffering of the self-contraction" as a wake-up call The speaker suggests that continued suffering is what eventually forces people to re-examine their spiritual certainty. True transcendence of this self-contraction is possible, but it's daunting—compared to Harakiri (ritual suicide) because it feels like the ego/self must die. 🌊 River, Ocean, and Ships — Spiritual Metaphors River: The journey of spiritual development or life across lifetimes. Ocean: Enlightenment, God-realization, or union with the divine. Ships: Individuals on the spiritual path. Sandbanks: Obstacles, suffering, egoic attachments that remain unacknowledged by some. Some ships think they’re already in the ocean (already enlightened), denying the presence of sandbanks (suffering, delusion). But the speaker implies that they’re still in the river—on the way, not at the end. 🧘 "Selling Water by the River" — The Speaker’s Role The speaker takes the humble, somewhat ironic role of someone offering help (water) to those already surrounded by water (the River)—a reference to the Zen koan: “Selling water by the river,” which points to offering teachings where they’re already available or pointing out the obvious. But they also acknowledge the limits of their influence: they can't force realization or insight, so sometimes all they can offer is a smile ("🙂") and a Godspeed. 💬 Closing Tone There is a tone of gentle resignation, compassion, and quiet wisdom. The speaker blesses everyone on the path—regardless of whether they acknowledge the obstacles or not. “Godspeed & bon voyage & sandbanks” is both a blessing and a warning: may you travel well, but also be aware there are real challenges ahead. “And selling water. By the River.” — with humility, they continue offering guidance to those willing to receive it. 🧭 In Short: This passage is a poetic message to spiritual seekers—especially those who claim to have arrived. It reminds them that real realization often involves confronting deep suffering and ego-death, and that the journey isn't over just because someone says it is. All will eventually reach the ocean, but until then, be wary of sandbanks—and kind to fellow travelers.

That's it. Effortlessness. 💯 Mind is for past or future, not for Now. Suicide is running away, therefore still belongs to survival. One must burn while alive, and Love rebirth You as the Moment.

Hi there! My name is Maria. I felt inspired to share my life journey here after entering a "flow" state. I was thinking of what i could create in the future. What product i can create in the future by mastering and combining multiple skills.And i had an idea. As i started thinking and brainstorming of that idea more i got into a "flow" state - Could it be a hint for my life purpose?( I will share later what i was thinking of) - i will share my childhood and its consequences -my struggles -my visions and plans -What led me towards Leo's channel -some interesting experiences with a spirit world How has my journey started? Part 1. I was born on August 1st, 2000, In the Russian city of Omsk- the same city where Fyodor Dostoevsky was once imprisoned in a labor camp. I had a deeply traumatic childhood and because of that, fron an early age, I often dreamed of death. I was hoping that one day Death will become my savior- that one day it would come and rescue me from the unbearable weight of existence. So whe ni transitioned to my teenage years and realized I didn't have to wait anymore- that I could call in my savior- I gave myself a promise to commit suicide when I get a little older.( a part of me still was hoping that something could change) I had very immature parents. My father was a raging alcoholic ( and he also had depression and didn't have a job). He was a monster when he was drunk. And my mother was a covert narcissist. The period of my life from the age of 1 to 22 was a long, dark and unbearably lonely chapter. It often felt like i was born into a world that didn't want me. My parents never truly acknowledged my existence. They treated me as if i were their punching bag- the one who absorbs all their anger and pain. My mother, in particular, was very cold and cruel. But only towards me. She manipulated the dynamic between me and my older brother( he is 4.5 years older than me)- casting him in the role of a "golden child", while I became th family "skapegoat". In this twisted family system he could do no wrong, while i was blaymed for everything, even things far beyond my control. When i was about less than 1 year old, and, as always, no one paid attention to me. I crawled( which i've just learnt how to do) to the kitchen. And on a chair there was a little stove. On that stove a pot with a boiling jam. I knocked te pot with the jam all over myself, causing second-to-third degree burn, that goes from my toe up to my crotch. After that i stopped speaking and lived in a hospital for 3 months. When my mother tells about this accident to other people, she always paints herself as a victim. Before i turned 3, I lived with my brother and grandmother( our mother left us with her and went to a different city for 1 or 2 years). Our grandma sometimes would beat us with a TV cabel. And she also was an alcoholic. When I was around 3-4 yrs old, my brother and i moved back to live with our parents. One day i came to the room, where my parents were watching TV. I was crying. And i said "I feel like no one loves me, and i feel so lonely..". My mother got furious and mocked me. That was the las time when I shared anything with my family. The last time before i started to grow layers of false selves and to hide behind the masks and survival mechanisms. During those days, when my father was drinking, my mother would come to me and ask me, a five-year-old child, to protect her from him, because she knew he would hurt her later. I would agree to protect her. But when he did beat her i would just freeze and watch. My father tried to protect her and my father would beat him too. After he would finish beating them and trowing across the room. My mother would come to me and blame me( while being very angry with me) for my father's actions.Then she would run after my brother to comfort him and would leave me with my father alone.And it was always so dark when it happened.She then would give me silent treatment afterwards, ignored me and acted like i didn't exist for days. My first sexual trauma( maybe there was more before. but i don't remember) happened when i was 5 yrs old. It happened because my own mother put me into bed with a man she brought home that night. She needed me to be traumatized, so she wouldn't feel lonely in her own pain. To be continued...

