Christian

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429 Unbelievable!

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About Christian

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    Common Chimp
  • Birthday 10/27/1998

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  1. @Caterpillar I have a belief it might be bad to believe that because the belief does not reflect reality. Reality tells a completely different story, hope you agree. But, Hey, if delusion is needed, then that’s what’s up...
  2. @Caterpillar How can I stop believing that I am autistic when people always treat me different and I was diagnosed at the age of 6? I went through special education so autism is so engrained into my psyche... I never felt normal. A lot of my actions reflect that I have autism as well so why should I believe I do not have autism when reality always points at the fact that I behave like someone who is autistic? You see the problem?
  3. @Nahm There are many things; I want to understand how to behave in social contexts, I want to be confident in my ability to make wise choices, I want to develop a meditation habit (daily), I want to stop being extremely self-conscious, I want to stop feeling like a victim, I want to become more extroverted, I want to not let my autism be a limiting belief, I want other people to stop treating me like I'm different.. But all this seems like a fantasy at this point
  4. @Samuel Garcia The fact that you feel unloved suggests that you've lacked good role models in your life. If you had loving parents, then you would learn that you are the source of your own happiness. However, if you have been neglected before, that can traumatize you to the point where you believe you are unworthy of love. The problem with feeling unloved is that you will act needy and desperate in order to fill that void. That will make people more distant towards you since no one enjoys being around a needy person. You need to face your feelings head on despite how emotionally difficult it may seem. This is an internal issue. That means nothing external can help you overcome it. You state that you cry a lot and that is great. Crying is a sign of emotional purification and growth.Keep feeling your emotions until they change. Always remember that emotions are temporary sensations and if you just keep at it, you will start to see progress.
  5. As the title may suggest, I am on the autism spectrum. I got diagnosed at the age of six and I’m now 19 years old. I feel like autism has had a major impact throughout my life, but especially recently. I used to go to a special needs school from 2006-2015 and that was easy for me. Everything was a lot more predictable and stable than things are now. Fast forward til now, I am currently in highschool and I have a hard time understanding social cues and making friendships that last longer than six months. Every day, I feel intense anxiety and pressure to do well academically and socially. I feel incredibly self-conscious and I believe it always gets in the way. My mind always over-analyzes every little detail and I can’t make high quality decisions that way. I feel like a victim because I understand that the reason why I am self conscious is because I have autism and I care how others percieve me. That is a very bad combination. It’s like hitting a brick wall 100 times that is impossible to overcome. I just want to be normal; to have faith in myself, but how can I trust myself at all when I know how many fucked up decisions I make? How tricky and weird my mind is? I wish I could just control my life a little easier, but I have come to understand that change is hard. When you have autism, it is very difficult to make changes in your life. Even very basic ones. Because I have autism, I feel like a victim I feel doomed and like things will never get better EVER. The videos Leo made about how we have no free will and no self has made me question my ability to make any changes to my life. How can I meditate daily if I am not in control? How can I expect anything at all from myself if I am not the person who is doing the thing I’m expecting? The fact I have zero free will also means that I am not in control of my autism, which is great, but it means that I can’t make changes to my life when I want to. That frustrates me a lot. There are so many things I want to do, but they seem impossible at this point..
  6. @Marinus Sounds great! You seem very motivated to study, but do not over-study to the point where you burn out. 41 hours/week seems like a lot unless you are in university. Make sure that you take care of your mental and physical health as well. This means socializing, working out, getting involved with your hobbies, etc. I regret studying too much when I was in high school. Spent so much time studying that I neglected other aspects of my life such as relationships...
  7. You cannot stop your judgements because you do not exist. Surrender to the fact that you have zero control and it might get better. Maybe this will not change your tendency to judge, but at least you will stop percieving yourself as bad for judging others. Do not moralize yourself for judging others. That is not the way to go. Become mindful of the judgement as it happens and love yourself when you judge.
