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@charlie2dogs Hi Charlie, I have to admit I am somewhat lost as to where you are leading us/people with these insights. Yes a more awakened person does not live in the head exclusively identified with memory and anticipation of future events based on that memory. But I'm finding it increasingly difficult to believe your claim that any sane individual (enlightened or not) would not be adjusted to reality in that there is indeed a past that is real and a future that needs to be planned for. Your description of a fully realized person sounds more like a dysfunctional tool unable to consciously adjust to the real world. I also harbour great suspicion for those who claim to know they are in contact with the absolute truth, who find reasons to argue instead of integrate and display an air of low level disrespect and a whiff of bitterness toward "ordinary" people who function at different levels of truth. I am also averse to people who seem to have lost the ability to speak to people on their level and give them the answers they need. Excuse me for my frankness but your posts are not resonating. -Mal

This is an interesting and important question. Where does this answer come from, some say from inside, some say other things. It is the human identity that decides the life purpose for the human being and not the consciousness for most all people. The humanity identity is controlled by everything outside of itself, programing, their involvement with society, friends and family, its creates beliefs from all these things, it has desires of the flesh for material things and pleasures therefore the identity chooses what it thinks will fulfill itself as far as a life purpose goes, and that is all good and well for the identity. but If and when one becomes self realized, then none of that can exist, because none of those are now in control of the destiny of the consciousness that possesses the physical body, once consciousness has fully awakened. For the self realized being, there is no future, no past, no identity, so where does this life purpose question fit in then. It doesn't, as a self realized being one is functioning in the moment of life, without thoughts of future or past, and living what life brings before the consciousness as the observer of events, one at that point functions in a conscious, aware, present state of being. So if the being of consciousness is functioning only in the moment of life, then how can it have a life purpose, which is a planning for the future, which in reality does not exist ?

Leo has it in a video http://www.actualized.org/articles/the-grand-model-of-psychological-evolution At the yellow stage (1st stage of Tier 2) you're aware of the previous stages; no fixed beliefs, but rather integrate knowledge and experience; self-realized/ awakened (full enlightenment is not a requirement at this stage); not a conventional thinker; priority on self-actualization/ reduced neuroses and need for external stimulation; no fear of being alone/ emptiness; you adopt Being-cognition. There are more characteristics, these are just the changes I've observed in myself.

the reality of your question is this: you as the identity are not going to choose self actualization or enlightenment, your ego, programing, false beliefs, and the desires of the flesh body is not going to choose anything to disrupt that. The other part of that reality is this: it is if and when the consciousness begins to awaken that you may pursue these things. Now if that is happening in you, then you might add to the awakening by slowing down, taking time to reflect on what really is important in life, who and what you are, how you got here, what will happen when you leave, what is really important in the daily events of your life, contemplating these things opens doors to more perceptions and understanding. It is possible that the addictions of the physical body, the programing and false belief and ego can be so strong that it can resist the calling of consciousness that may be attempting to remember its true state of being. My advice to you or anyone else is this, if the voice of consciousness is calling , respond as much as you can, for continually resisting it may shut that door. There is no guarantee that everyone is going to awaken, that is a newage philosophy, and many believe that you will continue to live over and over until you get it right, but again, that is newage philosophy, there is no proof for any of that, once awakened you will discover that most of what is taught in the world has nothing to do with reality or the reality of your very own being. the number who actually becomes self realized or enlightened are very few. Most are not seeking enlightenment, they are seeking and into personal growth. The majority of topics on this site is about issues of the identity and resolving those issues, there will be no end to issues of the identity, the end game for the victors is liberation from the identity, ego, programing, false beliefs, and desires of the flesh. To do that one must become self realized, and that means becoming something other than the identity and all its failing attributes. Being self realized isnt about giving up anything, its about becoming another kind of being, and as that other being you will do what keeps you in liberation, It is entirely possible for one to finish out their existence here as a self realized being, finding happiness, joy, peace, love and living a constructive. These thing are for your consideration and contemplation, you cannot fully understand until after the experience of these things but contemplating them may open up some things for you.

