Pick-up is a trap.

[puporing]

@mr_engineer I get the point you're trying to make. It is simpler with more conscious people, coz you've transcended language and need for overstimulation/dramatization and story making.

It just takes two. And I think men or women will have trouble finding someone who are very present, acting from heart/purity, are capable of connection in silence and subtle gestures. 

The issue is more finding such people I feel.

Edited August 18, 2022 by puporing

[something_else]

1 hour ago, mr_engineer said:

I see another way of doing this and what I'm saying is 'Hey everyone, you don't have to use all of these manipulative techniques to get laid. I understand why you feel the need to do that, cuz you're dealing with unconscious women. But, here's another option, where the women are conscious and they will directly connect with you. It's simpler!' 

You see another way of doing it that is unverified, untested, and has gotten you no results as of yet.

But you are choosing to ignore the results obtained by like 5-10 other people in this thread who have all created healthy loving relationships from pickup or similar, more direct approaches to dating.

Look, you're clearly stubborn as a block of iron on this matter so I'm not going to talk to you about it anymore. Go out into the world and try out your approach, but you will realise quickly that idealistic approaches to dating like this are not good. There is no point discussing this. Let the rubber hit the road. Go and try out your approach and see if it works. That's all there is left for you to do.

Edited August 18, 2022 by something_else

[eos_nyxia]

There are a lot of dichotomies that ought to end one way or another, for everyone's benefit.

For example:  getting really hung up on the idea of "unconscious" vs. "conscious" women (I guess more complex hierarchical systems like Spiral Dynamics do help people transition). The same thing with men too.

As with all things, the spirit (intention, the quality of the emotions involved) with which you do something transcends the name/ label/ ideas associated with it. And along with it.... are you open/ relaxed/ willing enough to communicate whatever it is that you want to communicate, and show whatever it is that you want to show?

But if you approach women in a structured way with a pre-set model vs. doing it in a more organic, spontaneous way from the outset (e.g. the type of experience that you tend to gain in your teens if you've been interacting with the opposite sex and ALSO haven't also filled your head with a lot of ideology), obviously you have a number of setbacks. Both in the sense of practical realities and societal forces working against you, as well as what is more squarely in your own domain. For example: the more attached you are to these labels, the more you are blindsided by everything which doesn't fit, and the more you miss about people as they are, as well as what they could be (in the best possible sense), and are well into the process of becoming. Because there is no space for that.

You don't do a great job at doing people justice (or doing yourself justice either, for that matter).

Humans being pattern-making animals and all... it's one of our biggest strengths and limitations simultaneously.

We all tend to be too much up in our heads, overly attached to the ideas and outcomes that we are, in ways that can only limit us.