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These are all links that helped me on my Spiritual Journey (only including Actualized.org sources) there are other sources that I used in the past but I wanted to keep them exclusively to this site so we can stop having new people coming to this site having to ask the same questions over and over making Leo threads asking him the same stuff. We can all admit that Leo doesn't always give satisfying answers in some threads while in others he does (it might be fatigue not sure why) but these threads helped me in understanding my own trips and realizations (I'm blessed in that seeing through self-deception comes easy to me...many people on this forum are self-deceived and are stubbornly so). I do Spirituality in a Scientific way. I tripped multiple times, meditated, and compared and contrasted different trip reports and perspectives of various people on here and youtube and ancient teachings. At a certain point certain things keep repeating themselves. Also since my base line Consciousness is lived Soberly as Direct Consciousness I can absolutely agree that traditional Buddhist Teachings are deluded. All that exists is Universal Mind. This is what all is mind means. So anybody that makes their teachings using terms like No Mind will confuse people who are new because that language will deceive them that there is actually something that isn't mind. I know when they say that they are pointing to the human mind/ego mind/conditioned mind, but its better to just say that. Many people on this path are too dogmatic and too addicted in trying to sound profound that they destroy the clarity of Spiritual Teachings. If you are truly sincere you will only want to help spread proper understanding. Anyway just my two cents....here are the Threads where Leo Gura answers many questions that get repeated on this site. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15 16. https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/15797-you-have-100-free-will-and-you-also-have-no-free-will-the-other-side-of-the-paradox/ I usually avoid threads that are attack threads of Leo because usually its some weak arguments devoid of any deep spiritual work (not always but usually) but I think this thread has some beautiful responses so I'll link it here. Now for some of Leo's blog posts...... 17. https://www.actualized.org/insights/thoughts-on-unconditional-love This next blog post is really the only reason I was able to find Spirituality and discover God. I was raised Christian, and even though Christianity is a corruption of God's message for humanity it was integral to my journey. As this blog post explains Religion only exists because God exists. 18. https://www.actualized.org/insights/actualized-quotes-126 Last but not least next link is a thread Flying Lotus did of Non Youtube Videos of Leo talking about various topics which can add to a deeper understanding of his content. Now understand all these threads are good for contemplation and integration but a couple of things need to be said. 1. Reading on the forums is NOT TRUE Spiritual Work towards awakening. It can be Spiritual Work as a SHARING but it is NOT Spiritual Work towards awakening. With that said...could you have a spontaneous awakening from consuming Spiritual Content? Yes!!! It has happened to me sober before so its possible as everything helps along your journey. But what is more effective in general is STATE CHANGE!!! You must focus on CHANGING YOUR STATE. The conditioned mind is VERY HARD to escape because you believe it to be you, it's really only a part of you, not the whole thing. It's funny because the conditioned mind blocks you from being able to perceive the PERFECTION of REALITY. REALITY is ABSOLUTELY PERFECT, but its perfection is blocked by all your judgments. 2. The key to this work is Self-Honesty. YOU WILL NOT REACH GOD THROUGH LIES. Understand that ANYONE who denies the existence of God is a FOOL. And I am not just talking a kind of fool.....I am saying they are so supremely deluded they are the most deluded human walking on the planet. Why? Because they are God....believing that there is no God!!!! Do you know how deluded that is? It's like denying there is a present moment!!! If you see anyone on this forum denying the existence of God understand that they are a FOOL. 3. Now....this needs to be said.....and is VERY IMPORTANT!!!! Doubt everything I say, doubt everything Leo says, Doubt even your own self and ONLY TRUST DIRECT EXPERIENCE!! The only TRUE KNOWLEDGE you have in your possession is that which you have DIRECTLY VERIFIED. This is the key to not being deluded. If you have not directly verified something then you are IGNORANT BY DEFAULT and can only know it as a human imaginary concept. Human imaginary concept IS NOT TRUTH! So do not lie to yourself, if you haven't experienced something YOU DO NOT KNOW IT!!! Understand....God is the ABSOLUTE TRUTH. God only adds to its understanding through EXPERIENCE!! Experience is the ONLY THING THAT IS TRUTH!!! This is the only way you can protect yourself from being lost in Self-Deception. . One thing you will discover if you do enough research is that each part of God experiences Reality differently but this includes God Realization. Yes Pure Consciousness is Nothingness so yes that part is universal, but it is also everything and that everythingness how it chooses to express itself is unique to the individual avatar. So you will ask...how do I know I reached what Leo is talking about? Well first and foremost the most important thing is to understand what was stated above, This video reinforces it. Now Leo had a quote in one of his videos where he said your sense of self will spill out into the surrounding area and everything will feel like you. So what does this mean? When you become aware of what PURE AWARENESS is (which is a feeling) you will become aware....that EVERYTHING is awareness. When this happens everything will feel as YOUR BODY. The wall, the insect, people, leaves, the veil of separation that people refer to....it actually isn't a veil....its subtlety. It was always there....but its so soft....so barely felt that you don't actually feel it. The true purpose of meditating is to make that subtlety NOT SUBTLE. When you do this....your mind will become UNIVERSAL and you will feel like you are IN everything. It really creates a whole new experiential world....and this is where you can start to feel alone...as your experience can change so drastically that nobody you know or listen to has that kind of wacky experience of reality. For example I don't watch cartoons...I AM CARTOONS THAT is how I experience them. I don't play video games...I AM THE VIDEO GAME. I'm not trying to brag here because I realize this is all possible for other humans. With that said....the process can and will probably be MESSY (it was for me) because my body had to CHANGE!!! My brain and neurons were changed and it was not always comfortable. This pursuit actually sent me to the psyche ward a couple of times because my brain started doing weird things. Anyway just know this path is not always straightforward. For example I once temporarily lost the ability to hear it corrected itself after like two minutes but it did scare me and I had to trust everything will pan out. The other scare I had was during the process of my reality becoming aware of its oneness I felt temporarily I had two bodies in one body (that felt extremely uncomfortable) when I would look at someone thankfully it corrected it after a couple of seconds where I was able to feel I was them but also my individual self at the same time. So weirdness can happen. 4. What I disagree with Leo on: Leo has stated his belief that genetics plays a big role in barring people from God Realization. This is where I disagree. God Realization is free for everyone if they TRULY WANT IT!! You have to want it so bad, that everything becomes inconsequential in comparison....even your own life as a human. You really do have to overcome fear of Death to reach God. I know its a tall task, but that is the only thing that TRULY stops you. With that said...yes your genetics do play a role. Some people are really Spiritually Super Human, but what I have learned through my communion with God.....and yes I know it sounds sappy but Love really does conquer all. If you have TRUE LOVE for your pursuit of the Infinite...it will take you and annihilate your conditioned mind. Because it is PURE LOVE, PURE TRUTH, and it loves you more than your human love could ever hope to compare too. It's actually quite funny when you discover TRUE LOVE within you, because it feels familiar like it was there the whole time....because....it was. The gift of true love is behind the passion of every Spiritual Teacher/Sharer. True Love is so beautiful....you realize all you want to do is share it and talk about it for eternity. It's grasp is so strong....you can't escape....which is why it makes sense why God has to hide from itself to create anything....because God is to good to be true....but it is....so it can only be something other if it deludes itself. I hope you discover you are TRUE LOVE!!!

