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I’m a little confused sometimes about makes people not end their life. It’s like, I’m not the only one who struggles, yet all people who struggle don’t get suicidal thoughts. There are even people going through worse than me who don’t consider suicide. Sometimes when my suicidal thoughts get stronger I can spend hours researching suicide methods. I even bought some things I could use to kill myself but I haven’t used them yet. Sometimes I feel “I could keep living through this” But then other times I feel, I have no will to keep fighting for life. I should just end it. It would be better So I don’t understand how other people don’t feel like this when they struggle. Am I extra weak? I mean I think I’m like the average person when it comes to how much I can tolerate. Or maybe not. I don’t know. I guess I just lack a strong enough reason to live Like some people have let’s say family they are attached to, and it keeps them wanna live. But I don’t have that, I don’t love anyone at all so I have nobody to live for. It’s like all I have is my own mind. Im stuck inside of this brain 24/7. All I have access to is a comforting thought that can give me some strength. But then my mind gives up and wants to end it all. It oscillates like that Edit: I should probably answer my own question. Why don’t I kill myself? Well mostly because my situation is not like absolutely unbearable yet, so I feel I can stand it for some time ahead. Also I am afraid of a failed attempt and the pain it can cause for example you could get permanent injury. Thats it mostly. Regarding the first point. I hear stories about people going through unbearable things, so they go through it even if it’s absolutely unbearable, I don’t know how they do. Suicide must have crossed their mind at some point

Since so much of our life is just maintaining our own survival, it’s a surprise for many that people go 180 degrees in the opposite direction and choose to end it on their terms. In a way, it takes a lot of bravery and courage, but in high pressure survival situations, it looks like the better option. What if suicide is just an attempt at survival in another form? Is suicide truthful? Legit i’m ready to die. It is also said that many had flashes of enlightenment when deep in this mire of suicidality. if the answer isn’t physical death then what is the real answer? Wouldn’t physical death lead to death of ego too? my outer circumstances don’t exactly let me pursue the spiritual path to the max the way I want to. I’d rather be dead then to live as this fuck up also in a fucked up deluded environment around deluded people i’m so sick of the BS in me and around me that i’d rather take a leap into the unknown and kill myself. Dissolving all this BS nauseating noise, shit and impurity

Thoughts aren't actually real, which is the point, but they do drive you into action and create your reality. You don't really need to "respect" thoughts in my opinion in any kind of sense. Just change what you focus on. You can literally talk yourself out of a thought pattern like your talking to ChatGPT, to use a modern day example. Being suicidal is when you are run by negative thought patterns that interpret reality in such a way that you feel suicide is the only option. Suicide in of itself is a natural response to the sense of a helpless situation. The issue is that thoughts may or may not correspond with reality. At least to a certain degree, you are free to interpret reality however you want, which is especially true in first world countries where we have the free time to ponder while at the same time being socially isolate. Granted, I'm not a mentally ill person, so mileage may vary, but in my experience you have a lot of power to change your mind by changing what you focus on, thereby changing your reality. That is the power of mind. If you are seriously mentally ill then you probably would benefit from professional treatment. My perspective is not meant to belittle or undermine the difficulty of a sick mind, but I do believe that you have more power over your situation than you tend to think you do in most situations.

It seems contradictory to me to say both "The mind is very powerful" and "It's all in your head" in the same argument. In my experience, "It's all in your head" is typically a statement that dismisses the power of the mind. I'd rather lean toward the mind being very powerful, which is why I suggest facing thoughts with due respect as such. Some thoughts, including thoughts of suicide, can be very slippery and don't want to be faced because they're used to their anonymous power. They don't easily share their secrets. It can be tricky to get to them and find out what you describe of them using the idea of suicide for catharsis or control or escape or whatever it is they really happen to be doing outside the light. I don't really disagree with you, I just want to acknowledge that thoughts are to be first respected, even if they are then to be dismissed.

