Tenebroso

I am in the exact same position. You are going to get a lot of "just go out there" advice from people who most likely take having a sex life for granted. They don't understand the barriers facing unattractive, shy men, the "fuck off" glares women give you before you even open your mouth to initiate a conversation. I have come to the conclusion that life is not fair and some of us were never meant to have those experiences.

You don't need to have your shit together to get laid. You just need to be sexy enough at the right time to a particular women. Some men are luckier than others and some men will never be sexy enough for any woman.

@Princess Arabia Ok well let's agree to disagree. I will stop responding to your post for the foreseeable future, I don't enjoy antagonizing people when it is not my intention at all.

Toxic and healthy is a false dichotomy.

The bolded. I felt all of these had a harsh, aggressive tone. There seems to be an emphasis on disgust. I feel this is insensitive to trauma and how it influences a person perception. Everybody is dealing with something maybe not everyone is as open about me but it is not a reason to be dismissive. I do post on other sections not anywhere as much on this section but I feel that is necessary. I am allowed to have a particular interest in a specific section. Maybe it's an area where I need to develop and work things out. A more immature young man would take this comment and run away to some forum or discord server where there is no one to challenge his views. I don't like echo chambers, I like being challenged but it should be respectful. I made the point about spirituality because often the response on many topics comes down to essentially everything is about love, self awareness and doing the work but on the topic of dating dynamics specifically the tone is completely different. It feels as if I don't agree exactly with what is said about women I am on the verge of being insulted. Yes it's not exactly what you said here but an overall pattern which implies that I should know my place.

@Princess Arabia I think I deserve an apology. There is a vast difference in my tone towards you and your tone towards me.

So are you just being joyfully mean now? Again I have never said anything personal in all our discussions. I don't understand what you get out of responding to me like this with such venom. I feel like you are maybe channeling your frustrations with men and what others have said about you into your responses to me because these responses seem out of place for what we were discussing.

Tale about Jazz. Talking about the fact that I am responding while relaxed listening to music is a tale. Why do I trigger all of you so much? I don't really get it. I am not elevating my credibility. I am listening to my favourite genre of music while I responding, it's that simple. Nobody's views are 100% based on fact and reality. Everything is coloured by perception to some extent and I simply sharing mine with no personal insults. It is very hurtful to be treated like this by people I have either interacted with respectfully for long periods of time or by people I have barely interacted with.

@Princess Arabia That's fine if you don't want to respond or interact with me anymore. However, I don't think it's necessary to be so personal. In all our discussions and disagreements I have never once insulted you or judged you sexually. I am simply defend my views but it seems simply disagreeing leads to vilification that to me seems beyond necessary. Writing about my scars is uncalled for. If I wrote like this I would receive a warning. Even if I am stubbornly disagreeing, I am always measured and respectful in my post. Far worst is said on this forum with less decorum and respect. There is a lot of talk about needing to be more vulnerable and open up about their experiences but look what happens when you do that, it is used against you. Supposedly women are better communicators and more emotionally intelligent but these response don't indicate that. There is nothing enlightened or evolved about these responses to my post. A trend I have noticed is people who think they have reached a certain level of spiritual and emotional development look down on others and treat people who disagree with them with contempt. Maybe my views and observations are related to my stage of self development and your views are related to your stage of development but nothing I have ever said warrants that response. I think you should apologise but I don't expect it because I sense you think I am beneath you.

Interesting that sharing my views triggers people so much. I don't make personal insults or comments, I am never vulgar and I don't dismiss the experiences of other people. I simply challenge mainstream perspectives and defend my observations stubbornly perhaps. I never write what I write with venom. I am not in my mother's basement seething, I am listening to Jazz music and creating a new vision board. It seems not agreeing with the status quo really hurts people. It is what it is.

Women are just as shallow after their 20s. It is a myth that they stop chasing hot, emotionally unavailable men. If anything their standards become even harsher. Men never become equally attractive to women at any age.

Women get the ick from attractive men. An attractive man and an unattractive man could have the exact same habits and the unattractive man will give women the ick while the same habit in an attractive man will be seen as cute or quirky instead of putting. The sexiness of a man is more important than his behaviour. If a man is sexy his flaws are accepted if a man is unattractive his flaws give the ick. There is a big difference.

Again I think this is a myth. Women in their 30s and 40s are just as attracted to hot, emotional unavailable men as younger women. Maybe in the past when women had less freedom they would grow to appreciate more stable men as they aged. However, today women have never been more free to center their true desires and I think we are seeing that women are just as sexual as men if not more but just for a small percentage of men.

I am saying women do not care about those things. My hypotheses is that women are more shallow than men.

@Natasha Tori Maru I don't know if I would say men are victims. I don't think women are actually doing anything wrong to men. Men are not entitled to anything and I would not turn back the clock to restrict female freedom. That isn't the right solution. However my issue is with the discourse around dating which presents women as having a kind of attraction which is more complicated and takes into account thing beyond the physical etc kindness, humour, intelligence etc....... What we thought once about female nature was based on an epoch where the true desires of women were restricted due to patriarchy, religion, socio-economic forces. Now that women are free at least in the west, we see that women are just as lustful and sexually driven as men if not more but importantly just for a minority of men. There are plenty of stats that support my views but more importantly observing what women say but watching what they do and who they choose repeatedly. I have attractive friends and live in a diverse major city. I know the experiences of my attractive friends are true because I have lived with some of them and know what happens behind closed doors. More women are in some kind of relationship than men, despite there being an almost equal number of men and women, why? because the most attractive men are often involved with multiple women, they have so many option that they have no incentive to settle down. Sometimes they are honest, sometimes they are not, so some women think they are in a committed relationship while the guy see her as just another option. There is a lot of discussion around single mothers. Women say well it takes to two people to make a child they are right but what they don't acknowledge is that a small percentage of men have multiple kids with multiple women out of wedlock yet women will continue choosing those men anyway. Most men are not out there creating single mothers. A small percentage of men out there cause so much damage because women find them so attractive that they never have any incentive to change or become better which reveals that character, virtue and all these qualities women claim are important are in fact not important. If a man is attractive enough all red flags go out of the window.