Antonius

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About Antonius

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  1. @Peo Everyone has different trips on everything. On DPT it seems like you go through some deep mind purification and what kind of shit people have experienced, repressed or whatever varies wildly, hence different weird experiences. Other psychedelics also make you deal with your "stuff", but DPT sounds like it doesn't hold back it just shows you how you imagined all the so called evil shit on all levels of consciousness. Others that are already very purified just go straight into the mind of God. People like Leo who already understands evil doesn't exist on a deep level probably won't experience weird shit at all and even if he does he won't interpret anything that's happening in the trip as outside of himself and trying to hurt him. In any case I think it's still beneficial to go through those weird trips as long as you have some theoretical foundation on non-duality. I have yet to try DPT, but other psychedelics give me a lot of intuition on this stuff.
  2. When it's dark and I'm feeling tuned to the Infinite, I literally start seeing subtle fractal geometry at the center of my visual field. I also notice much more "visual noise" and I think my perception of color is permanently enhanced which is pretty nice. I think it comes down to the insane amount of focus psychedelics give you that starts ripping through the veil of materialism. Also "If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.". So seeing shit without psychedelics sounds pretty normal to me if you meditate.
  3. Holy shit! This thread is going to make me start watching anime, never knew they could be so deep. The thing I loved about anime is how they exaggerate everything to portray emotions and details about life, you just can't do that in movies. I thought Ghost in a Shell is as deep as it gets though and never researched in depth about anime because of course it looks like more of a distraction.
  4. Sorta, but it's so much more radical than what people usually mean by LoA. I don't like that word applied to God's creative capacity. This is that radical level of LoA (stupid term). Dude basically lectured people that they are God and created everything just by imagining it being real.
  5. So I went through 200mg of 5-MeO-DMT in the last ~5 months with 6 trips in total ranging from 5mg to 60mg. I seem to respond to it quite differently than what I see Leo and you guys talk about. In terms of RoA I snorted it 5 times and plugged it once. Plugging was by far the most uncomfortable but I don't think it was more profound, just much more energetically intense on the body. I think the energetic ass-kicking is the hallmark of 5-MeO tripping. Majority of the trips I spent just feeling extremely uncomfortable in my body. It was like the subtle aches that I have in my body constantly but just don't pay attention to get magnified x1000 and I just struggle to understand why am I in pain. Because of not being able to understand the pain I then experienced deep suffering that forced me to surrender and then I felt my body dissolve into... I don't know what to call it, just existence buzzing with no concept of space and time. The first profound insight I actually had was that physical space doesn't exist and that was an extreme mind fuck that I didn't see coming. That insight didn't stick with me although I can get a vague feeling of it if I try. I mostly contribute that to the way psychedelics influenced my energy body or whatever. Also it had to do with noticing that the visual field was comprised out of just a bunch of visual static (similar to what you would see on a dead TV channel) which made objects look way less physical and more mental. I guess there was no second profound insight, but I think there was something significant about all that energetic torture I went through which opened me up in some ways I just don't understand right now. I guess it has something to do with blockages (physical? energetic?? emotional??), but speaking from my direct experience I don't know what the fuck are they, why they exist and what to do about them. Also I have to point out that I actually experience decent amount of visuals on 30mg+ doses that are pretty blurry but obviously colorful and fractal similar to LSD. Even on small doses things are blurry, slow-mo and fucky though. So my conclusion #1 is 5-MeO didn't give me the peak experiences I expected, instead I think it just shook me up on levels I don't understand which are affecting me in a more long-term way... permanently. I think it definitely enabled my other psychedelic trips be much more profound. This gets me to conclusion #2 that I seem to respond to more classical psychedelics like LSD and 2C-B much better. They had a massive impact on my levels mindfulness, anxiety, depression, psychology, emotions, relationships etc. I had much more profound trips on them with very real experiences of God and Infinity and now I without a doubt 100% know God exists although I'm far from being enlightened. I feel like LSD can give me all the understanding and growth I will ever need (in terms of using psychedelics, I'm not disregarding "regular" spiritual practice... but as the saying goes "Life is a trip"). Probably most important conclusion #3 it made me extremely more grounded in direct experience to the point I was able do disregard my whole life of materialist conditioning and now I'm more and more starting to experience life as a product of imagination, purely mental, dreamlike.
  6. @kieranperez You're a good dude. I don't post here a lot but I read your posts. I see that you care a lot about leading a meaningful life and that is all that matters. I relate to you a lot because I'm coming from shitty circumstances but I think what sets us apart is the wisdom and foresight to see that raising consciousness is the most important thing in life. I think we will look back and cherish this hardship we are going through because we would never grow without it. We are both still very young (I'm 22) and if we just persist in stuff like meditation, books, benevolence, love etc. we will find ourselves living a happy, fulfilling life. I believe in you man, I want you to succeed just like everyone here. Everything is gonna be alright <3
  7. For me ego death happens so gradually I don't even notice. I just find myself sitting, not knowing my name, how do I look, where am I, that I'm human, that I'm alive, that I have a family... nothing I just exist.
  8. Permanent ego death is unnecessary, nothing has to die for you to stop identifying with it.
  9. I think it's a great example. Nithyananda is enlightened no doubt. Just check out his book Living Enlightenment, don't even read it just look at the table of content (you can download the book for free). He obviously has valid insights into the true nature of reality and he has built an organization around that. But something fucky is clearly going on there since his followers are so defensive and worshiping him like a incarnation of God. This girl Kundalini Yogini is his follower and she also has some valid stuff to say, but there is also a lot of new age bullshit mixed in I would say. She claims she manifested heaps of money out of nothing (like it literally just appears in her bank account) and that swami ji is writing her collage exams for her, she just writes his name on the back and she gets 100%. I'm not even denying that stuff is true, but it looks like this swami dude is using his powers to attract followers and make them worship him. People benefit a lot from this dude, but they worship him too much and that will probably bite them in the ass in the future. No way that dude in the OP video is enlightened though lol, he's deluded as fuck.
  10. Very inspiring to watch someone's process of awakening, thanks for sharing!
  11. Direct path is the best. In my experience it's not hard at all to find the I AM, since I always AM. The easiest way to "find" it is to find that ONE thing that never changed in your experience. The thing that felt the same when you were 7 years old and right now. The problem is that AMness is always left in the background as we focus solely on objects in experience. The bulk of the work is getting that formless presence in front of the experience and letting it completely recontextualize it. Good stuff @SoonHei just keep being YOU, nothing else to do
  12. @herghly What do you mean by strong? You probably get different results, but you can get awakening with both. Try them both for a month and see what you like. What practice work depends more on you than the practice itself, there are a million ways to get results.
  13. Check out books by Reginald A. Ray. He's a Buddhism scholar and he teaches Tibetan yoga practices which are very body focused. Books: Touching Enlightenment : Finding Realization in the Body The Awakening Body Practice of Pure Awareness
  14. @Aaron p Regular DMT is less potent than 5-meo so you definitely need higher doses with it to breakthrough. I suggest smoking the NN though, you just won't get what it has to offer with snorting.
  15. @Aaron p I think people scream on 5-meo mostly when they smoke it because it knocks them out and they're not really aware of their surroundings. I also took 450ug when my parents were sleeping and they had no clue. I can tell you it's a lot easier to stay low-key on 5-meo than on high dose acid trip.