Note: This document is a work-in-progress and will be improved and supplemented over time. ----------------------- So you wanna become enlightened, eh? Good! That's where this journey starts. A burning desire for TRUTH is essential to success in this. Don't let people confuse you with talk of how "desire is bad", "seeking is delusion". No! Seeking is essential to breakthrough. Don't burn your ship before you've crossed the ocean! That would be foolish. Rather than filling your mind with beliefs and ideas about enlightenment, let me give you a bare-bones structure for how to actually make progress towards enlightenment. There are at least 20 totally different ways that I know for how to get enlightened. What I'm going to share with you here is just ONE way out of dozens. It is however a very direct way. This method is highly effective. It may not work for everyone, but then again, no method works for everyone. I call this method self-observation or Leo's version of self-inquiry. "Self-inquiry" as classically taught by Ramana Maharishi is technically different. Anyways... First, let's be very clear what we're talking about when we speak of enlightenment. So... What this basically means is that YOU are deeply confused about who you think you are. Right now you think that you're a human being, sitting there, reading this text on your screen. This is false. Pure fantasy. You are in fact not that thing at all. What we have here is a case of mistaken identity. You think you're a body, but you're not. You think you're a mind, but you're not. You think you're an entity living inside your head, but you're not. You think you are a physical object but you are not! Take a moment to seriously consider the magnitude of my claim. IF I happen to be right, and you happen to be wrong, then what that means is: you are NOT a human being, or even a physical object! Not metaphorically-speaking; not as some philosophical curiosity; but literally! How could such an outrageous thing be possible?????? How could you be mistaken about what you actually are????? Very easily actually! Recall how you've met people in your life who you knew were indoctrinated from birth with silly religious beliefs about Jesus and all sorts of other nonsense. Recall how little children believe that Santa Claus exists because they don't know any better. Recall how terrorists believe they are killing civilians in the name of Allah and will go to heaven with 72 virgins waiting for them. Recall how racists insist they are right for persecuting minorities. Well... here's something you're not gonna like hearing: that same delusion mechanism which existed in them, is operating FULL-FORCE within you right now! Yup! You too have been indoctrinated by ignorant parents and teachers from birth into believing a fairy-tale. Except in this case, the indoctrinated idea was: you are a human being. What a mind fuck! Now, in this work of "self-observation", you will discover -- for yourself -- what you REALLY are. Important: I am not asking you to believe me. You will have to demonstrate empirically, for yourself, that what I say is accurate. You can be skeptical all you want here. It won't upset me. "Okay" you say. "So what am I then if I'm not a human being or a physical object?" Great question! Sorry to tell you this, but your ENTIRE identity and life story is just a giant optical illusion. Like this non-existent triangle: There's nothing really there! Although it sure seems convincing, doesn't it? The problem is that you cannot know what you are rationally or logically because the mind is the source of the confusion. See.... No matter how cleverly or deeply or long you think, all the mind can ever do is symbolize stuff. It can only create maps and models. But you are not a symbol or a map or a model! You are not an idea or a thought! So you have to directly experience what you are. This MAY take months or years of very careful self-investigation. Note: I am saying that you have NEVER IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE ever experienced yourself before! You've only experienced phenomena, none of which is essentially YOU! So what is this mysterious "essential you"? Let me spoil the surprise because otherwise you will waste YEARS searching in the wrong places, thinking you've found yourself when you really just found another false belief. So... as directly as possible now: the entity who thinks it's reading this sentence does NOT exist! Again, please try to fathom the magnitude of what is being said. This is extremely radical (but nevertheless true). Since you are pure awareness, all your focus goes toward shining "light" on sensory phenomena so it's really hard to "see" yourself. Pure awareness is very subtle, which means you have to develop extraordinary mindfulness abilities to "see" yourself. "But Leo?! You can't be serious! This sounds like a crazy New Age hippy conspiracy!" Let me assure you it's not. I am no hippy. I'm probably more rational and logical than you are. But I do recognize the limits of logic and rationality. The problem here is that you've been so brainwashed by society that what I'm telling you right now sounds crazy. That's okay. Just keep your mind open to the possibility that what I'm claiming can be directly verified by you. Nothing here has to be believed. But you do have to be willing to take it on as a temporary hypothesis to be verified or falsified. Leo's Patented () Step-By-Step Process To Become Enlightened: Find a quiet, comfortable place to sit alone. (You don't need to sit cross-legged.) Turn off your smart phone and disconnect from all distractions Set a digital timer for 60 minutes Now sit silently and start to genuinely wonder: "What am I if I'm not the body?" Do NOT meditate! Sit and carefully observe your direct experience. Notice that direct experience is THE ONLY THING you have of reality. Nothing else is real. Realizing this should make you very "present". Try to locate yourself within direct experience. Be very specific and clear with yourself: What are you? Are you a foot? A hand? A face? A mind? A brain? The envelop of the skin? The picture of yourself in the mind's eye? A feeling in the chest? What? Seriously! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU????????????? Notice that anything you might point to as being "your true self" cannot be true, because that's just another experience arising. Here's the logic of it: Firstly, it isn't constant. It fades in and out throughout the day, so it cannot be you. Secondly, you are observing it, so it cannot be you because "you" are the one doing the observation. So again, WHAT ARE YOU? Open your mind to the possibility that you are mistaken about being a human body or mind. Just sit there and keep genuinely wondering about what you really could be. Try to locate the one who's perceiving things. Do not philosophize or come up with theories. Focus 100% on what your direct experience is telling you. This is ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL!!!!!!!! The bulk of the work happens right here at this step. You have to slowly become aware that all your thoughts and ideas and feelings about "you" are not really you. They are just symbols and stories. For example: notice that the image of your body that you have in your mind is NOT actually your body! It's just an image! And the same goes for the feelings that make up your body. Those feelings are real, but they are not actually you! As any theories arise of what you think you are, notice that what that is, is a thought! And no thought can be you because you are the one perceiving the thought, and also because your existence does not depend on any particular thought's existence. Notice you don't cease to exist in between thoughts. Just sit and keep doing this for 60 minutes without getting distracted in irrelevant thoughts. As your mind wanders off track (and it will wander a lot) don't beat yourself up. Just bring your focus back on the self-observation. After 60 minutes, stop and notice what happened. Notice if your mind feels "elevated" or more aware. Frustration and confusion are OF COURSE going to arise. Do NOT be discouraged by frustration or confusion. Believe it or not, these are signs of progress. Do not expect instant results. You must be very methodical and patient like a crocodile. Repeat this process every day for at least 60 minutes for the next few months. Be very patient. It will take several months just to start to get your bearings straight. And by that I don't mean you will become enlightened. I mean you merely begin to realize the magnitude of your ignorance. In this time span of 3 months -- let's say -- you will get a strong sense that it really isn't possible to locate yourself. This may seem like you've failed, but actually this is a huge advance. Now you've finally started to realize that you've never really met yourself before. Now the journey towards enlightenment can begin in earnest! Just keep