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Hello everyone. Recently I finished what is in my opinion the best series on earth. However, besides that this is the second time I have finished it, I have this empty and sad feeling. I miss watching that show now. I miss the characters, the fun, the plot. I am sad because I’ve already seen it. This might sound irrational for some people, but this also effects me in other ways. I have no motivation to do anything at all. Be it making homework, talking with family or friends online or working on something. I don’t experience joy anymore. I feel depressed. Didn’t really know where to put this. I think the “Serious Emotional Problems” sub-forum isn’t meant for these types of posts. I am posting this because it also brings back older thoughts and emotions about ending my life. I keep having the idea of just ending it. I will no longer experience that kind of legendary bliss again, and currently with quarantine I’m stuck with tons of homework and school assignments. I hate my teachers. Everything seems so depressing and sad compared to the joy I had watching that series. Maybe I went a bit off-topic there, but I hope someone can help me. I am currently focussing on meditation to help my mind calm down.

How I feel depends on the moment you ask.. sometimes peaceful, sometimes agitated, sometimes happy, sometimes worried; fulfilled and content or still searching for something, lonely or feeling bliss.. it's a constant roller-coaster. But that which I really Am does not change

I have been realizing the nature of God. A little background, I have been hardcore meditating and training with energy since I was 14 (on average 2-6 hrs a day). I am 21 now, things are starting to open up and unlock within my consciousness. i have experience with psychedelics and have been deepening my awakening lately. I have been feeling God lately, within myself and within everything. I will go into states of utter bliss and love randomly, usually when I meditate, but tears will come gushing out of my eyes, and I feel the undercurrent of reality swiftly catapulting throughout my whole existence and everything. I will have the biggest smile on my face, when I tap into it, and see "the eyes of god" everywhere, as if i was hallucinating on DMT or LSD. My theory (which is proven) is that my brain is now producing its own batches of N-N-DMT and 5 MeO-DMT, after many years of hardcore work and training. My pineal gland is where I feel my energy peak at, all of it is focused there, when I go into these states. I can't help but smile, cry, and laugh, all at once, looking at everything, knowing it is God, and that it is me. The blades of grass, the sunshine, the trees, all me, and all God. I have had "awakenings" in the past, but nothing like what is occurring now, this is next level stuff. I know I have to go deeper into these states, which I am achieving completely sober, solely through activating my own dormant DNA and genetic strands. I have only scratched the surface of this level of consciousness, but I have "hit the jackpot", so to speak, been mining for gold for so many years, but now, I have "hit", what I have been looking for all along. More updates coming soon, as I learn more...

Perfect clarity. "Losing"; "dropping away", becomes a Blissful experience. Continues until there's Nothing left to drop away. Bliss without knowing Non-Bliss. At each turn of the journey, it becomes more "Real".

Yes true. I have found that Leo's video on facets of awakening is pretty accurate as is all of his enlightenment videos from way back when he first started making them. So to me awakening to any of the facets mentioned there is a miracle. He mentions a lot there but here are some of the biggies in my view and ones i have had. But a mystical state to begin with is HUGE even if there are no realizations but just an experience of the Absolute! 1. A state of samadhi in which you become conscious that the self never existed but is being imagined. 2. Becoming Conscious by a state of Samadhi or mystical state in which you realize that you are pure Consciousness directly. 3. Becoming conscious of how all of reality works. 4. Becoming infinity and realizing what Infinity means Similar to 2 in a sense but different. 5. Becoming conscious that you are alone as the Absolute and dreaming all of this. That is the one he called aloneness. I call it Oneness but aloneness also fits. 6. Becoming conscious that Infinity or the Absolute is Love (for me all of my mystical states were just pure bliss and love) So to me to awaken to any of these is a miracle in itself. Yes here i look at these stages as highly advanced and not necessary for God realization. What i mean is you can have direct interaction with God - which is amazing in itself - and realize that oh shit - spirituality is real - and still not realize its you. But then you can also realize that you are God and not call it God at first - maybe you call it Awareness or Consciousness and you realize you are that. To me that's still God realization. it may take time to integrate these realizations as they are massive. Now to be directly conscious of how you are creating reality (how i am creating every hair on my hand for example) and total omniscience is something i have not become conscious of yet - but i am not currently practicing because if i were i would be trying 5-MeO and making it my life purpose as Leo is doing. All of my realizations which I listed above were through meditation and self inquiry. So yes guys this stuff is real...but where Leo is at is extremely advanced. And is not necessary for you to experience God and realize that you are God either of which would be considered miraculous in my book.