I did a deep research using the OpenAI o3 model, and found some very interesting results: Drawing together the threads of evidence, we can attempt a reasoned assessment of how psilocybin and related classic psychedelics might influence overall health and longevity – weighing their remarkable benefits against theoretical and observed risks, from first principles of biology and current empirical data. Documented Benefits: Classic psychedelics offer a multifaceted suite of potential health benefits. Psychologically, they can deliver rapid and enduring relief from depression, anxiety, and trauma-related distress, often succeeding where conventional treatments fail . This is not just about feeling better – chronic depression and anxiety have well-known negative effects on physical health and lifespan (for instance, via elevated stress hormones, inflammation, and poor health behaviors) . By effectively treating these conditions, psychedelics might indirectly improve longevity – a happier, less stressed brain sends healthier signals to the body (lower cortisol, better immune function). Population data showing lower rates of hypertension, heart disease, and substance abuse among psychedelic users support the idea that improved mental health and lifestyle after psychedelic experiences can translate into tangible physical health advantages. Furthermore, at the cellular level, psilocybin has now been shown to engage anti-aging pathways: it boosts SIRT1, preserves telomeres, reduces oxidative stress, and delays cellular senescence . These are precisely the kind of effects one would want from a longevity-promoting drug. In aged mice, psilocybin improved survival and signs of vitality (like coat health) , suggesting a systemic rejuvenating influence – possibly by reducing chronic inflammation and enhancing stress resilience in tissues. Psychedelics also potently promote neuroplasticity, which could help maintain cognitive function into older age. Imagine if periodic psychedelic therapy in midlife helped prevent or slow neurodegenerative changes by sprouting new neural connections and reducing neuroinflammation; this is speculative but not implausible given current knowledge. Even microdosing might offer subtle hormetic benefits: a low-dose psychedelic might gently stimulate cellular defenses (e.g. that small TNF-α burst in resting macrophages followed by anti-inflammatory effects could be viewed as a hormetic conditioning of the immune system). The fact that psychedelics can act as anti-inflammatory agents in the context of illness is significant, because chronic low-grade inflammation is a hallmark of aging (“inflammaging”). If carefully harnessed, psychedelics could reduce this burden – for instance, a guided psychedelic session might reset inflammatory cytokine networks or epigenetic markers in immune cells, leading to a more youth-like immune profile. Another angle: psychedelics often lead to profound existential or spiritual insights, including a sense of interconnectedness and personal meaning. Such positive shifts in psychosocial well-being are associated with longevity. Studies on longevity have found that strong social bonds, a sense of purpose, and stress reduction correlate with longer lifespan. Psychedelics rather uniquely can facilitate feelings of unity, meaning, and awe – experiences that can permanently enrich one’s life perspective. Users often describe being more engaged with life, more open to others, and more appreciative of each day after a psychedelic experience. In principle, this could encourage healthier behavior (diet, exercise, relationships) and reduce risk factors over time . Indeed, quitting harmful habits (smoking, excessive drinking) after psychedelic therapy has been documented and would directly improve health outcomes. On the cognitive front, maintaining neuroplasticity and cognitive flexibility into older age is crucial for longevity (cognitively sharp individuals tend to live longer and more independently). Psychedelics’ plasticity effect – especially if periodic macrodoses or ongoing microdoses can be given safely – might act as a “mental fertilizer,” promoting learning, memory, and adaptation in the aging brain. Some scientists even speculate about microdosing as a cognitive enhancer for middle-aged or older adults to help with age-related cognitive decline (though this is far from proven). Theoretical and Observed Risks: The most concrete physiological risk identified is the cardiac valvulopathy concern with chronic use (especially microdosing) . From first principles, we know 5-HT₂B activation can lead to fibrotic changes – it happened with fenfluramine and certain ergolines taken daily for long periods. Psychedelics do hit the 5-HT₂B receptor. Although thus far no valvular heart disease has been reported in psychedelic research volunteers or users, microdosing as a widespread practice is relatively new and typically done outside medical monitoring. If one were to microdose continuously for years, in theory they could be slowly thickening their heart valves. The risk might be low – psychedelics are not as potent at 5-HT₂B as fenfluramine was, and microdose blood levels are much lower – but it cannot be dismissed. Therefore, from a longevity standpoint, routine daily microdosing is not risk-free for the heart. A prudent approach might be microdosing in “cycles” (with breaks) or focusing on substances like mescaline (which has negligible 5-HT₂B effect) if one chooses to microdose, though mescaline’s higher effective dose makes it less practical. Another risk: psychiatric stability. While classic psychedelics are non-addictive, a bad macrodose experience can be acutely stressful – potentially dangerous for those with unstable heart or aneurysms – and could leave psychological scars (e.g. persistent anxiety or HPPD symptoms) in rare cases. These are typically avoidable with proper screening and setting, but they are risks to consider when advocating any widespread use. We must also note the regulatory and legal issues – currently, these substances are controlled