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About Afonso

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  • Birthday 09/27/1999

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  1. @Leo Gura Since I've started doing this, it seems like my mind and body function without my intentional control. It scares the fuck out of me. I mean, here I am, now, doing stuff and it takes "effort" to create the illusion that I am doing "effort" in doing stuff. But stuff just happens, mind just does it thing and body just does it thing. I can't explain it... but it's both amazing and frightening. For example, I don't really know what it's going to happen next. I can sense that the control I think I have over my body/mind is nothing but illusory. Still, sometimes I do feel in control but that is also dissipating. Is this how the process unfolds? I feel like I'm watching my life unfold
  2. For me, the biggest transition was with the help of 1) Meditation 2) Exposure to a completely social environment for 1 week, every day 24 hours a day - always with people The meditation part helps you focus on the present moment. Since I've detached myself from thoughts and the inner dialogue in my head, I can really focus on interactions and therefore I'm much more spontaneous. Spontaneity is key. Second, I think that a completely social environment for a medium period of time helps as well, to remove those layers and filters that keep you from being spontaneous and genuine. It also helps if you have a relatively high level of awareness, so that way you can "watch" yourself interacting with people and be aware of all the tensions, thought patterns and emotional buttons that you have. That helped me a lot as well. So I have never been really social or could easily connect with people, BUT, since last week was over (1-week vacation in Barcelona with ~3000 people my age) my social skills have boosted so much, I can't even describe to you. I can now so easily connect with people and it is just an automatic thing. I say this as a previous introverted. For me, the key was massive social reference with lots of awareness. Now, I'm super social, weird huh? Anyways, I really like it because I can take out the joy of friendships and interactions. EDIT: Because, really, friendship, in my point of view, is just a synonym for a deep emotional intimacy that you build upon multiple social interactions.
  3. @Leo Gura I've been meditating for 6.5 months now. I just started Self-Inquiring recently, but for the past 3 to 4 days I have broken identification with "the voice". I no longer identify with it and see it just as thoughts. Now, it takes me a lot of conscious effort to speak the words in my head when typing/writing/reading, which means that I can write and read a lot faster because I don't go through the mental process of speaking the words. Also, it's now very rare to find myself in "Speaking-To-MySelf-Day-Dream", if you know what I mean. Is this an important step in my spiritual journey? I want your validation. Give it to me
  4. I do that to show dominance and to show that I'm attracted
  6. So when I'm meditating and focusing on my breath, I'm both meditating and concentrating? Do these states overlap?
  7. Since the past month, I've noticed times where I feel like no one is in control... the body and mind are just working automatically. Sometimes something goes out of my mouth, or think something or feel something and I'm just left like "Who the hell is doing all this stuff?". The distinction between thought and awareness is increasing. Awareness of my emotions is rising... I am so much more in touch with my emotions. Thoughts are much more tangible. Since the past week I can successfully turn my attention completely away from negative thoughts and it makes me smile because it's just random phenomena, I'm not responsible for "generating" the thoughts. I wanted to share my experience with you. What are your thoughts on this? It's amazing............... And it has only been 6 months. thank you so muchhhhhhhhhh this has been the most important habit that I've installed in my life I'm so grateful
  8. Since I've been meditating, this phenomena keeps occurring: I'm sleeping and then, all of the sudden, I realize I'm sleeping and open my eyes. I can't move, yet I get visual input. I usually see strange things. For example, once I saw the outline of a human body who I felt was my mother. Today, I saw myself in the reflection of the TV monitor, moving and waving my hands furiously (yet I was still in the first person view). I can get out of this state in 20~30 seconds if I try, which is what I usually do because it's so scary. I've heard that this phenomena relates to sleep paralysis but it seems so much stranger than just that. Any thoughts on this? Thank you!
  9. For how long have you been doing this?
  10. That looks like a good way to see things.
  11. I've been meditating everyday, sometimes twice a day, for 5 months straight. However, I still feel resistant when it's time to meditate. It's subtle, but the resistance is still there. Does it ever go away? Or will I always feel this resistance to meditate?
  12. Shit, way to go! I wish you the best!
  13. I'd love to hear other perspectives on this topic
  14. Yeah, this used to happen to me the first times I experimented with meditating late at night. For me, I'd be very alert and aware. Not thinking about anything in particular, but just being.