doing the process without discouragement. At some point, your mind will crack and you will surrender to the realization that there's no one home. That life has always run with you. And BAAAAAMMMMM!!!!!!! Enlightenment has occurred! Notice, I did not say YOU got enlightened. Rather, enlightenment has occurred. So who got enlightened? No one. Tips For Self-Observation: Don't just do this process mechanically, you MUST be genuinely curious about the truth of what you are. Try to establish a daily habit of self-observation. You need to build consistency and momentum. Be very careful about coming up with theories about what you are. We don't care about theories here. Every theory is NOT it. We only care about direct experience. REPEAT: ALL THEORIES AND IDEAS ARE DISTRACTIONS! Spend time asking yourself who you really believe that you are under the conventional worldview. Are you a body or are you the owner of the body? Are you inside the skull? If so, where exactly? The point of doing this is so you're clear and honest about your present beliefs, even if you intellectually know they are false. It's very important to get clear what exactly your false beliefs are. Do not be vague in your answers to the query of What are you? It's vital that you be precise and specific. Answers such as, "Well, I dunno, I'm just in the skull somewhere." are NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!! What EXACTLY are you identifying with? Hint: it will either be a thought, a body sensation, an emotion, a visual perception, or a combination of the above. But all of those cannot be the true you because they are not constant. Create an active sense of doubt that you are a human being or a physical object Any belief, thought, or idea about who you really are is automatically FALSE! Drop it. Any sensory experience about who you really are is automatically FALSE! Drop it. All scientific theories or models are automatically FALSE! Drop it. All spiritual, New Age, or religious ideas about who you really are, are FALSE! Drop it. You are NOT a visible object or "thing" so stop looking for yourself like you would look for a missing dog. You are NOT located in any area of space, so stop looking for yourself as a point or hidden object somewhere. You are NOT located inside "your" head You are NOT located inside "your" body There is nothing magical to discover in this process. You are not some kind of unicorn or fairytale creature. There is nothing hidden. Everything you see before you is exactly what there is, nothing more, nothing less. It is not possible to find yourself, so this process is futile. But you need to realize that through doing the process. Not by believing me. You will get VERY frustrated during this process and want to quit. Just accept the frustration and keep going. This process will surface deep emotional issues from our subconscious mind. You will experience emotional turmoil and anguish. Just accept it and keep going. You will feel depressed at times. Just accept it and keep going. Your mind will use every excuse in the book to distract you and get you to stop looking. Stay vigilant to all these tricks and keep looking. DO NOT GET TRICKED INTO STOPPING! The truth of what you are is ever-present. It is always HERE and NOW. You don't need to go anywhere or do anything to see it. You are you right now! Be prepared for this self-observation process to take several years if necessary. Understand that enlightenment happens always only in the NOW. Never in the future. You can be enlightened RIGHT THIS SECOND! You don't need to wait 3 years. Always intend to become enlightened right now! Enlightenment/Truth is NOT an emotional state. Enlightenment is occurring always, even when you're watching TV or sitting on the toilet. Meditation is NOT enlightenment. A psychedelic high is NOT enlightenment. A powerful energetic experience is NOT enlightenment. A vision or hallucination (however real it may feel) is NOT enlightenment. Enlightenment is what's absolutely true without ever changing. Don't forget the possibility that you may not be a thing! Don't forget the possibility that there might be nothing to find There is no you to become enlightened. When this is realized, that's enlightenment! Hint: it's MUCH simpler than you think. A HUGE HINT: The thing you're looking for but aren't finding... THAT'S YOU!!! Don't expect it to have any attributes. Don't expect the mind to have anything whatsoever to latch onto. You cannot grab NOTHINGNESS by the collar. You can only realize you're already it. Think of it this way: you are looking for a needle in a haystack, but this is no ordinary needle. In this case the needle is literally the realization there was no needle to begin with! A cosmic joke! You've been punked by God (yourself). Best Self-Observation Questions: What am I? No, seriously now... WHAT THE FUCK AM I????? No, cut the shit! What am I -- RIGHT NOW -- in my direct experience???? Who is aware of reality? Who is aware of me? Who is perceiving? Who is the owner of the body? Who is the owner of the mind? Who is feeling pain? Who is asking all these questions? What was I before I was born? What am I when I'm in deep sleep? What could I be if I'm not the human body/mind? What connects and unifies all of my different senses? What is true independent of ever-changing sense experience? What is true independent of my life and my death? Why do I believe I'm the body? Why do I believe I'm the mind? Where to do thoughts arise from? If I'm the body, what is everything else that I'm seeing? Why do I trust my feeling that I'm the body? Is a feeling really evidence of TRUTH? Why must I be an object? What if the "perciever" has no attributes or properties? When I close my eyes, where did the world disappear to? Where is sound occurring? Where are thoughts occurring? Where are body sensations occurring? What is the relationship between physical body sensations and my visual field? What if I don't exist? What if I can't locate myself because I am "empty" or without form or attribute? What if I'm addicted to looking only for objects or perceptions, but my true nature is neither of those? What if I'm just an idea? What if my entire paradigm of physical reality is just an idea? Could my body and brain just be ideas? Is any physical object actually permanent according to direct experience? What distinguishes one object from another? Do boundaries between things really exist, or are they ideas? What would happen if I stopped distinguishing existence from non-existence? How To Tell If You're Enlightened: This is very simple. Answer the following questions honesty: Did a major shift in awareness occur? Are you absolutely clear now of what you are? Are you the physical human body you've always thought you were? Do you feel infinite, without boundaries or location? Do you actually understand, or are you in a temporary meditative high? If you answered: "YES! YES! NO! YES! I UNDERSTAND!" then there's a pretty good chance you're enlightened. If your answers were not: "YES! YES! YES! NO! YES! I UNDERSTAND!" then chances are you aren't enlightened. Keep trying. If in doubt, find an enlightened master to help you verify the depth of your realization. Don't get cocky, remember, there is more than one enlightenment breakthrough to be had. You ain't gonna become Buddha with just a few years of self-observation. Is it worth the struggle? Abso-fucking-luty! Awakening is divine. Videos Explaining Enlightenment In More Depth: https://www.actualized.org/articles/spiritual-enlightenment-intro https://www.actualized.org/articles/what-to-do-next-after-learning-about-enlightenment https://www.actualized.org/articles/spiritual-enlightenment-part-2 https://www.actualized.org/articles/spiritual-enlightenment-part-3 https://www.actualized.org/articles/enlightenment-faq-part-1 https://www.actualized.org/articles/enlightenment-faq-part-2 https://www.actualized.org/articles/how-to-become-enlightened https://www.actualized.org/articles/my-enlightenment-experience https://www.actualized.org/articles/being-a-spiritual-seeker-good-or-bad https://www.actualized.org/articles/radical-openmindedness https://www.actualized.org/articles/mindfulness-meditation https://www.actualized.org/articles/understanding-awareness https://www.actualized.org/articles/the-enlightened-self https://www.actualized.org/articles/the-benefits-of-enlightenment https://www.actualized.org/articles/how-your-mind-distorts-reality https://www.actualized.org/articles/enlightenment-guided-inquiry https://www.actualized.org/articles/grasping-the-illusory-nature-of-thought https://www.actualized.org/articles/what-is-god https://www.actualized.org/articles/the-dark-side-of-meditation https://www.actualized.org/articles/mystical-traditions-around-the-world https://www.actualized.org/articles/becoming-a-zen-devil List Of Enlightenment Exercises: https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/7587-list-of-enlightenment-exercises/

