• Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

About Antonius

  • Rank
  • Birthday 12/10/1996

Personal Information

  • Gender
  1. Yes. I experienced this in a way that the more aware I become the LESS I know. Before I began this journey I thought I know everything there is to know about existence so I didn't have to examine anything. But when my awareness started rising it started shining through the falsehood of old beliefs. And when I realized I actually DON'T know something possibilities become endless because I can only find out what is true from direct experience, and so the real contemplation begins. Just observing your reactions and judgements, and asking yourself where are they coming from will lead you to becoming aware of the deepest beliefs you hold. When you see these old beliefs are unnecessary and let go of them, you can start listening to your intuition and gut feelings. Just be grounded in direct experience to arrive at the truth for yourself. I think there is no ultimate depth to truth and you can keep going forever, but things will nevertheless get exponentially better as you move towards it.
  2. @Joseph Maynor It's insane how accurate that list of traits is. I never thought about this stuff too much, but now I noticed that I've mostly been developing my weakest traits (Feeling and sensing). Do you think we should focus on developing our weaknesses as much as using our strengths?
  3. @Leo Gura If you start doing live workshops, will they be filmed?
  4. As a insecure newbie and a lurker, I don't like posting because I think there is always someone more advanced to answer a question. Maybe removing this stuff would encourage more people to express themselves. Also most importantly people would have to rely on their critical thinking, not just be lazy and look for most upvoted posts. I think it should be possible to upvote posts though, but don't show how much reputation users have.
  5. I love the stripped down, melancholic sound of techno. It makes me feel soo authentic for some reason.
  6. It's somewhat easy for me to observe my emotions in a detached and dispassionate manner and I think I already got a lot of growth from that. But it's much harder to just observe my thoughts in that detached way because I identify myself too much with them. I don't identify myself with my emotions so I just observe them like they are a river or an object basically, but It's so much harder with thoughts. It's like they are too close to the observer and when I start thinking they kind of blend together and I just get lost in thought. Because of this I put a lot more effort on observing emotions than thoughts. Am I missing on a lot of growth if I don't observe my thoughts and any tips to do this more effectively?
  7. Because I don't want them to suffer like I suffered
  8. @Alex K His technique is very basic, just feel the emotion and it will naturally evolve. Noting you haven't heard before but I think the simplest stuff like this can be very powerful. It's very good because it's not even a technique it's more of a lifestyle of just allowing your emotions throughout the day. And of course practicing mindfulness helps a lot to actually become aware of all the emotions.
  9. Hi fellow Reddit user It's nice to see this got a lot of attention on such a mainstream website
  10. @QeenB I'm doing this wrong lol. I have like 15 notebooks but I don't use tags. I guess this is a better way of categorizing stuff.
  11. I'm using Evernote currently but damn OneNote looks like it has much better organization options and I really like that write anywhere on the page feature. Evernote still has a lot of features and it's pretty good so I don't know if I should switch? And how would I transfer all my notes if I did?
  12. Sounds like you bought into too much bullshit society and government sold you about drugs. Maybe try doing your own research on drugs, see what you find
  13. That's exactly how I wanted to deal with this because I knew some ego backlash would happen eventualy, but when it actually hits you MAN it's more terrifying than you could ever imagine. But I will just stay with it if it keeps happening, nothing more I can do.
  14. Hi, long time lurker here, hoping to change that but that's another topic. Anyway I've been meditating consistently for more than a year and recently I made huge progress. I feel my body much more, I'm more mindfull and at peace through the day, I love myself more, less anxiety and so on. That progress came to me very abruptly after months of nothing, I guess all the meditation and other things like sedona method, shadow work, psychedelics, body work are starting to snowball and change is coming effortlessly. Most recently I started using Holosync audio technology. I was pretty skeptical about it, I didn't think anything that distracts you from sitting is silence could help. But I have time to spare what can I lose. So I start using it before bed, 30min track with ambient sounds and stuff, I use that for 2 weeks and maybe feel little more mindfull but maybe it's placeboo. Then the program instructions are to use the second 30min track immediately after the first one. First day I used it I had the best night of sleep ever, I literally woke up with my whole body vibrating with energy. Next few days were pretty nice too... then things started to get weird. I know you can experience some funny things while meditating, I saw lights, felt like I'm floating, body parts mixing up etc. but nothing could throw me off I just focused on my breath and continued. I tought is this the dark side of meditation? LOL EZ. Oh boy. Another night, I load up the first 30min track, everything's smooth, second track, I'm very present and feeling nice, then shit got dark real fast. I started hearing vague sounds outside my headphones. First I thought it's just some noise outside, but the sounds continued and I couldn't pass them off as random noise because I FELT them inside my room. They felt evil and I started to panic like they would harm me in some way. The sounds themselves were not scary, they sounded like someone is humming and whispering. It was the feeling of their presence that got to me. Like someone was standing there in the room staring at me and wanted to kill me while I was sitting with my eyes closed in the dark. But I just stayed sitting there in raw terror until it ended. This continued for the last few days and I even had the most disturbing chain of nightmares I ever experienced one night. Now I'm getting scared even before I sit to meditate at night, I got so much progress and now my ego is fighting back full-force. It's so much scarier than I thought it would be. Leo's blog post with yoda is so relevant right now. Like I said I'm a lurker and I have a fair amount of problems in my life I could complain about but I never felt like it would help if I talked to strangers about them. This shit got me all opend up and I need some reassurance to continue through this. It feel like I'm going insane while it's happening, like how the fuck can you hear voices that aren't there, it's something I never experienced and it's freaking me out. Should I push through this or am I doing damage to myself? I'm touching my most primal fears here and I don't want to escape and lose my progress. Is this an opportunity for even more growth?