I wish there was an easy answer to that but it isnt, it could be very quickly and it could take some period of time, it all hinges on you but you should see some results rather quickly at least in feeling more centered, calmer, when consciousness becomes so attached to the physical body that it thinks it is the body, it has become disassociated from its true state of being. Then it has to awaken to the reality of its true state of being after some period of time, most often after a very long time as the identity, but for you to have the interest in your personal growth that you do is a sign that the consciousness is awakening. The single most important thing that you can do now is, to take short periods of time and simply be still and be quiet and feel the presence of the life force within you, this is the key. Don't try to do this for long periods of time, keep it to fifteen to maybe thirty minutes, but really focus on the life force within. You can also spend time contemplating yourself, seeking the answer to things like, who am I really, what is this force that is keeping this body alive, how did i get here, did i exist before this body, what will happen after i leave this body, direct these questions and others toward the life force within you. It will bring changes, but the whole idea of self realization is to drop the attachment to the identity and experience the real part of yourself and that is the life force that is guiding your body and life. It is your attachment to the body that is keeping you from the experience of the self. The most simple way of regaining your true state of being is to intentionally spend time with the real you, it will cause a greater awakening. You will have to trust what you are dong, be faithful to it, and it will bring results, there will be a lot of things that try to interfere with what you are doing so the desire must be present for change to come. Believe in yourself, everything you need to succeed in life is within your own being, tap into it. There will come a time for you when you will no longer seek the teachings, philosophies and doctrine, paths, writings, of others because the master within you will be your teacher and guide. In this process be careful how you subject yourself to the ideas and beliefs of others, because most all of the people you know have not touched upon this themselves and the most they can give you is ideas and beliefs about what they think. Everything you need to self realize is right within yourself. The real master is within you, seek it, spend time with it, it will do the work for you. Save this text and read it often, I am not trying to teach you philosophies and doctrines here, i am only pointing you to the source of your own being and that is the key to self realization. Those who would hinder you in this work you may have to walk away from for period of time, because if you subject yourself to the negativity of others it will have an affect on you, when you are stronger what other people do won't bother you. You are only responsible for your own awakening, but once awakened you may be able to point friends or family in the right direction for liberation also. Set your eyes on the life force within and dont stop until you are it, functioning as a being of consciousness and not a human identity. Trust yourself, be strong, and never give up.

i have not been in pursuit of this awakening...it has been more of something that is just happening for me/ to me...however you wish to say it. i am not sure one can get to the awakened state by trying to get there, i don't know. what i do know is that once realized that it is happening, it gains momentum with no trying from me. everyday there is something new by the shedding of the old. the ego dies...and everything that it knew and held important dies with it. i tried to keep it on life support...thought i could...but...it's not working. it's dying along with everything else. here is something that one doesn't see untill one see it. here it is; Alone in Enlightenment by Howdie Mickoski Realization is a very misunderstood...I was going to write achievement, but it’s not an achievement, just a happening. It is like making a long, steep, tough climb up a mountain, only to get to the top and go, “mmmm, nice view.” Then you walk back down. That’s it, nothing special, but it revolutionizes everything. Enlightenment is the shocking realization that there is only one. Not one thing, or all is connected, just one. It sounds like a simple re-ordering of words, but the meaning of that word order is profound. Everyone has the constricting belief that enlightenment or God is over “there” somewhere and their job in life is to “find” it. The problem is that we are “here” and will always be “here” – but if enlightenment is over “there,” how can it be found? Actually enlightenment/God is also here, always was here, but what it is, is actually not what 99% of seekers really want. Seekers want the enlightenment they have been sold: being happy, important, full of love, no more problems. Like a continuous orgasmic or drug high. That is the reason they are seeking in the first place, the wished-for, blissful finish line. If anyone really understood what awakening was, no one would want it. Enlightenment is about “alone.” A true encounter with the Absolute/God reveals that no one is doing the experiencing, only the absolute revealing itself to the absolute. Nothing exists, yet there is the appearance of existence. Realization is alone (all-one). But everyone fears alone, so they run to spiritual practice, patterns, lovers, food, booze, any distraction to avoid the only true fear. The fear of no self (often called emptiness) is the fear that “I” do not exist. Fear of no self is not the fear of death, but the fear that you as a human being do not exist at all. That is where all the “spiritual groups” get caught, they are looking for what’s in it for “them” or “us.” Realization is one and alone for there is no other. Everything that tells you that you are separate from anything else falls away. Thus you are alone, with the appearance of others. The initial glimpse of this is so terrifying to ego it responds with the emotions of meaninglessness and despair. But as soon as the mind falls away, those emotions go too and all that is left is What Is, and the marvelous curiosity about the dream and what is going to happen next. Suffering is the belief in the story of me. The question is, who are you without your story? Too frightening is this thought, so everyone keeps struggling because ego wants to keep the story of “me” going. Seeking becomes the strategy to overcome this fear, for as long as there is seeking, there is a seeker. Asleep people have experiences to confirm their existence. I am good, I am bad, I am in love, I am working hard, I am eating ice cream, I am suffering. All are defined with I, but if there were no more I, then who are you? This is the question that takes us to see there is no True Self. Only false self and no self. You don’t try to improve self, you kill it to break free of the illusion of the dream state. You kill it by finding out it was never there to be killed. The trick to this is to die while alive and then see what is left. Form will still be here, but now you will no longer be a person, just look like one, but who can you tell this to? And that can make this process a lonely one at times. We can be in a room full of people and still feel alone. The deepest truth is that everything is a dream or a movie, nothing exists, not even you. Connecting and relationships are the way fictional dream characters hide the fact that nothing exists, and if anyone pulls away, the other characters (your friends and family) will do everything to pull you back into the dream to confirm with them that everything exists and has meaning. Waking up is willingly drifting into that fear to see what will happen, doing it because we can no longer stand the alternative of not doing it. The road to all of this is a most solitary thing. Even if a few people walk together for a while, each one knows that they are alone and that they cannot expect anything from the others, nor can depend on anybody. The only thing he can do is to share his path with those who accompany him, and know that accompaniment could end at any moment. So it is normal to look for silence in the mountains or forest or the desert. These periods are like a lover’s retreat, to be with his own inner silence. Silence becomes their lover. The world for the awake is a rather solitary place, and learning to be comfortable in this state takes some work because our conditioning to be social is still in strong effect for the body/mind. Once one learns to enjoy themselves just as much with a group of friends as totally alone, that is when they have reached a new plateau in their state. Most people are simply social because they are so alone and want to do anything to avoid that feeling, while awakened realize that loneliness was just the core of what they are, went into it – and now they are like with a lover whether there are people around or not. They know there is no longer an other, so they need no other to feel “connected.” Hard to explain in words. Loneliness can also affect the newly awake because it is very draining energetically to spend a lot of time around the asleep and their make believe dramas and hopes. It gets hard to play that game, and you wish simply for more time alone. There is still the appearance of other forms, so we still interact with things like we used to – it just gets very hard for the dream to trick us anymore into thinking “something” is happening with some “other person.” But still, you have to act like things are real. It may not be a real rainstorm, but you go inside if “you” don’t want to get wet.

