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  1. You've all heard of solipsism and many in forum actively defend solipsism as truth. Why solo? We might be on the same boat that there is only 1 consciousness (even if there are many minds). But it is 1 consciousness, because it is literally Emptiness, or Nothingness, or 0, so you cant really talk about it beginning, ending, or dividing it. So the correct term then should not be Solipsism if you believe in that 1 consciousness, it makes much more sense to call it Nonipsism. Not one entity that dreams it all, which is what the word Solipsism implies. Consciousness is literally no one, we can't talk about Solipsism, if there is no Solo. Solipsism is the ego running away with truth, in my personal point of view.
  2. Didn't you get the memo? Fighting over literally nothing is Nothingness' favorite pastime.
  3. Sprint Picture this: beautiful sunny february morning. I wake up, no energy, completely lethargic. I get up, look at the clock and it's 8 am. I do some things around the house, then I remember I have to workout. I do some stretches but it's almost like my body isn't responding to my desires, something isn't right. I can't work out. I lay back in bed. I feel horrible. And it's not laziness. I ask my intuition waddup. My intuition tells me something like this: "You can have all the answers to the universes greatest questions. But you have no questions." This saddens me. What happened to me, where am I? I just lay in my bed and I swear I heard something falling. Gravity at it again. No thoughts, no emotions, pure stillness within. I close my eyes and meditate. And as I lay there it's almost like I see the room around me, except I have my eyes closed. I am in a deep trance. I feel cut off from God. Is this what dark night of the soul feels like? Why is it happening to me again? A family member comes in. Asks me if I'm sleeping. I open my eyes and glance at her, she smiles, radiates her love at me, but I'm empty. Tells me she goes shopping. I tell her I help, she shall give me time. Quick! I need structure, what to ground into now?? I thought maybe I watch my favourite astrology show. I'm lost. No, I cannot do that, astrology makes no sense at this level... I get up and we hear the doorbell ring. Distant relative comes to visit. Is it 11 o'clock already...? I carefully observe him, without judgement. Without expectation. He yells at me that "Wow, what a mens haircut you got! You look great!" I am not able to get out any intentions from his words. It's like I'm spiritually blind. I tell him that it's a womens haircut. He asks me what I do, and I tell that I practice sports. He asks me if I go to the gym or if I jog. I tell him that neither, I practice at home. And he starts making robotic movements with his hands. "Like this?" And I sort of started joking around, making a robotic dance. "Yeah like this!", I say, and I smile. He goes on to tell me that "There was a woman twice as fat as you, and she jogs 6 kilometers every day. Now she looks like you." And he makes wavy gestures with his hands, staring at my body. In my minds eye I see an hourglass. I think that's nice, seems like a compliment. I smile. I got an idea that maybe I could go outside and jog too. Then I start to make excuses "But the psychopaths, but the mud!" "They won't harm you, just do your thing." My relative says. I ask him what weather is outside. "Sunny. And pretty chilly..." That's all I need to know. I dress up in my nicest clothes: a shirt, jogging pants and some fake Vans. And a beanie to cover this messy hair of mine that I ruined with cheap hairgel about a moment ago. I want to bring a sweater but I don't have any, all of the old ones are either too small or dirty right now. Shit... I wasn't aware of my surroundings for weeks now! What do I do now!? I get so angry, I don't know what to do. Pure chaos. I figure I'll need water. I get an old mineral water bottle and I fill it up with water. My distant family member laughs and asks what if I'm bringing water to my exercise, and laughs again. "It's ok sweetie, he doesn't know anything about sports, and you know so much!" my close family member reassures. Her words fuel the chaos even more. What!? How ignorant my relative was really! - I tell myself in my mind... How should I jog without water??? But I'll also be cold, I have no sweater. Am I forgetting something else too, maybe? "You'll be cold!" "Who cares if your clothes are dirty! Nobody will notice!" I look in the mirror. I'm very pretty. Now I can tell my distant relative disrespects me. "Yep. THIS is she." he says and laughs aggressively. I don't know what to say, because I feel in a weak position. "I can be left alone now." - I say in the end. And I leave the house. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I go outside. It's about 3 Celsius I figure. Very energizing. I'm not sure where to go, I go in one direction, but quickly change my mind because I'm sad and I want to see my lover. I think he will be so angry if he sees me dressed in a simple shirt.. then if he yells at me I will have no energy to jog. He will shame the fuck out of me. Feels like a maze. So I just run. And so I do run and run, but my backpack is annoying me. So I stop and I get my backpack off and quickly repair the issue. It was too loose. What the fuck, this really feels like an impossible maze with big and small monkeys walking around my path, and I'm an invisible monkey. I cannot see myself but everyone.. no, EVERYTHING sees me. The All There is To Be of Life. I am cornered from all directions. I cannot do anything without causing an effect! I get up, put on the backpack, the animal that I am, and I sprint again. I am blind, I am deaf and I am mute. The only thing that is real is the extreme wind blowing to the opposite direction I am going. I use it to center myself. My sprinting slowly turns into a walk. Proud monkey. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I got so far. I am now connected to All There is To Be. So instinctual. Mind empty, I don't feel anything. Reconnecting to the senses. What do I see? The sky, the trees... people again. Somebody stares at me and I clench both my fists as a sign that I want to be left alone. Sort of like that hamster from that cartoon meme. I probably look like an angry gorilla now. I kinda care. But I continue my walk. I went too far, it's time to return now because I'm getting cold. So I return and I go home. On the way home I get many stares and unpleasant reactions from people. I get asked by someone if I'm not cold by any chance. My instinct tells me to look him in the eyes and talk to him, but my conditioning tells me that talking to strangers is a bad thing. My mind is empty so I figure it's better to ignore. So I do so. He shakes his head and laughs. I sense that he isn't a bad person. I contemplate how much people care about each other. It's so beautiful. God is real.
  4. I've been contemplating this... Don't know about addiction. But about procrastination, you're already assuming there's things you gotta do. And those things are often things you'd rather avoid for reasons unknown. You may love it, in some sense. But yet it's hard to bring yourself to do it. Recently I've entered a different territory. And it's been difficult to preserve the meaning in anything I do. I eventually gave up trying to build meaning. What can be easily broken is better off broken. The truth is, vision is a poor substitute for awareness. My only goal these days is to preserve my awareness and pass a certain threshold. No real reason why. It's not even worth calling a goal. Because it's not. It should be natural. But this again, like you said is extremely difficult to do, when the energy is pulled in many different directions. And I have to constantly remind myself. I'm terribly disappointed by human standards of living. It's partially because I want everyone to have a different, more evolved norm. But realising how unrealistic it is. And how much it will hinder their survival and they can't afford it. For me, it was, so far I've built my interests by following my heart and ignoring every little motivation factor from outside. Now, I feel utterly lonely, I realised the place I've reached is so lonely. And this is the place I call home. And been losing friends from my life on a high speed. May be procrastination is a coping mechanism to go back to the world's norms.. And a way to preserve my empathy for the world.. And be a part of it.. like an actual part, of the group. There's only 2 things, which can break this. A strong ego, or a strong nothingness. Both will do. Ego is easier to summon, but hard to maintain. And nothingness takes a bit of work and pain sucking.. but less energy is needed to preserve it. I guess drugs are a failed way of preserving one or the other.. same for any addictions. Life purpose is equivalent of building a strong ego and maintaining it. Higher learning requires you be fluid.. But survival requires you be grounded and be blind in a way. That is if you're going the ego route.
