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Hello. I am posting here because I am looking for a specific video on the YouTube channel that I cannot find. I remember that in this particular video Leo goes on to make a quite extensive list of different words from various cultures that all mean "nothingness" or "unity" or something like that. Can anyone help me find this video. Thanks.

Yes. Let me allow to hijack the post Beyond the "no-self" of no biographical self/ego self there are some more "encompassing" "higher" no-selfs. Or better said: Some stages of much more empty no-selves. First personality/biographical self/"ego" goes (1) then time goes: Always here Mind, time is just a concept (2) Then the locatedness of being in the body for example goes: one is the whole visual field, or beginning nonduality (3) then that becomes infinite. Anything that could appear appears in boundless Reality/Infinite Consciousness. (4) Then we have personality/egoless (1), timeless (2), boundless/nondual (3) and infinite (4). All of these are Awakenings/Enlightenments. But not the Full Enlightenment/Waking Up. But then there is even a murky no-self still there: It is nothing, totally empty, but still some individuality/separation still there, moving as I-thought/I-feeling on Reality/Oneself. This here: IN that state (1)+(2)+(3)+(4), when all last traces of individuality are seen moving within onself (that takes time), then the Big Bang or Waking Up or Full Enlightenment can happen, where one actually becomes Reality, no more questions left. And Infinite Absolute Reality/Infinite Consciousness/Nothingness can be described as (True) No-Self (since no individuality is left splitting Reality in two), or as Self (because all possible worlds appear in it). Then You ARE Absolute Reality (everything that shows or could ever appear, and all beings/perspectives), but no longer confuse a separate individual part for your true self. I have written about that before in previous posts, one can search for examle if one is so inclined for Basis Enlightenment in my posts. The problem quite often here on this forum, and with the effect of some of Leos teachings: Thinking one has realized No-Self, while one has NOT achieved True No Self, but some of the preliminary versions of No-Self (see above), boosted by psychedelics, and including a lot of higher realm stuff accessed with that. Nothing too bad with that, if it is just a step/stage, is just not the end of the story, and doesn't end suffering. Or worse: Not even having had the Awakenings (1)-(4), and just conceptually boosting the separate self and equating it with God/Reality. Problem of these stages: Instead of finally transcending/killing the separate self, these moves boost it. And most important: Only @Bazooka Jesus is awake. I mean, come on, that mother of declaration of AWAKE can not be topped, so I think that is something we can all agree on Selling Water by the River PS: To make it a bit more practical: Ever dreamt you were somebody/something completely different? Or dreamt of being just an empty camera not self-reflective at all, just watching, thinking and reflecting nothing? That is pretty near. Infinite Consciousness is totally empty, just aware. Can take any feeling/thinking of being anything, anyone, anybody. It is empty, impersonal, so that it is compatible to any mindstream. "IT" is already the Awareness of all Beings. YOU! Already. But not what you think you are. Only an empty Awareness can be in the perspectives/mindstreams of other beings/perspectives, not the "loaded" mindstream of a being that still feels separate (has ego-arisings the cause the illusion of being something specific/separate). Imagine being somebody/something completely different. An Alien. A cat. And YOU, your Awareness is still there. And nothing really is lost if such a shift were to happen. So nothing is lost, just the illusion that all the thinking/feeling brings, moves, in you. And besides this Awareness/Nothingness, nothing is, was, ever will be. THIS is also all appearances, Consciousness appearing as appearances, nondual. IT is Reality itself. And to fully get/understand that, ALL identity has to go. Impersonal, Fully Empty Awareness. Nondual and infinite, timeless, always here, never not possible being not here. Anything possible necessarily appearing in IT/YOU. And the True One/You are still there... Impersonal. Silent. Infinite. Aware. Timeless. Containing all appearances. Nothing besides it. One without a second. Reality itself.

