I'm done pursuing women

[AION]

When you need water , the right thing to do is not ignore your thirst because it will make things only worse. Getting a good job and such won’t get you a girl either. You just need somebody to show you where the water is. Because you have a lot of false beliefs about it. 

[Zenterus]

Brother, what you're experiencing is a result of you being attached to the outcome rather than the process.

Let's talk facts:

If you interacted with a 100 attractive women in a direct, flirtatious manner, at the very least a couple of them would reciprocate.

That is a fact.

So you can find love in the process of going out there and sifting through to find those girls or you can get attached to little crushes and get crushed.

And believe me, brother, there is a deep love that you can find for the number's game of dating. Im a veteran in this shit so I am indifferent to it now, but I can remember how I felt about it back in the day..

There's a beauty in going out there, interacting with various women, expressing yourself to them, connecting with them, handling lack of compatibility, the texting, the lessons, the grit that the process puts you through at times, etc.

I used to have a deep love for that shit and if you trust the process and believe in your ability to get amazing results at the end of it all, then it might spark a love for it in you too.

Good luck out there.

 

[Jirh]

Let alone women.

I'm done with humanity.

Can't connect with anyone.

I'm just lonely wherever I go.

[Olaf]

@Meeksauce When I was around 20 or so, I used to feel the same way as you. I was angry at women instead of working on myself. I thought I was doing everything right, I thought that it was the woman's problem. Looking back on it, I was a bit immature. It was easy to feel like a victim instead of taking accountability. It was easy to feel hurt and pain, instead of gaining confidence over time.

When you start to understand what works, which is to gain confidence. You start to see that I can either bitch about why woman are not choosing me OR I can actually do something about it and start approaching woman. Also delayed gratification is important, like you might have to work on your confidence for a few years, depending on how bad it is right now.

Being angry at woman only helps you to get more angry at woman, it won´t help you get to have good connections with woman. This desperation for woman to acknowledge you will all go away, it is just a question of when you will start to do the actual work. Which is to approach, talk to many woman, learn how to attract woman and not be focused on one single crush, there are much better woman out there then just your crush, trust me. 

[Schizophonia]

Cosmetic surgery if you're unattractive .

[Majed]

@Meeksauce Dude you shouldn't wait months on end to talk to a woman. That's improper game. Talk to her immediately. 

[Miguel1]

The truth also is that getting good at game is brutal, we should remember to remain sympathetic to OJ.

And the reward is not often a great GF.

[Terell Kirby]

10 hours ago, Meeksauce said:

I don't hate women, I love them, but when you face so many rejections without any success it turns you spiteful and bitter.

Gotta reframe rejections.

Think of getting 1000 no’s before you get your first yes and it’ll completely change your approach. It’ll all be well worth it in the end. Don’t give up hope

[Joshe]

If you’re average or above average in looks, erase “game” from your mind. It puts you at a psychological disadvantage and takes the fun out of it. Trying to run some system as opposed to relying on your own intuition in the flow is artificial and stifling. 

Game tells you to be imposing. And sure, if you approach 100 girls, you’ll increase your odds of sex, but this is no fun at all. Also, there’s nothing wrong with having a crush. In fact, that’s organic attraction, not some desperate ploy to get your dick wet. Nothing wrong with the latter, but crushes are more fun, especially when you actually do get your dick wet. To finally get that piece you’ve been working on and dreaming about for the last few months is much more fun than sexing some random you don’t even really know.

Anyway, back to being imposing. “Be assertive” “Be direct” “Make a move”. My tact was always the exact opposite of this because I noticed it didn’t work. Of course, there might come a time for these, but IME, usually not. Usually, attraction leads to getting the dick wet without ever having to be direct at all. 

Rather than approaching 100 girls, run a long-form seduction on 20 girls at the same time. Hard to not get pussy when you’re swimming in chummed waters. 

The key is to spend time around women in loose social environments and to be unimposing, yet a bit mysterious and interesting. This is literally like 80% of it. You might let the attraction build over a dozen encounters, or even more if you detect no interest at all. Sounds like you were already doing this, but it’s all about subtlety and calibration. 

Long-form seduction might be a good name for it. After many interactions, there’s nothing quite like the moment she looks at you and finally let’s you know it’s time to kiss her. All without ever being talked about or you asking for her number. 

This doesn’t work for recluses. I mean, it can, but it’s hard to seduce your barista behind the counter of her workplace. Loose social environments are the waters to swim in.