  5. This is not so much a trip report but rather a question I have regarding the idea of “nothingness”. Also, if there are grammatical errors or anything that doesn’t make sense, English is not my native language so apologies in advance. Here’s what happened: I took 75mg of armodafinil in combination with 300-450ug lsd depending on how accurately the tabs were advertised. The come-up was definitely the scariest thing I have ever experienced. Especially because I didn’t expect it to be that intense. Physical objects kept dissolving in front of me, everything around me was changing its shape, at some point I convinced myself that I was surrounded by water and about to drown. Whatever horrible situation I thought about just happened, it was very hard to see a difference between reality and hallucination at that point. I’m still in my teens so I live with my parents (who are very conservative when it comes to psychedelics) and I almost decided to wake them up and tell them that I took lsd and needed to go to the hospital because I was dying. But I had such a hard time getting up or talking that I didn’t do it. (Looking back on it, taking lsd and armodafinil was very irresponsible while my parents were in the same house and is not something I would ever do again. I also gained a lot of respect for psychedelics during this trip and I enjoy being sober like never before). So as a quick side note, if you ever choose to take (ar)modafinil and psychedelics, maybe lower the dosage a bit because it will be much stronger than the psychedelics by themselves. At least in my experience. Then finally I was able to let go and got calmer, I reached the peak, closed my eyes, started drifting off and experienced ego death. Because of the armodafinil I had this intense clarity during the experience, usually with lsd I find it quite hard to focus on things for long but this time that wasn’t a problem. When I wanted my mind to go somewhere it did so extremely fast. My imagination was clear and stable if that makes sense. During the peak I was able to verify teachings from spiritual teachers and understand things on a deeper level, not merely having a conceptual understanding of consciousness, the ego, law of attraction, non-duality, etc but actually experiencing certain insights first-hand. I realized that wherever I was, I was always at home. Everything is me. I could never be lost. At that moment it started snowing, I just spent some time looking out the window, at the Christmas decorations, the lights in the dark, the snow flakes, experiencing it all with no boundaries between me and them because what I thought was “me”, was gone. “Me” now meant something different. I experienced unconditional love for the first time, because to love is to see something as yourself (because it is in fact you). Even when I decided to think about what we could consider horrible scenarios like war, torture, I had compassion for it. I felt no aversion. I felt love. Obviously not in some sick, psychopathic way but from a perspective where what we consider good and evil was transcended and both was taken as part of myself. For the first time, I didn’t feel any need to convince anybody of anything. Regardless if I agree with somebody else's choices / opinions or not, I started to fully accept them knowing why they made these choices, why they chose to think a certain way and that it’s 100% valid and ok the way it is. Performing actions like drinking water or using the toilet were very weird (for lack of a better word) because whatever I was looking at or interacting with was me. Further into the experience, I faced childhood trauma head-on and transcended some of it, by integrating it and accepting it as part of myself. For once I didn’t run away from negative emotions or thoughts. I just embraced them. I have never felt anything like this before. So in summary, I had my first ego death experience and from that perspective was able to have some deep insights and start to address some emotional trauma. However, (and this is why I am posting this in the first place) at some point during the trip I asked myself, “well, if I’m everything (“I” not being the ego of course), then I am also nothing. Because nothing is part of everything. And at this point I am not sure if it was my mind playing games on me but basically what happened was I was shown “nothing”. And as I started to go there / allowing the experience of nothingness, a thought came up basically saying that if I chose to experience nothingness it would mean that I could never return. Because from nothingness, there is no way back. There is no way, no ego, no universe, no awareness, not even unawareness. Just nothing. So in that moment I convinced myself that if I decided to experience nothingness, the universe would just sort of collapse and everything would cease to exist. Obviously that sounds funny right now but that’s what it felt like in that moment. Later during the trip, I noticed that maybe two seemingly opposing truths can exist at the same time and that there is no way to grasp that using a “three dimensional” or linear way of thinking about it. Maybe there are certain levels of truths. It appeared to me that yes, maybe “I am everything.” is an objective truth but that “I am.” is an even deeper truth. And therefore nothingness and “something” can happen without excluding the other. It also made me think about quantum mechanics (and I do not know a lot about this topic), that prior to being observed, a quantum system is not in any particular state. It’s in a superposition state that contains all the possible states at once. So first, it just “is”. Then it “is something” (when being observed). That would explain what I said before. At base, I simply “am”. And therefore I can take on the form of nothingness (or anything else really). Again, I not referring to the ego of course. I hope this kinda made sense, obviously these thoughts and experiences can’t be translated with accuracy using language. Also, and this is important, I’m not saying that anything I experienced is true or false, accurate or not. I do not want to convince anybody of anything, I do not want to make a point or get people to agree with anything I wrote. The reason for why I made this post is because most of you had insights and experiences (induced by psychedelics or not) that I didn’t. Most of you are far beyond my level of understanding, you have connected dots that I don’t even know exist and therefore it would be very interesting to have some input about “nothingness” (basically what I wrote about before) because I simply can’t let go of it. And thank you for taking the time to read this.
