Paul92

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Posts posted by Paul92

  4. Posted

    @winterknight Exactly. To whom is it occurring. And you'll tell me that it isn't me. It isn't Paul. There is no Paul. There is no Shaun. There is no Buba. I don't have parents. You don't exist. My friends don't exist as real entities. It's all just God consciousness playing with itself.

    So how does therapy help at all?

    Therapy is designed to help people handle and process their emotions, particularly those which are suppressed.

    But they're not even my emotions, as I don't exist. It seems like such a huge paradox. On one hand, suffering goes away when you can accept that you don't exist and everything is 'as is'. But you're saying we needn't face this alone, and we need therapy to process and understand our emotions, which are probably all purely egoic and illusionary.

    Ultimately, it isn't my choice to pursue therapy/enlightenment or anything. Everything that happens is preordained. It's God playing with itself. Or life is a dream. Or a memory etc. Whatever interpretation we want to put forth on any given day.

    It's frustrating because everyone here is thinking that they have a choice in what they do next, which is egoic in itself. There is no you or me, just God that is experiencing itself. Paul isn't typing this, apparently. Or is he...

    I've asked a thousand million times on this forum how I might have misinterpreted nonduality and I just get word salad. Everyone says how it makes you more compassionate and loving when you reach and nondual state... you can't make yourself do anything... everything that happens, postivie and negative just happens. If I think another person is another person and is a knob, then I didn't think that.. God did!

    @Shaun @Buba Appreciate you looking out for me above. Wish you both the best and would always love to help in return (if Paul can, of course, as he doesn't exist...)

  5. Posted

    @Preetom Nope, not really.

    Becoming increasingly convinced that nonduality is not the answer the more I go down the rabbit hole.

    Check this forum out. Nobody has a clue what they're talking about. It's full of paradoxes.

    Sure, I'm open to investigating it through the practices. But something is telling me that this just isn't the answer. It can't explain everything. .

    The OP made a very good point but it seems a lot are caught up in a spiritual ego and will just dismiss anything and everything.

  6. Posted

    @winterknight If we are not our thoughts, then where do they come from, and why do we have them?

    I appreciate you can't think a thought before you have thought it. However, could it not be that our mind is our soul, and we supposed to be able to think, and this really is the only way of being possible? How other way could it be? Maybe we ARE our thoughts, we have the ability to think a thought before we have thought it.

    I read your blog on desire and you say look beneath the hood of what you really think you want. That involves thinking. It seems paradoxical that we want to try to work towards a quiet mind (even though many here say we don't have free will and we don't exist etc), but yet to do that it involves a lot of thinking.

  7. Posted

    2 hours ago, Truth Addict said:

    @SQAAD

    Because the higher consciousness human beings are trying to drag along the lower consciousness ones.

    God is loving, and so are the higher consciousness human beings.

    God wants to evolve us, and evolution implies conflict.

    The difference between being deluded and not, is like the difference between bad and good politics.

    A chimp is a bad leader for human beings.

    But there is no 'us', right?

    God is loving, and so are higher conscious human beings.. that seems like a duality.

    Also, are you saying lower conscious are not loving? You forget, if we have no free will and it is all God pulling the strings, then is just how it is... nothing is less or more loving.

    You speak like we have a choice between being deluded and not. A true nondualist would say there is no us to have any will over this experience we are having right now anyway.

    Which makes zero sense.

  12. Posted

    @Shaun You're going to go down a huge rabbit hole with some of these guys here with this. If you died tomorrow, everything would still carry on. There is more than just you. Don't worry about that.

    As for individuality, who knows anymore... my point is, why do we have a thinking mind if we aren't supposed to? And also, if we have zero control and God is pulling all the strings, then what is the point in playing with itself? Why create the ego etc... "to survive", people will say. Didn't think God needed to do anything to survive as it is absolute and infinite.

    If you look on YouTube, there are hundred of New Agers/Buddhists/Hindus etc that have converted to Christianity. Who knows.

  16. Posted · Edited by Paul92

    @Salvijus I'll have to watch that later buddy, thanks. 

    Busy at the moment. Out on a work's meal and I'm freaking out to be honest. 

    I don't know what reality is. 

    All I ever wanted to do, whatever I am, was love those around me and help people. Have fun. Be kind. And love others. Love love love. 

    But I don't have free will. 

    I don't exist. 

    It's cruel. 

    I have a sense of self that is not real. 

    I had no problem with Paul, you know.. 