  8. The reason why your family dislike Leo is because his teachings are threatening their paradigm. They say he advocates falsehood and he is the reason why the world has suffering because they are afraid of adopting his perspective because it lies outside their comfort zone. It triggers fear. If this is their reaction to personal development, that means they are probably not ready to hear about it. I know you want moral support from your parents and it is scary to go against their authority, but sometimes you need to do the most emotionally difficult thing. Just avoid mentioning personal development in conversations with them, but still keep doing it. Keep doing consciousness work, keep reading PD material, etc. Not everyone will support you, that is the hard truth, but I remember Leo talked about how he never got any encouragement from his parents to start doing personal development. But look where he is at. That just proves that even if your family are not supporting you, you can still keep doing it and succeed
  9. Since you have not spoken to her in years, it seems to me that you and the family member do not have a close relationship. Therefore, it would be socially acceptable imo to decline her suggestion if you have other plans. So I agree with @Truth
  10. Dude, chill... Why are you so angry at the world? Please tell me why specifically. Of course life is hard, It's fucked up, but that's the way life works. You are lucky to be in a position where you can meditate, grow yourself and learn personal development. Most people never get that chance! All those popular people you envy so much are all hollow inside and they will likely never achieve unconditional happiness. Do you actually realize that? They all have all external succes, but that is shallow and stupid. If you actually achieved whatever external success they have, you would realize It's not going to make you happy. You have a chance to make something great of your life if you take responsibility, start being grateful for your journey and take small steps each day to improve your life.
  11. @WaterfallMachine This is a self-help forum with 6000 users where people seek advice and share knowledge, experiences etc. Some users on this forum are better at offering advice than others. That's to be expected. But forums, blogs, etc. are often not a reliable source for high-quality information. Books written by experts are much more ressourceful so look for that if you want to be taught properly. The people who give advice on this forum don't get paid for it, they don't know you well enough to help you, that is why they don't teach you properly. You can't expect much of strangers on the internet is my point.
  12. @Elton
  13. To become good at understanding your emotions, you need to develop awareness of your body. For this, I highly recommend that you meditate daily, socialize regularly and go outside your comfort zone every day. To raise your EQ, you must first change your lifestyle and set up the proper habits first before the improvements in your EQ start to show. Sidenote: You don't need to read an entire book about EQ -- that is usually a distraction -- just learn the basic theory and take ACTION.
  14. I think the point of systems thinking is to become conscious of how reality is interconnected. That sounds very abstract, I know, but let me explain. Many people try to fragment reality and look at problems only from the surface. But as a systems thinker, you are not interested in the superficial vanilla layer. You want to get to the true cause of global and personal issues and understand them from big picture point of view. If you apply systems thinking to society, you will begin to see how it is connected to spirituality and consciousness. Have you ever wondered why a society even exists? The people who are only interested in the superficial answers will say to get a job, survive and reproduce. But what function do these things serve? If you really introspect, you can clearly see they are a distraction from enlightenment and tools the ego can use to remain the tyrant in power. But why are most people not able to see this? There are two main reasons 1) Because of our society -- and all the cultural beliefs that come along with it. 2) 99.999% of people care about self-survival at the cost of Truth.
  15. You say you feel inferior when you see people who are better at skills you want to improve at. That might be a sign of low self esteem and the solution to that is not to become the best. If you become a master at x, then that will not make you satisfied because the very notion of being the best is a hollow illusion! It will not lead to a meaningful shift in the quality of your every day experience. Also, you cannot become the best from a place of inferiority, that's neurotic motivation and it's not sustainable. However, dropping your whole inferior vs superior concept could definetly do you some good. When you believe some people are superior and others inferior based on a relative belief system, you will tend to find people who are superior to you in different areas of life. Since you have this belief system in place, you are blindsided by it and can't see it as a belief system. So to you, it might really feel like this person is better than you at x, but that is a belief! Notice that the notion of better/worse, inferior/superior is a construction of your mind, not inherent to reality itself. Reality is absolutely neutral and nothing in reality has any value. Value and meaning is something we assign to reality to fulfill our human desires and purposes. That means nothing can be better than any other thing in the absolute sense. Everything is 100% equal. This is a really bitter pill to swallow, but hopefully you have enough self honesty and courage to do it. Good luck