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@Serotoninluv Yeah I've experienced both and can say they're nearly opposites. People and places feel extremely alien and unfamiliar when DP, whereas they feel a part of you with enlightenment. @Coraline Sounds to me like if you were to develop the disorder you probably would have by now, but still be careful. Educate yourself, Harris Harrington has a good YouTube channel that explain some of the childhood issues that can lead to dissociative problems.

Since my early teens I had this strong urge to be lonely. I always felt extremely comfortable and free when being alone. Around people I get tired in a matter of seconds. While this may be good for Enlightenment work it badly affects every social aspect of my life. I lost many friends because of that, I could not succeed in extroverted careers, was doing bad in group studies... I just can't bound with people anymore... In order to survive this materialistic, social world I invented many masks - I carry them everyday in such an extent that I am alien to myself. I almost forgot my true face... It feels like nobody understands me. If I show my true face and interests to other people just struggle to understand me. Most people feel that I am too mysterious and hard to communicate. Is there a way out for such a strong desire of loneliness? It is so hard to survive in this extroverted world like this.

Last Friday I was hanging out with some of my friends and we were talking about the wildfire that's been going on for the last couple of weeks. So they brought up this topic that there were a few people who believed that the government was setting up cameras and monitoring devices while their homes were being evacuated, and they ended up getting killed because they didn't get out in time. I thought it was a stupid idea because how can anyone believe that the wildfires were fake? Well, anyways there were people who did believe that, and it was just mind-baffling to hear such stories because there are tons more conspiracy theories out there that people actually believe. There were people who believed that our government was run by shape-shifting alien reptiles, and there are also people who believed that 2012 was the end of the world, and they still insists on the idea that the world really did end in 2012 and we're living in a so-called "new world". I've been thinking about this for such a long time now and I still couldn't come up with a conclusive reason why this is the case. I don't know if it makes any sense, but here's my hypothesis: First, the beauty of conspiracy theories is that it requires no evidence or critical thinking, therefore, it only appeals to people without the ability to seriously question things for themselves. When you look at the population in general, there really is this wide spectrum of people, and those without any critical thinking skills definitely have their own spot on the spectrum, maybe on the lowest 5% region (or however much it is in reality, it's just a rough estimate), and it's definitely possible for them to believe in those crazy things. It's hard work trying to figure out something for yourself, it takes research even for the "smart" people. So the easiest thing to do is, of course, believe what they're told without putting any independent thinking into it. Sorry for the long post, but here's my guess. I'm much more likely to be wrong though, so feel free to correct me.

this right here, I feel you. I feel isolated. most of the time I enjoy being alone, I love time to myself, so I can meditate, do yoga, work on the Truth. but sometimes it just hits me like a tsunami. I feel like the most lonely person in the world. like an alien. and then this strong urge to connect with someone on a deeper level, not even sexually. more like talking, sharing each other's deepest thoughts, holding each other and cuddling. where does this come from? is it all lack of self-worth and self-love?

@Brimstone Thanks. After about 25 years of personal development, I’ve recently had some glimpses into. . . I don’t know what to call it. . . Yet listening to Leo, Rupert Spira and Ananta Kranti speak of nonduality, I’m like “yea, ir’s kinda like that.” That kind of talk used to drive me crazy. I’d think “Just explain it in plain English!”. Now, relating to people feels odd. There’s like a familiar dual perspective with language. Then, this nondual whatever. So many things seem important and meaningful from my dual perspective, yet there is a singularity from nondual perspective. It’s almost like flipping between two different languages. Or, English and some alien sixth sense of just being like everything else, without thought or talk. It feels awkward at times.

@Visionary I don't know but the information is there for sure. It's hard to find it though and collect and reassemble the missing puzzle pieces. This is not a topic to skim over superficialy, this is extremely deep, so determination and a lot of information to process is a must. http://in5d.com/the-14-tablets-of-enki-the-anunnaki/ https://ancientexplorers.com/blogs/news/sumerian-texts-do-these-tablets-reveal-secrets-about-alien-life http://www.ancient-origins.net/human-origins-folklore/origins-human-beings-according-ancient-sumerian-texts-0065 Found the some info mentioned by RA on YouTube.

It's not a bad terminology to describe the group and it's purpose. The underlying belief that we're entering some kind of 'new age' where all of our intellectual underpinnings are just shams and conspiracies. Personally I don't resonate with the new age movement. They've hit on some truths, but only through luck. It's not hard when you don't examine any idea critically. At the same time, they throw away any knowledge or wisdom that is considered conventional simply because it's... well... conventional. Conventional wisdom is boring, and the new age movement is fixated on exciting theories revolving around aliens, egyptians, solar flares, quantum entanglement, etc. The egyptians built the pyramids through their own ingenuity and we have tons of documented evidence? Boring! They must have used ancient magic and alien technologies, man couldn't possibly have figured it out themselves! So they've really thrown the baby out with the bathwater. They do a great service by questioning conventional wisdom, but if you're going to do that you also need to think critically about 'new age' theories and this is where they fall short of hitting the mark.