It's the desire to transcend suffering that's key, alchemy doesn't refer to turning base metal into gold but suffering into bliss. Enlightenment is that process. No suffering, no enlightenment. There has to be a transformation, there has to be something that actualizes itself for enlightenment to be at all. There's no higher and no lower, each serves the other in strange loop style. Nothing changed in the end, change transformation/no change at all. Duality collapses between self and other, actualization and stagnation.

My theory is that what we call kundalini energy is translated/interpreted by the mind as sex energy, because it both is and it isn't. If God is Love, sex is the most intense expression of Love that most of us imagine, it's sort of where love and survival instincts merge yet are surrendered, are sex and love separate? My awakening had very confusing romantic undertones, felt like can't eat, can't sleep fallen in Love... bliss... but with everything, not one particular person yet no excluding particular people both dead or alive, real or fictional. Felt like a mix between Mary Magdalene, a Disney princess and this. Awakening is pround...ly ridiculous. My guess is that you're starting to translate the Love/ Union aspect of Gods by the subconscious. Just as dreams come up with ridiculous symbols to communicate to us, we ARE those ridiculous symbols. Don't blame your mom, deeply question all of that and all the beliefs and assumptions around it. You can't fix it if you don't take responsibility and you can't take responsibility if you're blaming her, either consciously or unconsciously.

The biggest use I got out of them personaly was having my perception of reality shatter, which made me interested in consiousness work. I do not ascribed any more value to them than that. I also do not believe that any psychedelic experience that I have had in the past had anything to do with how realization is or even feels like. They are not of the same quality, understanding, depth, etc. Also I do not believe that your perception deepens when on psychedelics in the sene that it does when realized. They are simply not the same thing. I am not saying that it is not possible to derive further value from psychedelics with regards to enlightenment, just that i have not been able to. I am not qualified to answer this question. You should ask a psychiatrist. Same as how you recongize your desires for anything else really. The stronger you yearn for liberation, the more of your hours it will consume daily. I should say that I believe desire is a HUGE factor in success with realization. I remeber desiring enlightenment so much that I would dream about it. I would dream that I am liberated and I would feel extreme bliss, like electric fire burning my body but somehow it felt great. Eventually it started bleeding over to the waking state. People usually advise you to pursue your materialistic desires first before pursuing enlightenment, so you know they can never satisfy you. That way your desire for liberation grows significantly. Look inside yourself and see what you really want. If it's money and fame and sex, then I don't think you should be seeking enlightenment before you achieve those things.

Hi all, so yesterday I went on another Magical Mystery Tour with my dear friend Lucy -- and I am more than pleased to report that this time around I once again got treated to the whole five star menu including sweet desert and cheese platter (after a sort-of-underwhelming high dose trip three weeks ago that got me wondering if I might have developed a permanent tolerance against my favorite chemical)! Man, it is quite interesting to see how the quality of these trips is changing over time. It seems that after my super-rapturous ego death experience on 7g of mushrooms two months ago - which felt like a freaking supernova of bliss and love -, I am now able to enter a more sober state of self-transcendence than ever before that allows me to do a sort of level-headed inventory and look at myself from a rather objective outside perspective, almost like a doctor who is scrutinizing one of his patients with a stethoscope, all the while maintaining an attitude of "alright, let's just cut all of the mystical crap for a minute and really take a good look at what exactly is the matter with that strange fellow who claims to be me". Well, that is one side of it. On the other side however, it seems that my LSD trips now have more sexual overtones than ever before. Especially in the early stage of yesterday's trip, it was almost like my repressed and neglected sexual energy came bursting out of its closet, tapped me on the shoulder and said "Hey man, remember me? I am that masculine life force that is boiling inside of you, and I am here to tell you that you better take off the lid and let off the steam before the whole damn kettle blows up right in your face!" Very surprising & interesting. It felt kind of like an invitation to just let go of (the illusion of) control and let the body do what it is itching to do instead of constantly trying to browbeat it into shame and submission. Oh boy, it almost looks like I will have to start approaching girls again after this whole Coronavirus situation is over, lol! Can anyone else relate to that? I would be especially curious to hear if this kind of sexually charged trip experience is specifically a male thing or if some of our fellow female psychonauts on this forum have had similar stuff happening to them under the influence!