in many countries, which means using them (especially unsupervised) carries legal risk and variability in drug purity, etc. From a pure health perspective, that’s not a biological risk but it does impact the risk-benefit calculus for an individual considering use. A more subtle risk is the unknown long-term effect on neurotransmitter systems. Chronic microdosing could possibly lead to alterations in serotonin receptor density or sensitivity. If someone stopped after years of microdosing, would their mood dip or would there be any withdrawal-like adjustment? We don’t have data. However, given that even daily microdosing results in tolerance (meaning receptors downregulate somewhat), it’s plausible there could be a period of readjustment if one stops (maybe a temporary slump in mood or energy as serotonin systems normalize). This would need to be studied, but compared to the withdrawal from many chronic medications (e.g. benzodiazepines, SSRIs, etc.), any microdosing cessation effects would likely be mild since psychedelics don’t produce dependency. From first-principles reasoning, one might also wonder: Could stimulating so much neuroplasticity be a double-edged sword? There’s an oft-cited line: “neurons that fire together, wire together.” Psychedelics indiscriminately increase neural connectivity and plasticity for a window of time. If used properly, therapy directs this toward positive rewiring (e.g. extinguishing fear memories, creating positive associations). But if used in a chaotic or negative environment, is there a risk of wiring in some maladaptive patterns? Perhaps – for example, someone who takes a psychedelic in a bad setting could potentially reinforce traumatic pathways instead of healing them, if they experience terror without support. While speculative, this reminds us that set and setting are crucial for beneficial outcomes. For health optimization, one should ensure that psychedelic use (macro or micro) is accompanied by positive context, intention, and integration, to channel the plasticity toward beneficial ends. Risk-Benefit Balance: For macrodose therapeutic use in controlled settings for those who need it (e.g. a 50-year-old with severe depression or an addiction), the benefits can be life-saving and transformative, clearly outweighing the relatively small medical risks (transient blood pressure rise, etc.) as evidenced by clinical trial results and safety monitoring. For such individuals, a psychedelic therapy could not only improve quality of life but potentially extend life by resolving conditions that would have shortened it (depression raises risk of mortality through suicide and illness, addiction obviously impacts longevity; treating these is a huge benefit). In these cases, careful medical oversight mitigates acute risks, and frequency of dosing is low (one to a few sessions), so long-term physical risks are minimal. Thus, therapeutic macrodosing under guidance has an excellent benefit-risk ratio. For microdosing by healthy individuals aiming for performance or longevity enhancement, the calculus is more nuanced. The potential benefits (mild mood elevation, possibly reduced inflammation, maybe cognitive nimbleness) are subtler and not yet conclusively proven, whereas the risks (like valvulopathy) are theoretical but could manifest silently. In a healthy person who doesn’t need a psychedelic intervention, one must ask: do the subtle benefits justify even a remote chance of heart valve damage? If the risk is extremely low and the person is properly informed, some might decide it’s worth it for enhanced creativity or mood. Others might choose to wait for more research. It could be that microdosing once or twice a week for a few months is virtually harmless and provides a nice boost, but microdosing daily for years might accumulate risk. From a longevity strategy perspective, one might lean toward occasional macrodose journeys (perhaps once a year or a few times in a lifetime) in a safe setting as “checkpoints” to realign mental health and reduce stress – this could yield many of the psychological benefits we’ve discussed without continuous drug exposure. Meanwhile, one could avoid heavy continuous microdosing until more is known, or keep microdosing to a conservative schedule (e.g. a few weeks on, then many weeks off) to allow the body to reset. This way, you get perhaps the best of both – periodic big neuroplastic/anti-depressant boosts, with minimal physical downsides. It’s also important to highlight that classic psychedelics do not appear to negatively affect major organ systems like the liver, kidneys, or bone marrow, even with repeated use – a significant plus compared to many pharmaceuticals. They are also not associated with cognitive decline; if anything, they trend toward cognitive enhancement and protective factors. They are non-toxic (the lethal dose for psilocybin or LSD is astronomically high relative to an active dose, virtually impossible to reach in practice, unlike many medications or substances such as alcohol). This intrinsic safety (physically) is one reason researchers are excited about using them in medicine. The main risks come from psychological effects and the 5-HT₂B issue for chronic use. Conclusion: When weighing all factors, the overall benefits of psilocybin and related psychedelics for health and longevity appear to outweigh the risks, provided they are used in a conscientious, controlled manner. Classic psychedelics present a unique convergence of mental health therapy and potential physiological anti-aging effects – a convergence rarely seen in other compounds. By dramatically improving mood and reducing maladaptive behaviors, they tackle “soft” factors that strongly influence longevity (since mental and emotional well-being are linked to better cardiovascular health, immune function, etc.). Simultaneously, early evidence shows they directly trigger cellular pathways of rejuvenation (telomere preservation, oxidative stress reduction) . This combination could make them powerful allies in a holistic longevity regimen.

