Does any man here feel like a woman in a man's body?

[Never_give_up]

I am ashamed of writing this but I hope this community won't judge me.

I don't like my role as a man. I don't want to die at wars, protect, provide. I don't want to fight other men for stupid reasons. I want to have fun. I want to be cared and yes even protected. I want to have fun like women do. Even sexually I am very submissive. I don't know what's wrong with me but I feel if I pretend that I don't want all these things I actually am not real to myself and if I try to act as a man I dysfunction.

I am straight and have some masculine traits but not many. I am more of a woman than a man. 

I swear if I could switch my gender I would do it but with current technology we can't do that completely so there is no way I will become a trans (I am not saying trans women aren't women but that's my personal opinion). 

How do I live in this harsh world that doesn't understand men like me. Most people try to shame me for not being a manly man and the rest don't care. I mean it's good they don't care , it's their choice, but what do I do?

Does any other man feel like me or I am an exception? I have never heard of any other man say stuff like this even online, so I don't know how this will be percieved, I am kinda anxious posting this. I am even ashamed to talk like this to my psychologist, but I will probably take the step and do it. 

 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

That would mean you would have to know what it feels like to be in woman's body

No judgement at all.

You do not have to define yourself in any way. You do not have to conform to any external standards set by society. Although, I do understand the difficulty in going against the grain. When you fly in the face of expectations, life can be harder, as you challenge others notions of what it means to be 'such and such' just by existing. 

It's a them thing, not a you thing.

I have met many men who express similar sentiment to yourself. 

What does it mean to you, to have 'fun like a woman?'

[Never_give_up]

@Natasha Tori Maruthank you for answering this question. So there are other men like me out there?

I can't explain it what having fun like a woman means. But it seems to me that women are light hearted, like they know the meaning of life is to have fun with friends, not to be brutal like men. They create deeper connections and care for each other. Also society lets them be more expressive and have fun. I really wish I was a woman, both because of their biology and the way society let them be free.

[Hojo]

Yes, people call me gay when I was a child because I stand like a woman.

We are all men and woman.

You can switch your gender and still have a body of a man, theres no reason you do anything with your body. Gender has nothing to do with your body besides the biology.

Put on some daisy dukes and go suck on a lollipop bro. Do whatever you want.

You can be just as free as a woman you dont need a different body.

Edited 14 hours ago by Hojo

[Adam M]

I understand what you mean. 

I just want to caution you on thinking that maybe your life would be better if you were a woman.

If you're wanting the light hearted and free spirited way of living, that's totally normal and cool as a man. 

I'm a man who's also in touch with his feminine side. You can do both masculine and feminine!

[Never_give_up]

@Hojo @Adam MThank you for your answers. It seems I am not the only one thinking like that or at least I am not percieved as completely weird person. I feel better , thank you. 

[Osaid]

7 hours ago, Never_give_up said:

How do I live in this harsh world that doesn't understand men like me.

Harsh is the expectations and assumptions about what you are which are pushed onto you. Not the world.

The more that "trying to fit in" is let go of, and the more that being authentic and true to yourself is allowed, the more the people who shame you will naturally vanish, and the more the people who resonate with your authentic self will naturally appear.

[caspex]

Your post gave me an insight into who I was 3 years ago. I used to be a lot more feminine back then and frankly that helped me with my spirituality.

I used to struggle a lot with thinking "Why am I not manly?" "I want to be a true man!". I used look at men in TV shows and anime could never relate to their bravery because I did not know what it felt like to be a man.

I think gender inside is highly fluid. In the past 3 years I managed to become a 'true man' within myself. I feel like a man right now. I don't want to complain and I want to take on responsibility. 'FUN' for me means relieving my stress. Everything I do is for the sake of duty towards the world and myself.

When I achieved this I felt amazing, but reading your post now makes me feel I left a very big part of me back there. I used to be a woman too. Being a woman is such an upgrade to spirituality by the way and life is so much more dynamic. 

You do not need any fixing, nor are you out of alignment. The best thing to do for you is to explore your femininity. Just because you are not a woman doesn't limit you in exploring your femininity. Even most women don't go deep into their own femininity. You don't have to be a woman to master your femininity. 

 

Actually the biggest trap for you would be to think you are trapped as a woman inside a man's body. The truth is you are neither male nor female. It'd also be a big trap to romanticize being a woman. You have to take responsibility even as a woman, you have to do a lot of manly things even as a woman. This is because despite the existence of gender roles, both functioning men and women need to be in touch with both their masculine and feminine sides. 

I'd advice every human to develop both of their feminine and masculine sides before settling into what they like best. 

 

The thing with society is, the freedom you likely desire would not be available even to women. Your issue might go deeper than simply being feminine or masculine.

[LastThursday]

10 hours ago, Never_give_up said:

Does any other man feel like me or I am an exception?

Most definitely you're not an exception. There's a whole spectrum of gender from ultra male to ultra female, and everything in between. Biology, gender, sexual orientation, those things don't necessarily align, even if society wants to pretend it does.

There's a higher chance if you're autistic that you're more gender fluid, but I forget where I read that factoid, some study or other.

In short the tension you feel is between what you feel you are/should be and how society thinks you should be. To resolve that tension you'll need to engage with who you think you are more strongly. Start off gently, experiment, test the waters.

[Never_give_up]

@Osaid @caspex @LastThursday Thank you all, I didn't expect so much understanding and acceptance. Thank you. 

[Alexop]

I saw some trans women that look quite convincing! I mean some will notice but if you do it well and find the right doctors it might work. 

Another option would be to opt for a queer identity so people won't try to put you in the "man" box. That might mean you can create a kind of confusing appearence and people will not categorize you instantly.

Personally I am very masculine so I want to be perceived as a man, but I get it. For people like you, being perceived as a protector and leader and safety net might not be what you wish.

Edited 5 hours ago by Alexop

[Basman]

Sounds like you just don't want the responsibility that comes from being a man. Getting shit done, basically and being a provider of value. Women also provide value but its more intrinsic through beauty and breeding. There's no free lunch. Men have to become something to a much greater degree though.

You'll eventually be forced to be responsible for your survival. You can't be a kid forever. But you have the opportunity to choose what that's gonna look like. In the past, you'll be coal miner if that was your lot. You wouldn't have the time to even think about any of this stuff.

Edited 3 hours ago by Basman