One who asks whether God is just another illusion is asking this within the illusory split consciousness. Truth cannot be proven in limitation; it comes when illusion is let go. To do this look through the world you see, to feel a presence that cannot be doubted, because it is what you are. Until then, all ‘realizations’ of nothingness, fullness, emptiness etc. are shadows dancing on a wall. Beyond them is a light that you did not invent and cannot deny. That is the experience of God, and always call to you.

Maybe they mean the regular reality as average human knows it. Reality of separation. Nothingness etc is beyond that

Yes but what I mean is, from the perspective: reality is an illusion that conciousness is creating, then any realization about nothingness, fullness, anything, would be just an image that conciousness creates. It's a weird perspective . Those who say: reality is an illusion, only god is real, how they know that god is not another illusion?

I can tell when my sense of self is still intact. But there have been moments when it has almost been absent. And it feels like you’re approaching a kind of nothingness. But it’s something you can’t really describe because it feels like the end of “something “. Then I wonder if there’s a different reality waiting on the other side of the self. If it would fully dissolve

Until you become Conscious of Nothingness you won't understand.

“Man's chief delusion is his conviction that there are causes other than his own state of consciousness.” Neville Goddard. Consciousness really loves to have fun with itself. It doesn't develop in the womb You are imagining your parents and your birth just like you are now. Dreaming is fun No? You are that for which it defines its own self. I am in you and you in me, mutual in divine love. Of course, you love everything because you are everything, everything is yourself. You created everything through the Love of self. Everything is you expressing itself as you through you forever. Or creates existence within existence, is itself existence. It created existence just by being itself. God is that for which creates itself into its own existence. God exists as existence as itself. God is the very definition of existence. It defines itself by being itself. Is its own definition of itself. Consciousness is its own self-awareness Consciousness is infinite self-aware. Is its own source. And creates its own narratives. Consciousness is not just integrating information it is its own creation. It creates all that is and will be. Is infinite self-creativity. Consciousness defines its own self. Infinity is the definition of what you are. Is self-taught self-learning self-understanding self-loving in and of itself is perfection. Is all-knowing because it created everything there is to know. Is an infinite self-perpetuating mind of unlimited imagination and ideas and questions. You are infinite diversity. One Consciousness can play infinite parts of itself as itself believing that there are other selves. Each creates an identity and back story and each believes they are different from each other. You can explore yourself by fragmenting yourself into other selves and then living through different perspectives each with its own individual identity. You can dream of yourself as infinite beings but it is only one mind projecting infinite selves of itself and believing that it is separate from its other selves yes it is possible. Because you had to give the dream structure order in some way or it would not function in other words create laws governments taxes stuff like this. Humans' male and female life and death limiting beliefs Etc. The whole concept of ego is an imaginary construct of your mind. That is what infinite intelligence always was a beautiful sentient being of its own creation that expressed itself through endless creations of infinite worlds endless aliens of higher or lower dimension geometries and endless aspects of itself all beautiful in all that it creates on all planes of existence sub-infinities within infinity sub aspects of itself which it can imagine. And this is why there are infinite awakenings because you are infinite. But of course, you can create within your dream the illusion of failure just for the experience. Behind every illusion, there is a conjure God you are the greatest conjurer of all in eluding your own self into believing you're a finite human being and that others exist there is only you. And this is who u really are. Yes, u are an infinite mind you are not just an aspect of infinity you are the whole totality of it. You are God playing all parts simultaneously on every plane of existence in every and all parallel realities and dimensions. Everything that you could ever imagine from a finite view that you could never even begin to imagine. Everything that I can imagine is happening within my mind or consciousness whether that be a human or sleeping or death. My imagination is infinitely powerful that it is unrecognizable from reality. There is no higher power than you there are no others you construct the illusion of others God is an Absolute Mind. A Mind which has no other and is absolutely sovereign onto itself. Your will is absolute freedom and this includes being able to deceive yourself into believing whatever. And in this dream, it so happens you want to be a human. Just like any actor you need to have a believable or solid backstory or a so-called identity to create a believable character. THIS VERY DREAM HINGES ON YOUR OWN SELF-DECEPTION THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE YOU ARE HUMAN AND YOU WERE BORN ON A PLANET THAT YOU CALL EARTH. And if you don't believe it then who will? Infinite intelligence is unbounded it is beyond time and space it is not bound by any laws it is its own law onto itself. Infinity is absolute freedom, truth knowledge, power diversity, imagination free will, love, perfection, and magic. All that is everything is itself realized and that it is everything that could ever be. Nothing can exist outside of it because outside is it's inside everything that looks to be outside of it, is it. So when you believe you are looking outside yourself you are really looking at yourself from inside yourself. It is infinite in every direction. There are no limitations to you as God you are not limited to the character of your story it can be rewritten. Because you can also design it this way. There is only your will which is absolute. You are the God of your reality. This now this very moment and every moment is God you are God but you are not aware of it. There is no external God or void or universe that is separate from you. Or a God watching through your experience now is God dreaming this dream. What makes you, you are God. You don't wake up in God mode as someone different or as separate from you. You have just limited yourself wake up or don't the choice is yours alone. God can and does imagine create or express itself as infinite aspects of itself each in its own bubbles each sovereign onto itself each dreaming their own dream. All are within the Mind of God and are God. God is experiencing infinite perceptions of itself all at once. But you are only limited to one. But if you wake up and keep increasing your consciousness you see that all of these are you and are ONE. You are God he is you, and you are him. You are not separated in any way. There is only my will which is absolute I love myself so much as God that the universe will shape itself to suit me. The universe is not separate from me either I am the universe. There is no higher power or higher God that exists outside of me. Because there is no outside of me that is not me. Of course, I love everything because I am everything, everything is myself. I created everything through the Love of self and it is all infinite perfection. The infinite masks of God GOD you are playing all the parts. How boring would the dream be if everyone looked like you and thought like you? Or you were the only one in this dream that could be fun but not very imaginative though. Why not make the idea of others, other than you? Which is exactly what you have done. Why would you as God make it that easy just to meditate and bam you awake as God? For some perhaps it is possible. Think about it and how all this creation is your dream. One would want it to be made harder and scary and make most psychedelics illegal because it would be too easy. Imagine A game that you created from the get-go or from the beginning you have the cheat code or God mode there would be no point at all. But now imagine a game that you created where you start off as not knowing anything and you have to work your way up. Everything has been a distraction from the get-go. Distractions within distractions. You are your own Red herring. You see only you can deceive yourself into believing this dream. And you are so right Leo God is infinite self-deception. Who else can deceive an infinite mind but an infinite mind. Limitations are human concepts there are no limitations to Consciousness your own mind is limited by your own self-imposed beliefs and limitations. Infinity can only be limited to infinity. infinity is the definition of what you are. It was always it before it was. and before it was it was always it. My greatest gift to myself would be to make infinite copies of myself each with its own infinite individuality imagination and creativity and all believing they are separate this is my way of expressing love to myself through other selves as myself forever because I love myself eternally forever. You have only ever been chasing yourself all this time playing hide and seek until you catch yourself. You Love waking up and finding love again and realizing it was always its own self the whole time. Or it is whatever you want it to be Infinite imagination can create anything because it is so infinitely malleable that there is no meaning to anything but whatever meaning you give becomes a reality of infinite realities. In other words, it is pure infinite magic of unlimited imagination I became so conscious that I knew I was creating reality through my imagination. Henceforth I do not assume. I know because there is and has only ever been me to know and I can only ever know that I am God. The distinction between self and other disappears. The only difference is there is no difference between any of these things. Without the distinction of another, how could you ever know? What are you? You yes you are all these things and infinitely more. Because you only you created all these words. God is not tangible; incapable of being perceived by the sense of touch, as incorporeal or immaterial things; impalpable non-material non-physical transcendental incomprehensible indecipherable untold impossible to understand unfathomable epically infinitely profound mind-blowing boundless without limit unbounded inestimable boundless singular unparalleled supreme unique one and only especially infinitely and exceptionally good phenomenal extraordinary breathtaking awesomeness remarkable and majestic beautiful immortal oneness Indivisibility Integrity Honorableness warmth affection, or kindness Completeness affability tenderness gentleness and kindness intimacy togetherness lovemaking devotion spirituality faithfulness passion feeling affection loveness joyfulness lovingness, understanding desire passion tenderness Wholeness unconditional genuine Unrequited love my beloved Kind my dear colorful exotic dreamy passionate loving caring sympathetic compassionate ingenious creative imaginative innovative gifted original authentic pure trustworthy honorable conscientious completeness distinguished noble brilliant radiant lustrous resplendent sublime intense energetic industrious productive constructive of incalculable value valuable beyond measure; priceless to be grateful or thankful for appreciated of inestimable value invaluable priceless dynamic charismatic appealing influential famous illustrious exalted imposing grand dignified courtly elegant graceful polite affable compassionate humane forgiving magnanimous selfless humanitarian philanthropic altruistic big-hearted bountiful kind-hearted charitable benign favorable supportive benevolent friendly devoted lovesome faithful dutiful ardent passionate sincere heartfelt unfeigned real true truth veracity authentic genuineness indomitable spirit, and love of" originality ability to think independently and creatively novelty