I'm speaking from my own personal experience with dealing with suicidal ideation. It's all in your head. Yes, as you gain more experience and understanding you learn to manage and you learn to take your thoughts less seriously. What suicidal people don't tend to admit is that they actually sort of enjoy thinking about suicide because it is cathartic and gives them a sense of control. It's an escape they are giving into. The mind is very powerful. You can create your own personal hell if you want to. A lot of suicidal people is due to people being emotionally immature and not understanding their own situation fully.

I'm not looking for some hotline number or “hang in there” crap. My life has been non‑stop abuse, poverty, mould, burning plastic, soul‑crushing jobs, no intimacy, nothing to look forward to. I’m broke, exhausted, and angry. Spiritually or ethically — whatever you want to call it — am I actually allowed to end this? Is suicide an actual escape from this nightmare, or is it just more pain somewhere else? I’m asking for honest answers from people who have been through hell or have studied spirituality deeply. Don’t sugarcoat it.

Suicide is extreme, and so far as I know, irrevocable. What less extreme options have you tried? Have you given away your possessions and gone on a pilgrimage? Have you tried fasting meditation? Have you tried it again? Have you tried moving somewhere else; if you're in the city, to the country; if you're in the country, to the city; if you're in the east, to the west, or vice versa? Have you tried psychedelics? Have you tried them under spiritual guidance? Have you looked for a different job? Have you openly violated oppressive social norms? My point isn't that you should do all or any of these things. My point is; think about how your fixation is specifically on suicide, when reason would dictate that there are invariably more options to be considered if you are even marginally healthy in body. If you just wait a while, you're going to die anyway. Why insist on receiving early what is already guaranteed?

I'll just put this out there; intrusive suicidal thoughts, once begun, are non-rational. I have a friend who had never been depressed or had a suicidal thought until he was in his late thirties and hurt his shoulder. It was nothing major that couldn't improve with physical therapy and certainly not a disaster to end one's life over, but he was and always had been materially and psychologically dependent on having a strong body, so he started on a downward spiral where he stopped eating, drank heavily, and openly talked about going out back with a rifle. Over time, his shoulder got better, and so did his mood. His suicidal thinking had a reason behind it, but I can't really call it rational. I myself, after being triggered by prolonged verbal abuse and neglect in my adolescence, had regular intrusive thoughts of ending my life until my early thirties, when they went away without any explanation. I just noticed one day that I hadn't had a suicidal thought for a few weeks. Nothing else had changed, I wasn't noticeably happier or wealthier or more enlightened, but I didn't think about my death anymore without deliberate effort. My point is that the reasoning behind thinking of killing yourself is arbitrary. Anyone could be triggered to think about suicide over any kind of loss or upset, depending on their personality. Your reasoning for suicidal ideation seems to me to at least be more reasonable than hurting your shoulder, but the fact is that someone else might go through what you went through and not think of suicide at all. Your circumstances are irrelevant, excepting that they are what triggered you. You're trying to reason your way through something that is not rational; there is no tipping point where you are supposed to or must commit suicide for any kind of reason. Whether you live or die is an arbitrary result of the fact that for billions of years, every single one of your ancestors without exception is the one who lived to reproduce. Suicidal thoughts are certainly a part of your suffering, and add to it. There's no greater meaning to them beyond that, though, other than that they are a window into the specific nature of your own consciousness.

This is unlikely to be helpful to anyone at all because I can't explain it, but here it is. I used to have intrusive suicidal thoughts on a regular basis. Growing up in an abusive household, it was not infrequent for me to lay in bed for hours writing a spiteful suicide note in my head, and even once I got out of the house, that habit of regularly going to a suicidal place stuck roughly into my thirties. Then a day came that I noticed that I wasn't having suicidal thoughts, and hadn't for a few weeks. I didn't and still don't have any idea what changed. I didn't have an obvious breakthrough, I didn't get hit in the head, I didn't win a lottery, I wasn't happier or more satisfied with my life than I used to be. It just quietly went away as I progressed with my inner work. What I gather from this is that suicidal ideation is not circumstance-dependent. It is its own thing, that won't necessarily go away if your circumstances improve, and won't necessarily stick around even if your circumstances get worse. It left me without saying goodbye, and I haven't seen it since.