@Leo Gura who is it most suitable for? Someone who is ready to shred reality to pieces or someone serious about enlightenment? Or do you see it suitable for normal people too (with some understanding and use of psychedelics ) ? Trips on 5meo seems so mixed up I can’t really tell how some people awaken to “the universe is made out of love!” and others saying “it’s just blank nothingness and you end up not enjoying it”

1-there is no empirical evidence that you gonna die someday in the future. There is no empirical evidence that there will be a future. In fact ..the universe might just disappear completely and turn into a black blank void of nothingness just the next moment . There is no glue that is holding everything together. Yet..miraculously..everything is alright and functions very well. 2- synchronicities which we all take for granted.. like the fact that we miraculously find a job..the planets are miraculously holding themselves together etc this graceful flow of consciousness might break down and devolves into a disruptive stream. Chaos rather than graceful transition of form. Existence is like a house of cards..yet all of us treat it like its not made of cards but made of concrete. And we somehow think realizing the dreamy nature of form will somehow make us immune to suffering if that dream collapses. Existence is flowing extremely gracefully right now. The fact that you can sanely sit here and read this post takes beyond infinite amount of grace. All of your billions of cells working perfectly together..form that the finite mind is looking through is holding its solidity and only changes slightly..your work colleagues call you at paced times. even if you complain.. your ego destructs at an extremely peaceful and good pace along the path. Your memories are perfectly in sync with each other and with form. All of this is extremely malleable. You're a nano meter away from all of that grace just crashing and chaotically imploding on itself. Its a house of cards..not concrete.

At what level would you interpret the saying? I understand the importance of taking the saying as it feels natural to me, however, I still seek your point of view on it. Taking time away to sit in nothingness is powerful but take too little or too much time to do and there would be consequences. So, maybe what I'm asking is, what do you recommend in terms of getting the clarity on what you really want? I think it's still useful to go above experimenting and seeing what I like and don't like, even if I do figure out my core desire/s to avoid becoming stagnant. Even so, it seems that overall you're alluding to a mix of both time in nothingness and time in conscious experimentation no?

Hello Actualized community, Some of you might remember me from a long time ago when I was just beginning to awaken, and I contributed some of my knowledge and tried my best to help the community with these subjects. I purposely stayed away from this forum and Leo's videos to dig deeper into awakening, god, reality, whatever you want to call it. I'll be speaking with a relative "I" — before anyone frets. I've had 80+ awakenings in the span of a year. I have been spiritually gifted since I was a kid, without even knowing it, but I seem to have a pretty easy time creating the experiences that lead to awakenings. There were periods where I had multiple awakenings in a single week, and the majority were NOT drug induced. I made sure to always write down the revelations that I learned and I am ready to share them with you all. I had experiences where I was literally sucked out of the scene I was in and thrown into an empty void of pure light, love light. I am going to make this short and sweet. This is meant to help you awaken quickly. Before I start though, you're going to have to accept some shocking truths, so before you read this, please open your mind. Trust in what I am telling you here. I have personally verified every single thing I am about to share. I will refer to God as "That which cannot be spoken" — as the word God is a bit silly. 1. You don't have a face. Notice for yourself, that you feel like you are located above your neck, but notice that instead of your face, you have a huge open window. This open window is your view of the world. Instead of your head, you have the world. The world is your mind. But it's not your physical mind, somehow inside a brain. No, no, no..... your mind is absolute and is shared with everything else. Prove it to yourself. Try to locate your head, and point to your face. At no point does it reach you. There's nothing there. Instead, you have colors, sounds, thoughts, feelings, touch, etc. The entire room in which you are right now is a "part" of your head. Your head is the godhead. It is completely empty, is nothingness, yet it exists. 2. Reality is a moving painting. The colors, sounds, smells you are experiencing are NOT the byproduct of your brain. I repeat. They are NOT a product of your brain. There is no light going into your "eyes" (you have no eyes, or face) — there is no brain to turn audiowaves into music. When you hold an apple, you think that you are seeing the redness of the apple in your brain, but notice that you aren't looking at anything. The apple is existing, IN your consciousness. It is BEING inside of your head. You are not seeing it through no mechanism. Reality is RAW and you are compressed into it and through it. When you see the red of the apple (unlike science which says that colors only exist in brains) what you are experiencing is what Gnostics call The Truth. Sounds, colors, smells, feelings, thoughts. – THAT IS OBJECTIVE REALITY. You get it? You aren't hearing or seeing at all, because reality appears 1:1 instantly in the screen of your consciousness, which is that void that we talked about. 3. Close your eyes. Realize that when you close your eyes, that dark field is really you. You are the entire dark field in which reality appears. When you close your eyes you cannot locate yourself. You just see an endless void of darkness with no edges or divisions. This is what you would call your soul. Your head is a projector. The colors you see are not happening in a brain, because the brain would need to have a physical screen upon which the colors are looked at. They have to exist in some way for your visual field to appear. Therefore this is false. No brain. 4. Is Solipsism true? No. Other people ARE in fact conscious as they are other *instances* of yourself in a parallel timeline being imagined by consciousness simultaneously. REMOVE the idea that only your individual ego is having a conscious experience. Drop it. IT'S NOT TRUE. Other people are as conscious as you, but because THEY ARE YOU. Other people are other POVs that "That which cannot be spoken of" is creating and animating through its presence. The entire universe is like a program running in the mind of this unknowable conscious being. Your life is a program, my life is a program. We are divine expressions of that being who is on an eternal quest to understand what it is, and it cannot do it without your point of view, because reality would be finite without your existence. 4. Is this being knowable? No. And please don't refute this with "But awakenings!" — "That which cannot be spoken of" is completely out of reach and is the literal bedrock of existence. It does not have a subjective experience like you and I do. It's asleep forever. Any awakenings you may have, are a connection to its SPIRIT, not its mind, as its mind is busy imagining everything. 5. Is there an objective reality? Yes. Even thought the entire universe is the dream of this being that is asleep, it exists, but not physically. The universe is all mind. But yes, there ARE people doing other things outside of your POV. It is all happening simultaneously, and through relativity. But those people ARE you. Just in other avatars for that lifetime. Other people exist, and your ego is not alone in the universe. You are at all times surrounded by infinite copies of yourself. 6. Ghosts, demons, gnomes, fairies, and all other mythical creatures are real. I have verified this myself through multiple instances where I communicated with extra-real entities. 7. Magic is real. That's right. Magic IS MIND. Magic is reality. Magic is the power that was required to bring this dream into being. ——————— Reality is NOT a simulation, NOT solipsism, NOT eternal suffering, NOT physical, NOT awful, NOT evil. Reality IS a gift, IS a moving painting of pure light, IS magic, IS mystical in origin, and IS eternal. ——————— I cannot express to you the absolute truth because I cannot communicate the experiences I've had, as they are ineffable. But trust me on the following: Solipsism is false There is no infinity of Gods, this is another trap. There is only ONE being who makes infinite copies of itself to embody avatars in its dream. They aren't separate gods. Reality is, again, a moving painting, and the painter is a being that is "asleep" and dreaming the entire universe up. Reality was NOT created. It ALWAYS was. Colors, sounds, feelings, thoughts are objective reality. The apple is really red. Water is really wet. You aren't seeing anything. Objects are existing in you. Your visual field is a window or a negative sculpture. There is no actual "you" anywhere specifically. Rather, you are the entire visual field, and all the content inside of it. Hope that helps.