There is a reason why in the movies, 99% of sex scenes don’t culminate from a guy having asked for a number or making his attraction explicit in some other way. The way it works is attraction builds covertly, behind the scenes until it leads to kissing. No asking for phone numbers. IME, getting the number almost always came AFTER the kiss, not before. 

For the love of God, just put yourselves around women and learn how to calibrate your shit. This is how getting laid has worked for centuries. 

Op, you just learned what didn’t work. This is calibration data. Being direct didn’t work. You could have executed perfectly and it still not work. Once you made this move, you revealed your position, which severely constrains your maneuverability. Get good at reading the situation. And next time, don’t be direct. Instead, play interesting, subtle, escalating games. At each escalation, you're waiting on a signal to advance. Your job is to make that signal fire. 

When the signal fires, that doesn’t mean it’s time to seal the deal. It means it’s time to advance - time to make your seduction a little less subtle, but still not overt. Rinse and repeat on each signal fire until the most obvious next advance is tongue in mouth. But also, you have to allow each escalation sufficient time and not be in a hurry to reach the next one.

It's close to time to seal the deal when she starts getting closer to you and getting physical, touching your face, hitting you, etc. I suppose the best barometer is noticing how often she closes the distance between you two, and with what energy.  The distance is the tell and the energy is your calibration data. Reciprocate her actions. Never go out of  your way more than she does but let her see you'll go out of your way if she will. The dance ensues.

I was once standing at a crowded bar, drunk off my ass. Some girl I never seen before came up from behind me and reached into my pockets to take my keys out so I couldn't drive. No idea how she knew where my keys were. If a girl reaches into your pocket with playful energy, that means she's ready, lol. Probably because she saw me sitting with two other girls earlier and she could tell they were evaluating me. The girl who reached into my pocket made the other girl jealous. Had sex with both of them. Never cold approached, never asked for a phone number. Just building attraction in a loose social environment. Ahh, the good ole days. Oh and guess what, I was wearing dirty pants and shirt from having stopped at the bar after getting off work from my construction job. Dirty as fuck. All this "dress to the 9s" act like this, act like that. It's  all bullshit. So yeah, you should give up "game". 

Also, keep in mind some girls are just weird af. And some aren't sure themselves of how the process works and will play oddball games because of it. 

Edited 2 hours ago by Joshe

[AION]

Probably the best advice is to just be social and not aim for sex, because if you can't be social, you are probably weird because you are aiming too much to get something from her. They are focused on the wrong things. This is the consistent pattern with incels. I have couple of incel friends so I know their inner world.

Can't tell a thristy man to stop being thristy. You just have to let him be and suffer. The other day I invted a friend, I  invited him to go the beach but he didn't want to go because he hadn't shaved his back. I said nobody cares. But he cared because he wants to get a gf.

This guy is bald and can't hold a conversation but he thinks shaving his back will get him a gf. He never had a gf. This shallow mindset is much more off putting than any body hair. But no way he gets it.

Some people are just not meant to breed:

3/5 (60%) of all men did not reproduce, meaning only about 2/5 (40%) passed on their genes. By contrast, roughly 4/5 (80%) of all women successfully reproduced, resulting in modern humans being descended from twice as many unique female ancestors as male ancestors.  

Historcally most males didn't breed. And nature has good reasons for this.

Edited 8 hours ago by AION

[something_else]

@Joshe This has generally been my experience as well. I have always found that the more I tried to think about game or pickup frameworks and apply concepts from them, the worse I was actually perceived by women. I've always done better by not overthinking it, focusing on improving my social skills, making friends, going to social places with lots of girls.

[Oppositionless]

@Meeksauce doesn't sound like you asked her out. Maybe she doesn't even know you're into her? Is this someone you've known for awhile? Chances are she has no clue you're interested or maybe she sort of suspected it but now it's been so long she assumes not anymore.

I make the same mistakes tho. I have this mental block where I don't ask women out, altho part of it is the women I'm attracted to are part of my spiritual community, and if I go to bars I usually get too shitty so I avoid them at least for now . I'm a bit too passive I think , I want them to come to me.

I think if I just had a sober wingman it would be so much easier 

Edited 1 hour ago by Oppositionless

[Meeksauce]

13 hours ago, Jirh said:

Let alone women.

I'm done with humanity.

Can't connect with anyone.

I'm just lonely wherever I go.

Me too