heisenburger

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About heisenburger

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    Greenhorn

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  • Location
    New Zealand
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    Male
  1. I'm a high school student and all my authentic values point to something I have no idea how to monetise. At this point I have no idea how to get a job or pay the bills when I leave home, at this point the fear of uncertainty is too great that I'll probably take the easy route and go to university like everyone else. It's just too big a leap for me to go from high school to a situation where I'm hustling just to get money for rent etc. And I'm looking at going into college even ought authentically I probably don't need the education I'll get from it, just for the security of being around people the same age in a similar situation and not having to be totally independent yet. How do I find courage to do this and not just take the easy way out and go to college like everyone else?
  2. Hi, throughout my childhood when I was very young I was bullied for my looks which made me insecure. I used to always think that if I was good looking I would be happy, now I'm seventeen years old and after puberty I now love how I look. The problem is it's not fullfilling, now that I think I'm attractive I'm scared of losing it whether it be getting older and getting wrinkles or getting fat or going bald. After seeing both sides I now realise valuing looks similar to other things like valuing approval is a trap. Even at a stage where I objectively see myself as good looking I still suffer emotionally for fear of losing it. I want to detach from it completely. When I didn't have good looks I felt bad and now when I do have them I still feel bad because im worried of losing them. How do I detach completely from this value of needing to be good looking. It's at the point where I just don't want to give a fuck. Is there a way to do this? . It's especially difficult when I've been programmed through commercials society etc to care about looks. How do I make it so 1: I don't care whether or not people find me attractive. 2: I don't care whether or not I perceive myself as attractive.
  3. Hi, throughout my childhood when I was very young I was bullied for my looks which made me insecure. I used to always think that if I was good looking I would be happy, now I'm seventeen years old and after puberty I now love how I look. The problem is it's not fullfilling, now that I think I'm attractive I'm scared of losing it whether it be getting older and getting wrinkles or getting fat or going bald. After seeing both sides I now realise valuing looks similar to other things like valuing approval is a trap. Even at a stage where I objectively see myself as good looking I still suffer emotionally for fear of losing it. I want to detach from it completely. When I didn't have good looks I felt bad and now when I do have them I still feel bad because im worried of losing them. How do I detach completely from this value of needing to be good looking. It's at the point where I just don't want to give a fuck. Is there a way to do this? . It's especially difficult when I've been programmed through commercials society etc to care about looks. How do I make it so 1: I don't care whether or not people find me attractive. 2: I don't care whether or not I perceive myself as attractive.
  4. Hi, a big mistake people make is cutting masturbation completely. This is ridiculous there's no way it can be sustained for most people, a better thing is to use this strategy, which I've been using for three months now. 1: Never watch porn again, commit to never again in your life. 2: Pick a day eg Monday and set a rule you can masturbate on this day once every two weeks (or once every week if this is too hard). Its not completely abstaining from masturbation but will still have the same benefits.
  5. There's a chapter in way of the superior man that talks about this, basically what the book says is if you breath in a circle down your stomach and up your spine sexual energy can not build up as easily and you last longer. Maybe this affected your breathing which lead to this.
  6. Yes! You can use the Sedona method on addictions. For me how it would work is it ask, "could I let go of wanting to be controlled by this addictions?" Than I'd realise yes, that I'm in control of whether or not I play the video games, and only about 1 in 5 times after releasing I'd still play the games, and when I did I wouldn't feel guilty about it.
  7. Knock knock. Who's there? no one.
  8. @Michael569 I think a guide to rational living is a better book than emotional intelligence 2.0
  9. @OhHiMark no not always but a lot of times it will be. It should be obvious to you which is which, in that situation asking the stranger a silly question is probably good as it will help you to detach from caring what others think and having restrictions to how you behave around others.
  10. I feel pretty good about my values lost but am scared I'll get some values wrong or are missing some, since this is so important to move in the right direction. Should I do all the excercise stuff again or just go with what I have.
  11. How about a walkthrough or guided meditation where you help to imtrospect and find the source of a fear. Like you're guided meditations or the negative values release in the life purpose course, but one specifically towards fear where you guide the listener to remember the trigger event for a fear and release it. Would be life changing for me, as there don't seem to be any of those sort of guided releases anywhere
  12. @Frode how do you get money to buy so many books, I see about fifty just on the shelf behind you.
  13. Hi! Any big change comes with resitance, to get something radically different you need to do something radically different, therefore standing up against this resitance is that. Think, what do most people do when someone's scary, they avoid it. That's why they're stuck in the cycle. Resistance can be seen as the reason so many are stuck. The bad news is there's no special gimmick anyone can give you to just remove this resitance forever, if you could do that and chase your greatest dreams with no pain or fear at all you would probably be the first in the world to ever do so. Fear/doubt means you're outside of your comfort zone, when you're doubting it's an indicator that either something great a big change or choice is going to happen or you're about to avoid this choice happening. The good news is there's plenty of tools to make it a lot easier! A couple great resources! 1: The Sedona method. use this to release fears doubts at doing something. https://www.amazon.com/Sedona-Method-Happiness-Emotional-Well-Being/dp/0971933413 2: Incantations/tony Robbins state change excercise. sedona method can cure negative emotions, but this can put you in a positive state, when you feel passionate or inspired it's easy to make difficult decisions, use this to gain those emotions. If you have a spare half hour alone I highly HIGHLY reccomend going through the guided meditation I posted above for a start. And maybe look into buying the Sedona book if you want to.
  14. The red queen by Matt Ridley.
  15. The reason is its not because you don't know what to say, it's because you think what you want to say isn't good enough. Whenever people lock up its because they hold back things because they fear rejection. Eg around your friend you can talk but not others you don't know so well, this means there's something you want from the others, that's preventing you from expressing yourself. Is it security? To make sure you're not made fun of or ridiculed is that why you don't talk. Is it approval? You don't talk because you don't want to say something that makes them dissaproval of you? I reccomend a book called loving what is by Byron Katie, if you discover the reason you lock up, you can then use that book to release it.