- Feel free to comment, ask questions, give unasked advice, use this post for resources, etc. ( all under your own risk and judgement ) Basically, the idea is that I'll be documenting and sharing my journey of chelation. I'm a noob for now, but I expect to gather a decent chunk of understanding throughout this year. This has been on my to do list for over a year now, and I've been motivated recently by Leo dropping the long awaited episode on chelation released for my birthday ?. Sadly, the episode is not as detailed as I'd like it to be and I'm afraid he may have forgotten some crucial information. But if there is time to whine, there is time to roll up my digital sleeves and get to work and research. Let's hope my journal doesn't end up being a Brian Bander's Suicide note 2.0 (RIP)

I found this post on reddit and want to know what ya'll think about it... 25 years of Trump & Epstein "Friendship"! 2000: Trump learns Epstein trafficked and "stole" underaged masseuse Virginia Giuffre from Trump's adult spa. 2002: Trump says “I’ve known Jeff for 15 years. Terrific guy. He’s a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side.” 2003: Trump sends note to Epstein: "may every day be another wonderful secret". 2007: Trump Bans Epstein from mar-a-lago after Trump got into a bidding war for a mansion they both were interested in. Epstein indicted. Epstein is tipped off in advance that he is about to be raided, and hires cleaners to wipe his hard drives and remove everything. Nevertheless, there is so much evidence that the police still found tons of homemade child porn and other incriminating documents, including instructions how to take delivery of a girl he bought in Thailand. 2008: Prosecutor Alex Acosta gave Epstein a sweet plea deal that destroyed all the evidence, and, get this: granted immunity to any unindicted co-conspirators. You read that right, Epstein's original FL plea deal not only wiped his record and gave him immunity, it also gave immunity to everyone he committed crimes and raped kids with, known and unknown! 2017: Acosta, who gave Epstein and all his co-child rapists immunity, becomes Trump's Secretary of Labor. 2019: Epstein is jailed again on new sex-trafficking charges. Under Trump's command, the federal prison where Epstein is being held takes him off suicide watch, moves him to a solitary cell where the cameras outside are not working, and forgets to make their rounds at the same that three minutes of camera footage are deleted from the hallway camera, during which Epstein dies. 2020-2024: The Biden administration prosecutes and convicts Ghislaine Maxwell, and begins sealed grand-jury investigations against other co-conspirators, in addition to releasing the largest trove of Epstein-related documents to date, including the "Epstein Tapes" in which Jeff Epstein (RIPiss) calls Trump his "closest friend for ten years". Trump campaigns on releasing ALL of the Epstein Files. Investigators find over 1.5$ BILLION USD of transactions connected to Epsteins bank accounts and are pursuing leads to find owners and recipients of those funds. 2025: Trump cancels the grand-jury investigations, fires the prosecutor, and claims Epstein is a "hoax" made up by Obama. Entire GOP votes to shut down the government in order to prevent a vote on the Epstein files. Trump DOJ has a secret meeting with Ghislaine and moves her to a fenceless minimum-security "club Fed" with work-release privileges. Trump administration intervenes to allow child sex-predator Tom Artiom Alexandrovich to flee to Israel in order to avoid criminal charges in Nevada. GOP Speaker of the house claims Trump was the FBI informant who brought down Epstein despite the same "informant" claiming it being a hoax by Obama... Which he is backtracked 2 days later. Trump ordered his DOJ and FBI to use over 1,000 FBI agents to redact his name from the Epstein files. Republicans voted to protect child rapists on Sep 10th. And have kept the government closed since October to prevent the seating of a elected democrat that would break the tie vote to release the epstein files. GOP is the party of pedophiles. Thoughts?

Oh I was being mild. Every year before SRS I was turning over suicide plans in my head like making pancakes every morning. My anatomy was draining my will to live and ever since I had it done I haven't considered suicide a single time. I have half the self hatred I had before, and most of that turned into giggly perplexion that so many people seem to think conversion therapy works. It's probably because I'm not offering enough femininity to them which is why I made my pancakes analogy.