Haha a bit of a broad question no? Yes defintely. Yes I have a very active Kundalini in the process of merging with the Sahasrar. Kundalini by itself can grant self-realization. In my case i got realized before complete dissolution of Kundalini. It's doing its work. Yes. Bliss is constant and unbroken. It is also stable and not sposmadic and crippling like how it was initially. There really is no such thing as turyia. Ramana used it as substitute for the enlightened state as opposed to awake, dreaming and sleeping states. The distinctions are all arbitrary. Consioussness is unbroken no matter the mind's state.

How has your life changed after your first experience to this? Has there been an increase in the baseline level of your awareness like what a microdose does? Has your perception got more finer and subtle? Have you had any Kundalini experience and how does it factor in with respect to enlightenment? How do you lead your daily life now? Is the bliss extremely constant and settled now? And are you now at Turiya - the fourth which is beyond the waking, dreaming and sleeping?

@OBEler When i started doing ayahuasca, my second trip was total hell for me, like for eternity, it was the most horrible experience in my life..but im glad i didnt stop cause now after many more ayahuasca ceremonies there is only bliss and heaven. In other words i have learnt how to surrender and trust the Unknown. You need to have unshakable trust in the goodness of It all. No one wants to hurt you, psychadelics are here to help. Im sometimes so conflicted how it is that these chemicals can bring me closer to The Spirit, its insane ..all my life i have searched for mystical experiences and only through psyhadelics i came to know them, it has transformed me completely. Good luck on your journey my friend

The bliss changes quality. In the beginning it is extremely intense and can legitimately incapacitate you. As time goes on it reduces in intensity and becomes a constant, vibrant buzz. You go around most of your day with a pink, flushed face

Yes permanent bliss is feature of realization good luck having thermo nuclear reactor inside and feeling God for most of the day. Lab rat hooked on constant dose of heroin can't compare. What was I thinking with this. ? I can't be God you know I am just ordinary billionaire who likes driving his Lambo.

Read some of the comments above yours. I gave a few demonstrations. A good abstraction is "union with direct experience aka the self". You can hear about enlightenment in books, talks, gurus etc. but learning what it actually is equates to attempting to being who you already are. Some gurus call this "being in the now", and while that term is very wuwu and has lost its meaning since its inception, that basically what boils down to. Only the trick is you cannot be in the now through effort. The effort ironically gets in the way. You have surrender. I don't have a general recommendation. It would depend on the state and level of the seeker. There is no catch all method that works for everybody. Reflect on yourself and identify your shortcomings and try to address those. I honestly believe things like sports, working out, or even medication are quicker routes to feeling good than enlightenment. So is healthy interpersonal relationships, good sex etc. Permenant bliss is an exclusive feature of realization, but approaching enlightenment work with the aim of achieving that is ironically not the correct method. For the most part I advise taking care of the life problems first before pursuing enlightenment. For most people that seems to work out best.

@FoxFoxFox What is it about in your view? Or where can I learn more about it? Also do you have any specific practice recommendations? I do between 30-60 mins of mindfulness meditation per day, but I find I get bored a lot and i'm hoping for a practice that brings something more than just mild relxation. I want vitality, energy, bliss etc. I want to be the best me I can be, and that comes with feeling as good as possible.

@FoxFoxFox I had an enlightenment experience on LSD, where everything in my life made sense. It all clicked me for me. I saw everything I had done in my life had led me to the experience, and it felt like I was getting downloads from a higher being. I felt bliss flowing through me, and it was the greatest moment of my life. But that was a few months ago, and even though I've done a few trips since then I have yet to reach back to that state. My typical practices of meditation are okay at relaxing me, but nothing sober gets me even close to that experience. Thoughts?

forget the labels, have the courage and balls to follow your bliss!

