khalifa

A month later after 5meo symptoms update

50 posts in this topic

41 minutes ago, flowboy said:

@pluto On the one hand you say it's all infinite intelligence, on the other hand you're saying Khalifa should have made a different choice.

Have you considered that his choice is part of that infinite intelligence?

That his path is supposed to be, whatever it turns out to be?

Yes well, Ultimately there are no should or shouldn't right/wrongs ect.. What i am simply suggesting to people is to be wiser and help one another. What's done is done but it would be nice if people actually learned from other peoples mistakes and took advice give by those who have the experience. Liberation doesn't have to be as complicated as people make it to be but some people want complicated i guess...


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31 minutes ago, pluto said:

What's done is done but it would be nice if people actually learned from other peoples mistakes

@pluto Don't abuse this thread to further your personal ideology, if all it can do is freak the person out.

You clearly have a problem with the use of psychedelics for non-'masters', as you define them. And this case fits nicely into that, for you.

But the net result is that you're making the topic starter feel like he made a mistake. Just so you can feel like you were right.

Let's focus on helping the person.

He did NOT make a mistake.

Everything is happening exactly as it's supposed to.

Trust

Edited by flowboy

** flowMAN ** Habits: { Not Smoking 9/9/19; Weekly Schedule Adherence > 50% 9/30/19; Schedule Next Day 10/01/19; Up By 5am 10/01/19; In Bed By 9pm 10/01/19; }

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1 hour ago, flowboy said:

@pluto Don't abuse this thread to further your personal ideology, if all it can do is freak the person out.

You clearly have a problem with the use of psychedelics for non-'masters', as you define them. And this case fits nicely into that, for you.

But the net result is that you're making the topic starter feel like he made a mistake. Just so you can feel like you were right.

Let's focus on helping the person.

He did NOT make a mistake.

Everything is happening exactly as it's supposed to.

Trust

Although i agree with your words, there's more to it as of right now than just going by what you say.

I am helping him in private as much as i can. i am also helping many others not fall into the same path by making them well aware of the dangers of such methods and techniques this forum openly accepts and pushes. I do not have a problem with psychedelics, they are great tools but need to be used with the highest respect and spiritual guidance. Especially ones so powerful like 5-Meo. People should take it one step at a time.

Sure, Yes you can say he did not make a mistake per say, he just made an unwise choice and others can learn from it. There's also much more to what's happening here than just a side effect to 5-Meo and Psychedelics. A lot, if not more has to do with belief system than anything else.

Guessing you missed that part?

This is why i chose to chime in cause most, even though some comments are quite helpful, in the case at hand, will not be seen in the way that is provided as they are missing the vital points to what is actually happening. Sometimes it requires a different approach and that is okay.

I know what i am doing. This is my specialty. I have helped many heal and recover from similar situations so excuse my choice in words which aren't always seen for what they are because the methods of communication are extremely limited to the type of work we do.

As you say, Trust :)

 


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@pluto  Healing ends with gratitude for the experience, the difficulty, the journey, and being happy with what you learnt from it.

Healing is when someone says: "I wouldn't have wanted it any other way."

 

Tell me, how does it help to give energy to this "mistake" paradigm (yes, call it unwise, same judgment), if the end goal is to be grateful that it happened?


** flowMAN ** Habits: { Not Smoking 9/9/19; Weekly Schedule Adherence > 50% 9/30/19; Schedule Next Day 10/01/19; Up By 5am 10/01/19; In Bed By 9pm 10/01/19; }

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Thanks for your update @khalifa it's good to hear that things are improving for you. I assure you that they will continue to do so, you just need to keep giving it time, rest, and take care of yourself. Your body and mind will naturally come back to a healthy balance, you just have to take care and allow it to do so.

You're right that everything will be gone one day. Most people don't like to acknowledge that because it's an uncomfortable truth at first. But once you do embrace it, it means you have to snap out of living life like a zombie, because every moment is a precious gift. You're fortunate to have this insight. Some people don't get it until much later in life, or perhaps never.


