NatureB

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Posts posted by NatureB

  4. Posted

    Hi guys! I am learning to use photoshop and I thought a great way to gove back to this community would be to edit your profile pics free of charge :) I watched RSD Jeffy's "Execute The Program" online dating program a while back and only now am I getting into the photo editing stuff for myself.

    I can edit out bright lights or red color in the eyes, make your teeth look a little whiter (not unnaturally so), remove blemishes, adjust the lighting for optimal "pop" factor, and much more.

    If you are interested, DM me some pictures! We don't have to share them publicly. This is a good way for me to get experience and for y'all to have an easier time getting laid #)

  5. Posted

    Update: Andrew Yang had 1,000 volunteers sign up within 24 hours of his mayoral run announcement. I might fly out to NYC for a week in the Spring time to volunteer as well.

     

    @aurum Would you say that society and individuals within society needed to learn the lesson that merely focusing on survival needs doesn't help us all thrive before we could focus on higher needs such as art, beauty, spiritual needs? And that we needed to fully exercise our individualism before we could snap back into a community focus? I can see that in my personal life and extrapolate it to a higher level, personally.

  8. Posted

    @Lyubov Lmao someone was going to bring that up!

    @aurum Every once in a while Yang will post or retweet UBI results on Twitter. One you might like is that stress levels went down 78% subjectively for participants in one UBI trial (forgot which one). The person who tweeted it, I believe Scott Santens, captioned it with something like "imagine 78% subjective stress reduction on a society scale." That's the power of UBI, and I trust Yang to fill in the missing pieces as things progress. I believe that if NYC passes some longer term UBI legislation then we will see that ripple across the U.S. within a decade.

    @Forestluv I didn't know you liked Yang! Glad to have mod support haha. The measures you mentioned have all been documented as having positive improvements in other UBI trials. I will link a tweet below.

  9. Posted

    Andrew Yang has officially announced his 2021 run to be the Mayor of New York City. It looks like he has a good shot! De Blasio cannot run again due to term limits, and Yang has so much name recognition from his 2020 presidential run and his non-profit Humanity Forward that he actually polled at 20% BEFORE he announced that he was running, 6% higher than the next best candidate.

    Yang's platform is to improve the city transit system and get electric buses operating by 2030, kill poverty by enacting the largest UBI experiment ever in the U.S., giving half of a million of the poorest NYC inhabitants up to $2,000. He wants to get the last 29% of New Yorkers to have high-speed internet, which is essential if kids are to be home schooled. Lastly, he wants everybody in NYC to have a bank account.

    He also talks about the Capitol Hill riots and some other recent politics in this short clip.

  10. Posted

    @Advocate I tried getting my gma to do mushrooms in the past. She was afraid because I told her it helps people accept death, by which I only meant get over some of the fear. She thought I meant that people want to die after taking mushrooms, like I was trying to kill her lmao.

    After seeing me she said "I had no idea that's what it looked like!" I think she's open to it now haha. But I'm not pushing her to do them at all.

  12. Posted

    I woke up yesterday and ate 9g of mushrooms mixed into some yogurt. It was going to be my last time doing mushrooms but I had such a blast that I may reconsider. Once I started feeling some of the effects I kept telling myself to relax and let go. Let whatever happens happen. I didn't want to resist it. 

    Then I got the urge to pee so I went to the restroom. Inside the restroom I was dreading going back to my room to be alone, so I went to my grandma's room to hangout with her. What a surprise that must have been! I was high out of my fucking mind and at one point I kept celebrating Nelson Mandela's freedom from prison after 27 years lol. I was literally screaming at the top of lungs about this hahaha. My little cousins were scared and intrigued and I couldn't keep a straight thought in my mind, I kept bouncing back and forth, starting something and forgetting what I was talking about halfway through. 

    My eyes kept watering involuntarily. I felt hot tears running down the sides of my face as I laid down on my grandma's carpet. I think there was a lot of anger and pride in those tears. I remember a voice telling me that I don't need to try to understand my emotions any longer, I just need to accept them and feel through them. Grandma was watching the news and I was consciously aware of how the news programs people. You have to consciously challenge the beliefs that the news will give you.

    I was thinking about an ex of mine a lot from 7 years ago, who I still am not completely over for whatever reason. I've dated tons of girls since her, but there is still a lot of emotion around her, such as regret and lust. I think that if I meditate on these feelings consciously I can really get over her.