Yes. Lasting Happiness = Resting in Ones True Nature = Full Impersonal Enlightenment into Infinite Consciosness/Nothingness/Reality (pointers I like), or what Inliytened1 is pointing to below. The alternative is the merry go round of chasing experiences/states for the relief of the suffering the separate self-identity/contraction causes. Francis Lucille videos linked above are along these topics. Water by the River

I don't hate Moksha, I don't even know him. But I´m not going to let being fucked in the ass. Simple as that. Yeap. The issue here is as always, that I don't buy people's words on a forum. First, whatever 'it' you want refer to, you already have to have come a conclusion that that "it" it's Enlightment and it's the best thing. Secondly , by his words, I don't at all get the sense he is talking about Pure Nothingness or pure No Self (if you want to call Enlightment this), but rather a surrender-allow everything/be in the observer, kind of Awakening. If he thinks this is Awakening and The 'Totality' of what he is, he is for a rude awakening (Ironically LOL) And thirdly, I don't believe for a mere second that he abides in "it" for 24/7 of time. If not, there's work to do. GOD WON´T DO THE WORK FOR YOU! Because you are literally God. This is the classic advaita trap people fall for and I got the sense he is selling/advocating for that. As sadhguru put it, a Belief its great for solace. But you want solace or do you want an actual solution?

