28 cm unbuffed

Can't stop smoking

49 posts in this topic

I've tried so many things already. I quitted so many times. Yet, somehow, I still manage to go back to the same habit over and over again. 

I have seen somewhere, that smoking is about blocking an emotion to come to the surface, yet, I have no idea, what it might be. 

Ok, I somehow have the idea. It might be the fear of being abandoned because my mother ran with me away from my father when I was about 4 years old. But, how the fuck do I go through this once and forever? It's not that easy to just find the love of your life and open your heart for this person, like what the fuck. 

I think, I never really was in love, all the girls, that I chased in my life, were just to get a pussy and that's it. 

And I'm pretty sure, it's my final boss, final trauma, to get everything I want in my life.

But - once again, I'm not sure, if that's not coming from the place of lack, because I need someone to save me and to heal my final trauma, you get it.

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I know how it feels, I quit smoking/vaping months ago and it seemed really hard. All these thoughts coming up are the voice of depression thats all. Feel the emotions, the thoughts are like flies buzzing in your ear, they ultimately serve no purpose. Emotions have a purpose for you, their purpose is to be felt. When quitting find practices to ground you like exercise, a meditation practice, yoga, etc. There will be pain and thats good. All emotions are True, if youre sad feel the sadness and move on. This is my take on it at least, hope all goes well :) . 


"As long as you're enthralled by a lifeless form, you're not free."

-A Buddha

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@dflores321

Thank you for your kind words, for real. 

In my situation, it's not really about emotions, at least - I don't think it is. Or maybe, I became too "disconeected", because of the amount of work, that I put on myself. I don't know, I had depression episodes a lot of times before in my past, but this time it's something different. 

And I have no clue what the hell it is, I really don't. 

I feel like it's because of lack of a deep connection with anyone, I have no true friend or a girlfriend right now, that might be the cause.

Once again, thank you for your message ;) 

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Think to yourself, whats the worst that could happen if I don't quit smoking? Visualize, contemplate.

Think to yourself, whats the best that could happen if I quit right now? Visualize, contemplate.

Which one would you rather be moving towards?

Another part of the problem is you might identify with smoking, so subconsciously you feel it's normal and something you "should" be doing. So it's hard to quit because it doesn't feel like it's who you are.

However identities are just imagined conditions, which means you can imagine an identity where you aren't a smoker and love taking care of your body. Which is why it's important to visualize and contemplate that "best" case scenario like I mentioned.

Good luck :)


"If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him."

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@28 cm unbuffed to discover the emotions that you learnt to distract yourself from through smoking, I suggest next time you want to smoke you pause and notice and write down all your thoughts, feelings (even if it's emotional numbness) and sensations. 

Doesn't matter if you end up smoking, but don't skip this step and do it as often as possible. 

Another benefit you get from this is being able to tolerate the discomfort that arises when not smoking for a little bit longer every time. 

Also, explore what other habits are associated to smoking. Usually there are some rituals involved. By being aware of them you can decide to break the cycle. 

 

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@Roy

Your advice is something I was looking for. There is a subconscious belief, that smoking is cool and I can't imagine myself as being ascetic, 100% healthy person, you get me. It's bizarre and stupid, I know, yet, I somehow have to replace it for good.

Is there any guided meditation, method, or something like that, you used for yourself? 

@Farnaby

I usually smoke while drinking or when chillin' and talking in a group, I somehow feel the need to fit in or something like that. I do whatever I want and say whatever I want to say, I feel comfortable with myself and I'm pretty confident guy overall, yet, this is something that I do when I'm with people.  don't really smoke or even buy cigarettes, when I'm on my own. 

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@28 cm unbuffed that's a good step, to be aware of the context in which your impulse to smoke gets triggered and to notice the association with a feeling of being "cool".

I totally get that, because usually completely ascetic people are judged by society as "boring", "not cool", etc.

I'm not sure but I think I see a relationship in your case between "smoking is cool" and the need to fit in. You can inspect what comes to your mind when you imagine being in those social situations without smoking. 

The important part here isn't the rational thoughts, but the actual feeling. Would you feel as comfortable as you do when you smoke? If not, what would be different? 

