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About susanyzm

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  1. Small wins today: 1. Visualization in the morning: building a family. 2. Positive self talk: I'm always on my side. 3. Praying: Dear God, I open my heart to you completely: You know that I feel like I have made many mistakes, and I feel bad about myself and my actions. I need your help in letting go to shame, guilt, and regrets. Please help me to learn from my past mistakes, instead of beating myself up about them. Please help me to grow into a strong person with faith and integrity who takes the right action steps. Please help me to forgive myself completely. Please help me to love myself and be happy. Amen. 4. Mirror work: I am lucky. 5. Talking to my inner child: Please eat healthily and regularly. 6. Meditation: Forgive and let go. 7. Yoga mild stretching: 10 min stretching before bedtime. 8. Expressing love to and receiving love from others: I shared my tips in recovering from eating disorder with a stranger today. She has started to keep a food and emotional diary. ---- Smaller habits. Bigger results. Thank you! I will!
  2. I have similar issue with you. I'm dealing with painful memories that I wish never happened. What I find helpful are the following practices: 1. Do regular meditation in the morning and in the evening. I usually use key words such as "regret" "guilt" "forgive myself" "let go" "I am enough" "painful memory" "self-love" etc. and pick the one I like. The benefit of meditation is that it let the reasoning mind rest for a while and let me have a breathing space to feel things in a compassionate way. 2. When you find yourself tangled in the resistance, simply say: "God, please help me to understand the event in a different perspective." 3. Journal about your feelings. You refuse to look at it because you only see pain and hurt. But painful memories have many layers. Journaling about your feelings, such as "How was I feeling at that moment? What exactly happened? What can I learn from it? Why do I resist it so much?" can help you dig out deeper layers that benefit you. 4. Send compassion to people in similar situations. For instance, I used to feel deeply shameful about my eating disorder. So I joined FB groups and started my own chat group. I see how people suffer from it and I send my love to them. I know shame is exactly the hidden driving force behind addiction. Sending love to them is sending love to my past self. The thing is, people find it so easy to be hard on themselves. Sometimes loving other people is way easier than loving oneself. It's a good start to love yourself back nevertheless.
  3. Small wins today: 1. Visualization in the morning: loving myself in the mirror every morning. 2. Positive self talk: I am taking baby steps towards abundance every day. 3. Praying: done 4. Mirror work: I am beautiful. I am enough. 5. Talking to my inner child: I want you to always on my side. 6. Meditation: Love yourself. 7. Yoga mild stretching: 20 min stretching before bedtime. 8. Expressing love to and receiving love from others: I shared my feelings today with a friend. I received a compliment from friends I met today. ---- Yes, I commit to a purposeful life.
  4. Let me share with you a prayer. Hope it helps: Dear God, I come before You to lay my panic and anxiety at Your feet. When I’m crushed by my fears and worries, remind me of Your power and Your grace. Fill me with Your peace as I trust in You and You alone. I know I can’t beat this on my own, but I also know that I have You, Lord, and You have already paid the ultimate price to carry my burdens. For this I thank you, Amen.
  5. I tried that too. It's quite helpful in identifying what's in the subconscious. This is quite helpful. I think I'll include it in my limiting belief busting journal. Seems like you have done a lot into self-searching. Thank you for sharing!
  6. Small wins today: 1. Visualization in the morning: comfortable in my body. 2. Positive self talk: I have the mission of spreading love. 3. Praying: May my guilt turn toward the Truth, may Truth give way to Spirit-filled conviction, may conviction lead to appropriate repentance, and forgiveness wrapped in God's grace, and may the Lord bring about in me authentic transformation so that I may pursue living blamelessly before God and all for His glory. 4. Mirror work: I take 100% responsibility for my life. 5. Talking to my inner child: I want you to take me to explore as many experiences as possible. 6. Meditation: Let go and move on. 7. Yoga mild stretching: 5 min stretching before bedtime. 8. Expressing love to and receiving love from others: I shared the "Five Small Wins" technique in the ED group. My friend invited her boyfriend to join my Self-love Practice group. ---- Always choose the direction that benefits you. Always move away from things that do not benefit you.
  7. Hey guys, I would like to know what you write in your journal? My journal consists of four parts: 1. Gratitude; 2. Small progress I make; 3. What I've learned; 4. The life I want (just one sentence). I'm also starting a separate limiting belief busting journal because they've been haunting me for years and need some serious digging. I found a lot of inspiration from the journal section in this forum too and I've just started a self-love journal there. I would like to hear general ideas about journals and how you feel about it. Thank you!
