Dating is a distraction

[Butters]

What's the point of dating? The whole operation is not genuine because it is ultimately driven by people's reproductive desires. You're not genuinely broadening your horizons when there's a dating partner involved because the underlying urges drive a lot of it. Else you can just get a dog and move on. 

And since the whole venture is corrupted, it's a distraction. You will almost certainly get sucked into this unconscious behavior together. The whole escaping comformity Leo talks about? Get ready for more of it, much more conformity when dating. Much more lower consciousness. That's another thing: you're entering into a giant pool of normie, low consciousness gunk. It's very unlikely your dating partners value truth, insight or thinking for themselves. People don't care about those things. 

Idk maybe I'm cynical. Can we all agree dating is not expanding your consciousness because of it's thick survival bias? It begs the question: why date at all? To me it's a headache, more admin. I don't want kids, so what's the point? 

[Majed]

@Butters This is self deception. Unless you're asexual, you need to mate and date, don't kid yourself. 

Not everything is done for high consciousness purposes, sometimes you just need pragmatism to solve a concrete problem. 

[something_else]

13 minutes ago, Butters said:

Idk maybe I'm cynical. Can we all agree dating is not expanding your consciousness because of it's thick survival bias?

It seriously developed me as a person. If you neglect your social life you’ll probably be miserable. If you neglect sex and dating you’ll probably be miserable too. There are ways to do these things more consciously without completely rejecting them

[Someone here]

You answered your own question in the first sentence. It’s wired into our biology .

[bazera]

46 minutes ago, Butters said:

Idk maybe I'm cynical. Can we all agree dating is not expanding your consciousness because of it's thick survival bias? It begs the question: why date at all? To me it's a headache, more admin. I don't want kids, so what's the point?

Maybe to experience more vulnerable part of yourself? 

Being in an intemate relationship forces you to be vulnerable. Even attraction phase forces you that, to face life and survival proactively. It's not a medium for expanding consciousness, but there's survival value in it. 

It can come with a lot of drama though, which is the reason I don't date at the moment, but I can see some value in it. Not the highest value for sure.

Do you only do things in life that supposedly increase your consciousness?

[Sincerity]

1) Everyone has a want for connection, so unless you’re satisfying it yourself through connection to Reality/God/Yourself, you will crave a connection with a person.

2) Intimate relationships grow you, if you seriously engage in them.

[Rafael Thundercat]

2 hours ago, Butters said:

The whole escaping comformity Leo talks about? Get ready for more of it, much more conformity when dating. Much more lower consciousness. That's another thing: you're entering into a giant pool of normie, low consciousness gunk. It's very unlikely your dating partners value truth, insight or thinking for themselves. People don't care about those things

So dont date low-cosncious woman. 

[Valach]

Dating can be distraction. You have to develop self awareness into why you even want to be dating. What are you seeking and why?

[Jirh]

Dating is the pathway towards the deepest forms of bonding and human connection.

[LordFall]

You can use it as a distraction or as a muse towards actualizing your greatest potential. The dating market is so ruthless that it exposes most of your shadows and weak psychology so I think it's really one of the best self-development tools we have as humans.

Bonus point that it's so fun and great and boobs my friend. Think about the spiritual profundity of that. 

Edited 22 hours ago by LordFall

[Raze]

What's the point of breathing? The whole operation is not genuine because it is ultimately driven by people's living desires. You're not genuinely broadening your horizons when there's breathing involved because the underlying urges drive a lot of it. Else you can just stop breathing and move on. 

And since the whole venture is corrupted, it's a distraction. You will almost certainly get sucked into this unconscious behavior. The whole escaping comformity Leo talks about? Get ready for more of it, much more conformity when breathing. Much more lower consciousness. That's another thing: you're entering into a giant pool of normie, low consciousness gunk. It's very unlikely your breathing will value truth, insight or thinking for yourself. People who breath don't care about those things. 

Idk maybe I'm cynical. Can we all agree breathing is not expanding your consciousness because of it's thick survival bias? It begs the question: why breath at all? To me it's a headache, more admin. I don't want to live, so what's the point? 

[bazera]

@Raze Dude, did you just really compare breathing to relationships?

