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Everything posted by NatureB

  1. Talk to local biz owners. They will have insight. If you must hire a tax expert, see if they are willing to work for a fraction until your business takes off, sort of like a loan to be payed back at a later date. Best of luck to ya!
  2. When I take a cold shower, which I never want to do, I tell myself "just this one time, and tomorrow I can take a hot, steamy shower." I end up taking a cold shower every day
  3. Don't try to get a job. Try to get 10 jobs, and pick the best one. That's the best mindset for getting a job, if you just want any job.
  4. Shapiro hates "Imagine" by John Lennon. How much worse can you get? Haha
  5. Neil Strauss and Ingrid de La O seem to have a successful relationship with a lot of love, The yoga instructor Adriene Mishler on YouTube as "Yoga with Adriene" seems to be happy and positive, and I can't imagine her having a toxic relationship at all. Leo also said in his video about having a vision for what the actualized life can look like for you is that you can have a highly conscious relationship with almost no fighting and no drama, if you only do the work on yourself and read the best books. Leo has a couple good books about this topic on his book list. The Truth by Neil Strauss one from my personal library that I would recommend (it isn't on Leo's list though.) 1. I don't think highly successful couples get attached to the label they use if they decide to use one. 2. I believe people who were raised to be securely attached to their parents can have a successful relationship with no problems. Other people need to work out their attachment issues and learn healthy ways of relating, showing their needs, being vulnerable, etc.
  6. Something practical you can do is journal to see what exactly about this situation and your mom triggers you, and then write about how you have that same circumstance or personal trait/characteristic in your life. If you think your mom is undisciplined, ask how am I undisciplined? Teal Swan has a great video about projection that you can look up. Her process is this: 1. How is it good for this person to be this way? 2. Why might it be bad for them to be the opposite way? 3. How is it good for me to be the opposite way? 4. Why might it be bad or bring me pain to be that way? This gives you compassion for the other persons situation, and shows you where you need to work on yourself
  7. You can do light preparation through journaling and seeing where these feelings of loyalty come from. Do you want to avoid the embarrassment you might feel switching your style of interacting with him? Do you feel responsible for his feelings in some way? Are you afraid that he will become angry at you? Only you can know what your real fears and feelings are about this situation, but you have to look for them.
  8. We can only advise you so much. Find a way to afford therapy and go regularly. Read books outside of therapy like those on Leo's book list, and develop a strong yoga or meditation practice. I recommend yoga because it tones the body which makes you more attractive and makes you feel better about yourself, and you can do it at home with free programs on YouTube. Even if you don't get a therapist, take your healing into your own hands. You need to develop a strong conceptual framework through reading high quality books. That will teach you where to put your focus and what questions to ask to get the best answers and results in life. Realize that you cannot heal overnight, because you didn't get fragmented overnight. This will take time. If you do a little bit more work on yourself each day, that is good and that is enough. Do your best and let the chips fall where they may.
  9. It is often times easier to fight a monster when you know the name of it and can see its face. It is a little unnerving to be up against an invisible and nameless opponent. Try to reassure yourself that there is a reason for these feelings though you may not know what that reason is at this moment. And see if you can let go of emotions about your emotions. For example, fear that you are angry. In this example, let go of the fear and then the anger. That will make things flow much smoother. If you can take a complex of emotions and slowly tease it apart by letting go of smaller emotions one at a time, you can more effectively and efficiently work through the whole complex. I will use an example from my life. In thinking about leaving my job, I get a big knot of emotions in my chest and stomach. Instead of trying to release the whole thing at once and feeling ineffective, I can first let go of small things around the periphery such as missing my old coworkers, missing the drive to work, fearing the uncertainty of getting a new job, etc. Much luck to you.
