Are all men really able to have a girlfriend?

[Never_give_up]

I have many unnatractive traits, and only a few attractive ones.

I am almost 31 and I don't think I will ever find a girlfriend. Never had one. I had very little experience with women when I was super thin and confident but that was a long time ago and I mostly met women through other friends, never on my own.

My most notable unnatractive traits: i am short 167 cm, i am autistic or some other neurodivergence (that's a huge one with a lot of implications), and I am little fat but not extreme.

My most notable attractive traits: look very young like I am 20, i am good if not great at deep thinking (which some say is actually bad thing for relationships), and I feel like I have a cute face (at least when I was thin).

Generally I have been gifted with high cognitive ability in analyzation(deep thinking,philosophy,logic) and on all other cognitive abilities I am extremely dumb, I couldn't even get to university and I don't understand simple things many of the time (neurodivergence).

 

I feel like not everyone can't find a girlfriend. Until now I wasn't interested in relationships but now I feel I would really like to have a girlfriend. 

 

Should I accept I won't find a girlfriend or there is a chance I can find even in my bad conditions? Are all men really able to have a girlfriend?

[Yimpa]

I get where you’re coming from, but I think you’re over-focusing on traits you see as “unattractive.” Women aren’t just looking at height, weight, or whether you’re neurodivergent. Confidence and presence go much further than physical stats.

From what you wrote, your biggest barrier isn’t looks, it’s belief. Confidence doesn’t come from ticking boxes, it comes from how you carry yourself and how comfortable you are being you. Women are drawn to guys who own who they are.

Experience is also huge. The more you actually talk to women,  without the pressure of “this has to lead to a relationship”,  the more natural it becomes. Every conversation is practice. Every single failure is a new lesson to discover.

So yeah, you absolutely have a chance. But it starts with shifting your mindset. STOP seeing yourself as someone with “bad conditions” and start seeing yourself as someone with unique qualities to bring to the table.

Confidence > looks, every time.

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRFB51pSuZM

https://www.girlschase.com/article/how-know-if-youll-succeed-how-many-men-do-it  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsLrEX7wZnw

https://www.girlschase.com/article/dating-autistic-men-ultimate-guide

Edited 16 hours ago by Raze

[Alex4]

you can definetely have a girlfriend, don't be too stuck in your head. I know how you feel because I've been there. Don't throw in the towel, there are women out there you can connect with. Try void any toxic, victim-like, or sexist mentality at least when you are around women.

[Nemo28]

Forget about ever having a girlfriend, it is irrelevant (in the big picture), focus on yourself and god, once you can say "I am okay to forever be alone" maybe then you can have a healthy relationship with a girl. Go for quality. 

[Sincerity]

It’s definitely possible for you.

Do you have friends, men or women? Are you partaking in any group classes?

This advice is helpful for meeting women as well. Attraction is another thing, but still. If you’re not really social I’d start there, and you have a greater chance of meeting someone.

[Leo Gura]

3 hours ago, Never_give_up said:

Should I accept I won't find a girlfriend or there is a chance I can find even in my bad conditions?

Absolutely not!

You should push yourself to develop social skills through massive socializing.

If you have a cute face that is a huge bonus. Many girls will sleep with you if you just act properly.

Losing weight is easy, not serious problem there.

Height is not a problem. Many girls are below your height. Will you date a tall girl? No. You will find shorter ones. Do you comprehend how many hot girls there are under your height? Probably 50% of the world's women are below your height. What matters is not that you are tall but that you are taller than her.

You just lack social skills because you lack social experience because you are so introverted.

The solution is to stop making excuses and go socialize.

I promise you can get a girlfriend, but it will take challenging work, it won't be effortless.

Don't delay, start today!

Edited 13 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Magnanimous]

5 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

If you have a cute face that is a huge bonus. Many girls will sleep with you if you just act properly.

Leo what do you mean by just "acting properly?"

I'm 18, got a very handsome face, not much social skills but I can tell its my best talent and I'll obviously develop it.

I just feel sleeping with girls would be a lot easier for me now you've said that.

[Yimpa]

2 hours ago, Nemo28 said:

focus on yourself and god

Focus on Godlike Women (GW)

Noted  

GW = Good Work!

Edited 13 hours ago by Yimpa

[Rishabh R]

@Leo Gura Thanks Leo for these encouraging words. Even though this thread was not started by me but seeing this thread I remember my college self which had this belief that I would never get a girlfriend but now I rarely beleive it and I am more open to the fact that I don't know even though I found a few receptive girls along the way. With that being said I am 24 now and yes @Yimpa beliefs are huge. Questioning our beliefs is necessary for growth. @Never_give_up Reframe your situation as an opportunity for finding a girlfriend that you really like , it will make a huge difference.

[Nemo28]

If its gods will you will remain single, forever. 

[Malkom]

Develop a sense of inner freedom. Girls sense this, and not only. And develop it through real-life experiences, not just theoretical ones. Don't talk about deep topics, just be open, open in the emotional sense; understanding this requires social intelligence. Don't burden them with your intellect.

[something_else]

4 hours ago, Magnanimous said:

Leo what do you mean by just "acting properly?"

I'm 18, got a very handsome face, not much social skills but I can tell its my best talent and I'll obviously develop it.

I just feel sleeping with girls would be a lot easier for me now you've said that.

If you're relatively good looking as a guy, "acting properly" can pretty much be summarised as "be sociable, meet lots of people, and don't be weird" and in many cases that will be enough.

If you want to set charisma as your main goal then there is more involved. Being weird/unique is actually a good thing, but it can take a lot of practice to figure out how to express your weirdness in a way that is charismatic and not off putting.

[Peo]

5 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Will you date a tall girl? No. You will find shorter ones.

Well that makes me sad. Want a tall grilfriend. 

[Yimpa]

2 hours ago, Peo said:

Want a tall grilfriend. 

 

[Yimpa]

You’ve gotta make flirting as important as freakin’ water.

 

 

 

 

I NEEEEEED IT!!!

Edited 5 hours ago by Yimpa

[Joshe]

1 hour ago, Peo said:

Well that makes me sad. Want a tall grilfriend. 

You can still get tall girls as a short guy. I'm a little over 5'7 and I dated a girl that was about 4-5 inches taller. It is pretty funny though. She was weirded out the first time I kissed her without shoes on, but she got over it and we just joked about it. Another time, I tried to pull a smooth one and lift her off the ground mid-kiss - she told me to never do that again. lol. 

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

*Am I really able to have a girlfriend?

[Tenebroso]

There isn't someone for everyone, many men especially of this generation will die alone.

[aurum]

It doesn't matter if every man can do it. What matters is if you can.

You are looking to see whether you can accomplish something by cueing off of other people.

Focus on becoming the kind of man women want to follow. Make that your mission for the next decade. Everything else is noise.