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About khalifa

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  1. This is possible however in my current experience, I'd rather say it's temp hardware re-adjusting just for being more grounded. Or you could test it yourself if i manage to make a full recovery, I really wouldn't recommend ibogaine it's very taxing on the body, but it does help you appreciate life and the afterglow feels like your health is on steroids. Which is also reported on various other re-creational drugs (atleast the being more present/peaceful part) . But that is in my experience integrating 'being content/present' is quite simple yet ego mind makes it complicated.
  2. @Jordan94 What remedies? All he said was go see doctors about it
  3. a little more detail : Ibogiane trips are 48-72hours depending on dose, I took 5meo after 2 weeks and 2 days after my trip/2 weeks and 5 days after I consumed it. 2 strongest psychedelics in the same month is not a smart idea, I just took it lightly since most shroom/lsd trips are 2 weeks apart thought it wouldn't be as bad as this, but it's another Territory Hope this helps people to avoid it, Yet i don't know if this will apply to everyone as the same, I just hope it isn't as serious, last week has been hell for me, I did have peaceful days before it but it's been a roller coaster of ambushes out of no where I find myself more grounded to think of it as just anxiety instead of kundulini or any spirtual process, it just keeps me more sane for stabilitys sake, As for being spiritual it's been a 50 50 thing, Still not sure what to think of it or rather i can't really pin point anything at it, it's beyond mind sometimes i just think i'm better off believing in mundane life/physicality and ignoring nonphysical states/believes/altered states of consciousness
  4. Just confirmed with the nurse that ibogaine stays up in my system up to three months. Hence why i wasn't supposed to do 5meo dmt since it reacts heavily towards 5meo. As for if it's permanent damage oh boy.. we don't know yet, i'm afraid to scan my brain for it's nervous activity
  5. a good highlight when he asked shrooms questions @Zigzag Idiot thanks for the share i enjoyed the last one
  6. @shahar uriel everything that you mentioned can be improved without their use, in my experience it seems simple to do so yet we over complicate it and aren't content with being present with being (this might sound simple yet it took me a long ass time to actually get it) again it's optional to you it'll all unfold naturally with or without it
  7. @waking_dreams hey bud don't worry too much wee aren't the first ones or the last ones that may walk this phase it's just another experience/phase of life i'm pretty much going through a similar experience like yours, i just try to ground myself by saying "it shall pass" at tough moments , it's just a temporary phase we're going through rest assured you'll be fine but it'll be a rollercoaster most likely, everyone's experience is different there is no one way fit size answer for all of us since we come from different variables of perspectives experiment and see what works for you try a mantra like "it shall pass" or something you are more comfortable with to ground yourself/sanity at tough moments just do the stuff you used to like doing before all this stuff, even if it were unconscious find something you enjoy doing exercise take walks or jog/runs, hang out with people you like, family, relax in a park, maybe go to a beach if you live near by one i find walking on shore/sand feels really nice in grounding myself there, maybe even play video games or watch movies if you can handle it (for me it took me awhile since i was able to since i was just too sensitive to a lot of content that it would disturb me easily) and don't freak out if you get any new symptoms or sensations since they shall pass too as for dealing with possible new arising kundulini symptons for example, last night i've just got a new symptom out of no where, like my heads been vibrating nonstop since last night/heart started clenching in pain from time to time ( this actually has become so common it comes and goes it doesn't bother me as it used to) , but i'm still alive survived the night, so rest assured to yourself in any touch moment you face it'll be over eventually, try to drop worrying too much, since most people obsess about the phase their in that it may last forever when it will not, they make it difficult for themselves to heal up (i ceraintly am making it hard for myself but then again instinct is hard to avoid at times, so surrounding yourself with positive vibes/talks/good people may help dramatically depending on your personality of course ) sometimes i wonder if this is all really true or just some damaged nervous system/placebo beliefs/nonsense making me feel all this strange sensations about my experience good luck brother stay strong, the body/soul will heal itself give it time, take care of yourself
  8. Themes: love and enlightenment/dream “This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First, to let go of life. In the end, to take a step without feet to regard this world as invisible, and to disregard what appears to be the self. Heart, I said, what a gift it has been to enter this circle of lovers, to see beyond seeing itself, to reach and feel within the breast.” -- Rumi O I know the way you can get I know the way you can get When you have not had a drink of Love: Your face hardens, Your sweet muscles cramp. Children become concerned About a strange look that appears in your eyes Which even begins to worry your own mirror And nose. Squirrels and birds sense your sadness And call an important conference in a tall tree. They decide which secret code to chant To help your mind and soul. Even angels fear that brand of madness That arrays itself against the world And throws sharp stones and spears into