  10. Thanks for sharing your experiences @intotheblack. It took a long time for these triggers to develop and grow inside of you, so be compassionate and patient with yourself as you work through them. It will take a few years at minimum to fully let go of them and integrate them in my opinion/experience. In my personal experience, working with a therapist has been transformational. Don't be cheap with your therapist and find a good one with whom you feel a connection. I've been able to see my childhood from different angles and recall different memories through my work with my therapist. He has also helped me get clarity on what patterns I act out unconsciously and see my family dynamics with a high degree of clarity and non-reactivity, and a good therapist can help you do the same and more. Boundaries and communication will help in these and all other situations. Changing your circumstances helps as well, i.e. getting away from the person who is triggering you, but also realize that life gives you what you need. Life put this person in front of you to trigger these old feelings so that you can heal and integrate them. And life will keep giving you people that trigger you until you finally get the message and heal these aspects of yourself. Note that this does not mean to accept continued abuse. That is what boundaries are for - to keep the good in and keep the bad out.
  11. Journaling and feeling the feelings help me. Ask yourself what you feel shame about and make a list, then go through that list and work on each item using meditation or another pracitice. Sharing with your therapist will help as well, if you have one. Someone recommended John Bradshaw and I second that recommendation. I don't recommend Brene Brown since her books are not very practical, and she can take a liberal amount of pages to make a small point.
  12. Can't wait to watch this whole thing. In Leo's critique he said he probably gamed for 1,000 hours. This guy has gamed for probably 10,000 hours. Right off the bat he is correct. "Fucking ten other girls" to get over your ex is so toxic and misguided.
  13. Dude tysm for this post. It feels like this was on the edge of my mind, and seeing you out it into words really helped it click for me. Yes, I actually don't want a girlfriend right now. I'd rather work on my ONE Thing, my life purpose and values and gials than get a girlfriend. Again thank you SO much OP!!
  14. I experience something similar with people at work. Finding the associated memory and letting the feelings go will help. For big events like bullying I recommend writing out what happened in detail and feeling all of the feelings until they dissipate. Another thing is to see if this pattern shows up with your brother if you have one, or in your family somewhere. Best of luck to you
  15. It has helped me learn about myself and I am closer to knowing my life purpose because of it. What wouod be an alternative?
  16. The subconscious mind controls 95%+ of behavior. If you want to change, you cannot simply will your way to change. You have to go deeper and heal the traumas that are holding you in place and that continue to drive your behaviors.
  17. @soos_mite_ah That's a good response, and I was trying to point out that there are some things you may be unaware of that are negatively motivating your search for a life purpose. It would be better to look at those and work through them. For example, some people might have a subconscious belief that success = receiving love from their parents. Good luck to you.
  18. Interesting. One of my friends was guiding myself and others through a yoga program one day and she saw that I was trying really hard to stretch as far as possible. She said to the group "notice if you are trying to stretch too far too fast, and ask why? What's the rush?" What is driving the impatience? Figuring that out might clear away some of the clouds and let your purpose shine through more easily.
  19. @levani If you don't know your life purpose, then your life purpose is to discover your lifes purpose. I recommend making an actionable plan that includes reading high-quality books, travelling to at least 5 new cities, and doing psychedelics, but that's up to you to decide if you want to.
  20. Forgot to hit "notify me of replies" haha
  21. I am on my third go for the life purpose course. Previously I got to about the 70th video both times and quit. I am fully committed this time to finishing the course and acting on my purpose. I notice that this time my values are just so much more solid. I've done a lot more travelling, reading books off Leo's book list and others in general, psychedelics, meditation, therapy since my last time doing the course. Everything seems to be clicking much more easily and quickly. One thing that is helping me is not being a perfectionist about it. As for your question, I think it is that you and I are just too young and inexperienced to really know our life purpose on a concrete level. It will refine and change until we hit the nail on the head. I am just 24 and you must be about the same since you will be graduating college soon. Get comfortable being unsure about this and let it take its time. What is your plan from here?
  22. Also considering taking the iPEC coaching. Why do you want to become a coach and what will your niche be?
  23. This guided self-love meditation has helped me; it may help you as well. I notice you've stopped updating your journal. Is it not serving you any longer? It was tremendously helpful to read. Thanks for sharing
  24. I was going to say it sounds like you have a dismissive attachment style (welcome to the club) but @Nichts beat me to it 😅