Rishabh R

@TheGod I have also been chasing illusion by thinking that getting a relationship would fulfill me but the reality is that it won't. Even though I never had a relationship but there have been many receptive women in my life. Btw , great post.

@Schizophonia I disagree with you as this forum can be seen from a different perspective such as growth fostering forum. There is a reason that this forum is called Actualized.org self-improvement forum. Even though there are certain limited negative stuff in the forum but majority of advice exchanged here is good. As per @Leo Gura how could you know that he is not sociable and neurotic despite not knowing him as a person. You are making assumptions about him. That proves his point that nobody cares about truth but rather we care about our assumptions about truth. The point is to question those assumptions and before that we must ground ourselves in not-knowing.

I watched this video and it is based on a lesson from Mark Manson's book Subtle Art of not giving a ----. When I tried to accept the message while reading the book it felt bad at first but later it felt good as stated by Mark. From my perspective -The video is very accurate description of human condition.

I also learned that romantic rejection is saviour from a wrong person in life. I used to be jealous of my batchmates dating beautiful girls but when I saw that they broke up frequently and the girls move on to other guys I realised the above lesson. I saw it happening with multiple people.

Yeah absolutely.

@Princess Arabia Ok. Thanks for the nuanced reply.

I have never had a relationship in my life but found many receptive girls and hope that I will find more in the future. From exploring dating I learnt a hard lesson : Getting hurt and angry by focussing on unreceptive girls is useless which gets you nowhere. Rather focussing on receptive girls and interacting with them is the biggest reward you can give yourself in the realm of dating.

Ok thanks.

How to approach a girl whom you genuinely like and how to know weather she is single without asking explicitly? Otherwise you would land in trouble by approaching a girl who is already in a relationship. Is scanning for pre-approach signals the solution ?

@Husseinisdoingfine Seeing you gives me hope that life can improve no matter how bad it is even though I don't think that my life is bad.

@Razard86 Absolutely. How people interact with you is based on what they think about you. I used to be angry when people act in such and such way and that's because I hold a concept of how others are in my head. However, with thing such as disrespect one must stop caring about people's action so that one is unshaken by good and bad behaviour maintaining their poise/grounded ess.

I also fell into the trap of limerence in the past. But when I realize that I don't actually like her but the idea of her and applying the principle that only pursuing a girl whom I like I found another girl who was receptive to me.

@Schizophonia and @Sugarcoat I used to suffer for not having a relationship back then in college when people around me were in relationships and girls were choosing dumb players and there is still some part of me that suffers for it but it has been lessened. But as said suffering is the greatest teacher. It taught me to embrace negative emotions. As per girls choosing stupid guys remember that most of those relationships eventually fall apart. @Schizophonia what's best is to find girls who are receptive to you and it's a reality. While majority of girls won't like you , few will .

I remember that when I was contemplating- How do I get a girlfriend ? All I got were the insights - By realizing that it doesn't matter. By not trying to get a girlfriend. By realizing that girlfriend won't make my life easier or happier By realizing that it is impossible for me to not find someone in life By realizing that receptive girls are better to date than non-receptive girls By not making it a huge deal By moving forward after rejection and realizing that no matter how much I am rejected there will be receptive girls By not chasing girls who show signs of dis interest By picking up on receptiveness signals and acting on them

To frame the way this thread is framed is very damaging for both genders.Why not view both genders as worthy equals even though interests might differ for different individual in the same gender.