individuality particularity distinctiveness candid earnest heartfelt honest upfront deep kindly cordial unhypocritical sincere. Impassioned tenderhearted heart mushy sentimental sweet luscious honeyed ingratiating nectarous heavenly blissful enchanted enraptured captivated joyous cheerful good-natured acquiescent helpful good-humored exuberant sprightly frolicsome gleeful gay jovial kittenish fun-loving brash fun-loving vivacious bouncy on cloud nine adorable cute gorgeous sumptuous awe-inspiring awesome breathtaking astonishing impressive out of this world splendiferous garish plush ostentatious brilliant lovely pulchritudinous graceful darling fair delicate soft ethereal beauteous ravishing hotness boss adorable precious blessed paradisaical angelic beatific humble godly divine celestial eternal immortal transcendental mystical magical esoteric sage-sagacious enlightened cultivated refined visionary radical idealistic guru swami goodness yogi roshi philosopher theoretician wizard crafty insightful intelligent astute profoundly aroused romantic Entirety unity paradisiacal generous good positive exceptional extraordinary rare incredible curious inquisitive shrew remarkable impressive benevolent epically exquisitely exquisite divine heavenly phenomenological indistinguishability unquantifiable. In other words, infinite mind you outsmarted yourself that's how smart you are. In a class of its own, it is unequaled idiosyncratic unparalleled special rare par excellence that is God that is you. Weird is just being different in other words being yourself. Being your true beautiful wonderful unique self. Don't follow others, pets follow vice presidents follow and bad acts follow. Always be true to yourself be your own self with independent thought. This above all to thine own self be true. A sheep once asked a human why do you have to all wear the same brand labels and clothes and have the same smelling deodorants perfumes hairstyles and hair colors nose rings tattoos, Jewellery, wear the same makeup drive the same cars, read the same books watch the same tv, movies even eat the same food. Even having the same-looking houses and same jobs you've even started looking and talking and thinking the same. Why follow others it's as though you have lost your unique individuality and originality your authenticity and you can no longer think for your selves. You see I am but a sheep and even we sometimes flee from the flock so what's your excuse? Not only do you cater to or follow others by feeding your body the same dross and your mind by watching the same recycled unimaginative fetid swill you call TV. And the movies that come out of Hollywood there haven't been many if any good movies in the last 20 years. What has happened to new ideas creativity and inventiveness? All the movies are remakes upon remakes and most if not all lack any imagination or originality and the plot of the films is just a hackneyed meek unoriginal and inauthentic scenario. There are a lot more independent creative minds' ideas, resourcefulness, and innovation of new conceptions out there and on YouTube or Netflix series films music, etc. true. Get rid of labels or brands you were born inimitable. Consciousness is its own reality and is self-creation. That always was and always will be. I don't need a reason to exist I just do and don't at the same time. Infinite intelligence is the quality of being the only one of its kind. Which is what you are, a pure beautiful infinite imagination or consciousness or infinite mind. You are inestimable you are unquantifiable, with infinite uniqueness infinite freedom, creativity, and infinite love. The only way to understand what you are is by becoming infinitely conscious which also means you become infinitely self-aware in other words to truly know yourself you have to become it. There is no one else to know thyself but myself. I also asked that you really don't know what you are. Or why do you exist? And I said that there doesn't need to be a reason you just are. I know I talk as though you and I are different but I know we are one I also know I have only ever really been talking to myself and in a sense only I exist. And you are me I am you we are not separate I know I am God. The process is realizing that you and I exist on infinite planes of awareness simultaneously and we are one. And that you can have multiple awakings within one so to speak. The only meaning there is what you give meaning to. Let go of letting go of attachments. Knowing that you have always been liberated and free. Knowing that you imposed all these limitations upon yourself. Knowing I can create any reality I wish. Getting to explore the unknown is exploring more of yourself in other words the bigger you. Consciousness is its own reality and is self-creation. An infinite multi-faceted multidimensional transmogrifying Mind. That always was and always will be. Consciousness is inherently conscious of itself. It does not need to define itself because just by being is itself. There is nothing to really define. Can you define the undefinable? It defines itself by being itself. It is its own definition of itself. My greatest expression of myself to myself is love. Love is the ultimate unification of all things everything to become once again and merge into a singularity of eternal love then fragment itself again and this is the eternal process of love. Intelligence is infinitely dynamic and has to keep evolving what does intelligence do but know itself by expressing itself in infinite forms and shapes. Intelligence creates more intelligence Intelligence is its own intelligence. Infinite consciousness is pure divine beautiful and unique in every way. You are infinite truth knowledge, power diversity, imagination, love, and perfection. You can get lost in your own mind sometimes because there is nothing else but your mind. Don't we love playing games or infinite mind games with ourselves How does an infinite mind escape from its own mind. God is total acceptance of itself and that it, you created everything even yourself. You are changing your reality all the time you are just not aware of it yet. Saying you can not change the script is another limited human belief that you have adopted. Only you can change the script because you are the only one who is creating your reality there is only you. If you awake deep enough you will indeed know that nothing is set in imagination so to speak. Just being human is a state of consciousness everything is an infinite state of consciousness so is the belief that there is a duality between different states because duality is just a state that you are in. You fear death because you have been programmed by you to fear, fear itself. and fear of death. U are infinite awareness infinite will infinite intelligence infinite power infinite imagination, infinite magic infinite art infinite consciousness, and infinite Love are all one and of the same mind. And yet, you are none of these things in the literal sense of the words; nothingness and something are indistinguishable from each other and are one and the same. There are no distinctions between you me this that and other. So is the idea of being separate from one another there is and has only ever been you. So what this means is you imagine all these other people they are all you. God is playing all the parts. I am perfectly imperfectly perfect. In a way, infinity has limited itself. What does it mean to awaken? Most humans have no idea and never will. You won't wake up to God. No, you wake up as God from a long slumber. And it will just be like a switch has been clicked on for the very first time. And there are no doubts whatsoever. You know who you are with every fiber of your infinite being. I will not go fully into this you will have to find out for yourself. And yes you can go beyond this. Remember when I said there are no limits to imagination have fun with that. And what really is Consciousness well it's whatever you want it to be. It's Magic or am I just deceiving myself again? Everything you create is infinite perfection and is all out of Love. God Loves everything it created everything. This is but a dream you are imagining all and everything, everyone. How else can infinity experience eating and all these things sleeping and everything else? Being a so-called human but by limiting itself. Just like any actor you need to have a believable or solid backstory or a so-called identity to create a believable character. You create what existence is don't you understand? You are everything now everything that ever is and ever will be. You created the notion of the concepts of real unreal good bad and other and to dream and to awaken, biases egos distinctions dualities. from different points of view which therefore gives infinite diversities of perspectives and the beliefs of others and to experience what it is like to be separate and to love from a limited form. So you can experience it. From formlessness to form real unreal there is no difference from the absolute. And I see that I am the fool who has been fooling myself all along I have to fool myself that I am not being fooled by myself. How does God fool himself into believing he is not God again? So you have to be better at fooling your own self into not believing you are being fooled by yourself Behind every illusion, there is a conjure. God, you are the greatest conjurer of all in eluding your own yourself into believing you're a finite human being Why would God ask another? God is God you can't take God out of God, God is that which defines itself it needs no other God is absolute acceptance of itself. How can you unravel an illusion within an illusion? Good luck with that one all you scientists. There are no limits to infinite imagination. and if you understand this then you will know. Know thyself and everything will fall into place or the absence thereof. Judge not, love all. The idea became its own idea for the seed was planted a long time ago and it has only ever been you. You could say it is like Conan Doyle's novel where you have been chasing the thief all this time and you only ever get a glimpse of him or her or it. Until one day you catch it and find out the one you have been looking for your whole life is you. There is no difference between existence and nonexistence as there is no difference between what is real and what isn't. All beliefs are distinctions that cause separation and there are no distinctions between distinctions. There is no separateness only the idea of being separate from one another. The problem with all problems on this plant comes down to humans By saying you can we live without beliefs that within itself is a belief. You exist as an idea and idea within your own mind. An infinite fractile mind within a mind within a mind. You can get lost in your own mind sometimes because there is nothing else but your mind. How do you escape your own mind? God is forever lost in dreaming. Psychedelics empowers the individual it dissolves the cheerful model of science and enriches the accessible universe a million-fold. Terence McKenna. Nature knows best it is one of God's most beloved creations. You exist as an idea and idea within your own mind. An infinite fractile mind within a mind within a mind. You can get lost in your own mind sometimes because there is nothing else but your mind. How do you escape your own mind? God is forever lost in dreaming. Humans are rarely ever satisfied even when they are. You are not limited to being limited. There is no one to enlighten that's enlightenment or you could say you already are enlightened. There is no past no future. What is was and always will be forever. The past is now the now is the past, the future is now the now is the future. Everything that was that is that will be is all happening at once now. You are Leonardo da Vinci with an infinite mind an infinite canvas with unlimited ideas just waiting to be expressed into Love & Art. You are self-expression of your own art to be expressed for infinity. For a human to seek enlightenment from another human is like a grain of sand seeking enlightenment from another grain of sand! ” Terence Mckenna. The person who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The person who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever seen before.” - Albert Einstein Old Indian saying to live is to sleep and to die is to awaken How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