This picture would look super interesting from an alien's perspective after seeing tons of planets just bare, then this! We're so used to it but if we didn't know what humans or Earth were, wow!

What I learnt from The Joe Rogan experience 725 and 872 never exclude the possibility that off field people can investigate a topic with much fresher eyes than those who earned their diplomas on it and have already spent years of thinking by using certain information as fact We might miss the elephant in the room because the elephant is the room. Sometimes the evidence for something is so big that it can´t be seen but from a birds eye view. Always consider peoples interests and egos when evaluating their data. people who dedicate their life passionately, patiently and open minded to investigation are more likely to discover something ground breaking keep up with a theory, even if it gets rejected by the mainstream scientists until you have gathered overwhelming facts from a variety of sources if a widely accepted theory gets questioned then the proposer of a new theory will very likely be ignored and/or be labelled with some title that will leave him/her stigmatized us untrustworthy (therefore always give information from field outcasts a chance) only because a theory contains an element/event that reminds of/would support some other theory/myth that is associated with lies and dogma, that does not mean the element/event did not take place/is not possible or true myths can contain information of real historical events embedded in a made up story with anthropomorphic characters of various interests and intentions standing in for forces and phenomena that are easier to remember and understand that way highly symbolic art can give hints about historical values and events oh and... Even if such an exciting idea as pre astronautism occurs we should not close our eyes in front of some rather simple answer like part of humanity having developed more into the technological direction than another long before we did. This behaves like religion or the elephants on the turtle... Even though aliens are nice elephants and turtles... It´s all us once again (but since I can never be sure and I will leave room for more possible alien or not mind blows in the future). ... Looks like the attachment that people have with their work or at least the hours spent learning and repeating and teaching and shaping, possibly draining pride from knowing, theories that they have accepted as facts makes their egos unlikely to throw away their fixed historical world view (you don´t say Anna...). The interesting part is that this identification is (for now) so deep in most, if not all of the mainstream scientists that we might have to wait until that entire generation dies off until the new evidence and theory starts getting evaluated and taken seriously. The quantity of people who are ignorant, purposefully or not, to this really compelling amount of data about something as basal and big as a topic like the origins of human civilisation and possible future gives me a reminder of the dark ages of humanity I live in. If we don´t know the truth about something of this size then what other answers have we overseen and how long will it take until there is a global acceptance towards them? ... If learning equals behaviour change then knowing about the flood which the melted ice and rainfall caused, which again the comet caused, does not just mean that I have to start thinking and talking about history taking this into account but actually try to do something about the meteorites/comets that might repeat this whole disaster in the future. I am obviously not interested in the construction of weapons to fight each other but if we need some armour to defend life on earth itself I think I´m in the boat... Or at least raising consciousness about this.

1. Is your experience of mind becoming more alone? Even when you are *cough* "with people"? I feel like I am all that exists. 2. Is your subjective intake of reality natural? Are you letting this moment speak for itself? Totally neutral, unless stressed into a less-conscious response. 3. Have you started to relate to people you knew differently? Yes. I’m more compassionate and less egotistical. 4. Have you stopped chasing actualized.org and Leo Gura for the "grand prize of the self-actualized, purposeful life"? Yes. The best thing I can do for myself is to let go. I do pretty good even without the false sense of control. 5. Are you feeling more alien to conventional society, how it works , and seen as a disease to the one who seeks to abide in truth? Not really, because that’s all conceptual. The only thing that exists is the moment. But yeah, you gotta watch your intake portals. Garbage in, garbage out. 6. Have you reached the point where " information put in spotlights " ---- (I refer to) books, movies , the news , teachings of spiritual leaders, pop culture and most importantly actualized.org.... are given the skeptical lens ... as that which has yet to stand the testing with (your) subjective experience of this moment ? I don’t need any more teachings. The only teaching is to stop trying to control. You do need to review materials daily to keep you keen on noticing the tricks of the mind though, so you do need theory work and review in enlightenment practice. The mind will fog up your clear lenses, so you gotta wipe the mist off everyday. You don't just become permanently enlightened. The mind is always there trying to interfere. This is why constant mindfulness is so important in enlightenment practice. 7. Has your heart started to burn with the desire of rising beyond the baseline human condition ... aka your reality of now ? Have you started to actively test the theory you study with direct experience aka NOW ? I am totally content in the moment. 8. Have your actions been purified with the fire of awareness such that if you set out to do something ...that it is YOU...wholeheartedly who is doing it ..... not some conceptual, emotional, physical product of your society that's been told to follow an authority ? Yes. I am letting go of control and seeing through the tricks of the mind. The most important teaching of enlightenment is that self-control is an illusion. You do have a certain indirect self-control through mindfulness and Awareness. The higher your Awareness, the better the dream gets for you. But never think you are part of the dream. You are Awareness of the dream. And Awareness alone is curative. Relevant video to watch:

1. Is your experience of mind becoming more alone ? Even when you are *cough* "with people" ? 2. Is your subjective intake of reality natural ? Are you letting this moment speak for itself ? 3. Have you started to relate to people you knew differently ? 4. Have you stopped chasing actualized.org and Leo Gura for the "grand prize of the self-actualized,purposeful life" ? 5. Are you feeling more alien to conventional society, how it works , and seen as a disease to the one who seeks to abide in truth ? 6. Have you reached the point where " information put in spotlights " ---- (I refer to) books, movies , the news , teachings of spiritual leaders,pop culture and most importantly actualized.org.... are given the skeptical lens ... as that which has yet to stand the testing with (your) subjective experience of this moment ? 7. Has your heart started to burn with the desire of rising beyond the baseline human condition ... aka your reality of now ? Have you started to actively test the theory you study with direct experience aka NOW ? 8. Have your actions been purified with the fire of awareness such that if you set out to do something ...that it is YOU...wholeheartedly who is doing it ..... not some conceptual,emotional, physical product of your society that's been told to follow an authority ? Note :- I myself am not immune to the traps of the conditioned human living. These are questions which I find instill consciousness in me.

I agree. @DawnOfReality Values and beliefs can get entangled. Use mindful observation and allow yourself some time. I wrote down my list of values several months ago and, after having enlightenment experiences, it looks like something a small alien child wrote. I don't care about it at all. (Haven't done the LP course, so if he is offering a process that alleviates that problem, my apologies.)

God to me is not a person sitting in the cloud. God is everything, we are his organs and part of him as much as he is us. Most religious books have a good attempt at trying to explain what God could be, in the end these books are there to make us live in more harmony, peace and "make us feel that someone is watching". By rejecting or not believing in stories written (by and) in the language of men that there is someone watching over us all we are not completely lost, because together we derive meaning and a better world. God to me is love, for creation is the act of keeping something alive and in the end love is our ultimate goal and what makes us human stick together. It is love that makes us wander through maya and samsara, with a smile even though the world sometimes feel like an alien or wicked place. God is the now, he is present always everywhere and on your screen right now. God doesn't have any identity but manifests as all at once. I believe that becoming enlightened or finding peace within, reflects some devine qualities that are even seen without any intellectual reasoning. To become enlightened is to find peace, to be in love with the now and to radiate this in the fullest potential because no man can let this appearance slip from his sight. Love, peace, feelings, contentment for anything that arise.

I don't understand your quibbling with my word-choice. It's a distinction without a difference to me. If you had two good legs, would you believe that shooting one of them off would help you walk better? This is what we do with morality. It's the Egoic Illusion trying to judge and control Nature. And it's a big cause of suffering. The Ego uses polarities like moral good and bad to give the illusion of control and the illusion of existence. Being just is. Imagine two alien (as in non-human) video-game characters that were programmed with a completely arbitrary sense of right and wrong. How would you regard that code of morality? Would you see it as applicable to your life in anyway? What if you experienced some trauma that caused you to start judging yourself based on that video-game moral code one day, and all your actions caused you to feel like a total piece of shit. Wouldn't that be unfortunate? Right and wrong does the same thing to us. The Ego doesn't exist -- but all those emotions are registered by Being. So, morality, right and wrong, and good and bad, are just Ego-Smog; and they kick up a lot of neurotic, often painful feelings -- aka suffering. Video on point to watch:

I've always considered myself a "seeker". I have read many self-help books, participated in lots of "spiritual" retreats, meditation groups etc. I've had countless conversations/debates on politics/philosophy/religion/science. I'm a professor and I'm "safe" in my head. I've had ups and downs, yet never have I felt like I was mentally unstable or insane. Until now. I'm wondering if some people might have had similar experiences here and how to cope with it. A year ago, I started using psychedelics in "my search". I've gone to the ego-death zone several times - each time there was anxiety/fear about letting go and surrendering. Last June in Peru, I did my first and only Ayahuasca retreat. The second ceremony had terrifying moments as my ego struggled to maintain control and steer the experience. My ego realized it would lose and it couldn't stop the experience. I almost went into a full-on panic. Time had no meaning and I thought it would be like this forever. There were also moments where the ego seemed absent. There were lessons about fear and insecurity. Other-wordly visions. The music was angelic. At times, my "self" seemed to float through and there was anxiety again. There were times I did not know what was real and I didn't know if I had gone insane and if I would ever return. There was a recurring thought like: "It's OK, in four hours the Aya will wear off and I'll be back and things will be normal again". It's like "I" was trying to run out the clock . Overall, there were some beautiful moments and lessons, yet I was really shaken up. I thought I could never do that again and I only drank a half cup of Aya at the 3rd and final ceremony. I have not used psychedelics in high doses since. Most of my trips have been light/moderate. There is awe, fascination and curiosity. The high dose trips have had anxiety regarding not being able to tell what is real, that I could lose control or if I had gone insane. I've always been able to talk myself down with "this isn't real, in a few hours everything will be back to normal". A month ago, I was watching Sam Harris videos on how Free-Will is an illusion. There was a moment outside my intellect where I "got it". My ego, my "self", doesn't have control *even when I'm normal and sober*. Something else does. I'm stone sober and the anxiety comes. I'm not in control and I don't know what will happen. I can't make this stop. It felt like the terror of the Aya ceremony. I didn't know what was real and if I had gone insane. Yet unlike the Aya ceremony, it will NEVER stop. There is no "return to normal". I will never be in control. There was actually the thought of "You could stop it by killing yourself". I don't know if that referred to killing the ego or my body. Yet, I felt insane and mentally unstable. Then, I got online and starting discussing free-will. I got back into my head to conceptualize. People told me things like "nothing has changed, you've lived your whole life this way fine". I started feeling better. A couple days ago, I watched Leo's video on Free-will. I liked the part about how life flows better when one recognizes free-will is an illusion. I thought "hey, this is actually a positive". Today my "I am the observer" concept crumbled. For 25 years, this has been a secure concept for me. I was unable to create a new concept and realized there was some type of reality I couldn't describe with words. I realized there is something about awareness, observation and reality in my immediate environment that I don't understand and can't understand. I leave my office and a colleague walks by me in the hallway. What is he? Is he some machine? An alien? Part of me? Can he sense what's going on inside of me? If it really is true that my concepts are not "the truth" he could be anything and anything could happen. I feel anxiety as I don't seem to have my normal framework of reality and control. I try to act "normal" and go to the bathroom for 5minutes to collect myself. Then, I thought it may help to write about it on this forum. I'm feeling more settled down as things are starting to feel "back to normal" again. Yet, I have a foreboding sense - since I know there is "not normal" out there. These are the only two sober panic/anxiety attacks I have had in my life. Both came on non-intellectual realizations that my "self" is an illusion and not in control. For 25 years, self-improvement and actualization has been fun and games. Yet, recently this shits got real and I've had two moments in the last month where I felt insane and terrified - *sober*. Can new levels of consciousness seem like insanity? It has felt somewhat like a psychedelic trip. Part of me is like, "Go with the flow, Let go and surrender. No need to fear finding your true self and what is real". Another part of me is like "DUDE, this is your life we are talking about. You do not want to end up in an insane asylum. Stop this shit". . . I do want to find truth and continue, yet right now it feels intense and I just want to slip back into "normal" and rest for a bit.

Nah homie, it's genuinely not ego at all. I'm in an amazing mood and I'd love for magic alien crystals to be real. I'M READY TO BELIEVE. Please prove this shit so I can dedicate my whole life to gatherings jew jew rocks, woo woo crystals, and other interdimensional trinkets. My body is ready.

"How to divine your fuel" LMAO, it's looks like a parody, but it's not. There are legit ways of extending fuel efficiency, but based on my 30 seconds of looking at the video it's some kind of crystal magical alien technology? Let me guess, it hasn't been tested by an independent group of completely impartial researchers, right? Right. Ok, go home with this wacky cartoon shit, you're drunk.

I found some interesting stuff on Aliens a few days ago. I like how it's integrated with enlightenment so I thought I would share here. This is about a man that channels an alien named Bashar. http://www.spherebeingalliance.com/ This is information from Bashar, and alien that was channeled through a human being and this is the advice he gave on existence...enlightenment etc. It seems to resonate with what Leo is teaching here on actualized.org http://iasos.com/metaphys/bashar/ The basic Blueprint of the Structure of Existence The 5 Basic Laws of Creation These 5 Basic Laws are true Everywhere/Everywhen in the universe - including ALL dimensions. 1 You exist. (I AM) 2 Everything is Here/Now. 3 The All is one, and the One is all. 4 What you put out is what you get back. 5 The only constant in the universe is change - except for the first 4 postulates, which never change. 1 You exist. (I AM) If you exist now, your existence is eternal: You have always existed and you always will exist. You may change form, but you are existing always . So.....relax.....you'll be around forever. 2 Everything is Here/Now. Time and Space are illusions. (But your experiences within Time/Space are "real".) There is only Here/Now. 3 The All is one, and the One is all. Just as each tiny section of a hologram contains the information for the entire hologram, likewise we are all inter-connected. Everything is truly just one totally-interconnected "thing". 4 What you put out is what you get back. The "outside" is a reflection of the "inside". Physical reality is actually a mirror: Your physical reality is just a holographic reflection of what you most strongly believe to be true. And like a mirror, physical reality will not change unless you change first (change what you most strongly believe). 5 The only constant in the universe is change - except for the first 4 postulates, which never change. So.....might as well get used to eternally-changing Creation. Enjoy the ride! Surf the changes! The Meaning of Life, and The Purpose of Existence Existence is Eternal - without beginning. Therefore Existence existed BEFORE the concept of "purpose" or "meaning" came into being. Therefore, Existence does not need to have any particular "purpose" or "meaning" to justify its existence. It simply is. In other words, the Infinite Creator set it all up as a blank slate (tabula rasa), so that YOU can superimpose absolutely ANY "meaning" or "purpose" that you wish. So, to be technically accurate, the universe is "meaningless". But this is a good thing! It is truly a blessing! The Infinite Creator has given YOU free will, so that you can now use your free will, to superimpose absolutely ANY "meaning" of life, or "purpose" of existence that you wish! (Side Note: see Neutral Props)