@Agrande It's tempting to believe there is an "easy" way out, but is there? I believe there isn't. I believe that even if you commit suicide, your energy/frequency continues to exist, and it will lead you to a "new dream" where you will have to overcome the same problems you face here. The only way forward is through your problems. The fastest way is to face things and resolve your shit. That's the purpose of Life.

On June 22nd at the Rose Bowl I attended the US defeating Columbia 2-1 in the group stage. What a day! Featured one of the most audacious bicycle kicks ever seen at a World Cup by the US's Marcel Balboa and 14 days after the match the Columbian whose own goal lead to their defeat, Jose Escobar, committed suicide. Two weeks later on a glorious and joyous July 4th, the US acquitted themselves exceptionally well in the round of last 16 at the Stanford Stadium going down 1-0 to the eventual winners Brazil.

The truth of the matter is, we have an inefficient system. It works really well for small percentage, moderately well for a big chunk and really not well for the rest. And the work involved in shifting to a better place in the spectrum and maintaining it is arbitrary in the sense that people are different and you can't create what you aren't meant for. It's really not unfair in the real sense, it's mostly inefficient. It's not run by mechanical truths or mathematical rules, it's all very much arbitrary. Biases are how we navigate the world. Feeling good for being at the top is a response the system wants you to have, and so is the opposite response. You're programmed to feel bad when you're not playing the game well. It's not something you can really change. You can try all sorts of things; no amount of mystical experience can really fix it. Especially if you have certain biases against living an ascetic life. And the culture around mostly doesn't tolerate monkhood. Every retreat into the personal space of philosophies like misanthropy, efilism, anti-natalism will consequently make the game more meaningless and harder while giving you small hit of dopamine trashing the system. Spirituality is a scam. We live in a material world. You need food and shelter, you're not gonna transcend your body and stop pooping. Same goes for the mind, your psyche keeps you alive, you feel what you feel thanks to the psyche. It's not like you're in the position to influence how it functions. Nobody can. We are the body and mind. And it's seriously demented to push people into "feeling the spirit, meditation"/"you're not your mind or body" even as a concept. As for suicide. I agree with the anti-natalist philosophy. But what people get wrong is, if you accept that bringing children in the world is immoral and bad, you basically saying your own existence is a mistake and you'd rather die. That's quite flawed as a logic, but our psyche is likely to interpret it as such no matter how logical we are. Once you're alive, you have an interest to keep living and in turn propagating life. Logic isn't how humans and society functions. This is why almost all frameworks to understand humans through logic fails. Spiral Dynamics is a good example. The philosophy is dangerous in the sense that if taken seriously you can turn really anti life and worse you become some vegan and stop nourishing yourself. We're cannibalistic carnivores, instead of flesh, we feed on others' energy, while keeping them alive. It's how we've come to survive in the last few centuries. Life and it's way of functioning is messy and inefficient, there's no real fix, other than having a good experiential reality. If you feel good eating meat, that's a win. Stop trying to function logically.