@Moksha As pure Light that we are, we are seeking always the maximum states of being and pleasure in reality. It serves no purpose to gaslight people that are actually doing action towards to discredit them as "addicts, or addiction seeking style". But I know you don't mean in a bad way. It's just a shame you haven't touched what I'm talking about. And also, What I'm talking about It's the most simpler thing ever, pure concentration, intensity, no self, life energies everywhere, no being here, pure intensity, Aliveness, ecstatic empty light, pure explosive nothingness...and all of that while refilling the gas tank. Don't think that being in that State of Being means you are not functional or you body getting damaged. That's why it's so good ??? Yeap. Unfortunately I know I'm kinda of alone around here. I suspect not a single drug in the whole world can replicate what really infinite intensity or an absolute activation of Life Energies are

About a month ago on the 3rd day of a meditation retreat I became aware of that my present sensations are more fundamental to reality than the language that is layered on top of it. So all meaning, values and morals are completely groundless. I red the book 'Neti Neti Meditation' by Andre Doshim Halaw later that day and it talked about non-duality or suchness which seems to be what I became aware of. He also said that there is this nothingness that is deeper then suchness. In one of Leos videos he said that non-duality is couched in nothingness. Yet sometimes when people talk about enlightenment they sometimes seem to talk about non-duality and nothingness at the same time without making a clear distinction between the two, which is very confusing to me. Isn't enlightenment the realization of nothingness? What does non-duality have to do with that? I got the insight while doing the do nothing/letting go technique. If i want to pursue enlightenment should i try to get back to that state, doing the do nothing technique or is that only going to take me to non-duality and not nothingness? Or is starting a self inquiry practice a better alternative? Even tho I've gotten really good at doing nothing and I've only done self inquiry a handful of times. Any information, book tips or resources related to the topic would be greatly appreciated.

selfless = nothingness= infinite self

First off, yes. Nothing is just anything And also, if you like, no, nothing is not "just" anything. The word "just" is a manipulative tactic used by the ego/relative mind (similar to the word "but") in order to suggest that ourselves and others should place less value on one concept, in this case consciousness/nothingness relative to another, such as the quantum field. It's understandable that we might use this tactic here. After all, if we were to suppose, or realise, that the words nothingness, consciousness and quantum field were all being used interchangeably for the same relative purpose, we might indeed agree that they are synonymous, at least in practical usage. However I don't often hear people say "While meditating, I experienced a state of the quantum field". I imagine that's because quantum field, which is a theory, is used more intellectually as a concept. A framework. Whereas, the word "consciousness" is more often used to describe our experience, or even, we might say, the essence/basis of experience. Hmm... my words won't do consciousness/nothingness justice here

There is nothing quantum about reality. It's just a story. Reality is pure nothingness

Spiritual Autolysis - Journal Entry #30 - Sun Jun 10 '23 - 12:41 PM I Love Neale Donald walsch' Conversations with God. This is my version of it. Okay back to truth work: Lower self: is God real? Higher self: I don't know. What is God? Lower self: God is real. I can feel him. Higher self: How? Lower self: He is in my bones. I can hear his voice. I can smell him in the flowers. I swim with her when it's late and gloomy. She is with me in the shower, washing my hair. I can see her off in the distance, miles away. I can feel her warmth upon my skin. I can hear his raspy voice inside of my head. I can hear his thunderous booms bursting through the windows throughout the night. I can see her bright yellow flashes of magnificence on a cloudy night. I can see him in my mother's face. Oh the beauty. I love you mama. I can see him in my head, bartering at a tag sale. I can feel the love of him throughout my bones. But... where is he? Where has he gone? God: I am right here. With you. Now. Just feel and look. That is it. Feel and look. What do you see? What do you feel? That is how you can find me. Whenever you have lost me. Know that I cannot be lost. For this would be impossible. Where would I go? What would I do? As far as I know there is only one real place to be and let me tell you it's a pretty cool place to be. You can be whatever you want, you can do and have anything that you desire. Now who wouldn't want to live in a place like this? Ben: But there is all of this suffering. Millions of living things dying every day! Now what is so cool about that? God: Ohhhhh come on! I'm the coolest gal around! Ben: No you're not. You cause suffering. I suffer all of the time. All day long. This life is hard! God: What is it that you suffer about? Ben: I suffer because I CANT reach my goals. I can't fall in love with myself let alone another individual. I mean what is wrong with me? God: Nothing is wrong with you my child. You are not unusual. The reason that you suffer is because you want to love. You want to love sooo soooo bad. You want to love every nook and cranny of this universe, of this existence. But it is difficult. I have made it difficult. Ben: But why? Why have you made life difficult? Ben: But why didn't you turn us into God's ourselves? God: You are God. Ben: Yeah but not really. I can't fly on over to Venus or drive my magic school bus to the next galaxy. I didn't create the universe. God: Oh yes you did.. You just forgot! Ben: What???! And why would I forget a thing such as that? God: How else could I experience myself? If you knew exactly who you were, then you would behave like me. I don't want you to behave like me. Behave like yourself. However it is that you would like to behave. That's what you should do. Whatever it is you want to do for a career. Do that. Find a relationship. Start a family. Or don't! I don't care. Do as you wish, and know that there is no judgement going on in the universe unless you want there to be. You are loved and will always be loved. By us all. Ben: But why? Why do you want to experience yourself? God: I already told you. I got bored. So I started creating things. You can only stare at a void of nothingness for so long. I had to make something. Ben: Is the universe really infinite? God: Of course the universe is infinite. What kind of God would I be if I could not create an infinite universe? With infinite possibilities. Infinite meanings. Infinite deceptions. Infinite desires. Infinite creations. Now that... Is a damn cool place to be. Ben: An infinite universe... Wow... Now this is a lot to take on... God: Why is it so hard to believe? Ben: But I don't want to live in a universe that is infinite. That's too big! And that would make me too insignificant. Too small. To worthless. Too unworthy. I am saddened by this. God: Ohhhhh... You humans and your sentimentality. Is it really so bad that you're existence does not have cosmic importance? I mean if it did have cosmic importance, that would be a hell of a lot of pressure, wouldn't it? Have fun with life. Have fun with it. Don't take it so seriously. And most importantly, don't take me so seriously. Enjoy it while you are here. That is all you need to know.