    I also had a huge insight about my step-brother. My father's father's father was an Italian who must have made the voyage to New York City in the early 1900s. Then he had my grandpa Dominic who was a cop. What a fucking stressful job, being a cop in NYC in the 60s. Plus he had 7 kids, which means his life was a constant grind. He treated my dad like shit because he was always stressed out, and then my dad grew up with a negative self-image. He passed that along to my step-brother, treating him how he was treated by his father. On top of that my step-brother was molested by his older step-brother from a different dad. Then when my step-brother lived with us I always felt a weird, sexual, creepy energy from him. He would be inappropriately touchy and it felt like he couldn't help himself. I remember he would make jokes about masturbation and it would make me uncomfortable. This must be one reason why I have an aversion to sexuality! I am going to bring this up with my therapist as well. In the moment that this all ocurred to me it just felt like I "knew" and I could see all of the puzzle pieces line up. I wish that I wrote it down when it occurred, because it was gold.

    In terms of spiritual type insights, My vision was out of this world! I could see things before they happened. I kept having the sensation of moving before I actually made the decision to move. For example, I would be thinking about opening a door as I sat on the floor, and at the exact same time I was standing up and opening the door. It was trippy, I was in both places at the same time. I was trying to explain to my grandma how everything has already happened, and I could see that I had no free will. My attempts to understand reality were already decided by reality. It was like everything was already determined, and I could do nothing to change it or alter it. It was like all possibilities exist at all times, including the past, present, future. This is another thing that I wish I wrote down while it was occurring, because a lot of it has been lost.

    My eyes were fucking gigantic. I've never seen myself like that. My face looked wider than normal to me, and for some reason all of my skin felt soft and malleable. I was able to melt into my bed like no other time in my life. I felt like a big pile of goop. I watched Eric Andre's Netflix special "Legalize Everything" and I have never laughed harder. I recommend it!

    Lastly, I was having insights about how much I don't care about other people. I see people as burden's and obstacles. My family for example, I just want them to support me and not have an attitude. I was in my bed for about 3 hours during the middle of the day thinking about my family and my coworkers, and I was feeling so resentful. Then I went out to sit with my family and I couldn't help but cry. I felt so guilty for thinking that way about them. I want to value them more. One practical thing that I am taking from this is to be more concerned with other people. It isn't all just about me and what I want. I want to give my family hugs more often :)

    I wanted to quit my job so fucking bad yesterday! But instead of texting my manager that I quit, I knew it was just the heat of the moment. I feel much better today, and I want to use this week before I go back to work to really think about what my next step in life is. I am 24.5 and I want to have another stream of income, something that can grow and change into freelance work and that pays, maybe something creative. I want to move out of my moms house and support myself. I was feeling like everything is futile yesterday, I am already too old, I've wasted my life, I don't have any skills, etc. But I can see now that I just need to start and be committed. I can do this stuff.

     

  13. Posted

    I was in Atlanta in early December knocking doors for the Ossoff/Warnock campaigns. 95% of people in Atlanta are voting blue it seems like. Just have to worry about getting the rural vote, which skews red. We'll know better how 2021 will play out politically as soon as we get these results!

    There is a statistic that shows 94% of incumbents win re-runs for office. Let's hope we upset this!

  14. Posted

    I whole heartedly recommend Andrew Yang's podcast YangSpeaks. I see him as having Yellow stage values (from a SD perspective). He was named Time Magazines Most Influential Person in 2020 for his run for president and progressing his flagship proposal UBI, Universal Basic Income.

    Read the books on Leo's book list about politics. The Chomsky one is mentally liberating and insightful. I understand the world so much more after that sibgle book.

    Do some activism and find the one cause you love the most. Good luck!

  17. Posted

    18 minutes ago, aklacor727 said:

    My need is to have space and not feel pressure whatsoever regards to sex until I get to a certain place emotionally. To feel authentic in my actions and not ignore my feelings. His desires conflict with that.  I understand of course that sex is a fundamental need and I want to be able to get to that place. He has been somewhat accepting and patient but it affects him.

    We have a complicated past, but without going into the nuances of all of that, I need this time to be able to get to a certain place emotionally to where we can have a sustainable long term future. My hopes is that I can there but in the meantime I want to handle things in the best way in regards to his side of things.

    @aklacor727 I think I have been in your boyfriend's situation before as well. That of wanting sex from an unwilling/unready partner. What would have helped me is communication. Maybe you can tell him up front how you feel and why, and ask him to accept you as you are. In my case, the girl I wanted sex with finally revealed that she has trouble with sex because in her only prior experience the guy was being overly aggressive, to a point that it scared and traumatized her. I wish she told me this upfront because it would have led me to take her "rejections" less seriously and more compassionately. So that's my advice - talk to him early and often. If you need good books for this I'd recommend The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman. 