@Yeah Yeah Well damn man I can see why you're like this after having lived through all that. But I still believe you can make it. Even if this all happend to you. You basically gave up on life and now you have negative momentum building up because of your smoking and porn addiction (and maybe some other bad habits). And your 'I've tried it all' could also mean you've tried everything YOU COULD at those times. Doesn't mean you've literally done everything possible to succeed (because this world is endless, the possibilities are endless too). And yeah from the looks of it you got pretty unlucky up till now but you can't give up like that just yet yk? I think you could actually improve your life if you tried focussing on healing and when you finally have a good foundation you could actually succeed in life (and with healing I mean your pathologies and neurosis). That being said I don't really know how old you are as of now and how long this 'healing' would take (the more trauma you have and the more deeply ingrained it is the longer it'll take, but you'll be free from those burdensome mental shackles if you actually do the work). But from the looks of things you have a lot of trauma to work through. I'm also trying to better myself by healing as of now and I'm looking into things like shadow work and Jungian psychology so I can slightly emphatise with you even if it's only a little bit (but that being said I have grown a lot in the last few years, and just these little changes in mindset have already made me much much happier than I used to be). I haven't suffered your pain of course and I don't truly know the life you've lived or what kind of experiences you've gone through. But at the end of the day it's up to you to keep being a 'loser' or to try and change.This way you'll at least know you tried your best at trying to fix your life even if you do die, at least you won't have regrets this way. Because there just has to be a way right? It took me quite a few years to realise this, and now i'm at the point where I actually need to be doing the 'healing' work in question. And somehow I think it'll be the same for you. Just... don't give up just yet, life is just too beautiful to die early for. That's what I think at least. I hope this comment helped you in some way. Because somewhere deep down inside you you must also want to change for the better right? PS: Here are some realisations I had to see how beautiful life can be. The beauty of nature for example, just realising the fact that you're here on a planet that billions of years old, and that you're even alive at all is a miracle. Just by looking at a tree there are infinite complexities in that alone. Like the patterns of it's root bark, how some trees can be a thousand years old, and then realising that a thousand years means that that tree started growing before America was even discovered by Columbus, before there was electricity, before there were cars, planes, bycicles, etc! Even if you just look at a leaf, the amount of complex little details in just that leaf alone will take you years to even understand fully. And that's why it's so beautiful. I tried my best trying to explain why I find nature so beautiful in words because in reality I just 'feel' the beauty radiating from everything that lives. And now i'm trying to learn to appreciate the beauty of all things, but that will take me some more work. I wrote this hoping you could see a bit of what I could see, and with just this alone it should be enough to keep on living for. Suicide is when you've given up hope on doing anything at all. But usually that's just your mind/ego tricking you into thinking it'll always be like this, but it won't, and you can improve your situation. We all can, so don't give up! Did you watch the video I sent last time by the way?

It rings hollow because most people don't agree with the idea the idea that procreating is unethical. And everyone has variations to their ethical compass. I see having children as ethically neutral and in the realm of personal sovereignty. And some people see not having children as unethical. And even if someone does theoretically agree that having children is unethical, the desire to have children is so meaningful to people that they'd absolutely be willing to break from that abstract idea that "procreation is unethical" in order to have kids. Like, if you really wanted to have kids, you would drop antinatalism like a hot potato. Not to mention the fact that having children comes from having sex... and people like to have sex. And there are tons of "oops!" babies that come into existence even though they weren't explicitly planned on. So, even if everyone got on board with the antinatalist ideology and was in agreement that having kids is unethical and defied their own deep desire to have children to be "ethical" in that way... there would still be "Oops!" babies. The only way to actually enact an antinatalist ideology would be to forcibly sterilize everyone against their will... which would bring us into eugenics territory But here are my counter-arguments... 1. Every decision you make... including the decision to donate to charity... is one that you make because it feels right to you or makes you feel good. There is no such thing as a selfless decision. And having children is no different. But that doesn't mean that you see your children as a mere tool of your happiness. Good parenting is a one-way street where you give care and they receive it to grow into themselves as people. The benefit that I get is that my children are really cool people to be around and it's amazing to watch them grow... and I'm glad to know them as people and to have them as my family. They are very much wanted by me... but their existence doesn't belong to me. 2. You don't know that the person you bring into this world won't value their life tremendously either. And you rob so many of them a chance to live and exist and experience if (hypothetically) society adopts an anti-natalist ideology. I am glad that my parents procreated and had me. I'm quite sure that my kids are also glad that I procreated and had them... as they don't wish not to exist. Most people prefer to live and want to continue existing... even if they encounter suffering in their lives. Most people do not attempt suicide or commit suicide. So, you are setting up a situation where people who would want to exist are disallowed from existence for the sake of an ideology. 3. A non-existent person cannot consent to existence (if we look from an Earthly perspective). So, that is a moot point. You have to exist to consent. Consenting only happens in the domain of existence. So, you cannot consent to existence. Therefore, you are simply acting as the ultimate authority and assume that everyone who exists is non-consenting... and you project your own ideas onto them and rescind consent for them. You assume their no... when perhaps they wanted to give an enthusiastic yes to life. Instead, you project an unpopular ideology onto them that assumes that they are forced to exist against their will. It's like stealing something precious from a sentient being by assuming that that sentient being doesn't want to exist. Now, of course, there are plenty of potential people who don't get born into existence. And I see that as being the sovereign prerogative of a given person as to whether or not they want to bring life into the world. But because you are saying, "Let's not bring people into this world because they might not want to exist.", my rebuttal is "What about the majority of people who do want to exist? Maybe 5% of people who are brought into existence, don't want to exist. But why deny the 95% of people who do want to exist for the sake of the 5%?" But ultimately, antinatalism rings hollow because the only people who agree with it are people who are looking for a post hoc justification for not having kids. The people who believe it's unethical to not have children tend to lord their perceived moral superiority over those who choose not to have kids... and badger them about "being selfish" and hounding them to have kids. So, as a rebuttal, those who don't want to have children use the antinatalist ideology to be like, "Actually, I'm the morally superior one... and you're being selfish for having kids." Almost no one else agrees with antinatalism. And even if they do, if having kids is meaningful to them, they will still have kids.