Maybe these questions and trying it out and see how you feel can help you get to the root of the habit.

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@28 cm unbuffed  Besides the obvious health risk why do want to stop smoking in the first place? Try asking yourself "Do I really want to stop smoking anyway?" When I had my weed addiction I would ask myself this question and most times I didn't really want  to quit this habit even though I knew it was bad. I would continue to smoke anyway but I made sure I was mindful of the whole process from wrapping the weed all the way to finishing the joint. After about 2 months of this process I just started becoming more conscious of the limitations of smoking weed and gradually stopped.  Haven't  smoked a weed in about 2 years now and don't have any cravings for it what so ever.

I'd give some Counter Intuitive advice and tell you to keep smoking BUT make sure you're mindful about the whole process. The more mindful you are of this process the quicker you will see its limitations and just outgrow it. Good luck 

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On 8/13/2020 at 5:04 AM, 28 cm unbuffed said:

I've tried so many things already. I quitted so many times. Yet, somehow, I still manage to go back to the same habit over and over again. I have seen somewhere, that smoking is about blocking an emotion to come to the surface, yet, I have no idea, what it might be. 

Ok, I somehow have the idea. It might be the fear of being abandoned because my mother ran with me away from my father when I was about 4 years old. But, how the fuck do I go through this once and forever? It's not that easy to just find the love of your life and open your heart for this person, like what the fuck. 

I’d try to put yourself in their shoes, to understand their behavior & actions. The nature of the blocked emotion might then surface and clear. Maybe the present perspective is from internalizing what transpired, leaving you with an interpretation that it was abandonment, and that it was about you. If you were your mom, or your dad at that time, can you see where you would have done exactly what they did?  Not trying to imply it’s an easy breezy walk in the park to shift paradigms, but it wasn’t your fault, at all. Nor were you abandoned based on what you shared. Mom took you with her, leaving dad behind. Neither abandoned you. They were just doing their best with what ignorance or wisdom they had at the time. As a parent, I can assure you there is an unbreakable bond of love there, and both of them suffered much in that event, for any and all beliefs and needs they felt they had to put ahead of tending that bond. I’m sorry that happened, and I hope this is taken well, but let that suffering belong to them, they made what decisions they did, not you. You might realize the liberation you’re looking for in considering you are not presently feeling based on what they did, or what happened, but that you are feeling the relativity of arising perspectives, now, and only now. If that’s triggering I apologize, I do not mean it that way. Aim is to help your insight of this. That makes for a difficult childhood no doubt, but you are wanting to let go, and I’m suggesting the more the actual actuality is realized, that what is, is only what is here and now, is the way. As in, this now is your infinite being. This now appeared as that experience, this same now appearing as this present. This now, is you. Letting go of perspectives ‘it happened to me’, and realizing THIS, this which is appearing as all of this reality, is me, is the way-less way. Again, apologies if I’m ‘comin on too strong here’. I have a sense this is what you’re looking for, this magic, this now, you.  

On 8/13/2020 at 5:04 AM, 28 cm unbuffed said:

I think, I never really was in love, all the girls, that I chased in my life, were just to get a pussy and that's it. 

Check out The Four Agreements book. I think you’ll love it. 

On 8/13/2020 at 5:04 AM, 28 cm unbuffed said:

And I'm pretty sure, it's my final boss, final trauma, to get everything I want in my life.

It’s nothing. Careful building it up. Only makes it seem bigger, and puts pressure on you that nobody needs. Life gives enough already, so to speak. 

On 8/13/2020 at 5:04 AM, 28 cm unbuffed said:

But - once again, I'm not sure, if that's not coming from the place of lack, because I need someone to save me and to heal my final trauma, you get it.

You are that very ‘someone’. There is no assertion. You were never the person it happened to, always the entire experience. As unconditional love, surely you would not leave yourself hangin to the roll of the dice we’re all born to...but that’s the sacrifice you made. You knew you’d forget who you really are by appearing as all this. But you’re unconditional, so, no problem. Unless of course, you hold onto conditions. Being happy for no reason, is simply just being you. Be happy wether you quit smoking or not. No pressure at all. Love the bejesus outta yourself no matter what. Paradoxically, you won’t care to smoke. 

