You guys are so misunderstanding this place..

[Truth Addict]

SELF-IMPROVEMENT FORUM.

Read that once again.

I see a lot of people here always getting offended and then getting defensive about themselves, like someone is trying to hurt them.

Well, guess what. You're stuck.
You, yes you. Specifically, the one who thinks that they are above and excluded from this.

This place is not meant to be a place for rainbows and unicorns. If you want those things, then go get a best friend, a girlfriend/boyfriend, a wife/husband, whatever. Those are the people who are supposed to provide you with comfort.

You have to understand that we are here to learn, and help each other learn. Stop being a victim and take responsibility for your expectations. Nobody here is against you, nobody here is trying to hurt you, you are the only obstacle, because you are not willing to learn.

I'm not saying you can't make friends here. Human connection is essential, and relationships are important and beautiful. There is not a single rule in this forum against forming relationships, you can certainly find friends here who share your interests. But you have to understand that this is not THE place for those things, Facebook, for example, is.

This is a place for developing yourself as an individual human being, learning about yourself, learning about others, learning about the world, learning, learning, learning, and most importantly, learning.

If you want to become the best version of yourself, then drop your defences, stop resisting, and start taking criticism and appreciating it. In fact, the most growth comes from criticism, since our views are always partial.

However, if you don't want to become the best version of yourself, then keep your mind closed, reject every single piece of advice or criticism that comes your way, and keep defending yourself and your ideas mindlessly.

This feminine soft love that you love to receive can only take you so far. True growth requires integration of masculine love as well.

Both feminine and masculine are parts of you, deny one and suffer.

I'm not saying I am perfect. I myself am still learning how to integrate my feminine side, and I'm learning how to become more careful with my communications with others, whether here or in the real life. And I clearly still have a lot to learn.

I hope some of you will add to what I said so I can broaden my understanding and perspective, and so that others can benefit more.

Now, there are two options...

You can either reject everything I said here, stay in your comfort zone, keep your mind closed, and argue with me about this.

Or, you can listen to me as if I'm your best friend who wants the best for you and is trying to help you out of this trap that we all can fall prey to it from time to time.

Your choice.

P.S. the truth is that which you hate the most.

P.S. It's the ego that is feeling threatened and resisting criticism.

Edited May 24, 2019 by Truth Addict

[mandyjw]

 Well said. This is really, really important. 

I think some of us were cut out to be masculine teachers and others more feminine ones. I always balanced my Leo Gura with Eckhart Tolle. They are both male, but that doesn't matter. It's like the good cop bad cop routine. It's much more complicated than that in a community with many people of course, but we all need each other. 

[Truth Addict]

@mandyjw ❤️

Your videos are clearly a great manifestation of feminine love. They and you are helping me.

Edited May 24, 2019 by Truth Addict

[jbram2002]

@Truth Addict We're all already perfect. But we're all also really fucked up and imperfect. It's interesting balancing those two ideas in one's mind. I definitely appreciate your post though. 

Somehow, people don't appreciate when I say I'm perfect though . What I mean is that I am okay with who I am. I am what I Should be. However, that doesn't mean I can't improve. I can list off a hundred things that I can improve, and I'm working on several of them constantly. There's a difference between being content and being complacent.

I love you. And you suck.

[Truth Addict]

@jbram2002 Haha! I love you too ❤️

It's very important for me to realise that I inherently suck. Otherwise your attempts to help me will be like talking to a wall. Or even worse, like triggering an ox with a red flag.

[arlin]

Hey hey hey.

it's me who sucks the most here,im a newbe   

Jokes apart, yes i agree...

But somebody here misunderstand things and gets depressed.

[Truth Addict]

6 minutes ago, arlin said:

But somebody here misunderstand things and gets depressed.

I was disappointed. I expressed my disappointment, and then let it go.

[tsuki]

Sigh... ♠️

[Shadowraix]

Definitely. But also remember those traps are part of the process too. You've gotta experience and be it to overcome it. So there will be a lot of egoic mechanisms displayed. That's what really shows us as newly budding actualizers. All a part of the journey. 

[Truth Addict]

@Shadowraix Absolutely ?

But I also believe we can learn from each other's experiences, and that we don't necessarily all have to fall in the same traps. Someone falls and then gets out, and then posts a sign telling others to watch out.

Edited May 24, 2019 by Truth Addict

[Shadowraix]

12 minutes ago, Truth Addict said:

@Shadowraix Absolutely ?

But I also believe we can learn from each other's experiences, and that we don't necessarily all have to fall in the same traps. Someone falls and then gets out, and then posts a sign telling others to watch out.

Agreed. Good stuff. ?

[Commodent]

I disagree with your notion that defenses is some inherently bad thing. It's often driven to excess yes, especially in our Western society, but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing. A lot of people might even benefit tremendously from learning to stand up for themselves. You can be a narrow-minded tyrant, or you can be a defenseless slob unable to accomplish anything in the world. Like all things, it's about balance.

[Inliytened1]

Life is a delicate balancing act.

[Truth Addict]

@Commodent ?

Nothing is bad in an absolute sense.

Sometimes we have to protect ourselves, it's fine.

However, that becomes problematic when we do it deliberately and repeatedly until we stop seeing our biases towards ourselves against the truth. Therefore we get stuck in closed-mindedness and we stop learning and growing.

Protection is essential. Yet, growth implies deconstructing the old and building something new. That's how our bodies work, and that's how the whole universe works. I think it's best to align ourselves with the universe in this case.

[Inliytened1]

@Truth Addict cool Avatar

 

[Truth Addict]

4 hours ago, Inliytened1 said:

@Truth Addict cool Avatar

Thank you @Inliytened1 it's actually me. I'm a photographer in real life. I took that picture of myself a year ago.

And absolutely, life is a delicately balancing act ?

@Jonson Ban this infidel @abrakamowse immediately!

[abrakamowse]

@Truth Addict !!!! We exorcise you, every impure spirit,  every satanic power, every incursion of the infernal adversary, every legion,
every congregation and diabolical sect. Thus, cursed demon and every diabolical legion, we adjure you. Cease to deceive human creatures, and to give to them the Poison of Eternal Perdition.

 

[7thLetter]

@Truth Addict This is just an assumption of mine, but I feel that one of my recent threads about having a "Corrective Attitude" has something to do with this thread. Yes or no?

If yes, I wasn't being defensive in that post. I was pointing out a trap that I fall into often, where I would correct people in a specific way. Specifically in a way where I would be harshly critical and blunt towards others to try and "change" them. And I was looking for answers, "Does it actually help others?" Is it actually effective or not?

Also, I posted it to shed some light on how we should present our criticisms. Because it definitely makes a difference whether we criticize others in a blunt and asshole type of way, and a more gentle and caring way.

[Truth Addict]

@7thLetter

I have read your thread about correctiveness, I guess two days ago.

You missed the whole point of my OP.

This forum is a place for criticism and correctiveness. It's not a place for comfort. You don't go to a restaurant to sleep there. That's what I'm saying.

However, I wasn't even correcting anyone. I showed my perspective and experience with criticism, and gave the conclusion that there are two ways to understanding it.

If you do A, you get B.

If you do -A, you get -B.

It's my observations, and everyone is free to take them or leave them. It's their life and they're free to lead it.

@abrakamowse ?

Edited May 24, 2019 by Truth Addict

[7thLetter]

@Truth Addict Yeah and what I'm saying is that maybe we need to be more mindful of how we present our criticisms towards others.

Nobody likes people who are critical in an arrogant way. They will most likely be open to their criticisms if they weren't so arrogant. Not saying that a lot of people here tend to be arrogant, but I do see it a few times.