How to get to infinity? Divide by zero.

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On 9/8/2019 at 2:09 PM, khalifa said:

 

@hundreth  thank you! what are your thoughts on meditation as i fall asleep? would that be a problem or it's fine? I find myself accidentally meditating on my breath since I've been used to it by my muscle memory to do so in the past year, it's something my mind does all the time before falling asleep or feeling my body's weight on bed/sensations which causes me to panic since i feel the weird odd vibrations

 

It's not going to make anything worse, necessarily. If it's causing you fear, maybe work your way back into it slowly. 

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@hundreth @outlandish @pluto @flowboy

I've noticed myself worried about going to bed and if i will rest well and i wonder how long the night may go, sometimes i catch weird vibrations pulsing through my head mid day or end day which makes my mind race with worrisome thoughts, Like i'm supposed to be at bed right now or even like 8 hours ago, and i keep coming up with excuse to delay bed just because i fear the night i fear the dark, Anxiety comes over me before bed and while in bed, I'm sure it will pass(sometimes mind says it wont) but for now I'm not sure how to dodge or talk to myself i find it rather difficult to calm myself

I fear long nights and when i wake up tired i feel like crap/restless

I've survived this long doing fine, why am i so afraid confuses me, I guess i just hate the roller coaster unstability, Like i've had 3 nights for the past week where i felt like my consciousness is falling off randomly towards the front. I regret sleeping at the car while someone was driving, it felt like a learned side effect from that where my mind keeps trying to imitate no idea why! I didn't figure that out until recently, my mind seems to be messing with me and my well being, Or could this really be anxiety/kundulini's work

I still notice random fear pops up when i sleep to the side like some sort of trama of death, (honestly i have no idea why my body responds before my mind can think that thoughts)  I've been sitting at the living room with my dad while he was playing his console i noticed the fear come up it was so random, I think side lying down triggers it, not always since i've had nights sleeping like that, but i notice a significant amount of trigger chance when i do so. Lying on my stomach seems to make things worse too, At first i thought it could be just my brain/organs gets stress from the position, but i've never really faced any difficulty sleeping with any position before, i feel somewhat baffled by this.

Please kindly calm my thoughts down, Thank you

 

Edit: tried to sleep 4 hours ago, freaked out my vibration of my brain was too high with a strange noise that i'm not used to, still freaking out now : ( 

tried to distract myself with games until it calms down, it's still here no idea what to do can't sleep too anxious

Edited by khalifa

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On 9/6/2019 at 7:51 AM, khalifa said:

consciousness would travel either to the left or right while he was trying to fall asleep, It felt similar to that.

your body is duality,it seems your conscious which side its travelling. ask questions and see if you get different or similar answers.

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If this is trauma then you'll have to release it or dissolve it sooner or later. It won't go by itself. 

I think if realeasing trauma is what you need then this yin yoga would be very beneficial to you.

https://shop.eckharttolle.com/collections/kim-eng/products/presence-through-movement-yin-yoga

Also this practice for realeasing trauma similar to vipassana. 

https://shop.eckharttolle.com/collections/kim-eng/products/resist-nothing

Anyway you're in desperate condition. Could be a perfect time to try something new. Also if you want ayurvedic consultation I can arrange that for you with a 10+ years experience of medical and ayurvedic and hatha yoga teacher today. 

 

Edited by Salvijus

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@Salvijus 

5 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

Anyway you're in desperate condition. Could be a perfect time to try something new. Also if you want ayurvedic consultation I can arrange that for you with a 10+ years experience of medical and ayurvedic and hatha yoga teacher. 

is this an online thing?