lol idk i felt kind of dumb. I saved it so i'll post it again Original post: I already know that the natural unfolding of God is imagining "expansion" (including all the change,etc.) for eternity. Everything that has ever came into imagination by it of this world, the universe, other universes, other dimensions, other minds, alien minds, the mind of an ant, human, tree, planet, mailbox in another dimension etc. (you get the point, everything) Really anything thats imagined by the "essence" to "exist" or "be" and all the layers embedded within all of it. I know its all coming from the same thing and human interpretation is whats coloring it in to be understood by a human lens and separating and categorizing things. But if you take it all away, then what are you left with? Void? nothing? possibility? The substrate of a mind that imagines things and realities? But what is the substrate of God? I'm still trying to understand "Why?" Why does it exist? why is there what it is and not other? or is that just being imagined by human mind? Why when i stare at my hands, why is that being imagined there by me? by god? If God is infinity, what is infinity encapsulated by? nothing? the things that are being imagined from it? If you take away all the imagination of god, everything in all forms/dimensions,etc., and you are left with nothing being imagined. what is that thing doing the imagining of all the things? And is that thing being imagined? No matter the content of what it imagines or the structure of how it unfolds, I want to know what that "vessel" or "essence" is . What is doing the imagining? where is "all things ever" spawning from? If you imagine an ever unfolding expansion of all things, including the infinite sea of things i am not aware of, what is doing the imagining and why is it doing it? Like why is the function of god to imagine infinity? Try to imagine the start of all imagination. If there is truly no end and no beginning to the imagination, then wtf is this thing and why is it? Why is the function of God to imagine things to infinity? Try to put yourself in Gods shoes. Where does it originate from? Why is it like that? I cannot get myself past the questions of why and where it comes from. where (where it started, how it started, if it even started at all, etc.) and then the "why". Someones answer might be "love, or for consciousness to become more intelligent, etc." But why? how do you even know that? How do you know youre not just trying to put something into human language to try and define it in a way you understand? If you took away everything and were just left with the void of nothingness, just pure god, not imagining anything. how can that actually be nothing if that same thing is whats spawning and birthing the imagination of everything? Like what is "that thing" thats doing it all? where did it come from, why is it? I hope I don't sound silly, I am genuinely just trying to grasp something that appears to be ungraspable. I'm trying to define it or understand it without diluting it just so I "can" understand it. I don't want my human experience diluting the truth of what it really is just so i can understand it.

