Buba

How to stop homosexuality?

100 posts in this topic

I have always been attracted only to women. Now because of psychoanalysis I started to release repressed gayness. It is awful. I feel attracted to men as well. You will say homosexuality is normal. Yes it is.  But I dont want to be attracted to men. The whole my life was constructed on brotherhood. I enjoy it. Being gay destroys my life.

Please, tell me any method which will keep me only straight. I know it sounds absurd, everybody says it is impossible to stop homosexuality. But I still have hope.

May be some kind of vizualizations or affirmations or other things or medication may help.

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@Buba Hey Buba, your fear is understandable, however I would like to suggest that your fear of becoming attracted to men actually manufactures a belief in your mind that says If I allow myself to fully feel and surrender to whatever is coming up for me at this time, I will only be attracted to men and will be changed for good. 

And thats simply not the case. You might find yourself perhaps being a little more fluid sexually or perhaps just less repressed and judgemental towards yourself and others as a result of this process, however the fear of 'your life being distroyed' is just a trick your ego is playing on you to make it scary for you to surrender to the feelings that have been repressed for so long. You can allow yourself to just relax, feel through all this, validate all your thoughts and concerns about this topic, and yet realize and see that all this is just a big transition from repression to sexual freedom, that can only make you more free, more aligned and happier with yourself and others just as you are. It's a gate-way to harmony but because your ego has been trained to fear harmony and be familiar with rigid structures and dis-harmony, it feels foreign and terrifying. So may you find courage to follow through this rite of passage into sexually free masculinity. 


Join this monthly gathering to be the resolution to the world's troubles, and not another person that perceives a reality as a project that needs constant fixing.

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23 minutes ago, Martin123 said:

@Buba Hey Buba, your fear is understandable, however I would like to suggest that your fear of becoming attracted to men actually manufactures a belief in your mind that says If I allow myself to fully feel and surrender to whatever is coming up for me at this time, I will only be attracted to men and will be changed for good. 

And thats simply not the case. You might find yourself perhaps being a little more fluid sexually or perhaps just less repressed and judgemental towards yourself and others as a result of this process, however the fear of 'your life being distroyed' is just a trick your ego is playing on you to make it scary for you to surrender to the feelings that have been repressed for so long. You can allow yourself to just relax, feel through all this, validate all your thoughts and concerns about this topic, and yet realize and see that all this is just a big transition from repression to sexual freedom, that can only make you more free, more aligned and happier with yourself and others just as you are. It's a gate-way to harmony but because your ego has been trained to fear harmony and be familiar with rigid structures and dis-harmony, it feels foreign and terrifying. So may you find courage to follow through this rite of passage into sexually free masculinity. 

Hey Martin thank you very much. Have you been in psychoanalysis? How do you know what is going on with me? What do you mean by sexually free masculinity? I dont feel masculine anymore, I feel like I am becoming more and more passive gay as I release repressed emotions.

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first of all everybody is alittle attracted both male and female so it can be just a little bit of attraction.

second, you cant really destroy parts of yourself if you want to have good life and express yourself freely. moreover being attracted to man doesnt mean that you would not have males friends and it doesnt mean that you would be attracted to them

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I don't see this is a problem, now you have double the amount of potential partners. Downsides? I don't see any.


You can't be enlightened, no one can.;)

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22 minutes ago, Spiral said:

I don't see this is a problem, now you have double the amount of potential partners. Downsides? I don't see any.

I am attracted to a man not just as active but passive as well. How come a man would like to be passive (receiver). It is so disgusting and depressing.

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1 hour ago, Buba said:

How come a man would like to be passive (receiver). It is so disgusting and depressing.

With all due respect and understanding the reality of your experience, this is just a judgement against femininity. The feminine is the receiver, and it has nothing to do with sexual orientation or gender.
You're not actually fearing homosexuality, you're fearing your own emotional needs, because they have been unfulfilled and repressed for so long. 


Join this monthly gathering to be the resolution to the world's troubles, and not another person that perceives a reality as a project that needs constant fixing.

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3 hours ago, Buba said:

I am attracted to a man not just as active but passive as well. How come a man would like to be passive (receiver). It is so disgusting and depressing.

I'm assuming you're either from a middle eastern, African or Indian culture as that train of thought seems particularly prevalent here.

Watch Leo's video on Masculinity and Feminity. Your attitude is precisely what's making you not masculine, not the hidden desire to take it up the butt. He suggests that being a true man is not being afraid of being yourself or looking "feminine" and he uses the example of openly crying in front of someone.

Think about it. You're literally scared of yourself and your emotions. How can you be a strong, fearless masculine force when the first thing that scares you in the morning are your inner thoughts?

I'm not judging you, just giving you something to think about. Fear of "gayness" is one of the most hilarious male ideas. I saw a guy on Reddit that took it to the extent that he didn't wash his dick because touching a Penis, even if it's your own, is gay.

Just own yourself. You'd be surprised how common this is. I've had bisexual thoughts before and somewhat acted on them and found out I really like women but I have repressed parts of my sexuality. Why do you think it's so common for conservative politicians to publicly demonize homosexuals only to turn out to be Gay or Bi themselves?  Watch Leo's video on self-love again, you're literally shaming and hating yourself. Accept yourself fully and your life will be bliss.