What @Inliytened1 refers to as potentiality in nothingness, @justfortoday refers to as database. I prefer @Inliytened1 use of words because database can suggest that it is actual in some way but only Now is actual. Just like when you have dreams at night, you only have one dream and your Mind has the capacity to dream every other dream but I wouldn't say that other dreams are "stored" in some part of the brain. It just pure potential of the Mind to dream up something different, so I would not say that others exists. But you will experience their POV. If you will want to as Godhead.

@Leo GuraFirst of all, i have not posted something in a long while because I needed to clear my head. Nothing worked anymore. I was just thinking and spinning instead of focusing on being. So when sat down this afternoon I didn't have any intent of finding or really doing anything. There was just plain curiosity inside of me. And...I cant really describe it here. Of course not. There was nothing! But as soon as I "touched" on it if you will, emptiness was "gone". It is strange I can't explain it. It must sound like I'm talking around some BS. When it was gone there was really nothing gone...

Sup peoples. Not too much content other than an announcement and discussion about Salvia since (Appreciate ya Leo ) As I initially discovered its existence from the meme on Leo's Blog. A strong quality of my personality is that I "pursue the highest/best" and never back down from challenges however (given the nature of my research thus far) am giving some time, 4 to 6 months or so, to deeply prepare as I am also in the midst of bootstrapping a business. "What I've done" (Psychedelics): LSD (3 times): ranging from 300ug to 600ug Shrooms (3 times): 2g to 4.5g These things aren't necessarily "easy to come by" so I have stuck to traditional consciousness work practices because of so. My top values (referencing Leo's Life Purpose Course, EXCELLENT content and value, highly recommend) are: Consciousness/Awareness at #1 with Truth/Reality at #2. I am lead to believe there is an array of suggestions/conventional advice that one may suggest for this such as: "don't do it alone", "start baby small and work your way up", etc. but wondering if anyone has anything "unique" to add to my research bubble as well as direct experiences or stories. The more radical (relative to typical human life) the stories are, the more eager/exciting I am to "verify"; verify defined as experiencing a similar degree of experience rather than exact experience. There appears to be common themes or experiences of: Becoming/BEING an inanimate object, interacting with Jester-like entities, and "reality being TORN apart". The stories that I find among the most interesting are ones relating to time dilation in the context that Salvia allegedly only lasts 2 to 5 minutes but there are some accounts of people experiencing other states of consciousness for years (example: one person was an eternal void of nothingness for ~2/3 years); of course, we may acknowledge consciousness being INFINITE and to not foolishly project materialistic-paradigm "rules" elsewhere but still. TL;DR - I have heard about Salvia and accept the challenge because I enjoy mindfucks and experiencing various states of Consciousness. Do you have any input, stories, or thoughts you'd like to share?

So similar to the process of neti neti where every aspect of your ego gets short circuited until you become "nothingness". Hmm interesting. I hoped someone here maybe has some direct experience with this kind of technique.

