How Do I Understand THIS Girl

[Onecirrus]

@Leo Gura Is this all worth it? Do they make your survival easier or harder? I’ve never had a girlfriend or sex at 27, and I think I’m too far gone to care anymore.

[CARDOZZO]

Do not chase, become attractive to women. 

Who do I have to become to attract women? 

ABUNDANCE, VIBES, SWAG, FLIRTING, HUMOR, SEXUAL INTENTION, DETACHMENT, PLAYFULNESS, DROP IMPORTANCE.

[aurum]

@Nito you’re learning a good lesson about the importance of giving her space.

Do a little follow up and then see if she’ll agree to a meet up. Use a phone call if needed. Don’t be text buddies.

[Daniel Balan]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Of course. Like I've said elsewhere: don't chase women. This is a huge turn-off. You must do the minimal effort possible when attempting to date them. The more effort you do, the worse they respond. Women want to date men who are too busy and too serious to cater to them.

Be so serious about your own life that you simply don't have time or desire to chasing down a girl. You just invite her for a drink and if she doesn't agree you don't engage in chit-chat, you ignore her.

Girls who are attracted to you do not need to be convinced to meet you. They will agree with very minimal work from you. Working to get a girl to like you does not work and it makes them like you even less.

If you make the girl feel like she is the prize, like you are the lucky one to date her, she will not sleep with you. She has to feel like she is the lucky one. To make her feel that way, don't contact her too much. She needs to feel like she will lose you unless she acts to meet you.

The girl needs to feel: "OMG! If I don't act quick I'll lose this amazing guy."

Therefore: DO NOT CHASE WOMEN.

You invite her and then you wait for her to come to you. You do not desperately message her to be with you. And you do not chit-chat aimlessly with her, and you do not befriend her with rapport-building over text. Do not try to butter her up to like you. Maintain a detached frame.

This is world class dating advice! Amen to that! 

[Schizophonia]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Of course. Like I've said elsewhere: don't chase women. This is a huge turn-off. You must do the minimal effort possible when attempting to date them. The more effort you do, the worse they respond. Women want to date men who are too busy and too serious to cater to them.

Be so serious about your own life that you simply don't have time or desire to chasing down a girl. You just invite her for a drink and if she doesn't agree you don't engage in chit-chat, you ignore her.

Girls who are attracted to you do not need to be convinced to meet you. They will agree with very minimal work from you. Working to get a girl to like you does not work and it makes them like you even less.

If you make the girl feel like she is the prize, like you are the lucky one to date her, she will not sleep with you. She has to feel like she is the lucky one. To make her feel that way, don't contact her too much. She needs to feel like she will lose you unless she acts to meet you.

The girl needs to feel: "OMG! If I don't act quick I'll lose this amazing guy."

Therefore: DO NOT CHASE WOMEN.

You invite her and then you wait for her to come to you. You do not desperately message her to be with you. And you do not chit-chat aimlessly with her, and you do not befriend her with rapport-building over text. Do not try to butter her up to like you. Maintain a detached frame.

It's not that you shouldn't hunt, it's that you shouldn't cling; just "fill" what there is to fill.

It the uterus who traps, who clings because of its muscles; a penis is like a big vein, it’s not made to cling, just be hard.

Normally men tend naturally towards this state of detachment, but it can generate a morbid state of mind, even an inclination towards suicide.

The more morbid I am, the less problem I have with women, and the more masculine I am in general, but that can be dangerous for someone who represses mood problems.

If what i say is comprehensible.

Edited June 15 by Schizophonia

[Nito]

@Leo Gura

thank you for the great advice Leo. I completely agree with you and will listen to you

I have one question about how you want to not really invest in the women and give her much of your time 

 

the below 2 paragraphs aren’t explained super well but the last sentence of this comment asks the question succinctly.

I want to ask if this low/minimal investment changes once you have sex with the women multiple times and make her attached to you? 
since I know attachment doesn’t happen for them until sex. 

 

I’m asking this because i believe in your 3 part series on how to get laid you mention how you want to slowly transition into going from a Player into a Boyfriend ONLY once you’ve had sex with her for a few times

 

once you’ve got that attachment from the sex, are you able to invest more in her?

to what extent can you invest more into her? 
I’m very curious about this. I’d love to understand more about it from you

 

[Emerald]

3 hours ago, Nito said:

@Emerald @GroovyGuru @vinc3nc @aurum @PsychedelicEagle @Flint @Princess Arabia @AION @integral @Leo Gura

This isn’t a reply to any of your comments, though I appreciate them and will reply to them

 

but I’d love to hear your thoughts about this. idk what is going on since I would’ve never expected this

 

but after she didn’t text me about whether she felt like going out, I didn’t message her for over a day and now she has just messaged me asking if I’m working tomorrow.