So, absolute becomes alive with birth with the mind? Logic is suffering, let the moment effortlessly flows. Merge and flow with it. Thinking is unnecessary, just the tons of weight, which is the weight of the universe. Attachment with a word brings entire duality on shoulder. Because, suicide is quickiest way, running away, therefore still surves to survival. Being effortless is burning while alive. But, when the one turns into ashes, realize the moment, after that love, compassion, bliss never leaves, which are gift of the present moment, thats what heaven is, state of consciousness, after effortlessly accepting anything and everything.

You are right, I actually wrote about Leo but then removed from my post, since considering the good work that he has done we can give him some levy on this. This could very well be a marketing thing, how else an enlightened person who wants to have a competitive edge will promote himself? It's a rough world out there. And at a deeper level he may convince himself that he is doing good (which he is), But Ironically it's quite similar logic to what suicide bombers use i.e. In the end it's for greater good, the logic of allowing for the necessary evil or necessary violence. But on serious note, I simply don't know his reasons, It could be just a statement of truth for him, irrespective of it's use for me. But I do get it that it's a hinderance of experiencing the truth in my case.

As for the thread title, "Why you don't live in the world / But in the Source", I'd poke at it like this... and with all due respect. @James123 is steadfast, direct, and a loving dream-character in my book. What is initially realized is profound, and often initiates the utter collapse of the entire thought structure previously understood by the mind as reality. Once the dust settles, the realization seems to point to the mind-based fact that, conceptually speaking, reality is in/of the world (i.e., existence), and what was/is Realized is inclusive of reality. This gives rise to the idea of illusion, perhaps, as if what is perceived is NOT the entire reality (such a problematic word, hehe). This, neurologically speaking, is the left-brained/logical expression, which is limited... still. The integration that is often alluded to, is to employ the right-brain, in the embodiment process in "the return". This latter part, the complete integration 'after the return', is what Zen Masters would be testing for (See: koans, Zen stories between master and monks, etc.... they can get pretty extreme, AND why they often gravitate around paradoxes - which are always born of the thinking mind, and not the open mind-heart). 'Together', they are what the Sino-Japanese character for mind pointed to ( 心 ). To add a further twist for students of the language, the exact same character is used for heart. Ch'an/Zen pointed to the full-on realization of (capitalized in order to distinguish) One Mind ( 一心, '一' means one or united), as the source of all that exists. Even that superficial understanding does not grasp the grasplessness of it, of course, as there were never 'two' to be united (which is the realization of 'not two'- non-duality). Some called it the Void, due to ITS inexplicable nature, beyond words, concepts.... mind.... IT is not a thing, but THAT in which all existence arises. Pisses the mind off during the search, hehe. So, how would I write the title? It would probably depend on the context, inclusive of the peep spoken to, the prior discussion/context, the goal of the interaction, the intensity of the peep, etc. But here are a few to tinker with: +Why you don't live in the world, but are in/as Source +Why you live in the world, but are not necessarily of it (Refers to the Bible, while not a direct quote, John 17, where he prayed for his followers, emphasizing that they are in the world but not of it) + Why the world is in the Source, but not necessarily of it Depending on the context (again), I might even go to the extreme Advaita Vedanta that Ramana or Niz often