The highest suicide rates are in poor and/or non-Western countries.

Dude she cut her hair and has short hair right now . Had me contemplating suicide 😂.

TL;DR 33M gay/homoflexible engineer (probably AuDHD) trying to figure out what freedom and purpose look like after years of depression, burnout, and a toxic relationship. Therapist asked: "If you had financial freedom for life, what would you do?" Still working on that one. --- Forgive me if this has been posted before — this is my first post and the search bar doesn’t seem to work. So, quick background. 33M, gay/homoflexible (with some pent-up 50-shades-level fantasies... Catholic guilt hits hard). I don’t love labels, but I guess I’d fall somewhere on the “AuDHD” spectrum. Like Leo, I’ve found pretty much every career I’ve tried miserable. Unlike Leo, I haven’t found my calling yet. Being an engineer, whether software or electrical, just isn’t it for me. It sucks. No offense to those who enjoy it. My therapist (straight, no feelings) posed this question as homework: “Suppose you had financial freedom — just enough to be comfortable, think universal basic income, guaranteed for life. What would you do with your time?” To be honest; I'm stumped. One of my biggest issues with traditional jobs has always been the lack of autonomy. I’ve always had a little oppositional defiance in me. Probably still do; it's just transmuted into something else. When I was in second grade, I punched my teacher for not playing by the rules of a game she made up. I also refused to wear my kindergarten graduation gown because I thought it looked stupid (mortifying my parents, I’m sure). So yeah, I was a weird kid. Throughout my 20s I came to grips with my sexuality, and maybe over-corrected a bit. I didn’t get into hard drugs or poppers like many in the gay community; shout-out to D.A.R.E. for working on at least one of us lol. I can't say the same for Scared Straight . Joking aside, I definitely got hooked on “electronic drugs” — Grindr, hookups, porn, the usual. So while Dr. Jekyll was supposed to be building a career, Mr. Hyde (pun intended) was coming out of the closet. By my late 20s, things started to shift. I stopped caring what people thought. I realized I didn’t have acne anymore, I looked good, I was confident. Then, at 31, I dated a narcissist with BPD. After cutting ties I'd sought therapy and my therapist told me exactly what was going on; my ex totally blind-sighted me. That relationship wrecked me. Constant blame, manipulation, and guilt. On one side, I was juggling a toxic partner. On the other, another miserable job. When both finally collapsed, it was like a reset button had been hit and I had zero shits left to give; I was oddly at peace with losing both. Then when I had a falling out with some "friends" turned business partners a few months thereafter; again I was at relative peace (granted; as my therapist would explain to me; one of those partners had a similar personality to my ex, if not worse. But because I'd already processed my ex and the fact that I wasn't sleeping with my business partner, it was a much easier break. Now, for the first time in 11 years, I’m not even remotely depressed (no drugs either unless you want to count Lamictal; which I take for epilepsy) I used to cry daily watching Leo’s videos, basically doing self-help masturbation, while thinking about suicide. I actually attempted twice, both times tied to career despair and identity chaos. Now the only time I bring it up is when I tell people how I survived it. I reconnected with an old friend a week ago (after six years). I think I said "I know I'm not a 10/10... maybe a 7/10, but I know I'm good enough and when I'm ready to date again that person is going to have an excellent partner" and he responded, “No, you look the same... but different. You’re easily a 9.5/10 and you had some sort of glow-up. For once look happy." So tying this all together... so what do I actually do with this hypothetical freedom? Part of me wants to go a little feral. To let loose all the repressed sexual energy and just live without guilt or rules. My ex killed off any real desire for a relationship (for now). More often than not I'd always do solo travel as a means of escaping sexual repression. In fact, the first time I came out was on a tour of Australia after my tour guide found me on Grindr (a dry-run before the real deal). Don't get me wrong, I love nature and that's why I chose Australia for my first solo adventure (perfect blend of nature and hot guys). While I'd love to do more nature travel, I can’t travel to most of Asia or Africa due to medication restrictions. For me, while I'm not super interested in European history (sorry in advance... I guess castles are cool and the food is always great at least) Europe is attractive to me because the guys are hot lmao. Most recently though I did go away to Costa Rica and I brought a friend (actually, my other ex... whom I now consider one of my best friends) and I didn't go for sex for a change and I did genuinely feel grounded and at peace there. I had several bucket-list destinations I'd wanted to visit and Costa Rica was the last one on the list (and possibly my favorite... neck and neck with Australia). Anyway, I know sexual indulgence, while fun, isn’t the real answer. It’s temporary. It’s not a calling. It’s just blowing off steam after years of repression. After eleven years of depression, losing myself in work and relationships, it’s like I’ve been dropped into an empty white room with a blank canvas. I’ve picked up some hobbies, joined a sports league, made new friends, got back in the gym after an injury. But those are just activities. That's not a life calling. I know y'all probably drank that out of a fire hose, but I'd love your take.