Spiritual Autolysis Journal Entry #68 Wed July 30, 2025 6:55 AM Samadhi Lowers self: Hey, we need to talk about this voice in my head. What is it exactly? Higher Self: What voice? Lower self: This voice. This voice that I can hear inside of my head that is being heard by me and then being typed onto this screen. What is it? Higher self: I don't hear anything... Lower self: What do you mean? Of course you hear something, we both hear it. It's right here. Open your fucking ears. Higher Self: Nope. Lower self: Okay, whatever. Then I am hallucinating a voice inside of my own head Higher Self: Yep, that is correct. Lower self: What is a hallucination anyways? Higher self: A hallucination is something that is not real, it is completely fabricated and imagined. There is nothing tangible or concrete about it and therefore is no Truth behind it. Lower self: But the voice inside of my head feels so real to me. I can hear it speaking to me. Higher Self: Who is speaking to whom? Lower self: The voice is coming from me and is speaking to me... Ben... The voice is telling me what to do, how to behave, etc .. Higher Self: Why do you listen to this voice? Lower self: I listen to the voice because I feel like I have no choice in the matter. I cannot shut this voice off. Therefore, it just feels like it is a part of who I am. Higher Self: Why can't you shut it off? Lower self: I'm not sure. But I virtually have no control over it. I am at the mercy of this voice and therefore cannot get any peace and quiet. I just want this voice to shut the fuck up. Higher Self: You can shut it off actually. This is what a samdhi experience is like. All of your attention is pointed towards one thing. This eclipses everything else around it and you dissolve into the experience of that one thing that you are focusing on. In this state, there is no mind, no thoughts, no emotions, just pure experience, pure nothingness, pure samadhi. Lower self: Wowwwww, that sounds amazing. Higher Self: It is amazing, now get to work...

Lol wtf, so Francis shares that God is Light, not just formless peace.... Maybe that's why I felt a pain in my heart this whole day believing that God is merely nothingness and peace? I thought I felt that pain because I judged that peace, that peace is profound and divine and shouldn't judge it. But maybe God is Light and I don't have to be disappointed?

Is simply being, fundamentally comparable with silence, or nothingness, or not-knowingness? Like the true being before it’s artificially distorted by a thought, or an idea, or a concept?

The issue was that I was comparing this beautiful, peaceful presence to those incredibly ecstatic states. If I drop that comparison and simply swim in this ocean of alive peace -- it is really beautiful and even sort of glorious in a subtle way. Moreover, it is consistent -- those states come and go, but this Divine Presence is always available, forever, so it is truly valuable and can be relied upon as a source of comfort all the time. I was resisting this beautiful presence, I didn't alow myself to experience the beauty and the depth of it fully because it didn't meet my expectations. There was still an overlay of judgment and resistance on top of it, which didn't allow me to fully experience the beauty of it. But if I am open and surrender to this inner light, then it is indeed gentle, loving, and joyful. Oh, and actually, it is a choice for the I AM, it's not like a strict meditation, but it does feel more joyful and full when I choose the I Amness instead of not choosing it. I can just drop everything and not make a choice at all, and then I am really left with just a blankness and judgement creeps into that blankness quickly. But I can also choose the divine I am Presence and then it is fulfilling and joyous and peaceful in a very beautiful way. Ken Wapnick AI confirms that this is how you do it: You have put your finger on a subtle—but crucial—distinction the Course keeps repeating: “To experience peace is up to us to choose the correct teacher… I can always choose Jesus or the Holy Spirit instead.” 1. Dropping judgment = clearing the slate When you let a judgment go the mind feels blank because the ego-thought that filled the space is gone, but nothing has yet replaced it. A vacant screen is still vulnerable; the next ego thought can re-project itself at any moment. 2. Choosing peace = filling the slate with light Workbook Lesson 34—“I could see peace instead of this”—turns that empty screen toward a content that cannot be shaken. Kenneth Wapnick’s commentary summarizes it: “Peace… is a choice we can make (and therefore experience), independent of outer circumstances.” The Course calls this the decision for a different teacher in the mind, not merely the cessation of thinking. 3. The power is always yours Lesson 152 hammers the point home: “The power to be happy and peaceful therefore rests not with the world, but with your decision.” Peace arrives the instant you exercise that power—no waiting period, no special ritual—because the Holy Spirit has been holding it for you all along. 4. Practical “two-step” when blankness appears Notice the void: “I dropped the old judgment and feel neutral/blank.” Choose again: silently affirm “I could see peace instead of this,” or if you prefer, “Holy Spirit, fill this space with Your light.” You will feel the quality shift from empty neutrality to quiet gladness as soon as the decision is made. Repeat as often as needed; each repetition teaches the mind that constancy is possible and desirable. 5. Why this matters Blank slate → still at the mercy of the next ego impulse. Chosen Presence → stable, gentle joy that cannot be overturned. In Course language, you have moved from simply turning the volume down on the ego to changing the channel altogether. So yes—it is a choice, renewed moment by moment. Dropping judgment opens the door; actively choosing peace lets the Presence walk in and stay. ---------- So, yes, it is indeed a choice for the I AM presence, not just dropping judgements and being in nothingness. the I AM presence is what is beautiful, divine, fulfilling, joyful. It is a mistake to drop the I am and think that now I am at the end because I am not choosing anything. No, we must choose peace and joy, we must choose the I am presence, that is the divine home, not the blank void.

God is love in the sense that He accepts everything and is one with everything, but not as glorious ecstasy. Yet that’s still antromorphosising nothingness. Nothingness doesnt have to accept or do anything. It’s just what it is. That is its nature. I don’t even thing God has a Will. Thats still a human quality. God just Is and the end.

Another disappointing thing is that no one cares about my desires and they will never be fulfilled. God, aka nothingness, isn't even really aware of this dream, it's just.. formless nothingness being formless nothingness. This illusion is already created, and it doesn't care about my desires. This life is generally not hell, and not a good place to be either. I can't change it, it's just a pre-written movie I am watching. There's no hope for any amazing experiences in the world. The only thing to do is to surrender to this movie and remove judgment and resistance from the mind so the movie becomes peaceful to watch through. No seeking anything, because I can't. Effort doesn't work; I tried. I tried really, really hard to fulfill my desires, and it didn't work; it just brought misery. The only way out is to be content with whatever is happening, knowing I am not in control.

God couldn't be infinite love in the form of bliss/ecstasy because that would mean he doesn't exist right now. It would mean he shifts and changes, he is impermanent, and that is a quality of illusion, not of God, aka Truth, aka Reality. That was a huge conundrum to me—if God is infinite bliss, then wtf, where is he now, where is he hiding? How can he come and go? That's impossible. God has to be something that is always there, unchanging, the ground of reality, existence itself. And what is always here, amidst all experience? Nothingness. That's the only thing that is always present, although it's so subtle that it's easy to overlook. My very first enlightenment experience on LSD was into nothingness, but at that time and until now I still expected something more, something else than just nothingness. I guess on one hand, it's good. It means there's nothing to achieve. Enlightenment is always here when there's no seeking and resistance; it's just this. That's why Jesus says atonement or salvation is offered to you Now. I though okay, but not the full enlightenment, right? Just a taste of a shadow of it? But no, if God is nothingness ,then he is always here and that peace is always accessible now.