Saarah, You wake up each morning...you have awakened. Where did you come from when you awoke this morning? Where were you in deep sleep? Unlearn all the conditioning of how to be happy. An unconditioned 5 year old child Inhabits bliss with a rubber spatula for hours. "Pee" as Ajax mentioned, question yourself as Corte has, charlie2dogs has offered help as well. Quiet the mind, the hair on your head doesn't require thoughts to grow.

"That spacious, groundless sense of being, needs to become part of our nature, to be familiar territory, and then awakening arrives by itself. The ultimate cannot belong to anyone, nor can there be someone who is awakened."

i want to offer you an idea to consider. the sole purpose of meditation is to be one with the life source within yourself, nothing more, nothing less. If your consciousness has begun to awaken, then it is giving you thoughts and ideas out of the norm, when you take those and contemplate them they expand within your own consciousness and change takes place more and more, so to be still, be quiet within and be one with the life source within yourself is the key to your own liberation, which is what consciousness is or may be seeking at some point. Your consciousness created the body you now exist in, it became lost in the identity that it thinks it is, for some an awakening begins to happen by the consciousness, Many become trapped in religious and newage nonsense, this hinders the awakening, if it is possible for you, begin to drop your belief system, examine what you believe and why, and understand that belief is never real, it only creates a prison for your mind. Begin to examine your programing that you have been programed with since birth, these two things are controlling everything that you do, think, feel, say, is it real or just something you have been taught or believe, all you have to do is just drop it, stop believing. Once thoroughly awakened belief is not an option. Truth and reality of anything can only be had within consciousness itself when functioning as a being of consciousness, your identity will never experience reality or truth, the identity can only experience programing and belief. It is not some teaching, theory, or practice, or guru that consciousness is seeking once awakened, it is seeking liberation from all that it has become entangled with.

your core values are based on the identity, its ego, and desires what do you consider an authentic life to be? Do you really think that the identity can choose to go all in enlightenment as you put it? you are the paradox, man whatever will be will be, that makes the identity and ego feel great. the real issue here is that your consciousness hasn't awakened from the dream that it created to play in.

why would an awakened being want to debate with belief systems, they dont. when you have living experience of your core being, there is nothing to debate.

