On The Verge Of Giving Up My Meditation Habit

[Mary]

I've been meditating consistently for about 2 months now. Just recently I've upped it to 30 minutes a day and I've also just started using the "do nothing" technique.

so I've reading around here that all you guys had some good insights in the early start of your meditation habit. I've had none till now and I'm beginning to think I'll never have any. All I get is this pure, restless and wild monkey mind. I'm not seeing much results with my meditation, so it's just making me want to quit. What do you think? Should I be patient with myself or just quit?  

I meant I think I should let go of it for a few days. Maybe then I understand why I should meditate at all. What do you guys think?

[Mal]

@Mary

Just quit.

Go back and forth until the pain gets so intense that it forces you to take this seriously.

 

[Fishy]

Im thinking 2 months aint nothing.

[Mary]

@Mal Well, the pain is already strong. I had hit rock bottom before looking seriously into self help.

My situation is surely better than a year ago. I mean I was crippled with shyness, now I'm pretty cool. (Although I didn't cure it with meditation. I wasn't meditating back then. I cured it mostly through other approaches that I used. But now that I do meditation, I think it has become even better. Though, to be honest, I don't know if it's meditation effects.)

It's just that I think I'm wasting my time cause I'm not seeing any cool effects of meditation that you guys always talk about.

[Telepresent]

37 minutes ago, Mary said:

so I've reading around here that all you guys had some good insights in the early start of your meditation habit. I've had none till now and I'm beginning to think I'll never have any. All I get is this pure, restless and wild monkey mind. I'm not seeing much results with my meditation, so it's just making me want to quit.

...

Maybe then I understand why I should meditate at all. 

There's a really important question here that you need to answer - for yourself - about why you're meditating.  Everyone will have their individual reasons, and those reasons are what will keep you going in harder periods.  BUT, in order for that to really keep you going, your reasons have to be strong enough to keep you slugging through when it's not smooth.  So if you're into it because you're curious about some cool or interesting insights, maybe that's not enough for you.  Or maybe you pictured a fast turn-around in terms of results, and you're starting to feel frustration that it doesn't seem to be happening (if that's the case, I completely get it - I've been plugging away at various self-improvement areas for YEARS and it sometimes feels like I haven't taken a single step.  That can be immensely frustrating, and yeah I sometimes want to throw in the towel.  It's countered, though, by moments when I suddenly realise how far I've come!)

So I think the answer has to come from you, in terms of how important the potential pay-off could be for you.  If you haven't already watched it I'd recommend Leo's 'Be Fucking Patient!' video - certainly helped me out last time I was flagging

 

[cetus]

@Mary  Don't be the meditator, be the stillness. It's all about the "letting go". The letting go of the you that is meditating and transcending into stillness. If you decide to meditate again, find that stillness within you and allow it to consume everything. Surrender to it by falling into it's depths.  You are stillness, not a meditator. So no matter what choice you make if or not to meditate. Either way eventually there will be no "you" meditating.

[JustinS]

@Mary Throw in other motivators; float tanks, massages, yoga, running, self acceptance 

[cetus]

@JustinS I would love to try a float! Have you?

[JustinS]

@cetus56 Oh why yes it's such an experience! Done it a handful and always fresh. Search for one in your nearby city I'm sure there is one. You can also find GroupOns for deals. Enjoy and I would love to hear about your experience. 

[Flicker_boy]

@Mary it's just a phase, don't fight it. You don't need to know what to do all the time.

I would say be patient and if you feel like it change the ammount of time you spend meditating.

There are other ways to know yourself as a being though, so don't take meditation so seriously. You got this shit handled already. You're alive

[Mal]

 

6 hours ago, Mary said:

@Mal Well, the pain is already strong. I had hit rock bottom before looking seriously into self help.

My situation is surely better than a year ago. I mean I was crippled with shyness, now I'm pretty cool. (Although I didn't cure it with meditation. I wasn't meditating back then. I cured it mostly through other approaches that I used. But now that I do meditation, I think it has become even better. Though, to be honest, I don't know if it's meditation effects.)

It's just that I think I'm wasting my time cause I'm not seeing any cool effects of meditation that you guys always talk about.

Perhaps this is something to look at?  I mean, the quitting thing, is quitting something you do when you don't see a result?  Meditation like "do nothing" actually helps bring about awareness in times when we're bang in the middle of acting out a repeated pattern of failure or self sabotage and is the saving grace that breaks that cycle.

So maybe continue with the practice, and wait for the REAL test of the practices effectiveness.  

You will be surprised how much a pain pattern can make you more conscious instead of unconscious when you have this meditation habit behind you.

For example:  You mentioned in your other post that you fear you might not be able to get a boyfriend.