Reality is your vibrational indicator that is reflecting your vibrational frequency to you. It is kinda like a very finetuned and detailed cymatic system that changes its form depending your state of perception, or like a holographic and fractal system into which you are eternally falling. Reality, at the ultimate level, is pure vibration that is vibrating at infinite speed, and that's the level of pure nothingness that comes even before laws of logic, let alone laws of mathematics and physics. From that level, this infinitely fast vibration slows down in its frequency gradually, and evolves into individual realities, of which ours is one. And on that level, the absolute infinite that is nothingness and intelligence guides its manifested versions, that is us, through vibrational awareness. Then we, in the form in which we are, in the spacetime and duality modus in which we are, translate that guidance in the form of emotion and feeling. And then infinite intelligence becomes the path of least resistance through which it calls us. The thing about the path of least resistance is that it is tailormade for each individual being depending on where they are in their momentum of energy and understanding. And that's why infinite intelligence calls each being to their natural vibration, to the degree that it is relevant for them, in a way that they can hear and make sense of. So, if one, for example, is dealing with some disease or some financial problem, or whatever it is, and it is heavy on them, then telling them to just think positive thoughts about their problems would probably not help them. But they can be guided to thoughts that give them some slight relief from where they are. Consciousness, or levels of consciousness, in that sense, might be thought of as a ladder on which you are raising gradually. Or like a river to which you can surrender yourself more and more gradually. And quieting the mind, or inner and honest introspection are some of the ways through which one can, again gradually, achieve those states, and that probably is why you see some forms of these "techniques" in every spiritual teaching and philosophy. When we try to think positive thoughts, we might fail at that, and it might be a fake positivity, if we are not grounded mentally, vibrationally and spiritually first. And when we try to solutions to our problems and answers to our questions, we mostly are not good at it at all. However, if we allow ourselves to relax gradually by simply being, then we begin to have more access to the vibrational frequency of our inner mind, and from there we can receive clearer information. That, in my opinion, what the idea of wu wei actually is in taoism. You might then begin to be able to think more positive thoughts and imagine positive outcomes etc in an honest and vibrationally accurate way. But when you try to do it by forcing yourself into being positive, then it mostly backfires, because there is still some resistance in your vibration.

Hi Ima Freeman, maybe you find that helpful: Awareness OF something stops. But not the potential for Awareness/sentience, or "Pure" Awareness, or however you want to call it. That can't go "anywhere" or stop. "It" is always right here. "IT" doesn't have a name here, it is beyond duality, nothing can describe it. It is the Absolute, or True You. You can call it of Awareness, but not Awareness OF, since there is no of then. It is void, empty, silent, infinite, and can only be described in negative terms. Yet, It manifests the potential of all possible worlds. quote from the link: You (capital Y) are the whole Infinite Reality (imagined body, imagined appearances, imagined everything n+1). With nothing outside of it, because that would be an imagined arising too. Any boundary separiting IT from an imagined other IT would be an imagined arising, an appearing phenomenon. Infinite. Try to imagine everything gone, including thinking: NOTHINGNESS. Not big, not small, just NOTHINGNESS. A vast infinite Nothingness, that is not even vast, because there is no 3D-space or anything (no objects/arisings). Similiar to Deep Sleep. YOU are still there. YOU awake every morning after having been there. You already know that you can be totally something/somebody else in dreams, and have totally forgotten all the past you imagine right now to be your "real" human self. But IT is not Nothingness like nothing there at all, but Nothingness with the POTENTIAL for sentience as soon as anything is imagined, and with Infinite Potential to imagine ANYTHING within it, n+1. Imagine a water pistol pops up in this Nothingness (see example Massaro, Conversations with a Skepctic): Then you have a) an imagined appearance (water pistol) and b) "something" perceiving it, the subject. Or just the perceptions of the water pistal in case no separates self is imagined/arises. Just the waterpistol perceiving itself, perceptions perceiving themselves. Impersonal. Then you have a "world", and subject/object. So what are you then? a) The Infinite Field with anything that can possibly be imagined? Yes. Nondual/Totality/Oneness. The manifest/imagined side of Infinite Consciousness. Always changing, never stable, since no appearance/form lasts. NONE. But there is a constant: b) But even more so, you are that Nothingness that can be unaware of itself, Infinite Consciousness initially unaware of itself, but with the potential for sentience if something arises. The unmanifest side of Infinite Consciousness. The unchanging, Unborn and constant core of the True You/Reality itself. So empty that IT is the Abyss, Impersonal. NOTHINGNESS. But also Infinite Potential, since IT can imagine anything. and "Both"a) and b) is indivisible, nondual. Totally the same essence, ONE Reality. The Nothingness or the True You is already the essence/"substance" of every imagined arisings/phenomenon, including the water pistol, or all separate self arisings (they are all appearances within you). a nice book about that is Szyper, "Infinite Consciousness" Any name for it brings some problems with it, because Reality contains all pointers/words, and a word/concept only has meaning in terms of its opposite. But nice pointers are Absolute/Pure Awareness, or even better (in my opinion) Nothingness. Because IT is not the everyday Awareness with subject/object (Awareness "OF) duality. Of course, it is the same Pure Awareness throughout, but when containing the illusion arisings of a separate-self, Its true Nature is covered by clouds and can not be realized. And it can not be realized by thinking about it, only by waking up. But nice pointers give the space to practice, and practice makes ripe for the grace of crossing over or realizing IT, passing the Gateless Gate. Selling Water by the River