  8. I'm struggling with many aspects of my life, but I've had some successes in shifting some of my behaviors. For instance, I used to have social anxiety, overthinking about how other people think of me. I would play out dialogues or put imagined words into their mouths. Now when I find myself doing it again, I can let it go and center myself. I think the mind is like a dog. It needs to be trained with awareness. Writing down the qualities you want and don't want is a good start. But it's like telling a dog: "Sit!" without making association between the order and the behavior. Your mind is still running wild like a hyperactive dog. I'd like to share with you some of the techniques I tried and find helpful: 1. Visualization in the morning, 5 min. 2. Collecting words of wisdom. Words are very powerful mind-bending tools that only humans have. 3. Self-love meditation. Soften your mind hard-wired with negative stories and soak in the positive energy. 4. Mirror work. Eyes and mirrors are energy magnifiers. 5. Gratitude journal. Also underrated tool for softening the mind. 6. Parts work. Let different parts inside of you speak up as if you are holding a meeting among conflicting selves. Once they are heard, they won't drain your energy from within. You won't notice much change day to day. But in the long run, you'll grow into a very different person from one aspect to another. Your description sounds very much like the parts work I do. The first time I tried it, my inner child took over my body. I cried and talked like a child and said a lot of things that I only ruminated in my mind. It was the first time I heard her say it out loud. I used to snack for distressing. After that parts work session, the craving was gone. It was like waving a magic wand. It was a feeling I never had before. My inner child has her own independent personality. I can't control what she thinks and what she says. And I realize there are many personalities inside me. I need to bring them into total awareness. Otherwise, they'll be fighting for the driver's seat and run my life into the ground.
  9. I'm not religious but I find praying words very powerful. I look for a short prayer every day and say it. It doesn't have to be anything specific. Just the words themselves are very calming. Here's what I prayed today.
  10. You have so many thoughts bottled up. I suggest you can journal your thought, however tangled, not for the sake of analyzing or reasoning, simply for the sake of letting it out. I'm very good at rumination too. I now let my inner child babble for a while every day to let off the steam. These thoughts don't have to be comprehended. They just need to be heard. What a beautiful way of describing meditation!
  11. Small wins today: 1. Visualization in the morning: A light and strong body. A purposeful career. 2. Positive self talk: I'm just a very loving person, especially when I realize that those abusive words are not true. 3. Praying: Heavenly Father, Thank you for revealing to me that I am imprisoning myself by not seeing the value and worth in your creation of me. Forgive me, Lord, for living in such a way that caused me to place more importance on the opinion of others and myself. I have doubted my ability and held myself back from being the person you desire me to be. I am under the bondage of this doubt and pray that you would release me and give me victory over it. It has robbed me of peace and joy in my life and has prevented me from living life to the fullest as a child of yours. Help me to have compassion towards myself and to see that what I perceive as weaknesses, are, in fact, blessings. May I use those blessings to help others who may also be held down by the same untruth that I have been under. Lord, help me to see myself through your eyes and to see the beauty and person as a whole that you have created. You don’t make mistakes, Lord. Please help me to value myself over anything of this world, whether it be what others think, or earthly possessions. I don’t want to live up to what I think people expect of me; I want to live up to what you desire me to be. Give me the strength to overcome and to see that I am valued. Help me to accept who I am and to have confidence in my identity through you. I pray these things in Jesus’ name, Amen. 4. Mirror work: I am beautiful. I love myself. 5. Talking to my inner child: I want beautiful dresses. I want friends. I want you to stand firmly on my side. 6. Meditation: "I am enough" meditation, talking to myself with hands over my heart. 7. Yoga mild stretching: Done. 8. Expressing love to and receiving love from others: I responded to a friend in stress in a compassionate and loving way. I see how a girl suffer from eating disorder, high blood fat, pancreas inflammation, and insomnia. I encouraged her to start a food diary to record changes day to day. ---- Every giant accomplishment is made of very small steps, and to take them one at a time like this is not weak, but precise. Thank you for your encouragement!
  12. This is really deep. I can't be alone at peace with myself because I don't like myself. I don't want to take responsibility for myself. I don't understand myself. And I expect other people to do it for me. I often feel that my life was wrong from the very beginning. I just couldn't get myself out of the rut. Oddly, the relationship with myself and loneliness changed when I sent compassion and love to two people who upset me. Their abusive words are the reflection of the demons in my own mind. They are manifested because my inner demons call out for my unconditional love. After that, I feel so much more at ease in my alone time. One of the signs is that I no longer eat mindlessly when I'm alone. It's my first experience of "suffering is blessing in disguise". Situations that upset me are situations that set me up for healing and growth.
  13. I always have to remind myself of it. I get it for now and then soon I get tangled in my stories. I think growth happens as I gently pull myself back again and again from stories to awareness. Take a step back into the awareness and watch myself suffer. In that moment, the degree to which I identify with my suffering drops instantly. My ego creates a story and she wants to share it with everyone. She gets so upset if others just don't get it. That's a mental prison I stayed in for the most part of my life so far. But I still think it's important to listen to her and be completely aware of her rather than run away from her. Otherwise I'll just meet her on the other end. Meditation of love and compassion helps a lot. It generates peace from within.
  14. Small wins today: 1. Visualization in the morning: done 2. Positive self talk: I wasn't overthinking about people's reactions. I remained quite positive throughout the day. And people were so friendly. 3. Praying: Self love praying 4. Mirror work: done 5. Talking to my inner child: When time's hard, it's particularly more important to connect with myself and sooth myself. 6. Meditation: Done. Compassion. Unconditional love. Worry and fear free for 10min. 7. Yoga mild stretching: Done. 8. Expressing love to and receiving love from others: Expressed my love to a friend. She sent love back.
  15. I'm starting this thread to keep record of the mini habits of loving myself, including: 1. Visualization in the morning 2. Positive self talk 3. Praying 4. Mirror work 5. Talking to my inner child 6. Meditation 7. Yoga mild stretching 8. Expressing love to and receiving love from others Love is the ultimate purpose and solution.