@Azrael It sounds like you're still "going places", which is more content within awareness. To me there is a difference between visiting other realities vs penetrating the essence underlying all realities. The trouble with psychedelics is precisely that they can alter the content of awareness so much that one gets distracted by the alien-ness of the new content, missing the Absolute. Next time you trip, I suggest really setting the intention to ignore all the content changes, focusing exclusively on the raw nature of the Absolute. That's probably hard to do on mushrooms, because they tend to be twisted. Interesting trip though.

Guys, feel free to ask any questions. I thought of some: - Did you get enlightened? Definitely no. My monkey-mind got extremely crazy up to a point that I was literally risking my life. I got so in such with my solar plexus chakra (which is responsible for "will-power") that I simply I understood the power I have within me. (Which is absolutely infinite). Do you understand this? It's fucking infinite! Think of quantic physics. It is like a mirror, spreading infinitely outward and inward. We are part of this vortex. If having this insight means "getting" enlightened, so, yes I got. But only AFTER psychedelics. But really, don't take this enlightenment has some woo-woo concept. Enlightenment is the fundamental basis of Reality. What really helped cut through the ego was the down-right exposure. It was so freakin' intense, dude! I confronted my biggest fear EVER. You wouldn't believe if I told you. Anyway... I suppose I had a rude awakening experience. And this Alert state varies throughout the day. It is really cool. Sometimes I think I lost it, but then... BAM! Here it is again. - How did your family react? It was so fucking hard. I was acting like a 5-year-old. I was SUPER rebel. And I was very rude also. I live with my sister, grandma, and sister. Dude, meditation is a woo-woo thing in Brazil, and they even made fun of me. It was really hard to put up with other people during that time. Not just my family, but, really, almost everybody. I dived so deep internally and I got so acquainted with how the mind works that at some point all that big fucking structure COLLAPSED. Haha. It is a daily challenge to keep my individuality as a spiritual seeker and don't get lost in the concrete jungle, if you know what I mean. Hihi. - What tips do you have? Well, my meditation sessions were kinda sloppy. Hehe. But it kinda felt good to just sit there and do nothing. Just think, think, fantasize. And really engage in all that mental masturbation. But at some point I saw how I was becoming highly unpresent when I was doing meditation. I don't know, it was as if I couldn't relax, you know? Well, I was really having a DEEP spiritual purging. > Be aware of Spiritual Purging They're real. If you do the do-nothing, your mind will come up with all sorts of fantasies. It is really crazy how it is possible to actually let go of all control. And just let the mind think the most HORRIFIC things. This includes having sex with an alien, the taste of shit, and ways to kill yourself. I am being serious here. This is not funny. It can be terrifying, if you have a weak mind. So... > Strengthen your Mind You probably have a very sloppy mind. You are always in your comfort zone. Well, that's how the mind is designed. Haha, crazy, huh? We do not need our survival instincts on, so really 99% of your fears simply do not make any logical sense. It is absurd. Utter Absurd. That's what the mind is an Utter Absurd. Haha > Be more Playful Dude, you can get enlightened today, but really why do you look so hard? (I am telling this to myself). Even if I allegedly get this final A-ha, this total samadhi. So what? I will be dead very soon, and what I will take away from this life are moments of true sincerity and sharing. "Repeat after me: Life is a shit if you take it seriously. Fuck positivity. Fuck other people. Fuck society. Amem." Praise the Lord!!! Oh Hallelujah! Let's go Gospel! Hahahaha Cheers from São Paulo <o>