I lately wrote the topic " I woke to the GOD. Death is the only whey to forget?' (sorry for my English, i'm not a native speaker) Thank you so much for all your help there, and also i want to send all the love to : @Kksd74628 @Godishere @Tim R They helped me on priv, so much!! i don't know what would i do, without them. Background: i've had spiritual experience for over 2-3 years, 16-17 trips, (lsd,shrooms,dmt). I mediate every day, lately for 2h a day. Also, I've had some retreats, on which it was 7-8h meditation daily. Almost every tip, till last, was pretty easy, some were challenging, but overall it was rather calm. I've experienced pure nothingness, no-dual states, i've seen my reflection in face on my girlfriend, i had God experience on DMT, when everything and everyone dispreaded, there was no time, only infinity etc. It was all ok. Dosage: 3 days ago, i took 250 uq LSD. I had one trip on 400uq, and it was nothing like that. Trip: After 1h i went to the God state. To the point, I exactly saw God everywhere. The floor was made of God, air was pure God, walls were God, which obviously is all me. I knew that, there was no going back, cause even if i go to the hospital, i can't meet anyone other than God, which is me. If I take some pills, it's going to be only self-deception to forget. I was deceiving my-self all the time, that i'm not God, it was obvious to me. it was all fine, i knew it was the case. But then i went to the bedroom, to talk with my girlfriend, she took LSD too. She was in GOD-state as well. She told me, that "I'm God" i don't why, but i felt like God, which is me, perfectly designed every aspect of my life, from birth, to this moment, and now, it's speaking to me, by the mouth of my girlfriend. I sat down on the bed, to look outside the window.... and all the people in the next building were gone. All the lights in their flats went down. I said "what? Am i really GOD?" there's no-one else? , she said, "yes". Then all the buildings collapsed into me. Weather started to change pretty rapid. Time stopped. Out of my pure imagination. I was 100% sure, that my-small-self died, and i'm out of the dream and i can't go back. There was only face of my girlfriend left. So i said, " really? i was God all my life? i'm dead now?" And then something happened, which shocked me to the core. That was the moment i felt like i want to go back, and forget. That was the moment i regret that i was even alive. The horror: i looked at my girlfriend eyes. It was all sparky with life as always, but suddenly it was gone. I was looking to the dead eyes, completely without a life. The woman i love, was not only dead, but she was empty and shallow. Dark. Void. She was like a withered flower. Like empty costume. It was the most horrifying things i saw in all my life. I was all alone, staring into the empty void of my girlfriend's eyes. Every fucking horror is a joke compare to that. With tears i asked " are you there?" and then i saw like life is going back to her. Her eyes went sparky again. But at that point, all the solipsism horror was unbearable. I wanted to kill myself. I wanted only cease to exist. I don't want to live with knowledge like that. I don't want to be alive with costume-people. It was pure-fuckig-madness-hell. My post on forum: At this moment I tried to write a post here, on the forum. But i knew, i couldn't get any advice from no one, because even actualize.com and Leo Gura is pure fucking imagination, only to cheat me into thinking, that there are others. I'm here, alone, trapped in this empty-shallow-world, to the infinity. It's Only me. I can't die, i can't escape. I wrote every music there is, i wrote every book, it was always only me!! fuck! i wanted to know infinity, and it turned out to be fucking back-mirror-hell. I wrote this post anyway, but i knew, i was talking only to my-self, and my infinite imagination. After the trip: Next 48h i couldn't sleep. I was crying, and shacking on the floor. I couldn't eat. I wanted only to die, and forget. Right now: People on this forum helped me with going through this. Today, after 6-7h of sleep, i'm back to the "old-self" and i don't see imagination and God everywhere. Thank God! Any idea what went wrong, and how do i integrate this? You guys said God-realization it's all about love, and i got fucking horror X1000 to the infinity. Thank you, for all your support. Personally, i think my "ego" still corrupts this forum solipsism, and i feel it through an illusion of separated self. But i don't know.