hello everyone Basically from childhood i was a quiet kid and and from around high school up until college didn't really speak much was kind of lost and really shy . i did not really socialise and only had a few close friends and was isolated and probably seen as a wierd by most people. i started to realize as i was growing up that i was insecure about the way i looked, the reason why i felt insecure was that i was not getting much attention from the opposite sex and was seeing the cool kids picking up girls and talking to them and there was me chatting to a few friends and not being outgoing. i wasnt really into education most of my childhood like from 7th to 11th grade i used to always give up and never really put the effort, i would get good grades sometimes but hardly ever and was quite average on an academic level. i dont want to go really deep into my childhood but i had really bad childhood and horrible memories that i try to forget but sometimes it does creep up in to my mind but i always just attempt to brush them off. when i got to university i thought of joining the gym to bulk up as i was a really skinny guy and needed to gain some weight as i felt like i needed to improve someway to strengthen my confident and appearance . then i have my family who are really controlling as i was growing up , i did not feel like i was treated well and mentally i was not in the right place at times.As i was growing up and did not get the love i deserved as a child and my parents would tell me to get good grades and i just wasn't putting in the effort as a kid and i wasnt a violent kid however i was actually a really good kid , ive always believed in being well behaved and helping people and staying positive but i was never really getting the help that was needed mainly because ive never really opened up to anyone . So i was going through a on and off depressive state most of my life then one day my way of thinking changed i started to forget because i started to socialise in university more and was just distracted by the life of meeting new people then suddenly one day i felt a new me ( i think i was enlightened or awakened) and felt like a new born baby, this was mainly because i was getting the attention and love random people would show me, it was truly a magical experience and ive never felt so powerful in my life i would literally get approached and people would look at me and be like wow youve changed'' you look so different and happy'' etc. so then 8 to 9 months later i hit depression again and it really took a big chunk out me like this time the depression was 10 times worse then ever before, i felt like ive been deprived of true happiness. this really effected my education and had to drop out due to this depression and i just really need to find a solution. i hope someone can give me some advice on finding my self again. i do apologize for any spelling mistakes and etc

when you have no desires you will no longer be on this earth. Even those who have awakened from the dream and become self realized and are staying here for the purpose of assisting human beings, have to maintain a little desire in order to stay in the physical body,

Im in the same position, I think the most logical thing to do is probably just set aside 30 minutes a day for self-inquiry work and leave it at that. The rest of the day don't worry about enlightenment at all and instead just live normally and do your regular affirmations, mindfulness, positive thinking, visualizations,and all the other self-improvement/life purpose stuff . It's hard to not become obsessed with enlightenment and do all that other stuff because enlightenment feels so important and your so frustrated with your state of unenlightenment and you feel like doing anything that isn't bringing you closer to becoming awakened to the truth of reality is a waste of time lol .

Algi, once awakened, the reality of things become clear, one begins to see the reality of the world around them and other identities. I used to say that 99.7% were lost in their own nonsense, I changed it here in this topic to 99.8% this comes after years of observation of the human condition and human beings. I am not a believer, opinions are worthless to me now, beliefs are never real and are nothing more than an assumption of knowledge. Once truly awakened everything changes because one is no longer just a human being, you return to being a being of consciousness which is your true state of being. The 99.8 % is my observation as consciousness to the reality of what is going on here. Many are called, few are chosen, straight is the gate and narrow is the way that leads to life or rather liberation from the human condition, ever seeking, never finding. I used these text from a religious book, the statements in themselves are not religious, but reveal some reality about this path that most claim to be seeking. I hope there is an answer in there someplace for your question.

Thank you. In my experience I only wanted it to increase my creativity and freedom. I am now in a transition phase and there is sometimes the feeling of deppression and emptiness. It is that I do not feel like my time is done here. There is so much to explore, and to not explore a stage fully and evolve prematurely is not what would be nice to me at the moment. Still I want to go on and see where the guitar is leading me too. That journey has deepened so far. Every spiritual teaching I thought they talked about the thoughts about the relationship between the guitar and expression (ofcourse a bit misunderstood, xD). Spirituality was a way to write more creative songs to break through with a band (only there is no singer yet). Ofcourse, the journey contains much more and it led to other things, though the guitar is still with me. It would be fun if the universe would explore that journey with the guitar and a few years in would be preparing for satsangs or something (if there was full-integration and realization). Ofcourse just future thinking here, but if it would go straight into the full realization thing, I could be so awakened that the physical body would die. So just the difference is that I explored the guitar journey or not. Why would it matter to the universe that there is that exploration? I still want to explore that and then go into the minimal living. It is not really a seeking now with the guitar, more a passionate thing in the present moment. To share the music would be great, only no singer . I wish joy to everyone!