Brief Backstory: I'm 19. The past 6 months I have been on a personal development journey after micro-dosing magic mushrooms and having several *some painful* awakening experiences. I unplugged from my brain and entered into an elevated consciousness/self and I let this higher self take over. I started realizing things about the world. Things that were stealing my energy. I saw that 99% of humans were spiritually asleep. I started meditating, retreating, travelling, connecting to earth, etc. (I opened my third eye.) About 5 days ago I got quite drunk with a friend (once every blue moon). So drunk my third eye LITERALLY SLAMMED SHUT. I've lost connection to higher consciousness. I've plugged back into the Matrix. Reality is now external to me and not in myself. It is material and physical. Quiet. The carnal mind is all that exists to me now. From this position; it is ALL that exists and any other experience is a mental disorder/anomaly. I'm locked in the third dimension and have ego identification. Subject to suffering and survival needs. It's not exactly painful but it's a noticeable downgrade. Back to what it was like a few years ago. I'm wondering if my whole experience was just my brain being distorted from reality or if I genuinely tapped into something beyond the physical. Although the later idea cannot be comprehended from a position of Ego. That's the thing. I 'HAVE' to reason logically that it was a sort of psychotic distortion of reality. It is absolutely freaky how this world works, I'll tell you that. Ignorance is bliss. Can anybody else relate to this or understand?

This post is a little nudge, a tiny encouragement, to explore and be open to a life where you've got Absolutely no stakes in it. A life where you aren't invested in your ideals, your career, your relationship theories, or anything really. You're just an empty vessel, observing and basking in reality. Its a life where, reality just flows absolutely effortlessly. Peace comes effortlessly, Joy comes effortlessly, Love comes effortlessly. Its a life where, what people say, do, think or feel about you, does not bring suffering. Including your boss, your loved one and your favourite spiritual teacher. Its a life where, you don't need to think to get things done. It gets done on its own, and all that happens on your end is watching, observing, enjoying, wondering and appreciating. All of life, from the neighbour next door, to planets in different solar systems, all integrate and flow together, to form the reality you're experiencing. But there's a cost to a life like this. Its a cost that is seemingly big. The cost is: surrendering all of your agendas in life. That means, surrendering your agendas for your career. Surrendering your agendas for your relationships... and most importantly, surrendering your spiritual agenda. What's become very apparent to me, is this magical ability for people to know lots about reality: they may have experienced absolute infinity, lots of Joy, lots of Bliss, lots of Love. They may have seen DMT worlds that are beyond comprehension, even for a respected mystical teacher. Yet, just because they know so much, doesn't mean they've fully embodied and live by the experiences that they've seen. Embodiment is a whole new level of understanding the absolute. You could have a million glimpses, yet would still be infinitely far away from the Truth, if embodiment does not occur. And this is because, its possible to have a full fledged ego, while experiencing deeply radical, deep, highly truthul and profound mystical experiences. This ego is called a spiritual ego, and its prevalent in places that you would never ever expect: Within Sadhguru, Ken Wilber, Mooji, and a whole host of other teachers. That's not to say these teachers are frauds, they certainly aren't. They are deeply wise, courageous and profound people. But they still have egos. And they are not 100% awaken. To truly live a life, full of joy, love and bliss, you need more than mystical experiences. You need more than just experiencing Absolute Infinity, Absolute Love, Absolute Bliss. You even need more than to know these insights and mystical awareness. What you need, and this is the hardest darn thing, is to surrender the ego. Completely. This ultimately means, surrendering your agendas, and to have faith and trust in reality, that if you let go of ALL control, nothing bad will happen. Its really hard to do, because your ego is your life. Its your pride and joy, your most beloved toy. It's given you mystical experiences. Its given you the drive to watch and read all the spiritual teachers that you've read about, and apply their teachings. It might have given you a good relationship, maybe a good career. And now, some weirdo electroBeam, is telling you to drop that thing! And replace it with... Nothing? What if I told you, if you dropped that ego, the world wont cave in, but instead the world will be the exact same as it was before. No you wont stop going to work without the ego, no you wont stop caring for your children and family without it, no you wont stop being nice in your relationships. No you wont turn into a criminal. And no, you won't turn into a vegetable and meditate 24/7. You will be doing the exact same thing you were doing without the ego. The only difference? Doing it with absolute acceptance, love and devotion. And you wont even be doing it, reality will just be playing, and there will just be a watching. And things will be seen, beautiful things, which you didn't see before, because you were too busy being the one that 'does' rather than the entire thing observing what's happening. What are agendas? - plans for the future - how you're gonna convince your boss of a payrise - excuses you're gonna come up with to cover up a white lie you told. - moral justifications for actions in the future - how you're gonna get as enlightened as Leo - how you're gonna experience absolute infinity - what meditation techniques you should do - what spiritual teachers you should listen to and the list goes on and on. Agendas are what you're gonna 'do'. And why you're doing them. electroBeam could be wrong, and you must not believe anything anyone says. But I wonder what would happen if instead of doing things, you decided to do nothing? Absolutely nothing? Are you willing to try and see? Its quite an interesting experiment. Will you turn into a criminal, will you somehow spontaneously do what you were already doing? Or will you spontaneously start doing things better than what you did before? Or will you discover something even more profound. As this is being written, I have no idea what I'm gonna type next. The universe as a whole is creating ever single experience, including typing this message. I have no idea why I'm writing this, who I'm writing this to, and what I'm gonna do next. When I write the word "I", I feel nothing, because there is no investment in the I anymore. Writing I, you, electroBeam, Leo, all the same. And there is no investment in this message. No criticism, complaints, judgements or feelings towards this message will be taken, because I'm as invested in this message, as any other message written in this thread. The writing of this message is literally pure love, not because I'm doing it. Not because I love you. But because the doing of this message is Love itself. Its a very counter intuitive move, to drop all agendas. And the result is just as counter intuitive.