 

thanks

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@khalifa if you can't sleep, try not to worry about it, and let your body rest. Even your brain and mind can rest when you just lie there, it's important to get some down time. I know it's easier said than done when you're in the middle of it. I've struggled with insomnia my whole life to some extent, and the thing I've learned over the years is just to not even give a shit if I'm not sleeping. If I really can't sleep I just get up and do something productive until I'm tired. It's never that bad the next day, if I really need to sleep, I will naturally anyways. If I'm not naturally sleeping, it just means I don't need to sleep. We tend to make it worse by fretting about it, and having the assumption that we need to be sleeping.

I'd add to stay away from screens if you're having troubles sleeping. Screens make our minds wired and less able to sleep.

You can look at it as a blessing, you have extra energy and time in your life. You can read some books.

Are you getting exercise?


How to get to infinity? Divide by zero.

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@outlandish

I take a walk everyday around an hour, I do lift weights (bicep/tricep/shoulders and do push ups/burpee home workout that's around 4minutes or so, nothing heavy

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@khalifa The walk is good, but I think you should try doing more exercise. It helps your mind and burns of excess energy too. As a species we are built to do a lot of exercise, we depend on it for our mental and physical health, and most people don't get anywhere close to enough because modern comforts etc.

Can you try to do some longer cardio activity like running, cycling or swimming on most days? For me and many other people on this forum, running is extremely therapeutic and helping us to live our best.


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Quote

Edit: tried to sleep 4 hours ago, freaked out my vibration of my brain was too high with a strange noise that i'm not used to, still freaking out now : ( 

dont be afraid of strange noise, this is just your brain shuttiing off it s  auditory center.  Every night this happens to every one, you are just conscious of it during this time so you hear it

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i managed to get used to the nights, it's been getting easier, but the last 3 days were just off and odd, i kept feeling the death sensations before falling asleep, and tonight was quite intense, i don't get it

it doesn't feel spiritual it just feels off, even as i let go i eventually reach a state where i can't take this anymore i'm just losing my sanity, i feel restless and annoyed it's just too fucking long, went out for a drive and got a subway sandwhich to ground myself some sanity and here i am posting, i'm supposed to be sleeping right now, fuck me tomorrows going to be another sleep deprived day

i guess all that's left is just let go and let go argh..

Edited by khalifa

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4 hours ago, khalifa said:

i managed to get used to the nights, it's been getting easier, but the last 3 days were just off and odd, i kept feeling the death sensations before falling asleep, and tonight was quite intense, i don't get it

it doesn't feel spiritual it just feels off, even as i let go i eventually reach a state where i can't take this anymore i'm just losing my sanity, i feel restless and annoyed it's just too fucking long, went out for a drive and got a subway sandwhich to ground myself some sanity and here i am posting, i'm supposed to be sleeping right now, fuck me tomorrows going to be another sleep deprived day

i guess all that's left is just let go and let go argh..

@khalifaIf you are ready, go read my original post to you. Message me whenever you need and I can lead you through this process to the other side. Ive done it so I know. Good things await.

Edited by Matt8800

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What you are describing is the same thing that happened to me when I first started meditating. I was terrified all the time and couldn't sleep much. I second what @outlandish said. Exercise vigorously and take care of your health. Lastly, open up to the fear. It won't go away until you are okay with it. Make it your friend, go into whatever it is that you are avoiding.

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@ivory

I do open up to fear, i can't believe i had 3x mini trips last night even almost 2months later it's just wtf, i thought it would be in control by now, i'm still struggling to sleep this really sucks, i can't even see the spirituality aspect of it honestly, feels like i have a fucked brain instead, i do let go as much as i can with what i can, when i feel like my heart feels off or is beating waaay to fast i just wake up and ground myself in something to replace fear

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uff I hope it will get better for you soon .. not being able to sleep is one of the most awful things to happen

 

honestly what my Solution would be, it may Sound crazy to you but I would take psychedelics again.

I mean it cant get much worse then its already is, and maybe dont go right into 5meo. So take some mushrooms, lsd or whatever you are comfortabel with.

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