@Inliytened1 I think its a problem, but men cannot see it because society taught them to be hyper independent and we know the current situation of mens mental health as a result of that. Statistically speaking married or long-term partnered men live aprox 10 years longer than single men, they tend to commit less suicide, they are more successful, they are healthier, they have lower cortisol levels. Talking about humans in general, people with strong social and romantic connections have a 50% higher likelihood of survival when compared to those who were isolated or single. The worst thing you can do to a human is to put him/her in solitary confinement, it's funny how little effort men put into relationships given the data. Maybe Im a hopeless romantic but I think there is so much value in having a sacred union, a supportive partner, to help each other grow through life, there is a lot os goodness that was discarded with religion, we threw the baby with the bath water and now wee qre ll suffering in silence and dont even know why.

@Yeah Yeah Hm but why are you so adamant about suicide? I mean not like i'd stop you or anything but WHY do you feel like life is BS? Why do you think existence is just suffering? From my point of view it looks like your perspective is twisted in some way. Wouldn't you need to know how it feels to suffer to know how it feels to be content with your life? To me it feels like your statement about wanting to commit 100% guaranteed suffering free suicide is hiding something else. And i'm just assuming a lot of things here but maybe THERE IS something wrong here? But who knows, maybe you're not normal either and you genuinely get no joy out of life or something. I think you're just trying to cover something by being so adamant about the suicide thing. I don't know what you're trying to cover but it definitely feels like you're not telling the full story here. AGAIN i'm assuming a whole lot here (I'm assuming you're a pretty normal human with an average body composition and an average bio-chemistry, I'm assuming that you might have some sort of mental illness that you're trying to hide with the things you said about the government assisted suicide stuff and i'm also assuming that you actually want an answer that might be able to help you. I don't know you or how your mind works so I unfortunately have to do at least this many assumptions). I would like to know your thoughts on this video from actualized.org tho: curious as to what your answer might be. I also think Leo brought up some interesting points in this video.