I'd like to provide analogy, you are not quite seeing the reality in front of you as it is, your perception is kinda dusty, its blurred, there are 'layers of dust' on the surface of reality, and it blocks your consciousness. Its a metaphor but accurate one. What you need to do is to penetrate right through this dust and meet reality, consciousness must meet reality, it must bump into reality, into the 'wall' in front of you. Once it is done, once consciousness meets reality - it (consciousness) then immediately starts to awaken and it kinda withdraws from chasing reality, it becomes kinda 'disappointed' with its emptiness, its a good thing actually because it is a starting point for consciousness to reach awakening, to meet itself, its a point when consciousness becomes a player. Its a point when consciousness starts to open up. Its a point where you will feel very subtle kind of love that will present itself as self-sacrificial kind of love which desires to 'renounce'. Or maybe you won't even recognise it, doesn't matter. You don't need to fake it, you only need to meet reality so consciousness can bump into apophatic and empty nature of reality, into the wall which is in front of you. Right now you don't know reality is apophatic and empty coz its all blurred and dusty. And again this bump, this meeting is a starting point for consciousness to awaken, to recognise itself, to turn from sleeper into an active player. Hope you getting metaphors. There are 6 main gestalts through which consciousness is blocked from reaching out to itself: Fear, Hope, Expectation (Waiting), Depression, Despair, Joy (Cheer). They all interlinked. No need in doing anything about ego, no need in destroying yourself, in disappearing, no need in solving a 'problem', no need in solving suffering dilemmas, no need in chasing triumph of awakening, no need in do-nothing and passivity, no need in chasing bliss or even truth. In fact, these things is unlikely to take you to consciousness. This whole thing is not about destroying ego or not-destroying it. Its not about ego at all. Only penetrate through dust to see that this thing in front of you is empty and apophatic. Let consciousness to become disappointed with it, BUT this disappointment is a starting point for consciousness to find real gem - itself.

@zeroISinfinity But love and feeling good is prior to the game. Like if i am miserable person, whatever i do is miserable because i am bring this miserable person with me to whatever i do. Like i do love playing games, always played games my whole life, like 12 hours per day easy because it stimulated me, but now i want to get payed for my hard work. But i'd be lying if i said i just play and I feel LOVE. Love is FELT. I don't feel love when playing, i feel stressed, frustrated etc because game is hard and i'm still learning. So the question is how to find love in the game? I want to bring love to the game. Does that make sense? I agree with you no doubt. If i really LOVED the game challenger would be easy peasy because LOVE is the best i know this. But i also know that MYSELF is in better and worse states before playing, like on LSD a few times i felt like soilder of god, full bliss etc. Like if that solider of god version of RAPTORSIN7 was playing league i would be better no? Compare that version of raptorman to normal version typing right now asking how to get better at game, you probably feel the worry and desperation, This version not so useful at mastering the game. i guess the question is basically: How do i love the game. How does on love??