The innocent And into one's self. O I know the way you can get If you have not been drinking Love: You might rip apart Every sentence your friends and teachers say, Looking for hidden clauses. You might weigh every word on a scale Like a dead fish. You might pull out a ruler to measure From every angle in your darkness The beautiful dimensions of a heart you once Trusted. I know the way you can get If you have not had a drink from Love's Hands. That is why all the Great Ones speak of The vital need To keep remembering God, So you will come to know and see Him As being so Playful And Wanting, Just Wanting to help. That is why Hafiz says: Bring your cup near me. For all I care about Is quenching your thirst for freedom! All a Sane man can ever care about Is giving Love!” ― Hafiz This is Love “This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First, to let go of life. In the end, to take a step without feet to regard this world as invisible, and to disregard what appears to be the self. Heart, I said, what a gift it has been to enter this circle of lovers, to see beyond seeing itself, to reach and feel within the breast.” -- Rumi This place is a dream. Only a sleeper considers it real. Then death comes like dawn, and you wake up laughing at what you thought was your grief. But there’s a difference with this dream. Everything cruel and unconscious done in the illusion of the present world, all that does not fade away at the death-waking. It stays, and it must be interpreted. rumki dawn dream All the mean laughing, all the quick, sexual wanting, those torn coats of Joseph, they change into powerful wolves that you must face. The retaliation that sometimes comes now, the swift, payback hit, is just a boy’s game to what the other will be. You know about circumcision here. It’s full castration there! And this groggy time we live, this is what it’s like: A man goes to sleep in the town where he has always lived, and he dreams he’s living in another town. In the dream he doesn’t remember the town he’s sleeping in his bed in. He believes the reality of the dream town. The world is that kind of sleep. The dust of many crumbled cities settles over us like a forgetful doze, but we are older than those cities. We began as a mineral. We emerged into plant life and into the animal state, and then into being human, and always we have forgotten our former states, except in early spring when we slightly recall being green again. That’s how a young person turns toward a teacher. That’s how a baby leans toward the breast, without knowing the secret of its desire, yet turning instinctively. Humankind is being led along an evolving course, through this migration of intelligences, and though we seem to be sleeping, there is an inner wakefulness that directs the dream, and that will eventually startle us back to the truth of who we are Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about. Ideas, language, even the phrase “each other” doesn’t make any sense. The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you. Don’t go back to sleep. You must ask for what you really want. Don’t go back to sleep. People are going back and forth across the doorsill where the two worlds touch. The door is round and open. Don’t go back to sleep. Remember. The entrance to the sanctuary is inside you.
  9. @Surfingthewave never experienced any of that in my life, i was always stable and sane all my life, I had few moments of being shy or slightly scared about not doing well for an exam or overthinking or if i did offend someone or not, but those pass away so fast within minutes that i didn't care much about it overtime, and they would never affect my physiology ever even if my mind kept bringing them up for hours or a few days, this seems to be on another level of sensitivity + racing mind that would it affects my overall pulse/heartbeat of my body even without thought, it can go for minutes or hours
  10. @outlandish Yeah no cannabis It's just some vegan meal replacement powder made mainly from Oats,Pea Protein, Flaxseed, Brown Rice Protein, MCT Oil that is supposed to nutritionally complete with it's nutrition profile. As for fasting, I thought it would be healing for it to be purified with increased autophagy this way hence the fasting, Isn't this common It's probably not as good as eating real food, but it's way better than eating the junk food i was on , I like it because it's convenient and easy to drink since i don't have much of an appetite these days
  11. @outlandish I'm clean very clean, I don't use any stimulants. As for my diet it used to be dirty, for a while i used to eat pizzas/burgers all sorts of junk just to ground myself to lower my vibration but still none of that worked out for me my body kept vibrating regardless to what junk i ate, and i would feel like shit/worse overtime as i ate that junk so i decided to eat cleaner recently. I've replaced my junk food with huel, i've been doing 48hour fasts for a while thinking it would help, just took a break from it for 2 weeks, and will continue to do 48s but this time my refeeds won't be junk but will drink some huel instead, will see how i feel, I just started 2 days ago. I can't really see any massive difference, I feel like i've restarted my process since 2 nights ago the heartracing felt like it reset my vibrations to be so scared, not sure if it's the huel or just a random fluke ;( @Nahm Will do, although at the time of action, when hardcore feelings arise, it's difficult to interact and remember most of this, as my instinct is so resistant, but will try to keep it simple and let go and let it unfold naturally (i've failed to do so many times no idea if i might eventually get the hang out of it)