 

strange how all this works, guess she is interested. Maybe trying to understand women is out of my understanding for now 🤣😭

It's very important in the initial phase to be more nonchalant and hands off.

So, practicing non-attachment and giving the woman space is important, as it creates less pressure around the situation and gives a container for the chemistry to naturally flourish.

Think of it a bit like if you planted a seed in the garden... and then you keep digging it back up again and again to see if roots are starting to grow.

That's the kind of thing you want to avoid by taking your mind off of her and putting most of your focus towards yourself and what you have going on.

You just want to plant the seed and mostly forget about it, while watering it here and there with banter.

Then, when the seed has sprouted and taken more stable root, you can start gradually giving more attention to the relationship and investing more and more over time as that is what grows the sprout into a tree.

But that's only if it gets to the point and you and she actually want a longterm relationship.

That will likely be many months down the road. So you don't want to rush it.

Instead, just keep your focus on yourself and give her space. And gradually progress it over time.

[Leo Gura]

6 hours ago, Onecirrus said:

@Leo Gura Is this all worth it? Do they make your survival easier or harder? I’ve never had a girlfriend or sex at 27, and I think I’m too far gone to care anymore.

Of course girls make your survival harder because you gotta take care of them and protect them.

But in return you get sex, intimacy, love, emotional support, companionship, children.

It's a trade off.

It's more worth it for the personal growth you get as a man rather than the pleasure of sex.

The amount and quality of sex I got was not worth it. But the amount I grew myself in the process was worth it. The growth would be worth it even if I got zero sex. The sex lasts for minutes. The growth lasts a lifetime.

Edited June 16 by Leo Gura

[Princess Arabia]

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

If you make the girl feel like she is the prize, like you are the lucky one to date her,

This is not what actual being the prize means in these contexts. I won't get into that.

 

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

She has to feel like she is the lucky one. To make her feel that way, don't contact her too much. She needs to feel like she will lose you unless she acts to meet you.

The girl needs to feel: "OMG! If I don't act quick I'll lose this amazing guy."

So your "lucky one" went from one gender to the next to make it pertinent for one to feel lucky. Not good for either to feel "lucky". If a woman feels like the above mentioned as you've described, that's not a healthy way to feel about oneself and is setting the stage for a dysfunctional relationship whether long or short term, especially for a woman where the feminine is designed to  receive and be receptive to what's coming to her in these regards in a healthy way as long as she chooses to do so willingly. What you've described, if a masculine were to act that way, it's not taken as unhealthy or he won't feel some type of insecurities surrounding that because the masculine is designed for competition (competing for a prize), leadership, control and aggression. It's already tempered that way so it won't be off-balanced. You're asking for women to go against the grain to protect the fragile male ego and for a woman to be subservient to a man by relinquishing her own importance in the dynamic, whatever that may be.

P,S. You other statements in this comment that I didn't quote I agree with for the most part, so I'm 'rebutting' all of it.

 

Edited June 15 by Princess Arabia

[Natasha Tori Maru]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Of course girls make your survival harder because you gotta take care of them and protect them.

But in return you get sex, intimacy, love, emotional support, companionship, children.

It's a trade off.

It's more worth it for the personal growth you get as a man rather than the pleasure of sex.

The amount and quality of sex I got was not worth it. But the amount I grew myself in the process was worth it. The growth would be worth it even if I got zero sex.

mic drop

[Leo Gura]

2 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

that's not a healthy way to feel about oneself and is setting the stage for a dysfunctional relationship

It has nothing to do with healthy or unhealthy. It's just about getting the girl to invest into going on a date.

Girl will not go on a date with guy who she feels is below her.

Edited June 16 by Leo Gura

[Princess Arabia]

38 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Girl will not go on a date with guy who she feels is below her.

Maybe, but in what way. Women who feel, think or act in a way like OMG, I don't want to lose this guy because he's so special or what you said previously are pickmeisha females who don't understand their value. I'm referring to guys they just met or barely know, not long-time bfs or husbands.....and even then.