I went through numerous awakenings and upgrades in the past couple of day. The extra time indoors was more than welcome. I'd like to share a few insights and pointers with you. Perhaps you too are venturing deeper into the unknown, at this time. There are two things that I'm all about when it comes to this "work". One is exploration. The other is embodiment. It's the way I discovered my process of awakening to be unfolding, naturally. For me it's not only about seeing the Light of Truth, but also bringing it into every moment of my experience. Both the "known and seen" and the "unknown and unseen" are doing their job, so to speak. An equal amount of commitment and dedication is shown to both sides of the coin. Everything is equally valid and requires full attention. There is no one thing above the other. There is harmony and cohesion. Cooperation. Communication. Instead of letting all the perspectives I look through conflict, block or negate each - other, I now recognize them all as truthfull views and flawless puzzle pieces that all fit together perfectly. A few days prior to the "big breakthrough"; I felt like I was being called to go in a specific direction. I always pay close attention to the signs and whispers. I knew it was time. I was in for yet another big shift in my baseline consciousness. But... I needed to face my deepest fears first. It was the only way forward. I simply was not able to start embodying higher frequencies of consciousness while still holding onto this fear. And so I gathered my courage and surrendered to the river. Breathing my way through. This big core fear that I was holding onto was felt very intensely during a few rather terrifying experiences that I've had in my past. It was something I feared more than death itself. Even though death was, in a sense, a part of the experience; what came "after death" was beyond anything I could've imagined. And what it was, was a series of ridiculously insane, live paradoxes that literally left me paralyzed and - as it seemed at that time - permanently stoned. I say "live" because it was a direct, real time, full spectrum experience. I literally became the paradox. Reality as a whole was a paradox. Imagine trying to stand up and simultaneously pushing yourself back down. I could do nothing. These experiences were so powerful, shocking and life shattering that I didn't know what to make out of them. I could not comprehend what I've been shown. So I just wouldn't go "in that direction" for a long time. I stayed away. I knew there was something big to be discovered there, but I just did not have the balls. Couldn't handle it. All until now. Turns out; there is no paradox. But in order to see through it, I had to see it clearly, first. And obviously experience it fully, as well. It was "God's masterplan" all along. And so it happened. This time the experience was much less intense. I did not panic as I would in my past. That gave me room for exploration. A few moments of discomfort and I was slowly able to relax into it and "break free". It finally clicked for me. On a level so deep. I became aware of how the paradox was being created. And right there, right then, in that moment... Paradox was no more. WILL was. I felt the fear slowly being released. It was so satisfying. Such a big relief. I just felt so good. At peace. Whole. Centred. And in that state of carefree, effortless being I became aware of quite a few things. I noticed how I was simply unable to experience anything that I was not cultivating in real time. I could not feel good without willingly cultivating a good feeling. Neither could I feel bad without cultivating that. And how I felt instantly attracted perspectives that were a perfect vibrational match. It just became so clear and obvious to me; everything is as I am. Right now. All the time. Over and over again. What I see is what I am. Light. I realized the importance of being in tune with how I feel right now. Being aware of the frequency I'm cultivating. It's as if I was walking backwards all this time. As if I was flying against the wind. Swimming against the current. I was so occupied with "doing things" constantly, forgetting that things do themselves and all I have to do is sit back and cultivate good vibes. I can actually feel bliss at will now. It's amazing. And that feeling naturally comes with blissful thoughts, ideas, moments and perspectives. It all snowballs into an epic, blissful experience. And it can last forever. The frequency I'm cultivating is being reflected to me in real time. In fact; that's how it's always been. It's just that I am now continuously aware of it. Every passing moment is my WILL. If it seems the other way, it's because I am not conscious of willingly creating every passing moment; NOW. - That's a universal truth, as far as I'm concerned. Haha. I'm creating it by first being it and then seeing it. Experiencing it. All perspectives, all thoughts, all sensations and emotions... All Will. I cannot have any more control than I already have. All control. No control. Will. "The paradox" is that looking for will is being done out of will. That is why it can seem as if there is no free will. Because WILL is all there is. Whenever it seems like I have no control; I'm using all the control I have to create that experience. It's a dance. A play. The funniest thing though, is waking up to the fact that it actually takes far more effort to be misaligned and feel bad. To overthink. To hold onto limiting perspectives and beliefs. Why use all that energy to keep feeling bad, when feeling good is completely effortles and natural? I don't have to make myself feel good in order to have a pleasant experience. I just have to stop trying so hard to make myself feel bad and simply enjoy the show. One can never find Truth. One can only stop hiding. We all rise up naturally once we stop pulling ourselves down. It takes no effort whatsoever. Once the duality between surrender and resistance collapses; all there is left is sheer WILL. GOD's WILL. And it's pure surrender. And pure resistance. At once. It's The Force. Nothing can stop it. It cannot stop itself, either. It can only make it seem that way. It can be extremely convincing. But something that has never begun cannot be stopped. Infinite Will. Everything is because Will is. Light. Consciousness. Love. Life. Death. Awakening. All because of Infinite Will. Even surrendering to God's Will is Will itself. There is no release without resistance. And there is no movement and no direct experience without any of those. Will comes "prior" to all form. All existence. This makes little to no sense prior to Self realization though; I imagine. If I was to identify myself as just a thoughtform, a perspective or a body; I'd be experiencing the appropriate amount of "free will" that matches that scenario. Everything is always adjusting to your current state of being. Aligning with You. That's how you know you are. You cannot ever truly be out of alignment or out of the flow. You can only create the experience of that. It's how you are waking yourself up. It's all a part of a flawless, perfectly synchronized, divine orchestration. Pure Will. Waking up to this can be straight on terrifying and paralyzing - as it was for me in the beginning. It can be the worst. Or it can be the best ever. It can be hilarious. You choose. That's literally how one unlocks the power of Will. Let it be Your Will. To feel amazing. To be aligned and carefree and loving and kind and compassionate and healthy and confident and abundant and joyful and playful and excited and awake and alive! Choose it all. Whatever feels right to you. Be it all, see it all, feel it all; Now. May you be blessed.