  12. @ardacigin i'm sorry there appears to be a misunderstanding, I have not used 5meo to trip since my first use, it just comes to me and it gets trippy like without any psychedelic use, it's more of a strange mini 5meo activation but still very scary it's just an HPPD/PTSD symptom i have It used to be much stronger the first 4 days up till 2 weeks, then it started getting weaker overtime, yet it goes up like a roller coaster all of a sudden and happens over and over again in a night @Leo Gura ironically the same shit that i'm doing right now, letting go of control slowly, cherry picking small things at times, not being too attached on them if they don't go my way, loving myself as i'm aware it's all a temporary present moment, so i just trust in my process and enjoy the unfolding naturally, i go after my interests as they come up to be real like, just how i resonated with your teachings in the past strongly, but that phase has been over and i've moved on from hardcore self help practice, I feel like i have a strong base, a decent foundation to navigate life to know what i the illusionary i wants to experience and respect it for what it is and not beat up on it to die early, i feel sorry that i attacked it that hard, it clearly wasn't ready for any of this, but then again nothing is really ultimately bad so this unique road for it is still going to be great, that's what i decided i'll just take care of khalifa with some love slowly at a time, till it heals up from it's current phase and moves on to something more favorable to it while letting go of the very favorable it wants/needs. just another simple basic teaching that helps cope make mundane beautiful again imo current days go by like this for me: wake up, walking/uni/workouts/ some pc use/shower/sleep - repeat , I notice i don't have alot of social interaction besides real life university and forum use, i'm honestly content with it besides fighting for sleep at night @Nahm thank you babe, love you ❤️❤️❤️
  13. @Nahm It's just from my understanding of infinite, infinite doesn't mean love, infinite also means infinite delivery and infinite suffering, talking about it as infinite as love seems like a nice idea, i should probably believe in that placebo it would serve me good but i'm just being realistic I know it's not all dandy flowers at the end of the day ;( I wish it was, maybe i'm wrong since part of it is infinite ignorance, not knowing about itself To me conceptually, i understand that consciousness should be biased to pick more well being and love to itself and improve overtime, knowing it's alive etc, but yet again i can see aspects of itself being so destructive to itself, so that bias doesn't really stand as fact when i try to test it out, it's just so neutral nahm, i just can't see love and positive being the everything, since i'm aware there are other infinities beyond this realm that isn't just about a dualistic approach of a physical realm role play dance here beyond our current science or perspectives in this realm But it is a good card to draw out love, i mean what do we really have to lose since it's a cherry picking game in the end? sorry if i'm not understanding you, it's just bad sleep i take a while reading a big chunk of textwall and i keep forgetting what i read from time to time, atleast i'm functional but it really does take effort to process life lately, doesn't feel as natural Just as infinite love of god wins all the time, the infinite destruction of god wins too, why? because it's infinite So being happy about infinity is somewhat hard to stomach for me, but hey it's better than nothing.. Alright i'm willing to let go again, letting it unfold naturally again @Angelite my creator is a contradiction which is very neutral sometimes I wonder if that even helps, i guess in a sense that pure magic neutral is better than nothing which is nothing oh dear, back to square 1, but i do have a lot of faith in unfolding since it's the only card that i could pull and trust in since i came in this far
  14. @fridjonk thanks, I am getting better i notice some improvements, like a few symptoms that have gone away and felt like i'm being more stable, like i've lost the symptoms of being stuck in time for eternity (can't really tell it felt like 5000-10k years ) or losing my identity or consciousness traveling/zooming while staying still in the same place ( hard to explain since it's unspeakable) , Feeling super dead 24/7 (first 4days - 2 weeks were my hardest coping weeks with increased sensitivity to life, i couldn't really function/play video games or watch anything since it was unbearable) all those are gone so i'm in a lot of relief yet, it does feel difficult with the remaining ones Edit: burning spinal cord sensation is gone although it does vibrate randomly through out the day then again it's a roller coaster i thought i lost the symptoms of tripping then boom out of no where i get more than 1 in a night like heart racing for hours followed by all the loud vibrations in my head and body [measuring my symptoms to make my self feel better about the progress as i ground myself, although i feel like it may backfire] @Leo Gura I've done so much self help for years, binged on your videos / read over 30ish books from your book list, did the find your life purpose program, Done lots of youtube spirtuality/self help binge too. I'm just so sick of it i can't seem to stomach it or do that anymore, I have no more motivation for it, I used to have that drive to go for it that's why i probably spent over 10k+ hours in the past 3 years. I can't see myself going back to that since i feel like life should be simple, as i live it by my own terms and understanding with the current phase i'm in while cherry picking in a simple way of manner, no need to try hard it out or figure something out with extra brute force, just letting it unfold naturally
  15. @fridjonk no i really want to stay clean and let my body stabilize overtime, the 5meo seems to reactivate by itself randomly at night, or when i meditate, not sure why my neurons are firing randomly like that, the mdma would make my HPPD/PTSD like symptoms worse on me