The Argument for the Rightful Exit If reason grants us the ability to reflect on existence, it must also grant us the right to end it. The Stoics—Seneca, Epictetus, and later Marcus Aurelius—saw life as a loan, not a possession; returning it, when its purpose or dignity fades, is not sin but wisdom. David Hume, writing in the 18th century, argued that suicide violates no divine or moral law: it harms neither God nor society if one’s existence has ceased to benefit either. From that lineage comes the claim that civilization itself is incomplete until it acknowledges this right. Just as we developed medicine to prolong life, reason demands medicine to end it peacefully. A synthesized, humane compound—a painless, deliberate “exit”—should be as accessible as anesthetic, under the same reverence we give to birth, surgery, or sleep. Such an invention would not glorify death; it would dignify choice. It would recognize that the will to die, when born of lucidity, is not madness but metaphysical agency—the highest form of ownership over the self.

You refer to ethics as an objective criterion; if it's objective, then it must exist somewhere. So either it's a theological bias—it's written in a sacred book/one you believe in—or it actually just comes from your imagination and is probably just a reflex to generalize your superego, given that it's partly unconscious. Hence the fact that "atheists" who claim to be ethical will say something like, "It's something obvious deep down in each of us", well no, it's not universally obvious; it's just the projection of your own superego and, by extension, the ideas of your collective unconscious. Hence the fact that some cultures (Northern European and Anglo-Saxon countries, Hindus, etc.) have a higher prevalence of veganism regardless of social conditions. Even if you're not religious, if you don't go to church, etc., you have mental structures influenced by religion, and you generalize from that. Besides, Jung said that Europeans/white people are essentially Christian whether they like it or not, because it's ingrained in the collective unconscious. I don't have a moral compass; I don't think in those terms, at least not as much as you and others. It seems so. You are dismissing the solution of aligning the conscious with the unconscious. That is to say, the possibility that your moral compass is faulty. No, your moral compass is both conscious and unconscious (the unconscious part is precisely what motivates globalization under idealistic or even religious language such as "ethics" or "morality"), and your instinctual desires are fundamentally unconscious. Your conflict, on the contrary, is a confrontation between what you have learned, the legacy of your upbringing and the collective unconscious, as I said earlier, which are more or less conscious, and your atavistic desires. I mentioned neurosis somewhere because, without going into the psychoanalytic genesis of the phenomenon—that's not the point—the more neurotic a person is (we all are to some extent), the more they tend to go against their id as if it were good, a right thing, something worthwhile. Everyone exploits everyone else, even when you think you're in love with your boyfriend it's low-key energy business. As I've said elsewhere, even adopting your idealistic paradigm, yes, there are particularly unethical production chains, but they're a minority. Where I live, there's a lot of free-range cattle and chicken farming; many people also keep chickens because it's easy. These animals shouldn't live because they're "exploited"? That's delusional. Most vegans are indeed urban white people who constantly exploit others through their lifestyle; most of your gadgets were produced through exploitation, and not good exploitation at that. When you buy a smartphone, you're buying something from a company (Foxconn) that have suicide nets in their gigantic factories. Why is living a relatively peaceful life outdoors, safe from predators and hunger, before being quickly killed with a bullet to the head to feed people directly or indirectly (through manure), considered wrong? Like, why would that be "wrong"? Especially if, without getting into any of that nonsense, you don't particularly care about other humans. It's a strange delirium; the whole of life is exploitation and power dynamics. It's not ugly, it's just nature; what's ugly is hurting yourself and becoming hostile to others because you're living in a delirium.

Look up pictures of suicide cases a few days before they committed it. People look happy even tho they aren’t. It’s almost expected that you fake happiness in society. And happiness is transient anyways. Those people were both happy & miserable just like you and I. Trading half a dollar for 50 cents.