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It could be ocd, where you worry about being gay mainly because you're not. It also goes for gay people who worry they're straight. You'd need to read up on it to see if it fits you. Do you actually enjoy the feeling of being attracted to men or does it cause anxiety? 

Edited by Consept

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I've recently been doing lots to overcome similar fears of my sexuality.  I'm gay, but I significantly feared it.  I think what worked for me was a gradual process of allowing thoughts or acts to happen.  Aclimatization, so to speak.  Maybe the next time you have gay thoughts, maybe just try to allow them.  Once your comfortable with gay thought, then maybe try masturbating to them (if that's what you like or think you like), then if you've gotten comfortable with that, maybe go to a gay bar and just have a drink and leave, etc., etc., etc., 

Also, leaving room for exploration may help.  Exploration without labeling things as black/white or gay/straight.

 


"Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down"   --   Marry Poppins

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12 hours ago, Buba said:

I am attracted to a man not just as active but passive as well. How come a man would like to be passive (receiver). It is so disgusting and depressing.

Your problem is self-judgment, self-hatred, and self-fear.

The solution is, of course, Self-Love.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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If your bros are really your bros, they wont leave you because of this, you can talk about it with them if you feel like it in my opinion :) 

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36 minutes ago, bejapuskas said:

If your bros are really your bros, they wont leave you because of this, you can talk about it with them if you feel like it in my opinion :) 

If homosexuality is a tabu in his culture, then his friends would only see the years of conditioning done by parents and society, and not OP himself. You would need to strip that conditioning before speaking out loud if you wanted to discover whether they "are really your bros"

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1 hour ago, bejapuskas said:

If your bros are really your bros, they wont leave you because of this, you can talk about it with them if you feel like it in my opinion :) 

Yeah, it really depends a lot on the culture. It won't fly so well in under-developed countries with traditional cultures like the Middle East.

If your friends are stage Orange/Green or Green, it should be okay. But low Orange and below will be a problem. Blue will be a big problem.

Homosexuals basically don't exist in Blue cultures. Because they are demonized and even killed if they come forward. Blue forces a repression of homosexuality. It's a total denial.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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I am from Middle East.

It has been 10 days I try to accept myself the way I am, but I cant. I really cant love myself unconditionally. I really cant accept the fact that I may engage in passive sex.

My whole life I believed I am only into girls. This passive thing is a shock. I always dreamed marrying a girl. 

It is so unfair. I dont want to be passive. Dont I have a right? 

Do any of you have these passive gay feelings? It is so rare. I am so unlucky.

Cant I just observe the feelings and ignore them and not develop them? Will it hinder the healing?

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19 minutes ago, Buba said:

My whole life I believed I am only into girls. This passive thing is a shock. I always dreamed marrying a girl. 

It is so unfair. I dont want to be passive. Dont I have a right? 

Do any of you have these passive gay feelings? It is so rare. I am so unlucky.

For me it took roughly 8 years to accept myself as being bisexual. For a long time I had a lot of resentment towards being the passive one in sex. Im mainly dominant and don't actually enjoy anal masturbation, but with a partner its something else than just pure stimulation so occasionally I like to be the passive one.

You dont have to be passive, but be so without judgement. There are plenty of gay men who only like to be on top, and plenty of gay men who like to only be submissive.

Be as dominant as you want. If you find yourself in a gay relationship with someone who dont mind being purely bottom, then you can suggest trying out being bottom. If you dont like it, just resume being 100% dominant. Whatever the result is, you'll be one experiment richer and know a little more about yourself

Or is it that you only feel gravitation towards passive sex with men, and not dominant sex at all?

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22 minutes ago, Buba said:

I really cant accept the fact that I may engage in passive sex.

Hey @Buba. I'm under the impression that you think that this homosexual part of you is somehow going to derail your life, that you will partake in daily orgies or something. This belief is false.

If this transition is too rapid for you, rest assured that you are still under full control of your faculties and will do exactly what you want to.
You are not doing anything other than that - learning what you want to do. It does not mean that you have to do it.

Imagine thinking that mint chocolate is disgusting and awful.
Would you react so strongly if you learned that it is actually pretty tasty?
Does the fact that mint chocolate is tasty somehow imply that you will stuff your face uncontrollably with it?
Does it even mean that you have to eat it if you don't want to? No!


Understand, then, that it is not because of your righteousness that the LORD, your God, is giving you this good land to possess, for you are a stiff-necked people.
Dt 9:6

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12 hours ago, LordFall said:

Just own yourself. You'd be surprised how common this is. I've had bisexual thoughts before and somewhat acted on them and found out I really like women but I have repressed parts of my sexuality.

Did you have bisexual thoughts as a passive or active? 

Yes I am from Middle East. Dude, being passive is the collapse of my world. It is a trauma for me. If I was 17 may be I could handle it, but I am 32. I dont like the idea being passive. And I have strong desires for women, why should I develop desires for men? Cant I just ignore them?

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