Psychonaut

For me the best Linux experience actually has been MacOS. About 15 years ago I was running Ubuntu with the 3D Desktop Cube and heavily modded. It was fun. I am not a Apple guy by any stretch and I dislike iOS and iPadOS. But there is something about a MacBook that just feels really nice when using it. It's very intuitive for me and I get in the flow easier. It's also nice to just have a Linux like terminal experience with all the command line tools I am used to. For me it's the dream OS, it works reliably, doesn't crash, doesn't bother me with useless updates. It's a true productivity machine.

MXPCP is like a cleaning crew for me. It just takes out the trash. Wonderful experience once again. Purge purge purge. Love love love. Be be be. Ez ez ez. It feels like a hug from God.

I have been meditating for years and have also had some Samadhi like experiences after 4-5 hrs of meditation. But no way you will reach anywhere close to a high dose 5-Meo-DMT trip. My last two trips were both 80mg and they have completely rewired my brain.

Over the years I have found that I don't like talking about psychedelics with people that haven't used them. It is always the same arguments, fears and limiting beliefs. Also in spiritual circles I get the impression that progress made by psychedelics is frowned upon as cheating or not real progress. But it is just their ego's fear of total dissolutionment speaking. However if someone already has experience with psychedelics and is an avid user the convos can be quite interesting. What are your guys experiences?

But Leo...

I have experience with Olanzapine. It was "forced/given" to me in the psychiatry. I stopped taking it as soon as I got out of the closed ward. I had to play along for a bit, otherwise they would have never let me out. They had a court order that allowed them to force me to take drugs and also allowed them to restrain me against my will. They could have done anything to me. This is Germany btw. Don't go crazy here, you will use all your rights as a human being. They gave Olanzapine to get the dopamine down so that I would fall asleep. It put me to sleep, but it was not a restful sleep. I hated it, because it felt like someone was trying to push the "OFF" knob from the outside. In my eyes all these medications have so many side effects and the doctors, inventors, pharmacies and the entire system has no idea what they are doing. They are playing with fire. "Hey we got the dopamine down, but we broke 50 other things in the process". Approved. This is my personal opinion based on one drug that was given to me while conscious and a bunch of stuff that was IM'ed to me when I was unreachable "for them".

I suffered AI induced psychosis way before it even was a term. It happened in March of 2024. I was using ChatGPT so heavily, also through the API and writing scripts. Trying out every framework under the sun for automation and using agents before they even were a real thing. I adapted my speech and especially my written chat speech so much that I didn't even bother writing to real people properly anymore. I would abbreviate my texts and use symbols to shorten stuff. I didn't bother explaining to people what the symbols meant (because they were too stupid in my eyes - peak psychosis). I ended up in a psych ward, but never was treated for the actual problem. I only realized a few weeks ago when the term AI induced psychosis was coined, that what I experienced was exactly that. Everything got faster and faster. My brain wasn't able to keep up anymore. The information flood just made me break down. This is the first time I am talking about this and actually admitting to myself that this happened to me is quite freeing. I still use Gemini quite heavily, it gives quite "profound" answers some times.

My last trips felt like this: No words.

Who is understanding?

I am a high dose psychedelics user. For me I would go up to 60 - 65mg before giving up. I took 5-meo years ago and broke through on 50mg or so. Now the experiences are very different. No purging, no fear, no desires but also nothing really that I would classify as a real breakthrough. I am currently also at about 50mg. If you have something that can already switch of your mind a little bit. Like some dissociative maybe. That might help. 5-meo-dmt can easily be combined with other psychedelics. You could do a LSD trip and prepare 2-3 syringes of 5-meo-dmt and just take it on the trip. Just don't force it. I tried to force it years ago and traumatized myself. Always do everything with self love and care. Maybe you also just need a few more trips to prepare the body. Seeing your friends breakthrough is just your ego wanting that experience. Relax it. You will get there. Relax and just try with love. Eventually it'll work.

MXPCP for me works on the level of energy body. Or it somehow disconnects something that I can go into the energy field. It guides me very strongly to either put my hand on my stomach, my heart, to chant, to do a headstand or different Kriyas. It is also possible that it just releases the Kundalini energy for me and that is why I feel so much energy. 2-FDCK is in the mind. They are completely different.

I ended up filling the syringe with 80mg but splitting the doses volumetrically. So first I did about 0.3ml (~20-30mg) on the peak of a high dose MXPCP trip (120mg) and then later I did the rest 0.6ml (~50-60mg). The two doses worked well.

Psychologically?

I am getting that I should take 80mg of 5-meo-dmt. I don't feel like it's ego or a desire to take a large amount to prove to myself something. I have previously taken 50mg. I am not sure what peoples doses are atm, but I mean it can't kill me, right? Well nothing that is important to begin with.

I don't have access to Ketamine, I just have 1-FDCK. I plugged 86mg earlier today to compare both of them. I'll just refer to 1-FDCK as Ketamine. They are close enough. Ketamine and MXPCP are completely different. Ketamine is more in the head. The disconnection can happen in the head. One can think clearly on it. Not that many thoughts arise as on a thought producing substance like acid. But one could contemplate questions. MXPCP for me has nothing to do with thinking. It is just feeling. For me it works on "the energy body". What I do is intuitive. If I meditate on it. I do. I don't think about it. My energy system is transforming a lot at the moment. Substances affect me differently. For example I had sex with a girl today and at times it felt like I was tripping. It was so out of this world. I ejaculated in a dream a few days ago. It was extremely painful, as if I was being ripped apart. Before that I haven't ejaculated in almost 4 months and today I consciously chose to. It was nice, but in retrospect actually it was a little painful. MXPCP is a happening just like 5-MeO-DMT. Ketamine is an ego/mind drug. It's a toy. MXPCP wipes the floor. At least for me. A clean slate. It's all I ever wanted. To be loved just the way I am. Nothing more. Nothing less. I don't know what it is. But it's pure gold. For me. It's my gold. Maybe everyone has their substance? Their key?