Psychonaut

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    Heidelberg, Germany
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  1. When I take handwritten notes they feel more personal. I have found that I am more likely to actually revisit them compared to written notes. My handwritten notes are more of a drawing/sketch than notes. F.e. When Leo talks about balancing two things I will draw a seesaw with the two items.
  2. @dimitri Good work brother from another mother. Keep on chopping down the trees in the forest. Eventually we'll get there.
  3. Spiritual vomit. Like usual on this forum. The body is a powerful tool, better use it.
  4. 28 is not old. I wouldn't worry about it. My aunt got married at the age of 35. Once other things have lost their meaning, you might see the value in having children. If not then that is also fine.
  5. Peeerrrrrfect. Now see what happens when you drop the center of the universe from the map.
  6. Can you elaborate? The time frame of 45 minutes is mainly from David Deida's books.
  7. I don't know what it is. I am in a club right now, again,.... I believe that women are trash. I continue to reject girls. It's extremely obvious. It is so extreme that I will turn my back towards them until they leave on the dancefloor. It is like something sick inside me is saying "not good enough". A girl has to basically beg me for sex. I want her to beg me, it turns me on more than she does. Most girls don't turn me on visually. I'm not gay either. I would never let a guy dominate me. I don't know what the issue is. I know I don't trust girls because they have no backbone or integrity. I prefer trustable sources of feminine energy, like music or food. Stuff that doesn't abandon me like a dog. A dog will always love me, a women not. I don't want her. The other thing is that I might have an extremely inflated ego, to the point of being narcissistic. I am very good at many things. I can dance, I can cook, I own my shadow, I am comfortable in hell and heaven, im fit to the point that I feel I look better than most girls naked, I know a lot about topics that interest me, I am open minded, it's almost impossible to upset me or control my emotions. I basically feel like I am better at everything than any girl. Maybe I should go get some help. I just don't know what the issue is. It is so easy to replace female energy, that the motivation to invest into girls is really nonexistent.
  8. "Vaping has been scientifically proven to make you gay."
  9. Probably too late, you might have already cum. Try to pull the pelvic floor up. You can practice doing it while masturbating. You can go for 45+ mins, which you need to give the woman a vaginal orgasm.
  10. Brain Daggers What is it, what is real and true, When all I feel and am is you. Or more, it is the lack of you. An unreal split back into two. It is not real, I know it deep down, But it feels so real, I lie facedown. In the hole I have dug, I will drown. My soul weeps, I finally break down. It keeps repeating over and over. My heart is hit and bleeds from exposure. I wanted to show her how to go there, Now its fleeting away going nowhere. 31.1.2019, Version 2
  11. I like that you rhymed a bit. Those lines are my favorite. They have a bit of imagery.
  12. Yeah having sex when the girl doesn't really want it in my experience was never great. How often do you have Sex? Maybe you just have it too often and aren't really horny? I have found that I only "really" want sex about once every one to two weeks.
  13. I think the difference between me and you is that I mainly go to the club to have fun and dance. I don't dance to get in a good mood to approach girls. I dance because it's very enjoyable and I can let go. I am getting more into the habit of talking to random people and most of the time I have positive reactions and interesting conversations. I only do it when I feel like I want to say/ask something. But that is better than nothing. At least I don't have to deal with the pain of "what if" that much anymore. My previous relationships were explosive and short lived. They were initiated by the girl and not me.After a while they realized that I truly didn't care about them or anything else. That was usually the end and the start of playing games on their part, which has no real effect on me. Eventually I ignored them. It's sad to what measures they sometimes go to get a reaction, even if they hurt themselves. I am not 100% sure what I want yet. I have made a list of qualities I am looking for in a girl. The previous ones didn't fit any of the items on the list. I should stop looking past those flaws, instead of being blinded by the "someone likes me feeling".
  14. I only suck in the bedroom. Double meaning is intentional
  15. I agree people take spiral dynamics too seriously on the forum.