Edited 21 hours ago by bazera

[Yimpa]

5 hours ago, Butters said:

The whole operation is not genuine because it is ultimately driven by people's reproductive desires

This is not true for me. I have no interest in having children, but I do desire do date others and getting to know them more.

[Yimpa]

23 minutes ago, bazera said:

@Raze Dude, did you really compare breathing to relationships?

 

[Yimpa]

6 hours ago, Butters said:

What's the point of dating?

 

[Butters]

Eating food and dating aren't the same. With food it's very low effort to just eat and move on. With dating comes a whole social entanglement and now you're playing that game. Nothing wrong with it, but it's unavoidable.

You can't have two conscious beings just interfacing, that is not a romantic relationship. A relationship is exclusive. You have a relationship with person A means NOT with person B. This always comes with social games. It's separation, exclusion, survival. 

Breath can be used for spiritual development. Dating, I don't see it. But I notice I'm closed off to it at this moment. I'm just cynical about other people's developmental levels, which probably isn't a great quality but hey.  I should be aware that this could turn into a self fulfilling prophecy.

Fyi I've had one long term relationship, that was fine, not open to it now and casual dating is also kinda lame.

Edited 7 hours ago by Butters

[Ulax]

20 hours ago, Butters said:

What's the point of dating? The whole operation is not genuine because it is ultimately driven by people's reproductive desires. 

I agree. Its why I find friendship is a much more beautiful than romantic relationships.

Re dating generally, I hate normie dating. Only pickup really appeals to me.

[bazera]

4 hours ago, Butters said:

Eating food and dating aren't the same. With food it's very low effort to just eat and move on. With dating comes a whole social entanglement and now you're playing that game. Nothing wrong with it, but it's unavoidable.

You can't have two conscious beings just interfacing, that is not a romantic relationship. A relationship is exclusive. You have a relationship with person A means NOT with person B. This always comes with social games. It's separation, exclusion, survival. 

Breath can be used for spiritual development. Dating, I don't see it. But I notice I'm closed off to it at this moment. I'm just cynical about other people's developmental levels, which probably isn't a great quality but hey.  I should be aware that this could turn into a self fulfilling prophecy.

Fyi I've had one long term relationship, that was fine, not open to it now and casual dating is also kinda lame.

I have to agree with this.

But also we can't deny that there's a deep conditioning in most of us to mate. All the cultural stuff that we add on top can be ignored, but there are some cravings that can't be ignored that easily. 

What do you think, what forms of relationships would you like to engage after all that? You said casual dating is kinda lame, what does that leave you with?

[Butters]

1 hour ago, bazera said:

What do you think, what forms of relationships would you like to engage after all that? You said casual dating is kinda lame, what does that leave you with?

I think I'm just being impossible with this. I just fantasize about stuff, like a hopeless romantic. I really enjoy my current life which is full of little interactions, that's mostly my social life now and I'm happy with it. 

Perhaps a girl to explore together with since I'm here in Thailand. But at the end my fantasies are just that. People have flaws and relationships arent perfect. For now I'm choosing to just think about these things instead 😝

What about you?

Edited 2 hours ago by Butters

[bazera]

20 minutes ago, Butters said:

I think I'm just being impossible with this. I just fantasize about stuff, like a hopeless romantic. I really enjoy my current life which is full of little interactions, that's mostly my social life now and I'm happy with it. 

Perhaps a girl to explore together with since I'm here in Thailand. But at the end my fantasies are just that. People have flaws and relationships arent perfect. For now I'm choosing to just think about these things instead 😝

What about you?

We ended my last long term thing with a girl last year and since then I've realized that I was craving single life, so right now I'm enjoying it 

I don't envision myself having family or kids, so I don't really care about dating much these days. I have friends in 30s that are in urgency because they want to start a family soon, but since I don't, I don't feel any urgency. And also, at this point in my life I'm hyper focused on other things I'm building or wanna build, so I don't have much time for relationships. Also they take emotional work as well, and I need my stable drama-free life at the moment. Relationships are source of drama (maybe not all, most). I can enjoy that, but not always.

As for the future, I'm not really sure. As you mentioned there are lots of fantasies around intimate relationships and you need to kinda be willing to indulge in those, which I don't wanna be doing currently.