  6. Correct, i share this view. When sense of self is gone, there is not a possibility of being alone, because the self constructed everything, including world, others, reality, time, etc. Enlightment is complete death, which is why most of us are never enlightened, Only "states" of consciousness or "enlightment experiences". After a while Sort of sense of self has to build in order to keep playing illusion, if not physical body can not be hold for long time. So we are moving there, i think. Every one of us is a limb of the Nothingness Consciousness, little by little more awareness is being stablished. The goal is the dream one day Will come to an end. Whole world came from nothing and Will go back to nothing. But...the gift (or curse?) Of apparent individual experience comes from a freedom of choice of when you want to exercise that freedom Yourself. Every being goes at is own pace... altough the beings are imaginary yes, there is Only the Nothing.
  7. Consciousness isn't nothingness or 0. It is existence, Love, and awareness. It is complete and whole. It is indivisible Oneness. This dream, an illusion of multiplicity, is the opposite of that Oneness.
  8. @James Swartz Did you discover answers to the most important questions in life? Like: The reason behind the creation of the universe? What is God/Self? Is life a dream, an illusion, maya? What is the practical process of coming back home (to Self)? How do we break the cycle of birth and death? If God is perfect Love and the Creator of this domain, why is there suffering, pain, and death? Are you aware of the activities of the unconscious mind and the thought system that is hidden there? Is life made out of vibrations? Is the universe infinite? Is the theory of multiverse correct? Is it holographic? Does manifestation work? Is diet important in awakening? Was Buddha enlightened? If so, why didn't he mention that God is Love? Perhaps he was mistaken and finished his journey by only attaining nothingness aka cessation?
  9. Any emotional state is infinite. I wouldn't advise seeking a wider spiritual experience with other emotions unless you are very well grounded. I've experienced: Infinite Nothingness. Infinite bliss. Infinite sorrow. All of them were me.
  10. I've had a few awakenings here and then, mostly on psychedelics, but this Nothingness subject is the hardest for me to tackle, I just can't wrap my head around the intellectual idea, let alone the meta physical aspect of it, I read "God is Nothingness" but i think there is a lot of work for me to do yet, any help would be appreciated.
  11. There's no actual process. Just appear that way. There's no actual space or time, how can there be an actual process, but only within the dream. The dream of separation. There's no separation within the Absolute, its already whole and complete. Yea, to the meaning that there's no meaning to what already is. It doesn't need a meaning to be what it is already. The story doesn't exist. To exist means to stand out. Where is the story that stands out from anything else. Is made of nothing. This implies separation. There is none. It's illusory to the dreamer. Nothing to be conscious of if it's whole and complete. What's that? I've only heard the term through Spiritualists. Never knew what I've come to recognize had a name. What is false freedom. Doesn't matter if the dreamer thinks it's free or not free. The Absolute is free to appear as "false freedom". There's nothing but the Absolute which is already free. A person who thinks it's free is in no better of a position than one who thinks it's not. It may only lead to a better experience, which is ultimately not even happening. The form cannot be annihilated because it's just an appearance. It can only appear to be annihilated. Both collapses into nothingness. Existence cannot be defined because the words used are also it. There is no balance in wholeness. Completeness. It's already done. You see, I'm not speaking from some non-dualistic teaching that you assuming I got from some Neo whatever. It has become pretty obvious what this is. All you're saying is what seems to appear within this wholeness and what you assume about what's happening with what's appearing, IS THE STORY.
  12. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Your words are also love. A nothingness form of love.