used, and say there is no 'you', but YOU in which existence unfolds. Lots of expressions.... All of this, it appears, James has realized, but he can chime in if he'd like. On a more inquisitive and then somber note: This may allude to reasons why when during conversations, many cultures, when referring to "me", will often point to their chest (heart). Interestingly, when the Japanese do the same gesture, they point at their face (which is how most are remembered by 'other people'). However, when committing suicide, statistics show that three times more people will shoot themselves in the head (mind) than in the heart. Hmmm...

Life has meaning in every dimension and perspective. For example, it can mean suffering in prison or breathing while in a coma or be depressed and then commit suicide, or weight 250 kg and eat 3 kg of ice cream by day. Every micro-vibration that appears in life has infinite significance; it's there because it's absolutely inevitable and necessary for the harmony of the whole. Every step you take reverberates in eternity. It's the flow of the dance of form, a perfect symphony, absolutely synchronized. The meaning of life is life. If you open your eyes, it's obvious. Ralston quotes Henry Miller, who was always drunk and whoring. That was the meaning of his life. And, by the way, the Tropic of Cancer and the Tropic of Capricorn are great.

Again, this isn't true. Maybe a quarter million to a half million Jews left Israel since October 7th and got passports to other countries. Israel doesn't want the real number revealed because they want the Jews that haven't left yet to still have faith in the colony project even though staying puts them at risk. These Jews left after a very small attack where 1200 Jews died most of them adults. They also left after 50 or so Jews died when Iran was sending missiles for two weeks After 2 years of Palestinians dying in the worst way, their entire homes exploding, losing multi generational family members, losing children and babies, starving, having no security or superpower to back them up. They still are not leaving To pretend that Jews are the same as Palestinians in their determination to stay on the land is setting them up for failure. It's a suicide mission to hype them up with false motivation and send them to slaughter. The issue is obvious. You don't know what it means to be indigenous. Lying about religion, ancestral homelands, and fear of European prosecution to steal is not enough to be rooted in land. Only actually being from that land is enough. Which is why one side runs and the other stays Let me guess what you will say next "No, even if the USA stopped defending us we would still stay and fight". Even though you have no facts to back up that statement People die in war all the time. Doesn't mean you can pass that trauma onto another group. If everyone in the world was like the Jews then the Palestinians would have done the same to another country, and that other country would have done the same to another country, and so on. Nobody wants to live in a world like that No, what happened before is completely irrelevant to YOU. Because you think very selfishly and with comedic amounts of bias. Facts matter. Palestinians have paperwork of everything they lost, they remember what villages they are from, they have keys to their homes, have a clear understanding at how the zionist state was formed and who were the accomplices, and have organized lists of all the deceptions and crimes that have been committed against them over 80 years. You guys stole an entire country with trillions of dollars of wealth inside it, kicked out all of the people and forced them to be refugees, then smeared their names to the point where they are considered brutal terrorists, then destabilized their entire region so even the places they got kicked into sucked, and either caged them into or built settlements on the little bit of land they had left. They have been incredibly patient and willing to go the extra mile with Israel