    And props to you for taking the time to heal yourself emotionally. I am on that same boat and it just gets better and better every week. I feel like my next relationship will last and be healthy. Keep going (and keep us updated :) )

     

  18. Posted · Edited by NatureB

    I have been friends with these two guys for 12 years, since we were in 7th grade together. Their names are Wyatt and Edgar.

    I have trouble relating to Wyatt and Edgar nowadays because our paths have been so different. I have been into game, reading, personal development, meditation, the rest of it for at least 4 years now, while they have not. They have had girlfriends during this time so they were comfortable, but I only had short lived relationships which made me hungry to develop myself. I can't relate to them smoking weed every day or whatever else it is that they do, nor do I want to. I suspect that I am friends with them out of habit and some comfort.

    Wyatt recently invited me to go snowboarding with him this snow season, and I want to decline. I want to say no in a straightforward manner and not avoid the fact that I am consciously distancing myself from him and Edgar in an effort to let the relationship fade to nothing.

    My Question: How can I say without leading to unnecessary hard feelings while also being precise? I just want to say "Hey man, I appreciate the invite but I wanted to tell you that I have not been enjoying our friendship for a while now. I don't feel completely connected and I even have troubles being my whole self around you. I will have to decline, and I want to say that I think it is time for each of us to make different friends. We have been on different paths for a long time now and there are better fits for each of us in the world if we care to find them. I love you and I will see you around here and there."

    Or should I tell him in person and see what happens? "The truth hurts and then it sets you" free kinda thing. I imagine that would renew our friendship but I don't want that.

    TL;DR Not feeling very excited about a long term friendship, how to cut it off or limit it in a nice, firm way so I can move on with my social life and make new friends?

  19. Posted

    @The_Alchemist

    I first reacted with a mix of low level panic and some relief. I was going to quit my job and then the pandemic happened. I've since returned to my job and feel better about it. I attribute this to all of the meditation I did during the 12 weeks I was not working. 

    I used my time to have maybe 8 acid or mushroom trips, read books, travel twice to new cities, sit at coffee shops. If I could do it over again I would have read way more and done even more meditation. Oh yeah, I also got a therapist and have been in therapy since July. So this time has been reasonably well-spent.

    Emotionally I tried to stay updated and rational about it. My family is so fortunate in that none of us really lost their jobs, except for my short time away from work before being called back. 

    What are your responses to these questions?

  20. Posted

    Hi everyone :) I have been having troubles in my relationship with my assistant manager Misha at work. We work together in a juice bar along with two other managers and one other employee. I get along pretty well with my two male managers, but with Misha, the assistant manager, I have a rocky relationship. It is like love-hate to a degree. The female coworker who has the same title as me, we get along decently well. But with Misha I get very stiff and nervous. She is beautiful and attractive and all that but I don't necessarily want her. I think these feelings come from something else.

    My motivation for healing the things she triggers in me is that I know I will have to heal them eventually, and I don't want to have these same things popping up in my future romantic relationships. I think Misha reminds me of my mother in certain ways such as always talking about drama, staying on her phone, emotionally controlled lifestyle, etc. I have even talked about this with my therapist and she is almost exactly like my mom.

    This is a good opportunity for me to heal some things and not carry them forward. I spend at least 12 hours per week with Misha, so I can count on being triggered that much.

     

    I guess my question isn't really a question, I just need some empathy and validation. Have any of us been through something similar to this before? What was your experience? Thanks!

  22. Posted

    Hey guys, I am contemplating moving to a new city next year when Covid hopefully gets resolved. I want to move to a new city so I can experience what that is like and the personal growth that comes with it. I was born and live in Las Vegas, NV. Locals call it the 'smallest big city' because you are constantly running into people you know. This is another reason I want to leave - it will force me to meet new people, make new friends, and maybe meet my first partner as a conscious adult.

    In this spirit, I'd like to know what your experience has been moving out of your hometown and away from family. I imagine it will be somewhere between one of the best life decisions you've made and somewhat lackluster. All feedback is highly appreciated!!

  24. Posted

    Keep learning about the world, through first hand experience. And find a purpose.

    Leave your job and do something you love. You don't really care about your coworkers. That's just a story your mind tells you to keep you in place. And let go of feeling responsible for the emotions that others have.

    Get new friends and forget the old ones. They suck and you're different now.

    Move to a new city :)