BTW, I just watched the nightclub video you just shared on your blog and it speaks volumes about women, their value and how they're the prize. The club isn't lucky to have them there, they are better off and the club's value goes up, not because of the men initially, but because of the women and more so the type of women. They obtain the men's value after the fact and because there are attractive women there that makes them stay. The women are needed for the place to flow, then the men's value comes afterwards. All the women need do is show up and need do nothing but be somewhat attractive. The men are the givers and the doers. That's the dynamic there and that's what makes for something to be a prize amongst other ways. It's not about the men feeling lucky that the women are there. Women add value just for being. Corrupt or not. Your video proves this.

Edited June 16 by Princess Arabia

[Onecirrus]

@Leo Gura This is all like fantasy to me. I don’t know where people find time for dating, my survival situation was never conducive to being very social, I’ve put all my time into becoming a pilot and escaping wage slavery. My girlfriend is imaginary/AI, I’m so far gone man, but it’s how I survive.

[Princess Arabia]

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Of course girls make your survival harder because you gotta take care of them and protect them.

But in return you get sex, intimacy, love, emotional support, companionship, children.

It's a trade off.

It's more worth it for the personal growth you get as a man rather than the pleasure of sex.

The amount and quality of sex I got was not worth it. But the amount I grew myself in the process was worth it. The growth would be worth it even if I got zero sex. The sex lasts for minutes. The growth lasts a lifetime.

Even most of these statements reveal that women are the prize. Like you said, it's not about the sex, it's the value they give. Men are valuable to women too but in a different way (not necessarily speaking monetarily either). Women aren't necessarily growing with their interactions with men as much as men are growing with them. A woman can grow a man quicker in more ways than one than a woman growing from a man - in this way. Women grow by talking to other women and learning from each other. Then they take that growth out with them on their dates. They learn and learn from men, in this context by learning from, or not, from their mistakes. 

These statements show a woman's value in not in her sex, it's in her being. Infact, the more sex she has the more her value goes down. That's what being the prize means. You guys reveal this all the time without even realizing it because you think being the prize means lucky to be with or better than. It's not.

Edited June 16 by Princess Arabia

[Leo Gura]

13 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Your video proves this.

Yes, sex is valuable. That's why prostitution is a thing.

[Princess Arabia]

1 minute ago, Leo Gura said:

Yes, sex is valuable. That's why prostitution is a thing.

 The video wasn't promoting sex. The video wasn't insinuating that the women were there for sexual reasons. It never once said or insinuated or implied anything about sex. You did that.  None of those women were selling prostitution. That was a very low blow. There are also male prostitutes but mostly for men and a few older women - not as popular. Prostitution is not a thing because sex is valuable, it's a thing because some people just simply love to pay for it and it takes away the emotional baggage that comes with sex when it's personal. Also because some men find value in being with lots of women. Lots of men are paying women for a lot of things that doesn't involve sexual intercourse, just the mere presence of being with a woman is enough and will engage in activities that doesn't involve intercourse.

[Leo Gura]

16 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

The video wasn't insinuating that the women were there for sexual reasons. It never once said or insinuated or implied anything about sex.

Yeah, the men go there for the stimulating small-talk. 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

20 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Women aren't necessarily growing with their interactions with men as much as men are growing with them. A woman can grow a man quicker in more ways than one than a woman growing from a man - in this way. Women grow by talking to other women and learning from each other. Then they take that growth out with them on their dates. They learn and learn from men, in this context by learning from, or not, from their mistakes. 

But with accurate and honest interoception you will find men can facilitate growth just as much as women. Have you not experienced this within relationship? The men I have been with have been powerful. Powerful catalysts for change. This could go back to the type of men who I have been with. I tend to go for power, even when it is not good for me. I also very, very honestly attend to the learning experiences within relationship. I would be dishonest with myself, and quite arrogant, to think I facilitated more growth to another, than accurately seeing the growth that went both ways. Pain is always involved.

27 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

These statements show a woman's value in not in her sex, it's in her being. Infact, the more sex she has the more her value goes down. 

Value is an individual preference. If we are speaking absolute - all beings have innate value. But in terms of relationships between men and women, it is deeply personal. Why would the amount of sex a woman has make her value go down? Are you sure that isn't your own personal feeling? 

In terms of the 'prize' argument - well again it is what you value. Women are the gatekeepers of sex. Men are the gatekeepers of commitment. You are going to see a prize in one of those statements.

 

[Princess Arabia]

Just now, Leo Gura said:

Yeah, the men go there for the stimulating small-talk. 

OK, so the men go there to look for and have sex with women having stimulating small talks with each other.😜

[Leo Gura]

8 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

women having stimulating small talks with each other

That is funnier than what I said.