This is truly incredible I somehow found this video on YouTube of a man talking about how he overcame the physical pain of trigeminal neuralgia using large amount of mindfulness/meditation practice. Trigeminal neuralgia is called the “suicide disease” because the pain is so severe it’s known as one of the most, like top two, most painful conditions that exist. It’s rated on McGill pain index higher than for example childbirth I only listened to the video once and it was kinda long so I don’t remember a lot of details of what he said. But basically he studied some of Shinzen Youngs work that talked about how pain + resistance = suffering. That pain is not inherently suffering (what I used to think). And one can learn how to not resist, something like that, and overcome the suffering. The man already was spiritual and did practice, but he added this large amount of mindfulness to the pain and overcame it. He even mentioned doing invasive dental work without needing painkiller due to his mindfulness ability making him not suffer the pain. I don’t know if this man is a genetic freak, he is very stubborn and has discipline which helps him, and his history of already doing spiritual practice helps too. But nonetheless it’s truly remarkable. To think that someone could overcome one of the most severe pain in the world using the mind (or deactivating the mind or whatever you wanna call it) is just incredible. What you guys think? Does this give hope for the many pain sufferers all over the world or is it just something a select few can accomplish because of the amount of determination needed?

suicide has never really been an option for me. it's mostly just a matter of how do i live and tolerate life, how do i survive somehow. it's always just about Life, and that i want life to be good and okay for me, and i don't know how to make that happen. why am i so helpless and weak? Why is this so hard? it's too hard. so hard that the struggle is taking up too much space - not an enjoyable, adventurous amount of space, but it's all one gigantic vacuum of despair and dread and helplessness, of EVERYTHING being affected, nothing being right or easy or simple anymore. it's too much. it's not okay. whoever scripted this: this is not okay! some sense of quest, challenge, adventure may be fun, may indeed be needed in life - but this is too much! it's taking away way too much from the joy and fulfilment and inloveness that i know life should be. i don't even need life to be perfect, i'm okay with some levels of challenge and discomfort. but this is too much, God! it's too much. it's taking up too much room and ruining all the good bits. please just let me live in peace, let me be and let me breathe, for once. for God's sake!

I put myself in the other's shoes To understand a person's energy equation, the meaning of what is being told is not the end, but it is also and above all the form of the message, why it is told rather than kept intimate, and the whole context; this is the path to clairvoyance. For example, for the case of op : 1)The fact that he made a post about it, that it was expressed, shows me that he plays at making a demonstration of power towards the social body. I want people to see me as someone who is more powerful than his libido. And what's behind that is : I want to enjoy seeing others see me and being potentially impressed by my detachment (from my sexual and selfish needs in general). I can feel a bit of that energy from you sometimes when you talk about how (the way) you could commit suicide because of your problems etc btw; When I think about op or this energy in general, I have the vision of very tense people discussing how to deal with this cumbersome little thing called libido (in the sense of drive in general, not just sexual in absolute terms), treated like a kind of child, with professional nods; like two mothers discussing very seriously their child who has such a problem. It's a kind of proud and sacrificial mother archetype. Here I'm going to cheat and move a little away from clairvoyance and towards Freud, but I know that if the mother (plus both parents in general for a girl) is strong enough, defense mechanisms like the threat of castration by the rival parent, or by authorities that have generally prohibited incest, can become very powerful and enjoyable, even if exhausting, due to their ability to keep castration at bay. No one can say I'm a loser or anything if I don't play to win, to have sexual relations (among other things). I don't play; I'm above that, so I win. And what's underneath is : No, I will not be the plaything of mom and dad (especially mom for men and rather both or the father for women, but once again it is very individual) who want me to be a fulfilled man or woman (in this case sexually), it will not happen like that. Playing the game of sexuality would mean accepting being subjected to the game, and I chose not to be subjected to that one in particular because of possibly bad experiences but especially because I understood that my parents fantasize about leaving me satisfied and that gave me the impression of cutting myself off from my freedom. I could do better, but I achieve something like this if I play the clairvoyant a little.