  13. A small passage from my I-Ching consultation yesterday,,, This line can also refer to a person who, in following a spiritual path, has not experienced the benefits he expected. Instead of questioning whether he has been following the correct path, he interprets the counsel "to return" as saying that he has not tried hard enough, and needs to try harder. He must recognize that a spiritual path, as described in the main text, is a forward-leading path that leads to more and more separation from his true self, as he tries to become something special (i.e., a "spiritual being"). The path of return indicated by this hexagram is the path of divesting oneself of all self-images and attempts to be special. The person needs also to rid himself of the blame spell he has put on himself for not doing enough. (See p. 550, Deprogramming Procedure.) Pertinent correlation from Almaas’ Teaching- Ending Up with a Mental Image for an Identity An important question remains unanswered: Why, when Being or its aspect of space is lost, is what remains nothingness and not something else? In other words, why do we end up with emptiness and not another content of experience? To answer this question we have to discuss the point at which psychodynamics touches phenomenology. We need to see how psychodynamic processes—which are processes in time—affect felt phenomena—which always involve spatially experienced objects of perception. We first consider how specifically the loss of space leads to deficient emptiness.pace is lost as the mind takes self-image for identity. We have seen that this leads to the building of boundaries in the openness of space. The final result is that instead of the experience of Being without mental images, one ends up with a mental image for an identity. So instead of space being pervaded by Being it gets filled with a self composed of many self-representations. Now, what is the phenomenon of space when it is filled with the self? In other words, what is the mind filled with the psychic structure? On the surface it is the usual experience of the personality with its various manifestations. But, at the core, it is the deficient emptiness. The Void, pg. 135 We Know Ourselves From the Veil of Memory The mental images and attitudes that determine how we experience ourselves form the basis of a whole implicit worldview. We also experience ourselves only indirectly, as a subject experiencing an object. We are aware of ourselves as an object like other objects, seeing ourselves in the world as one object among others. Even when one is aware of oneself as perceiver or subject, this perception is different from the direct sense of our facticity, from the fact of our existence. We still know ourselves from the veil of memory. The Point of Existence, pg. 21
  14. Everyone makes it so complicated. Nothingness is a blank. Right now look all around you, notice that everything you see is within a blank. A blank cannot be detected by the senses, it cannot be perceived. When you go in deep sleep, it's a blank. So BEING, is so nothing, it doesn't exist as an appearance. Then there is knowledge, what we call appearance. To know a thing is to observe a thing. So creation is the birth of knowledge. So existence, is knowledge itself. But what is knowledge comprised of? Knowledge is made of being, an existence that is prior to appearance. So the biggest mind fuck of all is you can exist as nothing in particular. But if you do not exist as something in particular....you have no knowledge. So the embrace of non appearance as existence is to realize that appearance is literally made up of NON-APPEARANCE. This means you cannot die because you were never an appearance anyway. And death is just the expansion into a greater appearance, the unlimited unknowing self, with the unlimited all knowing self. This is Absolute Truth in its totality where everything is known as being. So it has complete self knowledge and complete awareness of its being at the same time. It has absolute control and it realizes why it gave that control to expression and knowledge of love with the full force of its intelligence.
  15. https://www.actualized.org/forum/search/?&q=Nothingness&author=Water by the River Selling Nothing by the River PS:
  16. No, "everythingness" is not in duality with nothingness. "Existence and nonexistence are incompatible. The difficult and the easy are mutually opposed. The long and the short, the high and the low, the lod and soft, the before and the after- are all opposites. Each reveals the other." from the Tao Te Ching But in a sense everything is nothingness, but not in a dual relationship like long and short.
  17. @James123 its like i can literally remember it being there pre birth, because its outside of time. im having a mini awakening right now wtf. is this really what people mean when they talk about the nothingness that never dies?
  18. Yes, I'd rate Andre Halaw's books as some of the most important for understanding classical enlightenment and Nothingness, and neti-neti is an effective method for realizing Nothingness as your true nature. I recently returned to his book No-Mind and a particular representation struck: "Consciousness is only a portion of what you are. You are not limited to your awareness, experiences, or consciousness. Below is a visual representation of your total self, where consciousness is depicted in white: As you can see, the white comma-shape expressing awareness accounts for only a fraction of the total image. Just as most of the photo is black, the vast majority of what we are consists of Non-awareness. Consciousness apprehends 'things' such as sounds, odors, etc., while Non-awareness is a type of knowing that does not rely upon forms, sounds, odors, flavors, objects, or thoughts. It is the darkness of Not-knowing. For this reason, I also call it Non-being, Non-existence, or even Nothingness, all of which point to the same reality—the formless, unconditioned Absolute at the base of consciousness and the root of all reality."