I found two great songs by a little-known musician named Stuart Davis. One of them is featured in the Audiobook Kosmic Consciousness with Ken Wilber, which I will put a review of later. Ladder The first song is called "Ladder." It's a lovely song about our personal and species-wide evolution and the natural clash with psychological entropy. That is, as we grow more complex as individuals and as a species, we also have more stuff that can topple us. I've got brains like antique floors I built each one on the one before I use all three but they don't agree One of them wants to love you Another one would love to club you I guess my old natures move like glaciers Chorus: The fish became a lizard The shrew became an ape Will the ape become an angel? The higher that we climb The more the ladder sways I'm the bastard child the one who got the head of Einstein and the soul of Pol Pot there's no compassion but I can split the atom Better give me a microscope for a different eye Better give me a telescope for the inward sky and a ladder leading up from Eden Chorus If Ramana Maharshi came from clay there's more to evolution than a little DNA Cut off the moorings to the inward ark Aiming it into a question mark The fish became a lizard The shrew became an ape will the ape become a Mother Teresa? She came from clay There's more to evolution than a little DNA Personal Commentary: Ladder bases itself off of the integral idea of Holarchy. Holarchies are made out of Holons. A holon refers to the something being both a whole and a part with no actual distinction between itself and other whole/parts other than arbitrary measures. Each holon is a system (or phenomenon) that is an evolving self-organizing dissipative structure, composed of other holons, whose structures exist at a balance point between chaos and order. Higher level holons are always at a more precarious position than lower level holons. This goes for physical objects, ecological systems, psychological stages, social organizations, and even spiritual development. With reference to holarchical human development, Alan Watts serves to help us see the issue: "how is man to be best related to his environment? Especially in circumstances where we are in possession of an extremely powerful technology and have, therefore, the capacity to change our environment far more than anyone else has ever been able to do so. Are we going to end up not by civilizing the world, but by Los-Angelizing it? In other words, are we going to foul our own nest as a result of technology? But all this gets down to—the basic question is, really, what are you going to do if you’re god? If, in other words, you find yourself in charge of the world, through technological powers, and instead of leaving evolution to what we used to call, in the 19th century, the blind processes of nature—that was begging the question, to call them blind—but at any rate, we say, we’re not going to leave evolution to the blind forces of nature but now we’re going to direct it ourselves. Because we are increasingly developing, say, control over genetic systems, control over the nervous system, control over all kinds of systems; uh then, simply, what do you want to do with it?" This song responds to Watts inquiry by pointing out that Perhaps there is a universal Telos. That there is a point to all of this and the despite the hemming and hawing and guffawing that we know as human violence and suffering, it works out in the end such that we become the gods that oversee us. We made a universe that is perfect for ourselves, despite seeming otherwise. Creating Heaven is Heaven. Watts echoes this sentiment at the end of his own lecture. What is your idea of heaven? What would you really like to have happen, if you could make it happen? That’s the first thing that really starts people thinking because you soon realize that a lot of the things you think you would want are not things you want at all. Supposing, just for the sake of illustration, that you had the power to dream every night any dream you wanted to dream. And you could, of course, arrange for one night of dreams to be seventy-five years of objective time, or any number of years of subjective time, what would you do? Well, of course, you’d start out by fulfilling every wish. You would have routs and orgies and uh uh all the most magnificent food and uh sexual partners and everything you could possibly imagine in that direction. When you got tired of that, after several nights, you’d switch a bit, and find yourself involved in adventures, and uh contemplating great works of art, fantastic mathematical conceptions; you would soon be rescuing princesses from dragons, and all sorts of things like that. And then one night you’d say, now look, Tonight what we’re gonna do is, we’re going to forget this dream is a dream. And we’re going to be really uh shocked, and when you woke up from that one you’d say, ‘Oooh, wasn’t that an adventure!’ ----- Nothing In Between The second song is called Nothing in Between. It is a wonderful tome about Nothingness, aka God. There is nothing in between us when we sleep Every night the bliss begins to leak Nothing in between us when we laugh it’s something that our head will never grasp It’s seen in between There’s nothing in between your joy and mine It’s all a lot of nectar on the vine Joy is how my parents were entwined and there’s nothing in between their lives and mine We’ve seen There’s nowhere to hide in the open Reality Love is so wide, there isn’t a boundary There is only one eye without any enemy when you’ve seen in between There’s nothing in between our skin and light Nothing in between the wind and kite Nothing in between our lips and grace Nothing in between the tongue and taste It’s seen (Refrain) There is nothing in between you and I Nothing in between blue and sky Nothing in between us and love Nothing in between wings and doves (Refrain) There is nothing in between Personal Commentary: This song struck me as a great way of pointing to non-distinction. This morning as I meditated using Headspace, I was instructed to feel that the center of creativity deep in my heart. I was then asked to extend my awareness of that center past my chest and to my whole skin. From there I was asked to expand this awareness to the walls around me. From there I extended it to my whole apartment complex... The City of LA... Earth... The Solar System... The Galaxy... The Virgo Cluster... The Laniakea SuperCluster... The whole Observable Universe that seems to form a universal Brain/mind complex... Then I pushed further - I asked what would be beyond that -- where is that universal brain? And I kept pushing outwards to see the next order of fractalization... and what came up was me! That is, I saw that cosmic brain complex residing in my own head or another version of me or maybe an alien or maybe some computer who itself resides in some version of the city of LA which is itself on some version of earth... And so on for all of eternity outwards. And so on for all of eternity inwards as well! Which is to say, I can't describe it as One because it has no end or beginning to its outwardness and inwardness. And to call something one, it must reach an outward and inward end. I could call it zero because it has no ground, but it's clearly here and now. " _____?!?!NOTHING?!?!______ " is all I that can be said about it. There's me = you = everything, which breaks down into ____!?nothing?!?!____ upon further investigation. There's ___!?!nothing?!?____ between physical material and conscious object. There's ___!?!nothing?!?_____ between past and future. It all happens Now - the only place that remains Absolutely unchanged EXCEPT that its also Absolutely Relative as proven by Einstein. There's ___!?!nothing!?___ between me and you. There's just ____!?!nothing??!___ between anything. There is no distinction. There no such thing as a thing-without-some-other-thing which means that there is No thing-other-than-the-whole-thing which means I cannot point to any-one-thing as-itself in-and-of-itself other than ___!?!nothing?!?____ . This is the Holarchical perspective. ---- Putting the ideas of both songs together we can intuit a holarchical ladder with nothing in between. We see an universe of other universes with no part distinct from other parts as it builds itself and destroys itself at the same time - Now - in a fashion that is relative to the timeline of each observer. This universe would: know all from a wide perspective and it would know all from a limited perspective - the one "we" see out of in our everyday understanding. Indeed, in knowing all it would know what it is like to not-know it all. It is from each one of these limited perspectives that the wide perspective gets generated. The manifestation of such wide perspective gives universal purpose. It would be a wild adventure.