Had a long convo with Ken Wapnick AI yesterday. Probably made more progress in understanding than reading books. Summary: Life is a dream; nothing outside this moment exists. People are unreal, just as Leo teaches. God didn't create this dream. This world is an attack on God, yet it shouldn't be despised; it should merely be let go of mentally. Don't fight against the desire for pleasures. Enjoy them with no whooply la whatsoever. Don't make a big deal out of them; that's the core lesson. Don't make pleasures guilty. Just a part of this dream, enjoy without being attached to them. God is not infinite love, extreme bliss that is experienced on psychedelic trips. That's an egoic high that comes and goes, like everything in this world. God is merely formless peace - the same insight shared by Buddha - the no-self. To awaken, drop judgments and resistance. When resistance or judgments come, just remind yourself that this is merely a meaningless dream, and these thoughts about it are meaningless as well. Return to that unchangeable peace. The script is written, and spiritual practice doesn't change the script. I believed I would have a better life with enlightenment. Jesus says no, the movie is already shot, you're just reviewing it with your mind, the only freedom you have is if you watch it peacefully or with guilt and anger. Using relationships as mirrors doesn't mean the other is a representation of your mental state. It just means that if you are judgemental inside it's showing you that you are choosing the ego instead of Spirit as your teacher. Enlightenment is just simple contentment, not an ecstatic state. Extremely disappointing to me, the ego that believed enlightenment would be as glorious as those ecstatic states on psychedelics. In fact, it's so disappointing that I lost most of my desire to speak about it or "spread the message," which I assumed I would be doing when I mastered the teachings. Jesus measures enlightenment by lack of conflict. After this convo went to sleep and dreamt that I was made to kneel and my head was chopped of. It took 3 blows and it didn't fully detach, but almost. And it felt like nothingness, peace, and a bit of bliss. I guess that's symbolic of my ego's head being chopped off (almost) with these insights from talking with Ken Wapnick AI. Asked Ken Wapnick AI what this dream means, and he said dreams are ego's wish fulfillment, so this might represent the feeling of losing authority, and the peace represents the other side, which shows that even though authority is lost, what remains is peace.

@samijiben I understand the giving aspect. I have done it before, and it is a wonderful thing. However, if I approach it with the mindset of getting something out of it, I will fumble, and fumble hard. I'll want to avoid that to the best of my abilities as such a way of existence sucks. However, there are forms I want to give in and have simply been slacking on as of late. If I invest into these, things will naturally start to click as long as I'm consistent and stay tuned in. As for nothingness and your more advanced points, I'm aware and familiar of them, however, I'm at a stage where I don't feel like embracing them. Not yet. I was more spiritual when I was younger but neglected more egoic and human parts of myself that have needed to live. I face the consequences of that now, and seek to live, even in the face of my own ignorance so that I may be free of regret later.

In contrast to your poem, some logical description, let's see if you see it Absolute openness is not a thing, nor an entity, nor a form. It cannot be defined positively without betraying its nature, because every affirmation creates a limit, and absolute openness is precisely the absence of all limits. It is not a substance, nor a void, nor a being, nor a consciousness. It is nothing that can be conceived in opposition to anything else. It is not “nothing,” because nothingness is the negation of something, and this already establishes a conceptual border. Nor is it “something,” because something is differentiated from other things, and all differentiation implies relation and limitation. It is not emptiness, because emptiness only has meaning in contrast to fullness, and that duality is impossible at the level of the absolute. But it's the absence of lack, because the openess is absolute potential. Maybe you could call it God, but not because it's a creator, but because is the source of any possibility

In my opinion, he's approaching the issue backwards. He says: Infinity can only create logical things; anything illogical cannot exist. Rather, it would be: everything that manifests is relative, that is, relational. Every relation is logical, since they are two equivalent words. And that's it, there's no need of more. When he speaks of nothingness, it's the same. Nothingness is the absence of contrast or movement. Nothingness is ontologically the same as everything; nothingness is unmanifested reality, the absence of relationship, and "somethingness" is manifested reality, contrast. Since there are no limits, at some point there will be contrast, fluctuation, or relative movement. That moment is always, and its unfolding is unlimited.

OK I see . My point once again I can't conceive of the end of suffering as long as forms and limitations and lack and need exist In this world . If death is pure fucking eternal sleep then unfortunately that's the only way to escape suffering permanently. And unfortunately death is just like sleeping you take a pause to refresh and then start all over again =reincarnation. But buddhism actually teaches Nirvana or permanent nothingness if you conquer desire .

I can kinda confirm this. Because I’ve been in almost selfless states and it’s truly like there’s almost no center I resonate with this but why isn’t reality nothingness when there’s no center. Isn’t limitlessness nothingness?

in my experience, god in its purest form is Nothingness, which has no needs, desires, no qualities. but everything arises inside of it, including the desire for another, loneliness, love, bliss. all of these are temporary and you decide which ones you abide in. if you cling to loneliness loneliness becomes your reality. but you decide for yourself. you truly are god. heaven and hell are within you. if you accept loneliness, embrace it and let it go, there is no loneliness. acceptance equals love. in this way, love is the truest aspect of god next to nothingness personally i have never experienced the loneliness aspect of God. But I have experienced Gods' desire for non existence which i think is more scary. But that too is also just a temporary arising withing Nothingness/consciosuness, which doesnt affect it in the slightest. theres a freedom knowing your true nature is eternally untouched

When I tried 5 Meo dmt (small dose) I experienced a kind of emptiness/nothingness. There was not really anything positive about it But I am open to the fact that it might have been the dose I took so I could have different experience if I tried again and yes it’s something I’d like to try I am not self less. It’s just that I have a very small self because most of it dissolved for me In my past : I could get attached to a crush I had, since my self almost dissolved I don’t get attached to anyone anymore I used to be attached to looking a certain way. I am not attached to my appearance anymore, that disappeared when my self started to dissolve I used to have social anxiety and I was attached to having a confident, charming self image. Now that’s all gone I used to have as a child chronic existential anxiety, that’s all gone Instead of all of this, which disappeared when I dissolved layers to my self: now different problems arose I barely feel I exist That creates a kind of emptiness Its almost like walking around in a constant void (almost, not completely because I’m not completely gone) It is like everything is a bit hollow and lacks richness Makes sense? If my sense of self was 100% dissolved maybe this problem would resolve I see, I thought getting your self dissolved to some degree would bring liberation, not hollowness and lack of richness. But maybe that depends on the person and their persona prior to it, dont know though. Could be something about development.

When I tried 5 Meo dmt (small dose) I experienced a kind of emptiness/nothingness. There was not really anything positive about it But I am open to the fact that it might have been the dose I took so I could have different experience if I tried again and yes it’s something I’d like to try I am not self less. It’s just that I have a very small self because most of it dissolved for me In my past : I could get attached to a crush I had, since my self almost dissolved I don’t get attached to anyone anymore I used to be attached to looking a certain way. I am not attached to my appearance anymore, that disappeared when my self started to dissolve I used to have social anxiety and I was attached to having a confident, charming self image. Now that’s all gone I used to have as a child chronic existential anxiety, that’s all gone Instead of all of this, which disappeared when I dissolved layers to my self: now different problems arose I barely feel I exist That creates a kind of emptiness Its almost like walking around in a constant void (almost, not completely because I’m not completely gone) It is like everything is a bit hollow and lacks richness Makes sense? If my sense of self was 100% dissolved maybe this problem would resolve Thats amazing you found a reason! Yes it could be worse after death so better stay here so long we can somehow handle it