  19. life is short you know..? 10.. 20..30.. 40..50.. 60 years max and bye bye 👋 Right ? Fucking NO. What if death is only something you've been brainwashed with by society..parents ..other people..religion..and even science . You might have witnessed animals dying or people dying..but is that an evidence that YOU will die ? I know this sounds like mad talk that only belongs to the nut wards ..but trust me guys I've done hundreds of hours of contemplating ..and I assure you ..there Is not one single evidence that you are going to die. But ofcourse no amount of me saying this will get it to click in your mind . You must discover it for yourself. And also nobody knows what happens after death (if its even gonna happen) that is of course if we lay aside religious stories and philosophical speculation.. Hands down: Reincarnation.. Nothingness.. Heaven and hell realms etc are nothing but beautiful beliefs. Death itself is a fucking belief.
  20. Medicine: 150 ug 1P-LSD Intention: Contemplate How am I God, Infinite, Love? And retain more insights after the trip. Background Before this trip I had a very difficult experience with 4-AcO-DMT, so I decided to take some time to understand what I was going through and integrate better integrate the previous trips. I dedicated myself as well to read some books from Stanislav Grof and James Fadiman to understand more about LSD and other well known psychedelics as well as some other books from Leo's book list about God and spirituality. I also worked on improving my Kriya Yoga techniques and have been observing my micro fears and contemplating how these fears are related to myself. Finally, I contacted a psychotherapist which helped me during some earlier hard phases of my life, because I started to get anxious with the psychedelic trips and some personal stuff started to come during the trips, which I was not being able to integrate alone. The Trip Made all the preparations and took the LSD around 8:00 am, after that I made Kriya Yoga, I managed to get to 30 minutes but I started to feel the effects of the medicine and started to feel a little dizzy. I find interesting that the peaceful and after glow of Kriya some how merged with the effect of the LSD. I also made some Hatha Yoga because the LSD gets me some muscle soreness, and I have realized that Hatha Yoga helps me relax the body and allows the energy to flow better. I then laid down as the effects of the medicine were getting stronger, and started to ask me how am I God? I also started to become aware of the rapid movements of my ego mind and I managed to calm it down. And the I had this very deep insight about Nothingness, it was a very profound insight but I will try my best to describe it. I realized all the limitations that make me believe that I am a person, and realized that I had to overcome them in order to become God. As I realized this I had this vision of my body being fully surrounded by white energy and how all the limitations simply disappeared. And then I became Nothingness, I don't really know how long I stayed in this state as time had no meaning there. It was like if I was in the Void, there was no difference, it was Absolute Nothingness. Later I went to see how many time had passed since I first laid down and I spent at least two hours there. And suddenly I see how I decide to go back to the form and create myself as a tough and as this happens I have this vision that the Nothingness merges again with the white energy of Love like a multidimensional living Yin Yang and it creates a strange loop and I become this strange loop. As I realize the insight I sit there completely shocked and I see how my mind tries to wrap around and make an idea of it which is impossible. I tried to write about the experience and it came to my mind that is impossible to describe Infinity with something finite as words. Nevertheless there are some moments of great inspiration I feel during the trips, here is something I wrote down and I wanted to share: "It is as if God could talk me through music, thoughts, light, in all the many dimensions of the Self and It manages to do it so overwhelmingly good that It leaves me breathless". I became a little agitated because of the magnitude of this insight, so I started to walk around in the apartment and later made some more Hatha Yoga. It felt as if I was a puppet being shown how to make the Yoga positions. I wanted to lay down again and I realized that my ego-self didn't wanted me to do it and became agitated. I realized that I was also contracting my body and opened-up and started to make bilateral symmetrical movements and I managed to calm down. I am really amazed how easy is this technique and yet how helpful it is in such cases. I managed to calm down and relax, I wore some earplugs and tried to be as still as I could. I had one of this Samadhi experiences I have been having with the psychedelic trips. As I relaxed the mind, the limits of my body cease to exist and I literally feel I have no limits, during that moment also experience a lot of Love and it feels as I would elevate and leave my body. I guess that this is the sort of experiences that yogis get after many years of practice. There was also a moment when I felt I could remember who I truly am, not as my ego-self but as the higher Self. I could feel I was Infinite, Infinite Love, Eternal. It