Well, this is a pain pattern.  If you stick with the meditation, one day when this thought comes up again you simply won't believe it anymore.  You will see it as silly, even laughable.  It is THEN in those moments when you understand first hand the power of these methods.  Those are the times you grow.

Edited July 18, 2016 by Mal

[ChimpBrain]

Hi Mary. I just wanted to assure you that you're not alone. I've been doing 20 min a day for about 6 months now, and when sober, don't get much more from meditation than simple stress relief and an awareness of just how stressed and overwhelmed I feel 24/7.

[Ayla]

@Mary , meditation is a TOOL. It is used to help you understand that thoughts, are just that: thoughts. When that truth begins to reveal itself, there are usually "rewards" and "positive experiences" people have. 

So if you want positive experiences, go do something that gives you that in a direct way. If you want to see through and be able to "drop the thoughts", either play with the length/timing  of meditation, or use other techniques available. 

What has helped me in the past, was a very simple technique from a book called "the Artist's Way": First thing in the morning, write down 3 pages with whatever mind comes up with. (serves to empty the mind of ...ermmm.. stuff, so that it doesn't need to stray as much during the day)

[charlie2dogs]

9 hours ago, Mary said:

I've been meditating consistently for about 2 months now. Just recently I've upped it to 30 minutes a day and I've also just started using the "do nothing" technique.

so I've reading around here that all you guys had some good insights in the early start of your meditation habit. I've had none till now and I'm beginning to think I'll never have any. All I get is this pure, restless and wild monkey mind. I'm not seeing much results with my meditation, so it's just making me want to quit. What do you think? Should I be patient with myself or just quit?  

I meant I think I should let go of it for a few days. Maybe then I understand why I should meditate at all. What do you guys think?

mary the real purpose of meditation is to enable you to reconnect with the self, peace, joy, and liberation is in the self, and it seems that your meditation isnt taking you there,  maybe you are going about this all wrong, did  you ever consider that.

Edited July 19, 2016 by charlie2dogs

[Leo Gura]

10 hours ago, Mary said:

I've reading around here that all you guys had some good insights in the early start of your meditation habit. I've had none till now

That's your problem right there.

Your expectations are totally off-kilter.

If you watched some of my earlier meditation videos, I clearly tell you to make a life-long commitment and to not expect any results for 1 year. I said that for a reason. Because you would psych yourself out otherwise with silly expectations.

When you undertake a serious life change, you CANNOT do it for the purposes of the result. That almost always leads to failure. You have to do it for a higher purpose -- as a matter of principle. Then you are almost guaranteed to succeed.

The only thing stopping you from experiencing the life-altering benefits of meditation is your improper expectations. That is all. That's the only obstacle.

[Mary]

@Leo Gura What are the higher purposes, Leo?

[electroBeam]

If you keep meditating, even after 10 years there's a chance that you will gain some insights, or even enlightenment. If you stop meditating it is GUARANTEED that you will never gain any insights, and will NEVER reach enlightenment.

Also I just want to point out some Wisdom I heard from Alan Watts. Now if an 8 year old child told you that you should expect this that and the other after 1 month of meditation, would you listen to that child? NO. Because that child knows nothing about meditation! Now remember that you know about as much about meditation as the average 8 year old, so why are you taking advice about what you should expect and what you shouldn't from yourself?

 

I started meditating about a month and a half ago, I started AT 30 minutes, and have consistently been meditating every day.

I also haven't achieved any insights. so you aren't the only one.

[SMI]

I think everyone should get into meditation and enlightenment stuff after they have overcame some challenging situation like losing weight (if overweight) or some other challenge. Because that gives the understanding of the growth curve. Understanding of growth curve and being patient with respect to it, should be the first step in moving towards self actualization.

[Leo Gura]

18 hours ago, Mary said:

@Leo Gura What are the higher purposes, Leo?

Truth, would be one example.

For the sake of your career life purpose, would be another example.

For the sake of your relationships with other humans, would be another example.

[jjer94]

23 hours ago, electroBeam said:

If you keep meditating, even after 10 years there's a chance that you will gain some insights, or even enlightenment. If you stop meditating it is GUARANTEED that you will never gain any insights, and will NEVER reach enlightenment.

Be careful...this is exactly the kind of spiritual dogma that you want to watch out for. To every rule, there are always exceptions.

Enlightenment is a pathless path; there is no process to get to where you already are. Anyone who says you HAVE to do x or y is missing the point.

As an example, I didn't meditate before I woke up. It was only a year later that I found Do Nothing particularly useful for my situation. I've also been doing it for a month and a half.

Meditation is just one of many tools for seeing through your mind-made illusions, among having other benefits. Sure, it can be useful for everyone in some way, but if I were you I'd avoid going as far to say you NEED to do it. Everyone's situation is different.