meta_male

@Miguel1 I agree. There’s also something I’ve been wondering about: what’s left to do when you’ve asked for advice, genuinely tried different things but nothing seems to help? I’ve had friends show me a lot of love and support during some very distressing times and I’m grateful for that. But their advice still wasn’t helpful. The forum wasn’t helpful either, and neither was therapy. Sometimes I wonder what you’re supposed to do when you’ve reached that point. I wish you the best of luck.

@Miguel1 There's bound to be drama in relationships, but you know that. Without it, no intimacy. I do get your frustration, for what it's worth. “Words are windows, or they’re walls, They sentence us, or set us free.” It's in your control. Bro, take a break. Just chill and do some solo camping, honestly. All your questions don't need to be answered today.

@Olaf That's a bit of a stretch. You can have standards but you're bound to be with someone who isn't perfect, if you date humans.

@Miguel1 My first reply here was very short but it touches on what others pointed out too: The way it comes across to me is that you’re frustrated with “normies” and with the compromises involved in "normal" dating. But at the same time, you’re still very much a human being participating in the same human world. So I wonder whether defining yourself against “normies” is actually moving you away from unity and toward separateness, or even into avoidance. Which is basically a given if you keep dating and sleeping around with more and more women, you end up burnt out. You seem very burnt out at this point, and maybe taking a break could be beneficial without having to decide that you’re done with dating forever. Personally, I'm more curious about what exactly you think you would have to compromise in a relationship, if that's even a possibility for you? Also, I don’t think you’ll ever find someone who is not bullshitting themselves at some point, that’s just part of being human. You do it too, and so do I, and so does Leo and everyone else on this forum, no matter how spiritual or "conscious" they think they are. So I’m curious where you draw the line between accepting a girl’s humanity and compromising something fundamental in yourself. Are you yourself easy to be around in a relationship? There is no single human being out there who is going to be exactly like you, so what are you willing to compromise? It seems as if your standard is be so high that it becomes impossible for anyone to meet at this point.

Toyota Yallaris

The new Land Cruiser looks okayish. But their cars are designed for Asian eyes.

Can't go wrong with either Honda or Toyota, they are long lasting, relatively cheap cars. If you want a reliable engine get a Diesel. Personally, I've been a fan of the BMW 2-liter engines if you wanna spend a little more. Fuel-efficient and oil change every two years.

I'd argue it's a high consciousness vs. "normie" problem. Constantly getting mistmatches will definitely burn you out, I'm at this point too.

Basically a gentleman.

I've noticed people put in more effort to go out and make new friends, which in my country is definitely a big shift since people liked to keep to themselves and their established friend groups.

1st soul mates, deep, heartbreaking 2nd chill, fun times 3rd absolutely crazy in the worst way 4th ego games 5th spiritual, chaotic, triggering 6th calm, chill, fun

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This is framed backwards. What you're describing as fear of loss is a consequence of having self-respect. If you're okay with walking away from someone who isn't reciprocating you don't need to instill the "fear of the Lord" in someon. Ironically, that can create the exact dynamic you're describing. Once you're thinking how to make her afraid of losing you, you've already lost.

@Miguel1 I only blocked one girl and deleted her number cause I wanted her out of my life and not be tempted to reach out for several reasons, I didn't find it necessary for the others. Every now and then, there might be a text several months later, it never really hurt to leave the door open. I do wonder what they're up to and how they've been, especially since we did share genuinely intimate and meaningful moments together. As for photos, I kept most of them cause they're attached to good memories. But I’ll admit that sometimes it does hurt to look through them. I can be quite emotional about that kind of stuff... especially, because in some way I still love them deeply. Btw, I'm sorry to hear about the breakup, mate.

I agree

Deal. Here's a pickup lemon 🍋 Sorry, I ran out of pickup limes.

Goddamn! 😭 this was so cringe I died of secondhand shame for our neighbors. This is why we keep our borders closed.

I see your point. But you can talk to someone or drop a comment simply because you find them interesting. The idea that you have to constantly approach everyone is very pickup-community mindset because it's built on fear and lack. It treats human connection like a limited resource. You don't have to do all the heavy lifting yourself. If you are comfortable and enjoying yourself people...including women, will naturally approach you. Or at least make it very easy for you to talk to them.

Don't-give-a-fuck energy is about being detached from outcome. If you get removed from bars it means you are socially disruptive. You don't need to put on a mask to have personality or ask random women what behavior they prefer, that's pure nice guy energy. Be your natural self, don't care about outcome, be fine without "results".

You lose attraction because it signals a total lack of grounding. When you go that deep on a first date you just look completely disconnected from society. They aren't scared cause it's too deep for them but because it makes you look wacky and out of touch. Keep it grounded. Personally, I also lose attraction instantly when a girl brings up heavy spiritual things. You should be able to connect with someone without bringing up esoteric/spiritual topics, that stuff is very personal anyways.

I agree they’re harmful. People are more educated about cults than they are about false cult accusation cases. That’s why I think open discussion is so important.

@Leo Gura As someone who grew up in a cult, I don't think this helps your case. I understand you want respectful discussion but banning the label is going to make people who are undecided more suspicious. It would be healthier to address the concerns people raise and discuss the nuances of why Actualized could or could not be considered cult-like.

If you feel like you’re just forcing yourself into stuff you don't like, that’s probably more of a mismatch rather than what relationships are like.

You aren't really interested in them, you just want a date cause you think she's a 10/10, you put her on a pedestal and then you freeze. People will mirror this belief. Come up with a better story about yourself