I have noticed in life that most people are running to and fro from one thing to another trying to find something they dont understand. They try this method and that method until one day those who do awaken finally realize the answer isnt out there, it is inside of themselves. You try to point them to this but they cant hear, they keep looking for a new method, new school of thought, new spiritual practice but none of it works. Really its not about enlightenment, that is just a term that means nothing once awakened. The identity cannot overcome its ego, its desires of the flesh, its impossible, trying to find enlightenment from the identity, it will not bear fruit. I dont even care for the term enlightenment, it has been butchered until it means nothing. The only way to liberation can only be had by experiencing the core of your own being, consciousness, it is responsible for the creation of the body you now inhabit, and this little play called life. (In order to become liberated from the identity, ego, desires of the flesh is to be able to be in the space of consciousness, and allow consciousness to do the cleansing for you, it will happen, it is automatic, when you occupy the space of your core being). This is the way, the only way to liberation. I know you have heard that there are many ways to get there, that is an illusion, that was never true. If you can grasp this one preceding statement and live that, its game over. Live as a being of consciousness, that statement in itself wont mean anything to anyone until you have the experience of being a being of consciousness, it is only then that one understands, has the knowledge, and the experience. You can talk about something but you cant know or understand until you own it.

This is from a Buddhist perspective, so take it with that in mind, and discard it if it does not make sense: What he is describing is also the feeling I got after my experience. The content/peaceful feeling, and a big reduction in mind sticking to bad states and not accepting them. The contentment/wholeness is always present, even in time of high stress it is always accessible. However that is not the "end" of the path, but only the beginning in Theravada Buddhism. It is the start of the ariya path, which are people, (monks or laypeople) who have attained one of the four levels of awakening (stream-entry, once-returner, non-returner, arhant) . The 4th (Arhant) is a person who has torn out all Greed, Hatred, and delusion and other fetters by the root, and is than considered "fully" awakened, or "Fully Enlightened". The first step, which is what he seems to be talking about, is the state where you can see the ego entity as not "self" or not part of you. The illusion is spotted. You still know there is a lot of bad habits to break. But identifying the bad habits and changing them is made simpler because you are not attached to them as "this is who I am". He(or the video creator) is calling it enlightenment; personally, I think it's just the first step after you have realized that "you" were already enlightened from the start, but have forgotten due to having all the conditioning of society, parenting and nature layered on top of you from birth (and past existence). Enlightenment is not a destination, it is a realization of what you(and all of existence and nonexistence) have always been. Just my two bits.

I aim in life to be the lighthouse, to inspire and show an example of what is possible. I must work on making my own self more aware and awakened. I have had so many mid-life crisis already about what the hell I am doing in this reality and I am 19 years old,,, If someone talked at me about this stuff when I was asleep I would have believed that they were lying to me so It is very very powerful and inspirational to be awakened and show you're true authentic self... this video is great!! Helps so much to understand the fundamentals and for me to stop preaching and start showing an example...peace out!

Monika i was looking at the number of topics already on the forum, 13 pages i think, and looking at the titles of those topics tell a lot about forum members and where they are. Monika, solutions only work for those who first can hear the solution without their programing and false belief system shutting it down, most people hear according to what they believe, their belief limits their hearing, Most will not go against their belief system to implement change. Most already think they are more awake than they are. Just reading other peoples text will tell you where they are by the questions and remarks that they make. Once awakened the self realized not only know themselves but know all others as well. To a self realized being, the lives of others is an open book, seen at a glance. There is only a very small percentage of people who will ever take a real solution seriously doesn't matter that it is coming from a person who has walked the path ahead of them. There are so many newage theories and philosophies today there is nothing but mass confusion. I have been involved in two or three chat rooms on the internet for a number of years, talking about consciousness, personal growth, liberation from the insanity of the human condition and generally instead of taking you seriously, most who are running on programing and belief are just waiting to give you their opinion and instead of trying to understand the real solution that you are giving, they say well that is your belief or that is your opinion, they don't even realize that all they have is belief and opinion trying to talk to real life experience. The reality is that only a handful of the people in your lifetime will awaken to the reality of life and who and what they are, most of it will be rationalized, intellectualized, and many will actually believe they are awake, in reality they have no idea what awake means, have no idea of the transformation that happens to a person when they awaken and become self realized. Honestly most of it has become nothing more than a social forum with people expressing their opinions on things they know nothing about. I know this may sound harsh to you and many others but once awakened you can no longer accept the nonsense and you cannot help people by giving them more nonsense, and when you give reality you get accused of being to harsh or talking over the heads of other people. I am not trying to discourage you, go for your solution forum, and when you do observe everything, the questions asked, the answers given, look for living experience and not opinions and belief, observe the difference. The living experience of a human functioning as the fictitious identity that they have created, and the living experience of a human who has made the transition from the human being to the being of consciousness that we really are, are a world apart, but then they tell us there are many levels to all of this, that there are many paths, and journeys which never seem to have a real destination or expectation of arrival at a destination but leaves everyone with an excuse for where they are, and this is normal behavior in a world of human beings with fictitious identities. I realize that all things change moment by moment and that consciousness is in a process of evolution, I also know that when reality sets in the illusions and dreams dissolve and everything changes because you are no longer a human being but a being of consciousness that observes life and functions from that space of being. Having said all that, good luck with your proposal and your own personal growth.

