The mediocrity of the average person is horrifying

[Monke]

I recently went on a couple dates with a girl who lives at my apartment. 

She's sweet enough and a good, kind-hearted person, but I began to realize on the first date that she didn't really do much outside of her nine-to-five accounting job and getting drunk with her friends at bars and clubs on the weekend. No ambition, no striving, and no interest in anything of any importance whatsoever. By the second date I realized that she was actually not joking when she said all she does after work is scroll on TikTok, drink wine in her apartment, and gossip with her friends.

The most shocking part of it was not the fact that she lived this way, but the fact that she was genuinely satisfied with this. She was not saving money for a big life move, planning to travel, painting or exploring art/music, etc. Nothing. Zero. We had a good time and some laughs but i can't take her seriously because she has zero interest in growth whatsoever. Which to me is utterly insane.

I have made a lot of progress with my personal development but I often find myself utterly dumbfounded and then extremely frustrated with people like this. Why do they not care about important things? Why do they only care about trivial nonsense, petty drama, gossip, tiktok, etc.? To me this has been an obvious trap since I was like 10 years old. I remember feeling this exact way towards the vast majority of my peers in school as early as 5th grade. They would just stare at me when I started sharing what I was interested in (I was fascinated with history and music).

I'm very good socially and can laugh and have a good time with almost anyone, but the overwhelming, horrifying levels of mediocrity that is acceptable to the average person just confuses the hell out of me. 

I understand that they are god and god loves mediocrity because god is infinite consciousness etc. But on a practical day to day level the total complacency that the average person has towards life is genuinely quite exhausting to deal with. Mainly because you cannot relate to them and they can pick up on it which creates a constant "social tension" that they almost always interpret as hostility. 

I just can't force myself to care about the things most people care about and it, I don't understand why they care so much about nonsensical gossip and tiktok drama, and it makes relating to them extremely difficult. 

 

[Elliott]

They're scared, bud. She's a single woman alone. If you date her longer she may start to explore interests.

[Rigel]

@Elliott I wouldn’t date someone with the expectation « oh, she might change at some point ».

Seems pretty foolish.

Interesting people exist though, OP

[Elliott]

Just now, Rigel said:

@Elliott I wouldn’t date someone with the expectation « oh, she might change at some point ».

Seems pretty foolish.

Definitely. Just trying to explain her.

[Cireeric]

52 minutes ago, Monke said:

I understand that they are god and god loves mediocrity because god is infinite consciousness etc.

This is funny  

Yes I can totally understand you. This is the culture of last-men as Nietzsche saw it. I also find it almost a bit scary and can see Arendts banality of evil in it. I also noticed that if I socialize with people like this when Im not careful Im prone to making sarcastic-comments which as you said will often be read as hostility from my side. There is definitely a huge rift there and I can just be playful and funny for some time, but deeper meaningful contact can get pretty hard.

Edited 23 hours ago by Cireeric

[Hojo]

Via AI

Here's how Shiva's teachings relate to being ordinary:

Divinity within the ordinary: Shiva is the indwelling consciousness, the "inner Self" that resides in everyone, regardless of their status or actions. This means that every person, in their most ordinary state, contains the essence of the divine (Shiva Tattva). The goal isn't to become something extra-ordinary from the outside, but to realize the extraordinary truth already present within the ordinary self.

Transformation of daily life: The path of a Shiva devotee involves transforming everyday, ordinary actions into acts of worship and spiritual practice. Dedicating every act to Shiva, a practice known as Samarpanam or Nishkama Karma (action without expectation of fruit), dissolves karma and brings peace and grace into one's life. Simple acts like eating with mindfulness, walking with presence, and speaking with truth become spiritual practices.

Simplicity and Humility: Despite being the supreme deity, Shiva is often depicted living a simple, detached life, wearing ash and snakes. This aspect encourages devotees to cultivate humility and simplicity, finding greatness and contentment not in material possessions or social status, but in inner peace and detachment from worldly desires.

Embracing all aspects of existence: Shiva transcends dualities—good and evil, beautiful and frightening, worldly and ascetic. This teaches that the "ordinary" aspects of life, including suffering and challenges, are part of a greater cosmic balance. By embracing all experiences without attachment or judgment and resting in inner stillness, one lives in the Shiva Tattva.

Acceptance: The divine consciousness accepts individuals however they are, at whatever stage of evolution. This perspective normalizes the human condition and the process of spiritual growth, suggesting that one doesn't need to be perfect or exceptional to be worthy of divine connection. 

In short: 

They don't need to stop being ordinary this is a you problem not a problem with them. This 'social tension' is made up in your own mind. You feel like you have to 'act' a certain way because you dont want to be alone. You feel if you dont 'act' normal you wont stand out or people will leave. This entire post is a projection.

When I am around people I sit there and close my eyes. Theres no social tension there.

Edited 22 hours ago by Hojo

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

Behold; a selfimprovementfag judging normal people as below him, utterly oblivious to the obvious futility of the concept of self improvement seeing as it's mostly socially constructed; such a surprising sight indeed

[lostingenosmaze]

@NewKidOnTheBlock You could add "black" inbetween the "average person" and the OP would virtually be no different 🫣

[aurum]

Don't expect women you are dating to match your personal development ambition.