was just Awesome! I also realized that there is no such thing as a reference point and that everything is relative, except for the Absolute. As I got this realization I started to feel disoriented and fearful, my body wanted to close again but I managed to remain open, make some bilateral movements, so I could accept the insight and continue tripping. There was also a moment when I was at the kitchen and started looking at a mango, I became fascinated with its different colors and textures and at some point I realized that by concentrating myself on the mango I became the mango haha, I just don't know how to put this in words but it felt like that. At the end of the trip I started listening some music, something I have learned to enjoy specially when I do LSD, and there were some moments that I feel I become the musician playing the instrument and the music. I then went for a walk in to the forest, I felt drawn into the nature, part of me wanted to see the and be part of nature, so I spent a couple of hours walking and flowing with the constant changes of the wind, captivated by the fractal forms of some plants and the beauty of nature, looking the awesome colors of the leaves now that the fall begins here in Europe. Conclusions I felt I had a much more organic trip, as in my previous trips I could not remain so conscious of all the insights I got. I see that working on my fears have helped me go deeper during the trips. There where some moments where I felt I was drawing towards madness, but I saw that the only way I could get over my fears is to face them and that it is a long and slow process. I was reluctant and skeptic to contact the psychotherapist but working on some more personal stuff that has came up during the some previous experiences also allowed me to go deeper during this trip. But then again, it is a therapist that I have known for years, which could accept the idea of me working with psychedelics (even though she may not recommend it or like them) and someone I can also trust. Bilateral symmetry and remaining open is a great technique to avoid getting into anxious during the trip, at least it works for me and I cannot recommend it enough. Something I don't like about 1P-LSD is the muscle soreness and body load it generates, but I could counteract some of it by doing Hatha Yoga, something that may be manageable at least in lower to moderate doses where it is still possible to move around. When I started working with psychedelics at the beginning of the year I was afraid I would not be able to this with my girlfriend around and that it may even cause is trouble, but to my surprise it has been the complete opposite. I have learned to understand her better and to get closer in our relationship. Thanks a lot for reading this and for your comments! Thanks to the great community of Actualized.org and to Leo for his great teachings!
  21. Awakening to the facet of immortality and who you actually are Is very simple imo and can be done with simple logic. Only that which is unborn will never die . Is this clear ? Because if it dies then it wasn't eternal. It can only be eternal if it had no start in the past and therefore infinite amount of existing has already passed and it doesn't die . So ..again..only that which was unborn shall never die . Let's investigate what that "thing" is . Think about it ..What was born ? The human body ..This person that you appear to be ..this whole universe with its origin via the big bang. Etc All these were born ..so they will vanish eventually sooner or later. And What was never born? What didn't have a beginning and cannot have an end ? You should immediately see that it's Nothing . No thing . Only nothing is eternal. And therfore your true nature is nothingness. I hope the point I made is clear . If you guys have any questions or objections go ahead. Thx.
  22. Reality is a construct, the universe is a construct. It is constructed of nothingness. So of course a thought is a construct that is what imagination is, it is the power to construct which is the power to build which is the power to create. God is a constant dream. It either dreams itself as a void, or as non apparent, or it dreams up an appearance, all with the power of thought. Where do you think the power of thought comes from? If you could with your mind think the sun out of existence you would literally be using the power of God.
  23. I'm not denying consciousness. Please try to understand my position clearly . Consciousness exists . But what is consciousness? Its a shape shifting substance that has no ground . What's tripping you up in this inquiry is you imagine nothingness to be black void . No ..nothingness is a shape shifter that takes on endless forms but in its essence its not any particular form specifically
  24. A beginningless thing cannot die because if it can it must've been dead since infinite time in the past . Only that which is beginningless can be endless .and that thing is nothingness aka God.
  25. It can lead to a major panic attack or worse. I used to fear insanity a lot. Fear of the unknown or fear of death are also two big ones, but it doesn't matter as much what form the fear takes. You can even fear love. In my opinion it boils down to fear of nothingness, it's like your ego fears the void, where it is completely obvious that it is an illusion.