meta_male

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Posts posted by meta_male

  1. Posted

    Thank you every single one of you for your insights and especially to those offering to talk, I was really moved by all your posts 🙏

    I'm now off work due to burnout and depression, at least two weeks, maybe longer. Finances are still a big problem but at least I got the time to plan the next steps right now. Also, my doctor gave me meds and is trying to find a licensed therapist for me but it will take a while cause they got long waiting lists. For now I got my IFS practitioner and a couple friends to talk. It really feels like I'm at level -1000, it's hard to just get to level 0, meditation flies out the window when you're at the mercy of fear @NoSelfSelf.

  3. Posted

    57 minutes ago, ZenAlex said:

    May I ask what you've done to try and get better? Do you really believe you've exhausted all of your options.

    I keep exhausting all options available, money becomes a big problem now. I've been doing IFS therapy for a year. I always end up in situations I gotta get myself out again. I was raised in a cult similar to JW, 7 years ago I got out, always gotta go against everyone around me, nobody can relate. Now found out I have Asperger's, nobody gets that either. I'm building social circles, they fall apart. I'm building relationships, they fall apart and I end up a mess, then come months of building myself up again. Nobody seems to go through crises in real life, I'm always the odd one out. I can't relate to anyone.

    47 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

    You can't survive alone in the wild, so you find yourself in survival mode and you want to ruminate, to be small, you expect disappointing situations...

    I am working my ass off to be social and I am, but what for? I can't relate to anyone, I've been in so many different social settings and groups, I'm open minded af but it's like I'm born on the wrong planet. Still, I keep being social, it's just not doing anything for me it seems. Also people around me get depressed when I start being open to them, they don't wanna hear it. When I think back the past ten years I've been happy 2-3 times for a max. of two weeks, the rest is just depression always looming in the background.

    52 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

    You're decent dude, put your photo back. :)

    Thanks man but it's like I can't show myself to the world rn, my confidence left me once again. I keep building it up then depression sneaks back in, always one level worse than before. My looks aren't the problem really.

    55 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

    For panic attacks you need to see a psychiatrist.

    Yeah I'm trying to get to see one. I spent all fucking morning just to get an appointment at my doctor's. It's like my life is on advanced mode whatever I'm trying to achieve, even if it's just getting something as small as an appointment, it's so not worth it.

  4. Posted

    After severe episodes of panic attacks I am now suicidal, last weekend I went to the forest with my gun, but couldn't pull through. The past decade have been a big struggle, only to barely stay alive. There's no hope of life ever getting better. I have no family to turn to. I need help but don't know how to get it, I feel paralyzed but can barely acces my brain.

  5. Posted

    I'm really not sure 'll get through this one. It's too much to take, more like constant downward battle. Is it normal to only ever enjoy like a couple days a year, the rest is just a struggle that's getting worse every day. I also just found out I probably have Asperger's, final nail in the coffin. I don't know what I want or need except for emotional connection with someone, someone who fucking understands. But I get I'm not safe and nobody wants that. There's literally nothing worth living for, I don't know if I'm posting again. Love you guys.

  10. Posted · Edited by meta_male

    22 hours ago, StarStruck said:

    I hear this a lot and the moment I hear it I feel insulted. I want to be the bad boy. Not the good boy. That is why I’m following Andrew Tate but yesterday it was on again. I got to hear the words again “you are a good boy”. 😭

    They're just teasing. You care too much to be a bad boy. Don't worry about the content that comes out of girl's mouths.

  13. Posted

    @LittoDitto I've been holding off therapy for a really long time. It's amazing how much one can take before it becomes unbearable. Not to scare you, but if you keep waiting – more likely than not – it's only getting worse. Make sure you get help, doing your own research can only do so much. I know what it's like to have therapy on the to-do list, the perfect time to get started will never come, so start by taking miniature steps towards it.

    IFS is what I can recommend, it's a powerful tool to help you heal trauma. Just look up some therapists, check out their website and note them down, some do online sessions too, so you're not necessarily bound by your location (although I recommend seeing them in person if possible).

    Next step you call, email or text them to give them a short overview about your situation. They'll guide you through it from there, so all you gotta do is make contact. Let the world know you're in need of help.

    https://www.actualized.org/insights/ifs-therapy-for-trauma-healing

    https://ifs-institute.com/practitioners

  22. Posted

    14 hours ago, Boris97921234 said:

    Many of the attractive single girls I talked to on the street, I feel, their priority should be getting their finances in order, understanding their emotions, or building social connections.

    Have you walked in their shoes? Empathy goes a long way in your career.

  23. Posted

    Age is literally just the number of years you spent on this planet, not much more behind it really. People age at different rates, in reality my body is only like 12. If your life has been very repetitive and boring the past years you're bound to feel old cause you lack energy.

    Depending on your surroundings or activities your sense of age can change from feeling old to feeling young again btw, so nothing has been lost.

  24. Posted

    30 minutes ago, evgn said:

    I will be honest with you, the only interaction that i have had with her is say hi.. I know its wrong but i did it because i thought that she has very high interest..

    No such thing as right or wrong. Just get to know her in person a bit, then invite her out for a drink. No need to worry about social media this way.