Anything that can ever be said is the devil. <--- this itself is the devil! Even this! It was such a profound insight. Yet the one who wants to speak and even share is the devil! This is the devil. The ultimate devil. It even tricks itself. Since if knows it's the devil it thinks it's a better devil then the other devils. All in the realm of the mind. no thought- pure being = angel once I came to that realization my mind just shut off and I started feeling bliss rise up from my back/stomach. I shared this so I wouldn't forget, but the only one who wants to know is the devil. Fak, this loop. Goodbye, love the devil. P.s I sware I'm not crazy! Don't judge me!

bruh That´s a Rupert´s quote I would advice against trusting everything of what of a Guru says or gives the impression (sometimes it´s not their fault) to communicate. I actually love Rupert Spira´s teaching but I have no direct experience of actually how it is his experience of life. Unless you are a in a buddha state all day long I don´t see how you are going to be in a hapiness state all day long. If really hapiness or bliss is your truly biggest motivation in life, the move is easy. Surrender all desires and go to an ashram to meditate all day long. You probably won´t realize total truth or awakening as leo says, but I´m sure you´ll be in an almost 24/7 peace state all day long. It just that you will have to surrender probably absolutely everything. And I doubt your ego wants to do that. I used to think like you, that hapiness and being in peace was my first priority in life, but then I realized if that would be true i would have surrendered everything by now and have gone to a meditation cave. In the inside there´s more drive in me that hapiness or bliss. Sometimes I think if we are alive is to experience live fully and be explorers, as you have said, cats are "happy" or "fullfilled", but they are not really experiencing the 1% of complexity of the human mind do. If you, as God, is experiencing life right now as human, why not open yourself to experience the whole range of the thing? The happiness, the sadness, the discovery, to explore, to create. But hey, I don´t judge you, ever lasting bliss sure looks delicious, is just doesn´t seem very realistic as a human form. But as I said you can always go to live on a cave.