Off course when one `s awakened there`s an enormous power realm behind all actions, call it God, Being or Consciousness. Actions out of enlightenment you can not compare with actions out of individual consciousness. They are of a different order. To give you an amazing example; In 1980 a young guy from India landed in Paris. A woman spotted him and asked him what his plans where. The young boy told her he came to Europe because people around the world needed him and he wanted just to help. She invited him to her home and he started to teach her. A few weeks later he has given teachings to dozens of people and was invited to the Netherlands. Two weeks later Germany followed. One year later he started an organisation devoted to teach people meditation. Today his organisation, known as The Art of Living, has given meditation-lessons for more than 350 million people in more than 150 countries. The boy himself, known as Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, still lives in a small kutir in his Ashram and is a living example what it means to just give in life. Leo`s idea, to discover your existential nature first, is a big truth. It`s just that only a few are able to go all the way. And even when not enlightened, one can contribute to the world when one`s sincere and is having the right intentions.

@Hardik jain I've been awakened. Not enlightened yet.

People are not flocking to or becoming enlightened in droves, there has never been but a few out of each generation that actually awakened and self realized. The number of people who will self realize in your lifetime will only be a handful. Most are not going to give up their programing, beliefs or identity. The few that are awakening and have a desire to grow and learn is not all that many. Most of them have no idea what self realization is, or what it isnt. In any public forum you have every kind of people, Those who want to grow and have a desire are looking for something they don't have, they need to be able to hear the reality of what real growth and self realization is about, without being watered down so everyone isnt offended. Any time you are confronted with programing, false belief and ego, you are going to get resistance. I am not trying to awaken the world, I speak to those who have begun to awaken, who have a desire for personal growth and have a real interest in self realization, and i will never withhold the reality of things to make those who are programed with a false belief system feel a little better. In this kind of work you have the right to choose who you listen to, if its over your head and you dont want to try and grasp it, simply ignore it and keep going the way you are going until it no longer works for you, but dont try to stifle the ones who are actually doing it. Only those who are ready for a thing are going to grasp it. some are going to be offended because reality has a way of hurting peoples ego. If there is something you dont like about a post or its too advanced for you, you are not required to respond or complain about it, simply leave it and go on, someone who is ready will pick it up and learn from it.

@Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj Hey! I was where you are, a Zen monastery was everything i wanted to go to. Let me tell you this from my humble point of view. Going to a Zen monastery won't give you a single bit of an advantage on your way. Yes, not a single bit. If this is what resonates though, go do it. Give all that you have to it. Go there and don't expect to come back. I had so many fantasies about a Zen monastery only to not face myself where i am at RIGHT HERE and RIGHT NOW. One thing to remember: In a Zen Monastery you are on your own as you are where you are now. There won't be anyone to help you. And expect facing excruciating doubts day in and day out. And one more thing: A realisation inside monastery walls is this everything you want? There are many "awakened" monks who try their luck in the "real world" and just fuck up. Bringing it to life in everyday regular normal life is the real deal. So i'd suggest you find a genuine teacher first. And don't get me wrong Zen is a beautiful way.

A real awakening is waking up from the person, seeing through it's illusion. So if the person is taking credit of the experience it will not last. Are there signs? Yes there is. An awakened person wants attention and respect for being enlightened. He can be a douche. Feel like he is better than others who hasn't "awakened". Someone who has truly realized what they are will never act this way. They will rather keep quiet.