 

[LastThursday]

3 hours ago, Monke said:

She's sweet enough and a good, kind-hearted person, but

@Monke what do you want it to say about you as a person, what is your aspiration here?

[CARDOZZO]

Contemplate:

• Why do you project your own ways of being onto woman?
• Why do they need to be exactly as you are?
• What if the whole "find-your-frequency-match" is a lie?

Connect with women outside of mental labels about self-development, spirituality, self-help.

 

[Hojo]

@LastThursdayTo hate on woman.

[Nick_98]

17 hours ago, Monke said:

I recently went on a couple dates with a girl who lives at my apartment. 

She's sweet enough and a good, kind-hearted person, but I began to realize on the first date that she didn't really do much outside of her nine-to-five accounting job and getting drunk with her friends at bars and clubs on the weekend. No ambition, no striving, and no interest in anything of any importance whatsoever. By the second date I realized that she was actually not joking when she said all she does after work is scroll on TikTok, drink wine in her apartment, and gossip with her friends.

The most shocking part of it was not the fact that she lived this way, but the fact that she was genuinely satisfied with this. She was not saving money for a big life move, planning to travel, painting or exploring art/music, etc. Nothing. Zero. We had a good time and some laughs but i can't take her seriously because she has zero interest in growth whatsoever. Which to me is utterly insane.

I have made a lot of progress with my personal development but I often find myself utterly dumbfounded and then extremely frustrated with people like this. Why do they not care about important things? Why do they only care about trivial nonsense, petty drama, gossip, tiktok, etc.? To me this has been an obvious trap since I was like 10 years old. I remember feeling this exact way towards the vast majority of my peers in school as early as 5th grade. They would just stare at me when I started sharing what I was interested in (I was fascinated with history and music).

I'm very good socially and can laugh and have a good time with almost anyone, but the overwhelming, horrifying levels of mediocrity that is acceptable to the average person just confuses the hell out of me. 

I understand that they are god and god loves mediocrity because god is infinite consciousness etc. But on a practical day to day level the total complacency that the average person has towards life is genuinely quite exhausting to deal with. Mainly because you cannot relate to them and they can pick up on it which creates a constant "social tension" that they almost always interpret as hostility. 

I just can't force myself to care about the things most people care about and it, I don't understand why they care so much about nonsensical gossip and tiktok drama, and it makes relating to them extremely difficult. 

 

Op I’m sorry but who told you that everyone is like this girl ? Maybe you just happen to stumble across the wrong people quite a lot. But that doesn’t mean everyone is like this .

ok how to change this situation to make it more beneficial to you ? i don’t want to project the situation outwards and not focus on yourself, that will be a waste of time.

 

practice non Judgment, learn to not judge this girl. Hard enough? That’s your challenge

have a good day  

[Leo Gura]

Yes! Yes! Of course.

Ambition is rare. Most people have none and live like conformist zombies.

However, there is a next-level mindfuck here for you. It comes when you eventually realize that these mediocre people were right. Ambition is an illusion. All your striving, and in the end you will never achieve more than just sitting and being, which you could have done from day one. Ambition is awesome, but also a giant illusion at the end of road.

Look at Elon Musk. He his horny to go to Mars. But eventually he will discover it is a completely hollow goal. There is nothing to do on Mars once you are there. It is no better than scrolling through TikTok. Except TiKTok doesn't have you working yourself to death for an empty goal.

[Magnanimous]

Well then Leo, what's the point of executing on our ambition then? Other than to fulfill personal cravings?

If there's any other reason...

[Rilles]

I speak for all the mediocre people in the world, I am their patron saint - Salieri

[bazera]

@Leo Gura What's your suggestion then? Just practice sitting and being? 

How do you balance ambition and just sitting and being?

Don't we need an ambition to do enough practices and work on ourselves that then later in life arrive at the insight that there was really nothing more to be done other then sitting and being? 

[Joshe]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

However, there is a next-level mindfuck here for you. It comes when you eventually realize that these mediocre people were right. Ambition is an illusion.

They were not right. YOU were wrong in resenting them just because they didn’t want to come play with you in the way you wanted.

You could say everything is an illusion, but that’s useless. So long as ambition is serving intelligent ends and providing clean energy, rising tides, it’s not merely an “illusion” that should be dropped. It’s something useful, and even beautiful. I would call it a gift one is lucky to have. 

The solution to this problem, at least for me, was to uproot neediness, but keep ambition intact, until it is no longer serving you or the greater good.

Edited 4 hours ago by Joshe

[Monke]

@Hojo

I'm not hating on her or women in general. I obviously would not share these thoughts outside of this forum. The process of growth requires honestly without judgement. I am being honest about my observations because this a community where it is helpful to myself and others to do so. The judgement you are perceiving within my perspective is entirely projected upon me from your own experiences and belief systems. 

God is mediocrity

[gettoefl]

Mediocrity is seeing mediocre everywhere. Who made you judge and jury? People are happy. You are not. Yet you judge. People are incredible. You have work to do.