Venus

Member
 View profile  See their activity

  • Content count

    142

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Posts posted by Venus

  3. Posted

    @see_on_see what exactly do you mean by 'justify'? Do you mean prove to themselves that their religion is beneficial and right?

    @Prabhaker  I've thought similarly. It seems like that feeling of getting unconditional love from the 'creator of the universe' creates a great relieving feeling (for obvious reasons), but surely there's got to be more to it than just a relief because of a belief? That wouldn't feel like love surely? Where do they feel the love from?

    @99th_monkey so like envy? I feel down around them because I want their happiness? I don't think I understand

    @Nahm

    4 hours ago, Nahm said:

    So Christians may seem easier going, lighter, but deeper within they have some serious belief issues that are preventing them from living more fully.

    I totally agree. But on the questioning thing, it really depends on the ones you ask because some do have some complex structures and really think they know what they're talking about. But even then they can all get a little shaken and start thinking, with the right sort of questions, which is good.

    @Evilwave Heddy we all have our own limiting beliefs. Don't hate just because your beliefs makes others' look obviously foolish. Isn't that just how they'd be thinking of you as well?

    @Psychonaut lol yeah. But that was never what they thought their goal was. Dying and getting into heaven was, so as far as we know, it could be  a 100% success rate. We can't tell. That's why it's so efficient. :)

    @Bob84 "Seek and ye shall find." - Matthew 7:7. Sometimes I feel like the Bible itself could teach Christians where they're going wrong by being Christian :) 

  4. Posted

    @InDaZone that's super helpful btw, thanks. But when you get all the way down to that fear, what dost you do?

    @Danielle so do you take time to do some meditation on it in the day, maybe some affirmations to help drill into you that your thoughts are meaningless?

    @I_Like_Thing it's harder to do that on deeper beliefs that you're barely even conscious you hold though. It also becomes massively time consuming to do that on them all. Surely there's a more efficient way? Maybe it's not too bad. But yeah, deeper beliefs.

    @Huz I like that! It sounds a bit like how it often feels when I get into deep states of consciousness (although I could be putting a glamorous coat on them because I'm not feeling them now)

    @Nahm I hadn't thought of looking at it that way. But it makes loads of sense. A lot of my negative, limiting beliefs so obviously come from my mother's attitudes. And the positive ones from my dad.

  7. Posted

    My personal development isn't getting anywhere because I never know which thing to do first.

    I can't decide which affirmation I should start doing first.

    I can't decide which visualization to start doing first.

    I can't decide which book to read first.

    I can't decide whether I should go after my ex that I still adore.

    I can't decide how to answer replies on my forum posts.

    I can't decide which habit to start first because I want/need to start them all.

    Of course I can't do all of the things at once. And when I do decide what seems the right thing to do, the next day I manage to persuade myself that another way is the best way so don't manage to feel motivated to continue anything set in place the day before.

    So as far as it feels, I basically never know what to do in order to move forward in pretty much most areas of life. And whenever I feel like I have a good method of fixing it then it quickly becomes just another thing to add to my list of things that I can't decide which of to do first.

    So I need insight and help from others because it's just seeming like a loop I can't get out off when I'm trying to fix it from just inside my head.

    I've been in this loop for months now and I've actually only realised recently that this indecisiveness was the problem stopping me from getting anywhere. But yeah I'm just so lost and never know what to do and it's just driving me into depression.

  9. Posted

    I don't follow a religion but hang around with many Christians. It's not like they go very deep into it like actualized.org does (just the conventional church every sunday and friends with the same views) but to me, it seems they have a greater satisfaction with life and are more at ease than I feel; the sort of comfort in life that I feel I'm aiming for with personal development, yet they aren't doing any personal development really.

    So why do they seem to have these results without putting in the work? Could it just be it seems this way because I can't see what they're like on the inside, or is there there actually a few key things that happen to be in just the right place because of how religion works and what it does for someone?

    (This is assuming there isn't a/the God they believe in)

  13. Posted

    I understand (at least some of) how much beliefs effect a person's life and realise how important it is to question your own beliefs.

    But I feel like I've had a strong lack of commitment to properly questioning my own since I don't understand how.

    I see there are so many and I don't know where to start or how to dig them all out, so this is me asking where and how?

     

  17. Posted

    There really isn't much reason to be in your head worrying about the past or future. There's actually no reason why we need to be thinking. Our thoughts will try and convince us there is; your worry will worry about what will happen if you stop worrying, and you may fall for the trick. Or you could just let go for a moment and see for yourself; see how relaxing now is.

    There's actually no harm in putting all your focus into only what you're doing right now, but it doesn't feel that way.

  22. Posted · Edited by Venus

    You're jealous only when you think about [it].

    You're not good enough only when you think about it.

    Everyone is thinking you're a freak only when you think about it.

    Your life sucks only when you think about it.

    You can't do it only when you think about it.