Hi there fellow actualizers. I am writing this message because I am two selves going in opposite directions. And it seems that this is what the self-actualization path is all about. Today the void has been calling me strongly. It wants me to go yet it wants me to fill it. (also known as resistance) WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT VOID???? HUH? There comes a time in a man's life when nothing fills it anymore. All the drugs and pussy and love and justice and entertainment and alcohol and happiness and whatever else you can come up with will not fill it. It just gets bigger and bigger the more you try. You have this insane rush gathering and gathering. The urge to go for a quick hit of dopamine, serotonin and all those chemical cocktails we have become addicted to from birth because we have been conned into a game of survival when the truth is that life is just another phase of death and vice versa. Is this what it feels like to be a woman? You drink and smoke and eat and fuck and pump it up and burn it and freeze it and dive in with the sharks and lions and volcanoes and at some moments you get an immense relief. Shelter from the storm, as Bob Dylan called it. You are broken and freezing and dirty and full of hate and lies and you've raped and murdered and bombed children and whipped yourself with a razor belt and you've hijacked planes and driven them into skyscrapers. The void. You want to allow it and let it go and forgive and surrender to all this madness and all the voices and you are lost and hopeless and you smile and start to laugh hysterically. Just let go. Release. All of it. The pain. The joy. The "trying to figure out" why they did it and why she has to die and comforting others with some bullshit buddhist advice that you don't even believe in yourself. You never wanna miss an opportunity of stepping up as the wise one. No sir! Those answers are never found. Just brutal suffering. You used to think that this is what makes everything beautiful. The kinder you are born, the more intense the suffering. It takes a lifetime of failure and seeing the illusions life has to offer to learn to suffer with kindness, that is the ultimate gift. You walk around this palace of lies. Orgies everywhere. Your friends and family just want to relax from work. Buy some new clothes and dream of a better life but their smiles have faded and this makes you sad because you are just starting to get this shit and really coming alive. So what the fuck does that imply? That as you ascend to the Gods, all the people you love will drown in hell, waiting for you to rescue them but no longer convinced that anything is possible?? What the fuck kind of cruel twisted lullaby is that? You walk around the cities and parks of the world. Stare at birds and flowers and old ladies with their monk-like dumbness and you want to just tell them to keep on living in their bubble because.... i forget what i wanted to say. Am i an alien? Is that it? Can we really be the same species with all these hum-ants? I never wanted this fucking awareness shit. I wanna be a happy slave. Willingly bend over and take it up the ass like a good little school girl. So yeah. Hi. Life is getting better, it is. Figuring out what my values are. But I'm an addict and you know what they say, never trust an addict. It's like I really wanna be depressed but my newfound wisdom just says "thoughts and feelings" that's all there is. Depression is another dumb idea for losers who want to just stay where they are in life. It's a clever disguise. Being depressed implies that your are somebody that is something. We all know that there's no substance to anything at all. Just a dynamic movement of random reactions and things hunting other things to stay alive. Lights and sounds, all around. You try to meditate outside but all of the machines and insects start to sound like symphonies. What a fucking distraction. It's hard to find some proper silence these days. The more closer you get, it's like some prick is turning up the volume of the "hum" or "om". You're way past going to see someone for this. You will traumatize those bastards. You can go in anytime. Into It !! Different paths and approaches: kindness, calm, humor, yoga of the moment... you can dance like a madman and feel the void in its entirety. Right here right now anytime any place. I don't give a fuck if its the presidents funeral. When the void calls, you better be ready boy. That's the real challenge and I KNOW it's waiting for me. I'm procrastinating. Money, sex, travel, happiness, business, art, writing, reading... I was gonna add Leo's course to that list but actually that's one of the few things that seem to really be taking me towards the void. And it's scary. It's hard work. All these value assessments and shit. God damn it. I just thought i wanted money and pussy. Not "love" and "truth" and "beauty". But i knew what this was about when signed up for this shit. I enlisted in the greatest army there is. They love young handsome soldiers like me. Leo recruits them young. What the hell man. Can i throw up the red pill and pretend we never met? (puts finger down throat) Hahahahahahaaaaaa (vomit of laughter) "Best joke i've heard all year." That's like asking to be unborn. To press rewind and go back to .... The void. It's inescapable. Waiting for you to shut all this bullshit off. The darkness. The silence. The light. It's waiting for you. Legs spread wide open. Rock hard. The king of all pleasure and pain and sorrow. There's a bloody hell of a revolution to crawl through to even get out of the prison. You fight the war and kill all your enemies and then find your people dead and see the enemy boss in the mirror. Takes another sip of some shitty disgusting beer. Ugh. Even jerked off twice today. I want more. MORE MORE MORE MORE. And the headache. Aaa. God let me just fucking be. I dont want to face anything. I want to keep on running away from reality and intoxicating myself and staying here with all these good hearted people who keep me down. You must continue. Stay strong brother. You have come this far. JUST. KEEP. GOING. I wish i still knew how to cry hard.

