aklacor727

@Moksha thank you ❤️☺️

For the past year, I’ve mainly been focusing on dating, and realized I’ve been in doing mode and thinking mode for most of this time. These past few weeks, I’ve been feeling more like getting into my body and feeling things through, slowing down, etc. Once I started doing this, some sadness and depression has come out. I assume it’s been in there this whole time and I’m just now in my body enough to be able to really feel it. once I get back into doing and thinking of course with the distraction, I feel better. What kind of balance do you all feel is healthiest for staying happy but also processing and allowing emotions to move through you? Is there any sort of practice you feel has worked best for you. I just kind of been doing mindfulness and body awareness practices. Thanks

@Emerald @flowboy UPDATE! Spiritually related and I know this is the dating section so just fyi if that type of stuff doesn’t interest no need to read! But figured maybe some people here would appreciate it Synchronicities/interesting timing, law of attraction, psychic predictions coming true, as well as going with the flow of what life is bringing me, I think has lead me to my ACTUAL future husband lol (hopefully maybe) I was referring to that guy as my future husband to my friends after the first date! I wanted to being that energy into the universe and I realized that it was more that he was just the exact type of guy I pictured myself with rather than any actual feelings yet. And now I’m thinking that scenario meant to happen as a learning experience for me to meet the right one? 🤞SO after I decided to move my focus elsewhere from that guy, I found a dating site that had the most type of men that are my type. And in my bio I described what I am a fan of personality wise. (Law of attraction) So THEN. I meet this guy, very much my type as well, ends up fitting the personality description great too. And now a little back story…. I saw a psychic that had a very good reputation back in my early 20s. She knew a lot of things but also predicted a lot of things and I do believe some psychics are legit. So check this out! she said she saw me marrying someone that his work had to do with houses or buildings. (This guy is a union plumber). Also having multiple properties, and she specifically mentioned Arizona and/or San Diego. (I had gone on a San Diego trip prior, and to this day it’s still one of my favorite places). I was JUST talking to someone about that like 3 days ago for the first time in ages. So he is from San Diego!!! (Synchronicity for sure.) I had no idea either until after I met him in person. He wants to move back there and has goals of flipping houses and having rental properties. I also am big into home renovations personally so that fits perfectly! There were other big things that fit what she said too but I don’t want to ramble on too long. All of this seems like too much to be a coincidence to me! So I will see how things progress but it’s feeling very positive! I have a little bit of butterflies and smile when I think about him, his love languages I very much like as well so we are off to a great start 😊

@Average Investor So true. I never even thought about how it could come off that way. But in all honesty I was kinda trying to distract myself from the anxiousness of not hearing from him yet…and be able to have a fun night whether he canceled or not. He went out all night the night before and was still sleeping at 3:30pm. So yes I did think it was a little rude as well so there was a bit of what you described mixed in for sure lol and direct communication would have saved some frustration!

@flowboy I do want to say that. But he never responded to my last text a couple of days ago… so it would be really random, unless I initiate AGAIN.. yesterday I was anxious today it’s whatever, I’ve accepted it probably ended up just being a good learning experience. If he perceives it as me losing interest it’d only be because of his lack of effort so if he wants to regain my interest he’ll have to actually put some effort in. if for some reason we do talk again though that will absolutely be being said.

That sounds perfect. I feel better about this. It is what it is I’m happy to have had the experience either way. Look forward to checking out the channels 🙌

Well if nothing else this was a valuable learning experience. And now of course I’m thinking more after reading your comment. It’s weird how I diminish my worth like that to people. I do that all the time even not in dating scenarios. But I think partly it’s because i don’t want people to feel bad about themselves. like there were a few other things that could’ve made him look bad that happened. And made the next day a comment about how I was a little nervous this time. (It was v-day dinner date, so less casual I was a lil awkward not gonna lie lol). So I was trying to be a lil vulnerable to see how he responded, also if he was embarrassed about anything he’d know I wasn’t judging him about it if I said something like that. But yeah either way probably best not to do that anymore!

@Emerald well actually, let me ask your advice on this. It’s clear I need to take at least a step back, but I was just looking.. i have initiated almost every single convo. You think at that point just completely stop initiating and see if he does. If I just took a step back I would still text him in day a day or two something casually. Like a good song i found, we have similar tastes. Thoughts? Step back or completely just stop n see.