    You're a failure only when you think about it.

    Life is going nowhere only when you think about it.

     

    Let go of your thoughts.

  23. Posted · Edited by Venus

    Fear

     

    Go play a game of paintball and see just how scared everyone is to just run out and go forward with the shit they want to do: "I could run to that defense... But I might get shot... So never mind", "I could leg it and plaster all those people even whilst getting shot.... But I might get told off for blind firing or something...so never mind". Most people just hide away at the back.

    We get so scared of stuff that is no where near as bad as we most likely tell ourselves, as well as it probably being very unlikely to happen aNyway.

    I reckon the average person does, at most, only about 10% of the things they actually really want to do, retreating back to their comfy hole, giving up that 90% because of fear. And what lies in that 90%? Real fucking living, that's what! You only really begin to live a full life when you begin to excite yourself and do those things that dO scare you. Being scared is fine. It's great. It's just when you let it take over you, hold you back and stop you from living a real life that it becomes a problem.

    I think the thing most commonly feared is what other people think of you, to whatever extent. But the thing is, if most people are all worried with a lot of focus on "what will other people think...? What if I look bad?", they're too busy to truly judge you. And who gives a fuck anyway. When there is  judgment, it tends to be their fear judging your transcendence through fear, so it's nothing significant. Do you really want to value an opinion that comes from fear? No you do not is the right answer. (Other judging tends to come from a much nicer place with a softer tone.)

    It makes me think of a speech Jim Carey did. He talks a bit about fear and it's very fantastic. It may have been where I first started thinking about fear to be fair.

    V80-gPkpH6M

     

    Avoiding your fears will help you survive, but it will not help you to live.

  25. Posted

    A different perspective for self acceptance

     

    A lot of the time we spend lots of time looking inwards, looking for our flaws so we can correct them. 
    One potential problem in this is that we can focus too much on the fact we are flawed, looking inside and saying,

    "Look, I am flawed. I accept I am flawed, and I can quite clearly see my flaws". 

    We can say this every day thinking we are practicing self acceptance, acknowledging our flaws, yet we may still, at least slightly, feel terrible and worthless.
    So we say to ourselves:

    "Why do I feel this sense of inner dislike towards myself. I'm practicing self-acceptance all the time, I will happily point out my flaws. Look, these are my flaws: [states flaws, e.g. porn addict]. Why do I still feel a major battle inside myself? I guess I'll just have to keep looking inwards."

    This might not happen with everyone, but by looking inside to be conscious of our flaws, we can accidentally begin to turn them into affirmations, everyday telling ourselves "I fear public situations", "I'm an addict", "I criticise all the time", building an efficient self image of that 'flaw'. We build a habit of thinking of ourselves like this, labelling ourselves with these things. So at the same time as trying to slowly rid yourself of this trait you're actually also building it into you, telling yourself it's who you are, creating conflict with the part that's trying to get rid of it. 
    It also doesn't help (this is probably the main cause of the conflict feeling) that you are just focusing on the bad things. Yeah you might be practicing self acceptance, but there's a difference between saying "yes I have this trait, I love it no matter what because it's me, even if I want to change it" and "yes I have this trait, it's part of me, I don't like it, but it's part of me so I accept it".

    If we're always calling ourselves flawed, even with good intention, then we begin to feel inferior, weak and worthless. This happens when we don't practice self acceptance properly.

    I can think of two ways to solve this:

    1. Just like most things, consciousness to yourself will help. By being conscious that "in this moment I feel this way (the flaw) and I accept and love it fully. That is how I feel now but it does not at all mean it is who I am as a person or how I will feel tomorrow", instead of "I feel this way now and I remember I did yesterday, so it must just be who I am".
    2. This is the main point I came here to make: The action of effectively just stop trying internal work for a bit. Stop looking inside so much. Just say to yourself "I am good enough right now and I do not need to change me" and let that be it for a couple of days. This stops the idea that you are always looking inside (with good intention) saying "here's a flaw, I need to change it", because by always trying to change yourself you actually begin to start forgetting to accept yourself. So those days and weeks where you feel really bad like you're not good enough is the time to stop and tell yourself that "actually, I'm not going to bother trying to change me right now. I'll take me just as I am, that's good enough".
      It may take a few minutes of really telling yourself it just to get yourself out of the previous mindset, but there should be instant relief and you begin to feel this sudden joyful connection with yourself where spontaneity and playfulness just start to show up and emerge because you're not trying to surpress any part of you, you're letting it all be exactly what it is. When you do that, you let all the colours shine, and the colours have so much beauty to shine all the time. We just distract ourselves from them way too often.

     

    (This is half a rant/notes about myself and how my self acceptance is going for me at the moment, so might actually not be relevant to anyone else… or it might be totally relevant and helpful to loads. Heck, who knows. Hopefully it's the latter).

     

    I'm hoping to add more frequently again. Get those working habits going.