Machine Elves are a Terence McKenna thing. As much as I love the guy (see my signature), I never read much into his ramblings (for lack of a better word) about machine elves. Here is a YouTube video of McKenna explaining his "Self-Transforming Machine Elves" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vH4UdX2D5sY I have read The Teachings of Don Juan and just grabbed his second book A Separate Reality over the weekend! Found it at my local flea market from a lady named "Willow" who sells all kinds of cool metaphysical stuff lol. Thanks Willow! I also wanted to comment that during my first DMT experience, I found myself sitting at the feet of a giant African warrior (as best as I can describe) tall and skinny wearing an ovalish (almost alien head-shaped) mask with iridescent tribal designs covering it. The giant placed his hands on his knees and squatted down and leaned in as if to get a better look at me. As he brought his masked face closer to mine, I saw other little tribal warriors hiding behind the designs in the mask, popping their heads up to show themselves and for them to get a better look at me. I felt like they were his children. Must've been "take your child to work day" in dimension-transcending African warrior spirit guide land! What a concept! I must say that these visions might have been influenced by the music I was listening to during this experience, which was Shpongle, who have a world music mixed with psytrance sound. Every song is a masterpiece, but I digress. I love the concept of your chamber of solitude! it's great to have a dedicated space for tripping and/or meditation (which are synonymous to me nowadays) I took 52.8 FRESH grams (equivalent to 5.28 dried grams) on Saturday and let go so much that I couldn't control my bladder. It was so "bothersome" (more like demanding of my attention) That I wished I knew how to put a catheter in myself lol. I laid in my bed for the majority of my experience with a bucket next to my bed and got naked and would just sit up and let my body rid itself of the toxins through my urine ( my urine was cloudy and yellow) I would sit up every ten-fifteen min a pee just a little bit, over and over and over again. After this experience I decided to give serious attention to learning how to make tincture, as I believe the mushroom tissue was giving me these negative side effects, and not the psilocybin/psilocin itself. Anyway, without turning this into a trip report, I just wanted to put my speculative two cents in that I've seen entities on mushrooms and DMT and that alone is enough for me to be open to the idea that they are "real" (define that word as you will) I love you guys

I dropped college today, because I don't think it is right for me in this point in time. I am starting to feel like an alien from everybody. I really don't care about anything anymore. Everything feels meaningless and empty. I wish I could just fall asleep or wake up.

@Principium Nexus be careful to share this video with us. I researched a little bit about this Nazca alien. it seems to be fake. Lately some hobby scientists make dokus about alien stuff in peru . There was found an alien hand some month before from this pseudo science group (this was fake, it were just human bones ordered new so that it looks like an alien hand). This is not real science, they just want to make some money with this fake alien (for updates in this project you need to pay...).