@Emerald definitely. That makes so much 1000% agree.. ugh. Welp, it’s only been 3 dates. Not even 2 weeks. Maybe it’s not to late . But I shall see if he reaches out. In the meantime I’m moving on assuming he won’t lol. If he does it’ll be a nice suprise. thank you 🙏❤️

@flowboy however… thinking about it more. yesterday our last text about our days I had just gotten to a bar to play pool with my friends. Maybe he just wanted to let me have my fun..? I feel that way when a guy I’m dating and it’s really early on, sometimes I feel like I’d be bugging him. He seems like he might be that way too. And with the controlling ex, told me it got to the point it was an issue just going out to dinner with his dad. So that’s why they broke up, and he could be intentionally trying to be extra chill bc he doesn’t want to come off like how she did . .idk, but hopefully it’s not that I ruined it. Lol

@flowboy Yeah… 😩 I hope I didn’t ruin it!! I was just so excited to play ping pong and get my tennis fix it had been forever 😫 our third date was when we ended up playing pool he was beating me some but I had to show him the right way to rack 😫 he did ask though I wasn’t going to say anything.. n it was just whatever kinda rules. Not trying to be all competitive or anything… but yea.. At this point I don’t even feel comfortable texting till I hear from him first… last convo was telling each other about our days and I haven’t heard back, which was midday yesterday. And that was literally our only text exchange yesterday. sigh lol. Well if I get to see him again or even have the opportunity to use this advice, thank you. 🤞🤞🤞

@meta_male well yes, I want him to. I can’t force anyone to do anything. I can just post in forums and get advice on the best way to handle situations, to where the outcome works out in my favor, which of course in this case is me wanting things to work out with him

@meta_male what games?

@Ulax @flowboy thank you, I will be watching that video that seems super helpful. and yes, definitely a priority!! I did spend a good 5 years in single hood doing all kinds of inner work, healing, etc, and have been dating again the past year. it’s still so hard for me to determine my attachment style. Kinda anxious I suppose or I wouldn’t be so concerned posting here lol. I also have avoidant tendencies because I’m quick to just move on from people. But, that could just be me being decisive too! But you’re right if I was fully secure/emotionally mature, I would just have full acceptance for however things are. And if I’m really self reflecting, I think it’s the unknown that makes me anxious. Tbh, the lack of texting mainly. Makes me worried he’s losing interest. And it’s not even that there’s actual *feelings* yet. I just really like who he is as a person, so kind, handsome, we have so much in common. I could see myself with him long term. That is a rarity for me! I’m 35 now and I’m just ready to be happy and settled with someone. I want control over the situation lol, I want it to work out! Anyway thank u for initiating my self reflecting, I need to rewatch Leo’s letting go video and get some practice in 😆 I actually really do like assertive men/masculine energy..My last long term relationship was like that and it was one of the things that attracted me to him most..Very much took charge and made things happen, constantly pursed me. He basically told me I was his girlfriend instead of asking lol..that’s how assertive he was. But then he turned out to be kinda controlling so me and him both have exes with that experience. We are VERY similar, too similar obviously in that way with our go with the flow personalities. Weve flipped coins on our dates to figure out the littlest of things just out of pure not caring either way.. but yea, the lack of pursuing and assertiveness I mainly don’t like because I’m not feeling validated! And it’s in the back of my mind that maybe he’s still out there exploring his options. And honestly if he was I would be disappointed but I would feel ok in knowing if he found someone else he liked more then it just wasn’t meant to be. N of course I would prefer not to put my energy and focus on one person if that person doesn’t see the value and potential in me that I do in him to where he feels the need to still feels the need to be put there looking.. that alone may make me decide we’re not right for each other .. would that be avoidant of me to think that way?? 🤔 somewhat anxious lol. But tbh It would be nice just to know. Wish I felt comfortable asking. and THANK YOU for the practical tips as well. That’s very helpful and I will be keeping that very much in mind. I did initiate our first meeting and suggested a place with a pool table. We ended up going to this other place and playing all kinds of games and I was beating him a bit.. so that probably didn’t enhance his masculine energy. (Ping pong and I was on the tennis team so I think that made him more ok with it at least lol) but anyway, knowing ALL THIS now what are the thoughts…. Lol. Sorry obviously situations and ppl are complex so I can’t help but ramble a bit.. 😩 thinking i just need to chill n let him come to me if he wants..? n if he doesn’t o well then..?!

@meta_male I know he’s into me otherwise, he wouldn’t keep seeing me but it’s clear I like him more lol. So that’s not really the concern… I guess I’m just confused on how to move forward in a way that doesn’t come off as needy. his last girlfriend he told me was a bit controlling so I feel the less expectations I put on things the better especially this early on. Obviously, I want him to like me more not less! Normally, I would be much more open towards the person I am dating about my thoughts about these things but since I like him so much, I’m being extra careful not to mess things up. Lol. But ideally I would love just an open honest conversation