VictorB02

My eye contact makes people act weird

21 posts in this topic

Everyone I talk to.. when I make I contact I can tell they get uncomfortable and insecure. I really don’t understand, I’ve been told my eyes “pierce the soul” and it seems like “I know something they dont”

does anyone have any ideas on what’s going on? 

I try to have normal conversation and it seems like everyone I talk to has this same reaction...


"The perfect man employs his mind as a mirror; it grasps nothing; it refuses nothing; it receives, but does not keep."  - Chuang-tzu

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Next time try licking your lips while making piercing long eye contact. 

Seriously though, one of the greatest freedoms in life is not caring what others think. Most people have deep insecurities. Deep eye contact shows confidence. It makes insecure people feel uncomfortable. That's not your problem. They are responsible for their own feeling and thoughts. You do you. That deep eye contact will help you find the people that are on your level, as they will appreciate that kind of intimate connection. 

Edited by Jed Vassallo

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@Jed Vassallo thanks. That’s honestly what I thought too! 

Thanks for the reply


"The perfect man employs his mind as a mirror; it grasps nothing; it refuses nothing; it receives, but does not keep."  - Chuang-tzu

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@Charlotte I have been skeptical of this. It’s not thought, its happens in my awareness, it’s almost everyone I meet. I think it has to do with maybe being awake, and not being a “shoot the breeze” person. I think maybe it scares people because it’s deep


"The perfect man employs his mind as a mirror; it grasps nothing; it refuses nothing; it receives, but does not keep."  - Chuang-tzu

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'Shoot the breeze??' Sorry that's not a term I'm familiar with. 

2 minutes ago, VictorB02 said:

"I think maybe" ((thought.))

You being awake? 

As opposed to them not? 

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@Charlotte I’m confused, I just don’t know why when I talk to people they get all weird okay 😂


"The perfect man employs his mind as a mirror; it grasps nothing; it refuses nothing; it receives, but does not keep."  - Chuang-tzu

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@VictorB02 Could be more than your eye-contact.

What is your body posture like? Is your faced relaxed and 'open'? Are you joyful/playful or serious/cold? 

Edited by Knock

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@VictorB02  All the insecurities that you feel are your „fault“, same with others, but this is kind of unpractical. xD Are you at the same time trying to understand them and have a deep talk, or are you just kind of being weird while doing this eye gazing? :D 

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same here! 

I've been told many times that I have penetrative glance and they laugh at my way of looking directly :)

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@VictorB02 long story short I was trying to point to the fact I think you're doing this to yourself. 

You ((maybe)) have placed yourself ((correct me if I'm wrong)) in a self actualisation pedestal thus thinking/projecting that whoever you're sat in company with is uncomfortable because you are so 'awake' and they're not. You also said you're not a 'shoot the breeze' type of person meaning you don't engage in what you perceive as small talk, so what are your judgements about others that do? 

Read back your OP and try and see what I've seen. 

I also could be talking shit loads of bullshit but... Only you know. 

 

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It is amazing how we can read minds through looking people into the eyes... Once a girl told me that I seem exttremely serious and started laughing, I wonder what that tells me about myself... xD

 

ramanamaharshi.jpg

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I know that we communicate in so many more ways than just words and body language. Our eye contact communications volumes.

If you're feeling a certain way during eye contact, the other person will feel it - whether or not they understand it.

A practice I do that I think would help - try to make positive thoughts, like "wow you have pretty eyes." or "you're actually a lot of fun to be around" in the middle of eye contact and those thoughts will always transfer over as feelings.

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16 hours ago, VictorB02 said:

Everyone I talk to.. when I make I contact I can tell they get uncomfortable and insecure. I really don’t understand, I’ve been told my eyes “pierce the soul” and it seems like “I know something they dont”

does anyone have any ideas on what’s going on? 

I try to have normal conversation and it seems like everyone I talk to has this same reaction...

Dont rule out that you are holding eye contact too long. People find that socially awkward and strange. Look away very quickly and then make eye contact again. 

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I think cell phones also have had an effect on eye contact in the past couple decades. People have an excuse to look down at their phone instead of maintaining healthy eye contact

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It’s good to be aware of our intent when holding eye contact, like are you listening intently or simply acknowledging a stranger on the street? Be aware of their response as if can often tell you something to reflect on.  

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@VictorB02 Interestingly enough, I just watched a Youtube video from Charisma on Command "How to Turn Awkwardness into Confidence" that talks about appropriate levels of eye-contact.

As an aside, they also had a really great rule #4, which I found ever more profound. Direct quote:

"99% of the awkward situations you will encounter in your life, are made worse because you are fighting to be perceived in a certain way. If you would just let go of managing peoples opinions of you most of the awkwardness would disappear. So if you are ever feeling awkward, just ask yourself 'what perception am I fighting right now?' And then relax, knowing that it is only a perception of you, because your deepest confidence is not based on controlling the perceptions of others, but in embracing the truth of who you are."

Sorry if this hijacks the thread, I just really liked that video and couldn't help my projection. xD:ph34r:

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