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Posted (edited)

Have you considered trying a vape? It's much better than smoking and can make you feel better about it. No need to go for one big change, start small and transition away. I smoke a vape now and it is quite nice and I feel much better than smoking 

Edited by Lyubov

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20 hours ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

@Lyubov

Yeah, I thought about it, because another reason for me to smoke, is because it is just a cool activity, creating a smoke. I really like that. 

Yeah, I enjoy it too. There is a reason people have smoked for centuries. It is very pleasant. For me a vape is a really nice alternative. It's way safer than cigarettes and I feel much better using one over cigs. 

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On 2020/8/13 at 5:04 PM, 28 cm unbuffed said:

I have seen somewhere, that smoking is about blocking an emotion to come to the surface, yet, I have no idea, what it might be. 

This is true. But trying to find out the emotional root cause for changing a habit is too complicated for an ordinary person. Unless, you have a really really good therapist who not only helps you find out the root cause but also has the technique to release it.

My approach to overcome my addiction is to cut my attention on it first. I nurture myself in as many aspects as possible: having a clean apartment, talking to friends, watching educational youtube videos, classical music, cat videos, healthy food, reading, stretching before going to bed, gratitude journal, all in all, very small acts that make me feel good from hour to hour. 

The thing is, addiction has grown into a monster that you just cannot reckon with. Like you said, when the craving hits, it's hard to resist. So it's already too late to deal with it when the craving arises. You can only reduce the craving by working on your emotional resources. When the craving hits, let it hit you. Observe the smallest change and give yourself the credit for it. And don't feel guilty. Guilt is the best fuel for addiction.

Have you played plant vs. zombie? Imagine addiction as a big boss zombie driving a bull dozer. Those small emotional resources are small suns you collect. Only when you have collected enough suns can you buy enough defense to keep the zombies at bay. 

This mentality will gradually reduce the drive for addiction rather than fighting it head on. But don't take my word for it. Some people can go cold-turkey. Keep your mind open and experiment with them. Have fun and good luck!

 

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@susanyzm

Yeah, that sounds true, not only that, I found it working in my own life. 

Right now, I can overcome a lot more cravings than before, I don't buy cigarettes, and even when I smoke, it's just from time to time,

I would not call it an addiction anymore. And just as you said - I think it's because of these small everyday habits - first, you don't really have time for bullshit, and second - it's such a waste to just start smoking on top of all of the great life you built for yourself.

Nevertheless - that's great advice and I think everyone reading this post will benefit from it. Thank you :) 

 

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@28 cm unbuffed

12 hours ago, Roy said:

Just discovered this tool recently. Thought it would be useful to share in this sub-forum. It is called "I Am Sober" in the Google Play store. It's a free app that allows you to name and customize an addiction you'd like to quit or slow down on, and logs the time you've been sober from it even when you aren't using your phone!

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.thehungrywasp.iamsober&hl=en_CA

You can track 3 things at once with the unpaid version, with a lot of support features. There is also a subscription if you want to get more serious about the number of things you track.

It's an incredibly simple but effective tool. It's quite motivating to see yourself set streaks, and seeing the time stack up is very tangible.

Hope this helps anyone struggling!

 

This might help you. Posting the link

 

Edited by Preety_India

.

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I quit subutex and kratom simply to make my meditation and soul-making practice more authentic. Also I’m discovering that all props merely serve the role of pure-excuse to not establish in reality. Mind altering substances are props. You may need good props to get rid of bad props, but you can stop leaning on all the props that your intuition is telling you are keeping you from awakening.

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21 minutes ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

The smoking problem just seemed to stop, just by making myself busy. I am going to start microdosing psilocybin soon, I don't think it's something that is my next excuse, it will get me closer to the Truth rather.

Everything is an excuse to not just be enlightened now, but some excuses are required to actually untangle yourself. Therefore in a sense, as long as you intend Truth alone, you’re doing the best you can. I’m glad you quit the cigs. I still use LSD myself.

Thinking we need to be beyond all props is itself a prop. As is this entire statement. And so on.

Edited by The0Self

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