First, I empathize with your struggles. Life is tough. It feels impossible sometimes. It's overwhelming and can totally go the opposite direction you want it to. It can feel out of your control and to a large extent it is. I don't want to make assumptions or project, but you've clearly been feeling down and out and I want to acknowledge that before I give you my two cents. I've hit low points too and have turned to spiritual techniques and psychedelics as a desperate attempt to figure it all out. I haven't done a trip like the one you did though. I stick with LSD and I've never gone higher than 150ug. I'm fairly sensitive and I only use it for trauma work or with set intensions. I suggest if you want to get something practical out of your experiences with psychedelics, lower your dose and have a good foundation of spiritual practice before. Don't blast youself to space if you can't handle life on earth. These psychedelics show you your highest potential. This can be depressing if you are nowhere near there. Use them to show you what the next highest state looks and feels like and then try to maintain that. My base reality has moved up to a microdose of LSD because I realized that it's possible to live there sober. If I were to experience what you experienced, I'd feel so far from that, that I might get depressed and discouraged. That is not productive. I'd say take time away from psychedelics for a year or two. When you return, take low doses and don't mix substances too much. These types of intense spiritual experiences are meant to help you realize that this state is always available and always present. When I take LSD, what I realize is that the only reason I'm not tripping when sober is because I haven't given myself permission to do so. This is the classic idea that you are always enlightened, but you just haven't realized it yet. You experienced a potencial way of existing and it was pretty great compared to the lower vibrational plane of material reality. You caught a glimpse of the truth but your ego hijacked it on the come down. I'd say let this experience process and try your best to integrate it, there are deep lessons there, they may not be "practical" but they may be lessons in being. Yes, life is meaningless... that's not inherently depressing. The depression is a projection of the ego. The ego wants to feel important and special. When it realizes that it isn't, and that it might not even exist, it gets depressed and holds on to that because that is all it has left. Practice reframing this experience of nothingness. Depression is a choice, choose to view this meaninglessness as infinite potential for meaning(it's the same thing). Because life is meaningless, you can create that meaning. Ask yourself: Why is meaninglessness depressing? Best luck and keep the faith

@Demeter The void puzzled me a lot and still does. How I got to thinking about it was one night when I sat and listened to trance music focusing on the silence between each kick. I have intuited the existence of the void by realizing where all experience comes form and where it ends. Before your birth - void After death - void And so with every experience in between the two. It materializes out of the void and goes back to it. But since itself the void is not an experience I cant say that I have direct knowledge of it only conceptual and through comparing it to my "nothingness" awakening. Yet I am certain that the void which comes after death is followed by another arising (whatever form it might take) since the possibility for such arising was already established through the very fact of your life emerging from the void that came before it. And even if you spend millions of years in that void before another experience comes, for you it will feel like a fluid continuation from the moment you died. From what I came to see the void as even god dose not persist in it. That is what baffles me. Have a great day! Daniel.

How do you connect with loved ones who passed away? I want a practical answer here, at my human level of understanding. Don't give me a one sentence answer like death is an illusion or I'm imagining it. Being that those may be true, those one sentence answers are hard to articulate from my point of progress. Give me a human being answer. Here's what I want to know: Where the fuck are they? Where did they go? Can they see everything I'm doing? Do they know what I'm thinking? What are physical/spiritual symptoms that they are around/watching me right now? How do I communicate with them? After a year of being dead, are they just hanging out in nothingness being able to do anything they want?

I have experienced fainting and having a blackout on to much space cake. And i sleep every day To me it seems as if i am never unconscious, my consciousness just skips forward. If there is an infinite void at the end of life, then where would it come from and how would you be conscious of it? Does unconscious really exist? I once went wild camping in a hammock in a pitch dark forest. In absolute middle of the night i woke up, and there was no sound, no light and because i was hanging it sorta felt like floating. Its the closest iv been to absolute nothingness and it was a really strange sensation. But blank sensory input still seems to have static.