    I've just paid for everyone's meals and a few drinks. I like giving. 

    I just want to love..  But I don't know who I am. I want to have control over my experience. 

    That's it, I want to control my experience and be. But I want to be me. I don't want to be superior to anyone. I want to help everyone. I want to see through evil and forgive people. I want to love but I also want to be loved. 

    Is it a crime to want to be loved? 

    They say that you must feel from your heart. Right now my heart is broken. I mean it. It's broken. 

    I need help from you guys. Please help me. As many people as I can talk to the better. 

  20. Posted

    @Nahm @Serotoninluv  I think I could second the OP's concerns. Nahm, maybe you can relate to this as a guitar player, I find that when I try and gfocus on playing guitar, I can't actually play as well. I played a gig a couple of months ago and was trying to stay focused on the present moment at all times and I played shocking.. I find I play better when I just don't think?When I actually go on autopilot haha

  21. Posted

    Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this...

    Since I started to realise that perhaps not everything is what is seems (we are not the body, and probably don't exist etc) I've noticed that my sex drive has completely disappeared...

    Like, I still sort of find the form of a woman appealing... but not like I used to...

    I mean, we are not the body. It's just a bunch of particles, isn't it? What's attractive about a bunch of carbon particles and molecules?

    I went from having a ridiculous sex drive to next to nothing really..

    I have no desire to make love to my 'Self'... just seems a bit weird.

    Anyone else experienced the same?

  23. Posted

    @Shaun This is what I don't understand. One minute a guru says one thing, the next the total opposite.

    Right, so, there is no me. My true Self is nothing.

    Hmm.

    @Leo Gura I sort of see what you are trying to say. The issue is, clearly, even as you type out this understanding, you can't not refer to people are 'you' or as another.

    Everyone sits on this forum and lambasts unconscious people. Well, a lot of them do. Isn't this what we are looking to avoid if, ultimately, they are lambasting themselves?

    I still don't understand why 'we' have a sense of self. There is nothing more 'real' to me than my 'sense' of self. As in, I am Paul.. I know what I like and I don't like.. I can't help that haha. For instance, a random example would be my taste in women aestetically. I know what I find attractive and not. I don't choose that, it just is.

    You also said that individuals are sort of like partitions of the God harddrive, if you will. Will limited powers. With God free will. So why does it matter how you identify yourself? Do I walk round saying I am a piece of God or can I just be Paul? What difference does it make..

    Why do we have a 'mind' or thoughts if we aren't supposed to have them?

    I would claim that it would be impossible, as a human form or whatever, to ever achieve a state whereby you simply have no thoughts, no attachments, no opinions, no sense of self, no emotions, as was just nothing. You wouldn't function. You might as well be a vegetable. Is this the goal? It makes zero sense. I don't see the bliss in that...

    Now, I'm not claiming there is not such a state. I don't know.

    But I think some of these gurus need calling out on their bullshit (I'm not meaning you, Leo.. you're pretty consistent with what you say in fairness to you... I appreciate your posts and I do take them on board, just not 100% sure I can get on board with what you are saying at this point). Sadhguru for instance, one moment talks about being a human being and there only being one life inside the body. Then he claims there is no you. And claims we are all one, and not to think about things you don't understand. Then he posts online about voting and democracy... like we have free will and a choice. He's also quite nationalistic.. I watched something once where he was pretty peeved about the past relationship between India and the UK.

    Why does he get annoyed at this and feel the need to call it out? Shouldn't he just be accepting what is?

    I think I saw @Leo Gura posting about the slave trade and reperations that should be paid. Why consider this? That isn't accepting what is? It has been and gone, are we to just accept it as God's will.. or are you fighting God? :)

  24. Posted

    @SOUL how do you mean? If the mind is noisy, or quiet, just recognise presence? What does that actually mean? As in recognise the thoughts? For sure I can notice them and do. If I find myself judging now or assessing a situation, I realise and I don't. I'm not wasting energy on judging what is if I can help it. Sure it's harder sometimes than others but... 

     

    @Leo Gura Exactly.. I've only ever known being 'me'. And I have a sense of self. Maybe not as 'Paul', I recognise that is just a name. But I find it difficult to be able to drop the sense of self. What are we left with? 

    It's like you say we are God. Or a bit of God. Does that make us all individuals then on a certain level? 

    Also, I appreciate that on here I can seem provocative and might have appeared like that in the past. But now I'm making a genuine effort to grow and get on board with this. It is the only hope 'I' have.